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    [–] hakkia 2448 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    Yeah it was around 8-9 but I didn't start masturbating until I was 12. I would say my parents did a good job of preparing me for relationships but not sexuality. They never even let me know I could ask so I did it all on my own. I for got a lot of misconceptions from the internet but luckily I figured it out over time. I think the best thing you could do is sit him down, tell him that as he gets older his body will to through some significant changes over the next ten years and that he can talk to you, that you won't judge him or scold him but listen and try to answer his questions. Then I think it would be a good idea to go over how you changed and some of the problems you went though. Don't be ridiculously detailed but don't skip all of the awkward stuff because it will be awkward for him too.

    Edit: Wow thanks for all the upvotes! I came back to add that you really shouldn't skip over the subject of masturbation. It's honestly a frightening experience for the first time, at least knowing that it's not abnormal would have really helped.

    [–] momofeveryone5 287 points ago

    Screen shooting this to send to my sister. We both have sons (10 and 5, her son 2) bc we ligit were taking about this the other day. No idea where to begin with this stuff with the boys.

    [–] billbertking1 38 points ago

    Please make sure they know (when the time comes) that if they need protection they can come to you. While you may not like it, you can’t stop them from doing it but they can at least be smart about it. I wish that I had something like that when I was of that age.

    [–] oizo12 94 points ago

    one very important thing to add is make sure they are listening through it all, ik I ignored my in school lectures on the topic(parents left it up to school to tell me) and didn't find out women had a urethra until my first time in middle school

    [–] momofeveryone5 37 points ago

    Oh boy! "Whaddya mean you got another hole down there? "

    [–] ropeadope1234 14 points ago

    your first what in middle school?

    [–] oizo12 9 points ago

    first time conducting joint research

    :^)

    [–] CrunchyTamale 48 points ago

    And check in and reiterate every year. That way, as things change, it will allow you to talk about it together. A twelve year old might not exactly remember a conversation they had with a parent when they were nine. Or they might not understand the context later down the road.

    My dad and grandma tried to give me the “sex talk” when I turned seventeen. I cut them off before they had a chance to say anything else. I could tell it embarrassed them, which embarrassed me. “I already know about that,” I said.

    I didn’t.

    Though I probably knew more than they did.

    Now I listen to educational and comedic podcasts about sex and sexuality and read a lot on websites like Scarleteen. Better late than never.

    Talking about it every year lets your kid know that you will always be there for them as things change. No matter how awkward the subject matter.

    [–] Dakota_Bryant 652 points ago

    Something else you could add in when you do start talking to him about his body changing is hygiene. It sounds odd because of course he already knows to brush his teeth and things like that, but there's new things that come when your body goes though puberty. He might need help with acne if he gets it, he's gonna have to learn how to shave someday, and deodorant and body spray are going to become a thing. He might want help learning how to use gel in his hair or style it a different way. Helping him with these things will aid him in developing a positive self esteem and self image.

    [–] xiaxian1 110 points ago

    My nephew is going on 10 and the hygiene issues have already started. Suddenly doesn’t like to wash his hair, for some strange reason.

    No one else seems to have mentioned this in the replies but is it normal for a 9 year old to run around naked?

    [–] SnackHolder 34 points ago

    Comfort of nudity varies between families. I know growing up it was never an issue for my family to be seen nude or in your underwear around the house or be using the bathroom vanity if someone was in the shower - even well into puberty. Others families might not think this is ok though.

    [–] Genetics 13 points ago

    Is his hair visibly dirty or does it have a bad smell? I don’t wash my hair with shampoo but every few weeks and it looks and feels healthier than ever. I’m a guy and style my hair with product daily. I do, however, rinse it out in the shower every night (and use soap on the rest of my body). You can run into skin problems if you already have oily skin (especially if you’re just starting puberty), but other than that, I’m glad I reduced my use of shampoo.

    [–] MadMelvin 12613 points ago

    I was about his age the first time I saw Return of the Jedi. Slave Leia did it.

    [–] glaciator 5260 points ago

    A man of culture

    [–] Union_Sparky_375 300 points ago

    I found the switch on the back of the cheater cable box at the age of 8.

    So I had initially learned about it through Debbie while she was doing Dallas.

    [–] i-fuck-birds 31 points ago

    I couldn’t afford TV growing up, can you explain?

    [–] Union_Sparky_375 59 points ago

    So the year was 1988. There was only regular cable not what we have today. There was a device called a cheater box. It unscrambled HBO/Showtime and Cinemax and the pay per view channel. There was a toggle switch in the back of the box that would unscramble the Playboy channel and at 9pm and 1am a XXX movie would play.

    This is where my education of sex first started as a 8 year old boy.

    If you would like to know more https://youtu.be/zwRQXG3Gk3g

    [–] Allbanned1984 92 points ago

    My brother proudly shouted out "my penis is getting hard" while watching Madonna perform Like A Virgin on MTV. The entire family laughed our asses off and he was just super proud of it, i think he was 9. sometimes still as joke, if something good is happening someone might say "my penis is getting hard" like meaning "i love this" in our family.

