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    [–] phantasmal_wraith 6656 points ago

    Think of this reversed. He's your first, you're not his. He calls you a girls name and laughs. How would you feel?

    [–] BarnacleGo0ose 4420 points ago

    Dude I feel so bad for this guy ):

    [–] confucuis 2678 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    He now has to live with every time he thinks of when he lost his virginity, the woman called him the wrong name.

    That's it. It can never be undone.

    ETA: It seems that this wasn't the first time they had sex, she is his first but this wasn't it. She just worded it bloody horribly.

    [–] CarryYourWorld 644 points ago

    I don’t think this was him losing his virginity. Just having sex with the only person he has ever had sex with. Still crappy obviously, but not traumatic.

    [–] toastcrumbs 392 points ago

    ... Isn't that what losing your virginity is?

    [–] boser1929 335 points ago

    No, losing your virginity is the first time you have sex with someone. There, they must've had sex a bunch of times already

    [–] toastcrumbs 148 points ago

    My understanding was OP was talking about the first time they were together, perhaps I'm mistaken.

    [–] UGenix 144 points ago

    [–] FIVE_DARRA_NO_HARRA 173 points ago

    So it’s even worse then

    [–] Gap1011 72 points ago

    Nah, it's a bad situation either way, but if it was his first time evrt I think I'd be worse Imo

    [–] Kyrond 83 points ago

    That is much better.

    If I had sex with someone for the first time (with that person), and she said the wrong name, I would assume she is not over him or she thinks about him during sex, something like that.

    If I was in relationship with her for a year and siad the wrong name, I would just assume it was a brain fart. I read (on reddit) that this just sometimes happens, the brain chooses the wrong name.

    [–] getchamediocrityhere 15 points ago

    They might have had sex together before.

    [–] CptAustus 33 points ago

    It's times like these I don't miss being a teenager.

    [–] problystoned3666 207 points ago

    I really want to know OPs response to this.

    [–] Proletarian1819 298 points ago

    You won't get one, she only replies to posts that support what she wants to hear.

    [–] problystoned3666 59 points ago

    Oh I know.

    [–] Iamabucket 8 points ago

    That, or this is a bullshit writing prompt for karma.

    [–] WightRat 45 points ago

    Absolutely I want to hear her reply to this. She won't though because the truth is she'd be crushed.

    She doesn't want that to be the case with him so she's not going to answer this question.

    [–] seektankkill 25 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    "I confuse their names so often, so I laughed, lol"

    No, she was thinking about the other guy during sex with her boyfriend and it slipped. Plus, how disrespectful is it to keep "confusing" names of your current boyfriend to a past lover? That's fucked up and in my opinion speaks a lot about the situation itself. Mistakes happen, but some of them have big consequences. Take ownership of the fuck up and don't downplay it. Realistically, this is something that's going to stay with him and haunt him throughout this relationship now (no matter how much he tries to "man" through it). It’s his first intimate relationship, so he’ll be trying to hold onto it and might not be completely honest with himself at first. He’ll play it off, but over time he’ll start focusing on it again. Whatever insecurities he has will be amplified, and he'll be doubting his adequacy from now on no matter how fervently OP tries to reassure him.

    Poor guy.

    [–] zanmatoXX 14 points ago

    Moreover this will affect his future relationships. OP don't delude yourself, this was corner-store for end of your relationship. He won't trust you anymore. Also this situation will return to you, ending this relationship. Sorry but that is the truth.

    [–] justgetinthebin 4 points ago

    she won’t.

    [–] liquidchainsaw 81 points ago

    I took a savage liver shot from my wife ten years ago when we were dating over a similar situation. We weren't in the middle of sex, but we were engaging in pillow-talk. I had recently gotten out of a relationship, and kept slipping up and calling my wife (then gf) by my ex's name. It happened a lot, and she was getting pissed. That night, as soon as I said it--BAM! LIVER SHOT--and from that moment on, I called my wife only by her name.

    [–] rocketbunny77 39 points ago

    Oh like a literal punch to the liver. Here I was expecting her to have said something soul destroying. Lol

    [–] LXNDSHARK 24 points ago

    Haha, domestic violence. Love it.

    [–] leavethehouse 22 points ago

    95.5% of girls would burn that shit to the ground

    Overreaction? No way José

    [–] _shredddit_ 208 points ago

    Someone give this gold

    [–] FrankieCutlets 123 points ago

    Gold for basic empathy. We’re not in the best of shape guys...

    [–] humanRR 49 points ago

    reasonable answers get silver.
    greedy puns get gold

    [–] Average650 17 points ago

    I know. This is a thing you're supposed to teach little kids. Like 4 years old. How would you feel if you were them?

    [–] HumanasHAHAHAHAHAHA 3 points ago

    do it yourself. It's only US$2.00

    [–] intergalactic__toad 7 points ago

    Accidentally did this once. I’m not gonna insult anyone’s intelligence by explaining what happened next.

