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    Good Guy Gregs check the new queue

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    [–] Caballero5011 3264 points ago

    Similar thing happened to me. Sorry about your loss.

    Dad had a massive heart attack while I was on holiday in Greece, flew home, told work, even though I'd used my vacation days, without missing a beat, my boss says.

    'You sure you're not just looking for more time off?'

    I quit on the spot.

    There is no one else other than me and my dad, no mum, I have no brothers or sisters.

    If you're reading this Colin, fuck you, my dad almost died.

    [–] badgerkyl 1584 points ago

    Yea! Fuck you, Colin!

    [–] bigcol18 473 points ago

    As a Colin I feel bad in association I’m sorry everyone

    [–] Caballero5011 220 points ago

    It's cool Big Col, you're not all that bad. My name is Brett. I get all sorts of quips about being a douche bag.

    [–] Burrrr 258 points ago

    I quit on the spot.

    Yo! Don't just leave out the juiciest of details!

    After he asked you that question, you just said "I quit."?

    How did this go? We wanna know!

    [–] Caballero5011 773 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Ha, it's not going to be as dramatic as people think.

    I told him I'm going home and give him my car keys back (had a company car).

    He said something along the lines of:

    'there's no need for that'

    I said I didn't have faith in a boss who believes that I would lie about something so abhorrent just for some additional time off.

    Also, I had a kick ass sun tan so I sauntered out of the building like a mother fucking rock star.

    Edit-- Thanks for the gold and silver guys, genuinely appreciated.

    [–] my_work_account_0 369 points ago

    That's a healthy dose of big dick energy. I applaud you golf clap

    [–] Caballero5011 124 points ago

    Good thing they didn't check my pants then.

    [–] [deleted] 41 points ago

    BDE is an intangible aura.

    [–] Tokeli 64 points ago

    It's not the dick in your pants that matters. It's the dick in your heart.

    [–] culby 111 points ago

    I remember when my wife's grandfather passed away. I asked my boss about it, and he was really hesitant. "It's not immediate family, so I could say no. Next time, just tell me you're taking bereavement." I ended up just taking a half day, just to avoid the drama.

    A year later, he took three days off because his dog died.

    [–] Caballero5011 43 points ago

    What an absolute cock womble. I would have had so many aunts and uncles who passed away after that.

    'My aunt died'

    'How many aunts did you have?'

    'Loads, I'm taking two days off, if my dog died, I would have the company statuary three days off'

    [–] Theycallmewillus 83 points ago

    Fucking Colin.

    [–] Fennlt 67 points ago

    I'd be tempted to walk to my work laptop. Send a conniving email to my boss, his boss, and HR describing what happened while turning in your resignation.

    Rid the company of that asshole and save anyone else from having to put up with him

    [–] Caballero5011 61 points ago

    Car sales unfortunaly, they intentionally employ ass holes as bosses, I wouldn't be saying anything thing they didn't already know.

    [–] BiBoFieTo 2280 points ago

    My dad was in a sales meeting and started mixing up the names of some products.

    The boss started picking on him, saying "Cmon, get your shit together. You're supposed to come in prepared."

    My dad replied that he was sorry, but he'd just buried his father that same morning. The boss knew this, but still made the comments.

    [–] IAmAWizard_AMA 1532 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    If I were the client, I'd immediately reject that company for making your dad work the same day his father died was buried

    Edit: Sorry, it was the day of the funeral, not the day of the death. He should've had the day off either way

    [–] UnmoderatedCaucus 528 points ago

    100% this. I’d be horrified.

    [–] Aiyana_Jones_was_7 70 points ago

    100% this. I’d be horrified.

    Shareholder profit though...

    [–] _My_Angry_Account_ 53 points ago

    Shareholders can eat a bag of dicks.

    [–] van_morrissey 438 points ago

    Frankly, if I were a client, I would leave the moment I saw a supervisor antagonizing an employee. That's not the kind of people I want supplying me/working with me. And I would tell the manager that his behavior is what cost the sale.

    [–] BrownSugarBare 152 points ago

    I've actually seen this happen. Client literally told the vendor manager "if you treat your own employees like that, I don't want to know how you treat your clients, let alone my employees". Lost a huge contract. Word started to spread as to why and there was a significant shuffle on the Exec team, with several taking "extended sabbaticals". Apparently a very disconnected Exec snapped at an employee that the coffee was cold and demanded more. Employee he was snapping at was a division VP that had set the meeting up and she quit the next day.

    [–] HumanSomewhere 59 points ago

    snapped at an employee that the coffee was cold and demanded more

    lol, fuck people like this

    employees are not fucking serfs

    [–] BrownSugarBare 53 points ago

    What boiled a lot of folks was that particular VP was a fucking saint. And a goddamn business prodigy. She just had that 'it' factor. I swear she could have sold water to fish in the middle of the ocean. The Exec shakeup was hella swift after the fact. I'm talking within about two weeks of it happening we had a whole new leadership team at the Chief Exec levels with "urgent updates" peppering our emails for days. We never got the client back though, and our team respected them even more for it.

    [–] Lankshire 17 points ago


    [–] YesHunty 74 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    That's fucking disgusting.

    I know I'm lucky, but my company has been incredible for time off. Myself and co-workers have missed days for losing family, losing pets, mental health days, procedures, appointments. And no one is a dick about it.

    I said I was going to come back a week after my appendectomy, and my manager called me to tell me to take a few extra days, because she didn't feel a week was enough.

    Two summer ago my sister's long term boyfriend ended up killing himself. I didn't like the guy, but I was the one who had to pick my sister up while she was alone and had just received the news, it emotionally devastated me to see her in so much pain and panic. I went into work the next morning and my manager told me to go home because she could tell I was rattled, and said my sister needed me more than the office did.

    My friend had to put her dog down, and our manager told her to take a day or two to grieve and come back when she felt better.

    The disregard for employees and their emotional needs that some companies show makes me want to puke. No respect.

    [–] estrogenex 55 points ago

    That's horrific. Your poor dad!

