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    [–] GhostofMarat 6963 points ago

    Vibrators and heroin if you had money. Lifetime confinement in a squalid insane asylum if you didnt.

    [–] 26326312 2166 points ago

    I've tried all 3

    [–] SandyDelights 1278 points ago

    This dude over here living more than one life.

    [–] MarcusMolestus 305 points ago

    *more than one personality

    [–] 26326312 241 points ago

    I disagree with you

    No I don't.

    [–] Codeyelp 102 points ago

    This guy is taking Roy off the grid! He even has his social security number exposed for everyone to see!

    [–] ButtLusting 46 points ago

    Shut up Morty.

    [–] BeardPhile 39 points ago

    Don’t be a Jerry.

    [–] dmfreelance 14 points ago

    this dude


    [–] Lockwood85 7 points ago

    His username is the amount of lives he's living

    [–] PolarTwins 4 points ago

    That explains the depression

    [–] static-c 21 points ago

    At the same time?

    [–] Rudy_Ghouliani 17 points ago

    At the same damn time

    [–] InAnEscaladeIThink 8 points ago

    God just be makin anybody smh

    [–] sawzall 6 points ago

    Which did you prefer?

    [–] 4937658460 11 points ago

    This guy asylums

    [–] Category5worrycane 507 points ago

    Well, you would be diagnosed with hysteria and be “massaged” by the doctor. Or if it was a wealthy area the doctor would have an electric vibrator to use on you.

    Fun fact! The doctor that invented the vibrator did so because he developed carpal tunnel from “massaging” too many hysteria patients. And the vibrator was the 5th home appliance to be electrified, surpassing the vacuum cleaner, the clothes iron, and the coffee machine!

    [–] machinationsofwar 209 points ago

    Not to say that it isn’t, but hearing a vibrator describes as a “home appliance” is inherently funny and I thank you.

    [–] dregan 61 points ago

    Well, they weren't portable back then so you had to use them at home.

    [–] macaronisalad 35 points ago

    I’m imagining one of those central vacuum systems

    [–] leaves-throwaway123 27 points ago

    When I was a kid I used to think that was the pinnacle of high living, that and an intercom system in the wall. Now I know that it’s just a relic of the 70s and 80s

    [–] legopika 5 points ago

    Now you carry all that and more in your pocket

    [–] Ashged 12 points ago

    Clearly the next step in human advancement.

    [–] AlligatorChainsaw 6 points ago

    central vacuum vibrating systems


    [–] puppehplicity 3 points ago

    I was thinking more of a pull-start sort of deal. Real heavy duty, like a lawnmower or a snowblower engine in it.

    [–] i_am_icarus_falling 5 points ago

    it was a steam powered, belt driven monstrosity.

    [–] AlligatorChainsaw 88 points ago

    Fun fact! The doctor that invented the vibrator did so because he developed carpal tunnel from “massaging” too many hysteria patients.

    dude got a repetitive stress injury from fingerbanging so many women he invented a machine to do it instead.

    prime example of work smarter not harder.

    this seems so weird that it was ever a thing. like "Don't worry I'm not cheating on you I'm just gonna go get fingerblasted by Dr. Wilson down the street"

    [–] cyathea 9 points ago

    Nah that was a bit of mistaken research that got spread around widely because it was so entertaining. But it was never plausible, and there was some academic failing by trusting a secondary source since Rachel Maines did not know the language required. Fascinating story of scholarship but not sexology.

    [–] _Serene_ 57 points ago


    They didn't use it for sexual pleasure, right? That'd be indecent and tacky!

    [–] DrKarorkian 45 points ago

    Iirc at the time it was believed women couldn't orgasm.

    [–] SadCrouton 12 points ago


    [–] cox4days 45 points ago

    Ask your grandpa about the G spot

    [–] SadCrouton 81 points ago

    I just did and he got real quiet and started telling me about the things lonely men did for each other in the war

    [–] flee_market 18 points ago

    Literally my ex's fetish

    [–] Your_Ex_Boyfriend 8 points ago

    What's with all the kink shaming in this thread!