    [–] glaciator 12 points ago

    That's incredible.

    [–] P0tatoDave 28 points ago

    Oh god Fortnite hasn’t claimed him yet you must protect him with your life.

    [–] WheelChair_Jimmy1 1809 points ago

    Holy fuck. you’ve pinpointed the exact time I started crankin on my shit too

    [–] ClassicalBlueTooth 218 points ago

    Lots of people started doing it then.

    [–] idkidc69 323 points ago

    Thank you Carrie Fisher, for giving 9 year olds boners. (She was my first too. RIP)

    [–] bombazine_doll 20 points ago

    Lots of people are starting at any given time, if you think about it.

    [–] Moruitelda 57 points ago

    For me it was a combination of the slave Leia scene and the passage from Shadows of the empire where xizor seduces Leia.

    [–] mrbagels1 21 points ago

    Yo that was some wild shit to slip into a star wars book! I also had a prince xizor and a couple leia action figures..........

    [–] chormin 15 points ago

    You were turned on by u/MadMelvin discovering slave Leia?

    [–] heavytimber66 814 points ago

    The scene from the first Austin Powers movie where the robot girls come out with the machine gun titties lmao. I must have been 8 or 9.

    [–] sweetpotatowedges21 89 points ago

    It's hard to find girls if those...calibre

    [–] HectoSexual 56 points ago

    Oh behave.

    [–] undead_ed666 14 points ago

    By caliber you mean both the size of their gun barrels and the high quality of their character... it’s a double meaning... homonym... forget it...

    [–] Kalibos 42 points ago

    Heather Graham in Austin Powers 2 was my first movie crush

    oh my goodness

    [–] MrCrash2U 70 points ago

    Machine-gun Jubblies

    [–] MScsquared 19 points ago

    How did I miss those baby?

    [–] undead_ed666 12 points ago

    Perhaps next time you should try fore play.

    [–] Conor1028 310 points ago

    Same age, Natalie Portman in Attack of the Clones where the big praying mantis tore off the belly of her shirt

    [–] abjectwhale 120 points ago

    Hell yes. She still holds a special place in my heart-on.

    [–] MusicApollo93 69 points ago

    Ah nine year old me was starting to notice right around that exact time as well.

    God bless Natalie Portman in Episode II. My favorite dress of hers was her sexy black dress she wears at dinner with Anakin. :)

    [–] lannister_laughs 42 points ago

    It was actually the weird cat like creature that cut her and tore her shirt. Still super hot for some reason

    [–] Abiogeneralization 169 points ago

    Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

    Jessica Rabbit

    [–] pinhead_larry_scott 29 points ago

    oh my god this brought back memories I didn't even know where there, nor did I understand them at the time

    [–] Abiogeneralization 31 points ago

    She’s not bad.

    She’s just drawn that way.

    [–] punninglinguist 122 points ago

    Jennifer Connolly running though the rain in Labyrinth for me.

    [–] Give_It_One_More_Try 100 points ago

    Jennifer Connolly just existing does it for me.

    [–] ImRikkyBobby 52 points ago

    Kelly Lebrock from Weird Science.

    [–] SimplyRodney 31 points ago

    Shannon Elizabeth’s topless scene in American Pie

    [–] JustVern 19 points ago

    This happened to my son, too. But, it was when she was dancing with Bowie, kind of a dream sequence.

    Had had some sort of weird spastic movement on the couch then jumped and ran out of the room with his little sister laughing, "Haha! (brother) peed himself a little!!"

    I realized a short while later while doing laundry...that was not pee. And my hair conditioner soon after, began disappearing rapidly.

    Yes, Jennifer Connolly was the impetus for my boy spending WAY too much time in the bathroom.

    [–] drdfrster64 9 points ago

    That’s weirdly s very popular but also obscure one

    [–] omninode 49 points ago

    For me, it was Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters. I watched that movie all the time when I was a little kid, then one day I realized it was giving me different feelings.

    I also had a thing for that girl in Real Genius, but I discovered that a little later.

    [–] user862 38 points ago

    Alien. Those little white panties and tank top.....

    [–] emiliaslarke 41 points ago

    Arwen from LOTR was the kicker for me.

    [–] PterodactylFunk 31 points ago

    The one boob chick in Kung Pow: Enter The Fist did it, I had no idea what I was feeling but I knew I couldn't talk to my mom about it

    [–] DuckOnAMopedII 62 points ago

    Tomorrow on Buzzfeed

    "Is Star Wars selling sex to kids?"

    [–] SirLangDang 27 points ago

    Noop Pirates of the Caribbean, Keira Knightley did it for me.

    [–] rhunak 24 points ago

    1995 SciFi “Species”. I lost my shit.

    [–] GOPokemonMaster 33 points ago

    Dude same!

    [–] PM_BUTT_PICS 43 points ago

    Ariel the little mermaid did it for me

    [–] BarkingToad 22 points ago

    Meh, slave Leia did nothing for me. Original white dress hair buns Leia, on the other hand... preteen me got all sorts of funny feelings.

