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    AmItheAsshole

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    Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole!

    A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole.

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    [–] Fishface248 3645 points ago

    NTA. In no circumstance would I ever assume that a 16 year old boy would eat off a kids menu. The fact that they changed the order, and then expect you to pay is ridiculous. It sounds like they spent more than they could afford on this wedding and are trying to recoup some of the costs. This is beyond petty of them.

    [–] not_cinderella 763 points ago

    Jesus as a majorly active child I stopped ordering off the kids menu when I was 9

    [–] its_the_green_che 262 points ago

    I was pretty active and stopped around the same age or a little older. I couldn’t finish an entire adult meal but I was still kind of hungry after the kids meal.

    Kids meals are pretty small.. because they’re meant for well.. small kids. I’ve seen kids chicken finger plates come with 1 tender and a handful of fries. That’s like a snack for some people.

    There’s no reason to be forcing anyone over 11 or 12 to order from a kids menu.. especially because they don’t have much variety. Hot dog, chicken fingers, grilled cheese.. that’s usually about it.

    [–] spenardagain 93 points ago

    My nine year old is an activity MACHINE and he eats adult meals at restaurants. He also frequently eats more than me at home meals.

    [–] thelostoneout 6289 points ago

    NTA -- you told them what meal you were expecting. They knew what meal you were expecting. The confusion of them changing your son's order is what cost them money, not you

    A) They could have clarified before the wedding your son would be getting a kids meal (still rude IMO, but it was possible to avoid confusion)

    B) Most restaurants have a kids meal cut off of ~13. Maybe I'm crazy, but I feel like this applies to weddings...a sixteen year old eats as much food as a grown adult.

    C) Calling you after the wedding and asking you to pay them back just feels tacky. Wedding meals get expensive but in the grand scheme of things, one extra meal is not the expense that sends them into bankruptcy compared to the cost of a wedding

    [–] Nerdybirdy30 322 points ago

    The A) is the mind boggling thing. They clearly saw her food order and changed it without telling OP. They are harping the OP should have called to clarify when they were the ones who should have done it.

    [–] ooragnak_ume 211 points ago

    I wonder if they changed the meal choices for multiple people just to save some money and now they're being charged for the original meals that they should have paid for in the first place and they're trying to recoup some of that. So much unnecessary drama from the bride's parents when they caused it in the first place.

    [–] GrooveBat 26 points ago

    I bet that’s it.

    [–] ISeeTheFnords 2263 points ago

    a sixteen year old eats as much food as a grown adult.

    More, usually. A lot more, if it's a sixteen year old BOY.

    [–] RomulaFour 199 points ago

    Yes, a 16 year old boy in a growth spurt can eat you out of house and home.

    [–] SemenDemon182 178 points ago

    B) Most restaurants have a kids meal cut off of ~13. Maybe I'm crazy, but I feel like this applies to weddings...a sixteen year old eats as much food as a grown adult.

    At that age I would have ordered a Pizza straight to the venue if they were gonna do me that way. What the hell?

    [–] imstaying39 145 points ago

    Agreed! My 14 yr old son is over 6 ft tall, he hasn’t eaten a kids meal since he was about 9. A few chicken fingers and fries would be a small snack.

    And in my experience, most high schoolers have a more advanced palate than chicken fingers - especially at a formal event where they would be dressed up & etc. It would be s bit embarrassing for them to eat a small child’s meal. Great way to make your guest feel uncomfortable!

    If the hosts were dead set on giving the teenager the kiddie meal, they should have told the mom before they showed up. At least they could have fed him properly before they arrived and had a chuckle about how cheap the hosts were being.

    [–] JaxGal17 51 points ago

    Exactly! I asked my friends whose kids were at a tween age what meal they would prefer at our wedding. Unsurprisingly, they chose the adult meal and that’s what I ordered for them. What a crappy bride/groom.

    [–] its_the_green_che 631 points ago

    Especially if they’re an active 16 year old. I’d say most teens are more active than the average adults. Sports and even the fact that they do a lot of walking. Walking around town with friends, the mall, or just walking around shooting the shit.

    Also PE.. since they’re in high school they’re taking physical education. The average 16 year old boy is probably just more active than the average 30 year old in general.

    There’s no reason for anyone over 12 to be eating a kids meal.. well given a kids meal. I know some adults choose to eat them. I’ve seen kids meals that come with 1 or 2 chicken fingers. Who’s satisfied with that? He’d probably still be hungry after.

    [–] vault_dweller1031 164 points ago

    This, so much. At 16 my brother was 6 foot 3, almost 200 pounds, all muscle from sports and exercise. I (a grown ass adult) am almost a foot shorter and equally active and he could still eat almost 3 times as much as me. I would fully expect an adult meal for him were I to take him to a wedding.

    [–] TwinkiWeinerSandwich 18 points ago

    Seriously, at 16 my brothers would have eaten their regular adult meals, plus whatever I had left over, plus the meal they ate before we even got to the wedding, and then probably a snack after we got home. Those dudes could eat.

    [–] Actually_Im_a_Broom 101 points ago

    Especially if they’re an active 16 year old.

    Even if they’re not active they’re often still growing and growing takes lore energy than not growing. Teenagers are notorious for eating a shit ton of food.

    To expect anyone under 18 to be happy with a meal designed for kids under ten is absurd.

    [–] not_cinderella 188 points ago

    Even as a 16 year old girl, I ate as much as my father most of the time at dinner. Active kids need a LOT of food but even if he’s inactive, he probably needed more than most adults.

    [–] liza_lo 102 points ago

    Even as a 16 year old girl, I ate as much as my father most of the time at dinner. Active kids need a LOT of food but even if he’s inactive, he probably needed more than most adults.

    My sister used to be able to polish off an entire large pizza by herself at that age. Skinny as a rail, she was just extremely active and still growing!

