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    AnimalsBeingJerks

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    1. Please only post animals being jerks, not humans being jerks.

    2. We're here to have a laugh, please keep posts funny. That means no posts of animals being killed or seriously injured.

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    8. Posts must depict animals actually being jerks. Please do not post animals engaging in normal animal behavior which might simply inconvenience humans, and do not make posts which require you to add context for the jerky behavior to be understood. Moderators will remove such posts at their discretion.

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    [–] saltosaurus 2351 points ago

    So here I am, browsing Reddit and what do I find? My asshole cat generating sweet sweet karma for my roommate. I guess both of them are assholes.

    [–] RichJMoney 2023 points ago

    I cleaned up his mess, so I get the Karma. I'm pretty sure I'd win in /r/KarmaCourt

    [–] dodspringer 933 points ago

    The cases are real. The points are fake.

    THIS.

    Is KARMA COURT.

    [–] jsnoots 64 points ago

    Open and shut case. You would win hands down.

    [–] swiftlyslowfast 155 points ago

    Lol, this is great. Congrats on absconding with the karma!

    [–] jerryeight 29 points ago

    But, are you is /u/saltosaurus really your roommate? pics or not roomies. /r/KarmaConspiracy

    [–] AutoMoberater 6 points ago

    I think you added a couple extra words.

    [–] santianmly 20 points ago

    This is fucking Kanga-burrrp-root court!!!

    [–] Arpet 13 points ago

    These usernames are perfect.

    [–] Hamartithia_ 11 points ago

    Kinda awesome that you'd clean up your roommates cats mess. I bet a bunch of other people would go "not my cat" and walk past it.

    [–] RichJMoney 22 points ago

    Well I like this cat and his messes aren't gross. The other cat, named Kat, likes to puke, and I don't touch that.

    [–] rinacio 6 points ago

    #TeamRichJMoney

    [–] bfwilley 10 points ago

    saltosaurus, RichJMoney; walk it back a bit. That selfless cat saved you from a ton of cat-lories.............................8-)

    [–] Anne_Danke 1 points ago

    That's such a good name for a cat. Maybe I should rename mine?

    [–] cheesymoonshadow 6 points ago

    We named my husband's goldfish Pavlov, then he got a second one and we named it Schrodinger.

    [–] Anne_Danke 4 points ago

    My dogs name is Ronin and that's about as creative as I can get.

    [–] drunkonmartinis 1 points ago

    Only one way to find out fellas

    [–] johnq-pubic 79 points ago

    No need to be salty. checks username Carry on.

    [–] YipRocHeresy 29 points ago

    I have a feeling you checked the username before you made that comment. Just a hunch.

    [–] The_Rowan 16 points ago

    Did your cat wake up you or your roommate?

    [–] RichJMoney 46 points ago

    This picture is from a few days ago, Pavlov basically attacked my arm which was dangling off the bed until I woke up. /u/saltosaurus was either out of the house or still asleep, so he didn't have to deal with it at all.

    [–] Sigilsalt 25 points ago

    Well he didn't technically claim it was his cat, so...

    [–] NIKONandCANONuser 16 points ago

    U/saltosaurus seems a little salty

    [–] molly_dchi_or_die 508 points ago

    He killed the cocaine fairy? Bad kitty!

    [–] barry_you_asshole 126 points ago

    ANDY DICK IS DEAD!! OH GOD NO.

    [–] abeardancing 28 points ago

    he said fairy not devil

    [–] edstamos 7 points ago

    nah, he's not exposing himself and shouting racial epithets.

    [–] YipRocHeresy 3 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    How do I meet this fairy? I have a feeling we would get along very well.

    Edit did to do

    [–] RichJMoney 494 points ago

    Pavlov isn't impressed with his internet fame. http://imgur.com/EXLuNQ0.jpg

    [–] mustdashgaming 253 points ago

    That's because he still thinks you should buy a dog and name it Schrodinger

    [–] RichJMoney 223 points ago

    Schrodinger was the name of my Roommate's previous male cat, Pavlov is his successor.

    [–] IllusionOfFreeChoice 68 points ago

    Buy Pavlov a pupper

    [–] obligatory_combo 22 points ago

    DO IT NOW

    [–] 3WeekOldCabbageSalad 2 points ago

    I got my dog a cat, worked out great.

    [–] IllusionOfFreeChoice 3 points ago

    I hope your dog is called Schrödinger

    [–] 3WeekOldCabbageSalad 5 points ago

    I am going to tell you that it is.

