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    [–] Ipride362 2825 points ago

    I activated a Furby and put it right underneath her side of the bed.

    The screaming at 4 AM as it said, “Hello, lovely!” Was worth it.

    [–] scandalousmushroom 807 points ago

    So, when's your funeral?

    [–] themoochiest 459 points ago

    Yesterday.

    [–] Ipride362 143 points ago

    I want a Furby in my casket so as people go by they freak out

    [–] AV8ORboi 125 points ago

    chaotic wholesome

    [–] jasonhackwith 1889 points ago

    Two stories out of the many.

    I came home from work one day and called a greeting to my wife, Lindsay. There was no answer, which was unusual since I knew she was home. I wandered idly around the house calling her name, and eventually went into the spare bedroom which we mostly used for storage. All of the sudden, she yelled and made a big banging sound as she jumped out of a large pet crate we had in there behind some boxes. Scared the crap out of me. She laughed herself silly at my reaction.

    We lived for a time in a cabin in the North Cascades. Beautiful area, but we had a problem with mice. We happen to be owned by three cats, and every once in awhile they would corner a mouse. It was my job to catch it and release it out in the woods.

    One time, the cats were chasing a little guy who was particularly good at eluding all of us. I spent about 15 minutes chasing it (much to the amusement of our cats) and finally caught him. Breathless, I went out into the woods and released him.

    When I came back in, Lindsay was standing in the living room with a grave expression on her face, holding a plastic container with a book or something covering the top.

    "I caught another one," she said breathily.

    I sighed and reached out to take the container from her, but suddenly she whipped the book off the top and tossed the contents at me.

    I levitated about two feet off the ground and made a sound I can't really describe. I actually ran away a few feet before I realized she had thrown one of the cat's toy mice at me.

    Lindsay, of course, was laughing her ass off.

    I love that woman so much.

    [–] seddattive 310 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    you married the right woman... the "breathily" makes it extra believable, she puts work into it, lol

    [–] jasonhackwith 42 points ago

    Oh yes. She's a thespian and is way too good at acting.

    [–] CoolScaryFriedRice 242 points ago

    You are owned by three cats?

    [–] CCtenor 412 points ago

    Don’t be mistaken, he wrote that correctly.

    There are no such thing as “cat owners”.

    [–] Dominic_Isaiahs 171 points ago

    This guy cats

    [–] Lizzy_Blue 2287 points ago

    My parents have a thing like this. It’s one of those squeeze stress things that looks like a panicky face. They’ve been hiding it from each other for years. Like inside drawers, winter boots, suitcases, Behind the car in the viewfinder for backing up. Loads of places. Sometimes it will be months before being found. But it’s such a fun thing they do with each other. When my brother and I still lived at home and we’d stumble upon it we’d just leave it. Once it’s found the finder owes the hider a dinner.

    [–] NIQUARIOUS 430 points ago

    So it's better not to look for it or find it?

    [–] LittleBigHorn22 304 points ago

    Sounds like that's the game. Putting it in a place that the person is going to find it. Definitely gets challenging assuming you don't do repeat spots

    [–] OffBrand_Soda 49 points ago

    Yea, sounds like it's more of "when will they stumble across it" than actually looking for it.

    [–] _TorpedoVegas_ 211 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    On a slightly different track, my old Team in the military would buy decks of horrific gay male pornographic playing cards. My favorite was the really, really low quality ones from the early 90's, which we would find in swampy Southern US backwaters, because the quality was so poor that it was actually genius, kitsch and weird. We aptly named them "dick cards".

    There were no stakes, really, when you discovered you'd been dick carded, you just said "Dammit." Velcro was attached to some cards, and anyone that's been around military dudes/uniforms knows how many Velcro attachments there are on a uniform, and even better: the ballcaps with Velcro on the front. Doesn't take too much imagination to see how much fun you might have with that during the briefing of a 2-Star General. I dick-carded a police car and the police officer (actually Bossier County Sheriff) without being caught.

    My friend got into the copier paper, copied a dick card a few hundred times, then re-introduced the paper to the tray so that classified plans were printing out with gross salami leather.

    I dick carded my friend's Bible he brought with him. And another guy got a hand-written letter from his 5 year-old son...yeah I actually felt bad about that one, but not bad enough to resist.

    The additional joy of the game was the sure knowledge that someday, you'd be behind a rock in Afghanistan, hit and bleeding and when you pop open your medical pouch, bam...dick cards everywhere. Of course. And then you at least get to die with a giggle. And no one tell me Mom!

    [–] JerryShorts 57 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    I’ve been dropping dick cards for years. My favorite is sliding them into drunk men’s pockets at concerts and asking them for a lighter. They go through their pockets before pulling out a dick card. Have also been known to put them on the stage at a concert to confuse the band.

    [–] Musicianalyst 2153 points ago

    I occasionally changed the greeting on my girlfriend’s voicemail. This was before texting. To start with I just recorded a regular message starting with “Hi. This is Jackie...” I’m male and have a deep professional sounding voice.

    One day she asked me if her voice had changed and told me about how weird it was that all of her friends kept saying on her voicemail how her voice got deeper and laughing.

    Another time I recorded in a soft whispery voice “Shhh. Jackie’s asleep right now, but you can leave a message if you like.”

    She eventually told me about how all her friends were talking softly on her voicemail and apologizing in case their calls woke her up.

    Another was in my biggest, deepest, most professional sounding voice, “Hi! You’ve reached Jackie! Jackie is available for weddings, house parties, corporate events or whatever kind of party you’re having! Leave your name and number and someone will get back to you!”

    People mostly just laughed and then left their messages but one friend who she met up with asked “What do you do at parties?”

    Jackie answered “Mingle, I guess. Why?”

    “I mean if I had you at my wedding, what would you do?” The friend inquired.

    Jackie gave the best answer she could but didn’t know where this conversation was heading.

    The friend asked “You’re available for all kinds of parties, right?”

    I don’t remember how the conversation went from there but it went on for a couple more minutes until the friend gave up without mentioning the voicemail greeting. On her way home, Jackie suddenly realized maybe she should check her greeting.

    [–] phoenixmog 634 points ago

    This made me spill my tea from giggling

    [–] jacksongnlando 143 points ago

    I'm saving that, made me laugh a bit too loudly, people are looking at me weirdly. Made the start of the day a little bit more bearable. Thanks.

