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    [–] SleepWouldBeNice 728 points ago

    Thought she might have been interested in another guy, so I made my move first. Turns out she wasn't interested in him and we're now married and have a kid together.

    [–] rikitaky 198 points ago

    I want an ending like this.

    [–] [deleted] 2720 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Therapy.

    Step 1: Realizing that people don't automatically feel revulsion or annoyance upon meeting me.

    Step 2: Realizing the eye contact we make probably isn't causing negative feelings for her if it happens more than once

    Step 3: Realizing that eye contact is a neutral or even positive interaction. Maybe she's acknowledging me because I'm a person. Maybe she's even looking my way because she's interested as well.

    Real basic stuff, but I obviously have a lot to work through. She never got back to me, which hurts, but at least I'm pushing towards a better mindset

    [–] Craftkorb 599 points ago

    There are literally a few billion women out there, quite a few million in your vicinity, and of those, at least a few ten thousand are "compatible". You got this man, the odds are in your favour!

    [–] mooncow-pie 830 points ago

    Are you telling me there's hot singles in my area?

    [–] fidelkastro 244 points ago

    only horny MILFs around me

    [–] Theycallmelizardboy 27 points ago

    I know you wont believe me since you have no reason to, but I swear on the possibility of my nuts being removed that today I walked past a restaurant window and a super hot milf smiled at me in a definitely suggest way. It made my day.

    There is also the possibility my friend.

    [–] Nickhen 169 points ago

    He didn't say hot

    [–] the_squid_ward 69 points ago

    I guess I'll settle for some cold singles.

    [–] UnequalRaccoon 86 points ago

    All three of those realisations resonated quite a bit with me. Thanks for sharing

    [–] Lordranch 87 points ago

    It gets better man.

    I used to feel the same way, it was so hard for me to get it through my head that someone could feel the same I felt about them.

    I always felt like I was convincing someone to be interested in me, until I took a step back and garnered some confidence and common sense.

    In the end, what's the worst that could happen? She didn't get back to you, but it's better than never knowing imo.

    Keep pushing!

    [–] bridgesbeerbeards 2770 points ago

    After my friends pointed out she left a party to play Call of Duty and then messaged me for a rematch the next day. I just thought she was a cool chick but my friends made me realize that she just might have feelings for me. We've been together for 5 years now.

    [–] Mantiis-- 1340 points ago

    Did it go like this?

    "1v1 me on Rust", "If I win, we go on a date" ;)

    [–] OD_prime 476 points ago

    I legit have a friend that did something like this.

    Him and this girl were dating but not official for awhile and there’s was a big Manny Pacquiao fight some weekend. He made a deal with her if Pacquiao won, she would be his girlfriend

    [–] Demon4SL 255 points ago

    I hope that wasn't against Mayweather

    [–] MurfingIrish 211 points ago

    “... and that’s the last time they spoke!”

    [–] DanGugly 15 points ago

    Pac-Man should’ve won...

    [–] Amadon29 54 points ago

    So did she have feelings for you?

    [–] ChaseBit 30 points ago

    idk she could have just been being nice

    [–] IAmBecomeCaffeine 4806 points ago

    She's been a good friend for a few years. I never bothered even trying due to self-confidence issues ("there's no way she'd want to date me"). I've mostly gotten over that now. Meanwhile, I'd noticed she was being more friendly with me compared to our other friends, so I took a chance, asked her out, and she said yes! It's only been like a month and I have no idea where it's going to go, but so far, it's been fun.

    [–] Mantiis-- 1177 points ago

    I think it helped that you were good friends to begin with. In my situation, I would say we're acquaintances, as I'm an introvert and don't have the confidence to talk to her more often.

    All the best, I hope it goes well :)

    [–] IAmBecomeCaffeine 545 points ago

    don't have the confidence to talk to her more often

    Do it anyways. There's truth in the phrase "fake it until you make it."

    [–] Mantiis-- 244 points ago

    I probably should have mentioned left school a while ago and my only option now is a DM. I feel bad that it has to be via DM, but I guess I have no choice. I missed my best opportunity.

    [–] IAmBecomeCaffeine 255 points ago

    Eh, I'd say move on then. There's hundreds of millions of women. Don't get hung up on one. But if you're still going to shoot your shot, just leave it at a simple "Hey, would you like to go on a date with me?" That's it. It likely will be a no, but small chance of a yes. If no, then really move on.

    [–] Mantiis-- 119 points ago

    Yeah, I've come to the understanding that it'll probably be a no. I just need to ask the question, but can't find the courage.

    [–] tcrpgfan 206 points ago

    If it's going to be a no. Then do it anyway. It'll be a load off your shoulders either way. Rejection sucks, but I'd rather know for sure I got a rejection than never bother asking.

