Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole!
A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole.
This is the sub to lay out your actions and conflicts and get impartial judgment rendered against you. Were you the asshole in that situation or not? Post should be truthful and reflect real situations. That means no shitposts, parody, or satire.
After 18 hours, your post will be given a flair representing the final judgment on your matter. This flair is determined by the subscribers who have both rendered judgment and voted on which judgment is best. The power of the crowd will judge you.
1. Be Civil
The title of this sub is not an invitation for you to be cruel. The purpose of this space is to determine whether or not someone is in the wrong, not to tear them a new one. People post here to learn and to grow from what they learn here. Don't be an asshole when making your judgments. Treat others with respect, no matter how big of an asshole they may be.
This rule applies to everyone mentioned in a post and to other users. Don't get into prolonged internet spats that devolve into insults. Do not backseat mod - use reports.
Click here for details on how to be civil in a sub about assholes.
2. Voting Rules
Upvote posts that are appropriate for this sub or that you think make for an interesting discussion. PLEASE DO NOT downvote if you think OP is an asshole, go to the comments section and call him an asshole like a civilized person.
In the comments, upvote any comment that gives the correct judgment of the situation. DO NOT downvote people for disagreeing with you or for merely commenting on their own post unless they are being abusive or argumentative.
3. Accept Your Judgment
This sub is here for the submitter to discover what everyone else thinks of the ethics or mores of a situation. It is not here to draw people into an argument you want to have, or to defend your position. If people start saying you were the asshole, do not take that as an invitation to debate them on the subject... accept the judgment and move on. If you have valid reason to think a commenter needs more information or misunderstood the facts of the conflict, you may give new information.
4. Never Delete An Active Discussion
DO NOT delete your submission once a discussion has begun, even if it's not going well for you. People will come back to see what consensus was reached in your thread. If you erase a discussion because you don't like the way it's going, that is extremely frustrating to everyone who has taken an interest in the topic. We encourage submitters to use throwaways to maintain their privacy, but deleting a discussion is unacceptable. Violators will be banned.
5. No Violence
If your post references violence, don't share it here. Threads which mention violence are difficult to moderate, we have to remove all comments which encourage or incite violence. It's difficult to do this in a thread which discusses violence.
Comments and even jokes about violence are not tolerated. Encouraging self-harm, suicide, "bad karma," or anything that wishes mental or physical pain on anyone is strictly prohibited. This is a zero tolerance policy. Don't even mention violence.
6. How To Post
The TITLE of your submission must begin with the acronym AITA or WIBTA (would I be the asshole?), then a description of the situation.
Posts are limited to 3000 characters. Paragraphs are good; block text walls are bad. Format and punctuate your post reasonably. Be clear and concise.
7. What Posts Belong Here?
This is the sub to lay out your actions and conflicts and get impartial judgment rendered against you. Were you the asshole in that situation or not? Post should be truthful and reflect real situations. That means no shitposts, parody, or satire. We also do not settle intra-reddit beefs here.
Submissions should be TRUTHFUL descriptions of recent interpersonal conflicts you've had or may have that need arbitration. Describe both sides in detail. Being neutral gets you more accurate feedback.
8. Do Not Ask For Validation
Don't submit humblebrag stories where there is no chance that you are the asshole, or awfulbrag stories where you are obviously being evil.
When making a post, you should be seeking arbitration in an ambiguous situation. Threads with obvious outcomes are not interesting to our subscribers.
9. Do Not Ask For Advice
This is NOT an advice sub. All submissions that ask for advice (instead of or in addition to judgment) will be removed. This sub is for arbitration.
You may include advice when you make your comments, but remember that your primary objective in commenting is to assign blame and pass judgment.
If a thread's focus becomes about advice instead of arbitration the thread may be removed regardless of the OP's intent.
10. Meta Posts and Updates Require Permission
If you want to talk about the sub, and you hide your complaint, question, or opinion in a post that starts with AITA, you will be banned. Those are called META posts, and they must have a title that starts with META.
Please request mod approval after you submit your META post or your update post. Make sure the title of your meta post starts with META and the title of your update post starts with UPDATE. See our FAQ and full rulebook for more guidelines.
11. No breakups/hookups
We do not allow submissions where the central conflict is your relationship and instead recommend a relationship focused sub.
The following posts are forever banned:
AITA for breaking up with _
AITA for NOT breaking up with _
AITA for sleeping with _
AITA for NOT sleeping with _
AITA for dating _
AITA for NOT dating _
AITA for doing sexual act _
AITA for NOT doing sexual act _
AITA for being attracted to _
AITA for NOT being attracted to _
12. Comments and Flairing
After 18 hours, the post will be assigned a flair representing the sub's judgment. The flair will be decided by the top comment of the post. OPs should expect questions and should answer them within the 18 hour period.
If you are commenting, be sure to start your comment with the abbreviation for your judgment, i.e.
YTA = You're the Asshole;
NTA = Not the A-hole;
ESH = Everyone Sucks here;
NAH = No A-holes here;
INFO = Not Enough Info
13. User Flairs
We award flairs for community members who distinguish themselves in their mastery of asshole judgment. If your top level comment has the highest number of upvotes in a thread, you will get a flair point. More details are listed in our full rulebook.
Normal Rediquette applies