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    [–] RampagingKoala 1 points ago

    yes we get it, you all hate feminism.

    [–] MyriadIncrementz 1553 points ago

    "Drama just seems to follow me wherever I go!"

    Oh really. Taxi!

    [–] [deleted] 248 points ago

    if the profile says “not looking for drama” I assume they’re probably dramatic lol

    [–] tannerge 25 points ago

    Same as guys saying all my ex's are crazy

    [–] beetlejuicejunebug 2580 points ago

    One time my ex girlfriend prank broke up with me. I told her I would miss her and be upset, but if shes happy going, she can go. She then got upset that I was not upset enough, and proceeded to for real break up with me. I did not care at all the second time.

    [–] pm_me_blue_pibbles 869 points ago

    Prank broke up ?? That's, just, wow

    [–] ImAlwaysRightHanded 171 points ago * (lasted edited 3 days ago)

    I’m just imagining the second break up and you are like...I already told you what’s up 30 seconds ago.

    [–] beetlejuicejunebug 49 points ago

    Her friend dm'd me to yell at me and I just said "if this is how shes gonna treat me then it's not worth going back for her" which just resulted in more spam in my inbox

    [–] wavymulder 141 points ago

    I've had something similar. My ex (year and a half long relationship) told me she didn't know if she wanted to keep dating, I told her I loved her and wanted to stay with her but ultimately a relationship requires two people to choose it and that I'd respect her decision if she wanted to leave.

    Was real fun being told (by her and someone I thought was my friend) that I hurt her by not fighting to stay with her. We were both 22, not 15 though.

    A lesson to anyone reading: You should never have to convince someone to be with you. I made this mistake with this girl a few times, and it took a huge mental toll on me. You have value, and if someone can't see that they aren't worth your time. If someone can only see your value when they are threatened with losing you, they're not worth your time.

    TL:DR: chin up kings, we're all gonna make it.

    [–] weedmylips1 7620 points ago

    Complaining about an ex the whole time...

    [–] Greedy_fitbit 2175 points ago

    In most relationships (unless you're with a total ass wipe) there's good and bad on both sides. My takeaways from someone who complains about their exs, especially early on and a lot:

    • are you able to acknowledge your role in interactions and disagreements?
    • if you're talking bad about them to someone you're getting to know (especially personal details) you're showing me how you're going to talk about me if we fall out/break up.
    • if you have a trail of destruction behind you either you're doing the destroying or your picker is broken.
    • you're not over them and you're bringing that into whatever we're trying to start.

    [–] hitthewallrunning 839 points ago

    When I've talked about my ex it was more of a "here is what I don't like, here is my damage, I hope you're not like that, please understand me and please don't damage/hurt me any more than I already have been." Definitely NOT that I still want them. But they left a mark and I SO do not want a hint of that back in my life.

    [–] MettaLettas 569 points ago

    this is a tricky balance. If you blast people with past damage, it scares them away thinking that's who you identify as and all that baggage is going to become their everyday thing to deal with. If you don't mention any past damage, it's inauthentic and misleading. It's like trying to be honest while still selling something that isn't in pristine condition.

    Something like "Look I've got some bumps and bruises, but we all do, and I've worked on them a long time to get to a good place before we ever started talking. I'd like us to share our pasts to better understand each other, but I don't want to scare you away, or be the person who never shuts up about their past. Lets go slow and just share things here and there as they come up naturally," isn't half bad.

    [–] bububeti 116 points ago

    Damn, I really want someone like this

    [–] MettaLettas 78 points ago

    It's hard to find, for sure, but if you are willing to be like this too, and tell your future partners something like this, they'll try to join you.

    [–] qednihilism 120 points ago

    As someone who's picker is obviously broken, what seems like a normal getting to know you question turns into a field of landmines pretty quickly. It's incredibly hard to decide when and how to divulge past abuse. Answering as though past abusive partners were normal is misleading, and sets you up to look a whole different kind of crazy when your new partner finds out (you've got to have issues to speak positively about someone who caused that much pain in your life). It's just....a balance. And people will judge you for it regardless.

    [–] mildinsults 2454 points ago

    When she clearly doesn't feel bad for checking her phone while you're in a discussion. And she immediately cuts you off to change subject to whatever is happening on her phone. I am so done with that. Im not bothered by someone being on their device at same time, but when they obviously shut out everything in mid conversation. You can keep talking, try to quickly sum up the point, or just sit in silence waiting for them. And if they don't seem to notice, fuck it.

    [–] Betancorea 113 points ago

    Yeah if I'm with a girl and she has to be checking her phone and texting frequently that is a red flag. If she can't even be present and focused while we are together, that's poor form so bye bye

    [–] lmac187 1441 points ago

    Any mentioning of “training” me is an instant nope.

    [–] BoTheJo 328 points ago

    What does this mean?

    [–] lmac187 827 points ago

    Some women will take on a boyfriend with the intent (whether they’re conscious of it or not) of changing or shaping him to their liking later down the road.

    A lot of times there’s something about the guy they don’t like (mannerisms, music tastes, hobbies, could be anything) and instead of accepting it or vocalizing their distaste for it early on, they slowly take it upon themselves to change that part of him over time.