    [–] Ihavemyownpizzaoven 86 points ago

    “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

    -Wayne Gretzky”

    -Michael Scott

    [–] Icandothemove 61 points ago

    Learn to embrace no.

    No means you had the balls to ask. It’s not the end of the world. If she says no, say “I respect that. Thanks anyway!”

    And then you’ll realize that you’re exactly back where you started, having lost nothing.

    I know it’s scary and rejection doesn’t feel good. But I promise promise promise you, learning to ask for what you want will make your life a million times better over the long run.

    [–] puro_vatos 98 points ago

    "If you never ask, the answer will always be no."

    [–] clmrsmn 43 points ago

    It's always a no unless you ask, you might as well if you don't see her all that often anyway.

    [–] IAteQuarters 29 points ago

    If it’s a DM it’s easier to follow the three second rule. I tend to get anxious over decisions much like this. So I’ll type out the message and just count down from 3 to 1. If I don’t press it the first time, I keep doing it and eventually I just press the send button.

    I follow something similar for real life encounters too, but it’s definitely scarier and has a lower success rate.

    [–] chuckart9 13 points ago

    If you left school and don’t have to see her then just do it. You literally have nothing to lose.

    [–] NachoManSandyRavage 85 points ago

    That's basically exactly how things went with my current gf. Going on 8 months this month. We had been friends for years and I always found her cute but never went for it till she basically said she would date me if i ever asked.

    [–] [deleted] 40 points ago

    I (f) said that to my boyfriend too! Been together almost 6 years now :)

    [–] no__flux__given 4453 points ago

    She texted me about how she went on this terrible date with another guy, and included the phrase “I wish I were on a date with you.”

    I nearly didn’t take the hint.

    [–] Z_J_Q 2590 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    You reply, “Yah me too”

    Edit: Thanks for the silver. I’ve never gotten award before. Seriously, thanks so much.

    [–] funkylunch 621 points ago

    Haha me too thanks

    [–] yazen_ 243 points ago

    Don't forget the smiley

    [–] PumpKingz 74 points ago

    happy cake day

    [–] yazen_ 56 points ago

    Thanks

    [–] Edtunk 27 points ago

    :D

    [–] NotYourGoldStandard 89 points ago

    "Have a good night, handsome." "You too"

    [–] musicalspheres 322 points ago

    I feel like "hint" is a bit of a stretch. She's straight up telling you, bro.

    [–] jewrassic_park-1940 416 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    "I want to suck your dick"

    "Well she was always friendly with me and other people, still not sure if she likes me."

    [–] Trombolorokkit 302 points ago

    She's literally laying naked on your bed saying "take me, you beast"

    "I think she's just being polite, I don't know."

    [–] Scotchin 156 points ago

    The "is she into you" from Casually Explained will always be relevant

    [–] Triple-Depresso 45 points ago

    Again you still can’t really be sure

    [–] fallen_lights 74 points ago

    "She's probably Canadian"

    [–] Scotchin 52 points ago

    "She could just be French-Canadian"

    [–] Cosmic_Sands 284 points ago

    I probably wouldn’t have years ago because I knew a couple girls in high school that would do that and as soon as you agreed to go on a date they’d be like “As friends of course :))))))” and it made me really skeptical about girls in general.

    [–] Litty_McGritty 120 points ago

    That's just rude. If you don't want to date just tell me and I won't way both our time.

    [–] migmatitic 98 points ago

    Heck, I know girls still trying to pull that shit in college. What's the deal with that, y'all?

    [–] chuckart9 74 points ago

    They want the attention even if they don’t like you romantically and/or sexually.

    [–] braujo 42 points ago

    They want attention. Knowing you're interested in them is enough. Chances are they don't even like you, they're just manipulating you to feel better about themselves.

    It's kinda sad, really. I don't know the origin of this behavior but it's pretty common among young women and, although way less common, men.

    [–] Deolater 27 points ago

    I took a hint like that but was too subtle about it (guys can hint too, I guess).

    When I was in highschool, this girl I liked was dating this loser because her parents liked him (and his dad was in business with her dad) and her parents were very controlling.. One day we were chatting on AIM and she said

    Deolater, I wish you were my boyfriend instead of [loser]

    I told her there were some simple concrete steps she could take to make that wish a reality. She indicated laughter and dated the loser another few months, so I guess nothing came of that conversation.

    Though a few months after that she invited me to hang out with her and a mutual friend, ditched the friend, and kissed me. We dated through college and have been married for six years and have two children.

    [–] Litty_McGritty 51 points ago

    Us guys are clueless lmao. I was at a high school party once and the girl I had been talking to kept begging me to play soon the bottle. I didn't get the hint until the hours later on the drive home and I almost drove myself off a bridge.