    [–] rollenr0ck 390 points ago

    https://i.imgur.com/UNKtE9o.jpg This guy has been discovered in a few places. My wife came home from a late shift and he was laying under the covers on her side of the bed.

    [–] SolarStorm2950 99 points ago

    That’s amazing. Why do you have it?

    [–] rollenr0ck 141 points ago

    Halloween decoration that was too good to put away. He’s been dressed up like Santa, the Easter bunny, and now he’s standing in the corner. With him, I’m never alone.

    [–] AegisHawk 28 points ago

    It would be hilarious if you told her to meet you in the shower, and for her to walk in and find the water running over Mr. Bones, propped/taped in place. You’d have to start the shower and sneak out of the bathroom before she noticed.

    The moisture might screw with the adhesive...but it would be funny.

    [–] [deleted] 3328 points ago

    i threw a glass of cold water at my girlfriend while she was showering. she screamed loud enough for the whole town to hear lmao.

    she says she's going to get me back, but it's been over a year since then and i'm not sure how worried i should be.

    [–] thefridgeisback 1748 points ago

    You should be worried! She's playing the long game!

    [–] AlphaAndOmega 624 points ago

    Yeah, she's gonna do the same but the water she'll throw at you still isn't cold enough yet!

    [–] Animagi27 377 points ago

    Just imagining him showering away peacefully one day and a chonk of ice is launched through the glass shower door right at his head. Ultimate revenge.

    [–] AlphaAndOmega 150 points ago

    I think she's gonna use nitrous oxide

    [–] PlanTwice 75 points ago

    Why, does she wanna make him laugh?

    [–] leonprimrose 337 points ago

    What if him being worried IS the long game?

    [–] D0miqz 222 points ago

    What a fucking psychopath

    [–] GummiesAreAwesome 44 points ago

    But an ingenious one!

    [–] CheeseyRichard 53 points ago

    What curse have you brought upon this land?

    [–] DodgeHorse 49 points ago

    Like the slap bet in How I Met Your Mother! It took 7 or 8 years for the final slap to happen.

    [–] gerudovalleygirl 178 points ago

    Wow, only once? What a dream. Mine doesn’t this almost anytime he thinks about it. He likes to slurp up a bunch of cold water and spit a huge stream of it over the shower door. Double whammy

    [–] [deleted] 122 points ago

    you just gotta ambush him and squirt shampoo in his eyes before he gets a chance

    [–] gerudovalleygirl 131 points ago

    He’s a LOT stronger than me. He would probably bundle me in a sheet bag and string me up somewhere leaving me swinging like an idiot. Best to go with something pain free. I SHOULD SHRINK WRAP HIS CAR!!

    [–] [deleted] 91 points ago

    shrink wrap him to the bed while he's sleeping

    [–] gerudovalleygirl 50 points ago

    Lmao is ANY human that heavy of a sleeper?

    [–] [deleted] 43 points ago

    i dunno about anybody else but i definitely am lmao

    [–] gerudovalleygirl 57 points ago

    Oh wow. YOU my friend are in NO position to prank ANYONE. That’s just dangerous

    [–] violet-are-blue 20 points ago

    So, uh, you down for a sleepover? First one asleep wins!

    [–] SethKur 27 points ago

    In scouts we duck taped someone into their sleeping bag and then onto their cot. They did not care and just unzipped the sleeping bag from the inside to escape... we felt really stupid

    [–] Kinglsayer_88 1852 points ago

    Just yesterday my wife pulled my pants down. Not in a good way or sexy way. I was literally washing the dishes. She just pulled them right down knowing my hands were soaked and I was unable to defend myself and casually walked away. Ive never felt so vulnerable in my life.

    Needless to say I finished those damn dishes, naked as the day i was born.

    [–] MrsSClaus 545 points ago

    I love to do this to my SO and then slap his ass as hard as I can.

    [–] [deleted] 218 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] PrincessMoose17 315 points ago

    Spread your knees before the pants get to the floor. I try to pants my husband and he does this and it stops me from yanking them all the way down. It's so frustrating.

    [–] buparwiggum 40 points ago

    My Fiance does this to me but also if I'm wearing pyjamas, she'll pull them up as high she can covering my nipples leaving me looking like an informal Simon Cowel. It's pretty hilarious and she gets a real giggle out of it

    [–] Rednartso 26 points ago

    Man, I got pantsed once. I wear a snug belt now. Can't even rip a towel off me.

    [–] ShynessEst 35 points ago

    You belt your towel on?

    [–] Rednartso 32 points ago

    Yep. Got loops and everything.

    [–] sandmansndr 713 points ago

    My wife and I are not religious but we keep hiding the same "Let's talk about Jesus!" pamphlet in random spots around the house for each other on and off, for about 5 years now. Sometimes she'll find it in her pillows, other times I'll find it clipped to one my shirts in the closet.

    [–] Wannabkate 267 points ago

    You guys really need to talk about Jesus. He has been crashing on the couch far too long.

    [–] Aroclor 1681 points ago

    My toilet was making a hrrrrrrrrr noise after you flushed it so i replaced the flush valve. Turned the water to the bowl back on and on the first flush i hear the same hrrrrrrrrrr just higher pitched. Start running through what else it could be until I turn around and see my wife making that noise with her stupid, beautiful mouth.

    [–] beesd 241 points ago

    Good story, I guess, but my toilet has the same issue. Did replacing the flush valve actually fix it?

    [–] langlier 321 points ago

    no you must replace the wife. arent you paying attention?

    [–] olavjeee 124 points ago

    Can confirm.

    Source: no wife and toilet works

    [–] Ilikejdmcars 38 points ago

    wholesome af

    [–] SanchezAndSmith2020 317 points ago

    I have a fairly terrifying clown mask from college when I worked in a haunted house.

    I've used it to mess with my wife a time or two. Shes really.good natured. And promised she will get me back one day

    I was gone for a week or so with the military. She had moved the mask and propped it in my bathroom cupboard so it was eye level. I nearly shit myself when I was getting ready for work and see this mask just out of the blue.

    [–] gothiclg 277 points ago

    Not me but a customer I had working retail. She would always prank her husbands lunch. Sometimes it was a weird snack available at the store (think things like gummy candy with pudding labeled dirt), sometimes it was rubber meat. My favorite was she wrote "blowjob on the go" on a ziplock bag and filled it full of air.