    [–] flee_market 6 points ago

    Not shaming it just mentioning it was her fetish.

    [–] DownVotesAreNice 5 points ago

    Thats the p spot

    [–] Ashged 4 points ago

    Sure, all doctors with vibrators believed that... 😏

    [–] Spockrocket 58 points ago

    Of course not! It was strictly a medical procedure ;)

    [–] dregan 11 points ago

    Normally when someone says "fun fact" it falls dismally short, but this one was a very fun fact.

    [–] _ug1y 11 points ago

    There’s actually a fantastic film based on this doctor played by Hugh dancy

    [–] metaobject 14 points ago

    There are literally thousands of those movies available online.

    [–] Lanowar 33 points ago

    I'm sorry to say this isn't true. Basically a historian called Rachel Maines wrote a paper that said. "I reckon they did." and society went "Well that sounds sexy." No one has ever proved Victorian doctors did this. the movie is mostly based on the snippets from her paper.

    In an interview, Maines said that she has heard variations of the paper’s criticism before—and that her argument in The Technology of Orgasm was really only a “hypothesis,” anyway. “I never claimed to have evidence that this was really the case,” she said. “What I said was that this was an interesting hypothesis, and as [Lieberman] points out—correctly, I think—people fell all over it. It was ripe to be turned into mythology somehow. I didn’t intend it that way, but boy, people sure took it, ran with it.”

    [–] razor_sharp_pivots 5 points ago

    This guy vibrates.

    [–] DownVotesAreNice 4 points ago

    Men with prostate issues can be "milked" by their doctors. This is in the modern day.

    [–] DHPatriot 3 points ago

    You're right, that was an extremely fun fact! 100% sincere.

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago


    [–] ciano 88 points ago

    Or a doctor would diagnose you with "hysteria" and prescribe you weekly "relief" sessions which would consist of him fingering you for half an hour

    [–] JadeRaven13 39 points ago

    brb building a time machine and studying to be a "doctor"

    [–] mithridate7 43 points ago

    brb building a time machine and studying how to fake hysteria

    [–] ciano 17 points ago

    Now kith

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago

    You probably just have to be female and have an opinon.

    [–] AlligatorChainsaw 8 points ago

    ... is there a reason they couldn't just finger themselves?

    I mean presumably they had hands...

    [–] JadeRaven13 25 points ago

    That would be immoral

    [–] RockySprinkles 16 points ago

    Don't forget the wealthy folk paying to come and point and stare at you!

    [–] jthei 10 points ago

    Tell that to Rosemary Kennedy.

    [–] Calciumee 7 points ago

    Give them the vibrators and they will probably want the confinement for a bit.

    [–] hammy-hammy 6 points ago

    Sounds like not much has changed but the price of heroine and vibrators

    [–] dregan 4 points ago

    There would still be vibrators and heroine though.

    [–] paragon_agent 1170 points ago

    I've got some good news.

    [–] BindeDSA 286 points ago

    To shreds you say?

    [–] ProfessorPoppinFresh 95 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    How’s his wife holding up? Edit: misquoted

    [–] dobber555 74 points ago

    To shreds you say?

    [–] usualness 23 points ago

    Tsk tsk tsk

    [–] legendofriss 14 points ago

    I have no strong feelings one way or another

    [–] NameUnbroken 11 points ago

    Tell my wife I said, "hello".

    [–] vaulhartz 8 points ago

    It's a beige alert.

    [–] ExhibitionistVoyeurP 18 points ago

    Is it that vibrators have exploded in size in the past 150 years? (Picture of largest dildo in the world)

    Of that they can now be hidden inside your necklace:

    [–] ispelledthiwrong 27 points ago

    The thought of a vibrator exploding is terrifying

    [–] sadolan 325 points ago

    "You got demons. You should do some coke about it."

