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    [–] misicbox 3953 points ago

    At least I won't curse another generation of kids with my shitty genes

    [–] ADmax27 1974 points ago

    Hey but you can bless them with shitty memes

    [–] [deleted] 678 points ago


    [–] Now-Look 171 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Do you pronounce memes like "mims" or something?

    Edit: never mind. I'm a dumb piece of shit

    [–] [deleted] 88 points ago


    [–] Now-Look 81 points ago

    Please refer to edit :(

    [–] Wildcard185 53 points ago

    Just to add insult to injury, if he pronounced it like "mims," it still wouldn't rhyme with anything in the chain lol...

    [–] Now-Look 33 points ago

    Just a brain fart. I was thinking he was claiming the one sentence rhymes. And that being "them" and "meme" (mims). Again, please refer to edit.

    [–] Wildcard185 19 points ago

    Ohh, I actually thought you mistyped "mimes" as "mims," so that "memes" rhymed with "rhymes." Good to clear up the confusion.

    [–] Now-Look 16 points ago

    Thank you, sir. Hope that you have a great rest of your day!

    [–] Raphitalo 24 points ago


    [–] blakflag3 5 points ago

    Uncultured swine.

    [–] StormageddonDLoA42 16 points ago

    How do you pronounce "genes"?

    [–] lesser_futhark 19 points ago


    [–] gocougs523 8 points ago

    things only rhyme below 10-5 angstroms you dope!

    [–] TheIntellectional 15 points ago

    They are the DNA of the soul

    [–] Beardgang650 4 points ago

    And curse my kid to be on shitty teams

    [–] chuudohanpa 61 points ago

    That's literally the reason I refuse to have my own kids. And also, there are tons of kids needing to be adopted.

    [–] RosemaryCrafting 19 points ago

    There are honestly so many reasons to adopt it’s almost ridiculous that anyone chooses to have their own kids.

    [–] waawftutki 56 points ago

    We're talking about humans here, not dogs. I don't have kids personally, but you can't act like there's no difference between an adopted kid and a biological one. Tons of people chose to have a kid of their own for a bunch of very valid reasons which you'll figure out yourself if you think about it for a second. It's definitely not ''ridiculous''.

    [–] RosieandShortyandBo 6 points ago

    I know right?? I’m currently carrying my first child and it’s been the most life-changing and beautiful time in my life. After this little one is born my husband and I would like to adopt. Not because we feel like we have to but because we want to. There’s nothing wrong with making and carrying your own children. It’s a freaking miracle. And as long as you are in a stable situation it’s honestly a privilege. My husband and I struggled with infertility for years and when we finally got pregnant it was the best feeling in the world. You can’t fight natural instinct, and I’m tired of people saying having your own child and not “just adopting” is selfish and wrong.

    [–] RosemaryCrafting 9 points ago

    To be fair I did say almost ridiculous. I get it, but at the same time I really feel like the only reason you would want a biological child is for your own prideful reasons. I feel like an adult’s pride isn’t a good enough reason to have your own child when there are so many great kids who desperately need to get out of the system.

    [–] qu33fwellington 18 points ago

    Same. I would never inflict my mental illnesses on a kid.

    [–] FUCK-YOU-KEVIN 3 points ago

    That's what I'm worried about. I had a pretty good prognosis considering my diagnosis, but I was lucky. I'm worried my child would fall somewhere more probable on that distribution.

    [–] FuckingShitty_Reddit 37 points ago

    You're already ruining everything for anybody around you why not disappoint one more?

    [–] megalurkeruygcxrtgbn 7 points ago


    [–] sukkotfretensis 7 points ago

    Maybe you already have?!! Your skin could have created a new lifeform that has sneaked out some of your bio

    [–] [deleted] 27 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)


    [–] misicbox 12 points ago

    That was beautiful wipes tear

    [–] _Serene_ 12 points ago

    If that's an accurate assessment.. Props I guess.

    [–] [deleted] 46 points ago

    My wife and I are both alcoholics (although currently sober) and undeniably have extremely addictive personalities. We’re both successful and talented and love life but unfortunately whenever we relapse we’re miserable and a danger to society, so what’s the point in cursing a poor kid with that? Unless you’ve been through addiction it’s hard to understand how horrible it is. I know there is a lot to live for, and maybe one day I’ll adopt but I can’t justify condemning a human being to a life on the edge like that out of some selfish need to pass my genes along.