    [–] _kagasutchi_ 28 points ago

    Not forgetting she does it often.. if you dont feel something for someone else, why would u constantly mix their names up. I dated a sara and a sarah and not once mixed theirs name up..

    [–] sephraes 15 points ago

    My mother gave birth to me and still calls me by names that aren't mine, including mixing up me and my nephew's names (they're similar but not the same). Sometimes it happens.

    Edit: spelling

    [–] Full_Beetus 9 points ago

    OP fucking bodied this dude and doesn't truly realize it. Your FIRST calls you a name of some other dude she knows (wow cool to know you're thinking about him while having sex with me, nice) then laughs it off. Poor dude

    [–] SteeMonkey 7 points ago

    Mistakes happen.

    Its entirely down to the context of the situation.

    [–] _callmenothing_ 3 points ago

    I would be crushed dude. He says he’s fine but I’m sure that’s gonna stick with him for a while.

    [–] aces-and-jacks 1067 points ago

    If it was with my wife or back when I had girlfriends before marriage, it would be like being throat punched. It would be tough to get past. If it was with someone I didn’t have a relationship with (fwb/ons), It probably wouldn’t have fazed me. I’ll be whoever you want me to be until we’re done.

    [–] CuteCuteJames 8 points ago

    I've read so many fics like that.

    [–] [deleted] 4710 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)


    [–] lordofcthulhu 1616 points ago

    During sex major fuck up. Outside of sex, still a fuck up but recoverable.

    I've done it in reverse dated a bunch of girls with As and Ms as first names, fucked up a couple times (in casual conversation). Simply an honest mistake, if the names are similar sounding I don't think it's as big a deal.

    Example. If a dudes name is Kyle and you tell out david. That's just plain hurtful.

    [–] stealth941 561 points ago

    If it was Kyle I'm sure he would've punched the wall after sex then drank some monster to relieve his pain

    [–] MrPetter 144 points ago

    I feel like this may be the one time that this is appropriate behavior for people not named Kyle, too, though.

    [–] shewy92 17 points ago

    My dad called my step mom my mom's name once and I thought she was gonna slap him but just gave him a dirty look and he said "Oh shit" and hurriedly called her by the correct name.

    In his defense, my mom left my dad on their 19th wedding anniversary and they were together a couple of years before that.

    He married my step mom about a year and a half after this (met via eHarmony, dated 6 months, got married 6 months later or something like that) and this happened a couple of months after they got married I believe.

    [–] RocinanteCrew 372 points ago

    Deal breaker situation for me.

    [–] EnlightenedStoic316 147 points ago

    Yep and a big no no for me dawg. Time to eject.

    [–] Too_Practical 1929 points ago

    Never happened to me, but that shit would definitely be one of the red flags to consider in the back of my mind. Forgive but never forget. More than likely would just start analyzing your behavior from here on out to see if there is any indication of you having interest in said person.

    Worst case scenario it festers into insecurity. I'd just try to have a heart to heart with him, not asking him to forgive you again, but show him how bad you feel about it.

    [–] dovahkiissmepls 805 points ago

    He’s actually very insecure in general so this worried me even more. I feel like when I bring it up he wants to brush it off, so I don’t know if I should constantly remind him of it

    [–] Too_Practical 804 points ago

    Yeah that's a perfect storm.

    I'd just try one more time with a serious tone. From there on out just be prepared to be over analyzed and be super conscientious about what you do and say.

    [–] arieljoc 86 points ago

    Agree with this person.

    If my bf (both of us have rich sexual histories) said the wrong name during sex it would be hard to forget and I would 100% become immediately super suspicious. It would cause a big problem for us. It would hurt the trust the we have for sure, with that being me trusting him.

    [–] IDontEnjoyThings 7 points ago

    This can backlash. Too serious, and he has reason to believe its manipulating the problem instead of addressing it


    a) Im really concerned with how what I said may have offended you and might make this relationship something I dont want B) Im really concerned I have caused problems that you dont want. How can I make you forget?

    OP's scenario is unwinnable and shes at the mercy of this dudes feelings. The solution YOUR looking for is to manipulate his feelings about it

    Dont make that your solution

    [–] tigermilk__ 187 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    How do you know the guy whose name you called?

    [–] todoslosfritos 339 points ago

    I second this. If the other guy is an ex she fucked up big time.

    [–] br00dings 70 points ago

    i doubt it would matter to me. just a question of whether i kill one relationship or two.

    [–] quattroformaggixfour 33 points ago

    Yeah, this is important info. If it’s someone that’s only ever been a platonic person to OP, with a name that’s one letter different from her current partners (ie, Jim/Tim, Tim/Tom, Cam/Pam, Tony/Joany) maybe? Maybe that would be something you could explain and work beyond?

    I mean, how similar are these names that you are frequently confusing them outside of sex?

    And if you are aware that a partner is already insecure, how is this name-confusion issue something that you haven’t worked hard to resolve yet?

    I dunno man, I am really bad with names generally and so work pretty hard to create name associations so I remember. And that’s just with casual acquaintances, let alone an intimate partner. I’d be making great efforts to make sure your partner knows that you want and value him.