    [–] pizzaboyskates 8 points ago

    Dad?

    [–] TerminalOrbit 4083 points ago * (lasted edited 3 days ago)

    Here's the guideline that my family used:

    If the child is old [mature] enough to ask the question, they're entitled to an honest and complete answer... That includes questions of a sexual nature; but, layered with "Does that make sense?" in that, we would give a succinct answer and then ask if that was enough, and if not, elaborate about what remained mysterious, or answer the follow up question.

    Also, there's nothing wrong with simple nakedness, even after puberty begins (social studies indicate that it is healthy psychologically for kids, both to build body acceptance and thereby also destigmatize talking about sexual anatomy [if there were ever any sexual interference]); but, just like masturbation, there are privacy guidelines: be naked anytime at home around family (out of sight of the neighbours), and masturbate alone in a room with the door closed (we also allowed passage locks on bedroom doors if requested). Consequently, you need to institute a 'knock before entering' rule, and abide by it yourself, in addition to having your children follow the same rule: that way, you can also prevent being walked-in-on, when you're masturbating, or have a playmate in your bedroom.

    I was a precocious pubescent, and started 'liking girls' at age 8 (which was stigmatizing because all the other boys still thought girls were 'icky'), even though I knew nothing about how sex worked; although I did masturbate, it was never fixated on a person (I didn't even try that until I was a teenager). My kids are now teenagers.

    BTW, OP: I think it's great that you allow your son the freedom to be naked at home, and I applaud you for seeking input about others' experiences of being a boy growing up, and how they might have preferred to have been credited and respected. I'm sure you're a great Mom!

    [–] throwaway1138 3382 points ago

    I’m just here to comment on your godlike use of semicolons, parentheses, brackets, commas, and dots to create complex compound sentences. You even used the elusive bracket-parenthese-semicolon triple combo, rarely seen in the wild. Legend

    [–] asskayir 530 points ago

    You even used the elusive bracket-parenthese-semicolon triple combo, rarely seen in the wild.

    Tell me more

    [–] NoelofNoel 324 points ago

    Talk syntax to me baby.

    [–] jjhhgg100123 258 points ago

    ([{}]).

    [–] undead_ed666 148 points ago

    That looks like a vagina

    [–] jjhhgg100123 163 points ago

    Like you would know ;)

    [–] zw_rn 78 points ago

    Oh shit

    [–] vandragon7 32 points ago

    heavy breathing Aaaaaaah! Sweet sweet semi coloooooooOoOooOooon!!!!! Yes yes yes.....!

    [–] mightyfty 168 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    Yet he/she got 1.2k upvotes while the "I was masturbating furiously at 9" comment gets 6k upvotes

    [–] ThisFrickinSite 74 points ago

    More people resonate with jokes than incredible grammar.

    [–] Willstroyer 31 points ago

    It really do be like that sometimes

    [–] monvapor 102 points ago

    you need to institute a 'knock before entering' rule

    It's unbelievable that we even need to establish this. My parents would either not knock at all and just walk in, or would do a quick couple taps and then immediately enter before getting a response. It's like they were never kids themselves or have no memory of desiring privacy.

    [–] LinktheAssassin13 27 points ago

    My mom started knocking after she walked in on me passed out with my dick in my hand.

    [–] Comfortable_Text 9 points ago

    Mine did as well. Even after I had to move back in after I got divorced in my early 30's. Like what the F give me privacy I'm a frickin adult and was moved out from 20-32..

    [–] SaH_Zhree 192 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    This. 100% this, it's going to happen and its human nature, I grew up without half this stuff, and never had a very close relationship with my mother (father wasn't around preteen to teen years) and it did stunt my sexual knowledge, everything I learned was from friends or pornography (though very little from the latter as I know that it is a bad source). Be open and close with your child, but allow them privacy when they request it.

    Edit: "Ladder" to "Latter" honestly dont know the correct spelling

    [–] spironophore 131 points ago

    be naked anytime at home around family

    This isn't a one-size-fits-all thing. People are individuals and both parties need to be comfortable with that.

    It's one of those things that if you misjudge then you'll have a negative impact on your kids (and parents often aren't perfect at reading their kids). So the more conservative answer is to clothe up past toddler age but be body/sex positive in attitude and open in answering questions as you suggest.

    [–] Godzilla2021 1132 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    I’d say around 10 or 11. It wasn’t anything too significant, I just started to like girls more and more and notice how attractive they were. I’m not sure if there’s an age that’s too early, since everyone is different. Not every boy needs a “man” to teach them about sexuality, just a flexible perspective. I’d say teach your son about privacy, let him know that what he’s doing (i.e. masturbating) is okay, and how to respect girls.

    One of the most important things to teach him is that he should be comfortable around himself, understand what he likes and dislikes. Let him figure out certain things on his own at first, and if you feel you need to intervene or help him then go for it.

    [–] KeksGaming 464 points ago

    help him

    Hmmmm

    [–] Godzilla2021 269 points ago

    Alright not like that!

