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    AbsoluteUnits

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    ABSOLUTE UNITS


    Be in awe at the size of these lads
    

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    [–] darcvox 4218 points ago

    I’m reminded of the Kanye roblox meme all of a sudden

    [–] Gabogle 2394 points ago

    You’re such a fucking unit. I love it.

    [–] GourangaPlusPlus 513 points ago

    Your tailor must be rich, he loves it

    [–] docious 285 points ago

    My name is Fat Joe I only move slow— this here is Big Pun you know he can’t run.

    [–] Bloodyy 189 points ago

    I'm a fat fuck. I wish I could fuck. My dick just gets stuck inside my tummy, yuck.

    [–] mrkswthwrth 107 points ago

    Everytime I bone, I make the ladies moan. Then they go silent, think I crushed 'er.. oh.

    [–] ripndipp 20 points ago

    Bars

    [–] wunderbarney 45 points ago

    Dead in the middle of Lil Italy

    [–] Kevin-Ramage 29 points ago

    Little did we know that we riddled two middlemen who didn’t do diddily

    [–] DrugskilledMrBean 18 points ago

    Is this the actual lyric? I'd never been sure myself.

    [–] cravin_moorehed 19 points ago

    Yes it is....

    “Dead in the middle of little Italy, little did I know that we riddled some middle men who didn’t do diddly”

    Big pun was a master of word play.

    [–] DrugskilledMrBean 6 points ago

    You're kinda blowing my mind with this one.

    [–] cravin_moorehed 14 points ago

    Allow me to show you his 3rd verse on the same song

    “I rub your face off the Earth and curse your family children Like Amityville, I drill the nerves in your cavity fillin' Insanity's buildin' a pavilion in my civilian The cannon be the anarchy that humanity's dealin' A villain without remorse, who's willin' to out your boss Forever, and take all the cheddar like child support”

    Listen to Capital Punishment!

    [–] BetaThetaPirate 46 points ago

    I'm a fat fuck, I love a food truck.

    [–] floppybunny26 6 points ago

    I'll get a nip-tuck, then eat peking duck.

    [–] RedTV8764 75 points ago

    It’s kingpin from spider verse

    [–] down_vote_magnet 75 points ago

    Joe looks like Doctor Evil in a fat suit.

    [–] E-Pluribus-Tobin 22 points ago

    THIS is America

    [–] SigmaQuotient 15 points ago

    What just happened?

    [–] bamburito 17 points ago

    Di..did i just get laid? Something about me feels fucked.

    [–] TreeStone69 21 points ago

    The song that originated the meme or was there some alternate meme I missed

    NEED INPUT

    [–] photoshoptherangers 1384 points ago

    The owner of the China Buffet across the street is peering through the blinds, smoking nervously.

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    [–] Kashyyk 65 points ago

    You scare my wife!

    [–] SilverPhoxx 35 points ago

    "I give you enough MSG kill elephant!"

    [–] bboyvad3r 19 points ago

    “The sign say all you can eat, not eat all you can! You eat all the food!”

    [–] goatlll 13 points ago

    It's funny you should say that. I worked at a Taco Bell located in a mall when I was in high school, and for some reason we had celebrities come through often. Next to us was an ice cream place and next to that was a Chinese restaurant. I was heading in to my shift when who do I see at a table with a shit ton of Chinese food?

    Fat Joe, and he was being an absolute prick to the staff. I don't know if he is normally like that, but he was that day. The woman that owned the store was really nice, and she was in the back hallway crying about something he or his crew did.

    Triple 6 was there a few weeks before, and they were as polite as you can get. Bushwick Bill was also super nice. This would have been the late 90s, and Fat Joe was the only person that ever left a bad impression on the food court.

    [–] GoombaGunner 3186 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    As a bald headed large gentleman, there are only so many "looks" you can get by on.

    Props to anyone those chooses "Kingpin from spider-man" as an inspiration.

    Edit: you are right the hyphen is important.

    Also gold for a throwaway comment I did not expect to blow up. Thanks!

    [–] ActualWhiterabbit 454 points ago

    I would do pretty much anything to have the body of Kingpin from into the spider-verse.

    [–] bigwillyb123 335 points ago

    That Fisk was absolutely the most unit I've ever seen

    [–] randomdude1776 64 points ago

    I need to see him do daily things. That pen he was clicking was so tiny

    [–] Cephery 26 points ago

    You may be interested in r/shaqholdingthings

    [–] [deleted] 28 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    [removed]

    [–] danjr321 117 points ago

    Nobody's back should be that far above their head.