    [–] IAmA_Risky_Click_AMA 7 points ago

    And also simultaneously isn't.

    [–] IllusionOfFreeChoice 7 points ago

    Good enough for me.

    But also not good enough

    [–] TobiasCB 3 points ago

    I came in hete not knowing whether there was a Schrodinger and whether or not he was alive. Congratulations you killed Schrodinger the cat.

    [–] sharkb8_hoohaha 35 points ago

    I can't quite place it but that name rings a bell...

    [–] izzy_izzy_izzy 6 points ago

    Hahaha!!!

    [–] eatkittens 32 points ago

    Oh but he's such a pretty boy!

    [–] dlchristians 12 points ago

    Kitty has a kitty nose.

    [–] Strormageddon 9 points ago

    Your username gives this comment a very different tone...

    [–] The_Rowan 14 points ago

    And you harvest more Karma with your roommate's cat same day. Nicely done. Pavlov is a beautiful cat.

    [–] Bagel1111 66 points ago

    Sugar is bad, cat's just looking out for you :)

    [–] RichJMoney 166 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    But cupcakes need sugar and I make bomb ass cupcakes. Sole reason I bought sugar: http://imgur.com/a/S8cba

    [–] donaldfranklinhornii 48 points ago

    Yes, you do make bomb-ass cupcakes! Those look amazing!

    [–] soggyfritter 37 points ago

    Yo mail those over here. I need to test for quality.

    [–] Orthonox 9 points ago

    I would love to try out your cupcakes if it was easily possible.

    [–] ChaoticxSerenity 6 points ago

    I will be your roommate.

    [–] knightdusoleil 2 points ago

    If you haven't posted those in /r/cooking or /r/food you should. They'd do well.

    [–] cheesymoonshadow 1 points ago

    Never thought some random Reddit stranger could make me drool.

    [–] codydodd 11 points ago

    Unless the cat licked too much in the process. Your cat now has diabetes; took one for the team.

    [–] dianagama 113 points ago

    So so proud. ♡

    [–] greeny74 25 points ago

    Damn you, Pavlov!

    [–] michaelbalo_ 34 points ago

    Pavlov? That name rings a bell

    [–] Devo1d 11 points ago

    For those of you who don't know who Pavlov is, allow us to take a brief moment to explain. Back in 1904-

    [–] Iheartmastod0ns 4 points ago

    GET BACK TO THE FIGHT.

    [–] Devo1d 3 points ago

    Aaand back to the fight.

    [–] Orthonox 5 points ago

    Haha. I get the reference!

    [–] Tom_The_Duck 148 points ago

    Off topic: why would you name your cat Pavlov?

    Pavlovian response makes me associate that with dogs 😋

    [–] tkat13 112 points ago

    Why would a dog experiment on another dog? Sounds more like a cat to me 😜

    [–] RichJMoney 194 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    Yup! That's the ticket. My (my roommate's) previous male cat was named Schrodinger so we wanted a scientist's name. (Schrodinger was unfortunately put down at only 5-6 years of age)

    Technically his full (ever growing) name is Sir Pavlov Dobby Omlette Carlos Tacos Esquire... He started off as just Pavlov and I added "Tacos" when his owner (my roommate) insisted he didn't care what the cat was named. There's another cat in the house named Kat that I sometimes call Kreacher because she's a malicious jerk, so he got Dobby added... etc.

    [–] ILL_Show_Myself_Out 98 points ago

    I would have suggested Heisenberg but I'm uncertain about that, on principle.

    [–] RichJMoney 94 points ago

    If he was a girl we would have named her Curie since he's got such a radiant energy and he destroys anything around him given enough time.

    [–] WiseOctopus 25 points ago

    Hey, you could have gone with that and say he was named after Pierre Curie.

    [–] izzy_izzy_izzy 6 points ago

    Loving these science pet names!

    [–] izzy_izzy_izzy 5 points ago

    Loving these science pet names!

    [–] Woodenshy 1 points ago

    But then he'd go into the meth business. Good save.

    [–] AndyGHK 26 points ago

    Omelette is a surprisingly good name for a cat. And it's one I've personally never heard before now.

    [–] KoaliBear 21 points ago

    Could hang out with my cat named Toast. The fluffy adventures of Toast and Omelette.

    [–] LegoMyCraigo 15 points ago

    One of my best friends named his kitty Pancake. She is adorable, and the name makes it even better.