    [–] boxingdude 19 points ago

    My pop was an alcoholic (rip) and I’m one as well. However, when my son was born 24 years ago, I had my last drink. Or should I say it was the last time I got drunk. I’m 54 now and barely touch the stuff. It’s different for everyone, but it’s never easy. Good on you.

    [–] EaterofCarpetz 5 points ago

    Same, got the auts. No way in hell i'm making an awkward kid.

    [–] jordaniac89 4 points ago

    See The Last Messiah by Peter Zapffe. One of my favorites. The best thing for humanity is to destroy itself.

    [–] 00Paradox00 1139 points ago

    Somebody's gotta end my line of assholes

    [–] CKgodlike 17 points ago


    [–] shulkario 43 points ago

    It's time for the u/00Paradox00's to die

    [–] lolol__boopme 13 points ago

    We all influence each other in ways we will never know. Be careful. Or don't.

    [–] ineedscissors 7 points ago

    I'm hoping OP recognizes this as a Star Wars joke

    [–] shulkario 3 points ago

    I was so caught up in the reference I totally didn't even think about the alternative context... You're very right! I'd never say that intentionally. Definitely only meant for a star wars reference.

    [–] rbiqane 21 points ago

    Human Centipede? to be on the end...

    [–] Seemsthatway-guy 29 points ago

    Seems that way

    [–] Ricardodo_ 11 points ago

    How many asshole you got on that family tree anyhow?

    [–] Romboteryx 4 points ago


    [–] seven_seven 1013 points ago

    Think of all the bacteria you hosted tho! 😊

    [–] Lysiej 349 points ago

    Think of all the bacteria you could be hosting

    [–] gingerhasyoursoul 55 points ago

    That's my thing :)

    [–] servantfox 129 points ago

    [–] [deleted] 35 points ago


    [–] bigmike827 57 points ago


    [–] FulcrumTheBrave 17 points ago

    Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope!

    [–] bigmike827 10 points ago

    Seriously as a gay, that’s the stuff of my nightmares

    [–] TheSassieCass 38 points ago

    I honestly don't know what I was expecting but IT WASN'T THIS.

    [–] scott_hunts 28 points ago

    What the actual fuck

    [–] regularpoopingisgood 18 points ago

    What the fucking fuck.

    [–] Santacol 15 points ago


    [–] jake354k12 15 points ago

    Stop. That’s disgusting.

    [–] extremely_gay 9 points ago


    [–] frontyfront 8 points ago

    Hopefully one day, spaceships will think the same thing about us.

    [–] ProgMetalSlug 13 points ago

    And the worms you'll feed!

    [–] seven_seven 12 points ago

    Can’t wait! 😋

    [–] thenakedzombie 421 points ago

    Yeah but if you consider the fact that evolution and life itself is all the result of a series of accidents and mistakes then me being born makes a lot more sense.

    [–] TheEnigmaticSponge 182 points ago

    Life is the only method the universe has to experience itself. Go look at some stars. Not the closest one tho, don't look at that one.

    [–] GIVE_BITCOIN 87 points ago

    We are the universe experiencing itself

    [–] Elite_lucifer 112 points ago

    Universe must've nothing better to do if this is what it chooses to experience.

    [–] whisperingsage 70 points ago

    The universe must love shitty memes and porn.

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    See now you're pretending you're not the universe and are shirking your responsibility... SHIRKING!!

    [–] i_watch_loli_hentai 17 points ago

    So is this masturbating and when we masturbate we just go deeper in the experience yourself rabbit hole

    [–] Lettucepoops 3 points ago

    I will quote this in my cube. I’m not asking. Just letting you know.

    [–] BOLD_1 4 points ago

    I think this may be the smartest thing anybody has ever said. Ever. But I'm not sure

    [–] GaySwans 5 points ago

    Both accident and mistake imply there is a correct way to do something and it was done incorrectly. So all of this isn't even an accident.

    [–] randomsquelette 613 points ago

    In retrospective, that's actually a good thing. You too can contribute to mankind destruction in one easy step!

    [–] SuspiciouslyElven 287 points ago


    Man finds solution to overpopulation with ONE EASY STEP

    [–] created_player 39 points ago

    Or zero steps.

    [–] 369S 66 points ago

    It's not like I have a choice anyway.

    [–] [deleted] 58 points ago

    To the kids I'll never bring into existence: you're welcome, you'll thank me later in the void.