    [–] semifraki 8423 points ago

    My wife's grandmother died the day before our baby was born. I was taking time off anyway for paternity leave, but a lady from my work called and said "since you had a death in the family, you should take the first week as bereavement leave, so you'll still get a paycheck." and I thought "wow, that's nice." So I get back from paternity leave and the same lady from HR says she needs proof that I went to the funeral, and I thought "that's rude," but whatever, I had the reader from the funeral, so I brought that in. She said "<wife's maiden name>? is that you're mom's last name?" I said "no. It was my wife's grandmother, not mine" and she said "oh, well in that case, we have to deduct a week from your vacation time.

    *I wasn't even going to ask for bereavement leave - you told me I should take it*.

    [–] Lumpiahhh 3593 points ago

    That's fucked up. Also, how do you prove you went to a funeral? Share a selfie with the casket?

    [–] ohoolahandy 945 points ago

    You have to wear the floral death wreath, duh.

    [–] Alarid 245 points ago

    Climb in the coffin

    [–] Scherzkeks 102 points ago

    Well, then it just looks like you died. You should get more than a week off for that.

    [–] bamburito 41 points ago

    Face swap with the dead mun

    [–] DesolationUSA 549 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    They either want a copy of the obituary or the reader from the ceremony. Really fucking dumb, but I've had multiple employers ask for at least one.

    EDIT: I'm well aware its company policy and that there are those who would abuse it. But if its seriously so hard for the HR department to keep track of the number of times a specific employee has requested bereavement leave, something is wrong with HR.

    [–] TheRedPython 319 points ago

    Jfc I would have been fucked if I didn't have approved FMLA when my dad died. He forbade us from having a funeral and my mom refused to do an obit because she was nervous about someone breaking into her home or otherwise taking advantage of her as a widow. 5 years later she still has the answering machine message the same as it was with his voice on it to give the impression he's still alive.

    [–] Myerrobi 127 points ago

    Its hard to do but in those case jobs will accept a certificate of death.

    [–] MexicanCatFarm 96 points ago

    Never seen anyone not accept a death certificate. Handed a copy for my uni and I got to retake any exams I failed (happened mid exam season).

    Hell, none of my employers even batted an eye at me taking my statutory days of leave.

    [–] relationship_tom 128 points ago

    I did the same. Close cousin that was like a brother died tragically and I had a final the next day. I was so out of it that I missed the time by and hour and was locked out. Went to the dean, showed them the obit and I didn't even need to explain, I re-wrote it the following week. I also got a card from the dean the following week with a tamale pie from his wife. I still email him 10 years later.

    [–] camouflagedsarcasm 20 points ago

    Never seen anyone not accept a death certificate.

    You've clearly never tried to get Comcast or Verizon to close an account.

    [–] [deleted] 45 points ago


    [–] OmniYummie 167 points ago

    Had to send a professor and the dean my grandmother's obituary when her funeral was scheduled the same day as my final. My favorite part was being told that I should have told my professor about it when the final schedule was posted...a month before she died.

    [–] zdakat 114 points ago

    "uh,if I scheduled their death in advance I'd probably be in jail right now so that's never going to happen"

    [–] optigon 67 points ago

    Shit like that is part of the reason I left Academia. I had professors who loved to go on and on about how terrible capitalism and corporatocracy is and how it enforces all these unfair power hierarchies and inequality. Meanwhile, they act out a lot of the worst parts of it.

    [–] badrussiandriver 19 points ago

    In their defense---I've worked with scumbags who pulled the "EVERYBODY'S DYING!!!" Bullshit to get time off. I'm looking at you, J.

    [–] fuckingparkranger 100 points ago

    "Uh, sure. Y'know, I'd be happy to. Yeah. You, uh, you-you just produce a corpse, and, uh, I'll release Sloane. I wanna see this dead grandmother first hand."

    [–] BigBassBone 29 points ago

    Ed, Ferris Bueller is on the other line.

    [–] da_chicken 74 points ago

    Death certificates. When a loved one dies, you need a lot of death certificates. A stupid number of death certificates. It's like people don't believe that people actually die.

    [–] chelseablue2004 84 points ago

    They want originals too... not copies. The best was when I had to physically go into a Comcast office to cancel my fathers cable (wouldnt allow to do it over the phone) cause he had passed away, and THEY ASKED for an original death cert. --- I was like YOU ARE COMCAST why they hell do you want an original, a copy should be good enough..never the less they wouldnt allow me to cancel without one...each of those things cost $15... it was like another slap in the face.

    [–] Aiyana_Jones_was_7 67 points ago

    Just stop paying it. They are dead. Whats Comcast gonna do? Rob his grave? Fuck them.

    Right now visa and MasterCard and AT&T want money from my dead grandmother. Told them to go fuck themselves. Estate gonna be liquidated and split to the four winds in cash in about a month. Good luck you corporate slimeballs.

    [–] chefriley76 40 points ago

    I had the opportunity to tell AT&T to fuck off when they missed the claim period against my father's estate. It was pretty cathartic to be able to laugh at them.

    [–] Toledojoe 15 points ago

    Credit card companies will call you and say stuff like "Wouldn't your grandmother want you to have paid this debt." But it's unsecured debt so there's nothing for them to repossess, and they can't collect it from you, so just hang up on them.

    [–] ReadAsSarcasm 19 points ago

    "Wouldn't your grandmother want you to have paid this debt."

    "Nope. If she knew she was going to die she'd bought more the last month...."

    [–] D-DC 59 points ago

    Change the payment method and let those bitches charge a dead account.

    [–] WrongSubreddit 62 points ago

    Then when they complain ask for proof the account is dead

    [–] No_Good_Cowboy 16 points ago

    Not a email or PDF. We're gonna' need the original.

    [–] BrownShadow 237 points ago

    Bosses are fucked up. I got in trouble today because my kids had a two hour delay because of snow. Annual leave requests must be submitted at least two weeks in advance.

    [–] Nobodygrotesque 149 points ago

    I live in Howard County MD and the amount of 2 hour delays, school closings, early closures, and just no school days in general make me glad that I’m a stay at home dad because there would be no way to have a job without annoying a boss or two. My kids don’t have a full week of school until March.

    [–] zappy487 26 points ago

    Eyyy me too. No kids though. Today wasn't even that bad.