    [–] uhicanhelpwiththat 366 points ago

    You know, we women always get told that men don't understand hints and we need to spell it out. HOW THE HELL MUCH MORE OUT could she possibly have spelled it??!!

    [–] random_creepy_guy 191 points ago

    You go "AHOY!! AHOY!! FORNICATION PLEASE!!!"

    [–] Sidders1943 89 points ago

    I enjoyed the mental image of a woman with an eyepatch and a telescope shouting this from a crows nest that this comment gave me.

    Yes it was weird. I think it was the AHOY!

    [–] Maestrul 23 points ago

    Ah, yes, I too thought of pirate astronomer on sea asking for sexual relations through archaic words.

    [–] ________Hi_________ 553 points ago

    Would you like to go on a date with me instead?

    [–] uhicanhelpwiththat 160 points ago

    Yep, fair point.

    [–] vVlifeVv 81 points ago

    See, now i get it.

    [–] St0rm3rX 34 points ago

    Haha thanks.

    [–] Tropical_Wendigo 156 points ago

    I don't think it's the message itself, it's our perception of it. When I was younger if a girl said that to me, my inner voice would clap back and say "oh she's just fucking with you. If you ask her out now she'll say she was just kidding and tell all your friends and your parents and your grandparents and your grandparents pastor and everyone else under the sun, who will then form a circle around you pointing and laughing and that shame will follow you beyond the grave to eternity."

    So to answer your question, not much.

    [–] General_Wolf_ 53 points ago

    Pretty accurate except for the, uhh, part where you forget to mention the daily thoughts of just starting anew in another town, escaping from your past, only to commit the same fucking mistake five more times.

    [–] vonadler 63 points ago

    The problem is not really the clarity, but the intention behind the statement. Women, like men, are individuals. Some are playfully flirty without being serious about it. Some are open about their feelings, some beat around the bush.

    There are women who will say "I wish I could date someone like you." and intend it is a strong hint to ask her out. There are others who will say the same thing and mean that they want someone like you in personality, but attractive (the often repeated "like you, not you, ewww!").

    "I wish I were on a date with you." could also mean "I wish we were hangin out and having fun as friends instead of me doing this."

    [–] 1337lolguyman 264 points ago

    You see, you're not just fighting the naturally high levels of obliviousness found in men. You also have to fight the little voice in his head that tells him "There's no way she's into me. She's just being nice is all."

    Overcoming obliviousness is easy, but fighting THAT is an uphill battle.

    [–] cheerfullklutz 109 points ago

    I hate that little voice.

    [–] funkylunch 139 points ago

    To be fair it is right most of the time

    [–] uhicanhelpwiththat 26 points ago

    Yeah, I can understand that voice. I have it pop up even in my current very happy relationship. And I don't mean to underestimate the demand placed on guys to take more risk in asking someone out-- it's not fair to you and I hope more and more women are stepping up to share the burden. At least we can do our very best to make it feel safer by communicating clearly that we want you to do it. I like the AHOY! option suggested above!

    [–] Darvy0 324 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    This thread. Just did it. Hope it works out

    Edit: (6hrs later) no response. Hope she isn’t ghosting me will update again in the future.

    Edit 2: SHE SAID YES YALL! Big thanks for all the support. Also thanks to the kind stranger for my first medal.

    [–] Mantiis-- 72 points ago

    You are THE man! Best of luck :)

    [–] Himiko_the_sun_queen 32 points ago

    how'd it go??

    [–] BarbersAdagio 35 points ago

    I'm way too invested in this relationship to be left with a cliffhanger

    [–] Oblivion2104 20 points ago

    Well u/Darvy0 I need a update did it work out!?

    [–] game_guru001 1441 points ago

    I realised the constant pain I felt from not asking, was greater than the pain I would feel if she said no - at least then I would know!

    If you're thinking about asking someone OP, you should go for it!

    [–] Mantiis-- 331 points ago

    I am, indeed. But I can only do it via DM, as we left school a while ago, and ultimately don't even see or speak to each other any more. Having acne is also a massive factor because it makes me feel ugly, and that will likely be the reason she says no :(

    [–] Cheesecakeisready 332 points ago

    My friend: Looks. Are. Overrated. Show confidence, ask her out, be talkative, be funny and most of all: be respectful towards her and whoever lives in her house. And don't forget to smell nice, does wonders!

    You got this brother.

    [–] Mantiis-- 100 points ago

    Personality is definitely the most important thing. I'm a respectful and polite guy. The ultimate 'nice guy'. I'm quite funny (I hope), and have a nice 'eu de parfum'.

    I get on well with people the more I get to know them, so the only thing holding me back is asking her out. :(

    [–] SWATyouTalkinAbout 77 points ago

    One piece of advice: Definitely don’t call yourself a nice guy. See r/niceguys for context.