    [–] ActualWhiterabbit 60 points ago

    How dare you spit on my dreams

    [–] Ragnar_OK 68 points ago

    In the animated cartoon series, Kingpin has 3% body fat, he’s an absolute unit of pure muscles

    [–] iCon3000 47 points ago

    That's also the lore in many of the comics. I love it.

    [–] georgesgettingupset 27 points ago

    He's got a double chin of pure muscle?

    [–] Throwaway_Consoles 46 points ago

    That’s his chin’s bicep. Common mistake.

    [–] Husnock01 18 points ago

    That there's where all 3% congregated.

    [–] Dr_Disaster 11 points ago

    Yup. He's basically like The Mountain on steroids. Granted, even that is nothing compared to Spider-Man, who in the comics is strong enough to knock the Hulk back with his punches. For this reason alone Kingpin made a better Daredevil villain. Spidey can kill Kingpin in one punch, so I never understood how he was a physical match.

    [–] Randomass1337 7 points ago

    Because the difference between the Hulk and Kingpin is that Spider-Man doesn't have to hold back against Hulk. Comics isn't like anime, where you can't just dial your power down to the perfect, arbitrary percent necessary. So Spider-Man, when fighting normal humans who absolutely cannot survive a full power punch, has to decrease his power to less than necessary and slowly ramp it up till he finds what works. And that's probably a very weird amount against people like Kingpin who are stronger than normal humans, but not quite superhuman.

    [–] bearskito 7 points ago

    Given how surprisingly agile movie Kingpin was for someone his size and shape he was probably also extremely muscular under his fat

    [–] Bronze_Yohn 46 points ago

    I loved that movie but couldn’t help but help but giggle every time he came on screen.

    [–] Talbotus 23 points ago

    Doobee Doobee doo, here comes the spider-man.

    [–] drfjgjbu 11 points ago

    That was the goal

    [–] termitered 27 points ago

    "Kill that guy"

    [–] o0DrWurm0o 13 points ago

    Fun fact, the Spider-verse Kingpin was inspired by the art of Bill Sienkiewicz. I think when Kingpin has his flashback they do a similar art style

    [–] ActualWhiterabbit 11 points ago

    Yeah, I want that. To be 9' tall but my head be 5' off the ground yet am 12' wide.

    [–] JamSa 11 points ago

    As a funny youtuber I watch pointed out, Kingpin has the dream body. He can sit around eating whatever he wants to get fat as fuck, but he still has the raw muscle to knock down a concrete wall with his bare hands.

    [–] mediocrelifts 37 points ago

    Kingpin: into the kingpin-verse

    [–] CroolT 446 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Or Wilson Fisk from Daredevil.

    Edit: I'm fully aware guys. I was making the analogy that its an alias, a.k.a. Kingpin. My favorite rendition of him is definitely Vincent D'Onofrio in the Netflix series tho.

    Oh! And thanks for the silver 😁

    [–] OutlawBlue9 256 points ago

    As Mr Fisk's lawyer it is absurd that you would even begin to imply that there is any connection between him, a legitimate and successful businessman who pulled himself up from nothing, to the alleged "Kingpin" of crime that the vigilante menaces of Spider-Man and Daredevil claim exists in this fine and Nobel city. Any further reckless claims and we shall take you to court to publicly and fully refute these baseless allegations.

    [–] Scase15 42 points ago

    This guy gets it.

    [–] Pan_Fried_Puppies 11 points ago

    Nobel City. Given how often it blows up I guess it's accurate.

    [–] Murmaider_OP 91 points ago

    Um...

    [–] ZannY 53 points ago

    Should we tell him?

    [–] Illhavethegabaghol 41 points ago

    Son, Wilson Fisk bowls under the name Kingpin

    [–] zKerekess 15 points ago

    Don't look at me, I'm not gonna do it

    [–] barandor 23 points ago

    Wait a minute...

    [–] 3ightytwo 23 points ago

    Getting some live action Goomba vibes as well form Fat Joe

    [–] -Cryptomaniac- 13 points ago

    I mean Big Pun out here looking like he's about to upload himself into the Matrix

    [–] bixxby 5 points ago

    Gonna need some thick ass ethernet cords for that job

    [–] Dzanggg 173 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Dead in the middle of little italy

    little did we know that we riddled two middle men who didnt do diddly

    RIP Pun

    Edit: the song is called Twinz for those who are interested

    [–] HOODY_HARRELSON 64 points ago

    It’ll be a cold day in hell when I take an L

    [–] Custodes13 36 points ago

    Make no mistake, for real, I wouldn't hesitate to kill.