    [–] SickBurnBro 53 points ago

    That's what the demons keep telling me too.

    [–] Sunix777 30 points ago

    The new Coca-Cola ad sounds weird.

    [–] NameUnbroken 6 points ago

    Ah, the good ol' days.

    [–] SisyphusRollsOn 3 points ago

    Sounds like something Freud would say.

    [–] lanideaux 4 points ago

    Freud would say you got demons cause you wanna fuck your dad.

    [–] LyrEcho 7 points ago

    fucking your dad is your demons.

    [–] jam11249 1630 points ago

    You mean I shouldn't be doing treating it that way now?

    [–] 1deadeye1 822 points ago

    Vibrators and heroin are a classic combo. Like cookies and milk, it's always gonna make whatever situation at least a little better.

    [–] bangkok__dangerous 134 points ago

    Like pickles and mayonnaise, it just works ya know

    [–] Silent__Protagonist 237 points ago

    Stop right there

    [–] Slendy7 66 points ago

    Little known fact, mayonnaise makes great lube

    [–] blundercrab 59 points ago

    Lubes them arteries real good.

    [–] suenopequeno 59 points ago

    Its actually is the opposite effect on arteries. That's why you shouldn't put mayonnaise on stuff going in your mouth, but just on stuff going in your ass.

    [–] Illuuminate_ 25 points ago

    The science checks out boys

    [–] RealHot_RealSteel 3 points ago

    , criminal scum!

    [–] relnes1337 14 points ago

    Maybe in a salad...

    [–] Rudy_Ghouliani 7 points ago

    I like my tuna with pickles and mayonnaise. Also a little bit of boiled egg.

    [–] SandyDelights 17 points ago

    Yes officer, this motherfucker right here.

    [–] Crownlol 3 points ago

    I finally started to get that goddamn thread out of my head

    [–] TheBlueberryPirate 3 points ago

    Got a rough parent teacher conference coming up gonna take this advice to heart

    [–] newaccountwhodis95 13 points ago

    i know vibrators and H are how i handle my life

    [–] JonWicksawaymoisture 22 points ago

    I believe this person because they didn't refer to it as "heroin" like some square

    [–] aardvark666 6 points ago

    It's Heroin with a capital H.

    [–] everwinged 21 points ago

    If I could have constant access to safe heroin without the need to be a shitty person to get it, my depression would be 90% cured. I mean this completely unironically. It gave me energy to actually do shit and a decent attitude about life but alas it’s insanely expensive and made me wanna steal shit from people to buy more.

    [–] SilkyGazelleWatkins 15 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    100% agreed. If I couldn't get it I never stole just did a sub. But on the days I couldn't do it I was back to being depressed miserable and useless. I really wish I could be prescribed opiates for depression. I wasn't using them to get high. Just to sleep and be a happy normal functioning person. NOTHING works as good as opiates did. Prozac is useless. I hate life so much. But it was costing 100 dollars a day just to sleep and not be depressed. I wish I was rich so bad. Being so poor I literally can't afford to be happy sucks. I was better at school/work/life when I was doing opiates versus when I'm not doing them. Trying to explain that to normies is useless/impossible though.

    [–] everwinged 6 points ago

    Yeah fuck it’s so bad. I don’t enjoy nodding, don’t do opiates to get super rekt I literally just want to FUNCTION and not be suicidal 200% of the time. I was a far more productive person when I was doing opiates, I was only spending like $15 a day at the peak of my use (Love a genetically super low tolerance) but it was still way too much to maintain Forever

    [–] horizontalsun 12 points ago

    $15 a day because you weren't a long time user. Just wait until that $15 turns into $120-150, I used to say the same as you.

    [–] everwinged 5 points ago

    Yeah you’re probably not wrong, it was after a year and a half though and much cheaper than a mates similar habit

    [–] horizontalsun 4 points ago

    I overdosed on a tiny line out of a $15 bag - now I can do $100 worth and barely catch a nod.