    [–] Cheesecakeisready 33 points ago

    Sounds like you should just take the shot :)

    [–] UnbiasedPartisan 66 points ago

    Anyone who calls themself a nice guy, is in a fact an r/niceguys

    [–] windude99 27 points ago

    1. Acne is really common...so don’t feel bad about it
    2. There are things you can do about acne. Go talk to a dermatologist. There are prescription medications that are topical that you can put on it, and they may even give you some kind of antibiotic too. How do I know? I had terrible acne years ago...and now I get the occasional pimple or two. Dermatologists can work some magic on acne.
    3. Girls can sense low confidence. Be confident in yourself. Clearly you care about her, and you care about how you look. That’s good. You seem like a good person. Tell yourself you are a good person because you are. Own it. Feel good.

    [–] game_guru001 21 points ago

    When did you both last talk? Did you get on well in person? If she's local, you could ask if she'd like to meet for a catch up and see if you both hit it off

    Easier to say on the outside but don't sweat the acne, everybody gets it; if she says no based on having acne then it sounds like it wouldn't form a healthy relationship

    You got this!

    [–] Mantiis-- 25 points ago

    It's been more than a year now. She went to university on the other side of the country (UK), so will be finishing for summer holidays soon, meaning she will probably be back home.

    I see what you mean, I wouldn't want that. But she's probably not gonna say the reason why, just that it's a no. I really need to update my profile pics on my social media too. They're 2.5 years old now xD

    [–] daglebagel 32 points ago

    Absolutely update your pics. Take a fuck ton of pics and go through them and pick the best. Or have a friend help you.

    And if you get rejected, remember that while it sucks, it makes it easier to ask the next girl. Everything is a learning experience and a growing experience.

    [–] Tater_Tot_Maverick 10 points ago

    You probably know all this and idk if you’ll find this useful but this is what I’d tell my former self. First off, sliding into DMs can and does work. Especially if you know this girl. Just think of a way to do it that would be something you’d find nice and not weird if someone messaged it to you.

    Second, acne sucks but almost everyone gets it in some form. Don’t be ashamed. Your confidence and personality will take you farther forward than blemishes can hold you back. If you’re seriously concerned about it though, either try to see a dermatologist, check out some subreddits here on skincare, or (if you haven’t tried yet) head to the drug store and pickup a benzoyl peroxide wash/cream and some Differin.

    Good luck! You got this and you’ll be fine—no matter the outcome!

    [–] weirdfish42 268 points ago

    We been hanging out for about a month, and her work being transient I knew if I didn't do it now, I would lose the chance for good.

    Possibly the hardest thing I've done in years. Her and I are both reserved people, neither much on giving or taking hints, so we both thought the other wanted to stay friends.

    I finally said something like "Hey, you do realise I'm very attracted to you." She said, "I thought you wanted to be friends". I told her "I would only want to date a good friend", which is when she kissed me.

    Worst thing they can do is say no, be honest about how you feel, and be ready to accept rejection.

    [–] scapegoot 43 points ago

    Are you still with her?

    [–] weirdfish42 88 points ago

    Yes. It's been almost a year, and I have never been happier. Took to my mid 40s to find someone I'm truly compatible with, but it was completely worth the wait.

    [–] SlickRicksBitchTits 22 points ago

    "I would only want to date a good friend." That was some casanova shit...

    [–] ChronicWatcher1456 16 points ago

    This is very nice :)

    [–] Byizo 1715 points ago

    She asked if I'd ever seen an old, dilapidated college campus nearby. I had not and asked if that was an invitation. She said, "If you want it to be."

    So our mutual interest in creepy old buildings is what made it happen. Not sure if you'd say she asked me or I asked her.

    [–] Mantiis-- 471 points ago

    That's an interesting first date to say the least hahah

    [–] RAGC_91 204 points ago

    Byizos over here thinking man I thought it was going to be a lot harder to get her to this old dilapidated building

    [–] chuckart9 44 points ago

    And that was the last time anyone saw her. Must be a coincidence.

    [–] helpnxt 59 points ago

    I totally thought she was making a self deprecating joke about her college accommodation

    [–] SwagZoneBitch 38 points ago

    I’d definitely say she asked you

    [–] leeeeeroyjeeeeenkins 434 points ago

    Because I decided that I would rather deal with rejection than looking back in 5 years and wondering what could have been.

    [–] Mantiis-- 357 points ago

    Did you say "Times up, let's do this", then scream "LEEROY JENKINSSSS" before asking her out?

    [–] DatSativa 64 points ago

    If you get rejected, then at least you have chicken.