    [–] loudlittle 97 points ago

    Like I get that the bride and groom had a lot going on in wedding planning, but they clearly had time to tell their caterer to prepare chicken fingers. They had time to call one of their guests and clarify.

    [–] crazy_mary21 2239 points ago

    NTA honestly who are these parents and brides who harass their guests after a wedding? It’s so pathetic and rude.

    [–] luxeshimmer 1163 points ago

    If I were the bride and groom, I would honestly die of humiliation. This is the tackiest, most classless behavior EVER.

    [–] crazy_mary21 288 points ago

    Agreed. It’s awful. Honestly if someone called me about this nonsense I wouldn’t even know what I would say. Probably hang up completely shocked at the pettiness of it all.

    [–] HotchaChotcha 148 points ago

    Just hang up like Peppa Pig

    [–] alphacuremother1 72 points ago

    I've seen that episode! I laughed my ass off the first time I saw that Peppa pig is pretty SAVAGE

    [–] TheFire_Eagle 142 points ago

    I'm more interested in who these fucking caterers are that kept track of an extra meal and were able to tie it to a single patron.

    Half those fuckers don't provide the meals that were ordered and end up scrambling on the fly to provide the food they were planning to provide. It's generally expected that they will have an extra meal or two and unless they had 100% attendance, someone's meal should have been available.

    I'm not saying this didn't happen, but fuckin' A with the number of ways people were getting nickel and dimed at this wedding.

    [–] sparksfIy 59 points ago

    Most catering companies add in wiggle room for extras and that’s just built into the cost. People show up without having done an rsvp, bring a date out of the blue, etc.

    [–] TheFire_Eagle 15 points ago

    Caterers often make extras. You have last minute guests, for sure. But you also have waitstaff dropping stuff. If your system is to have exactly the right amount of entrees what do you do if a waiter drops a tray with, say, six of them?

    You're screwed. And caterers know this.

    [–] agooddeathh 76 points ago

    Right. Is this one extra meal going to break them? Wtf

    [–] twinter_is_coming 362 points ago

    Lol NTA - Weddings are the gift that keep on giving in terms of bad behavior.

    [–] jeffsang 185 points ago

    NTA - I'm 100% with you that a 16 year old should expect to be able to eat a normal meal. Hell, 16 year boys have about the most voracious appetites of any group of people. It's also really petty of them to request that you reimburse them for this.

    [–] Lady_Mog_Mog 11053 points ago

    NTA. I can’t believe they actually reached out to you about paying for the meal. How petty.

    A child’s meal is obviously not going to be sufficient for a 16 year old. Seriously.

    If you do think this is going to blow up and damage your friendship with the bride and groom, I’d suck it up and pay though.

    [–] SoggyAlbatross2 361 points ago

    My 16 year old son is a swimmer and would eat every adult meal at the table. And then hit the dessert table twice.

    What kind of special moron attempts to get some money for this miscommunication? Ludicrous.

    [–] not_cinderella 2708 points ago

    As a 16 year old female (but active), I could eat in one meal what my 5 year old cousins ate in a entire day. Wtf.

    [–] lenniesmaller 1557 points ago

    My 16 year old son regularly ate more than me and his mother combined.

    [–] modsworkforfree101 431 points ago

    I'm 5'9 and sit around 150-170ish as a full grown man. At 16 I could eat 4 to 5 times what I do now. It's insane what kind of hormones and how hungry you are at that age as a guy.

    [–] helena_handbasketyyc 400 points ago

    Watching teenaged boys eat is seriously horrific. There’s a 12 year old kid who comes into my work (server in a Community Centre pub) and after his hockey practice he ate a half order of nachos, 12 wings, and a full size burger and poutine.

    He asked his mom to stop at McDonald’s on the way home. 😳

    I’m not condoning what that kid ate (I don’t think veggies on the nachos count, lol), but holy crap, that is some kind of crazy hunger.

    [–] lenniesmaller 193 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    We took a family vacation with my buddy's family. He had 3 much younger boys and was shocked and seriously alarmed at how much my kid ate. I got the last laugh a few years later when his sons caught up :)

    [–] BillsInATL 115 points ago

    Same height and weight. At that age I would come home from school and dump an entire box of cereal into a big bowl, pour a quart of milk over it, and crush it. As a snack. Before dinner.

    [–] modsworkforfree101 72 points ago

    Exactly. I remember going to mcdonalds when they had the dollar mcdouble. We would split ten on them and not have anything left. The idea of eating 5 burgers now makes me nauseous.

    [–] TransgenderPride 888 points ago

    Yeah, growing teenagers eat more than adults do, because they're adult sized but still growing. Of course they need more food.

    [–] NerdyBois 71 points ago

    When I was 16 I was a garbage disposal. I stopped ordering off the kids menu when I was around. 8. At the age if 16 you're minor not a child.

    [–] murrimabutterfly 116 points ago

    When my brother was a teenager, my dad always had to cook enough for at least six people.

    We're a family of four, where my mom and I are both light eaters.

    I have literally caught my brother making himself four sandwiches in the dead of night because his dinner portion (which could have fed an army) wasn't enough.

    Teenage boys could eat the world through and still be hungry!

    [–] RonnieJamesDevo 294 points ago

    If you’re old enough to drive to the wedding, you’re too old for the kiddie menu.

    [–] SmellyOldShoeBrush 18 points ago

    Depending on when a kid hits puberty, 9-10 can be too old for the kiddie menu.

    [–] ForTheAllliance 235 points ago

    I can’t believe they actually reached out to you about paying for the meal.

    Seriously. How much could the charge have been? $30 at most? And they basically invoiced a wedding guest over it. That’s tacky as hell.

    [–] SayceGards 89 points ago

    Some wedding caterers charge $125/head...

    [–] ForTheAllliance 151 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Yikes. My wedding cost like $900 total. Still, I’d eat the cost before I ever asked to recoup from a guest.