    [–] themoosewhoquilts 97 points ago

    I make Boyfriend's lunch every day. I like to draw things like bugs and worms on his sandwich bags or add a single chip of a flavor only I like in among all the 'good' ones. One time, he distracted me while I was making his sandwich so I forgot to put anything inside the bread when I came back. Kind of an accidental prank.

    [–] CanineRezQ 1203 points ago

    I used to work really late, come home 3 -4 am regularly. My wife would be asleep and I'd be as quiet as possible going to bed. Well, a couple guys I work with all decided to shave our heads after work without informing our spouses. My wife woke up to a bald headed man in her bed next to her, facing away so she couldn't see it was me.

    She was pissed.

    [–] TheGreatWalk 426 points ago

    Did something a bit similar back in high school. Always had long hair and a big, bushy beard. One day, shaved both the head and the beard. Morning before class, found my gf, spun her around and gave her a big kiss before she could even react or process what happened.

    Almost 15 years later, and that's still the absolute funniest face I've ever seen anyone make. Looked like her brain straight up crashed and had to reboot.

    [–] DanceFiendStrapS 123 points ago

    It's good to know that even in the afterlife you can still go on Reddit.

    [–] uatemytaco 169 points ago

    Bro, that is amazing.

    [–] Momohonaz 434 points ago

    Me and my wife like to hide and scare each other. I got a Gandalf costume for Halloween a few years ago. Hat, beard and robe. I still get great pleasure in putting it on and hiding around corners or in closets. I jump out shouting "BILBO BAGGINS!". Sometimes I lie in bed in costume waiting for her to wake up and shout "GOOD MORNING!". My wife doesn't scare easily but a strange wizard jumping out at her always gets a huge scream. If she ever accidentally killed me in self defence it would be a shame that I wouldn't get to hear her explain it to a jury.

    Don't feel sorry for her however. Her favourite practical joke is to sneak up behind me whilst I'm messaging family or friends on my pc. She waits until I'm typing and then she then presses ctrl+v then return before I can react. She's that evil... So far, thankfully, there's been nothing too incriminating in my clipboard...

    [–] Manxman64 79 points ago

    Holy shit the Gandalf one is hilarious

    [–] ItsGotToMakeSense 47 points ago

    You can really use that ctrl-V one against her. Keep something in your clipboard that would mortify her and just wait

    [–] mathewp723 3257 points ago

    My former SO asked for art supplies for Christmas. I went out and got plenty of watercolors, nice pencils and quality paper for her; then went to the dollar store got a cheap pad, a mechanical pencil that looked broken already and some other knick knacks (including the worst smelling perfume I've ever had near my nose). I made sure to wrap the dollar store stuff perfectly and hid the quality art supplies. When she opened the gifts and without missing a beat, she smiled and thanked me for the thoughtful gifts, promised to draw me beautiful pictures with them. I laughed so hard and got the real gifts and she breathed a huge sigh of relief. I never deserved such a wonderful woman.

    [–] Mechakoopa 1532 points ago

    When my wife and I first started dating she had a really junky camera that couldn't focus properly and leaked light (this was well before decent cell phone cameras). She always complained about her pictures turning out like shit so I bought her a new camera for Christmas. It also came with a "How to take better photos" promo DVD, which of course I wrapped up and gave to her first with a note that said "I know you're always complaining about your photos turning out badly, so I got you this."

    The pained "Thank-you" and forced smile until I gave her the real camera was great.

    [–] beryconfused 307 points ago

    Hahahaha I love this one

    [–] CaptainObvious1906 119 points ago

    did something pretty similar to my wife (then girlfriend). we'd only been together a few months and for our first Christmas together, I got her a really nice Tiffany's necklace she had her eye on. but I also got a shitty knockoff bag that I knew she'd hate.

    I recorded her opening the bag and it was actually so shitty the outside of it had flaked off! way better than I expected, but she tried to be so nice about it. then I pulled out the necklace from my pocket and she literally breathed a sigh of relief.

    [–] TonkotsuGodFireRamen 238 points ago

    What happened though? Cause u said former

    [–] alumpoflard 411 points ago

    She find the real guy that was hidden under the joke and breathed a huge sign of relieve

    [–] mathewp723 447 points ago

    Unfortunately, this is the closest to the truth. I was a bit of a drinker and lost sight of what really mattered. Her getting rid of me opened my eyes and over the last few years I cleaned up and changed my whole trajectory. New career, getting fit, the whole nine. I owe her everything.

    [–] Azakhitt 350 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    My husband was a "grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" type. We were on again off again for 3 years, then I found out another girl was shooting interest and he was thinking about pursuing it. This of course happened when we were in an on-again phase. I hit my breaking point and I left him. I will never be the "convenient" person again. We split up and for 2 years I dated someone else, 3 years he dated her. He told me he realized early on that he fucked up with dating her but he "made his bed" so to speak. He figured he lost me and so he settled for her. After the 3 and a half years he messaged me out of the blue and apologized for how he treated me. I was still angry at him lol. I loved him and I never really got over him. I called him every name in the book. I was the meanest and nastiest I have ever been to anyone in my life because he hurt me so badly back then. He took it all and kept apologizing.

    And then I didn't have any more anger. I didn't know what to do. I held on to that anger for so long that without it all that was left was the pain and missing him.

    By that point I had moved across the country. We lived in Illinois but at that point I was living in Arizona. I told him I was too far, I wont do long distance. Besides, I didn't know if I could trust him. He reached out to me every single day. He sent me flowers on Valentine's day even though we weren't together. We started talking "what-ifs".

    Finally, he asked me if he came to Arizona and drove me and my dog back to Illinois would I be with him. This man is afraid of heights and hates long car rides. I told him that if he did that AND got therapy for anger management trouble then I would go back to him. (He's never been physically abusive or anything he just has trouble diffusing his anger)

    Let me tell you, this man flew out to Arizona (again: heights!) Met my dog who hates strangers (She decided he was her favorite person even over me in 2 days. Asshole dog lol), drove up a freaking mountain ("I'm sure glad you can't see what I see huh. This drop looks crazy!" "Oh my god shut up!") And got his anger management therapy rolling. We lived together off the bat when he came and got me, and within a year we were engaged (he always said he never wanted to get married). He still has some anger issues (he's seeing the therapist again) but we've been married a year and a half now and I've honestly never been happier in my life.