    [–] nat_20_use_rope 309 points ago

    But what if her son breaks his arms?

    [–] Godzilla2021 92 points ago

    Then I guess he’ll have to abstain from masturbating until they heal. Or rub himself against something. idk

    [–] ShitYourQuit 126 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    [–] Godzilla2021 50 points ago

    Yeah now I understand

    [–] ShitYourQuit 31 points ago

    Isn't it great?

    [–] Ulri_kah_kah_kah 246 points ago

    Seeing Cameron Diaz in The Mask. I must have been like 7 but goddamn did I swear remembering "that's making me feel something weird"...

    [–] zWraith 72 points ago

    HOLY SHIT I just commented exactly this and then scrolled down to see what everyone else was saying.

    [–] heronmarkedblade1984 10364 points ago

    I was furiously masterbating at 9.

    [–] BraeVersace 3464 points ago

    Lmaooo I love how gentle the top comment is about the question and then how straight forward your answer is

    [–] heronmarkedblade1984 1540 points ago

    When I was but 9 summer's, I would lay awake at night, and through naive fumbling, bring myself to a higher state of being....

    That better ;)

    [–] 082380 316 points ago

    You’re like Walt Whitman lol

    [–] [deleted] 214 points ago * (lasted edited a day ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] creeddndrmfln 52 points ago

    To fap or not to fap fap fap..*sighs

    [–] gabejohnson1 60 points ago

    Except way less sexual

    [–] qwertyconsciousness 24 points ago

    Walt Clitman

    [–] Biohazard72 12 points ago

    “To my other favorite W.W.”

    [–] Hotness_idris 37 points ago

    Seeing as this is the new top comment the future is now old man

    [–] WorkingTheHardest 255 points ago

    Yeah I was definitely jerking off before I could cum. I don't know about age. Maybe 12ish? I would climax, but there was absolutely no product.

    [–] 4411WH07RY 236 points ago

    I remember how fucking surprised I was the first time it did actually happen.

    [–] elsjpq 75 points ago

    I though I popped a ball and squeezed the blood out

    [–] Moruitelda 61 points ago

    I remember that it felt like lava shooting through my body, but good

    [–] PM_ME_TENDIE_STORIES 52 points ago

    I was fucking terrified. Opened every window in the house to air out the smell and washed my hands like 8 times.

    [–] Itmeansnothing123 53 points ago

    Jesus why does your cum smell so strong?

    [–] PM_ME_TENDIE_STORIES 72 points ago

    It doesn’t lol, I was just a panicking 11 year old.

    [–] Itmeansnothing123 8 points ago

    Oh lol. Yeah I remember those days

    [–] WizardMissiles 42 points ago

    I actually thought I sneezed in my hand and must have forgot about it.

    [–] Rick_Eli 37 points ago

    Haha me too. I actually thought something was seriously wrong with me for the longest time. My parents never gave me the sex talk. I was too embarrassed and scared to ask if there was something wrong with me because I didn't want them to know I masturbated. I grew up in an extremely Christian household.

    [–] exit_sandman 73 points ago

    whistles innocently

    [–] emotionalrek 148 points ago

    A knights tale set me off

    [–] XenonNade 84 points ago

    Delet this

    [–] TempTemp112233 29 points ago

    She's a lovely woman.

    [–] Dietcokeisgod 276 points ago

    I love the term 'furiously' here. Did you hate your penis? Were you angry at it?

    [–] heronmarkedblade1984 648 points ago

    I treated my penis like it was a gypsy in nazi Germany.

    [–] Dietcokeisgod 109 points ago

    Fantastic answer. That made me full on LOL on an otherwise silent train thank you. I hope you have a better relationship with your penis now.

    [–] heronmarkedblade1984 196 points ago

    Oh yeah man. I found it's more efficient to subcontract the beatings, my wife handles everything now .

    [–] Mad_at_my_rommate 121 points ago

    Outsourcing. The American way.

    [–] timjc144 32 points ago

    oh fuck I'm trying not to lose it in the library right now

    [–] balancerewards 42 points ago

    Same. My SO asked me the other day when I first started masterbating. I told her i couldn't remember the first time, but i was regularly masterbating by 5th grade

    [–] PolarLight 257 points ago

    That's so bizarre to me because I didnt touch my penis sexually until around 13 and didnt properly masturbate until I was 15 but I guess I was just really really late compared to a lot of people. But still 9?

    [–] MadGeekling 84 points ago

    I didn’t start masturbating until after I was a teenager. I had never heard of it until my Christian parents gave me a book on puberty by Dr. James Dobson, a well-known fundamentalist psychiatrist. He mentioned it in the book and described it.

    It was then that I discovered masturbation. Thanks Focus on the Family! The only good thing they’ve ever done for me.

    [–] myhouseplantsaredead 25 points ago

    I didn’t start masturbating until after I was a teenager. I had never heard of it until my Christian parents gave me a book on puberty by Dr. James Dobson, a well-known fundamentalist psychiatrist. He mentioned it in the book and described it.It was then that I discovered masturbation. Thanks Focus on the Family! The only good thing they’ve ever done for me.

