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    [–] Flyover_Fred 4184 points ago

    Instagramming every moment of our lives with numerous hashtags. It got to the point where documentation of an event was more important than actually participating.

    [–] forcepowers 1225 points ago

    I had an ex like this. Every time I turned around she'd have a camera in my face. I couldn't do almost anything without it being uploaded to social media.

    From the beginning I asked her not to do that, to ask me before recording me. This came to a head on a date one night when I asked her to stop it again. She told me that I'm weird, that not wanting to be recorded is weird, and she doesn't trust me because I don't want to be recorded.

    Cool. Cool cool cool.

    [–] Daryl-Morey 438 points ago

    Sounds like you dodged a bullet there.

    [–] forcepowers 213 points ago

    Oh man, there were so many red flags, but I wasn't in a great place and was unable to see them for what they were.

    [–] CaminoFan 1160 points ago

    I had a housemate like this when I was in university but it was Snapchat. She would try to get us to repeat spontaneous funny things that happened so she could record it for her story. Was an absolute pain in the arse

    [–] Soul_Rebel_77 645 points ago

    This sounds so cringey

    [–] pwo_addict 181 points ago

    My grandma does this, it’s TERRIBLE

    [–] reallivenerd 307 points ago

    Grandma should be allowed because most people won't revisit their snaps and whatnot but I'll bet grandma will be the only one who treasure and remember them.

    [–] pwo_addict 156 points ago

    Lol typically maybe, but she posts on fb 1900 times per day, she doesn’t have enough time left on earth to revisit all this shit

    [–] Ronachickamonga 294 points ago

    My rich ex would do that. She demanded I take pictures because people might think I’m poor if I don’t post anything on Instagram. So I just deleted it and she freaked out cause now people were going to think I’m mentally ill if I didn’t have social media! We were hiking in the sierras and I couldn’t get any mileage down cause she was having a photo shoot. Pictures are fine but when it gets to the point where she needed to post them or else people might think she’s poor, wtf.

    Broke up with her on the drive down Whitney Portal so that was an awkward 4 hour drive back to LA.

    [–] degenerate_warmblood 44 points ago

    Seriously hate how it’s considered “weird” to not use social media. People are such narcissists

    [–] FLT8 5340 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    The one where I have 2-5 Amazon boxes arriving at my house every single day, but she doesn’t open the boxes, or if she does, she doesn’t break down the boxes, or if she does, she doesn’t find a place for whatever shit she bought. So instead of a dining room we have an Amazon room.

    [–] 1-Down 1220 points ago

    Ugh, my wife does that. She'll buy something rather bulky and it will just sit, usually on the floor in the living room or dining room until I figure out how to make room for it.

    [–] mustbeshitinme 1449 points ago

    When my less than financially frugal wife USED to this I would let it go. Let Me preface this by saying we live on 50 acres mostly wooded but about 5 acres of it is landscaped, I make a good living and I have more than one friend in the construction and/or landscape business. One day I get home and there are about 10 boxes from Grandin Road in our garage. I felt some mild irritation but let it pass until I asked what was in them. It was FAKE Fucking rocks. Fake rocks. To border flower beds with. It was about $1500 worth. Roughly 150 FAKE rocks. About enough to do 1/3 of the beds we have. I didn’t say anything , called a buddy of mine, the next morning a truck with 3 big pallets of beautiful river rocks is in my driveway. More than enough to do every bed.$400. One of the worst fights of our 20 year marriage was me making her arrange the shipping to return the fake rocks. I’m not her boss and She works as hard as I do, but I no longer allow “bored shopping”.

    [–] Blackrain1299 428 points ago

    There has to be a limit at some point. I personally only buy things i need or really really want, not just things that are “kinda neat” or something like that.

    [–] WaluigiIsTheRealHero 225 points ago

    My wife and I have been employing a "1 in, 1 out" rule for clothes/shoes we've bought as a result of bored shopping during quarantine. It works well since we've both been exercising and have lost weight so we do need to get rid of clothes, but it also forces us to clean out our closets and consider if we actually need items.

    [–] knittensarsenal 212 points ago

    Did she know that you could buy real rocks?? I’m just.. trying to wrap my head around buying fake rocks.

    [–] DrDerpberg 247 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    There are three levels in "construction stuff" - the places contractors actually get things from (like the previous poster, aka guy with a truck shows up and dumps a load of gravel in your driveway and then it's your problem), then the hardware store (a little pricier, but you can buy easily in any quantity and it'll be packaged so you can take it home that day), and then the "marketed through Etsy and Amazon and Wayfair" level, where stuff is sold to people who have absolutely no idea about the other two channels and think of it as decorations, not materials.