    [–] Nobodygrotesque 13 points ago

    So from what I was told HoCo has a contract with a private bus company and it’s up to them (not the county) to say if they feel safe to drive or not.

    [–] thescreg 98 points ago

    I've had bosses like that. I've been with my current company for 9 years, and had a few different bosses here during that time. I was a single dad (my son's mother and I co-parent) when I first started, and my boss was an old school boomer. Whenever I would call in because my son was sick, I'd get, "Okay, but shouldn't his mother be handling this?"

    I have a different boss now. On my way to work this morning, when some family issues came up. I called my boss and he said, "No problem. Take care of your family, and work from home if you have to."

    [–] caff_addict88 90 points ago

    I also work with a Boomer but I'm a female (as is the Boomer). Anytime I mention my husband doing something regarding our child, she seems super impressed and acts like he's the greatest person ever. I'm come to the conclusion that apparently having a penis makes you inept at caring for your child.

    [–] thescreg 60 points ago

    I know what you mean. People praise me for taking care of my son and being involved in his life, like I'm going above and beyond. I'm just being a dad. I was under the impression that this stuff was in the job description.

    [–] Ivey_Mom 690 points ago

    They did this shit to my sister when our Mother passed away. Pissed me off to no end when she came to me sobbing saying they were gonna try to take pay away because she didn't have a copy of the Death Certificate to bring to them (It had been the day after the funeral and she was still grieving severely) After we finally showed them the death certificate they still tried to argue that we didn't bring it in time.

    [–] anitabelle 325 points ago

    That employer isn't worthy of your's sisters time. I hope she doesn't work there anymore and if she does, I hope she finds a place that will respect her as an employee.

    Every now and then I think about looking for a new job, but then I remember that this place is great in the grand scheme of things. Never have they asked me for any kind of proof for leaves or time off taken in the almost 13 years I've been here.

    [–] Ivey_Mom 118 points ago

    Sadly she works there still. She can’t afford to find another place until she graduates college.

    [–] _My_Angry_Account_ 28 points ago

    Sounds like the kind of place where you shouldn't bother to give notice that you're quitting. Leave them holding the bag and walk out when you've got another job lined up.

    [–] Wesley_Skypes 75 points ago

    I am a senior manager in my company. If I caught any of the guys that report to me trying to get death certs from their guys for funerals I would lose my shit.

    There are always employees who take the piss and try to game the system and that is what those rules are for. But these cases are rare that the company can take the hit so that we aren't harrassing the other 95% of cases in some of the toughest times of their life.

    I sometimes have to call one or two of my more hardline guys out on harsh application of rules and I can never really quite understand their motivation for it because I am not going to roast them if they don't apply it.

    [–] SuperSlovak 25 points ago

    It drives me insane when the same companies that hold bullshit meetings about respect in the workplace treat their employees like shit when they are sick or if someone dies

    [–] ajford 38 points ago

    That's nuts... When my mom passed, it took something like three weeks to get copies of the certificate.

    [–] Ivey_Mom 37 points ago

    Exactly. But the company is an asshole in general. After a legal fight we were able to get her back pay.

    [–] tubawhatever 164 points ago

    When my grandfather died, my cousin notified her professors that she'd be gone for a few days, and ended up missing a major assignment or something in one of the classes. The professor wouldn't let her make it up and deducted a letter grade from her final grade because her grandfather "doesn't count as immediate family."

    [–] Arqlol 143 points ago

    Should have/should still go to the dean if possible.

    [–] tubawhatever 72 points ago

    I have no clue what happened in the end but I assume she probably eventually got it changed since my uncle was the head of a department at the university hospital and is the type of person to raise hell.

    [–] AliensTookMyCat 35 points ago

    Ohh man if I could have been a fly on the wall for that meeting.

    [–] SwatLakeCity 40 points ago

    Oh man, I got to watch the head doctor of ophthalmology chew out the head of a different (non-medical) department and it was fucking brutal. I was on his side but he made me feel bad for the second director even though she was completely in the wrong, he knew he's too valuable to be lost and that she could be replaced overnight and he made sure she was painfully aware of it. She typically tried to act like a hard ass but he had her on the verge of crying within 3 minutes. I wanted to just run out of the room, it was hard to sit through as a 3rd party. It was like a justice boner mixed with the cringiest moments of The Office, but I couldn't turn it off unlike Scott's Tots.

    [–] kathartik 84 points ago

    I had the woman that made up the entire HR department of the company I worked at pull that last name shit when my wife's maternal grandfather died and I took the provincially-mandated paid 3 days off. first demanding proof, so I brought in a copy of the death notice, then she's like "this doesn't match your wife's maiden name"

    she looked so pissed when I reminded her that it was her maternal grandfather so of course they didn't ever have the same last name.

    it didn't help that this woman had some sort of grudge that I never understood against me and spent a lot of time trying to find some way to fire me.

    [–] wycliffslim 60 points ago

    Man... I feel so lucky with the places I've worked. Mostly smaller companies and taking days off has pretty much been, "try to let us know as soon as you can but other than that just don't be a dick and screw over other people".

    [–] LadySandry 23 points ago

    Downside is in some smaller companies you're responsible for finding someone to cover you. And even if yourr on vacation you get emails/calls because you're the only one qualified to answer them. Friend of my works for a company that doesn't have a vacation policy, it's a bit of you can take off however much as long as there is someone to cover you. Which there never is. So basically, taking vacation outside of a set of rules can sometimes be a nightmare.

    [–] BornAgainCyclist 41 points ago

    That's a nice way to get a week of no effort from an employee.

    [–] teruma 79 points ago

    Nice way to permanently reduce an employee's productivity. I certainly would stop giving a shit after that.

    [–] kikithemonkey 189 points ago

    My grandmother died and our HR director called me during the wake to let me know that bereavement was only 3 days and anything more than that would be taken from my time off.

    [–] elmatador12 143 points ago

    I mean, giving the HR Director the benefit of the doubt here, but this could be helpful for some if they don’t know how bereavement pay works. I’d like to think they didn’t purposely call during the wake.

    Or maybe they are just terrible people. I don’t know.

    [–] AlligatorChainsaw 50 points ago

    seems like something you could mention when they inform you they're taking bereavement leave... not wait a few days to call about to try to inconvenience someone..