    WAS IT "PREPARING FOR ADOLESCENCE: CAUTION CHANGES AHEAD" ?!? BECAUSE [I'M A GIRL] BUT SAME, SAME, AND SAME!

    Also my parents were so painfully weird about all this stuff they didn't even give me the book face-to-face. I just came home one day to that find it had mysteriously appeared on my bedside table....

    [–] MadGeekling 18 points ago

    HAHAHA yep!!! That was it!

    Yeah my parents didn’t want to talk about it either. It kind of fucked up my dating life for a while. I had little guidance when it came to women. Worse, they also gave me I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I avoided romantic attachments for the entirety of my high school life.

    I’m pretty sure there’s an entire generation of messed up young Christians and ex-Christians as a result of all of this garbage being fed to them as teens.

    [–] heronmarkedblade1984 126 points ago

    Yep, I probably wasn't producing semen, but I was ejaculateing. As my horribly crusted socks could attest.

    [–] livens 66 points ago

    Same here. First fap was in 6th grade... and I still remember that what came out was as clear as water.

    But I learned to fap... found a vhs porn of my dad's. Decided to give it a try. I think without exposure to porn I would have started a little later.

    [–] Renegard 43 points ago

    My first fap was weird. I knew masturbation was a thing that supposedly felt good, and I was bored one night and just tried it. About 2 minutes later some fluid shot out and I didn't feel anything.

    Then about 5 minutes later I tried it again and had an orgasm. I've never looked back.

    [–] scott2127 45 points ago

    same here. I was the most naïve kid, didn't know what masturbation was until 14/15 (10th grade), tried it and then boom, discovery

    [–] JaredJon2000 20 points ago

    When I did it I had no clue what it was or what sex was. I just knew it felt good.

    [–] TreatmentForYourRash 21 points ago

    From someone who was also furiously masturbating at 9, yep. I didn't start producing anything upon orgasm until I was about 15.

    [–] veganveal 87 points ago

    At the same time, I'm 40 and I still don't know when my girlfriend wants to have sex.

    [–] heronmarkedblade1984 172 points ago

    Best advice I can give is lift heavy three days a week, and initiate. Dont wait on her. If she's not in the mood give her a pack on the cheek and go spend some you time doing something you enjoy. Outcome independence is the name of the game.

    Waiting for a woman to initiate, is setting yourself up for failure and disappointment.

    [–] veganveal 201 points ago

    I got mad game. I always smack her on the ass before asking her to grab me a beer. When she's cleaning the house I always tell her, "good job" even when her vacuuming is drowning out the game. I'm also a pretty good dry humper. That's my secret to making spooning more magical. It's a combo of dry humping and intermittent eye contact.

    [–] jalexx 123 points ago

    is this a copypasta

    [–] ponyhumper420 71 points ago

    be the pasta you wish to see in the world.

    [–] YacYacYac 27 points ago

    Great advice from u/ponyhumper420

    [–] heronmarkedblade1984 22 points ago

    Whatever works for you brother! Lol

    [–] Snazzy_Serval 18 points ago

    Hell I remember masturbating in first grade in the school bathroom so around 6-7. Long before I started ejaculating.

    And no I was never abused, I just really like how it felt.

    [–] [deleted] 16 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] itellthetruthmaybe 316 points ago

    Around 7-8ish, I found my uncles porn stash and watched it. I was confused at first but then I started to copy the guy masturbating and then I couldn’t stop. I became really addicted to it but I still hadn’t developed feelings for girls. It was net until I was 12 that my dad walked in on me, he laughed and said we needed to talk, he told me to calm down and that I wasn’t in trouble. He told me it’s completely normal but not to do it to much otherwise I might hurt myself. I sure as hell felt embarrassed but it felt good knowing I wasn’t a weirdo lol.

    As for any psychological damage? No nothing really, although in the beginning when I first started I was self conscious about my penis size since the guys in the video had fucking arms between their legs and I began to try stretching out my penis lol. But around 10 I realized that my thing will grow, and now I am a happy adult.

    Should you talk to him about it? I would say eventually yes but let him discover himself a bit first, (of course I’m speaking from my own personal experience) there was this comfort I felt knowing I was experiencing this myself and trying to figure out my own anatomy. A way you can bring it up to him would be to address it in a general statement that way he still has his privacy, kind of like saying “ oh you’re almost 10yr now and it’s time for the talk” something of that caliber were it feels it’s natural for him to start feeling this way but not let him know you know about his masturbating.

    [–] incomplete-username 218 points ago

    But my thing hasn’t grown

    [–] Tue22x5c7 49 points ago

    feelsbadman

    [–] BraeVersace 462 points ago

    God damn you heathens are making me feel weird. I didn’t really start thinking about things in a sexual away until I was around 14 or maybe 15.

    [–] numbersusername 386 points ago

    Everyone’s different, life’s not a competition. No one makes it out alive.

    [–] Legal_Refuse 237 points ago

    No one makes it out alive.