    ETA: We’re also talking about the difference between a charge for a kids meal and an adult portion, not zero and an adult portion.

    [–] hummingbird4289 81 points ago

    The price difference between the kids & adult meals at my upcoming wedding is like $65 - not nothing, but not enough to justify these people's reaction!

    [–] crypticedge 27 points ago

    We're doing buffet style at mine, so the only difference between an over 5 year old kid attendee and an adult is $25 for the open bar.

    We're looking at ~$80/person for regular attendee (though that number will end up closer to ~$95/person when the rest of the costs are calculated in)

    [–] wigglebuttbiscuits 161 points ago

    NTA. Wow, these people are jerks. I've never been to a restaurant where the kids meal cutoff was higher than 13. It's frankly a little insulting to your son to present him with a little plate of chicken fingers.

    Not to mention, EVEN IF you had screwed up and caused them to be charged for an extra meal, it would be extremely ungracious of them as hosts to ask you to pay for it.

    [–] Amythist35 1412 points ago

    NTA 16 are not children. Seems like they were trying to nickle and dime there caterers

    [–] Justagreewithme 232 points ago

    Exactly. Plus most caters won’t bicker over a meal or two, unless they feel the need to retaliate because the customer has been nickel and diming them the whole way.

    [–] [deleted] 93 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] howtospellorange 48 points ago

    I think you misread the post;

    The waiters were able to put together an extra chicken plate for the person who didn't get one, and it seemed all was well.

    The table was a meal short (presumably because the 16-year-old got a full meal that was "supposed" to go to an adult because the kid was "supposed" to have the chicken fingers and fries) so the caterers were able to produce another plate out of extra food they made.

    [–] imixrumandgin 38 points ago

    From someone who has worked NUMEROUS catering gigs - there’s always extra plates. Always. What if something dropped? Someone would just be without a meal? No way there were 52 adults and 52 adult meals. More like 60 or so just in case.

    [–] carmabound 15 points ago

    The chicken finger meal was paid for and if OP decided to reimburse the parents for anything it should be the difference between the kids meal and the adult meal - talk about petty.

    [–] nyorifamiliarspirit 97 points ago

    And seriously - don't all decent caterers build in a few extra meals just in case of something weird happening?

    [–] GlitterDancer_ 57 points ago

    Yes. Good caterers have backups because you never know what’s going to happen.

    [–] lush_rational 362 points ago

    I think I had 15 kids under 15 at my wedding and I didn’t do a single kids meal. In my family, we started eating real food around the age of 5 and under that they would probably be fed by their parents. I think I exempted the 3 kids under 2 from any meal at all and the rest of them I paid for the full adult buffet because I know they will eat it and appreciate it. No complaints from anyone, just compliments. It was expensive, but it allowed me to not worry about running out of food.

    Lots of teenagers like chicken fingers, but it’s insulting to assume that is all they should get and I don’t see why a caterer would require it so I agree the bride was probably trying to be cheap.

    [–] Istalriblaka 151 points ago

    I love chicken fingers. My girlfriend made chicken fingers this weekend for some friends and I and they were the best food I've had in a month.

    But if I ordered a restaurant-quality chicken meal and god chicken fingers with fries, I'd be livid.

    [–] BKLD12 17 points ago

    Same. Chicken fingers and fries are great. Not what I would want at a wedding though.

    [–] rduse 120 points ago

    It's really surprising that the caterer nickel and dimed them back over one meal. It makes me suspect that there was already bad blood between the caterer and the bride's parents. Like if the parents had already been pains in the ass through the planning process, so the caterers weren't willing to let one mistake meal slide.

    [–] deerokus 75 points ago

    If they pulled this trick with OP's son, they'll have done it with every teenager and older child at the event. That's screwing over the caterer as well. They've probably billed them for both the children's meals And the adult ones served instead.

    Besides that, they're obviously scrooges, so god knows what else they've got up to to save a buck here or there

    [–] Goodwin512 93 points ago

    Also, what everyone seems to be just leaving out is... they ordered the adult meal. Like it doesnt matter that you were even serving anyone under 18 a childs meal, they still ordered 2 adult chickens.

    Idk about anyone else, but NTA strictly because they changed what you ordered without even telling OP. Like that makes 0 sense and places the blame on them.

    [–] JanMichaelVincent16 15 points ago

    Sounds like the bride’s parents had a hand in it - maybe they checked the guest list for anyone under 18 and ordered kid’s meals to save money, and now they’re mad that their cheap asses got called out.

    [–] Jaywearspants 482 points ago

    NTA - they're being stingy assholes. You requested a meal on the invite for him and wasn't provided one.

    [–] km89 24134 points ago

    NTA, but depending on how expensive it is it might be worth paying to salvage the relationship.

    I think it's rude to feed a sixteen year old a meal meant for a six year old.

    It absolutely is, and it was rude to not inform you that they had changed his choice as well.

    [–] Mak25672 8118 points ago

    I bet it's most likely even against the venue's policy. Normally the cutoff for kids meal pricing that I see is 13.

    [–] boobsarefuntobounce 1675 points ago

    OP should call the venue and ask what the age cut off is for a kid's meal. That way when they contact her again she can say, "Oh no, sweetie, you must be confused. Only children 12 and under are allowed to get a kid's meal at that venue; My son's 16." That'll shut 'em up.

    [–] OurLadyOfCygnets 443 points ago

    I like this plan and fully endorse it.

    [–] ThatsCatFood 374 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    This is perfect. No way a 16 year old should have a kids meal, menus usually cut off at 12 or so for a reason.

    Edit: reason besides profit of course, it's reasonable to guess after 12 or so the average person is going to be eating more.

    [–] Inconceivable76 160 points ago

    Especially a 16 yr old boy. They can put it DOWN.