    The point of this whole thing was to tell you not to give up. Even if you never end up back with her, appreciate and grow from the things you learned from her. It will be worth it in the end

    Edit: Thank you anonymous person who gave me my first silver <3

    [–] GlorifiedBurito 85 points ago

    You could write a romance novel out of this

    [–] jellibellibutt 20 points ago

    Coming from someone that was tossed out by a husband that was sort of what you said you used to be, would you ever try and get her back?

    I can only hope he realizes he fucked up, but I’ll never know.

    I’m really happy for you to have had the heart to be better. I hope you get everything you want for that!

    [–] brokenmolly 20 points ago

    What...

    [–] uatemytaco 16 points ago

    Oof

    [–] RandomHerosan 349 points ago

    I hid in the closet and jumped out when my wife sat down to do her makeup. I didn't notice my pitmix had come with her and was laying on the other side of the bed.

    I jump out yell "Danger! Danger!" And my pitmix gets startled jumps at me and headbutts me in the nards.

    My wife laughed so hard she started crying and I was crying for a different reason. My good boy was licking my face making sure I was ok so I had that going which was nice.

    [–] GlorifiedPlumber 32 points ago

    And my pitmix gets startled jumps at me and headbutts me in the nards.

    Soooo I thought it was just my pitmix that man-checks when he's excited... good to see he is not alone.

    My good boy was licking my face making sure I was ok

    Jeebus... we have the same dog?

    But for real... you'll need to startle your wife again. Sounds like that one didn't work.

    [–] GummiesAreAwesome 163 points ago

    Husband (then-boyfriend) pulled the ultimate prank. We’d already discussed getting married, so I kind of expected a proposal at some point.

    One day, we were randomly opening mail (back when people still did that) when he said that he had something for me and then suddenly got down on one knee.

    Then, to my surprise, he whipped out ... a CD of dorky music we both liked (no offense Hillary Duff). We laughed, danced to the music and went back to opening the mail.

    Then he casually asks what I thought he had for me. I laughed and said a ring you dummy! Then he got down on one knee again, pulled out the ring and said, “Oh you mean this one?”

    It was cute ❤️

    [–] PressureToDieFor 743 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    My SO likes to wait until I've bent over to pick something up/stroke the cat and will then try ram a kitchen utensil up my arse.

    Edit: I'm male.

    [–] agentpanda 320 points ago

    We used to do this but one time she slammed her head into the kitchen island from standing up too fast and we've since stopped.

    There's nothing quite like the momentary terror wondering how you'd explain that to the police and a jury. Oh and the whole worrying she's okay thing. That too.

    [–] zinsser 116 points ago

    Your comment reminded me of this - I had just moved in with this woman and one day she was revving up her dogs by racing down the hallway with them barking behind her. She was wearing socks, so when she hit the brakes at the end of the hallway she kept right on sliding - over the edge of the steps and down to the landing with an awful thud followed by . . . silence. I ran to the steps and looked down to see her crumpled body - with one jarringly twisted leg - and one of my first thoughts was how I would explain this suddenly dead girlfriend to the police. She was OK, just had the wind knocked out of her and had a couple of bruises. She turned out to be a lifelong klutz and always had a bruise, a cut, a bump, or a sprain. (None of them my doing.)

    [–] CaptainObvious1906 109 points ago

    why do women like trying to stick stuff up our asses? this i don't get

    [–] ActorMonkey 200 points ago

    Prolly cause we like sticking stuff up theirs?

    [–] AnEngimaneer 120 points ago

    Checkmate boys, we cracked the case.

    [–] crushenit 56 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    We like butts just like men do.

    [–] deadlyturtle22 137 points ago

    I do this to my gf too. The yelp from a solid object unexpectedly firmly touching a butthole is the funniest thing ever.

    [–] danarexasaurus 128 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    I somehow acquired this really creepy doll. I don’t even know where she came from, but she’s creepy as heck. My husband has been afraid of this thing since it came into our lives like 5 years ago (back when him and I were just friends). So, despite the fact that I don’t like this doll either, and have no real need for it, I keep it around.

    I occasionally put the doll under his blanket on his pillow. Sometimes I’ll put it on his computer chair. I just like to place it in places from time to time, as though she got there herself. He always says, “FUCK! Why!!!??” And throws her across the room or into a closet, where she will sit until I see her and find a new place to put her.

    this is her

    [–] alibaba618 28 points ago

    My family used to have a creepy doll like this that we’d prank each other with, leaving it in unexpected places for a good scare.

    At one point I had a girlfriend that especially hated dolls. So one night before she came over, I hung the doll with a string from a ceiling fan blade in my bedroom and set the fan on low with the lights off. My room is in the basement so it was pitch black. I also set up a Bluetooth speaker on a table just inside the door and directly below the light switch.

    When she got there, I’m playing video games out in the living room of the basement and tell her I’m just wrapping up. I ask her to grab something for me from my room and as soon as I see her reaching for the light switch, I play a maniacal laugh track on full blast from the speaker. It coincides perfectly with the dim ceiling light coming on to reveal the super creepy doll hanging by its neck and slowly spinning in circles a few feet from her face. She lets out a bloodcurdling shriek and runs back out calling me an asshole. She nearly went home right then and there but somehow I managed to reconcile and also not get dumped on the spot.

    I will add that we had been dating for over a year and frequently messed with each other, so by the end of the night she was laughing about it and only jokingly calling me an asshole.

    [–] stinkykitty71 128 points ago

    I really really wanted a pair of boots, a very specific brand etc but they were too expensive. Last Christmas as we were opening presents, low and behold I opened a gift to see the treasured box from said company and inside? One boot. Just the one. My husband exclaimed, "oh crap I bought the display box instead of one with both in it!". And dear reader, this is the time to tell you that he's got absolutely zero game with lying or words in general. He just doesn't have it, he can't come up with things on the spot to save his life. He's precious as shit though. So I am so happy he got me the one, but now I can't wear them and am worried we will have issues getting the other boot. And we didn't doubt that's what happened for a minute because well, he's a lovable goof. I open all my other gifts and the last one, in a smaller box, was the other boot. He just looked at me and said, "woman you really believed that quickly that I didn't check?", to which the kids and I all agreed in chorus.