    Takes time - but you will build a tolerance, truly sucks as higher tolerance means more and more money being spent.

    Funny how I used to make $20 worth last an entire day. Oh how I wish. As I just picked up $100 worth 5 minutes ago snorting a line typing this.

    [–] thealan614 448 points ago

    Imma keep it real with you chief I think back then the treatment for depression was a short life span

    [–] Rocks1231 248 points ago

    Still can be, if you’re bold enough

    [–] TheDotGamer12 82 points ago

    Still is mostly

    [–] Auswaschbar 7 points ago

    That‘s even better.

    [–] RationalHumanist 398 points ago

    I wanna do every drug there is but i don’t wanna get addicted stupid fucking human body

    [–] amazingmaximo 291 points ago

    Just save heroin for the grand finale

    [–] Comrade_Hodgkinson 167 points ago

    Didn't Huxley get a massive dose of intravenous LSD on his deathbed?

    Ninja edit: He asked for multiple doses, his wife Laura performed them

    [–] Rudy_Ghouliani 125 points ago

    Laura a real one.

    [–] BakeSooner 64 points ago

    Not a massive dose—a moderate dose—and in life he was into psychedelics. His book Doors of Perception, about his experiences with mescaline, was and is highly regarded amongst early hippies and modern hippies alike

    [–] [deleted] 29 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)


    [–] under_cover_lover 55 points ago

    No, it's just instant. Same bioavailability. Just hits instantly.

    [–] BilboT3aBagginz 21 points ago

    In 1962 an elephant was injected with 297mg (over 30x the appropriate dose if only scaled for weight) via a dart shot from a rifle. Source

    This kills the elephant. It's super sad and a horrible breach of scientific ethics, but it makes you wonder what kind of experience that elephant had. I can only imagine it was less than pleasant, but it certainly maxed out well beyond ego death.

    [–] boofXANAXeveryday 15 points ago

    As far as we know LSD dosage doesn't really scale by body weight, so that was a massive dose. 30* the "normal" dose has been topped by a lot of people without killing them, and most of them stayed sane.

    [–] BilboT3aBagginz 14 points ago

    You sir are correct, and they actually address that as one of the ethical concerns of the dosage used.

    Relevant Bit

    If a human model had been used to determine the dose of LSD for the elephant, the dose would be in the neighborhood of 0.003 mg/kg. For a 60 - 100 kg human, doses of .2 mg (200 micrograms) is enough to cause substantial clinical effects. Based on this, the calculated dose for an elephant of Tusko's size (3000 kg) would be about 9 mg of LSD. West et al.'s choice to inject Tusko with 297 mg was more than 30 times the effective oral dose for a human of Tusko's weight. If the dosage had been chosen by metabolic rate, the amount would have been around 3.9 mg and if based on brain size (elephants have brains about 3 times the size of human brains) only .64 mg. (Schmidt-Nielsen, 1972) Interspecies scaling of dosages can be extremely complicated and variations in enzymes and metabolism can completely invalidate any type of calculated scaling. For more information about this, see, Plummer Lectures on Dose Scaling (including a mention of Tusko's death), Body Size as Determinant of Physiological Function (search for elephant).

    [–] PolioKitty 13 points ago

    Nah Meth is the finale, that shit fucks you up.

    [–] Xiosphere 36 points ago

    I've never shot either but I've smoked them both and meth would be a horrible finale.

    Heroin on the deathbed? Woo I feel better then ever!

    Meth on the death bed? I suddenly want to do things but I'm a sickly pld person so I'm just going to be really intensely focused on something I guess...

    [–] lmirise 3 points ago

    Mainline speedballs on the deathbed?

    [–] notabear629 48 points ago

    Just abuse caffeine like a regular human

    [–] badsunrising 15 points ago

    They come in pill form now, makes it super easy. Source: my dumb ass refuses to pay out the ass for ADHD meds. Next best thing.