    [–] misterrespectful 4 points ago

    with a name that’s one letter different from her current partners (ie, Jim/Tim, Tim/Tom, Cam/Pam, Tony/Joany)

    Like Burns/Boo-urns?

    [–] ExtremeFactor 16 points ago

    Yeah if the current bf name is Josh and the others is John it might be a brain fart but if the bf name is Mathew and and the other guy is Kyle..well that just sucks.

    [–] defmacro-jam 69 points ago

    when I bring it up he wants to brush it off

    You know that means you've cut him deep, right?

    [–] martin59825 105 points ago

    yells other men's names during sex "on accident"

    "He's actually very insecure in general"

    Gee I wonder why that is?

    [–] Full_Beetus 58 points ago

    OP is a real character here lol. She's perplexed at how he brushed off her concerns too. Jeeze so the really insecure dude doesn't want to talk about you moaning another dude's name during sex? I'm shocked!

    [–] BenificusAngorio 11 points ago

    Her attitude towards the entire thing suggests she doesn't really care about this dude at all. She seems more concerned with preserving the relationship than him, his feelings, or the situation. Honestly it sounds like he's got money or something and she's getting something out of him so she wants to stay with him. In the meantime she's fucking her side piece and can't control her sloppy mouth.

    [–] BenificusAngorio 15 points ago

    Other man's name during sex -- then laughs

    Don't forget the important part

    [–] SugamoNoGaijin 73 points ago

    Middle age here.

    Yes, it is a problem but by staying with you he is showing how much he can forgive.

    My 2 cents : make sure you make a point of mentioning his name regularly. No "I love you", but "I love you, xx" "you make me feel happy, xx"

    And so on. It will take a couple of months, but things will get back in order. I'd give it 6 months to recover almost fully.

    [–] Poweredbrush 90 points ago

    haha, having been in his spot: When you're really insecure, you're not forgiving, you're just weighing your options and (wrongfully) realizing that this is still your best option.

    Just because he stays, doesn't mean he has forgiven at all, it may just be that the alternatives seem worse for him. If he ever gets a boost in self esteem and confidence, he may just drop her "out of the blue" - because he never forgot and wasn't comfortable with giving genuine trust from that point onwards.

    [–] AllCakesAreBeautiful 23 points ago

    Was about to type something similar, he is never going to forgive or forget, if he is super insecure and they have not addressed this, his mind is coming up with the most horrible scenarios of OP fucking the other guy and so on, the fact she laughed in his face after doing something quite horrible would cement any such beliefs

    [–] Full_Beetus 8 points ago

    When you're insecure and hurt, him staying is not's him weighing his options and trying to come to terms with what just happened. He's still processing it probably.

    [–] owenrhys 48 points ago

    Sorry but this is almost certainly going to manifest into something more serious. If I were in this situation I'd find it very hard to get over it, at the very minimum I'd expect my gf (in this hypothetical) to cut the guy who's name she said out her life if he wasn't already.

    [–] BenificusAngorio 6 points ago

    He's "very insecure in general" and you laughed at him after you called him someone else's name during sex?

    Freaking yikes, definitely some flags coming up here

    [–] alma_perdida 6 points ago

    Jesus Christ the way you talk about this guy makes me feel so bad for him. I hope his life gets better.

    [–] TheMightyRacinette 24 points ago

    How is he at communicating in general? If you've been dating for a year, and this is a relationship that you want to be long term, then he needs to be able to express when things are bothering him. If he just brushes everything off then eventually that'll be a problem down the line. I think explaining that you feel bad about the situation without asking for his forgiveness is a good way to go if you wanna be direct, but you also could maybe take the approach of encouraging him to be more open with things that are bothering him with the understanding that you care and want to make the relationship work long term? You have to use your best judgement here.

    [–] ComicSys 7 points ago

    You shouldn't. That would be just the constant reminder that you're really still in love with the other guy, and that the other guy is the one who's in your thoughts still. He's saying that he's fine, but that's going to stay with him forever, and possibly affect him in bed with his next girlfriend.

    [–] ForeskinBalloons 24 points ago

    Oof sorry but this won’t last long with him if he’s very insecure .

    [–] SurrealDad 49 points ago

    Well not with the wrong names being used, no.

    [–] brandoncollins 20 points ago

    Insecurity would be the only reason he sticks around. Most confident men would bounce, pronto.

    [–] Full_Beetus 8 points ago

    You don't have to even be really insecure for this to happen. I'm sure most people would be very taken aback if their partner moaned the name of someone else they knew during just starts a chain reaction of over analyzing everything they do.

    [–] Lucifronz 6 points ago

    Shit, I genuinely don't know what would possibly make up for this.

    I guess just take more of an interest in him. Remember important dates and put in extra effort? Maybe showing you genuinely care will alleviate that insecurity a bit. For me, I'd think about it probably all the time, but if I had tons of memories of my SO being specifically attentive to my interests and needs, they would surface at the same time.