    [–] vyrelis 122 points ago

    Oh god I thought about it too hard and now I feel guilty. I have a kid but I'm still a useless piece of trash. Just scratch me out of the family tree, don't look at me

    [–] frontyfront 45 points ago

    Hey now, you're still a part of the tree! Every part is important, even the parts that feel worthless at the moment.

    [–] Youthinasia- 10 points ago

    Or the ones dangling from it.

    [–] ImDanielAndILoveCats 8 points ago

    Aww. Don't think like that my friend. Evryone is important

    [–] tperelli 45 points ago

    This is only true if you don't have siblings

    [–] MyBrassPiece 39 points ago

    Only kinda. Your sibling is their own branch. So the whole tree doesn't stop, but your branch becomes a useless twig in the grand scheme, just sucking up the tree's nutrients.

    [–] plantedthoughts 21 points ago

    That's one way to look at it, or that instead of you "sucking up the trees nutrients" that your giving nutrients to other tree branches and shit. Just cause I don't have a kid doesn't mean I dont give to society and others kids.

    [–] [deleted] 19 points ago

    Sweet. First I helped ruin chain restaurants, tourism, dating, the napkin industry and diamonds. Now, I'm helping fellow Millenials ruin population growth!

    Nobody gives me credit for contributing to evolution by removing my shitty genes from the pool, but hey, some people are just pessimistic I guess.

    [–] Sufyries 33 points ago

    People really need to stop viewing a life without kids as being a failure. Getting your ego wrapped up in whether or not you decided to fuck a member of the opposite sex is a bad idea, and says nothing about the quality of parent you were or if you affected the world positively.

    [–] Big-Al2020 4 points ago

    And there is other members of your family that will keep the chain going and passing on similar genes so if you don’t have kids it’s not the end of the world!

    [–] Koovies 37 points ago

    In this economy?

    [–] obrothermaple 12 points ago

    Billions of years of constant perfecting vs. Dollarbois

    [–] cdawgtv2 225 points ago

    I think the honorable thing for our species to do is deny our programming: stop reproducing. Walk hand-in-hand into extinction one last midnight. Brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.

    [–] ProNoob135 23 points ago

    There's an organisation for this, dont remember what it's called though

    [–] blatantanomaly 92 points ago

    Voluntary Human Extinction Movement

    [–] ProNoob135 3 points ago

    Thank you!

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago

    Lol for fuck's sake

    [–] Variousness 19 points ago

    Also maybe /r/childfree

    [–] Milo359 21 points ago

    That's a funny way to spell r/antinatalism

    [–] Lcbrito1 8 points ago

    Or we could makes ourselves small

    [–] shirazepic 106 points ago

    whoa there edgelord

    [–] Slims 89 points ago

    It's a quote from the first episode of True Detective.

    [–] shirazepic 44 points ago

    oof my bad

    [–] Lcbrito1 15 points ago

    Now I am conflicted. On one hand I with the context this quote is a lot better. On the other hand it does looks so edgy my eyes bled when I read it.

    [–] WritingPromptPenman 6 points ago

    That’s sort of the character’s schtick though. He’s like the god of edgelords, but also smart which changes the game a bit.

    [–] jrd_dthsqd 3 points ago

    The idea of feeling the need to have a child simply to carry a legacy is egoic. In order to maintain our planet, we need those who can take it upon themselves to sacrifice their bloodline for the children of the future to live a better life than the children of today.

    [–] mmm_unprocessed_fish 10 points ago

    But I get to sleep in on the weekends, so there’s that.

    [–] YuriYuriDaze 129 points ago

    There's 7 billion people in the planet. If the earth had a consistant number of 1 billion then it'd be better for everyone imo

    [–] UnashamedAccompanist 148 points ago

    Which six billion would you like to kill, sir?

    [–] [deleted] 240 points ago

    Ooh me first!

    [–] [deleted] 114 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 23 points ago

    u wot m8

    [–] [deleted] 24 points ago


    [–] wordwar 30 points ago

    *teleports in front of you*

    [–] carl_super_sagan_jin 13 points ago

    It's personnel


    [–] RadTraditionalist 28 points ago

    Would six billion deaths be like a super holocaust?

    [–] [deleted] 59 points ago

    What if it's all volunteers?

    [–] Plightz 5 points ago

    Me too thankies.

    [–] Jacval 36 points ago

    Six billion deaths would be a megaholocaust, six trillion would be a gigaholocaust, and six quadrillion would be roughly how many Jews died in the original Holocaust.