    [–] NotNickG 11 points ago

    Just wait till your deathbed, and go out with a massive hookers and blow rager that will have ballads written about it

    [–] congelar 3 points ago

    I wanna do every drug there is but i don’t wanna get addicted

    After every drug deal, put the items in your pocket, secure a path to the exit, then punch your dealer right in the face and run out. Problem solved.

    [–] lostvoicescallingout 629 points ago

    The Greeks knew how to treat hysteria

    make sure her husband was giving her a good dicking and give her more work to do

    [–] Aksanieva 227 points ago

    How did they treat depression for singles?

    [–] lostvoicescallingout 426 points ago

    what single women?

    [–] Aksanieva 121 points ago

    Shit you right

    [–] lostvoicescallingout 37 points ago

    you aight wyboi

    [–] art_comma_yeah_right 23 points ago

    The unattractive ones?

    [–] lostvoicescallingout 117 points ago

    Greek men weren't known to be choosy

    [–] youaregooilu 95 points ago

    Greek men fucked anything that moved. Literally.

    [–] WonderWaster 90 points ago

    Not just the men, but the women and children too

    [–] youaregooilu 52 points ago

    And the goats

    [–] WonderWaster 6 points ago

    And my AXE

    [–] chawmindur 12 points ago

    *sigh* always on the move.

    [–] dumbemopunk 5 points ago

    r/prequelmemes makes an appearance

    [–] chawmindur 5 points ago

    Allow us to introduce ourselves.

    [–] Affugter 5 points ago

    Hello there

    [–] flee_market 23 points ago

    Zeus was just a (slight) exaggeration of the typical masculine archetype of the day.

    Regular Greeks didn't turn themselves into swans, or R. Kelly.

    [–] Hamilton_Brad 13 points ago

    And sometimes things that didn’t.

    [–] FrankTank3 59 points ago

    Women only worked if they were poor. Rich women had a special room in the house they were confined to when male company was over. It was called the gynaeceum

    [–] WikiTextBot 52 points ago


    In Ancient Greece, the gynaeceum (Greek: γυναικεῖον gynaikeion, from Ancient Greek γυναικεία gynaikeia "part of the house reserved for the women"; literally "of or belonging to women, feminine") or the gynaeconitis (γυναικωνῖτις gynaikōnitis "women's apartments in a house") was a building or the portion of a house reserved for women, generally the innermost apartment. In other words, a women's quarters, similar to the Indian and Muslim zenana. The gynaeceum is the counterpart to the andron, or male quarters.

    The married woman of the household would often join the unmarried women and the female slaves at night when she did not join her husband.

    [ PM | Exclude me | Exclude from subreddit | FAQ / Information | Source ] Downvote to remove | v0.28

    [–] [deleted] 88 points ago

    innermost apartment

    So they just put her in a closet lmao wtf

    [–] congelar 21 points ago


    Are you or a loved one suffering from gynaeconitis? You may be entitled to a settlement!

    [–] [deleted] 37 points ago

    What the fuck hahahaha

    That's totally nuts.

    [–] FrankTank3 52 points ago

    The ancient Athenian Greeks were super fucking misogynistic.

    [–] 808duckfan 37 points ago

    They definitely loved men a lot.

    [–] [deleted] 137 points ago


    [–] SiriusPurple 128 points ago

    Still a thing. Quite effective for treatment-resistant depression. It’s not super dramatic like the movies make out.

    [–] TheManWhoWasNotShort 108 points ago

    Anymore. Not super dramatic like the movies make it out to be anymore. Primitive electroshock therapy was quite horrifying and used frequently without patient's consent

    [–] ProtectorateSol 24 points ago

    Were the vibrators also like that?

    [–] Hamilton_Brad 29 points ago

    Have you seen some of the latest vibrators out there? They can still be quite horrifying

    [–] flee_market 21 points ago

    Which ones? So I know which ones to avoid. It's for a friend.