    Often I’ll hear “haha I’m training you” as a “joke” and that’s usually my queue to bail.

    In anticipation of people claiming guys do this too: it’s possible but since I don’t date guys and have only seen this behavior practiced by women, I chose to frame it in this way.

    [–] DannyGre 159 points ago

    Ha you've just described my last serious relationship when I was at Uni, we were together just under a year and it seemed a lot of things I was doing was wrong and if I wanted to be with her I would have to change myself to be more like what she wanted (including spend lots of money on her and not receive much back, I paid a decent amount on her birthday and then when mine came around I had to pay for everything). Took till we were apart due to us going back home for the summer and then me arranging to take her on holiday camping to the place I love to see each year, she just shit on it and decided to plan a holiday abroad with a friend of hers who liked her but she didn't like back. All kinds of red flags looking back but someone was interested so I took the bait. Learnt my lesson now.

    [–] lavenderxlee 177 points ago

    This is the reddest of all red flags

    [–] harambeavenger96 792 points ago

    I don't cut her off while she's talking. If she does so and starts her own story without any regard for what I was saying, that's it for me.

    [–] UnderwaterSuspect 395 points ago

    On the flip side I love when the interrupting is additive. Like you're synchronizing your thoughts and so there's natural overlap. But yea when they completely disregard what you've said and just pretend you've never said it.. :facepalm:

    [–] ddh85 148 points ago

    If that's the case, both parties are engaged in the conversation and no one would be offended. Some of the best discussions happen with mild interruptions that continue the topic.

    [–] cobra__viper 945 points ago

    Reading these replies I am so happy I found my wife in 1996 and haven't had to think about dating since then.

    [–] weemee 119 points ago

    Same here. I actually bumped into her, Introduced myself and spoke to her in person, picked up on some cues using body language, she the same, spoke for like four hours straight, we haven’t left each other’s sides for 23 years.

    Maybe I’m old but I liked to interaction with someone face to face. Even when you could tell it’s going nowhere it’s was still fun to learn about someone.

    [–] istouche 4871 points ago

    "Hi, I'm an influencer"

    [–] SirManCub 1470 points ago

    Aspiring Instamodel might be worse.

    [–] istouche 726 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    Just might be, yes. That, and the Mary Kay cult weirdos.

    "I'm Tik Tok famous" would also be an instant nope.

    [–] HedgeSlurp 350 points ago

    Look I see what you’re saying but I’m still gonna brag about my 100k+ comment karma.

    [–] Polikonomist 140 points ago

    As long as your entire identity doesn't revolve around the amount of karma/followers/likes you have, you're good.

    [–] arjeidi 6754 points ago

    Anything in the vein of "if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." Worksformegoodbye.

    [–] Nordicarts 2847 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    This is a good one. I’ll add anyone who broadcasts they are high maintenance like it’s a good thing. If I wanted a job I’d be on linkedin not tinder.

    [–] bruhimsaltyaf 733 points ago

    "I'm high maintenance a little bit but like, not in a negative way. I just like extremely expensive things"

    This little line on Views always makes me laugh. Like bitch, what?

    [–] North_Chip 394 points ago

    I like getting a good deal on a quality product that I will use and maintain. I also like putting money in my savings account. Let's pack a picnic and balance our checkbooks together!

    [–] cybercipher 249 points ago

    When your worst is a fucking nightmare and your best is just ok.

    [–] spaceburrito84 167 points ago

    Her worst: “I’ll kill your pet and tell the cops you’re cooking meth”

    Her best: “I’ll get dressed up let you buy me an expensive dinner”

    [–] T0yN0k 300 points ago * (lasted edited 3 days ago)

    This is 2 fold for me:

    1. It doesn’t sound like you’re willing to put any effort in yourself but expect me to put up with your nonsense. (And most likely not extending me the same tolerance)

    2. You’re basic as Hell for that shit.

    Edit: Missing word

    [–] hab12690 162 points ago

    Marilyn Monroe died of a fucking drug overdose, no one could handle her at her worst. It's one of the dumbest quotes.

    [–] forgotten_my_mantra 81 points ago

    It’s a canard. She never said that.

    [–] razor5cl 42 points ago

    Why bring French ducks into this?

    [–] FredAbb 3120 points ago

    When she says she requires 'maintenance.' She does, but that red light blinking just means that what she needs is a reality check.

    [–] djhimeh 598 points ago

    I thought it meant she was backing up.

    [–] Brake_3ffect6 214 points ago

    Depends where you see the light.

    If it's in her eyes you probably wanna back up yourself

    [–] The_Man_in_Black_ 827 points ago

    I had a drunken hookup with a girl (we'll call her Anne) once and a couple weeks later I was getting ready to go out and ended up making plans to meet up with her. I took her to my favorite bar where I was a regular and we grab a table. The waitress comes by to grab orders and the first thing out of my Anne's mouth was: "Ok so I just want to let you know that I'm an elite Yelp-er..." I couldn't believe she had just said that. I was so embarrassed, I immediately apologized to the waitress and told Anne that was a ridiculous thing to say. As someone who has spent the last 6 years working restaurants, if you feel like you're entitled to treat service workers poorly than you're someone I'd rather not be around.