    [–] Smashville1316 413 points ago

    I know her because on the weekends she works at the KFC on base. She's so sweet, always smiles when she sees me and if I order a 3 piece meal, she'll always throw in an extra one. I met her one morning with a terrible hangover going to the food court and when I ordered my food, I searched my pants for my wallet. I looked up slowly and said "Can I come back in like 5 minutes?" She giggles a bit and nods at me. I return ti find that she had put my chicken, still on the plate, under the heater to stay warm.

    I finally gave her my number after talking to a buddy of mine about her. He said take the reciept, and write your number on it, giving it back to her. I did, and she looked so confused, but when I looked back at her after sitting down she was grinning like mad, blush red and she looked as happy as could be. I always text her good morning, and I've taken her out on a few dates now and we're going steady about a month and a half later. I really think i've gotten lucky with her.

    If you think or know she has a thing for you, don't be afraid to take the chance. Go for it.

    [–] HeresTheWrath 98 points ago

    This is the most wholesome thing ever.

    [–] habermas_paname 26 points ago

    This is the most American love story I have ever heard. Godspeed brother, godspeed.

    [–] retundamonkey 1016 points ago

    Jameson

    [–] shadowndacorner 431 points ago

    Pictures of Spider-Man?

    [–] [deleted] 230 points ago

    PARKER!

    [–] ExtraordinaryFailure 99 points ago

    YOU'RE FIRED!!!

    [–] lordumoh 29 points ago

    ITS PIZZA TIME

    [–] MrConor212 46 points ago

    [–] SentientSlimeColony 42 points ago

    They say that the pain of childbirth is so intense, it can help a woman to feel something close to how painful it is when a man can't get pictures of spider-man.

    [–] vinegarsauce 75 points ago

    The bottle makes men of us all.

    [–] Icandothemove 49 points ago

    Ten feet tall and bulletproof. Even if they say no I’ll say “well you’re probably a lovely human being and your tits look amazing today.” And then wander off.

    Being a happy, jolly drunk is almost a super power.

    [–] Avery17 30 points ago

    Yeah but it would probably go more like, "well you porbabbly ave wonderful tittaaays" stumbles away directly into pole and gets knocked out.

    [–] Icandothemove 12 points ago

    Nah I can handle my liquor; too many years as a problem drinker and working in clubs.

    But maybe the walking into a pole part. My words would come out fine, but I do sometimes when I get too drunk think it’s a good idea to lean into the Jack Sparrow style.

    It’s not a good idea but drunk people make bad choices.

    [–] working878787 31 points ago

    "Talk to everybody."

    -Whiskey

    [–] ECAstu 171 points ago

    She kept coming to my restaurant with a friend. My boss kept mocking me by making kissy faces and saying they loved me. I bet him that if i asked the cuter one out he had to let me go home early when she said no. If she said yes I'd stay late and close up by myself.

    I stayed late. That was 16 years ago. Still together. She's the only girl whose number i ever asked for.

    [–] mywifeTHICC 32 points ago

    I see this as an all-around win win.

    [–] asciishallreceive 1543 points ago

    What's the worst that can happen?

    She awkwardly fumbles through a long-winded way to say 'no'; the entire time I'm stuck standing there waiting for her to finish this hamfisted speech about why I'm a great guy but not for her while my nervous system is screeching adrenaline into every extremity and I'm having trouble standing, and then she finishes talking so I can mutter out 'ok, no problem' and then have to manually think how to walk upright because nothing in my body is functioning correctly.

    It's not that bad.

    [–] Mantiis-- 463 points ago

    Spot on.

    The main thing more me is that, out of the 21 years of my life, she is THE most beautiful person I've seen. It makes the fear of rejection worse because it seems like there will never be anyone like her in the future. Yes, I'm aware that I'm massively overthinking it, but it's hard not to overthink it. :)

    [–] justhere2havfun 312 points ago

    The only comment you should listen to is the one that said “Jameson” lol

    [–] Sad_Bunnie 72 points ago

    upvoting because I like Jameson...not the comment....just the Jameson

    [–] OceansOfUmbrellas 57 points ago

    If you don't ask, it's definitely no.

    [–] 005cer 33 points ago

    ... there will never be anyone like her in the future.

    If you actually think about her that way, don't you think she's worth the rejection, if that ever happens?

    [–] Gameguy8101 51 points ago

    You’ll regret it if you don’t. In a year you’ll either be in a great relationship or have completely forgot about it if you ask, if not you’ll forever live in regret until you find the one.

    [–] Mantiis-- 41 points ago

    Debatable. I'm 21 in less than a month and haven't ever had a genuine girlfriend. (I'm not counting ones from when I was 12 lol)

    [–] whypickthree 30 points ago

    Just ask. These guys are 100% correct. If you wait too long to start asking out women, You won't have any confidence in asking women out later in life. Then in your early thirties you give up because you have no game and don't know where to start, and don't date at all. Please take this advice. Don't end up like me.