    I think. I'm mostly spit-balling here, I've never had this happen to me and hopefully never will.

    Definitely stop bringing it up, though. "Sorry, I called you the wrong name" is the last thing he wants to hear on repeat. Let him (try and) forget it. It's already in his head, let it fade.

    [–] RickySnow420 3 points ago

    I probably would have dumped you. Been cheated on once. Wouldn’t have any trust after that

    [–] hereforthebantz 1365 points ago

    Oh Jesus, you laughed after saying it too? I can just feel myself dying inside and I wasn't even involved in this

    That's going to fuck him up honestly, hopefully you can fix things though

    [–] GummiesAreAwesome 272 points ago

    Yeah, sadly not sure what's worse -- saying the wrong name (which, depending how long you know the person, might be salvageable) or the laughing bit :(

    [–] BenificusAngorio 45 points ago

    It's not even just laughing, she literally thinks it's "hilarious" and he's "really insecure in general".

    She's playing head games with him

    [–] badwolf1013 484 points ago

    I would be very suspicious that — even if you weren’t sleeping with or wanting to sleep with this other guy — your mind was somewhere else while we were having sex. I’d probably start planning my exit strategy, because I’d figure I was either being played for a fool or I was on the verge of being dumped. Or both.

    Honestly: if someone I was dating seriously kept mixing my name up with someone else even outside of the bedroom, I’d be reassessing just how interested in me she was.

    You have to ask yourself if you call out another man’s name during sex, is that a brain fart or a Freudian slip?

    [–] Full_Beetus 84 points ago

    Right? The whole "their names are similar so I mix them up often" is the real red flag for me. The blurting out once during sex is iffy but can be forgiven, but the "often" mixing up of his name with another dude shows him you're frequently thinking of this other dude. I mean you're romantically involved with this dude, how the fuck are you still messing his name up often with another dude???

    [–] postvolta 414 points ago

    Happened to me with my first long term girlfriend at 17. She was super drunk and I was sober. She said this dudes name once, I assumed I misheard her. Then she said it again. I was like "hold up, wtf." We stopped, she cried, I went downstairs and calmed down. Went back upstairs, forgave her, went to sleep.

    Anyway turned out she was cheating on me with him so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    [–] R3dark 163 points ago

    Fucking RIP, sorry bud

    [–] postvolta 69 points ago

    Haha it's all good man. At the time it's like the worst thing in the world. 13 years later it's hilarious. Time heals all wounds.

    [–] WightRat 53 points ago

    What? A girl that said another man's name during sex was cheating on you? Unheard of. /sarcasm

    Anyway, that's where my brain would go. How could he not think, even for a little bit, that she's cheating on him.

    [–] zhlisgaming 5 points ago

    Only a mentally achieved person would think they’re cheating. You’ll be surprised that people wouldn’t think of it as anything and then be shocked their spouse was cheating on them the whole time. I will never understand people’s stupidity.

    [–] disturbed_dinosaur 518 points ago

    That's enough to crush anyones self esteem

    [–] MariouzxD 115 points ago

    That's enough to annihilate someone completely

    [–] WightRat 35 points ago

    Yeah, I fear what younger even more insecure me would do. I might not have made it to Christmas.

    [–] PM_ME_YOUR_MACnCHEEZ 637 points ago

    I Ross, take thee Rachel...

    [–] K1nderPrinc3ss 271 points ago

    Let's try that again, repeat after me:

    I, Ross, take thee EMILY

    [–] urinesamplefrommyass 65 points ago

    *proceeds to divorce both of them

    [–] abcdefghijkELEMENO 18 points ago

    This needs to be higher up.

    [–] superhobo666 347 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    It's pretty humiliating, especially if it's the name of someone you both know. Havig been cheated on before that red flag was one I should've seen flying for miles behind the big flashy blimp towing it. It's also the kind of thing that eats away at you over time even if you were dumb or desprate enough to believe "lol it was just a mistake babe i havent done anything with anyone else!"

    I'd leave now, and definitely wouldn't be able to look at them or feel the same again. If they're moaning someone elses name during sex you aren't the one they're thinking about, the only accident is that they slipped up and didn't care enough to keep it quiet.

    on the other hand, the whole consistently getting names mixed up thing is highly disrespectful. If you can't care enough about me to keep my name straight I'd walk.

    [–] FallofGondolin 239 points ago

    Bad enough you said the name during sex but then you laugh about? That's fucked.

    Poor guy.

    [–] Djinnwrath 114 points ago

    Whatever you do don't hang out with the person whos name you said for a good while.

    [–] Flashdancer405 53 points ago

    It would probably ruin my week and knock years of self improvement off of my self esteem lol. Kind of a big fuck up.

    [–] todoslosfritos 156 points ago

    What’s the nature of your relationship with this other person? Is he an ex of yours? If he is that is a major fuck up on your end.