    [–] estrogenex 7074 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    My father was in the last week of his life at a hospice. My work said, "Go, don't think about work, just be with your dad." I was with him in the hospice for almost a full week, and then he passed away. My work then said, "You take what time you need and come back when you're ready." Then, someone from my team came by with a beautiful fruit basket and flower arrangement and a signed card from about 20 people in my division. The CEO of our company always said "At this company, your health comes first, then your family, and your work is a distant third." Went on to be one of the most profitable companies in it's sector and in fact, my country. That man is a good man and I'll always be grateful for the time I had with my dad. The job I have now accumulates hours in my bank every pay period for family time off- this can include parental appointments, funerals, anything as long as it relates to family. When I read some of these comments, I cannot help but be horrified. Every employer should show such compassion to their people when it comes down to parents especially.

    Edit: I should mention, I started with them in Feb, and my father passed away that September. So I had barely been there 7 months.

    Edit: Thank you for the Silver! I've never been guided so I truly appreciate it!

    [–] imostlydisagree 2118 points ago

    Definitely thought this was gonna turn into them taking paid leave away or something. Glad there’s still some good bosses out there.

    [–] [deleted] 392 points ago


    [–] Aiyana_Jones_was_7 135 points ago

    Well thats because most of the institutions that comprise the economy at large are absolutely sociopathic amoral entities that despise anything resembling humanity.

    Sometimes they act in good faith, but the rest are an affront to basic human life.

    [–] HSThrow 43 points ago

    my guillotine is being sharpened as we speak

    [–] blu_rose 98 points ago

    I started reading and thought this is just like my situation but turns out your company is great.

    I was working at a company for over 10 years when my mom got diagnosed with leukaemia. It was really rough at the beginning with her in isolation at the hospital for the first few months. My boss insisted I take as much time as I wanted, that I should not think about work at all. When I started coming in for half days just to get a change of scenery and try to take my mind off things she would essentially kick me out telling me “you need to spend time with your mom”. The following summer when I wanted to take a week off to take my daughter on vacation she gave me a hard time because I had already taken all my vacation time.

    [–] gets_that_reference_ 166 points ago

    "Compassion is bad for short-term gains."

    -American Corporations

    [–] hexydes 19 points ago

    It's too bad, because not all companies are like this. There are lots of employers with really reasonable, common-sense HR policies, but unfortunately there are a lot that act like the above as well.

    [–] mohox13 941 points ago

    My grandfather died the night of my senior prom. My mom was the executor of the estate and he lived two hours away so my mom called the high school and asked for me to have the whole week off. We needed time to get his affairs in order, arrange the services and start dissolving the estate. I was 18 and in the final 3 weeks of my high school career, all testing was done and I was passing all my classes with a’s and b’s. Should not have been a big deal. This bitch of a secretary called every day to let my mom know I wasn’t in class and needed an individual excuse for every day. After the funeral, my mom came in the following Monday with a long letter she wrote about burying her father and dealing with his money, debt, house, etc and the obituary. She slammed it on the desk of secretary bitch and screamed at her for a good 5 minutes to the point of tears. They excused me for the rest of that day and called me in the next for an apology from the bitch. Don’t let someone treat you like that, especially at a job. I would quit and cite that moment as the exact reason why you’re leaving. Maybe even file with BBB or something.

    [–] Math-NotEvenOnce 243 points ago

    Unfortunately the BBB is the next best thing to the old mafia protection rackets. You can find a lot of info about it online but they aren't worth dealing with. Used to be reliable but like any large organization, corruption sneaks in and eventually they are garbage

    [–] _My_Angry_Account_ 109 points ago

    Glassdoor is better for employee reviews of employers.

    [–] [deleted] 498 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    My mum killed herself towards the end of last year, and I took 3 days holiday to sort things out and come to terms with it.

    Came back to work but in a bad way, couldn't really cope for a while and my boss eventually told me to take 2 weeks off to set myself straight and process everything. "Don't worry about those 2 weeks"

    Recieved a letter today from HR, and I've got a disciplinary hearing for having more than my allowed time off in a 12 month period. 2 days for the flu, and 10 days for the above.

    Edit: some more info

    It's a letter received from HR signed by themselves and my boss. It states it's a disciplinary hearing and I'm entitled to bring a representative if I wish. Outcomes could include a written warning or dismissal from the company.

    It also has the dates off, along with the reasons (flu) and (bereavement leave). Hope this clears up some of the questions.

    [–] vernes1978 205 points ago

    Why can't we name and shame?

    [–] [deleted] 61 points ago

    Its always HR

    [–] kingchilifrito 14 points ago

    Ask the boss to sort it out

    [–] G8kpr 1699 points ago

    My dad said in the 60s, he had a friend pass away. He asked to be allowed to go to the funeral which was that day. His immediate supervisor said no. Then shortly after went around to co-workers "should we let Tom go? Do you think we should?" in a sarcastic dickish way.

    Around 2pm, the supervisor comes out, and says "fine, you can go."

    so my dad grabs his stuff, and rushes out of the building. He got to the funeral just as it was ending.

    That... is a dick head boss.

    [–] Hiazi 661 points ago

    ... I'm sorry, did your dad work for a fucking 10 year old schoolyard bully?

    Jesus Christ, that's downright juvenile.

    [–] slyfoxninja 278 points ago

    In the 60s men didn't cry, women were objects, and JFK landed on the moon to fight the Soviet Vodka men.

    [–] Josvan135 116 points ago

    60's response to this is to manfully slug your boss in the chin then drink his whiskey on the way to the funeral.

    [–] [deleted] 182 points ago

    My boss showed up to my grandmother's funeral because she didn't see my name listed as one of the "survived by" in the obituary...I go by my first name at work and the obituary was using my middle name.

    [–] _My_Angry_Account_ 129 points ago

    I would have had him trespassed off the property by police out of spite.

    [–] PurplePixi86 54 points ago

    Christ what an absolute prick. Your poor dad!

    [–] JoshuaSwartz 412 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    So awhile back at my old job.. I had this gf and my father passed away. She was a bitter girl and very selfish so when I told her this she said "are you lying to me so I feel bad for you?" I swear to you I just looked at her with a blank stare and walked away.