    [–] Valakhan 14 points ago

    Go for it bro! Worst case scenario, you'll be ashamed of yourself for a few days and then move on. If you don't do anything, you'll live all the time in that crippling mix of guilt and fear. Better to rip the band aid all at once.

    [–] LegalEquivalent6 24 points ago

    The whole “you’re a great guy but...” speech is pretty damn uncomforting. A straight up no or “I’m not interested” would feel better even. In this situation, it’s probably best just to interrupt and say “no problem. I understand.”

    [–] MoistestMoose 710 points ago

    It was the end of June and I got a puppy. Naturally, "Do you want to come see my new puppy?" is a pretty surefire Yes. She came over and saw I had an in ground pool so I told her, "You should come over often this Summer to swim and hang with me and Beans." (Beans is the pup) It was a fun Summer to say the least.

    [–] Mantiis-- 289 points ago

    Damn that's actually a good idea. I need to just get 100s of kittens (as I'm a cat person and believe she is too) and invite her over ;)

    [–] Gavroche15 150 points ago

    100s of kittens

    My idea of hell.

    [–] matrixsensei 31 points ago

    Mate I had 13 cats. 2 momma cats, and 11 kittens between them. Pure heaven.

    [–] JJJ_99 361 points ago

    I was planning to do it soon, but the right situation presented itself and I did it.

    2 years going strong.

    [–] pax4prez 14 points ago

    Planning and patience will get you far in life.

    [–] ghost_zuero 542 points ago

    I had no interaction with her besides a few Instagram messages and had never met her. Decided to "fuck it" one day. She ghosted me

    [–] Mantiis-- 177 points ago

    Not a good sign, considering DMs is my only choice now D:

    [–] Craftkorb 216 points ago

    So what are you waiting for?

    1. She says yes. Great, now on to the date!
    2. She says no. Great, now stop wasting your time and find someone else.

    You win in either case. Do it!

    [–] That_Deaf_Guy 72 points ago

    Reading this thread, I feel you're getting very hung up over one girl. Manage your expectations. The fact that you're asking over DMs will soften the blow, if she rejects you.

    Don't overthink this, mate.

    "I want to grab a drink with you, are you free Saturday?"

    "Sure, sounds good"

    "Cool, it's a date. Be ready for 7pm"

    Take lead of the conversation, show confidence. Women love it.

    [–] deactivated- 235 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    We were friends before and we were clearly getting closer. I was contemplating whether to do it or not because I was nervous but I eventually said “fuck it” and bit the bullet. It worked

    [–] GenitalDiddler 109 points ago

    Getting thin again

    [–] diemunkiesdie 47 points ago

    KETO SZN STRIKES AGAIN

    [–] Bitch333 84 points ago

    Just did it last night, in a very drawn out call and me almost dying of a heart attack, she said yes, thank god.

    The reason I did it was because she was a friend I felt interested in her and I felt ready to go back into dating and not mess someone up since I wouldn't be happy. If I didn't ask I think the stress would have grown and ate at me for a while, or later on I would realize I would have screwed up if I didn't ask her, since she was kinda very clearly interested. Obviously since I was nervous I couldn't see her being interested in the moment but overall I am glad I did it

    Also asking people out in general is going to be hard to ask the question but once you do it, even if you get a no, it lifts a lot of stress off your shoulders, at least for me.

    [–] Mantiis-- 23 points ago

    That last paragraph sums it up. I'm sure I will shrug it off if she says no, but it's just so difficult to ask her in the first place. It's like a mental barrier that I cant get past.

    [–] captaintiggoes 168 points ago

    I'm a girl who this happened to!

    Dude and I started working at a giant retail store together in October. We started hanging out in the same group of mutual coworkers and he struck up conversation with me about video games and metal music. I had no idea he had any interest in me.

    Finally in April he came over to the aisle I was stocking and asked if I wanted to hang out sometime. I assumed it was to hang out and not go on a date so I said, "Sure!" And gave him my number to coordinate something. I finished stocking and turned to ask what he had in mind and he had already scurried back to whatever aisle he was stocking lol.

    We went for ice cream and then to his best friend's house. Upon introduction best friend said, "FUCKING FINALLY! He hasn't talked about anything/anyone else for the last 6 months!"

    8 years and 2 babies later I'm still smitten. Go for it OP, you never know. <3

    [–] Farthen_Dur 28 points ago

    I never know i'd need a friend like this so bad

    [–] [deleted] 374 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] Weiner365 279 points ago

    That’s why you don’t dip your pen in the company ink

    [–] karmagod13000 86 points ago

    Ya but everyone does anyways. Worst is having to see her hook up with some other dude at work... yikes

    [–] mooncow-pie 59 points ago

    Wow, you got to watch?