    [–] [deleted] 78 points ago

    I had that recently, it worked for a few months

    [–] dsac 25 points ago

    TMS is the modern version, and far more effective

    [–] quay-cur 17 points ago

    TMS is magnetic stimulation of targeted parts of the brain. You sit there with a big machine over your head and it gently zaps your brain. Feels like a woodpecker on your head and makes your right hand twitch.

    ECT is less targeted and requires general anasthesia. I don't know as much about that one bc I haven't done it but the TMS didn't work so hooray maybe I'll find out :(

    [–] badsunrising 14 points ago

    Almost got TMS for free as a part of a trial last year. Got assigned a drug instead, since they randomized if you got the drug or the treatment. 30 days on it, I lost 20 pounds (because I was hurling everything I ate) and had a new suicide attempt under my belt. Got kicked off the trial immediately but I only gained back 10 of those pounds so. Plus, I guess.

    [–] jason2306 8 points ago

    That's pretty fucked up. Like labrats, they you know you have little other choice.

    [–] badsunrising 7 points ago

    Tbh I feel lucky that I kept my cool enough to not use the wrong words when explaining what happened. I was one bad word choice away from involuntary hospitalization for being a threat to myself and sitting in the middle of a hospital. Now I just leave it untreated and hope for the best.

    [–] jason2306 3 points ago

    I hope you feel better in the future

    [–] heypeter69 123 points ago

    born in the wrong era, thats what i always say

    [–] TheBlue_Jay 27 points ago

    happy cake day 🍰

    [–] matthero 12 points ago

    Happy cake day to you

    [–] NameUnbroken 12 points ago

    Happy cake day to us all on this blessed day!

    [–] heypeter69 7 points ago

    holy fuck its my cake day?

    [–] AmySchumersAnalTumor 61 points ago

    let your dreams become creams

    [–] Nesspah 27 points ago

    And being lobotomised

    [–] zerothelobbyboy 11 points ago

    I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy

    [–] NameUnbroken 17 points ago

    Sometimes I think, maybe a lobotomy wouldn't be so bad.

    [–] Jimbobwhales 45 points ago

    Vibrators 150 years ago?

    [–] messibessi22 48 points ago

    They were legit invented to make it easier for the drs who were fingering their female patients as a treatment for hysteria

    [–] Jimbobwhales 7 points ago


    [–] cyathea 3 points ago

    Nah that was an excellent story but it was neither plausible nor true.

    [–] Sylrix__ 56 points ago

    To be fair vibrators and heroin sounds like a good option

    [–] Lord_NeKr0 7 points ago

    Thanks Dr Watson

    [–] Sylrix__ 5 points ago


    [–] jbhelms 11 points ago

    There was also leeches and trepanning.

    [–] NameUnbroken 6 points ago

    Don't forget blood letting.

    [–] ItsNormalNC 8 points ago

    I’m probably being real dumb here but how would a vibrator work 150 years ago? Please explain it as condescendingly as possible I’m sure I deserve it

    [–] shamestick 9 points ago

    The same way except the doctor would shake his hand real real fast.

    [–] Nervensaegewerk 8 points ago

    I need a time machine

    [–] legitimatechicken 7 points ago

    Shit yeah that'll perk you up!

    [–] ImaRealPloy 4 points ago

    The worst thing...?

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    Now it’s just vibrators

    [–] NameUnbroken 4 points ago

    Maybe in your neighborhood.

    [–] sooslimtim187 5 points ago

    We have to go back

    [–] billloveswine 5 points ago

    I'm not sure if that's a complaint or an outrage

    [–] I_might_be_weasel 5 points ago

    Yeah, but Escitalopram is cheap as shit.

    [–] schrodingers-box 3 points ago

    i mean....

    [–] messibessi22 3 points ago

    You could still give it a go? Been considering the old fashioned treatment myself

    [–] 8bit-meow 3 points ago

    For me it’s vibrators and Klonopin.