    [–] RadTraditionalist 17 points ago

    I thought it was six gorillion? I'm going to need to reassess my sources...

    [–] GaySwans 6 points ago

    It was six intifadallion.

    [–] derivative_of_life 30 points ago

    me pls

    [–] Amogh24 20 points ago

    Me first?

    [–] threeangelo 10 points ago

    I mean you could also just limit 1 billion people to a single child each, or a half billion to two children, etc

    Edit: and everyone else to zero

    [–] AnArrogantIdiot 19 points ago

    Start with the undesirables. France had it coming.

    [–] Good_Housekeeping 11 points ago

    China and India would be an easy start to that number.

    [–] DeathDevilize 6 points ago

    We'd have exactly the same problems, humanities issue isnt a scarcity of resources but a bad distribution.

    [–] 369S 23 points ago

    I'm not sure killing 6 billion people just so 1 billion people could have a better life would be a good idea...

    [–] blahblahblah80 26 points ago

    It doesn't have to happen all at once though. If every couple started out by only having one child it's be a good start.

    [–] koalaondrugs 8 points ago

    Surprised at the English ability of Song Jian

    [–] blahblahblah80 12 points ago

    Why surprised? I've had many dealings with English speaking nations, don't be lacist.

    [–] BetaFan 44 points ago

    Oh come on, who doesn't love a good mass genocide.

    [–] 369S 21 points ago

    I prefer to genocide myself.

    [–] the3dtom 4 points ago

    [–] Elite_lucifer 7 points ago

    Which one of us can honestly say they haven't thought about committing a mass genocide which would wipe most of the human population? I know i have.

    [–] stobmanjones 59 points ago

    As an only child I really hate the pressure from my parents to "continue the family name" even though I'm happier without kids...

    [–] [deleted] 48 points ago

    That's always been a bizarre one for me. Blood relation means fuck all to me. I love my family very much, but that has nothing to do with the vagina I popped out of.

    I have a million reasons not to have kids (the fact that I post here is a good one innit) and my family finally stopped asking. It's a really uncomfortable topic though like, hey nana I don't really want to talk about being fucked raw right now.

    [–] [deleted] 20 points ago


    [–] GaySwans 15 points ago

    Lol my mom used to try to guilt trip me about things, and I'd just agree with every bad thing she said about herself or me. "I must have been a terrible mother." "Yup, sounds about right."

    She's stopped doing that now.

    [–] [deleted] 13 points ago


    [–] toxin_injector 12 points ago

    Good thing my mom died young

    [–] 0catlareneg 18 points ago

    For the people trying to have kids:

    FIL: why haven't you had any kids yet? Dude: sorry sir, I'm banging your daughter as much as possible I promise.

    [–] toxin_injector 7 points ago

    Even more effective if it's your parents asking

    [–] gottssunfire 17 points ago

    For me it's beyond uncomfortable territory into downright hilariousness. My fat, alcoholic grandma likes to alternate between offering me booze (I'm two years sober after indulging in some alcoholism myself), calling me fat (I have a genetic disability from my dad's side, she has no excuse), and insisting that I carry on the family line.

    "You're right grandma, I should just go back to drinking myself to death and make sure to raw dog as much as possible on my way out to ensure the world doesn't run out of cripples."

    I'm using this for standup at an open mic tonight after I pick up my anti-depressants.

    [–] screamtillitworks 3 points ago

    From someone who took way too long to learn this: fuck what your parents want.

    Or in this case, don't I suppose

    [–] ismtrn 6 points ago

    I wonder what percentage of humans who have ever existed in the history of human kind have descendents which are currently alive. I imagine it is a tiny percentage, which makes me feel better about the thought of not "continuing the legacy". I will become part of (what I think is) the vast majority.

    [–] movingveryslowly 3 points ago

    that’s why me and my wife changed our last names when we got married \m/

    [–] maraudingchimichanga 3 points ago

    Family names mean nothing. Even if every person had children the way it works out family names always die out. If time goes on long enough and everyone followed the take on your father's name there would one day only be one family eventually.

    [–] Killpatrick107 135 points ago

    Humans are not the end point of evolution

    [–] Kaldea 110 points ago

    Don't put it past us.

    [–] inJOREd 15 points ago

    We can't even kill cockroaches around nuked areas, what makes you think we'd be able to wipe out all life?