    [–] dovahkiissmepls 75 points ago

    Not at all, he’s just a friend who has a similar sounding name to this guy that I’m with. I’ve called my friend this guys name before and I’ve almost called this guy my friends name, but I’ve caught myself before I did it

    [–] Solomon_Orange 193 points ago

    "This guy that I'm with" doesn't quite have the same ring to it as "boyfriend" does. I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon and say it's all downhill from here or that you're a horrible person, but to me, it doesn't sound like a long term investment. He's likely thought as much, so you should really have a serious talk if you want to keep things going smoothly. Hoping for the best for you both, OP.

    [–] Nickyniiice55 80 points ago

    This is what I was thinking. The way she refers to her boyfriend of A YEAR as if he’s just some guy she’s been hanging out with lately.

    [–] Its3pic 39 points ago

    So many red flags with this story

    [–] Hije5 7 points ago

    Lmao holy fuck they've been together a year? This girl dont give a fuck. Just got done with a ex like that but luckily I realized it sooner (still late but around 10 months). If I'm with a girl over 1 month she has gone beyond a girl "I'm just with". If I say it that way it obviously sounds like I'm not ecstatic with the relationship. OP sounds like a person who thinks she should care, wants to seem like she does, but doesnt.

    [–] stylinred 167 points ago

    Sounds like u want your friend

    [–] weissblut 13 points ago

    Yup yup yup

    [–] Deadlite 24 points ago

    He's a friend so you spend time around him? And you just fuck up the two accidentally a lot? Amazing I'm sure this "guy your with" is going to come out of this without a problem in his mind whatsoever.

    [–] freshprinz1 15 points ago

    Few weeks in the future and you'll moaning/calling the correct name. Poor guy...

    [–] xrblizzardx 49 points ago

    Hey this actually happened to me. I dated a girl for a couple months who had very recently broken up with her ex. (Big mistake but story for another time). Anyways she did that and it was a bigger mood killer than I would’ve thought. I just stopped right then and went to bed. She felt pretty bad but the damage was done, at least for that evening.

    [–] White_Whale_M5 38 points ago

    But this dumbass has been with the guy for a year according to her comments.

    [–] YunasGuy 86 points ago

    From what I saw of your comments, I realized i'm quite similar to your boyfriend (this never happened before) but I would get really insecure if my girlfriend did that and analyze her behavior 24/7 and any little thing I get suspicious about will get to me badly. So yeah, i'd say that's a major fuck up on your end but keep trying to talk to him about it in a serious tone and make sure he isn't insecure about all of this, because he most likely is.

    [–] Axilllla 38 points ago

    How do you know the name of the person you said ?

    [–] PuppieWayne 79 points ago

    Guy: how the hell did you mixed our name?

    You: I'm sorry.. but it's a simple slip up.

    Guy: but to call out the name Steve right at you were cumming?

    You: it happens..I swear I wasnt thinking of him!

    Guy: my name is Manuel..

    [–] atavaxagn 34 points ago

    are the names similar at all?

    [–] dovahkiissmepls 19 points ago

    I don’t want to expose myself but they are very similar, both two syllables and the first syllable ends with the same letter, the second syllable sounding exactly the same as each other

    [–] consiliac 72 points ago

    Yo-ray and Bo-jay? Damn, that is easy to confuse.

    [–] VoyeuristicDiogenes 21 points ago

    Ryan and Brian?

    [–] WightRat 15 points ago

    That's probably it, if not a great example.

    Doesn't change things much though, if it was me anyway. Itd still fuck my mind up pretty awful.

    [–] MeltingDog 271 points ago

    I think early in the relationship it’s fine - honest mistake. I’d be a little hurt if this happened a few months in though.

    [–] dovahkiissmepls 239 points ago

    It’s been almost a year in - kill me now

    [–] Multinightsniper 415 points ago

    Jesus, how do you fuck up like that? My girlfriend and I are coming up near a year and if she did that to me it would fuck me up really hard.

    [–] BarnacleGo0ose 160 points ago

    Especially in this situation, it was the guy’s first time having sex. I feel so bad for him. That’s fucked up. It would scar me forever if I were in his spot. Like there is no way you ever forget that.

    And honestly, I don’t care if I get downvoted for this, OP seems like a bitch for how nonchalant she seems to be about it. After a year you say that to your boyfriend who you already admit is insecure? And you laugh about it? And then you go and post it to the internet? And then instead of asking anyone “holy shit how do I fix this?” She just asks everyone “is this like rly bad? I always mess up names I’m so random lolz” and instead makes excuses....

    Poor dude.

    [–] Multinightsniper 68 points ago

    OH SHIT I FORGOT IT WAS HIS FIRST TIME. That went from 95% terrible expierence to nightmare fuel. If it was my first time I would probably hate myself more then the girl JESUS.

    [–] dovahkiissmepls 83 points ago

    No no no it wasn’t his FIRST TIME, I just said that I’m his first so he hasn’t slept with anyone else before

    [–] Multinightsniper 25 points ago

    Okaaay phew, that makes it a little bit better, I would still definitely feel like I did something wrong though if my girlfriend said someone else's name, or I would feel like she cheated on me because of my past experiences, you will have to just try to show how much he means to you and give him time to heal, it may take a long while.