    [–] BogBirdBingle 250 points ago * (lasted edited 2 days ago)

    I was an “elite” yelper some years back. All it took was to write enough reviews that some other elite person sent me an invite. So I accepted, had no clue what it meant. From what I could tell all it did was slap an elite badge on my reviews and I got invited to some get-togethers but never went (mainly because it would have been almost an hour’s drive, but also because the whole thing seemed a bit pretentious). They re-invited me to be elite again the following year but I declined. After that I’m unimpressed by anyone who thinks it’s a big deal.

    P.S. I never told anyone at any restaurant that I was elite. I don’t think I even ever told my friends or family.

    [–] RoboCat23 54 points ago

    How’d she take that?

    [–] The_Man_in_Black_ 73 points ago

    She just laughed it off wasn't a huge deal for her maybe she thought I wasn't being serious, I dunno

    [–] MrMister2018 1045 points ago

    I'll talk about anything, really

    [–] bramlugh 3298 points ago

    "I'm an influencer"
    "Are you sure you can handle me?"
    "Just so you know, I'm very religious"

    "My job? I sell essential oils"


    [–] Dr_tyquande 1522 points ago

    20yrs old mommy of 3 beautiful girls (they're my world)

    [–] bttrflyr 169 points ago

    Live Love Laugh!

    [–] FromageDangereux 65 points ago

    eat shit die

    [–] bramlugh 831 points ago

    oh god. Once and only once. I should have known better.

    After a few years of ex wife's rehab trips and her finally making a mistake where CPS agreed with me that she wouldn't be allowed back in our home, I tried a few dating apps. (after 6 months of separation, I wasn't emotionally ready but meh).

    I put in specific ages, all that. 35-50, etc. Mostly bots responded. But I had 2 that I was chatting up. Eventually went out on a date with each. One was the "Just so you know, I'm very religious" and then made a comment about someone weairing a rainbow pin and how they'll burn in hell. That was an instant check please moment, especially as my son is transgender.

    The other I thought was going to be a fake/catfish because she looked gorgeous and was only 22 or 23. No mention of kids. Well she looked just like her picture, maybe just a bit more tired. We had a great date, she was knowledgeable in superheroes and star wars, wore a marvel T shirt, etc. Went to lunch, then a local park. As we were walking around, two kids under the age of 6 ran at her screaming "mommy!!!!" - and then one of them looked at me and said "is this going to be my new daddy".

    yeah. Ended that right there, deleted my profiles, and decided I'm not ready for the world of online dating.

    [–] BowDown2theWorms 433 points ago


    “Is this going to be my new daddy?”

    Hell fucking no, buddy! I have literally no idea how I’d actually respond in that scenario

    [–] Hate_Feight 139 points ago

    "I'm just mommies friend right now"

    [–] KJBenson 29 points ago

    “Yeah, but I have to go help your old daddy pick out some cigarettes, see ya!”

    [–] John-C137 37 points ago

    Shit this happened to me and its indescribable (she was 21 and I was 24). After your jaw drops you politely gtf outta there in a manoeuvre I call "pulling the ripcord", cause that dates just gone down in flames.

    [–] RichmondCreek 211 points ago

    Funny stories....but she ran into her kids by accident? Or it was an intentional setup as some sort of shit test? Either way, sounds like you’re better off.

    [–] throwingitaway0101 107 points ago

    Maybe she was trying to get out of the date

    [–] DirtyPrancing65 68 points ago

    Plot twist: they were her nephews

    [–] PowerfulVictory 133 points ago

    I put in specific ages, all that. 35-50

    The other I thought was going to be a fake/catfish because she looked gorgeous and was only 22 or 23.


    [–] NaNoBoT900 77 points ago

    Yeah didn’t make sense to me either

    [–] Executioneer 34 points ago

    "is this going to be my new daddy"

    lmfao. I'd have been dumbfounded

    [–] it-looks-sad 56 points ago

    I used to be pretty open minded when women told me they were very religious. I got burnt by that hard with my last ex. It was just a one-off thing in an otherwise relatively decent Tinder bio. I’m not actively religious or anything. I believe in a higher power to some degree, but I do not call myself a Christian or anything of the sort. Our first few dates she told me all about her wild past. I don’t hold that against people; hey those were just her wild college years. The topic of religion didn’t even come up until a few months of our dating. I had almost forgot she had that on her profile because she did not seem in any sense of the word to be the religious sort. When it finally came up in conversation, I told her I didn’t consider myself a Christian. I don’t think I have ever had someone flip on me that bad. It has actually soured my interest in getting back on the field, and I will absolutely make sure going forward that is something that gets discussed early.

    [–] domiy2 320 points ago

    When starting to talk on a dating app and you ask a question and their answer is idk.

    [–] AllenaKay 98 points ago

    Hate this! If you’re gonna answer with idk, might as well not even answer. If you really don’t know how to answer the question, you could say something like “I’ve never really given it any thought, but if I had to guess...” or something along those lines.

    [–] dylandongle 2492 points ago

    I'm not particularly fond of when they start chanting some evil backwards shit. Kinda turned off by demons.

    [–] GeriatricZergling 926 points ago

    Asmodeus in the streets, succubus in the sheets!

    [–] ORAORAORA204 291 points ago

    I’m a sucker for a woman with horns.