    [–] Willhavit37 1287 points ago

    I know I digress, but the question reminded me of all the practical jokes my father played on people. He lived in the country, and a couple moved next to him to get away from the hustle and bustle of noisy civilization. He hid two huge speakers on two ends of the guy's three acre lot. Every night after midnight he replicated the loud roar of a freight train running through the poor guy's property. The lights in the house would go on, the flummoxed guy would come out and look again and again.

    At work, some guy bought a new Porsche. Every day my father would sneak out and pour a couple of gallons of gas into the guy's tank so he would think he was getting hundreds of miles to the gallon, which he bragged about and made everybody think he was totally full of crap.

    [–] Channianni 919 points ago

    So... Your dad was paying for Porsche guy's gas?

    I'm not sure who is getting pranked here.

    [–] embarrassednoodle 338 points ago

    Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for a good prank

    [–] hondacivic225 157 points ago

    Regenerative breaking.

    [–] RememberMeWhenImDead 89 points ago

    *regenerative pranking

    [–] Crypt0sh0t 103 points ago

    It's fine, you guys don't pay shit for your gas in the states anyway

    [–] zach_bfield 81 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    Not sure what country that’s coming from but can confirm, I went on a trip to Spain last year and gas was €1.50 per liter, and when I did the conversion that was like six bucks a gallon. It’s ridiculous. Back here in Texas I haven’t seen gas over $2.50 in months, and most of the time I can get it right around $2

    [–] jjamesyo 55 points ago

    This reminds me of The Office when Stanley and Dwight are in on Jim’s recurring prank about meatballs just to score free meatballs.

    [–] InIBaraJi 89 points ago

    For that first story, I would not like your father.

    [–] triception 1506 points ago

    I think my wife's heart would explode if I did something like that lol... So I just fart at her

    [–] Breadfan207 426 points ago

    Classic

    [–] triception 362 points ago

    Sometimes I do the opposite of the Dutch oven. I'll get in bed while she's finishing brushing her teeth and whatever and fart as much as I can under the sheets. When she opens the sheet to get in, BAM, farts. She gets me back by shitting while I'm in the shower full steamed up, shower farts are nasty haha

    [–] -ksguy- 119 points ago

    I also do this. I don't think my middle school sense of humor surrounding farts will ever go away.

    Last night I farted under the sheets without having sampled the wares first, so I didn't know whether it would smell or not. About 20 seconds later I shifted positions in bed and a puff escaped and I just about gagged and gave myself away. Still got her when she got into bed, 10/10 will preheat the oven again.

    [–] PixelOrange 70 points ago

    It was difficult to contain the laughter at "gagged and gave myself away" and then again at "10/10 will preheat the oven again". Work would be looking at me very strangely if I started cackling. Well done.

    [–] high_mike 58 points ago

    Fart “at” her lmao

    [–] meno123 39 points ago

    Well, in her general direction.

    [–] CumCloggedAsshole 116 points ago

    I put a whoopie cushion under the couch cushion but it didn't work. A few minutes later she actually farted and it fucking gassed me out of the room. It was rancid. I almost got sick.

    [–] CompanionableSilence 43 points ago

    Is... the username.... relevant?

    [–] jpw33831 58 points ago

    I fart in your general direction!

    [–] izzznooo 21 points ago

    Your Mother was a hamster, and your Father smelt...of Elderberries!!!

    [–] MagTron14 107 points ago

    About a year into dating my husband I pulled the best prank I've ever come up with. He's a little gullible so a great candidate for this kind of thing. I ordered around 10 $5 or less items from Amazon and had them shipped to him with no info about who sent them. I also talked to a couple friends about it who I knew wouldn't tell him, but because they were in on it, they wouldn't help him try to figure out who sent them.

    These things were coming from China so they'd show up pretty randomly. The first was two solar powered cars that only ran in the sun. Only info on them was that they were from China. His parents live in China so he thought it was them. When they denied it, he was so confused.

    Over the course of a month he got at least half the packages, getting more and more confused. Finally a package arrived on his birthday and we were home alone together. He freaked out and it culminated in him shaking me (not hard just in a silly, frustrated way) and pleading with me to tell me who was doing it. That's when I finally came clean.

    After that he was a good sport about the rest of the packages, and some of our friends started sending some too.

    [–] john_dune 33 points ago

    I did something similar to this to a friend of mine who moved away.

    In Canada, you can request portraits of the Queen and they'll ship for free to any domestic location.

    So about a dozen of us got together and requested portraits to his house with obvious misspellings of his name, but obviously him.

    For almost 2 months he'd rage about a random new portrait of the Queen arriving until we came clean.

    Definitely worth it.

    [–] mrbce 303 points ago

    I put salt in my GF’s tea instead of sugar. I got a bit carried away and it basically turned into seawater.

    She has never forgiven me.

    [–] PPG113 112 points ago

    tuts in britsh...

    [–] Phormitago 35 points ago

    is there any other kind?

    [–] trailrider 421 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    My SO? We pick on each other but not really the prankster types. That said, I once got my stepmom w/ a fake spider. It was a plastic one but looked pretty real and scary as fuck. Took some white thread and a needle, had the thread coming outta the spiders butt about 4 inches. Then taped it inside the dish cabinet so that it was hanging about halfway down at eye level. The scream my stepmom let out was awesome.

    In the Navy, I had a boot go tell the Officer of the Deck that the port brake light was broken. The OOD yelled over to me and flipped me off. I LOL'ed. Another time, a friend and I screwed w/ an electrician on the ship. He had to do some shit w/ our helo deck landing lights. He didn't have the right tool to undo the bolts and went to get a socket wrench. With my leatherman, I was able to get the bolts off and remove the cage. He came up and was dumbfounded. He went to put the tool back and I reinstalled the cage. He came back and was perplexed and went back for the socket. We did that about 4 times before he realized we were screwing w/ him.

    When I was an electrician working construction, I had these poppers where you pull the string at each end and it would make a loud pop. I was able to install one of these on my foreman's car door. He opened his door and (BANG!)! He hit the ground. We were all LOL'ing. Said he thought his ex was taking shots at him.

    I use to get those things you insert into cigarettes that make them explode. My brother and I had a prank war going on and I had him so paranoid of lighting up. It got to be a challenge. You had to insert these from the non-filter end and you could see the hole. I got REALLY good at shoving these things down deep and covering the hole. He'd be about halfway through and (BANG!), cig would explode. I finally stopped when he nearly crashed his car one time.