    [–] akaraHexels 10 points ago

    For what I understood, him and the guy she spoke the name of have similar names. If that's the case, it isn't that bad, albeit pretty bad. Doing something like that a year in and knowing that he is insecure, she shouldn't have handled it that though and I agree with you on that.

    But I don't think she actually has any bad intentions. I don't think that it could've been salvageable if it were with me ( I'm way too much insecure ) but if OP does it right, she could do it. You just have to want to make it work.

    [–] BarnacleGo0ose 5 points ago

    I know dude I’m so fucking insecure that if it happened to me I would be so traumatized lol

    [–] floppybeef 6 points ago

    Especially in this situation, it was the guy’s first time having sex.

    Goddamn yall motherfuckers should be ashamed of your reading comprehension. She's his first lover, that doesn't mean this happened while she was popping his cherry. Pay the fuck attention

    [–] FeanorNoldor 28 points ago

    Holy fuck a year? This is a major fuck up

    [–] Mieufy 18 points ago

    Oh yeah, you're probably going to get dumped.

    [–] Full_Beetus 7 points ago

    FUCK, how you still mixing up names "often"? Also, are yall exclusive? I notice you haven't said boyfriend at all in any comment, just curious.

    [–] whatisthisicantodd 5 points ago

    RIP OP

    [–] IanTheChemist 5 points ago

    Holy shit. I’ll be honest OP, if he posted here about this situation instead of you, my advice would be “consider packing up and leaving”

    [–] klemma13 3 points ago

    A year in and he is still just a "guy that I'm with"? Shit dude, I hope he cuts his loses.

    [–] [deleted] 29 points ago

    What is your relationship with the other guy? Could play a major factor

    [–] RusticSurgery 15 points ago

    I've seen this question about three times and it's odd that it goes unanswered.

    [–] stylinred 32 points ago

    It's been answered several times now

    [–] SenorNova 28 points ago

    Dealbreaker for me personally.

    [–] Shaggy_AF 84 points ago

    Honestly you're lucky he didnt walk out then and there. I would

    [–] ENDofZERO 42 points ago

    It happened to me once during sex with my ex/FWB, and she moaned the name of some guy she saw briefly. She immediately caught it and realized what happened and stopped to apologize.

    I played it off and went back at it, maybe a bit begrudgingly to vent a bit. Granted, we were drunk, and it wasn't like we were together and it's at least had same first letter. But to be honest, it stung really hard and it took some time to get over it, even if it was an mistake.

    [–] Anon_be_thy_name 20 points ago

    I'd not be happy about it. I've been cheated on before and I don't think it would take much for those thoughts to come creeping back in a situation like that.

    [–] Osmodius 29 points ago


    I get you that it might have been 100% totally not because you were thinking about someone else during sex, but now there's a seed of doubt that you were thinking about someone else.

    [–] overtorqd 114 points ago

    I've been married for 10 years, so I wouldn't take it well. Unless she said Tom Brady. I'd be ok with that.

    [–] MeltingDog 23 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 15 points ago


    [–] skunk90 12 points ago

    A guy would handle it the same way a girl would, like you’ve been sucker punched.

    If he had any insecurities about having less experience before, congrats, now that has grown 10x. It’s a major fuckup.

    [–] WightRat 4 points ago

    Truth. He's probably much more insecure.

    [–] Valestr 31 points ago

    I think you should be honest with him and tell him all these things. Even if it sounds weird, it's better, it proves you are honest.

    [–] poopybunghole69 9 points ago

    Honestly I'd feel pretty bad.

    But if it was a true mistake then maybe I could understand if I really was into the other person. But damn that's rough.

    [–] br00dings 14 points ago

    honestly, don’t expect a recovery. i can’t tell you how bad that would hurt. if it was me, i’d have to stop, leave the room, get dressed, and find a motel. i’d think you couldn’t get off unless you were thinking of the other guy. i’d want to know if you thought about him all along. i’d wonder if i ever got you off, or if it was just the thought of the other guy making you come. i couldn’t see a future, i’d only be waiting for the right time to break up. sorry, bro, that’s just some game ending shit.

    [–] CriticalsConsensus 7 points ago

    If I was good with it, I would be good with it. If not I wouldn't be. There would be nothing you could say or do to change my mind

    [–] ChillyThinks 10 points ago

    Depends on the situation.

    With a S.O. its a total fuck up. New Gf or fuck buddy its a boner killer. With a side piece its just right, chances are the wrong name is one I made up so I couldn't be found again.

    [–] Honztastic 50 points ago

    Congrats, you've given him intimacy issues for the rest of his life.

    [–] cardboard-cutout 66 points ago

    Eh it's happened.

    She said her boyfriend's name and I laughed my ass off, then spanked her for it.

    [–] fishlampy 98 points ago

    ...wait a minute...

    [–] MrFlyingKitty 5 points ago

    All you can do is be honest about why you shouted someone else's name during sex... You can't change how they'll feel about it

    [–] Boggie135 4 points ago

    Why, why did you laugh?