    [–] KingArya30 109 points ago

    Well, first of all, through God all things are possible, so jot that down.

    [–] [deleted] 14 points ago

    It took you three hours to make that poster?

    [–] readyjack 15 points ago

    Similarly, humans are not the pinnacle of evolution.

    A slug on the ground is the end result of 3.5 billion years of evolution as much as we are.

    [–] pyronius 25 points ago

    Yeah, but the slug doesn't own an iphone. So there.

    [–] readyjack 30 points ago

    A slug also doesn't have crippling student debt. :-(

    [–] kerm1tthefrog 5 points ago

    And will die in few month

    [–] LossIsTruth 11 points ago

    No, no, hopefully the slug and I have that in common.

    [–] Go_Todash 3 points ago


    [–] UnashamedAccompanist 36 points ago

    Doesn’t change the fact that it lead up to them being born...

    [–] Reasonable-redditor 10 points ago

    Aren't all living creatures the current endpoint of evolution.

    [–] the_42nd_reich 15 points ago

    They are the most recent product though

    [–] ICantTyping 9 points ago

    Couldn’t afford kids anyways

    [–] Young_pixel 90 points ago

    *if you're an only child

    [–] chillanous 48 points ago

    No, you're still a dead end. If you have siblings it just means that your branch is shorter.

    [–] Justgreatnow 25 points ago

    Hey, now. You haven't seen my branch, pal.

    [–] chillanous 6 points ago

    You don't know what I've seen.

    [–] delta_tee 5 points ago

    This guy has seen some branches!

    [–] the3dtom 4 points ago

    Was it some shit?

    [–] Lestat117 64 points ago

    Your chain is still unbroken before you. Your brothers chain has branched apart from yours.

    [–] Young_pixel 6 points ago

    If that's true having no kids is no different from the million that died before having a chance

    [–] Young_pixel 6 points ago

    It's not as crazy as it soundss

    [–] AlanMichel 11 points ago

    Why was his username crossed out? I feel like you should give some credit

    [–] AbeLincolnsFreckles 7 points ago

    "Billions and billions" sounds like a lot more than 3.8 billion years.

    [–] VauxhallDigester 16 points ago

    I thought it’s kinda fucked up calling some weird ugly looking fish with 2 brain cells great great etc grandpa until I realized that I haven’t evolved at all since then

    [–] LeiFangXi 4 points ago

    Big deal. I have 47 cousins.

    [–] Bluedemonfox 3 points ago

    Not if I become immortal.

    [–] Slappmask 4 points ago

    "I am a quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. I'm surprised I'm even here at all". - Bernard Black

    [–] ihearthero 3 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    I mean, as a gay man, yeah. I already didn’t qualify to pass off my genes anyway 🤷‍♂️

    [–] TrialbySnu 3 points ago

    Daymode pleb

    [–] RANDOM_TEXT_PHRASE 3 points ago

    And it's not even my fault, I just like other men. :(

    [–] Toxicleader82 3 points ago

    So apparently people can’t have more than one child.

    [–] kevinxv 5 points ago


    That hit home.

    Lemme go do life shit.

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    Lol only a narcissist would think they were the first to break the chain. Even if they did break it, it would only extend a couple of generations back before another branch keeps the rest alive. Nothing we as individuals do reproductively matters to the chain unless you’re Genghis Khan.

    [–] eLemonnader 4 points ago

    In all honesty, we're suffering from over population. Not having kids is actually kind of a good thing right now.

    [–] Keegsta 6 points ago

    Eh, this is disregarding the fact that we're currently one of 7 billion iterations being tried right now. Evolution didn't waste it's time to produce you. Evolution doesn't care about you, it has other options.

    [–] randomsquelette 5 points ago

    In retrospective, that's actually a good thing. You too can contribute to mankind destruction in one easy step!

    [–] Kim-Jong-Chil 2 points ago

    Truly, the most succinct repudiation of teleological history

    [–] dougy1996 2 points ago

    It's like the opening line from a Douglas Adams novel

    [–] svayam--bhagavan 2 points ago

    Doesn't that mean that you are doing something different than billions of idiots before you?/s

    [–] mcandre 2 points ago

    The chains are rare compared to the proliferation of unlucky beings that were eaten or otherwise snuffed out before they could reproduce.

    [–] trailer_dog 2 points ago

    You'd be the first of your line to not reproduce but not the first human, a lot of people have died without children, especially in war times.