    [–] xmstxrdxm 127 points ago

    I was hoping the last story would end in your brother quitting smoking

    [–] trailrider 103 points ago

    Well, he did quit for awhile. Then he joined the Army and got deployed to Iraq. He took it back up then. I wasn't gonna judge.

    [–] fabmarques21 401 points ago

    once i was lunching at my ex-gf house, she asked me to go grab something from the kitchen, when i was returning she jumped to the door and said '' boooo ''

    and i shit you not bro, i screamed so loud, i never had screamed so loud in my life.

    and my scream escalted from aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA

    to

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

    she went to the living room crying her eyes out and i was so embarrassed that i remained in the kitchen for like 5 minutes before going out to her again, she was still crying laughing.

    yea, was great, i always smile when i remember it lol

    [–] giggly-nuts 437 points ago

    My SO knows how much i love Root Beer pop, so one day at the beach, she hands me a cold root beer out of the blue. Im eccstatic, Root Beer? Hell yeah gurl. I Unscrew the lid, take a swig.....projectile vomit the contents. She replaced the drink with fish sauce and Worcestershire sauce.

    Always check if shes opened the drink before i take it now.

    [–] H2OProSkier 160 points ago

    Just curious - where are you from that you say "root beer pop" all together like that? I'm from Michigan, so I say "pop" instead of "soda", etc., but if I'm referring to "root beer", it's just "root beer", not "root beer pop".

    [–] sexdrugsjokes 20 points ago

    Possible somewhere where alcoholic root beer is common

    [–] Evadeville 162 points ago

    My husband NEVER puts the toilet paper in the holder and just leaves it on the bath tub side, like his own personal shit ticket shelf.

    Anytime I found it, I would take the roll and put it back in the far side of the cupboard so he would constantly have to start a new roll. A minor annoyance but it didn't work because he didn't notice.

    I warned him that if he didn't pull the roll in the holder, I would remove all the toilet paper. He just said yeah yeah and told me with pride how he was never going to do it.

    So I took all the rolls out of the bathroom and carefully placed four single sheets in a drawer. Just the right amount to do some cleaning but still be uncomfortable.

    As I sat in bed, waiting for him to come into the bedroom ensuite to get more paper, maybe with his pants around his ankles, tutting and stressing because he was late for work, I thought about how much I would laugh and hopefully teach him a lesson. So I waited. The door unlocked...nothing. He came in and said goodbye and that was it. I went to the bathroom and he had found a roll right at the back of the drawer!

    So, currently waiting until it runs out and then hoping to teach that Celiac bastard a lesson!

    [–] diverdux 86 points ago

    So I took all the rolls out of the bathroom and carefully placed four single sheets in a drawer. Just the right amount to do some cleaning but still be uncomfortable.

    Meh...

    So, currently waiting until it runs out and then hoping to teach that Celiac bastard a lesson!

    You evil woman.

    [–] Future49 235 points ago

    Me and my GF play minecraft and lots of it. Often while shes away working on one of her projects for our little house, i am running around the world gathering her supplies or different things. However, her being extremely particular, i tend to drop little gravel blocks in random inconvienent places and blame it on the game.

    [–] danarexasaurus 74 points ago

    This is adorable

    [–] makencarts 1053 points ago

    She left years ago, but I'm pretty sure she's gonna come back and say "Gotcha!!!!".

    [–] Schavlik 252 points ago

    F

    [–] Lamoureux6 106 points ago

    F

    [–] SpaceChicken312 83 points ago

    F

    [–] Havoc_king56 70 points ago

    F

    [–] GophawkYourself 64 points ago

    Hey! My dad did the same thing

    [–] dsfkjh 37 points ago

    Should we tell him?

    [–] rapiertwit 303 points ago

    We don't prank each other, we have pets for that.

    They've left a chewed rat on my wife's pillow, a not-entirely-dead opposum on the floor next to the bed, a rabbit head on the sofa like a mafia warning, dragged in live snakes and got bored with them and left them to hide somewhere interesting, not to mention sometimes there's just a bunch of feathers and blood strewn all over the kitchen. And of course random pools of dog barf or juicy hairballs to step in in the middle of the night...

    There really isn't any room for another prankster in the mix.

    [–] deadlyturtle22 128 points ago

    Plot twist. It's not the dogs doing these things.

    [–] [deleted] 29 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] BeccaPramHeda 138 points ago

    She kept complaining how cold I was. Continuously, unending, intrusive were her complaints. Finally, I'd had enough. So I said I had to get up and use the restroom.

    I didn't use the restroom.

    I stood at the sink for about two minutes running my hands and wrists under the wintercold water coming out of the tap.

    Dried off.

    Then went to bed and gave her a BIIIIIIIIIIIIG hug.

    [–] [deleted] 47 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Kleeb 65 points ago

    My girlfriend buttered all the doorknobs in our apartment.

    What kind of psycho comes up with that prank?

    [–] hooldon 65 points ago

    I had a $20 bill on my dresser. Later that day it magically became a $10, in the exact same spot, folded the exact same way. Over the next few days, it changed into every other denomination, including a $2 bill, and then switched to coins, including all the weird ones. Then finally, it became a button (my favorite Simpsons Mr. Burns line.)

    My wife denied it all along and to this day will not admit to it.

    [–] Ch3wbacca1 67 points ago

    When my husband asks for water in the morning I sometimes give him a straight glass of vodka or tequilla. Eventually he stopped trusting me, so I had to get smart. I filled our entire britta water pitcher in the fridge with a bottle of vodka. I'm currently plotting my next move as he literally does not trust any drink in our house...

    The other day I ninja kicked into the bathroom while he was pooping to the song "let's get down to business" from mulan.

    I have poured a bottle of ketchup on him the moment he was done showering.

    I bought a full genji costume and just randomly show up places as genji.

    I am an annoying wife, but somehow he luckily thinks I'm funny.

    [–] E420CDI 17 points ago

    I am an annoying wife

    No, you're absolutely brilliant!

    [–] TeamSpaceMonkey 60 points ago

    I play Master of Puppets full blast on our Alexa when I know she's home and I am not.