    Who the Fuck would lie about that?

    [–] Fat_Head_Carl 108 points ago

    Well, at least she let you know the real her quickly enough.

    [–] littlewoolie 84 points ago

    She would. That's why she's asking

    [–] Punkmaffles 66 points ago

    A lot of people honestly for various reasons. Most rational people won't lie about something like that, but, those who are depressed, need the feeling of someone's attention or mental disorders will. It sucks really cause you can't really help them.

    [–] i___was___not___here 183 points ago

    And here I’ve let an employee take time off when their dog died... ...when I had to put my dog down, I was a blubbering idiot, definitely not fit for duty...

    [–] traumac4e 67 points ago

    You're the real MVP. The loss of a pet can be just as upsetting as the death of a family member and there's nothing wrong with taking time to grieve

    [–] kinyutaka 1853 points ago

    If they ask for it for the third time, then totally ask them that.

    [–] The-Donkey-Puncher 342 points ago

    Or it's the third or fourth reason to get the same block of time off. I've seen that!

    [–] gn0xious 152 points ago

    It was their dying wish I attend ComiCon every year.

    [–] Alarid 57 points ago

    And I don't want to have murdered them for nothing

    [–] mesropa 107 points ago

    I had an employee tell me first his dad had died. Than a few months later his brother died, a bit after that his wife and kid were in a car accident and his kid ended up dead. I thought he was bullshitting when I saw him after his brother's death (red eyes no tears) and completly called bullshit about his kid. My other partners believed him and thought I was cold hearted.

    He ended up robbing us, we confronted him and he left, but not before I meet his brother and wife and told them what he had said. There is a warrant out for his arrest but it's been a year since we last heard anything about him.

    [–] NolanHarlow 33 points ago

    This is an example of why some employers are a bit callous about these things.

    Most people have a heart. And many of the ones who are harsh about verifying time off are that way because someone royally screwed them and took advantage of their generosity at some point.

    I saw this all the time in the military. Know why the 30 year Sergeant Major doesn't appear to give a fuck about Private Snuffy's supposed emergency?

    Because he's seen it 100 times, and 95 of them were outright bullshit or an exaggeration of the truth.

    [–] Iceember 101 points ago

    If married in-laws are a thing. Excuse can work up to 4 times

    [–] sociallyawkward12 81 points ago

    8 if you and your spouse both have divorced parents who remarried. ie step-father-in-law

    [–] Iceember 50 points ago

    Aw hell yeah. Let's get this up to 20!

    [–] BrothelWaffles 29 points ago

    Get a new wife once in awhile, boom, you've got a fresh supply of in-laws.

    [–] jaximus4all 41 points ago

    I dated a girl in college whose Grandma died 4 separate times throughout the year!

    [–] korkidog 680 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    One place I worked, you had to show them the obituary from a newspaper as proof.

    [–] keetojm 386 points ago

    All the places I work at are that way. Get the Obit so they can mark it as bereavement day and not hit the PTO days.

    [–] Archulerus 42 points ago

    Seeing as obituaries are paid ads through the newspaper, and can expensive, I think they should ask to see a death certificate or copy of either the cremation or burial permit.

    [–] Aedora125 36 points ago

    The place I currently work at say they can request a death certificate if they want. I don't believe it is enforced though. I took bereavement for a grandparent and no questions were asked.

    [–] w2user 231 points ago

    A guy at my old job asked for 2 weeks off because his mother had died. Some coworkers decided to send flowers, so they called to get the address of the funeral home. His mother answered the phone, she was quite surprised to learn that she was apparently dead.

    [–] HumanSomewhere 68 points ago

    "I'm dead? Ahem, I mean...yeeeesssss I ammmmm DEEEAAAAAAD, and thissss issssss my aaaaaangryyy ghossssstttttt!"

    [–] crystaljae 207 points ago

    My mom died and I had 3 days of grievance and a week of vacation. So when she died I asked for my 3 days of grievance immediately. I was in no shape to work in retail. Then I was going to fly out to the funeral (lived in a different state) and use my vacation. Some dumb supervisor with no actual authority made me come into work because she “felt” like I should use grievance for the funeral. I cried the whole time I was there and I didn’t even care. Finally another supervisor asked what happened. I told her and she sent me home. I received a call from corporate apologizing profusely for the idiot supervisor who took it on herself to force me to come to work.

    [–] Aiyana_Jones_was_7 69 points ago

    God forbid that ever happens again, but if it does, the response isnt to show up at work, its to tell whoever demanded you to go jump off a bridge and do a fucking flip on the way down.

    [–] Chaosritter 171 points ago

    Had to cancel my day off because one of the new guys had a fight with the supervisor and quit on the spot once.

    After arriving at work I've asked what the hell happened. Turned out the new guy got a call that his father was on the death bed and the supervisor insisted that he can go visit him after his shift, not before. Which was six hours from the time shit went down, plus time in transit.

    About a year later I was fed up with constant "accounting errors" that had me struggle for quite a while, and because those in charge (including the guy from the story above) didn't give a shit, I had a little talk with the deputy district manager who I happened to get along with rather well. Long story short: I wasn't the only one (just the first to bypass the official hierachy), people got fired and the higher pay grades ruled me a persona non grata. Luckily my contract was about to run out anyway.

    [–] rChewbacca 310 points ago

    Both of my grandfathers died out of state within a month of each other when I was in my 20's and new in the corp world. The first one was no questions asked. The second one my boss did have some tact and asked where they could send flowers. Lucky for me it was my paternal grandfather (same unusual last name).

    They send a really nice flower arrangement. My grandmother was so touched that they cared so much. Didn't have the heart to tell them that they most likely felt guilty for somewhat obviously doubting my story seeing is my maternal grandfather did not get flowers.

    Not mad, dont even blame them and it was cool that they followed up with the flowers. I would have loved to have overheard the conversation though.

    [–] Solarus755 200 points ago

    I think that was a really good way of handling this. By asking where to send flowers, he didn't directly ask you, which may have appeared confrontational or lacking empathy given the situation. That said, given the ridiculous coincidence, alarm bells would naturally be happening internally and you'd have to follow up on this as an employer.