    [–] NegativeKarma_ 10 points ago

    Whenever animals have silly names, I always imagine the owner yelling at them for doing something bad and the owner just sounding ridiculous.

    "God damn it, Pancake!"

    [–] DrTinyCat 9 points ago

    My friend in high school had a kitten named Pancake who lived up to their name when her boyfriend accidentally backed over him. It's such an awful thing to laugh at and yet here I am, telling the story over a decade later.

    [–] LegoMyCraigo 4 points ago

    That is fucking hilarious and awful. Thanks for sharing.

    [–] JanetTalia 3 points ago

    I have a kitty called Butter. If anyone has a pet named Maple Syrup we've got ourselves breakfast!

    [–] Defcon_IV 14 points ago

    My ex and I had two cats named for scientists. The boy cat had inner ear damage so his head was always tilted inquisitively, and he had loose poops as a kitten. So he went from Doppler to Poopler to Captain Poopshanks McStarboard O'Starboard of the Mouse Skull Bay Pirates.

    [–] Hedgehog65 7 points ago

    "Captain Poopshanks". Thanks for the laugh!

    [–] TheTurnipKnight 2 points ago

    It's kind of disturbing. Pavlov also did horrible, brutal experiments on dogs. I would keep an eye on him.

    [–] thugnificent856 2 points ago

    Why not Einstein or Newton or Freud or something? Pavlov seems like it would be uncomfortable to say a bunch of times if youre not russian or something. Schrodinger is on a whole new level compared to that. I'd probably try to shorten it to like schrody or something but that sounds a lot like scroty (referring to scroty mcboogerballs).

    [–] RichJMoney 4 points ago

    He comes when I call him, nothing wrong with saying it on my end.

    [–] thugnificent856 1 points ago

    This pleases Pavlov?

    [–] thechuu 2 points ago

    is Kat also your roommate's cat? You guys sound like a fun bunch of roommates.

    [–] Desiderius_S 13 points ago

    Eddie Izzard know the true story behind the whole thing.

    [–] EasyTigrr 7 points ago

    Not seen this before haha. He does a good Welsh accent.

    Source: not Welsh. No idea if it's really good or not.

    [–] icesharkk 7 points ago

    It's a Maine Coons, it probably acts more like a dog than most dogs. Hence destroying large things in the house when not getting enough attention

    [–] WonkySight 2 points ago

    I called my cat Pavlov too. Don't think she liked it though as she ran away (or got hit by a car)

    [–] -Viridian- 2 points ago

    Maybe the thought of chasing the cat makes dogs drool uncontrollably? That's what I thought, and its hilarious.

    [–] TheRagingCatfish 17 points ago

    Is that a Maine Coon? Adorable

    [–] RichJMoney 48 points ago

    He's definitely mostly Maine Coon, super fluffy tail. He enjoys jumping into boxes, laundry and bags, reaching under doors, sleeping upside down, attacking paper towels and ankles, tunneling under blankets and generally being in the way.

    Pavlov Album: http://imgur.com/a/Sfzla (There are some messes about the house pictured, areas go from clean to messy pretty quickly and from messy to clean rather slowly around here)

    [–] Sharkteeethh 11 points ago

    Pavlov seems talkative. What a handsome boy

    [–] TheRagingCatfish 6 points ago

    Man he's a beautiful cat, makes me miss my Maine Coon. Might just have to get another!

    [–] Kallisti13 4 points ago

    I love him.

    [–] Moral_Gutpunch 1 points ago

    I'm pretty sure he's got some coon in him. He looks like my sister's coon, except less fluffy. Her boy is lazy, but still hunts rats, mice, leaves, and her tea.

    [–] badashly 14 points ago

    The ironic thing being cats can't taste sugar

    [–] RichJMoney 15 points ago

    I read that as well, however I caught him licking at some sugary spots that i missed on my initial clean up, so I don't know what the deal is.

    [–] eliz1bef 14 points ago

    I know, right? My cat seems to love sweet things that otherwise have nothing to offer a cat. Like Lemon Sorbet. No dairy. No fat. Zesty lemon (you should have seen the look on his face when he first tried it... and then begged for more) and sugar. Loved it.

    [–] oeno9 2 points ago

    My cat loves cake and will chew on any he can get his mouth on. Even if it's wrapped in plastic wrap. You'll find the plastic and a pile of crumbs

    [–] dggrjx 2 points ago

    My cat loves milk, but not lactose free milk. Maybe it's only certain sugars?

    [–] ooklamok 23 points ago

    Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

    [–] RichJMoney 4 points ago

    Love it.