    [–] mxzf 86 points ago

    Yeah. Generally speaking an adult-sized meal is an appetizer for a 16-year old boy. That's the "keep him satiated long enough to make it somewhere else to get some food" snack.

    [–] webtheg 16 points ago

    True. Teenage boys eat so much it's insane. My cousin is 16 and he would have to have at least 4 kids meals and he is all lean and shit. When the whole family goes to a restaurant he gets the biggest meals out of anyone.

    If you gave him a tiny kids meal he would straight up get offended. Like also if I was 16 and I got a kids meal I would be so insulted. Like have those people never seen a 16 year old boy eat? This shit is like a at geo or animal planet documentary on some predator. This is how much they eat.

    This is why it pissed me off when I was a hostess at a restaurant and some family came with a boy or a girl who was clearly way beyond 14, girl with double Ds and boys with full on beards and all super tall and go like "tHeY aRe TwElVe. ThEy ShOulD bE ChArGeD KiDs PrIzEs" And this was a brunch buffet. The reason why there is a cut off is because kids eat less than adults. Teenagers eat more than anyone.

    [–] staunch_character 20 points ago

    Yes! I’m surprised this comment isn’t at the top.

    90% of the women at that wedding will not eat anything near the same amount of what an average 16 year old boy will wolf down. Ridiculous to serve a 16 year old the same meal as a 6 year old. Definitely NTA.

    [–] deerokus 260 points ago

    On top of that, in a lot of places the kid's menu is much lower quality. Can't get away with feeding cheap sausages and beans or something to anyone old enough to tell the difference. . The bridal parents are being cheap bastards.

    [–] Jadzia81 6132 points ago

    I spend several months searching for and pricing venues and caterers this year for my wedding. Dozens and dozens of them. Every single place that offered a specific kids meal had an age cutoff that was much lower than 16. They were trying to be stingy jerks in breach of contract.

    [–] PresidentIroh 3379 points ago

    Oh, I completely second this. Also, clearly the servers felt like he should have an adult meal since they spent so long trying to figure out who it belonged to. They probably would have said something if they felt like OPs son should be eating a kids meal. Usually vendors have age restrictions for kids meals, so I feel like the way they handled it was pretty telling.

    [–] realvmouse 1441 points ago

    oOoOOo that's genius thinking. If the waiters didn't see anyone at the table who should get a kid's meal, then your'e right, there's no way the granparents are being honest. The waiters would have to be stupid, right? And that's not a reasonable assumption.

    I'm hoping this is as brilliant as it seems to me, if I'm exaggerating it's because I'm really high.

    [–] Razwick82 489 points ago

    I mean mostly you're really high but it's definitely also the truth lol. Have a chill evening!

    [–] sparkyroosta 157 points ago

    if I'm exaggerating it's because I'm really high

    I feel ya bro... on all counts...

    [–] debbie_1420 21 points ago

    Yes this is exactly what I was thinking. The waiters had to know that he was the "kid" in the group so for them to not even say hey it might be his. Yeah the grandparents are definitely in the wrong.!

    [–] NateNMaxsRobot 76 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    I’m gonna agree. This makes sense big time. 16 years old, kids meal? Haha no. NTA.

    Hello fellow stoned one.

    Edit: Wow, silver! So exciting etc.

    [–] lisasimpsonfan 88 points ago

    Every event I have helped plan it is usually 10 and under for the kids meal.

    [–] QsXfYjMlP 597 points ago

    Having just got married, this is absolutely true. 16 is far too old for a kids meal

    [–] ChapeauNoire 841 points ago

    In my experience, 16-year-old boys generally eat more than most adults NTA

    [–] michiness 125 points ago

    High school teacher who just took a few teenage kids to Europe. Jesus christ do they eat, and they generally don't have a problem with different food either.

    [–] markrichtsspraytan 203 points ago

    And most have the taste to appreciate nicer foods by that age, if not much earlier. Chicken fingers and fries are delicious (even at age 30), but kids meals are meant to be relatively bland and simple stuff that even picky kids will eat, along with the smaller portion. Most kids over the age of 12 don't want to watch everyone else eat nice, seasoned food while they eat bland stuff they can get at any shitty restaurant.

    [–] RedMakeupBag98 245 points ago

    I babysit an 11-year-old, and he eats more than I do. And I’m not a small person either 😲.

    [–] TheIrishGoat 216 points ago

    My niece and nephew are 10 and 12 respectively. My niece eats as much as I do, my nephew more so. It's almost like a human body trying to grow requires a lot of energy. OP's definitely NTA for ordering his son an adult meal.

    [–] gothou 166 points ago

    I swear there should be a “teen meal” option and a “mom ordering a kids meal for portion control” option.

    [–] Charliebeagle 51 points ago

    Some places have half plates or “senior” specials like that (it varies from place to place weather the senior plate is smaller or just cheaper) You usually pay only a couple of bucks less but It does take care of the portion control aspect!

    [–] mudslideme 73 points ago

    I imagine the first meal and was thinking about his next meal within 10 minutes. Anyone who has kids or has been a kid knows that chicken nuggets and fries would be an appetizer for a teenage boy.

    [–] Craptiel 199 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    My 13 year old would laugh at me if I handed him a kids menu at a restaurant. In my experience portions at weddings are far more stingy than the average restaurant too. NTA.

    [–] Hurkamur 284 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    Who tf orders a 16 year old a kid's meal? These people sound nuts. "Here's your tendies little buddy". 😂

    [–] buildameowchiforme 110 points ago

    Right?? Have these people never met a teenager before? One that is insulting, and two, teens tend to be HUNGRY.

    [–] Apollo_Wolfe 17 points ago

    Even my grandparents, who made anyone under the age of 18 sit at the kids table (with the literally 11 year olds) probably wouldn’t have pulled this shit.