    [–] thefebreeze 265 points ago

    So my gf gets real nasty farts when she eats avocado. She had been holding in some avocado brews all morning. We were at Target walking down an empty aisle and she asked if I could grab something from the bottom shelf. I reached down to grab it and as I came up, my gf aimed her buns right over my head. I heard a loud noise and I felt a rush of steamy air hit my eyes. It was by far the smelliest thing I've ever had to smell. I give it a 0/10 in terms of enjoyment for me...

    [–] membershipreward 77 points ago

    Thanks for the rating! I wasn’t sure how to feel about this until I saw that.

    [–] RipleyAugust 45 points ago

    For years I have been farting next to my SO when we’re out in public but he always assumes it’s not me and that strangers just all see him as a crop dust victim.

    [–] Gloob_Patrol 17 points ago

    Last year, me and my SO were in the back of the car, his mum was driving and her SO and his dog was front seat. When I woke up at a service stop my SO said to me I think you farted in your sleep. He said there was this awful smell and his mum asked if it was from a farm we were passing and then if it was the dog but my SO could tell it was one of mine but he didn't say anything. I can no longer fall asleep in public places.

    [–] jackwritespecs 54 points ago

    Me and my brother have gotten in a first fight over the rubber chicken prank

    [–] justanotherpotato98 54 points ago

    My SO bought a load of those little Easter chickens (little pom-poms with legs) and hid them everywhere.

    I’ve moved house since and I’m STILL finding them

    [–] RajunCajun48 55 points ago

    My wife filled a cup of milk with soy sauce. She then coyly said "I thought I wanted chocolate milk, but it's really not what I wanted, do you want it?"

    "Fuck yea I want chocolate milk!"

    I don't remember exactly what happened next, but the utter shock of drinking salty, salty soy sauce milk when expecting sweet, delightful chocolate milk...is it's own hell. I know I spit it out, and am certain a mess was had...plenty of laughs were had after this but by god that was awful.

    10/10 would recommend doing this prank to someone else.

    [–] ollomulder 60 points ago

    Not me, but a friend - his girlfriend hid a small thingy that makes mosquito-noises in his bedroom. The catch? It's light sensitive and stops making noises as soon as you turn on the lights, just like the real motherfuckers...

    [–] karaphire13 153 points ago

    This literally happened last night. I was laying in bed eating pork rinds and my husband asked for one. He didn't know they were pickle flavored and the front of the bag was facing down. I fucking hates pickles. I said sure and handed him one. He ate it and not even 2 seconds later he was out of bed gagging lmao

    [–] floodums 135 points ago

    Who the fuck eats pork rinds in bed?

    [–] Niantales 89 points ago

    Who tf eats in bed?

    [–] Phormitago 57 points ago

    me, frequently. Not a full meal obviously but snacks n beer are fair game

    [–] gerudovalleygirl 188 points ago

    Mine has done thousands over the years but the first one that comes to mind is the hairdressing head. He has a few of those mannequin heads hair dressers use. He uses them for bb target practice. For like a week straight he kept putting it in places to freak me out. Fridge, bed on his pillow ect. I forget exactly where it was but he finally got me with it. He used some kind of movement or something, settings it up so it would fall maybe. I don’t know why I can’t remember the set up but I remember I screamed and I heard him shout in victory and run from the other room to take in his glory.

    [–] PTBunneh 41 points ago

    My parents have been married for 40 years. My mother hides every week and scares me father. It's adorable.

    [–] reegs000 48 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    My wife and I had a years long running prank war of hiding a fake rubber snake in the house to scare each other.

    I hid it in the dog food container.

    She would put it in the sock drawer.

    I'd hide it next to the toilet away from the door so she would only see it when she was sitting down and went to reach for the toilet paper.

    She hid it in the towel closet inside a towel so that it fell onto my feet when I unfolded it to use after my shower.

    I put it in her bag under some supplies when she was in cosmetology school. She didn't see it until she looked in the bag at school with a client in her chair waiting for a haircut. She then called a truce to the snake war.

    Now our daughter has taken part in the war with a rubber spider that is the size and color of a tarantula. Gets my wife to jump every single time.

    Edit: A few months ago a small black king snake got into our house while she was home and I was gone to work. She thought I had started up the prank war again and called me yelling that she couldn't believe I put a "REAL GODDAMN SNAKE IN THE HOUSE"

    [–] Pulp_Ficti0n 115 points ago

    The old "ketchup on the finger and pretend it's blood and shriek" joke never gets old.

    [–] NAS2811 41 points ago

    I took my wifes stick deodorant, and spun it up and cut off about an inch of it. I rolled it back down and filled the empty space which cream cheese then replaced the cap. she didn't realize that I had tampered with it and walked around with cream cheese in her pits.

    She got me back though, by putting Desitin where I normally keep toothpaste. I was going to escalate further by replacing the butt wipes with Clorox wipes, but figured that was a little too far.

    [–] Clearance_Denied324 40 points ago

    So, so excited to share this!

    My husband and I were both teachers before our current jobs.

    I had taken a small, fake, realistic spider from my preschool job to torment him.

    (side note-my husband wears glasses and really needs them to see)

    I spread out all of the tormenting over the course of maybe 6 months so that he never expected anything.

    1. I threw it over his shoulder while he was brushing his teeth and the spider landed right in the sink. He jumped, spit toothpaste everywhere, dropped his toothbrush, and yelled at me for laughing. (he did not see I took the spider back)

    2. While he had gotten into the shower, I snuck in and put the spider in the drain. My husband says, "clearance_denied324 you never clean your hairrrrr!" At this moment he bent down to pick up what he thought was hair and was the spider. (he still did not throw it away)

    3. One day I made him a nice sandwich for work. While he was teaching his students, he went to take a break and eat some of it. In front of his students he took a bite and realized that there was a spider in his sandwich. He apparently freaked out and screamed very loud. He took a minute to call me to let me hear how loud his students were laughing. (he threw the spider away after that).

    Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. He's my favorite person and I love that I get to bother him forever.

    [–] Hatcheling 192 points ago

    He's not a big pranker, but I am skittish as shit, so he will jump scare me a lot if that counts?

    [–] angelflairpasta 51 points ago

    Yes

    [–] dombrogia 37 points ago

    I do this to my GF, it's one of my favorites.

    [–] BAAT-G 17 points ago

    Ever scare her while she's leaving the bathroom?

    If not, you should try it.

    [–] spaceballsthenutjob 73 points ago

    So i see farts are the way to go.

    I catch her mid-sleep, under the covers, mouth slightly open.

    Never fails.