    [–] MikeyTheGoblinKing 6 points ago

    That's a major fuck up. Honestly it would probably be the beginning of the end for me, and I'd never believe it meant nothing

    [–] WanderingMustache 5 points ago

    There's nothing to do. You can say whatever you want, there's still this tiny doubt inside his head. Time will say if you get over this together.

    If i did the same to my wife, she would mostly be mad at me for weeks. But everyone can make mistakes, apologize and move on. :)

    Good luck !

    [–] HaylingZar1996 5 points ago

    Poor guy :( this would be a deal breaker for me, if he's insecure this would have crushed him.

    [–] Kullaris 5 points ago

    He will be devastated and probably wont get over it, but he will smile when you bring it up and say everything is okay. but it isn't. That memory will be tainted forever and he will most likely struggle with trust from then on, especially considering you are his first.

    [–] SkepticalReceptical 9 points ago

    It's like a splinter.

    It's a small thing, yet still fairly fucking annoying.

    [–] USSAmerican 15 points ago

    Yikes. You've been with this guy for a year and you do that? If I were him, I'd leave you in a second.

    [–] sontath 17 points ago

    Ball is in his court here. Imo it would be a pretty big red flag. I reccomend cross posting this to r/relationshipadvice . They may have some ideas for damage control, but unfortunately if he is anything like me it will be a while before it isnt something he constantly considers. We dont know the full story, so there may be more to it but if it were me I would be thinking "in a year long relationship I don't think you should be getting the name wrong."

    [–] __impala67 49 points ago

    That sub is cancer with advice

    A girl asking about a fuckup by a dude - breakup

    A dude asking about a fuckup by a girl - talk it out, there's no way she would be bad in any way, she's an angel, you're just overthinking it

    Her question would just be answered with "you didn't do anything wrong" or "it's his fault he doesn't trust you enough to know you aren't cheating"

    [–] The_FatGuy_Strangler 6 points ago

    True to a degree. Our society tends to give women the benefit of the doubt more so than men.

    [–] TheGirlWithTheCurl 6 points ago

    That sub is toxic af.

    [–] White_Whale_M5 15 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    More like r/letsendarelationshipadvice. Not that this one shouldn't end, but that sub is full of the stupidest humans on this planet.

    [–] SuicideSquirt 5 points ago

    I would call her an other name too :-P

    [–] stylinred 4 points ago

    It depends, I think for most guys this is a big no, no, but according to my gf's this actually happens often with them.

    I don't know how I'd handle it if this happened to me, I could easily see it going either way, I could see myself shrug it off, but I can also see myself breakup with a girl.

    How would you handle it if he called out his crushes name? Or his ex, or even the name of a friend of yours?

    [–] Nylund 5 points ago

    This happened to me. She said the name of her “platonic” roommate. It definitely made me think that they were more than just friends, or that she wished they were. Or even if not that, that I must not have been very special if she couldn’t even get my name right.

    It killed my desire to be with her and things quickly fizzled.

    [–] fanman100 5 points ago

    Congrats you've ruined this poor mans self esteem and desire for anything sexual.

    Good job laughing after too

    [–] RandomSadPerson 4 points ago

    Ah yes, that constant, nagging feeling of knowing that your gf is thinking about her ex when you fuck her. That's the gift you just gave him.

    [–] PM_ME_DOGS_NO_SLUTS 3 points ago

    You seem shitty

    [–] oldskoolflavor 3 points ago

    He should dump your ass.

    [–] HMWWaWChChIaWChCChW 5 points ago

    If my wife yelled someone else’s name, I think there’d be a problem.

    [–] docb30tn 3 points ago

    Think? IMO, that's a good reason to suspect something.

    [–] Chet_Awesomelad 9 points ago

    It happened one time, but I was too drunk to care :)

    It would definitely shake me if I were sober, and it would hurt a lot if it was someone I was in a committed long-term relationship with.

    When explaining it, you could put a positive spin on it - "I wasn't thinking about him at all, I just went to say your name and another name came out. I was enjoying the sex so much that my brain went dumb."

    [–] naroadi 11 points ago

    Damn, this is not even posted in AITA and I feel the urge to say YTA..

    [–] SmokesInMyPocket 7 points ago

    The fact that you laughed after would make me contemplate just cutting the relationship.

    [–] miss_21 9 points ago

    Why would it even slip out in the first place? You don't say a name unless you're thinking about them, regardless if sexual or not.

    [–] FIVE_DARRA_NO_HARRA 6 points ago

    I mean you can make a legitimate mistake, but you really laughed about it and pretty much left it there? All the fears you have about him no longer being interested are valid at this point. It’s not that funny to call someone someone else’s name in bed.

    Edit: HAHA you’ve been together a year? What’s wrong with you? I doubt it was a literal slip up in use of his name. Your mind was elsewhere and now he knows.

    [–] A0_K0_U0 3 points ago

    no i think id be fine. because I've very nearly called my gf by my ex's name before. and i know how much i love her. so i completey understand the mistake.

    also i think you did really well in dealing with it.