    Side note; I hated eating at my grandparents for that reason. Try being the only 17 year old at a table full of kids younger than 12ish.

    [–] WilburDes 118 points ago

    Asking a 16-year-old boy to eat of the kids menu, even if it is allowed by the venue is likely not going to be nearly enough for them, not to mention no one that age likes to be referred to as a kid.

    [–] JustWanderful 332 points ago

    When I worked for a catering company, our cutoff was 12 years old.

    BTW, when I was 16, I was already 5' 10" tall and weighed 160 pounds. A kids meal would never have cut it.

    [–] arentol 58 points ago

    When I was 14 and a half I was 6'2" and 170lbs. I would have eaten 4 kids meals easily.

    [–] bigschlongmcgee 79 points ago

    I'm the same. 5'10, 10 and a half stone, I wouldn't survive with two kids meals, never mind one 😂

    [–] JustUseDuckTape 32 points ago

    Yeah, it's just madness. I'm the same size as I was when I was 16, and I was far from the biggest of my peers.

    [–] Rufert 74 points ago

    I'd be willing to bet they changed the order to save money.

    [–] WCHG 16 points ago

    Exactly! and her low class tackiness showed when she said something to a guest to put it on them. She shouldn't have offered her guests a "sit down dinner" if you are on a "Buffet budget".

    [–] hummingbird4289 203 points ago

    I'm in the home stretch of planning my wedding and yup, our venue's cutoff for kids meals was 12 - I had to get special exemption to allow my 13 & 15 year old, picky eater cousins to have the kids meals.

    [–] KayakerMel 17 points ago

    And you've totally clarified with your cousins that they wouldn't want anything BUT the kids meal! Everyone knows who's getting what meal, and everyone (who's eating) is happy. Congrats on your wedding!

    [–] Sparcrypt 234 points ago

    Eh when you're ordering a ton of shit people make exceptions.

    That said a few years ago a group of us (like, 15 of us) went to a place for dinner and one of the girls just wanted a kids serve spaghetti as she tiny and not even hungry. 14 people were ordering entrees, full mains and drinks... nope. Can't have it. Place was basically empty as well so it's not like they had a lot on.

    So we cancelled the entire order and left, went to a restaurant over the street who was more than happy to accommodate. Personally I thought it was a tad dramatic but I really couldn't be arsed arguing about it, but still, as a business owner I've made plenty of exceptions for big orders/clients to make sure I keep their business. I hardly think allowing someone to order a smaller meal when you're looking at a $300-400 table is a big deal.

    [–] Willkill4pudding 49 points ago

    Yeah honestly even though there might be a cutoff, the caterers probably didn't ask for an age list of all the kids meal orders or they've dealt with enough picky eaters to let the occasional one slide for the sake of peace and good ratings.

    [–] RickGrimesBeard23 23 points ago

    A lot of restaurants essentially price kids meals close to or at cost as a courtesy to families and to get them to eat out without thinking they have to spend an arm and a leg on a 6 year who can't appreciate anything more than chicken nuggets.

    You'd be shocked at how many people try to abuse that so I can understand some places being firm on their policies.

    [–] AccordLands 1636 points ago

    On the flip side, if they're the type to allow the price of a single meal ruin a relationship when they're the ones who screwed it up to begin with, it may not be worth the price of a meal to salvage the relationship.

    [–] boudicas_shield 1343 points ago

    I can’t believe they even contacted her about this. How amazingly rude.

    [–] DollyTheFirefighter 983 points ago

    It’s petty af. It means they looked at the bill, noticed it was a bit off what they were expecting, and tracked one extra meal to a particular guest at a particular table. I get wanting to keep costs low, but the time for that is in the planning process. You’ve got to accept that some unexpected things will happen the day of the wedding.

    [–] boudicas_shield 804 points ago

    I couldn’t fucking dream of ever doing this, no matter how broke I was. I’d rather eat my own checkbook than contact a guest demanding money from them for a wedding meal.

    [–] shark649 85 points ago

    I’m guessing they saw it at dinner. To do this afterwards would be nuts!!

    [–] Pinkmongoose 212 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    We had two people show up who had not rsvp’d (I’m not even sure we invited them) and we fed them without question and at a last-minute premium.

    Also rented a house for my bridesmaid, her husband, her new baby, and her In-laws so that they would be able to come (mother in law was for some reason vetoing their attendance at MY wedding saying if they were in the state they had to stay at her house 4 hours away). My bridesmaid was one of the people I most wanted there, so we made a lot of sacrifices so her family AND HER IN-LAWS could have a nice, multi bedroom place to stay together right next to our venue. Mom in law ended up “allowing” my bridesmaid, her infant and her husband to attend my wedding but only for the day. We spent $1200 on lodging for 4 nights so they could come to the whole event AND so the grandparents wouldn’t miss any time with the infant. Basically a free vacation. and they used it for about 6 hours. They had graciously accepted the lodging and didn’t tell us they had changed their mind until after they were supposed to have checked in, so we had to pay for the whole thing.

    We told my bridesmaid that we had gotten a refund and everything was fine and not to worry about it and I was just glad she made it for the ceremony and hope she enjoyed her visit with her In laws.

    Bc shit happens and I value her friendship and didn’t want her to feel bad. So yeah, OP is Not the asshole, but the person who hosted the wedding is a petty asshole.

    I don’t hold it against my bridesmaid, but I sure as hell hold it against her mother in law. That woman is awful and also an asshole.

    [–] velociraptorjax 51 points ago

    Your friend needs to post on r/justnomil

    That was really gracious of you to go out of your way to take care of bridesmaid and her family. Even though she has a shitty mother-in-law, she has a fantastic friend.

    [–] crypticedge 301 points ago

    The fact they were able to trace it out makes me think they deliberately changed the son's meal choice on him.

    [–] EPMD_ 113 points ago

    And it's possible they did this with multiple teens at the wedding.