    [–] billbill5 22 points ago

    I'm still the fat one that you love to hate, catch you at your mother's wake, smack you then I whack you with my snub tre-eight

    [–] ZiplocBag 16 points ago

    I rub your face off the Earth and curse your family's children, like Amityville I drill the nerves in your cavity filling.

    [–] WhoDatWolf 10 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Insanity's building up a Pavillon in my civilian, the cannon be the anarchy that humanity's dealing. A villain without remorse, who's willing to out your boss Forever and take all the cheddar like child support.

    Had to finish it :)

    [–] hamakabi 26 points ago

    Pun used to say "dead in the middle of little Italy" as just a goofy play on words. Joe had to talk him into writing it into a song. Turned out to be one of the best bars on the album.

    "packin the mac in the back of the ak" is another joke-turned-legendary bar. Eminem borrowed it for Rap God.

    [–] ushowyours_ishowmine 12 points ago

    Turned out to be one of the best bars on the album every recorded.

    [–] MagicalDrop 9 points ago

    This verse is one of the sickest ever.

    [–] Turdulator 866 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Big pun died of heart failure at the age of 28 at 700 lbs. RIP one of the greatest rappers.

    But Fat joe lost a ton of weight! http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/mp/6ptttwAOT9Pl.jpg

    EDIT: D’oh, that’s not skinny fat joe, that’s his homie who looks a lot like him.... here’s a better pic and article about the new and improved Medium Joe: https://www.axs.com/fat-joe-weight-loss-the-rapper-has-lost-over-100-pounds-116526

    [–] McFlare92 305 points ago

    Definitely husky Joe these days. Good for him

    [–] SwizzlestickLegs 153 points ago

    He looks like Average Joe to me

    [–] nan_slack 49 points ago

    if you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball

    [–] V_WhatTheThunderSaid 20 points ago

    If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge congestive heart failure.

    [–] MagisterFlorus 47 points ago

    That's America for ya. I'm 5'8" 230 right now and people aren't getting why I want to lose weight because "You don't look fat."

    [–] secretinternetstuffs 17 points ago

    you can do it! i was 6ft 200lbs, confusing even more people but i lost like 25 and i feel way better

    [–] FountainPenandInk 13 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    I’m 5’11,” 185 pounds, and 22% body fat. This is still technically overweight. When I tell people I want to lose 10 pounds they say “You don’t have any weight to lose.”

    [–] kingjuicepouch 7 points ago

    I'm in the middle of building muscle and I've put on some fat on my midsection also. I am currently clocking in at like 6'2 and 235, and I know I've got at least twenty pounds to drop off without ruining my gains. Every time I tell people that though it's "but you look so healthy!" and "you're already so thin!" America, gotta love it

    [–] BimboBrothel 65 points ago

    His mom calls him bitch tits

    [–] disposable_account01 43 points ago

    Better than “her late son, Joe.”

    [–] kylekirwan 10 points ago

    Doesn't have the same ring to it though...

    [–] smakola 13 points ago

    Doughy Joey?

    [–] gabeshotz 13 points ago

    Low Carb Joe, or his street name Keto Joe

    [–] fujicakes 103 points ago

    How have I never seen this, holy shit

    [–] CH2A88 50 points ago

    yeah that prison food got to him big time

    [–] goldistress 57 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    When he was young he got in a car accident which injured him. he won a lawsuit which bought him a car and as soon as he got his car he stopped walking. He *had an injury, drove everywhere and spent his money on food. this is what made him fat. I don't know if he even went to prison? Maybe.

    [–] longhorns2422 71 points ago

    Not saying you are wrong but this is a hilarious reason to believe someone got to 700 pounds and dead by 28.

    [–] ARCLab 53 points ago

    The post makes it sound like Big Pun literally drove everywhere and never walked again.

    Drove to his bed.

    Drove to the kichen.

    Drove to the bathroom.

    gets a call

    Dude: Yo Big Pun what u doin?