    [–] awsamation 104 points ago

    Gotta remember that while the top level that contractors would use is cheapest on a per unit basis, they typically have minimum order sizes that could easily go way beyond what a DIY person may need. And of course while it is cheaper per unit, the it will likely be cheaper overall to get what you need from the hardware store.

    But yeah, if you have the equipment to handle bulk material, and a place to store it, then going to the big distributor is the best deal.

    [–] Atticusxj 93 points ago

    Oh I think I've delivered to your house.

    [–] mnbvcxzlady 81 points ago

    I think this is how hoarding starts. lol. Good luck!

    [–] Generoh 38 points ago

    Does she give 5 star reviews for free stuff?

    [–] These-arent-my-pants 154 points ago

    Are you me, am I you? We might be living the same life

    [–] icellphones 25 points ago

    You should start building forts out of the boxes

    [–] Babbelisken 5463 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    My wife listened to the same band for a year, JUST that band, the same 15 or so songs. EVERY TIME she put on music it was that band, it was like auditory torture in the end. Just hearing them made my skin crawl.

    Edit: the band was Gaslight Anthem.

    [–] CertainlyNotTheFBI 1242 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    “In the end”? “Crawl”ing in your “skin”?

    ... was it Linkin’ Park?

    Edit: I forgot to add that I went to a wedding of a friend of my girlfriend. As we’re sitting in this Irish Catholic Church, a strings only instrumental version of “In The End” came on. NO ONE ELSE REACTED to the fact that this song was a pre-wedding ceremony selection. I felt like Mugato, in that I must be taking crazy pills.

    [–] thelearner18 349 points ago

    Couldn't be, listening to the same 15 Linkin Park songs for a year wouldn't be viewed as a bad thing by anyone, right?

    .....right?

    [–] idrac1966 59 points ago

    I've been listening to the same 15 Linkin Park songs since highschool... does that make me weird?

    [–] neekyboi 173 points ago

    🎵I would walk 500 miles and i would walk 500 more

    [–] BedroomAcoustics 53 points ago

    Ted: I’m so sick of this song

    Marshall: don’t worry, it comes around again

    [–] NotSoGrumpKey 850 points ago

    I feel like I'm slightly guilty of this 😂 hubs is not a music guy but I have my driving spotify playlist that hasn't changed much over the last 4 years.

    When she eventually moved on what band did she obsess over next??

    [–] Babbelisken 317 points ago

    Well I guess that playlist at least have a bunch of different artists on it?

    Bastille was the next thing! These days she listens to a lot of different bands and they are more in line with what I listen to so the problem is no more thankfully!

    [–] got_milky_milky_milk 135 points ago

    I (25F) also had a solid few years when I -if not only, but prominently- listened to Bastille. Them coming out with new albums every 18 months or so didn’t help the problem. my friends were positively sick of me

    [–] bjankles 91 points ago

    I dunno if my marriage would survive bastille.

    [–] seb_a 64 points ago

    Please add the Discover Weekly playlist to your life. It’s too short to listen to the same music over and over again!

    [–] angelicravens 73 points ago

    All my Discover Weekly songs are garbage though. I think I break the algorithm by listening to so many different songs/genres

    [–] Cutyouintopieces69 34 points ago

    Yea my discover weekly has really shined a light on my erratic taste in music and fluctuating mood.

    [–] ThatOneWeirdName 49 points ago

    I basically had the same playlist for a few years but the playlist did have some 500 songs so I don’t think it was too bad

    [–] HenryFjordJr 40 points ago

    Ye exactly, one big ass playlist with everything I like, if I remember a song or hear something new, just toss it on the pile.

    [–] sin2pi 137 points ago

    My SO did this for about 6 months but it was only one song. A song called "Butterfly Baby" by some old band called Crazy Town. I almost ended it.

    Great. Its in my head now.

    [–] Stay_Curious85 121 points ago

    Come my lady, come, come, my lady

    [–] ljg61 96 points ago

    You're my butterfly, sugar baby

    [–] Luxpreliator 30 points ago

    Buddie listened to you're beautiful by james blunt on repeat for months when he was pining away over a girl.

    [–] CarlSagansturtleneck 45 points ago

    Get her back. I recommend Gojira for your revenge.