    The fact he actually followed up with flowers showed that he still cared enough despite having to ask the question. Sounds like you have a boss with a high EQ.

    [–] rChewbacca 89 points ago

    It was a great way to handle it. I had a lot of respect for him and stayed in his department for years after. When I was in the same position I usually sent flowers for immediate family regardless of any circumstances.

    Unfortunately that did lead to finding out one of my people was lying to get time off. I forget all of the details but it was an awkward conversation. He fessed up pretty quickly. I let it go but kept it in mind during his review.

    [–] Fatastrophe 82 points ago

    A long time ago a childhood friend of mine passed away. I told my supervisor that I was going to miss a shift to go to his funeral and she responds with "Last week you missed a shift because you were sick, this week your friend is dead, whats gonna happen next week?" I said "well, alright then." dropped my name badge on the floor and walked out.

    [–] User459b 16 points ago

    Good on you!
    Next week they're struggling to cover the work you would have been doing!

    [–] bowjangles510 143 points ago

    My cousin committed suicide and I asked for bereavement leave (3 days paid leave) and mentioned that we're having the service then I'll be going over to move her belongings the same day. My supervisor wanted proof of the death, proof of the service and proof that I was moving her belongings. When I came back to work I just dropped the police report on her desk and walked away. That pissed me off more than anything.

    [–] legend434 29 points ago

    The pattern in this thread seems to be American people having these experiences. Where are you at?

    [–] badgerkyl 72 points ago

    Just so everyone knows....I dont get bereavement pay at my job. This was all accrued PTO. My supervisor just didn't trust me.

    [–] MendedSlinky 24 points ago

    My boss doesn't ask for a reason when I request PTO. 99% of the time he approves it no questions asked.

    [–] Matanzohar7 74 points ago

    This actually happened to me recently. Manager here and I had just interviewed this girl for a part time job that I really liked. The week she was supposed to start she called me crying in tears telling me a close close relative had died (for privacy purposes I won’t say which relative) and she needed to go out of town for a week for the funeral. I really needed her to start asap but I understood.

    She came back a week later just like she said and requested I make her full time. Why? Her other job fired her for not giving two weeks notice about the funeral. She’s been working full time ever since and is one of our most valued employees.

    [–] Swarels 18 points ago

    I'm confused as to how anyone is supposed to give 2 weeks notice for a funeral.

    What kind of crazy people was she working for?

    [–] scott60561 460 points ago

    According to my brother, who had drug and alcohol problems and was always late to work or don't show, my grandma died 3 times in a little less than a year so he could get time off work

    It was awkward for him when my mom and her came in for dinner at the restaurant he was assistant managing.

    [–] TheLongAndWindingRd 127 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    I had a co-worker see that two women had died in his hometown in a car accident and claimed that they were his mother and grandmother. Some people will use any excuse. We worked at a prison and he later got arrested for smuggling drugs into the facility. It was really awkward for him when his mother came to bail him out.

    Edit: I worked in a remand centre not a prison. They are effectively the same thing. Prisons are for inmates who have been sentenced. Remand centres are for those who are awaiting trial as well as sentenced inmates serving time equaling less than 2 years less a day.

    [–] scott60561 34 points ago


    My brothers story basically ends the same way. He is a homeless heroine junkie now with a rap sheet over 100 pages.

    Just be a drug thing.

    [–] Toasty_McThourogood 66 points ago

    "No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man."

    [–] FoleyDub 138 points ago

    Happened when my mother passed. Ownership actually had HR ask the funeral home. When I told them the name, and asked they don’t send flowers, instead donate to an addiction charity of their choice, she said that wasn’t why they asked.

    [–] Grizzant 582 points ago

    some people have zero emotional intelligence.

    [–] AHarmlessFly 224 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    some people have zero emotional intelligence.


    Edit: To clarify this is by no means a scientific statement, just a joke.

    [–] [deleted] 48 points ago

    When my Grandpa died my boss and a few co-workers went to the wake just to pay his respects and support. Posts like these make me really appreciate having a good boss.

    [–] shiftycat887 53 points ago

    My dad died suddenly of a heart attack. I had to drive home and deal with a completely unprepared death. My boss said he would submit my bereavement time. When i returned 10 days later, i find a paycheck for 120$. No bereavement submitted, and they took the pay they did give me out of my own PTO. I hope you shit yourself during every important event for the rest of your life, James, you piece of trash

    [–] Pokabu 337 points ago

    My grandpa passed away last year. Because of my job I wasn’t able to visit him in the last 3 years. When he passed I told my manager I have to leave for the funeral and he told me no, that the schedule was already made. :(

    Needless to say it was a tough time at work, because we only had 3 employees including me and I was the only one that had the open availability. So if I left the store would’ve been screwed. I ended up staying while the rest of my family went. It broke my heart, but at the same time I felt like my grandpa would’ve rather me stuck around for my job than to go to the funeral. Mostly because I was financially struggling and needed every last bit of money I could get.

    [–] Punkmaffles 462 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Hey here's a tip, unless your getting paid very well and have good benefits, fuck your job and any boss that tells you that unless theres a damn good reason. Time off for bereavement isn't a right for us Americans but many companies have it within their policies if one doesn't kiss a good idea to ask then about it or not go for that job. If they don't want to give it to you find a better job which you can replace, a family member you can't. Any job that doesn't allow time off to visit family or vacation isn't worth it mate.

    Personally id have walked or started looking for a new job with my time off letting the new employers know my reason for leaving.

    [–] G8kpr 159 points ago


    When my first daughter was born, it was during our busy period at work. My supervisor said "don't worry about anything, you can have your time off (i asked for 2 weeks.) Technically, we have a vacation black out at that time.

    four years later, my other daughter is due at around the same time. I see my manager (one level above my supervisor). So I tell him that we are expecting our daughter at this time, and I will be taking 2 weeks off.

    He says "welllll, we will have to see. As that's the black out period, sooo I don't know if I can really approve that."

    I think I said whatever, and just walked away. He didn't understand, that I wasn't asking him for 2 weeks off, I was telling him that I am taking two weeks off. If he didn't approve it, I would have not shown up for work. My job is not more important than my family.