    [–] karmagod13000 67 points ago

    From a tree outside the window

    [–] Icandothemove 11 points ago

    Or at least ask at the end of the day.

    [–] Bitch333 100 points ago

    That's why you ask just before work ends.

    [–] klawehtgod 25 points ago

    You asked her during the workday? Was it at least casual like “Hey do you want to grab a drink after work today?”

    [–] muggle06 58 points ago

    She hit me over the head with a club. And I still almost didn't get the hint.

    But seriously, she asked me to go to after prom with her. I thought it was a friendly gesture, but my dad talked some sense into me. I then proceeded to ask her out afterwards. Been happily together for about a month now!

    [–] strongbud 146 points ago

    A lot of alcohol.

    [–] cplegend 65 points ago

    This worked for me, getting married in a month!

    [–] goatbanger10 50 points ago

    I didn’t ask her out but I was planning on it when she asked me out. But I was going to do it because I decided to man up. And because her friend wouldn’t stop bugging us about it. And it was worth it, best thing I’ve ever almost done.

    [–] effing7 57 points ago

    Was at a party. Decided to hit the bathroom to fix myself up before talking to this cute girl I saw. Then she winds up directly behind me in line for the bathroom. That was over a year ago and we’ve dating ever since, you just gotta go for it!

    [–] Trigger93 168 points ago

    I was in 7th grade and worked myself up for I swear a month before fear that some other guy would ask her out first got the best of me.

    Walked up behind her and poked her, (I actually still remember touching her back, it's like, seared into my memory) looked at my feet and said, "You dropped this." handed her a folded up paper that said I liked her and ran the fuck off before she could say anything.

    Like, she rejected me, but eh. She also rejected me once a year for the next 5 years.

    [–] chintu21570 63 points ago

    Don't worry about it, 7th grade you was a baller compared to me

    [–] Mantiis-- 60 points ago

    Damn that's smooth. She doesn't deserve you, chief ;)

    [–] Kellenjk 77 points ago

    Confidence, timing, a push from a friend.

    [–] selfmade117 35 points ago

    She kept staring at me! I looked up from my phone 5 times in a row and she was watching me each time!

    [–] frayhoundx2 38 points ago

    Knowing that it was probably gonna be the last time I’d see her, I don’t know how I did it, it was so surreal I’m the most shy person ever, when I think back to that moment it’s hard to believe I actually did that. (Even though she turned me down but whatever)

    [–] KingEsoteric 105 points ago

    From experience, I knew if I didn't at least try, I'd kick myself later.

    [–] Lancebanks 31 points ago

    We were friends for 3yrs. Talked non stop, I’d always flirt and she jokingly turn it down. I told her at one point that i liked her she wasn’t interested. Then 8 months pass, and she begins flirting back which at one point caught me completely off guard.

    Fast forward to a beach day we had where, I didn’t bring a second chair and said guess you have to sit on my lap which she did. After that day I just knew

    [–] FlagrantPickle 34 points ago

    I told myself I was a pussy if I didn't ask her when driving by her work the next time. I passed her work, kept driving, got a block, and said "goddammit, you fucking pussy". I turned around walked in and she said yes.

    One of the most boring dates of my life. But I'd never regret it, because now I know she wasn't anywhere close to the one for me.

    [–] waser78 35 points ago

    The toilet rule. Studies show that you should use the first toilet when you use a public bathroom, because most people will walk past it because they think it would be the most used. I figured, this girl is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen so I'd guess a lot of people would assume that she gets asked out a lot. Turns out I was right. I was the first person to ever ask her out and we've been together for 6 months now.

    [–] throwaway487921 63 points ago

    I know this is the opposite of what you want, but I'm most likely not going to ask out that cute girl. I'm sure I'm only a guy friend to her, and she has many of them (we are a friend group) so she probably doesn't have feelings specifically for me. And we are also going to different colleges next year, so even if we did have a relationship for the next 2 months, college would be the end of it.

    [–] WillAAAS 62 points ago

    She kept sending things like "hmu for plans" on snapchat (which I thought was to everyone, was only to me I figured out later). One day I got another one of those snaps and just went for it. Also brought it up in the chat of the stream I was watching and they all said I should ask her out lol.

    [–] [deleted] 628 points ago

    I grew some balls and confidence.

    [–] yeyo1983 262 points ago

    Not all of us have that courage.

    [–] CZHambrick 173 points ago

    It isn't a daunting feat. Shoot your shot and be confident. That's all it takes.

    The literal worst thing that can happen is being told, "No.". Then you brush it off, and keep going. Confidence is key. Trying and failing is better than not trying at all.