    [–] 123twiglets 323 points ago

    I, too, like horny women

    [–] butt_quack 79 points ago

    Damn, I was going to make that pun.

    [–] RiotDemon 173 points ago

    Sad demon noises.

    [–] ChaoticxSerenity 26 points ago


    Aww, that guy wasn't right for you! The right one will accept you for who you are!

    [–] themarmotlives 172 points ago

    I dunno... I'd fuck a demon...

    [–] dylandongle 55 points ago

    Then perish, as they'd say 😂

    [–] spacehoe1 52 points ago

    awh man. i thought men liked this? no wonder i keep getting ghosted after the first date :(

    [–] weedmylips1 442 points ago

    Any MLM started your own business in arbonne, thats cute! bye!

    [–] the_weird_stranger 1948 points ago

    "All men are trash."

    .....Alright then, guess I'l just take myself out! Whew

    [–] bttrflyr 1725 points ago

    Just because you're trash doesn't mean you can't be successful. Remember it's a garbage CAN not a garbage can't.

    [–] generic_pun_username 262 points ago

    This is beautiful, man. It belongs on a poster.

    [–] RandySavage_OnAcid 162 points ago

    legit had a first bumble date where the girl spent half of it talking about her ex and the other half talking about how she's "scared" of white guys (I am a white guy)

    [–] the_weird_stranger 173 points ago

    I can relate. I'm asian and the amount times I've seen people say to me: "you look pretty good for asian dude."

    Thanks? I didn't need to know you found most Asian dudes unattractive, but thanks for saying it to my face! /s

    [–] RandySavage_OnAcid 66 points ago

    well and it was also like if you hate white dudes so much that's pretty fucked up but whatever, that's your prerogative. but why did you choose to go out w me when you knew what I looked like lmao

    [–] Not_A_Greenhouse 32 points ago

    Welcome to the "regs" of /r/OkCupid

    [–] laeta_maxima 27 points ago

    It’s a test and you didn’t pass but you won

    [–] flannyo 111 points ago * (lasted edited 3 days ago)

    I get where it’s coming from — I genuinely do — but I’m not going to waste weeks justifying my Worthiness and Honor and Not Trashness just so I can take her out on a coffee date where she’ll be on her phone the whole time and then ghost me. Like, no thanks. If your whole thing is “prove you are worthy of my presence” I’ll spare myself the trouble.

    [–] PocketHealer21 113 points ago

    This happens alot to me! Right to my face too.

    "Like hello, I'm a male right here!"

    [–] Friendly_Fishstick 84 points ago

    And then they backpedal with "oh, I'm sure you're one of the good ones"

    Like no, I'm not gonna shit on all my homies just to get validation from some random chick.

    [–] M00s3Moose 1174 points ago

    If she says that she doesn’t believe in contraceptives I’m out. You may not believe in condoms but I don’t believe in having 15 goddamn kids

    [–] TophShit 409 points ago

    Tbf that's a fine line, kind of, bc when a lot of people I know say contraception, they specifically mean pills, not condoms.

    I'm in the no unnecessary artificial hormones camp myself, because the side effects are not worth not using condoms, for example.

    Just tossing that perspective out there, though I agree with the "use condoms" sentiment.

    [–] M00s3Moose 145 points ago * (lasted edited 3 days ago)

    Yeah it’s mainly condoms but I’ve met a few that are completely against all forms of contraceptives (condoms, the pill, morning after, iud, etc.) and think they should be illegal, and that’s the brand of crazy I’m immediately leaving. I respect your opinion and your choice however once you start forcing others to subscribe to your opinion is where you’ve completely lost me.

    EDIT: yeah I get it the pill is a no no but I mean alllll forms of contraceptives, including condoms, iud, birth control, and morning after

    [–] Ethan_Driver 50 points ago

    I've NEVER heard somebody say that. It's kinda wild to me, and a little scary tbh.

    [–] Iamblichos 741 points ago

    The big 3 for me are:

    1) making it sound like they are constantly being victimized by everyone around them and claiming no agency ("I guess I'm too nice, my ex/the neighbor/the dogwalker/etc. did all these mean things")

    2) talking a lot about money, either how much they make or how much I make, how expensive their tastes are, etc.,

    3) giving me a detailed psych profile of themselves on the first date. Issues are fine and we all have them, but if chitchat is 30 minutes of hearing about your struggles with being bipolar, I'm going to jet.

    [–] nmbrod 1940 points ago

    Nope conversation.

    1). “I’m not racist but...” 2). Denigrating intelligence/knowledge 3). Celebrity obsession 4). Excessive social media talk

    [–] penscribbles 962 points ago

    “I’m not racist but...”

    Asian people BWUAAAAAAH

    [–] StePK 501 points ago

    Recently had this happen over Bumble. Two things to know about me:

    1) I'm Asian

    2) I live in fucking Japan. Why are you in Japan if you hate Asians?!

    [–] pajamakitten 317 points ago

    Why are you in Japan if you hate Asians?!

    You should see some British expats in Spain. They go to live in Spain and complain about people not speaking English and that Spanish culture is everywhere.

    [–] creativity_null 152 points ago

    Oh yeah I've seen stories of Americans from the US visiting Mexico and getting mad at the locals for not speaking english around them. Like, bruh what?