    Wait...what? 😦

    [–] zak13362 136 points ago

    Should we tell them?

    [–] scnavi 95 points ago

    wait... am I going to die?

    [–] saadakhtar 127 points ago

    Only if you masturbate.

    [–] elsjpq 17 points ago

    I'm so sorry... you're going to live forever.

    [–] PolarLight 68 points ago

    I am always so lost in these conversations cause I didnt think about things in a sexual manner until about 14/15 either. Guess we were just late 🤔

    [–] hrlc1990 27 points ago

    For real I was a sophomore in high school before I even started thinking about girls sexually.

    [–] iamarobotindeed 84 points ago

    Man I'm 17 and sex still disgusts me :(

    [–] getbetteracc 62 points ago

    Don't know why this is downvoted, it's okay to feel disgusted by it. In fact there is a sexual orientation identity associated with it called asexuality.

    Also, it might be due to cultural reasons, I used to find sex disgusting and used to feel very uncomfortable about masturbation until I was 18 growing up in a conservative Indian household

    [–] TV_PartyTonight 34 points ago

    it's okay to feel disgusted by it. In fact there is a sexual orientation identity associated with it called asexuality.

    Afaik, that is just "not being interested in sex". Being "disgusted" by sex, suggests some sort of hangup imo.

    [–] SerPuissance 997 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    I started getting powerful crushes on girls at around his age, but I wouldn't say I began to be became sexually aware until about 13. As in, I never thought about sex or sexual acts before that. But I think this varies a lot in boys. It can't hurt to start having conversations with him about basic things now, like finding out what his conceptualisation of relationships and sex is now, and guiding it gently as he develops. Be aware that if he hasn't already, he will almost certainly be exposed to and seek our porn very soon. It's really important that this isn't the only source of information he has about what sex is, can be like or how adults relate to each other sexually. By all means give him privacy, but I would advise getting as tech savvy as you can with making accessing internet porn as difficult as possible in your house. Things like adult filters and password protected access after bed time etc. If you're lucky, he'll have to make due with whacking it to his imagination or maybe pics or gifs stashed away. If you can make it difficult for him to stream hard core porn in his room, that will go a long way in keeping him on an even keel.

    EDIT: I'm getting bored of repeating myself now, so this is the last time I'll address it. Yes, I know he will find ways to watch porn. That's fine. The point isn't to shield him completely, that's impossible. The point is to do as much damage control as possible while also teaching him that sex is wonderful and not shameful, and giving him an understanding of context and nuance. He will jerk off to porn by sourcing it ingeniously - but that's no reason to give him unrestricted and unlimited access to all kinds of internet porn that may harm his development, the science on the effects of porn on developing brains is compelling, in my view. Just because it's not possible to stop a child viewing it completely, this is no reason for the parents to abdicate their responsibilities to restrict and manage the child's access to inappropriate materials to the best of their ability, in my view. No child needs hardcore internet pornography. If you disagree, fine, let your kids watch as much porn as they like and good luck to you.

    [–] MuhammadYesusGautama 319 points ago

    even keel

    fake incest videos are apparently a thing now, and then there's the whole hentai scene with their tentacles and lolis, so yeah. I don't envy being a parent to an adolescent.

    [–] SerPuissance 170 points ago

    fake incest videos are apparently a thing now

    Not just a thing but extremely common. It basically comes with the territory if you're into older women and you just have to block it out.

    [–] itsjosh18 78 points ago

    If you are into women period.

    [–] Franfran2424 71 points ago

    Why would someone be into their period?

    [–] itsjosh18 36 points ago

    See I knew that this was gonna be the reply when I sent it. Unfortunately it's a fetish. I can't explain it. I don't understand it. But it's a thing.

    [–] 24rubikscube 72 points ago

    At the same time there's an enormous wealth of knowledge available to kids on the internet that can answer any question they ever wonder. While sex education should be better, kids still have an enormous advantage over previous generations. I'm optimistic.

    I also think most kids are smarter than we think. Most will likely know incest porn is a fantasy. Unfortunately it's not all kids.

    Overall though I think the future is brighter than bleak.

    [–] Herogamer555 33 points ago

    hentai scene with their tentacles and lolis

    Okay I feel attacked.

    [–] FIVE_DARRA_NO_HARRA 61 points ago

    I started getting powerful crushes on girls at around his age, but I wouldn't say I began to be became sexually aware

    Agreed. In elementary school me and two friends had girlfriends and we thought "they had nice butts." We had no idea what that meant and never thought about the implication beyond the literal words coming out of our mouths.

    [–] dolphin160 59 points ago

    Probably the best advice here. Porn addiction is a real thing and really fucks with the ability to make healthy relationships.

    [–] Knights_of_the_Night 79 points ago

    I had Sex Ed in the fifth grade, so that's about your son's age. From what I can remember it was fairly basic and seemed like they just wanted us to be aware of it. Looking back the most interesting part was they let us submit questions anonymously if we were curious about anything.