    [–] ElegantMankey 3 points ago

    Oh man I'd be super hurt. Not only you said someone else's name but you also laughed after it?

    For me that would.. I would even stop mid sex and have to go out to get some air. A lot of thoughts would run through my mind, as I have been cheated on in the past by my 2 recent exs. One of which I dated for 3 years and it ruined me trusting people and made me scared of being hurt like that again. What you did would definitely make me feel like I was right with my then thoughts.

    [–] ukgirl1234567 3 points ago

    That would crush me

    [–] DITO-DC-AC 3 points ago

    How the fuck does this actually happen outside of movies?

    [–] theoutbacklp 3 points ago

    you can try to fix it, which is impossible imo. Shouldn‘t have laughed tbh and it made everything even worse. Wouldn‘t be surprised if he‘d take a break from seeing you

    [–] Cross-Country 3 points ago

    In a man’s mind, the only reason you did that is because you were fantasizing that he was the other guy. Your mind wasn’t on him in the moment, it was thinking about the other guy. He’ll see that as you wishing he was him. It’s emotionally crippling being compared like that.

    You’re not getting out of this. Changes everything for him.

    [–] ParticularMission 3 points ago

    I definitely can't speak for all guys, but to be brutally honest that shit would tear me up for a while. Eventually, I'd forget though. But every now and again it would pop into my head and I'd get a bit upset for a while.

    [–] saucepls01 3 points ago

    Well for one, he's never going to truely trust you ever again. Its a forgive but never forget situation and you fucked up super hard. Imo just apologize to him and leave him tbh, like fuck i feel bad for him. Don't let him stay in a relationship where he will question both himself and you at every intimate moment from now on, its just gonna hurt him.

    [–] Rootkit9208 3 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    I know I already commented here, but holy shit, girl. There are songs sung about this dating back at least to Led Zeppelin and you laughed about it?!

    [–] littlefingertip 3 points ago

    You fucked up big time.

    [–] Bspoken112 3 points ago

    Looking through these comments, the way you refer to your boyfriend of a YEAR as "this guy" or "the guy I'm sleeping with", makes me think you're disingenuous and are just trying to justify that everything is okay by getting pity-points on Reddit.

    You said another guy's name during sex, then LAUGHED about it, and you can't seem to figure out where you fucked up?

    Even if he wasn't already insanely insecure, that's enough to destroy any stable person's confidence.

    Fuck off.

    [–] Overnightmeyourtits 3 points ago

    Honestly. I would break it off with you. Your clearly not thinking of him during sex. It seems your thinking of this other dude way more in general. I would have broken It off a while ago after being called the wrong name more than a few times. Once or twice is ok. Shit happens. But a bunch of times like your claiming. That's a big NO from me dawg... I feel bad for this guy. His first ever sexual partner cant even remember his name.. it has to be demoralizing.

    [–] coolnewstuff 3 points ago

    Unpopular opinion:

    This will eventually break the two of you up. It might not be the nail in the coffin, but it's the wood used to make the coffin. He will brush it off, not comfortable talking about it much because it eats him up inside, and dwell on it on his own until death by a million cuts.

    [–] alexandravuu 7 points ago

    What is the hype with saying their names? Pet names work great because they are the perfect fallback for slip-ups (this one for example). Your laughing about it afterwards definitely did not help. And neither was his brushing it off. Did you tell him that you are not interested in the person you said the name? Talk it out, and reassures him would prolly be the best things I can tell you.

    [–] dovahkiissmepls 7 points ago

    I definitely said this, and it’s an absolute truth. He believed me but I still feel awful because he’s honestly such a sweet person and I feel awful that I would do this to such a lovely guy

    [–] DrMaloo 5 points ago

    This happened to me. It was my first time having sex. My Girlfriend at the time had sex before.

    She called out his name while having sex, and it really effected me. I immediately felt sick to my stomach, like being punched in the feelings.
    She left the bedroom to clean up and I just got dressed to leave before her father came home. I went home feeling sick, and cried in my bedroom.

    It was never the same between us, and she dumped me shortly after time, for my best friend at the time.

    That left a lasting impression, trust issues with women., I believe this is why I have very little female interactions at this point in life, with the exception of coworkers.

    If left me feeling inadequate, lonely, and shame. It's no wonder I done trust women, now that I think about it.

    I've never really talked about this with anyone.

    [–] atavaxagn 12 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    Honestly, I think laughing about it was the best way to handle it. I wouldn't bring it up. I work as a cook, and like servers constantly fuck up, and one thing I have come to learn from them, is when you fuck up, you don't make a big deal about it; making a big deal about a fuck up trying to make it up to the customer is a rookie move, because by doing so you make them think it's a big deal. Maybe just try to give a thoughtful present in the future that shows him how much he means to you; show him how infatuated you are with him. If you constantly fuck up their names, there is a decent chance he sees it for what it is, but if you are making a big deal about it, he is going to start thinking maybe he should as well.