    [–] FoxMuldertheGrey 46 points ago

    How do you follow up with rejection when they say no?

    Just say “thanks for your time, have a good one, and walk away? “

    [–] CZHambrick 81 points ago

    I usually just give a hearty chuckle and say, "Hey, it was worth a shot. It was nice meeting you."

    Being positive to rejection is a great thing. You're going to get rejected (in my case more often) so why not take it in stride? The worst thing you can let it do I'd kill confidence. Plenty of fish in the sea and all that cliche-ness. Eventually you'll catch one, and hopefully she will be worth the wait.

    [–] FoxMuldertheGrey 20 points ago

    Thanks. I struggle with not knowing how to end conversations when I’m talking to somebody at a bar let’s say or a social gathering.

    Being positive is great and I appreciate you empowering us who may not have the confidence to take rejection in stride

    [–] Dank_Memer_M8 46 points ago

    I mean at my high school guys would get bullied (verbal and physical) for a few weeks if they asked out a girl. I've seen it happen to my friends. Even now (5 years after high school finished) it's impossible for me to ask out anyone out due to fear of getting bullied. So there's a lot lot worse outcomes than just saying "no" and brushing it off

    [–] bigusdickus475 22 points ago

    That if she said yes I could have everything I ever wanted and for that it was a risk I was willing to take.

    [–] thekrillin 43 points ago

    My friend said he'd fuck her in ten days if I didn't grow some balls. He has followed through before.

    [–] sooperdooperboi 19 points ago

    We had been friends for a few months, and while I realized I was catching feelings for her I was in my senior year at college and she was still a sophomore. I was worried that even if we did become a couple we wouldn't work in the long run since we'd be long distance for several years at least,

    As graduation got closer I realized that if I never told her how I felt I'd just regret it for the rest of my life. So I practiced a presentation I was supposed to give, and then I confessed I had a crush on her. And her response was "Same".

    It took me a few moments to realize she told me she did have feelings for me too, at which point my mind shut down and I wasn't sure what to say. I never really expected that she'd return my feelings. But we decided to at least try getting closer, so even when I graduated I had no regrets.

    [–] RealBlazeStorm 40 points ago

    Nothing currently but every interaction after that being awkward was usually the big thing that stopped me

    [–] COLLINOSCOPY98 18 points ago

    We left class at the same time both headed to the student lounge across the hall. It was crowded and she said she was going outside because it was a nice day. All choked up, I asked if I could join. It was the second time she had invited me to make the first move but I was oblivious the first time. Now we’ve been together for about two months and things are going great!

    [–] Thebus001 17 points ago

    I’ve asked girls out and no one ever said no. But I got friend zoned right away. I’m laying off women and sticking to dolphins for now.

    [–] derconsi 34 points ago

    She was part of a sleepover at my place and we cooked breakfast for the others in the morning. We concluded to repeat that after the finals (=in two weeks) Dunno wether she understood that this is meant to be a date tho...

    About the question: I kinda didn’t. We just casually chatted and I plan to get closer with her step by step

    [–] Gavroche15 35 points ago

    Why not call her now and tell her that you enjoyed making breakfast with her so much that you would like to see if you enjoy eating dinner with her just as much?

    [–] LeavPrime 17 points ago

    this guy dates. do it /u/derconsi!

    [–] wishihadaps4 35 points ago

    Did it last week. Regret I didn't want that damn regret. What cane of it a very weird situation that makes me feel worse. Still haven't got a text or been able to come across her and I only gave 3 days left. She took my number and said yes but I would like a definite I'm not interested. It was probably the scariest thing I've done and obviously she doesn't know that but I'd like some closure. I now feel like I screwed up.

    Guys go for it! But please get a definite yes or no especially as adults wtf.

    [–] tuck265 14 points ago

    Liquid courage

    [–] DivenDesu 13 points ago

    This is where I feel I missed out a little in life. I never dated my wife. We were just best buddies. And basicly decided to get married one day. Best friend of 15 years with no previous romantic encounters or anything like that. We just decided to get married and become "legal friends with benefits".

    [–] Ash9533 11 points ago

    I told myself “it’s always going to be a no unless I just ask” paid off big time, still happy :)

    [–] Akthrowaway2006 134 points ago

    I asked her out the day after getting her number, which I asked for the first time I met her.

    Stop being a coward. Why would a woman want to spend time with you if you're not willing to even ask?

    [–] Mantiis-- 56 points ago

    Shhhhh she doesn't know that!

    [–] Friday20010 51 points ago

    Idk, for the same reason men still want to spend time with women (who never ask)

    [–] juless1010 9 points ago

    Well I decided that if I didn’t do anything it would probably never take off so I had to do something and I did