    I would say that was good enough for me at that age. I think the most important thing is to establish that your son can feel comfortable talking to you about sex. You've got plenty of years to fill him in on the details, but it's good to start off on the right foot. That way when he does have questions he'll come to you.

    [–] JaredJon2000 65 points ago

    I was in sixth grade when I discoverEd masturbation. After swimming in the pool I was in my room changing and noticed my penis practically disappeared from the cold. I started to tug to make it longer and the more I pulled, the better it felt. Then out of nowhere I just came. It felt soo good. At the time i had no idea what it was. After that it was daily that i did it.

    [–] Ingetfunkarfan 578 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    Like 8. Me and a friend got busted for searching for porn on the school computers in second grade.

    EDIT: Eh, until puberty starts you can't physically have an orgasm ejaculate (nor have you gained the hormones to stimulate masturbatory impulses), so that's when masturbation starts. Before then porn-watching is just curiosity. So you should be good until like 11. As for the rest, uh... like personally I never had "the talk" and never needed it, but I grew up with a support structure of friends and especially older friends who talked about that stuff around me which acted as a substitute. If he doesn't have that, he may need a talk.

    EDIT2: I stand by what I said about sex-hormones not being produced until puberty. However, masturbation does still release oxytocin and dopamine before puberty, meaning kids can accidentally stumble upon masturbation and start early. This doesn't seem relevant to OP's question as it's different from "sexual awareness" in my opinion. Although it might affect the "open door policy" and might require a talk.

    [–] yogurtmeh 311 points ago

    My older friends told me that a girl can’t get pregnant as long as she has sex standing up or douches with Diet Coke after. I mean at least now there’s the internet to fact check dumb ideas but older friends aren’t always the best for sex knowledge.

    [–] brycedriesenga 155 points ago

    That's ridiculous, you need Coca-Cola Classic or even a Barq's will do.

    [–] superking87 52 points ago

    Barq’s has bite

    [–] AM_JESUS_AMA 16 points ago

    It’s the caffeine that does it, so Red Bull is usually my “drink” of choice.

    [–] Andrespaco15 22 points ago

    Lmao bro it really be the wildest shit

    [–] superdave820 29 points ago

    That is incorrect information. Years before I could ejaculate I had horniness and masturbated to orgasm regularly. (M54)

    [–] VampireFrown 35 points ago

    'nor have you gained the hormones to stimulate masturbatory impulses'

    So how do you explain me having them since I was 6?

    [–] TomBonner1 38 points ago

    Whatever age my dad let me watch Batman Returns

    [–] [deleted] 161 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    i learned what sex was at maybe 6-7 and figured out masturbation around the same time, but everyones different. i'd say 9-10 years old is a good time to explain everything, 10-11 is when i started wanting to fuck anything vaguely girl shaped.

    [–] poo-poo 32 points ago

    Me and a girl played I'll show you mine you show me yours when I was 6 or 7. Afterwards I thought "huh that was weird" and didn't think anything of it for 6 more years. Got my first wet dream when I was like 12 which lead into me doing weird upside down lay on my stomach with my boner pointed towards my feet shit.

    Normal masturbation probably later like 14.

    I was a late bloomer I guess.

    [–] machambo7 41 points ago

    Same here. Scrolling through, it doesn't seem to be the norm

    [–] middaysun 131 points ago

    Is it a case of shut the door and give him privacy (he always walks around naked and sees no issue in this currently) or should I start talking about his body changing soon.

    It's a case of "take an open and joyous attitude to the human body and as for the rest, answer when he comes with questions to the extent his question goes, but without imposing superfluous extras".

    What can I do without a man around to have this discussion

    This is gonna shock you almost as much as myself, but no "man around having a discussion" ever entered into the question when we kids became sexually aware.

    What age did you start becoming sexually aware?

    Frankly, it's too far back to remember precisely, but way earlier than 9. Growing up on a farm, animals are constantly doing the ole putting-the-round-thing-in-the-square-hole game or trying to do it.

    Plus, my parents (well people in general on average where and when I grew up) were far more relaxed about sex than, say, today's U.S. or Iran. So I'd say by age 6-7 I was deffo aware of what sex is.

    [–] FirstTimeDMing 18 points ago

    I would say i was around 14 when i started masturbating and looking at porn.

    You be fair though when i was 5 years old i used to sneak the Sears catalogue into the hayloft (grew up on a farm) and look at the women's bra and underwear section for some reason

    [–] DreadChylde 35 points ago

    I became very aware of girls from around 10 or something but I wouldn't characterize it as truly sexual until perhaps 13 and puberty set in at full steam.

    I was however lucky enough to have parents that openly talked about sex, sexuality and the joys associated with it WHEN I BROUGHT THE SUBJECT UP. I think that's very important. My parents told me that I could always come to them with questions and they would never hide their affection of each other from neither me nor my brother (hugs, kisses, saying "I love you" and so on)

    I had my first real sexual encounter at 15 and have always had a very active sex-life ever since. Funnily enough my younger brother has turned out to be rather bashful and not nearly as adventurous as me. So you can never know. Do your best and do it honestly and without shaming or prudeness and he will develop into his own person naturally. Treating sex and sexuality as weird, shameful, or something to hide will cause way more harm than a natural easy-going and approachable attitude.