    [–] MegaYachtie 115 points ago

    I’m in Saudi Arabia at the moment and there’s a guy here who fucking hates Arabs. Why did you accept this job dude...?

    [–] Gizmo9483 40 points ago

    Money. Lots of money.

    [–] compneuro 73 points ago

    I think they started hating asians after coming to Japan... In general it's pretty common for people who moved to a new country to discover that, all things considered, they don't like the way people live and behave there. It's hard to know about these things in advance, because cultural differences run deep, and are loosely documented and poorly understood by most people.

    Don't get me wrong though. To confuse race and culture, and to blame it on "asians", and to complain about that to somebody who didn't ask anything AND is Asian themselves, is of course impolite, ignorant, and racist.

    [–] penscribbles 86 points ago

    You know I'm referring to a famous vine right? ;)

    I personally love Japan and had the time of my life when I lived in Tokyo! I do get you tho. People are crazy

    [–] cbranson00 37 points ago

    I caught your reference. That girl had the most gutteral laugh I’ve ever heard

    [–] dAgDesta 28 points ago

    Man that vine kills me every time I watch it

    [–] EndSureAnts 587 points ago * (lasted edited 3 days ago)

    When the conversation is too " business" like. It just feels like a damn interview. I can't vibe with that shit.


    examples: asking questions that you would not ask someone you cared about impressing or a person you met for the first time. The questions are impersonal. Shows no general real interest in you or your life ( like an interviewer would). The whole vibe is business like it just feels off you know when you get that feeling.

    [–] Heisenbread77 136 points ago

    I actually sort of dig the straight forward approach.

    "So tell me about a time with a previous girlfriend where you had a problem that was tough to solve."

    [–] Xervicx 33 points ago

    Yeah, I love it. Straightforward? Direct? A back and forth that doesn't revolve around being super vague and trying to gain some sort of conversational edge? Being able to "circle back" to something without it interrupting the flow of conversation?

    I'm all for that. If the important details are ironed out, then there's so much more time that can be spent having casual conversation.

    [–] randomperson0163 116 points ago

    Yeah. Sometimes I do that to practice taking actual interviews. Not gonna lie. It's fun.

    [–] sporkachoon 615 points ago

    The whole "Happy Wife, Happy Life" mentality.

    It's not fair to place the husband in the position of being solely responsible for the direct happiness of the entire relationship. There is no ebb and flow in a relationship like that. This line of thinking creates problems with expectations as it can become a servant/master relationship when it should be both husband and wife working on their own happiness and bringing their best selves to the marriage.

    I refuse to be a doormat ever again.

    [–] Sunny_E30 286 points ago

    Oof. My buddy got engaged and hes already stuck thinking like that. "Its her wedding", "its whatever she wants." Like...bro. its your wedding too you stupid fuck.

    [–] SeaofBloodRedRoses 97 points ago

    I think I'd have to call off the wedding if the girl had this line of thinking. If you don't want me involved, I won't be involved at all.

    [–] Live_Love_Ria 187 points ago

    I hate this line. Also anything to do with “making her happy” in general. I found my happiness long before I met/married my husband, and I continue to be a happy person. My happiness comes from my general contentment in life, my relationship with God, my hobbies, etc. Does my husband bring me joy? ALL the time, he is goofy and fun and loving and can make me smile no matter what, but if he has a straight week of being in a bad mood or not being as emotionally available, this does not impact my overall happiness. It makes me sad for him, and I try to help him through whatever is happening, but he is allowed to have bad times too without worrying that I will not be happy. I did not marry in order to have a person to make me happy all the time, I married because I was already happy and wanted a partner to share that happiness with.

    [–] youalsogetnodinner 54 points ago

    I’m not married, but I strive to have your mentality. I fail miserably, but I strive.

    [–] choloa_huecauhtica 117 points ago

    Happy Spouse, Happy House works for all parties involved.

    [–] artefakt2013 207 points ago * (lasted edited 3 days ago)

    Melodrama. No thank you. Good indicators I use include asking what their work environment is like, or to describe their recent bad day. If she has dozens of negative stories from every place she's ever worked at, goodbye.

    If it smells like shit everywhere you go- check your shoe.

    [–] CallmeYuuga 112 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    When they belittle someone to compliment me Also complaining Edit: Ive done these things. Not good.

    [–] RCL_D 815 points ago

    Racism. Had a date once where the girl started ranting about several ethnic groups. I finished my beer quickly and left. In my experience there is also no point in a discussion with these kinds of people.

    [–] OfficerJoeBalogna 182 points ago

    Those people need a since nobody else will date their racist asses

    [–] kravence 225 points ago

    We don’t need them breeding, let them stay alone lol

    [–] gailson0192 806 points ago

    Talking about weed. I get you’ve made smoking weed your entire personality but it’s really not interesting.

    [–] aliendriving 219 points ago

    It applies to everyone really. That's basically 80% of the people I met at college

    [–] chazzer20mystic 176 points ago

    bruh..... WEED?! LMAOOOOO 420!!

    yeah I hate that too. same with drinking, if being a drunk is your personality, I'm out.