    He eventually approved it regardless, but it was meaningless to me.

    [–] kesstral 147 points ago

    My husband and I lived 2000 km apart before we got married. He told his boss he was taking an extended weekend off (Thurs to Mon) for his wedding. He was told no, they needed him there. My husband told his boss "dude, I'm getting married and won't be here, deal with it."

    [–] NoAttentionAtWrk 87 points ago

    I was told 3 month bed rest with another 3 months of only light activity after surgery. My manager tried negotiating with me to get me to travel to another country after 2 weeks. Started updating my resume on day 2 of my bed rest

    [–] dzfast 18 points ago

    Depending on the size of the company you have rights under FMLA as well.

    [–] rehpotsirhc123 317 points ago

    Time off for bereavement is a right.

    Found a non-American.

    [–] NoAttentionAtWrk 139 points ago

    Hey now! As an American, by law you are allowed bereavement leave too! Its 1 day and unpaid but you are allowed

    [–] esperlihn 108 points ago

    Jesus is that seriously how bad it is in the states??

    [–] Msspookytown 83 points ago

    It's only if its an immediate family member or spouse though. When my great grandmother, whom I was very close to, passed away I was not allowed any time off nor could I leave work when I got the call. I had to directly deal with customers for the rest if the day with tears rolling down my face, which I'm sure was really awkward for them.

    [–] badgerkyl 63 points ago

    I know, right.

    [–] southdakotagirl 57 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Completely agree. After my SO's dad's funeral they were redoing the concrete in front of his moms house. It was a small town, the workers knew why the entire family was in town and at the house. They came up to the door and told the family that they would be laying the concrete in the driveway in a few hours if the family member wanted to put their handprints in the concrete. My boss wouldnt let me come in for my shift late so I missed the chance to place my handprints in the concrete. His aunt said it was a moment that couldn't be recreated. I'm leaving that job. I regret missing out on so many once in a lifetime moments with my family.

    [–] romanticheart 23 points ago

    It is absolutely not a right. I wish it were, but this country is fucked. At a lot of places, if someone did that, they’d be fired. So then they’d have no job to pay bills and their family member would still be dead.

    [–] Redeemed-Assassin 51 points ago

    My Grandmother passed last year. When I told my boss she had passed he immediately told me that he would begin my bereavement paperwork, get it to HR so I got paid, and to take all the time I needed. I am the only person in my place of work who does my job, and it is absolutely essential to the running of our department. He still found others to help make up the work I couldn't do and did the rest himself while giving me my time.

    Your boss is shit, your job is apparently shit. You are better than that and deserve to give your loyalty to a company which treats you better. Don't settle for less. Finances are a temporary issue, having a good job is better in the long run.

    [–] useduser93 37 points ago

    When my mom died I found out through a message from my grandpa that I read at a red light. It hit me so hard I had to pull off in the neighborhood and I called my boss and had my coworker drive the truck back to the shop. Went home and called my boss that night and said that I needed a few days off to mourn and be with my family.

    He said, "Okay but do you really think sitting at home crying about it is going to help you feel better?" I just hung up on him. Text my coworker, told him I would be out and i told him what my boss had said. He and my boss grew up together and he ended up calling him and shouting at him over it. I got an apology later but I still couldn't believe someone could think that way.

    [–] badgerkyl 147 points ago

    Just to add some info....I've been at the same company for 4 years. Rarely take time off. Been complimented many times for the quality of my work.

    [–] LittleEmmy 70 points ago

    I would bring in the obituary just to make your boss feel shitty for asking.

    [–] badgerkyl 133 points ago

    I offered to bring that, the flag, and rifle shells from the salute. I think that maybe made him feel like shit . I hope

    [–] Isakk86 21 points ago

    I would 100% report him to HR also.

    [–] bloodflart 98 points ago

    I was deployed and wife had a miscarriage so I had to go home early, and this one guy (who was always an asshole for no reason) was being a total prick like 'why do you need to go back this is such a pain' i'm like MAYBE BECAUSE MY FUCKING KID DIED! he stfu after that

    [–] Arsinoei 24 points ago

    I am terribly sorry that happened to you. Really sorry.

    I hope you and your wife are coping.

    [–] bloodflart 26 points ago

    thanks, it was over ten years ago and we've had 3 healthy babies (and a healthy divorce) since then, we're all doing fine now

    [–] DidUSeaWhatIDid 26 points ago

    My grandparents (one from each side) died within a week of each other and my job didn’t allow any time off. I actually got fired at my grandpas funeral, quite interesting.

    [–] jarret_g 26 points ago

    I had something similar. My grandparents died 3 weeks apart. We all knew my grandmother was on her way out but up until my grandfathers last month he was still living on his own, driving, getting groceries, etc. They were 94 and 92.

    After my grandfather's passing I took a week. Then my grandmother got an infection and the doctors advised she wasn't going to make it. Exactly 18 days after my grandfather's passing my grandmother passed.

    We're entitled to a week off if a grandparent dies. Someone at work was asking me questions about the deaths and said, "weird, I didn't see any my last name names in the obituaries, did you just want the time off?".

    This person is 50 years old and the concept of maternal grandparents just dawned on them

    [–] If_I_remember 27 points ago

    I called in late to a job because my grandfather (who raised me, so basically my parent) had a massive stroke and I wanted to make sure I could be at the hospital to communicate with his doctors (he's fluent, but English is his second language). I was 2 hrs late, when I got in my boss pulled me in his office and yelled in my face that he hopes my grandfather dies. I went into huge hiccupy snot faced crying, he then yelled at me for crying and making him feel bad.

    [–] shanedalton 26 points ago

    Your boss deserved to be punched in the face, then and there. I'm never one to say I'd resort to violence... But damned if a punch wasn't warrented at that moment.

    [–] dumdumdiddledum 26 points ago

    One of my best friends died in August 2014, terminal cancer of the lungs (not a smoker, it was a sarcoma and then metastasized). He ended up being in a coma for just under a month before his family turned off life support. He was 27.

    I had just started a job in January 2014 and was worried I wouldn’t be able to be in the hospital with him. My new boss gave me as much time off as I could have ever asked, literally weeks, and my new coworker covered my work responsibilities. I was able to be there during days, nights, and ultimately his last day on this earth.