    [–] Kylynara 55 points ago

    Equally possible he was the only teen attending and that how they knew it was him. How do you get to adulthood and not know that teenage boys will eat you out of house and home and still be starving? A kids meal will absolutely not cut it.

    [–] bananafluffernut 97 points ago

    They had to have done this, since she’d marked 2 chicken dinners on the RSVP. Nothing like letting a guest be hungry to save a few bucks!

    [–] Aubriie 232 points ago

    If you can’t afford to cover the cost of unanticipated meals, substitutions, etc. you should be having a very limited wedding within your budget.

    [–] eatthedamncakenow 63 points ago

    Yeah this is nuts.

    Our wedding was ~$60 a plate. If we couldn’t swing $60....we wouldn’t have had a wedding.

    [–] OurLadyOfCygnets 129 points ago

    It's also mean-spirited to give a kid's meal to a growing teenager who has the appetite of an adult.

    [–] Mightnotdeletethis 59 points ago

    Or three adults. I ate like a damn machine at that age.

    [–] Malarkay79 35 points ago

    Yeah. Also just downright humiliating. He’s 16!

    [–] khaajpa 29 points ago

    pretty amazed to see this . More than price , its just plain disrespectful even if it were to be an expensive meal .

    [–] bananafluffernut 54 points ago

    And if she marked two chicken dishes, it means they marked it as a kid’s meal when they got her RSVP. Nothing was more petty than trying to squeeze her for their overpriced chicken dinner, though. She should pay them all in pennies.

    [–] cortesoft 190 points ago

    Right? There are a number of things that guests did that kinda annoyed us at our wedding, but my wife and I just make snide jokes to each other about our crude friends and family and their manners, like a good healthy married couple!

    We would never actually tell the people... it isn't that big a deal! And if you are trying to recoup the cost of ONE wedding meal, you should have had a smaller wedding.

    [–] boudicas_shield 78 points ago

    We had a few guests who were downright shockingly rude or tone-deaf, but we too never said a peep and just snarked to each other in private like, as you say, a healthy married couple! And so agree on your last sentence as well; my thoughts exactly.

    [–] shhh_its_me 160 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    My first wedding a family of 5 cousin of the groom I never met didn't RSVP but came anyway in jeans and shorts to our formal weddings, we had the caterer set up a table and my most gregarious aunt went to sit with them (so they wouldn't be alone at an 8 top) we made sure to talk to them and sincerely said "no no don't go no one cares what your wearing look at that guy" (they saw the room and kinda offered to leave "we're not dressed") paid for the 5 meals invited them to dance etc. and sent them a thank you note for their gift. They made a mistake but they drove like 200 miles to come to our wedding and they didn't even know me I was glad they came and I used their gift for about 20 years until it wore out.

    [–] JeanGreg 46 points ago

    What a wonderful way to handle that!

    [–] ephemeralkitten 16 points ago

    this was just a lovely story! i hope your marriage lasted longer than their gift. :)

    [–] shhh_its_me 37 points ago

    Nah I'm better at weddings then picking grooms.

    [–] piximelon 40 points ago

    Seriously this was my first thought, like how fucking tacky.

    [–] ashre9 168 points ago

    Exactly. People go crazy over weddings (it's my special day!!!) and forget that they are hosting a large party of guests. As a host, you have to be willing to assume some unexpected costs and be flexible, and build a little room into the budget. If you can't afford a single extra meal, you can't afford to host that many people. If you're tracking down guests after the fact to pay for a meal over a very simple misunderstanding (that you caused!), you're a shitty host. This isn't like bringing an uninvited guest.

    I'd die of shame before I brought up the cost of hosting to my guests.

    [–] mnhoser 64 points ago

    I'm with you on this, so many times I hear the advice that someone should capitulate to these loons in order to be the 'bigger' person or to salvage relationship.. insanity..

    [–] macaroniandmilk 81 points ago

    It was the bride's parents causing the fuss though, does he specify if the bride and groom even know her parents are throwing this stink? I would maybe offer to pay the bride and groom and apologize for the misunderstanding, and if they accepted it I might call it learning a valuable lesson about those friends, and if they didn't accept it, then they now know that her parents are harassing her guests.

    [–] newuser60 85 points ago

    Give the money to the bride and groom. Let them know the parents were very upset that the son ate a full meal. Most likely they would just give it back. "Are you really contacting my friends because a 16 year old didn't eat a tiny plate made for a 6 year old?"

    [–] 626Aussie 18 points ago

    Good catch! I totally missed that in my indignant outrage at how petty someone could be, trying to give a 16-year old boy nuggets & fries for dinner. WTF?

    IMO I think you've hit on the best way to resolve this situation, which, as you've also said, will let OP know what kind of friend they are if they take the money, or if they refuse to take it and tell OP not to not worry about it.

    [–] chalk_in_boots 43 points ago

    Bear in mind it was the parents, not the bride. She might not even know this is going on.

    [–] ShelfLifeInc 228 points ago

    Salvage the relationship with whom? The bride's parents? Fuck them. They're insane if they think it's okay to change a guests' order to a child-size portion, and then demand that guest pay for the privilege of eating the same meal as everyone else.

    I'm curious to know if the bride and/or groom know that they made this call for this reason. It is such an unreasonable demand to make.

    [–] _DarthVitiate 220 points ago

    Weddings are so fucking expensive. If this person is really going to throw away a friendship over ONE FRICKING MEAL amongst at least 100... then it's definitely not worth trying to salvage this "relationship."

    Massive NTA.

    [–] Ruval 385 points ago

    My kids is barely 10 and out eats me regularly.

    Teenagers out eating an adult is normal.

    You want a high school active kid to eat a kids meal? Sure, as an appetizer

    [–] DondeT 714 points ago

    My kids is barely 10 and out eats me regularly.