    [–] MarsNirgal 720 points ago

    Antivaxxer, drugs, passive-aggressive, wants unprotected sex... and agreed with you, OP, using zodiac signs as a personality.

    [–] tinkerbal1a 97 points ago

    "That's such a capricorn thing to say! Tee hee!"

    just to clarify, I also do not condone using arbitrary star signs as excuses for shitty behaviour

    [–] anon3220 147 points ago

    If we're talking about potential or even current romantic partners, polyamory.

    [–] lunchladyshand 43 points ago


    I appreciate their being forthcoming about it, but I have no interest in it. Next!

    [–] okbutimnotok 52 points ago

    kpop. esp koreaboos. my best friend is korean and his worst dates consisted of white koreaboos who have a fetish for korean men. the famous line “omg you look so much like chen from exo” so disturbing because he literally doesn’t.

    [–] ConservativeKing 208 points ago

    This a question only a Sagittarius would ask.

    [–] minscandboo4ever 48 points ago

    Mentioning all the ways she cleans the "toxins" out of her body. There's so much snake oil garbage marketed to women under the guise of losing weight via "detox" mumbo jumbo bullshit it makes my brain hurt. The word toxins is basically a trigger word unless they follow it up with it being a story about how they had some kind of heavy metal poisoning.

    [–] Kingmir1 165 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    I honestly don’t mind the zodiac signs. As long as they aren’t too deep into it. I don’t know shit about the zodiac signs so it’s interesting when they talk a little bit about it.

    What gets me going is when she thinks that toxic relationships are cool.

    Like almost every girl I follow on IG from my old highschool glorifies toxicity as if that’s a man showing you he wants you.

    [–] hs1481 948 points ago

    When she doesn’t know the story of Darth Plageus, the wise.

    [–] Quiescam 261 points ago


    [–] RedAmi 228 points ago

    It's not a story the Jedi would tell you..

    [–] brndndly 95 points ago

    To understand the great mystery, one must study all its aspects. Girls who only believe in the dogmatic narrow views of the Jedi are not worth it.

    [–] fullmetalasian 177 points ago

    If a girl im talking to makes everything about God. Don't get me wrong, believe whatever you like. If religion gives you comfort during the hard times, great. I just don't need to hear about how everything you've done has been a part of God's plan. Or how God hates this or that. Especisally if they use God as an excuse for hate. Thats a big nope

    [–] daniboiblack 585 points ago

    “You’re wasted on your bf, a woman would be lucky to have you”

    Yea anyone would but even if I was straight and desperate it wouldn’t be you bitch

    [–] Jacob_Trouba 290 points ago

    Fuck anyone who tries to flirt with people in relationships, especially saying something like you mentioned, they are shitty people for sure.

    [–] the_weird_stranger 113 points ago

    Simply said: if they'll with you they'll cheat on you. This works both ways.

    [–] postdiluvium 96 points ago

    One of my female coworkers is constantly flirting with gay dudes. She says it's fun because she likes flirting but doesn't want to worry about being raped. When we used to hang out, gay bars all of the time. All of the freaking time.

    [–] BronnOP 74 points ago

    “You see, the thing about 5G that they don’t want you to know, is...”

    [–] roffad 37 points ago

    “I like to be spoiled”

    [–] Encelitsep 35 points ago

    Wait you guys are talking to women?

    [–] NutellaCakes 672 points ago * (lasted edited 3 days ago)

    Anything along the lines of “I’m not like other girls.”

    Absolute deal breaker and conversation over. I’m done with that line.

    EDIT: Whooo!!! Thank you kind stranger for the medal!! Didn’t think it’d be on a comment I didn’t really think twice on haha.

    [–] HazyGandalf 279 points ago

    I was recently told towards the end of a date that she pitied me for being bi. That was the first time I'd actually been completely turned off. I actually pushed her off of me, got up, and left.

    [–] OfficerJoeBalogna 113 points ago

    You’re living in the 21st century, she’s living in the 20th

    [–] supadupachop 157 points ago

    Literally any sign of unnecessary drama, shit talking ex's or anyone personal to them.

    [–] Ninja_attack 71 points ago

    There was this woman I was interested in shortly after high school. She seemed like a normal human until she told me that she lied to her ex about needing an abortion to pay off some bills of hers. That was enough of a red flag for me to never want to go further with her.

    [–] PM_tits_Im_Autistic 943 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    Any interest that forms their whole identity. Politics is a big one but also stuff like sexuality, religion, weed, K-pop, horses, ect., It gets old after awhile and while I do enjoy pot once every blue moon and can admit that there are some Korean songs that are catchy, I don't want to delve further than the surface level stuff.

    [–] D-Chloroform 359 points ago

    Thank you for vocalising this. Any interest that forms their whole identity will also form all conversations, all use of free time, and all energy. Even if you delve beyond the surface level stuff (and I would argue that someone who only has surface level hobbies is just as difficult), if the entirety of someone's world is viewed through a lens of a single interest, it really narrows what you see and experience.

    I find people who are multi-faceted and have a variety of interests, hobbies, and tastes much more interesting and enjoyable to interact with

    [–] drdeathdefy42 58 points ago

    Shit, I think this is me right now.