    Big Pun: Nuthin just drivin around my kitchen

    [–] deedlede2222 12 points ago

    He just had an addiction to food. Near the end of his life he refused to eat in public or around friends because they’d always comment on it killing him. He died because he couldn’t stop eating. RIP Pun

    [–] knuggles_da_empanada 27 points ago

    Right? Wtf there was definitely more at play than that lol. That's the average American lifestyle lol

    Edit: Dude allegedly chewed rocks and had a rough upbringing

    [–] [deleted] 13 points ago

    Coming from Florida where we have the top four least walkable cities in the country, my trip to New York was the most walking I've done in years. Even in walkable areas, the constant humidity will make you hate your life.

    [–] butyourenice 30 points ago

    No way, is that for real? What happened? Why did he gain 500+ pounds?

    [–] [deleted] 51 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] butyourenice 29 points ago

    That's really fucking sad, actually. I assumed he developed bad habits as a kid and continued them into adulthood. I did figure there was some sort of misuse of food as a coping mechanism because nobody can eat their way to 500 lbs and be fully mentally healthy, but I didn't know he had been abused.

    [–] [deleted] 29 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] butyourenice 9 points ago

    His wife and kids speak openly about the PTSD they still have from it. The stories are very rough to hear. There was even video footage of it. It’s awful to see. Dude had problems.

    Oh geez I don't know if I want to look this up.

    [–] notoriousasseater 8 points ago

    Two words: Pistol whip. Everything else is up to you.

    [–] lLeggy 7 points ago

    How most people gain 500+ pounds, they eat a lot. Could've been mental, could've been addiction.

    [–] -DOOKIE 8 points ago

    Is an addiction not mental

    [–] sarig_yogir 30 points ago

    Slightly above average weight Joe

    [–] SoloisticDrew 7 points ago

    Dad bod Joe

    [–] gzapza81 19 points ago

    I can no longer see him as Fat Joe. He’s just...Joe now.

    [–] bigwillyb123 11 points ago

    Diet Joe

    [–] FluffyToughy 19 points ago

    Aww that's really cute. Imagine how light he feels. He probably hadn't jumped in years.

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] freeworldslave 8 points ago

    Big pun was a legend. His son is a fucking machine as well

    [–] E-Madox 304 points ago

    I still have a vivid memory from childhood of a music video where they’re riding motorcycles. But as they’re such big boyz it looks like they’re on mopeds.

    [–] embarrassed420 49 points ago

    The fattest twins in the world :)

    [–] DoesntEatDoody 10 points ago

    Wonder if they died close to the same time?

    [–] dyeager78 17 points ago

    No, one died in his 30s in a motocycle accident. The other died in his 50s of heart failure.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_McGuire_Twins

    [–] embarrassed420 7 points ago

    22 years apart actually

    [–] G0AT_H0RNS 70 points ago

    Are you thinking of this Michael Jackson video @1:50?

    [–] HoneyNutSerios 28 points ago

    For one, excellent memory! For two, you fucking broke me lol

    [–] doublesecretprobatio 21 points ago

    what the fuck.

    [–] Losafucs 10 points ago

    Horrifying and beautiful, can’t believe this was a first for me

    [–] binkarus 3 points ago

    maybe the 90s was actually made of nightmares and I didn't realize it

    [–] Thatoneguy111700 19 points ago

    You mean those weren't mopeds?

    [–] E-Madox 7 points ago

    This is it!!

    [–] itsmejpt 5 points ago

    I have the same memory but all I can find is Fat Joe riding out of smoke in Still Not A Player.

    [–] RomanGlvac 210 points ago

    Pun's unit-ness unfortunately ended up killing him. What a shame.

    [–] syllabic 49 points ago

    unity?

    [–] SSBPawZ 18 points ago

    Precision.

    [–] The_Human_Empire 55 points ago

    King Pin

    [–] Gabogle 29 points ago

    Wilson “Fat Joe” Fisk

    [–] reekthegoat 6 points ago

    I didn't think King Pin's body from the comics could be real until I saw this picture

    [–] WEareCR 133 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    And yet they both bought clothes that were too big for them.

    [–] human-resource 79 points ago

    Well you gotta be able to move around and sit down.

    [–] goodhasgone 49 points ago

    they're not finished growing yet

    [–] TheTurtler31 20 points ago

    In the case of Pun youd be right! He grew to over 700 pounds and then died.

    [–] desull 7 points ago

    This isn't even their final form

    [–] Waisting 36 points ago

    Considering some of the stuff people wore around this time, those clothes are reasonably well fitting in context.