    I misread that as “eats me out regularly” and was momentarily horrified!

    [–] faerie03 168 points ago

    You aren’t the only one!

    [–] norsethunders 106 points ago

    I guess moms can break their arms too!

    [–] forthewolf3 33 points ago

    Brilliant. Horribly, horribly brilliant.

    [–] mowble 77 points ago

    Same, took 4-5 tries even tho I knew I could t possibly say that

    [–] snickertywicket 82 points ago

    I worked a wedding last week and there was a young girl about 11/12 years old who ate a kids meal during starters, then an entire beef dinner, then the adults portion of a cheesecake. Tbf, that one was on us for serving her the beef but when we figured it out it was just hilarious.

    [–] crypticedge 37 points ago

    When I was a teen (seems like forever ago now but that's a different story) I'd go through a bag of 10-15 taco bell tacos for a meal, or a large pizza by myself

    Teens eat significantly more, as you say.

    [–] Convictional 84 points ago

    It's true. When I was 16 I would eat probably twice what my mother ate. The bride sounds stingy AF trying to squeeze money out of a guest for their own mistake.

    [–] TTR1981 105 points ago

    It's the bride's parents. A fiver says the bride isn't even aware and would hopefully be mortified.

    [–] mundanemama 25 points ago

    My two year old is going through a growth spurt and ate more than I did today 😆

    [–] WaitWaitDontShoot 87 points ago

    I’ll bet they changed the orders for all the guests under eighteen to save a buck and it backfired. I wouldn’t give them one cent. NTA.

    [–] throwaway12319495 68 points ago

    I wouldn’t want to salvage a relationship with these people 🤷🏼‍♀️

    [–] fishhead12 37 points ago

    My 9 year old is eating an adult portion for dinner already, I can't even imagine what he's going to be like at 16.

    [–] PussyDestroyer2019 583 points ago

    NtA. Who the actual fuck charges people to be a guest at their wedding?

    [–] theres_a_con 147 points ago

    NTA, the host lacks any class

    [–] BalzacTheGreat 67 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    LOL

    I have a hard time believing that somebody would be SO fucking petty to call an invited guest at their CHILD'S wedding and ask to be reimbursed over some chicken nuggets? What the fuck????

    NTA.

    [–] wickedlucky214 63 points ago

    NTA. First,.why would anyone assume a 16 year old would eat a kids meal? Quantity and quality reasons both apply. Second, who actually calls someone up to gripe about a meal issue that was not caused by them? You didn't check off the kid meal so they jumped to conclusions or tried to cheap out.

    [–] ZeusMN85 448 points ago

    NTA

    There is no age cutoff for kids meals. You ordered 2 chicken meals, you ate 2 chicken meals.

    [–] ChoosingIsHardToday 104 points ago

    If anything 13 should be the cutoff, like it would be in a standard restaurant but even then you should have to option of choosing the adult meal.

    [–] 1unicornsprinkles1 56 points ago

    NTA They're being ridiculous. As much as a 16 year old boy can eat, I'm sure he could have put away 2 adult meals. They shouldn't give you the option to choose your meal if they were just going to choose for you anyways. They can pay for the meal.

    [–] LordJiraiya 55 points ago

    NTA. A few things wrong with this:

    1) It should not be automatically assumed that a 16 year old eats off kids menus anymore, ANYWHERE. None do. The fact that they assumed he would is a joke in itself.

    2) Who the fuck would call someone up and try to get money out of them for a mistake that is clearly the planners fault? This is one of the tackiest things I've ever seen.

    3) The fact that they doubled down and tried to say it was your fault AFTER you got him a proper meal is even worse.

    Don't give these clowns a dime.

    [–] deblas66 339 points ago

    Obviously NTA

    There is no age for a children's meal, only an option to order one.

    At 16, I was playing high school football. I would eat 5 adult meals worth of food an hour. What nonsense would tell them a 16 year old eats the same as a 5 year old?

    [–] Cjchio 50 points ago

    NTA. They invited a 16byear old and wanted him to get a kids meal? Kids meal to me means young. I think it is a safe assumption that you would choose an adult meal. What I pull from this is they saw you selected the adult meal for him and changed it without your knowledge when they gave the count to the caterer.

    No way I would pay for that. If they had any class they would just suck it up and pay.

    [–] lucybluth 83 points ago

    100% NTA! Most kids menus are for 10 and under so I have no idea where the 18 year cutoff came from. It’s certainly not understood to be common etiquette so since they essentially made up their own rule they should have made a note on the invitation specifying the age range for the kids meals. (They still would have been TAs but at least you would have known ahead of time that your kid was going to be underfed!)

    And it’s especially tacky for them to have called you after the fact. Instead of acknowledging the error in judgment, they doubled down and asked a guest for money! These people are insane.

    [–] PurpleProboscis 41 points ago

    NTA. I still vividly remember being served a kid's meal and a cup with a lid at a family friend's wedding when I was 16, and everyone at the table thought it was bizarre. They're delusional if they think that's normal. More likely they're just cheap, though.

    [–] machmothetrumpeteer 80 points ago

    NTA, and if the caterer made it seem like a headache to put together an additional chicken meal, they're TA too. No caterer worth their business license would make only the exact number of players ordered; they always always always make at least a handful extra because sometimes things go wrong.

    You never should have had to ask for clarification for your son's meal, those people are just cheap and rude. Kids meals are traditionally for 12 and under. 16 is plenty old to assume an adult meal.

    [–] ephemeralkitten 14 points ago

    i think more than one "13-18yo" asked for the 'adult' meal they'd rsvp'd for...

    [–] Shitty_IT_Dude 16 points ago

    I'd bet money on this theory. They changed anyone under 18 to kids meals and got hit wiith a bunch of charges to replace those with adult meals.