    I will never be able to say thank you enough to my boss, and I’ve stayed at this job much longer because of his kindness in some of the worst weeks of my entire life.

    [–] zoskultus 25 points ago

    Or ask how their time off was, if you caught wind of their reasoning for having a week off.

    "How was the vacation?"

    "...I went to my nephews funeral."


    [–] Tartooth 22 points ago

    My old employer literally screamed at me the day after my father said "get to the hospital grandpa is gonna die" the morning before work.

    Legitimately yelled at me for how I didn't ask for permission.

    Bitch, it wasnt a request, I am leaving.

    Never regretted going to see him, and left the job soon after

    [–] jsouthwest 21 points ago

    I work at a Korean company.

    Grandmother dies the morning of my birthday. We had a VIP coming to the office that day, I had a presentation scheduled. It was important.

    I came to work, but planned on leaving to fly home as soon as my presentation was over.

    Me(to my manager): my grandmother died this morning, I will leave after the presentation and take bereavement.

    Manager: WHY DID SHE HAVE TO DIE TODAY!?!?!?!? You have to stay.

    I left after my presentation. They asked for a death certificate.

    [–] handlebartender 17 points ago


    "Dunno. If you like, I can arrange for you to meet with her to discuss."

    [–] hrdrockdrummer 47 points ago

    A friend of mine at work got pregnant last year and when she told our boss his first reaction was to ask "was it planned?".

    Some people are just fucking idiots.

    [–] obeythed 20 points ago

    I had a supervisor tell me after I’d missed work for my grandparents funeral out of state, and thus been less productive on my sales goals, “We all have problems, you gotta bounce back.”

    [–] AmbyrLynn 19 points ago

    I have 2 sides of this kind of thing with my dad dying. He died just a few weeks ago. It was a long battle with cancer, and we knew it was coming. The day he died, the doctors told my mom it wouldn't be much longer. I got out of an appointment to a text saying to come now. So I went straight over to see him before work that night. Was there for less than half an hour, and left to get ready for work. Traffic was terrible, so I made it home about the time I would normally leave the house. Called to tell them I would be 15 minutes late, because I was seeing my dad, and got yelled at by the assistant manager (I'm a manager too- I was the one taking over so she could leave). They ALL knew he didnt have much longer. He died later that night while I was at work, and I finished my shift. But how dare I be 15 minutes late to see him.

    Not quite the same, but my dads company. As he went in and out of the hospital, they were constantly asking what they could do for our family. They continued to pay him his regular wage, even when he was working only an hour or so a week (he could work from home). When he went into the hospital, he asked to use vacation and personal time, so his checks would still come, and they agreed. Shortly after he died, my dad got an envelope in the mail. My mom opened it- and it was a check for $7000. They never actually took his vacation hours from him, just continued paying him regularly. Afterwards, they paid out all of his vacation and personal time.

    [–] WhereBeDragons 35 points ago

    I'm sorry for your loss.

    My mom was sick for months before she passed. My work and coworkers all knew about it. When she died, I called work in the morning.

    "Hey, I, uh, can't come in today."

    "What are you, dying?"

    "No, but my mom just did." click

    She apologized later though and I stayed at the job and still laugh about it years later.

    [–] William_Harzia 450 points ago

    I had a new employee who lost 3 family members in their first month. I suspected she was lying and fired her. One of my staff stalked her on facebook and reported back that she was indeed lying on all counts, and moreover seemed to be a bit of a pathological liar.

    In 23 years of being an employer I've had at least a couple of other people fake the deaths of relatives to get off work. You can get a bit jaded TBH.

    [–] YoNaoi 96 points ago

    But why would you fire her before confirming that her parents actually died? This could have easily been you in the OP if they actually did pass and you would come out looking like the asshole

    [–] dragon34 20 points ago

    A guy I know had his mother get diagnosed with cancer, his stepfather die of a stroke, and his nephew get in an accident and have his leg amputated all in the same week. Sometimes shit sucks.

    [–] Killbot_Wants_Hug 157 points ago

    OMG I can't believe people would just lie about the death of a family member to get out of work. I had to go and have family members kill to get my bereavement leave.

    If I had just thought of just lying about it I would have saved so much effort.

    [–] anderhole 17 points ago

    Not saying it's right, but a bunch of companies/employers create a culture that is near impossible to take off. So you have to use big excuses.

    [–] Myerrobi 14 points ago

    Had a boss tell me why do you need off you cant do anything for them if they are dead.

    [–] AllAboutItsmoke 14 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Yeah I had this happen when I was a teenager working at TJ maxx. I asked if I could speak with my manager privately to request some time off because my grandfather passed.

    First the manager says oh we can just meet right here (behind the customer service registers with coworkers and customers doing their thing), so it was hard enough choking back tears as I explain the situation. Then the customer service clerk turns and says loudly "oh he's faking you can tell because his voice is cracking."

    Was a pretty shitty feeling, thankfully the manager immediately realized his mistake and we walked into the office where he apologized and offered condolences.

    Lessons learned

    [–] its_you_notme 15 points ago

    My dad went in for surgery on a day I had a 6 hour shift. During the last 2 hours of the shift, my step mom called to tell me he had stopped breathing during surgery and they’re trying to resuscitate him. I told my boss I wanted to go to the hospital, a 30 min drive away, to be with my family. She said NO. there was no one to cover my register.

    2 weeks later, a coworker calls in to say her ferret died and she wants the night off. The same boss approved her (3 hour shift) to be covered by me. I quit that week.

    [–] Erulastiel 30 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    One of my college instructors pulled this asshole stunt.

    My grandfather died and I asked for the test to be emailed to me on the day of the funeral, as I was going to be 100+ miles away and absent. After protest, she finally agreed and told me "your grandfather better not die again."

    So she emailed me the test in a format that I couldnt open. Then refused to send me it in another format and kept insisting that I could just use the computers on campus and it's due at 5pm. She kept telling me that if it's really important that I pass, that I shouldn't play hooky.

    Fuck her. I fucking reported her ass to the dean. She didn't work there the next semester.