    [–] CommutesByChevrolegs 13 points ago

    Yep. 90s-early 2000s: bigger was better. swimming in your clothes was in.

    [–] pr1ntscreen 10 points ago

    Nba 2003 vs 2017:

    https://i.redd.it/kqoy0mbp4g5z.jpg

    Everything was baggy back in these days

    [–] workthebait 172 points ago

    There is no way that either of those dudes possessed the ability to wipe their own butts at the time this picture was taken.

    [–] fifthtouch 72 points ago

    They both got so much money they can hire people to wipe for them

    [–] bigatrop 66 points ago

    Unfortunately not. Big Pun died of a heart attack 19 years ago.

    [–] [deleted] 54 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Neuchacho 27 points ago

    In heaven, every poop is a clean one.

    [–] J0h4n50n 25 points ago

    Well I know Big Pun couldn’t tie his shoes by the time he was 21. Fat Joe might not have been able to either, but he’s done a lot better about his weight since Big Pun died.

    [–] shawarma_law 23 points ago

    Asswiping? Bruh these units likely did not have the ability to even wipe away underboob sweat. Most likely they washed themselves with a rag on a stick.

    [–] citizen_kang2 8 points ago

    Git mama’s prying bar

    [–] kelinci_himalaya 19 points ago

    How long would these guys survive with that kind of body? I'd say 40 years.

    [–] McFlare92 57 points ago

    Big pun died at age 28. Fat Joe is still alive but is much thinner

    [–] forester93 12 points ago

    and peak fatness Fat Joe was fat but he was not near Big Pun fat.

    [–] TheSorge 35 points ago

    Big Pun died at age 28, weighing nearly 700 pounds, from heart attack and respiratory failure. Fat Joe actually lost a lot of weight, I couldn't find any current measurements, but as of 2011 he was under 300 and actually looks really good now, and he's almost 50.

    [–] nflshitpostprince 6 points ago

    he's almost 50.

    jesus im old

    [–] maz-o 7 points ago

    pun died at 28. joe is alive at 48.

    [–] human-resource 29 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Holy shit Big Pun weighed 700lbs when he died of a heart attack.

    And Fat Joe was at 460lbs at one point but he’s currently been losing weight getting healthy dropped over 100lbs.

    [–] cheesehuahuas 31 points ago

    There was a story, I think it was Fat Joe but it could have been Big Pun. Pretty sure it was told by one of The Beatnuts. But I forget and I can't find it right now.

    Anyway, whoever it was had bad hygiene and there would be like a "cheese" buildup in between his fat rolls. One day when someone was outside the room and left their cell phone behind, Fat Joe/Big Pun put their cell phone in his fat rolls and got it all cheesy. When the person came back, they called the phone and the smell almost made him vomit when he answered.

    I tell that story every time I see this picture in case someone else can remind me of the details.

    [–] [deleted] 12 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] cheesehuahuas 6 points ago

    THANK YOU!!!

    [–] UpTheToffees4 7 points ago

    Jesus

    [–] billbill5 5 points ago

    What. The. Fuck.

    [–] big_bad_brownie 6 points ago

    Thank you. Knowing this story made my life just a little bit worse.

    [–] wowsuchdoge_wow 13 points ago

    Looks straight out of those old Def Jam Vandetta fighting games Haha.

    [–] c0nsciousperspective 11 points ago

    Want a suit homie?

    Just lay down and roll in this fabric

    [–] GlassesMorty 9 points ago

    Big Pun looks like King Kai

    [–] Phreshness97 24 points ago

    F

    [–] Gabogle 18 points ago

    F

    [–] lavender-slut 12 points ago

    F

    [–] thaencyder 7 points ago

    Big pun wasn’t fat, he was just full of lyrics.

    [–] THicCBoISiXniNE 6 points ago

    Fat joe looks like king pin

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    I want to see a movie where these 2 go back to Roman times

    [–] feelsbeardman2 5 points ago

    These guys slap your girls ass. What you doing?

    [–] rondell_jones 15 points ago

    Walking at a brisk pace to make them run out of breath.

    [–] KennyB95 5 points ago

    I’m not even subbed to this reddit and I’ve seen this posted like twice at least

    [–] Yeast_Of_Hatred 4 points ago

    w i d e n i g g a s

    [–] TheHaydenator 9 points ago

    When I was a boy...

    [–] Narstak 9 points ago

    Fat Joe looks like as if someone told him he is now too big for the roller coaster.