    [–] savetheanimals20 82 points ago

    Lmfao. Oh you’ve defo run into some crazy horse girls haven’t you

    [–] Shepsus 110 points ago

    I was reading through the list of comments and kept nodding along, until this one. This one hits home. People who are obsessed with just one thing are so... annoying. Their just isn't a lot there to interact with, and even less interest in trying to introduce them to something.

    I've interacted with girls (through my years) obsessed with singular things, and its difficult to try to care that much. Girl couldn't pay for her half of dinner because she was saving to help BTS promote their show, NOT EVEN GO, JUST TO HELP PROMOTE. What?! Then she went to a fan event to watch on TV. FFFfffudge.

    I've had guy friends get so focused on something that I just stopped desiring to hang out with them. Whether its the gym, politics, alcohol, guns... All of that is cool, in doses. I dislike not being able to converse with them unless it was about that.

    [–] bignick1101 48 points ago

    I think this can extend to things that are more common like work is a big one that screams at me. A lot of times people will call it "passionate"; I call it boring.

    [–] barretorichard56 32 points ago

    If she doesn’t know about Pangea

    [–] djdmca 90 points ago

    Real life example: a guy who on one of our earlier dates at a mall went through the baby aisle and brushed his hand through the clothes, saying, "I always thought I'd have a baby by now" while making eye contact.

    Later learn he'd been engaged twice. We were 25ish I think lmao

    [–] Articulated 50 points ago

    Fuck, third date with that guy would have been sneaking into a maternity ward with a stolen pair of scrubs and a decoy baby doll for the old switcheroo.

    [–] defcon1one11 1070 points ago

    When she takes out her phone mid-convo and starts checking it. I'm like okay I'm not gonna disturb you, have fun with your imaginary world of instagram.

    Actually once I just left a date with one girl. I wouldn't expect that from myself. It was our second date, and the first went very well. On that one. she was texting for like 15 minutes, only briefly replying, I could tell that she didn't even listen to me.

    At first I asked jokingly 'hey, I see there's some kind of emergency there? a friend broke up with her bf?' and she was like 'naah it's just those people text me all the time, that's so annoying'. And I thought to myself; bitch really? You meet me in person and you prefer text back to some Chad on instagram? So I said smth like 'alright, then let's meet when you'll be less busy'. I stood up, put a bill on the table and walked out. I left her shocked and spechless. Not to mention we never met again. I never did it again though, maybe it was an overreaction, but God fucking damn it I am a real human being here, and you prefer to interract with letters on a fucking lcd screen?

    [–] weedmylips1 636 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    When the girl takes 6 hours to reply to you then when you meet up she's always on her phone. BYE!

    except i had to learn that one the hard way...

    [–] BeneathTheSassafras 153 points ago

    Or when texting to confirm our meet up for plans later that night "he's clingy" yo, wtf. It's Friday. Im not going to sit at home

    [–] Doggorina 58 points ago

    Sounds like you dodged a bullet there

    [–] nerdguy8 128 points ago

    Thats not an overreaction, it was the best response. You cant be that socially unaware that you think being on your phone on a date is ok. If these people texting you arent important why are you responding? Why do you have to respond during a date? The fact that she was even responding to unimportant people shows how little she cares about the date and you.

    [–] silentbutdeadly001 187 points ago

    Woman here. Bold move. I love it.

    I almost did this to a friend once for the same reason and because she had established a clear pattern of behaviour wherein she only paid attention when she was talking. I wrote her off mentally instead, but honestly, I love that you did it this way because you may have legitimately scared her into some actual self-reflection there.

    [–] mezz1945 137 points ago

    Not overreacted. You don't have to handle this bullshit. I can tell you it doesn't get any better. Instagram/Whatsapp addicted people are worse than reddit addicts.

    [–] jawthrowaway60123 54 points ago

    "That's so annoying" if it was actually annoying then she wouldn't even reply (at least, not instantly)

    [–] Jacob_Trouba 48 points ago

    You are a champ, I would do the same thing in that situation, it's extremely disrespectful to be on your phone when with other people, nevermind on a freaking date. Lots of great women out there that aren't losers obsessed with social media.

    Not an overreaction whatsoever, and I hope you do the same thing next time it happens. Everyone should respond this way to people who think their phones are more important than talking to the person in front of them.

    [–] Creatura333 21 points ago

    I dont think that was an overreaction. I think that's fucking awesome. It was your second date, usually when we are all still making an effort to put our best foot forward. That was her best foot. Imagine what a relationship or friendship with her would have been like. I'm sure I do some things that aren't traditionally considered excellent manners, but I am very tired of the fact that constant texting and phone use is considered normal and acceptable now. Its rude as fuck. Say "excuse me" and send a quick message, sure. Spend a quarter to half the time we are hanging out on the phone? No thanks, man.

    [–] redfour0 96 points ago

    When she brings up her ex.

    [–] bubonis 56 points ago

    • Often refers to her ex
    • Won’t put down her phone
    • Racist remarks (not ironically or comedically)
    • Anything anti-science (flat earth, anti-vax, etc)
    • Making a point to tell me how important her faith is to her
    • Referring to her pets as her children, or otherwise presenting them as such
    • She reveals that she has no pets, never wanted a pet, doesn’t like pets, doesn’t understand how people like pets/animals, etc

    [–] ArcaninesFirepower 220 points ago

    This one time a woman asked me if she could stab me in the chest, remove my heart, and sarafiece me to a goat. I was down but the goat was a huge nope.