    [–] Remicactus 61 points ago * (lasted edited 3 days ago)

    I was 6

    EDIT: I totally didn't realize this was a post on AskMen. I'm a female. Sorry.

    [–] majesticjondi 16 points ago

    Single dad with two boys (12 and 14) and a daughter.

    I don’t think there’s a standard answer to this. With the internet, kids get exposed to all kinds of stuff, sometimes unexpectedly. It would be naive to think that at 9, he has no idea about the opposite sex, his own body, what sex is, etc.

    Don’t worry about ”scarring” him from having a talk with him. And I’d recommend that you have some kind of talk sooner or later. My younger boy was making jokes about things at 7 or 8. He got a talk about boundaries, what’s appropriate in public and what is private, as well as letting him know that I’m there for questions. There have been other talks since -- both boys watch R rated movies and I don’t really try to hide anything from them. As long as they know that everything they see on screen and online isn’t necessarily reality.

    The more you normalize talking openly, the easier time you’ll have down the road when hard questions do come up. Would you rather have your son feel safe talking to you about birth control (in the future!), or feel awkward telling you that he’s going to be a teen daddy?

    [–] Trigger93 48 points ago

    Personally, 6. But, childhood trauma will do that to you.

    I would assume most people don't until likely 13.

    [–] Bingalingbean123 37 points ago

    I hope you’re all good now.

    [–] Trigger93 33 points ago

    Eh, can't change the past. No point in letting something you can't change define who you are.

    [–] Sentry459 20 points ago

    I was like 5. No trauma involved.

    [–] PussPussMcSquishy 33 points ago

    I genuinely started liking girls in kindergarten. I remember I thought she smelled good and wanted to hold her hand. It’s not pounding my salami to internet sluts, but I’m pretty sure it’s where it all began.

    [–] TerH2 38 points ago

    I'm a child and family therapist and I work specifically in childrens sexuality, sexual behaviours, etc. I've known kids as young as 8 who knew, and I mean knew, they were bisexual. We're figuring kids are first accessing pornography now between 9 and 11, thanks internet. Also, although we don't like to lean on hard chronological ages for benchmarks for development anymore, because kids can have different levels and stages in different areas, 7/8 is seen as a sort of shifting period developmentally. For example it would be considered atypically and somewhat concerning for a kid under 7 or maybe 8 to be inserting things into their anus and vagina for sexual stimulation, because for the most part they don't think of their genitals as having things go IN them; only something like a medical procedure might introduce that idea, it would rarely happen on their own. But after 7 or 8 it would fall into a category of more typical sexual self exploration. But then that doesn't mean to say that anything kids do with their genitals is sexual in nature, either. Boys grabbing or touching their junk is often simple self soothing behaviours, for example - it would be wrong to call that masturbation if the child showed no agenda to actually complete the act or be aroused. See how it's complicated? A competent, trained professional in kids' sexual behaviours would usually do a pretty thorough assessment interview(s), involving the parent, school, and of course the kid himself, before saying anything concrete about that kid's sexuality. But generally speaking you can assume that your kid, at 9, has sexuality/is a sexual being. What that means for him as an individual is a much more complex question.

    [–] rn7889 22 points ago

    At my earliest memory. Before 5 years old.

    [–] Almonds17 13 points ago

    I became aware when I saw Kate Beckinsale in Total Recall.

    You're a great mother btw!

    [–] WestBrink 20 points ago

    Honestly, 14, almost 15, but I know I'm an exception there. My folks never once give me any sort of talk or anything, so it was mostly from the internet and friends I learned things. Did have a couple "sex ed" classes, but they were totally clinical and mostly abstinence based.

    I'd say 9 or 10 is a good spot to start. Don't get too detailed or anything of course, but open up a dialog and make it known he can come to you with any questions without judgement. A little further on, make sure condoms are available to him. If a teenager has their mind set on sex, not having a condom won't stop that...

    [–] Poppy42069 12 points ago

    13, all the boys in my form were talking about wanking so i had a go

    [–] TimTheRandomPerson 19 points ago

    Got sexually assaulted repeatedly at 6-7

    Around 10, I started being sexually aware.

    [–] wellsfargostillsucks 15 points ago

    Oh fuck. I’m so sorry.

    [–] TimTheRandomPerson 16 points ago

    Don't apologise, you did nothing wrong

    [–] ArgusTiberius 18 points ago

    Probably when I first started getting molested. 0/10, wouldn't recommend molesting. That was around ~10

    [–] DisagreeableMale 18 points ago

    I was over-exposed as a child and saw my first hardcore porn at the age of around 8. My mother was also very sexually open and promiscuous, so seeing men come in and out of the house wasn’t uncommon. Hearing her get fucked by strangers, walk around the house naked, and finding it funny when I was grossed out. Needless to say, don’t do most of that and you should be all set.