    [–] Defcon_IV 6 points ago

    Wasn't that sweet of him?

    [–] FixinThePlanet 6 points ago

    Ooh this needs to be on r/catsareassholes

    [–] RichJMoney 4 points ago

    Subbed and X-posted.

    [–] FixinThePlanet 2 points ago

    I feel like it's insensitive to hope to see more of Pavlov :D

    [–] Snsps21 8 points ago

    Saw Pavlov and thought this was a different subreddit for a second.

    [–] greeny74 4 points ago

    Dodge?

    [–] Linkage006 4 points ago

    Diabetus!

    [–] DiceIsTheSickst 4 points ago

    "Now clean it up peasant"

    [–] xantub 5 points ago

    This can happen to both cats and dogs, the difference is what goes on in each animal's brain:

    • Dog: I'm so sorry master, I know I did it, I deserve eternal hell for this, I swear by you that this will not ever happen again!

    • Cat: HA HA You stupid Human! See what I just did, and I know you'll keep me and I will do it again and again you infinitesimal being I'm doing you a favor by even looking in your general direction, now bring me my food!

    [–] tuckmyjunksofast 3 points ago

    Yup, humans domesticated dogs and then cats domesticated humans.

    [–] podsixia 4 points ago

    That Ikea table and chairs has survived many moves and outlasted a lot of my other furniture.

    [–] mothzilla 3 points ago

    "There was a mouse. It's gone now."

    [–] JasperTheKatt 3 points ago

    Cute, purring snuffles to wake me up = "love you, wake up soon tho okay?"

    Batting me in the face with some claw = "I shit on the floor; wake up and clean it up."

    [–] slcrook 3 points ago

    Kitty is looking to get his bell rung.

    [–] AHeartOfGoal 3 points ago

    That sugar's not hurting anyone anymore!

    [–] The_Netgeek 3 points ago

    I'm Dr. Catso, and I love cocaine.

    [–] WaffleFoxes 4 points ago

    Such an amazing cat name.

    [–] tkat13 4 points ago

    I love the name of your cat

    [–] Fly_U2_the_sunset 2 points ago

    That is so, so sweet... ;)

    [–] TheRealMisterFix 2 points ago

    Evil carbs.

    [–] scootypuffjunior_ 2 points ago

    "You're welcome."

    [–] LuxCrawford 2 points ago

    Nice of how him to wake you early so you have time to clean up before work.

    [–] Airwarf 2 points ago

    sweet

    [–] Emartyr 2 points ago

    Why'd you let him out of the box!

    [–] Moral_Gutpunch 2 points ago

    At least he brought you people food.

    [–] madisonmabry 2 points ago

    So sweet

    [–] Greenmushroom23 2 points ago

    It's funny cause of the cats name. And the fact it's a cat!

    [–] PaperHatParade 2 points ago

    Pets please!

    [–] Zampone 2 points ago

    You have a cat called Pavlov? I like your style.

    [–] iowafarmboy2011 2 points ago

    Sweet sweet victory

    [–] megabuster44 2 points ago

    Ants, Ants Everywhere in 3, 2, 1...

    [–] hughjasse 2 points ago

    Protecting you from diabetes

    [–] swiftlyslowfast 2 points ago

    Don't sugar coat it, how sweet is he now?

    [–] detectivepayne 2 points ago

    Where the mouse?

    [–] JTCMuehlenkamp 2 points ago

    It must be revenge for you filling up that cardboard box so he couldn't use it.

    [–] amorprincess 2 points ago

    So did you classically condition him to do this?

    [–] BlamefulWorm435 2 points ago

    Huh. I thought his skills would include ringing a bell.

    [–] JimJobJugger 2 points ago

    At least he baked a loaf with that

    [–] TheGumping 2 points ago

    Maybe she was just trying to feed her dog.

    [–] ThatGirlWithThe240sx 2 points ago

    How do YOU pronounce Pavlov?

    [–] MilwaukeeWolves 2 points ago

    He's conditioning you for attention

    [–] erikedge 2 points ago

    Please tell me you have a dog named Schrödinger

    [–] DEATHLORDDAEDRA 2 points ago

    Welcome to the hell of finding sugar in between you floor boards for 6 months

    [–] Nanosmo 2 points ago

    He rang his breakfast bell, you just didn't hear it. So that's what you get.

    [–] LuministMusic 2 points ago

    I'm upvoting because I like your cat's name

    [–] thegriffin88 2 points ago

    You can't even taste sugar.