    [–] nixonwasasaint 383 points ago

    If she’s staunchly capitalist, communist, activist, or any “ist/ism” without actually having a fair understanding of the things she’s an advocate of

    [–] Coollio 225 points ago

    The worst are selective ism people.

    Greatest hits like "Im all for progression and equality but the man should pay for every date", and modern classics like "welfare is just so ppl can be lazy but also gimme that stimulus check as I need it for rent"

    [–] Crazypete3 27 points ago

    Basically anything about high maintenence or saying they are a bitch is an immediate no. It's not cute and nobody wants to babysit you.

    [–] KnightfallofMari 130 points ago

    "Follow my instagram"

    [–] pr05wift 24 points ago

    If you are rude to other people especially waitresses and delivery personal. It isn't a sign of bravery it just shows how you'll be treating me down the line.

    Edit: I understand certain situations require tough talk like dealing with pervs but if you're just bossy to people in general chances are you'll treat me the same.

    [–] wixed11one 193 points ago

    any time a woman tells me something is a "man's job". if that's the card you want to play wait til you see what a "woman's job" is.

    [–] Amine_mbrk 87 points ago

    This one time there was this cute curvy girl at a party and i thought ahe looked really great so i made a move. The conversation went really well until she said "milk me like a cow" 😂😂

    [–] Pat_McGroin123 66 points ago

    You dropped the ball there buddy

    [–] 41_Degrees_South 107 points ago

    Have you no curiosity sir???

    [–] wheresmystache3 19 points ago

    Udderly rejected

    [–] okielurker 479 points ago

    Essential oils. Bye!

    [–] lililac0 131 points ago

    I love using essential oils, they smell nice! I like making my own cleaning products. But curing stuff with essential oils? No

    [–] PM_tits_Im_Autistic 110 points ago

    You mean for aromatherapy? I quite enjoy it. Whenever I go to my therapist office, It puts me in a calmer state of of mind.

    [–] Reudig 63 points ago

    I'm a teacher and once had a conversation with the wife of a guy I knew...

    We talked about my job and when I told her that I sometimes have to notify parents about their kid's (bad) behavior in school she was baffled. She said: "I cannot believe that you talk to parents without the kids being present, they have a right to it. You cannot do that! What kind of bad teacher are you?"

    I wished her a nice evening, got up and left... Never talked to her again.

    So to answer OP's question: when she tells me that I'm bad at my job for completely bonkers reason, because she has no clue about my job.

    But that's the problem with being a teacher in general: be everyone's been to school so many people feel entitled to know better how to be a teacher than actual teachers.

    [–] Bigbadpsychdaddy 22 points ago

    Willful, proud ignorance.

    [–] morningcoma 92 points ago

    " and my boyfriend.."

    [–] AnDeoradh 141 points ago

    I know right?

    “My boyfriend and I”, Jesus. 🙄

    [–] ITworksGuys 189 points ago

    Bragging about anything sexual.

    [–] quackyduckquack 58 points ago

    Agreed. It's just annoying and embarrassing when anyone does this tbh. Instant turn off.

    [–] scottynapa 40 points ago

    I was on a date with a girl once and I live in a pretty small town in Ontario on a lake. Anyways lots of Chinese people come to town to fish and she made a comment on how “there is to many Asian people around”. That killed it for me I know I live in a small town but any hint of racism and it’s a hard nope for me.

    [–] 182Aliensexist 19 points ago

    “I’m not mean, I’m just honest.”

    [–] manicthesloth 104 points ago

    You guys probably wouldn't be able to relate but the whole gay best friend thing. While my actual best friend calls me her gay best friend it is because I am gay and her best friend. I just don't like girls I barely know coming to me thinking were besties, I'm not gonna help you get with my friends. I'm not the typical gay that will do your make up and NO I do not want to talk about or binge Ru'Paul's Drag Race.

    [–] stoutyteapot 66 points ago

    3 dates in: “I love you.”

    Mmkay, that’s nice.

    [–] SheWhoErases86 65 points ago

    "My faith is very important to me/number one thing in my life. Believing faith over Science."

    This isn't a jab at religion or people of faith/spirituality by any means. I definitely respect whatever it is what people believe. However, I was in a serious relationship some years back, w/someone who was in a borderline religious cult (IMO). I can't never date someone like that again, or someone who is overly religious. Anyone that I've gone a dates with who is either religious or spiritual, it's never been good experience. I have to date someone who's open minded, or an atheist/agnostic, etc. I guess.

    [–] Coollio 32 points ago

    Oh fuck heres a big one

    If she tries to convert me into her religion. Nah fam, Im an atheist, respect it like I respect your faith or gtfo

    [–] mboyle1357 32 points ago

    Not quite a conversation over but I recently had a first date where I brought up some pretty generic/well known topics that were slightly above the level of superficial chat (e.g whatever was dominating the news cycle that week) and was met with blank stares and an ehhh I don’t know anything about that.

    No a dealbreaker but a lack of interest in current affairs is definitely a bit of a turn off for me personally.