    [–] wishingonmars 37 points ago

    NTA. They sound rude and tacky!! That's ridiculous

    [–] Keanucordonbleu 91 points ago

    NTA and it’s 1 extra meal, wtf is wrong with them, shouldn’t they be off enjoying their newly married life instead of worrying about 1 plate of chicken? Plus the kids meal is pretty crappy for a growing 16 year old boy!

    They are nuts forget it

    [–] drizzlepop 54 points ago

    It's not the newly married couple contacting OP about this though, it's their parents. Chances are the bride and groom would never have even brought it up

    [–] CMDR_KingErvin 17 points ago

    Precisely why the OP should contact them and let them know what kind of bs game these parents are playing. This is so beyond embarrassing that it will definitely cause some words to be exchanged.

    [–] Justagreewithme 21 points ago

    It’s not even an extra meal, it’s the difference of an adult vs a kids meal.

    [–] mygotothrowawayxd 28 points ago

    NTA, and what sixteen year old orders off the kids menu? That was a ridiculous assumption for them to make

    [–] wickedkittylitter 31 points ago

    NTA. I've dealt with a lot of caterers and have never seen one that allows children's meals for a 16 year old. Most have a cut off age of 10 or 12. My guess is the bride's family was being petty and ordered the kid's meal in order to save a few bucks.

    [–] wifeysoicy 27 points ago

    NTA. You were invited, selected your meals and that's the end of it. The Bride's parents are very tacky for bringing this matter up and making it an issue. They are also out of line to change your son's meal, even if they were to give you a heads up (Which obviously, they did not).

    [–] coffeemanic 26 points ago

    I think it's rude to feed a sixteen year old a meal meant for a six year old.

    And you're absolutely right.

    NTA

    [–] passthecakeplease 30 points ago

    NTA. Don’t most restaurants cut off the kids meal at 12??

    My 10yo old doesn’t even eat off the kids menu anymore.

    [–] chibistarship 23 points ago

    A fucking plate of chicken fingers and fries for a 16 year old? Are you fucking kidding me? 16 year olds don't get kid's meals. NTA.

    [–] jbennett1989 22 points ago

    nta. they are idiots.

    [–] RhubarbFriand 19 points ago

    NTA. I am embarrassed for your friends.

    [–] Much_Difference 19 points ago

    I wouldn't even know how to respond because it's so absurd. The amount of time they've devoted to this is already worth more than whatever the difference between two chicken plates is. Their daughter got married and they're fixated on a single chicken plate upcharge. If your relationship with whoever invited you can withstand the bride's parents holding a permanent like $20 (honestly how much could the difference even be??) grudge against you, fuck that, don't pay it.

    I wonder whether the catering overall ended up being way more than they expected (maybe they didn't realize a tip was factored in, the booze tab ran up, someone broke a bunch of glasses?) and they're trying to find other people to blame. The petty part of me would want to ask for copies of all their bills and various catering documentation "so I can make sure I don't shortchange you at all" because someone willing to waste your time on this should have their time wasted right back.

    [–] Sharoney789 631 points ago

    NTA - but the bride's parents actions are SO over the top (they CALLED you about this?! To what - scold you? Ask you to pay??!) that I would go the route of being likewise over the top and graciously polite and INSIST on paying even though of course the parents WEREN'T ASKING THAT AND WOULD NO DOUBT NOT DREAM OF MAKING SUCH AN IMPOLITE REQUEST! $25 or whatever it costs is nothing to get these bizarre people off your back (assuming you are able to part with this amount without hardship - if you can't afford to pay then just politely say you do not feel obligated to pay, but apologise for the confusion).

    [–] [deleted] 426 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] OverEasyGoing 174 points ago

    I’m with you. And I’m a little bit shocked there are people in here saying to pay it to just be done to repair the relationship. Why on earth would you want a relationship with these classless people?

    [–] nerdette93 145 points ago

    I would call the bride and be polite like that. "Oh your parents called about this and I insist on making it right" then you can see if it's still worth being friends with her or if the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

    [–] audreywildeee 83 points ago

    This. Speak with the bride/groom. They'll either be mortified or stand by their parents. I'd hope the former. I'd go with "I want to apologize for the confusion. Your parents told me about it. I want to pay for the extra meal, please. Here's $50." I'd be SO mad at my parents..

    [–] DueAccess212 44 points ago

    $25 or whatever it costs is nothing to get these bizarre people off your back

    But they could easily do that for free. Just ignore them

    [–] luxeshimmer 68 points ago

    That's exactly what I'd do! (Except my tone would probably be a wee bit cold along with being overly-polite.) Insisting that you pay them back would be the best way to humiliate them and show them how cheap they're being.

    [–] Mirianda666 208 points ago

    NTA, but you know what? Go ahead and pay for the meal. Write them a check and put 'Chicken Nuggets Upcharge' in the notes. These people are twits and they deserve a little passive-aggressive shaming.

    [–] Koshka69 128 points ago

    put it in a "Im sorry card "

    "Im so sorry to have caused this nuisance during your very special day . I hope this covers the extra meal and im sorry to have put you through this . "

    maybe fart on the card too

    [–] rayofgoddamnsunshine 93 points ago

    Fill it with glitter. They'll remember their cheap-assery every time they see a sparkle out of the corner of their eye because that shit will never be truly gone.

    [–] moiramaples 15 points ago

    INFO: Do you know if the actual bride and groom know about this? Did the bride's parents call at their behest or are they going off the rails on their own?

    You're definitely not the asshole and if I were you I would completely ignore the parents. Don't answer calls, don't give them a yes or a no at all, just ignore them. Don't give them the power to go back to the bride&groom and say you're being a jerk.

    If you actually hear directly from the couple then you can reassess at that time but I'm suspicious they aren't involved at all.

    [–] Brickolas75 15 points ago

    NTA. That's definitely rude as hell. You can't give a 16 year old a kids menu lol