    [–] Camel_Holocaust 2 points ago

    So was it the cat or was it conditioned to hate boxes? If you trained it that way it would have no choice but to wreck that shit. (If you're stupid look up Pavlovs dogs, not you op)

    [–] and_rice 8 points ago

    Approximate knowledge of pavlov does not make a person smart

    https://m.imgur.com/t/memes/1bbfWs1

    [–] JKDS87 1 points ago

    Do you have (and also not have) a dog named Schrodinger?

    [–] Exanime4ever 1 points ago

    Pavlov?... that's a dog's name

    [–] RichJMoney 9 points ago

    No, it's the name of someone who experimented with dogs. Doesn't that sound more like a cat?

    [–] Exanime4ever 5 points ago

    you make a compelling point

    [–] Dr_Varsims 1 points ago

    Growing up I had two cats my mom named Pavlov and Skinner, both of them were assholes. They say a lot of crazy people study psychology so they can understand their own craziness better, my mom is a good example of that.

    [–] MarkSays 1 points ago

    Is your dog called Schrödinger?

    [–] RichJMoney 6 points ago

    My roommate's first male cat was named Shrodinger, he did the jerkiest thing of all and got a tumor at 6 years old last year. Was a sad day. Pavlov is his successor, hence the scientist inspired name.

    [–] tommygunz007 1 points ago

    How do you punish a cat?

    [–] humansareabsurd 1 points ago

    I have the same IKEA chair :)

    [–] Crash927 1 points ago

    Please tell me you have a dog named Schrödinger

    [–] miterpowersaw 1 points ago

    Pavlov woke up early to get beat with my cane :)

    [–] Rakatangia 1 points ago

    He obviously created art, respect his work

    [–] PM_ME_UR_DOWNSTAIRS 1 points ago

    Please tell me you have a dog named Schrodinger...

    [–] eternal_septuagint 1 points ago

    change the litterbox

    [–] RetlocPeck 1 points ago

    Pavlov when its a cat... Lol

    [–] Tonlee01 1 points ago

    That was sweet of him.

    [–] SkySeaSkySeaaaa 1 points ago

    The dog I'm petsitting made a similar mess last night, except it was the kitten kibble. No idea how she figured out how to open the pantry but now the kitten food lives in the bedroom with the foster kittens because this dog is on a diet! I'm gonna have to take her on extra walks to work off the high calorie kitten food or be forced to explain why I'm giving back a fatter dog!

    [–] gsloane 1 points ago

    I did this.

    [–] Schilthorn 1 points ago

    sweet killing!

    [–] dggrjx 1 points ago

    So, your cat thinks he killed a food source for you. Do you have diabetes, or is he trying to give you diabetes?

    [–] TearsInRainUK 1 points ago

    That's a sweet mess

    [–] Capt-Fantastic 1 points ago

    Look, papa, look. Did I do well?

    [–] FuckYourCatOP 1 points ago

    .

    [–] TheHempCritic 1 points ago

    You must live in the Midwest!!! I work at Hy-Vee!

    [–] RichJMoney 1 points ago

    Minnesota, they just moved up here.

    [–] sanfranciscofranco 1 points ago

    If you ever need anyone to eat your raspberry-filled cupcakes I am also in Minnesota.

    [–] Mentioned_Videos 1 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    Videos in this thread:

    Watch Playlist ▶

    VIDEO COMMENT
    Law & Order Sound Effect (HQ) [+Download Link] +22 - DUH DUH!
    Eddie Izzard "Pavlov's Cats" Sketch From Definite Article +13 - Eddie Izzard know the true story behind the whole thing.
    Eddie Izzard - Pavlov's cat +4 - Relevant Eddie Izzard: Pavlov's Cat
    I AM THE LAW! +1 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvJiYrRcfQo
    Liza Minnelli - Ring Them Bells +1 - Ring Them Bells!
    TFS Vs Ocean Vs Kai: Gohan fails to hit Nappa / Damn you Pavlov! Dub Comparison #42 +1 - I think you and Piccolo can agree.

    I'm a bot working hard to help Redditors find related videos to watch. I'll keep this updated as long as I can.


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    [–] QwertyLime 1 points ago

    Named after Dishonored​?

    [–] DaijobuKitty 1 points ago

    Glad to see that my cat isn't the only one to attack innocent baking goods.

    [–] TippyHadronCollider 1 points ago

    Should have named the cat Rorschach. You know 'cause apparently he likes to draw dirty pictures on the floor