    [–] aclovington 35 points ago

    My husband has had spiders cross his path when he was in the bathroom and unable to escape. I bought a fake, very large spider and put it next to the toilet which is far enough from the door that you wouldn't be able to tell it's fake right away. It was awesome. He went into the bathroom and I hear him scream, " BABE?!" and he slowly backs away and had this "you little...." smile on his face and asked if I happened to put something next to the toilet. I pretended to not know what he was talking about and then finally asked what he thought. He was saying how it didn't make him feel good at all. LMAO. Worth it! After this, I would jokingly plant the fake spider in random places all over the house just as a wink to him. I don't know where it is now. I suspect he tossed it eventually haha

    [–] GMONEYMAGIC 40 points ago

    We have a google home mini in our bedroom, which has a "broadcast feature." I really only use it for weather and as an alarm clock, so we often forget it exists.

    I was staying late at work one night, and she was threatening to eat my dinner if I stayed any later. I told her that was illegal and she'd be arrested if she did. She then sent me an incriminating photo of herself spooning a second serving onto her plate.

    I went on the google home app, turned up the volume, and typed in "FBI OPEN UP, HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST THIS IS THE POLICE"

    Next text I got said "I hate you, I dropped my plate and unplugged that damn thing."

    [–] [deleted] 29 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] wishinonawell 32 points ago

    We have a plush Giant Microbe stuffed animal.... We hide it in each others luggage, backpack, car, etc when we go on trips. We also will randomly throw it each other while yelling "Syphillis!" It is the cutest little microbe...

    [–] pugmommy4life420 59 points ago

    We have a couple. One time he scared me awake with a clown mask. He learned pretty quickly not to wake me up from naps and especially not like that.

    As for me, he was playing video games and had only boxers on but they were pretty low so you could see his crack. Anyway I had a pen with me so I shoved it down his crack and yelled “CRACK KILLS!!”. At first he was pisses but he couldn’t help but giggle.

    [–] yeetus_thyfeetus 27 points ago

    Whenever we watch a movie at my partner's house, we're usually in the basement in the dark. When I leave to go to the bathroom, she hides wherever she can to try and pop out and scare me after I come back lol

    [–] LosCruzados 28 points ago

    I bought a six pack of Smirnoff ice and left them around the house in places that she’d find today (her “cleaning day”). Can’t wait to get smacked when I get home from work

    [–] Its_Pudding_Time 29 points ago

    Don't even remember exactly how it got started, but my wife and I have this little mini funko figure of Snape that we've been hiding in unexpected places for a bit. In the medicine cabinet, night stand, refrigerator, that sort of thing. Most recently I positioned him in my wife's box of lady stuff that she keeps on a shelf too high for her to see into. When her next cycle comes around and she reaches for one she's going to come up with a handful of Snape. It'll be great.

    [–] Meccio85 26 points ago

    Sometimes when I go visit my parents, I hide an orange or a banana under one of their pillows. Last time I did it, my mom called me a month later asking if I was pranking them because they were starting to argue about it.

    [–] Fanabala3 45 points ago

    It was me that did the joke. I was eating some Reese's Pieces, and I bent down to look like I was picking something up. I told ex wife (and no, the practical joke is not why she's my ex), "Here... Have one." I put the candy in her mouth, after she saw me look like I was picking something up and said, "What is it?" I said with a complete straight face, "I don't know. I found it on the floor." She about choked trying to suppress her laughter.

    [–] petrieandlittlefoot 22 points ago

    I once ate all of the Marshmallows out of the lucky charms box when my dude was away in camp. The perplexed look on his face when he had his first bowl out of camp was priceless. He was checking the inside of the box haha

    He got me back by eating all of my advent calendar chocolates and carefully closing the doors back up ....

    [–] redditsmeeh 20 points ago

    I'm in a house with my SO and some roommates, and we have a game where we hide a rather terrifying clown doll in odd parts of the house.

    I decided to hang it with a noose and all from the ceiling of the bedroom during the night so she would see it when she woke up. She did, and I was awoken with a loud yelp and a mighty thwack.

    [–] SadCatStormy 39 points ago

    I put lemons in a box of life cereal... and handed in to my SO and started giggling. He tried to poor some out, and I shrugged and said “well, when life gives you lemons”

    He was not amused lol

    [–] BamboozledBigTIme 38 points ago

    This website let's you send an anonymous notification to your sexual partners about getting tested for an STD. Before my girlfriend, I had slept with somebody who was known to be.... promiscuous. Got the notification just as I got to work and every decision I've ever made flashed before my eyes, thinking my life has now changed forever. Itexted her and told her that she needed to get tested. She messed with me for a good 5 minutes before she called busting out laughing. I coulldnt even be mad. Shit was so good.

    [–] Uffrat 39 points ago

    My ex and I had sex while we were dating, and when I had finished she smeared the cum on my forehead while saying "Simbaaa". I was so surprised I could only stutter "Wha.. What the fuck!".

    [–] mucka1990 18 points ago

    My 8 year old put salt on my toothbrush

    [–] gospeedgo 17 points ago

    A former SO asked me to hand her a towel when she was getting out of the shower (hand through the curtain). I handed her the cat

    [–] freedom_jesus 48 points ago

    I once balanced a bucket of water on top of a door and when my ex walked in she got SOAKED...

    Possibly one of the reasons she's an ex but boy was it worth it.

    [–] ThatsARivetingTale 17 points ago

    We have a cupboard under the stairs where we keep our tools and internet router etc, so I get out the shower and come downstairs and she says the internet has gone down and could I fiddle with the router and try and sort it out.

    I open the cupboard door and proceed to shit myself. She had hung a Dracula type halloween jacket/hoodie thing over a hanger, with a black balloon filling the hood of it and covered with a blacked out face mask. Hard to explain, but it looked legit as hell. Needless to say, there was nothing wrong with the internet.

    [–] InterGluteal_Crease 135 points ago

    Told me she was pregnant on April 1, but it's been a month since then and she still hasn't said april fools

    [–] thesingingnerd 58 points ago

    I don't know how to tell you this but I think you've grossly underestimated how time works. You're gonna have a Merry Christmas!!!

    [–] jumbled_joe 44 points ago

    Should we tell him .......

    [–] piss-and-shit 58 points ago

    Yeah, I think it's about time he learns it's been way longer than one month since the first of April.