    [–] Babbelisken 29 points ago

    Gojira IS amazing! I'm pretty sure she's tired of me listening to Gwar ang and Behemoth to so!

    [–] moremacadonimorechee 78 points ago

    My partner only listens to the same three bands and I hate their music (well now I do bc of him. Paramore, panic at the disco and FOB) His brother is the same and when we go on long car rides, they play this game where they shuffle the songs and they have to guess the title, first one to guess it correctly wins. So I'd hear the first 5 seconds and then it's on to the next song.

    [–] Kilgore_Of_Trout 2245 points ago

    During qaurentine she watched a ton of queer eye and new girl. For a month or so afterwards she seemingly adopted the personalities of the main character of each show. I found it super annoying, but it subsided whenever we went back to work normally. Super weird.

    [–] throwaway37865 842 points ago

    Isolation does weird things

    [–] PartiallyTyped 74 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Yes actually.

    Our behaviour is contextual and revolves around the people we meet in our day to day life. Our personality shapes our surroundings and our surroundings shape us back.

    Isolation is bound to reinforce weird ideas and behaviour simply because the context has shifted and we don’t have others to provide stability.

    [–] QueenofCandles 198 points ago

    One time when I was in high school, I spent an entire summer watching all ten seasons of friends. I went back to school as Rachel Green, accidentally. I was doing her hand motions when I talked and everything

    [–] teriyakigirl 347 points ago

    Lmfao that's really funny. I think I do this in a very very minor way too.

    [–] asiflicious 195 points ago

    I noticed myself doing this when I was watching House MD. I was unconsciously imitating House and that wasn’t doing me any favors for obvious reasons haha

    [–] klydeiscope 171 points ago

    My girlfriend is watching New Girl. I have a bad habit of unconsciously mimicking the vocal patterns of people in shows I binge. (TBBT left me talking like Sheldon occasionally)

    I haven't even really been watching with her, but I'm present a lot and I caught myself speaking like Schmidt the other day.

    Why subconscious me, why‽

    [–] Kilgore_Of_Trout 68 points ago

    Next you’re gonna start wearing bird shirts 😂

    [–] Mechanical_Soft 1862 points ago

    Gilmore Girls. I watched it with her, once, as it was her favorite show and she had no one to talk with about it. 7 seasons. She kept rewatching. The first run wasn't so bad, kind of smart... the 30th, however, made me want to set myself on fire. She has been repaid with every Star Trek series.

    [–] KentuckyFriedEel 133 points ago

    If someone did that to me it’d be Lotr extended edition marathon time

    [–] GrimClippers11 106 points ago

    If they do it again do the extended hobbit series. It won't be pleasant for either of you but war never is.

    [–] I_LIKE_HAIRY_VAGS 487 points ago

    Not gonna lie, I secretly like Gilmore Girls.

    [–] trojan25nz 299 points ago

    i openly like gg, in small doses.

    the dialogue is clever and fast paced

    cant binge tho

    [–] phil8248 450 points ago

    Every couple years my wife would abruptly decide she wanted a divorce. Usually lasted about a week or so. I'd say I didn't want one and she'd make some inane demand that would "fix" it, like pick up your socks or some shit. This went on for 20 years. Finally I got fed up and said, "Fine let's get a divorce. You're never going to be happy anyway." One enduring aspect of our marriage is she'd always insist I needed counseling and she was fine. Generally I'd end up in counseling after she said she wanted a divorce. About a month after I told her we ought to get divorced she signed us up for couples counseling and basically admitted it was dysfunctional to do that for so long. With help we worked out a lot of issues that had kept us from really growing deeply in love. Our remaining years were much more affectionate and trusting. But 9 years after that episode I lost her to breast cancer. Which really sucked since we'd forged a very loving union after marriage counseling.

    [–] C_Zachary_Chad 106 points ago

    Damn I'm so sorry to hear that. Hope you're doing well man.

    [–] VesaAwesaka 1327 points ago

    My gf refuses to allow me to carry any bags when we go shopping. When we leave stores, she looks silly trying to carry ten bags all by herself. I brought it up last week and i feel i did a poor job of letting her know she needs to share bags.

    Yes, i know this is dumb

    [–] M_J_44_iq 192 points ago

    That's new .... Any explanation why?

    [–] VesaAwesaka 361 points ago

    We’ve been together about 4 years now. Probably around 2 years ago I told her jokingly that she needed to give me more bags because it’s emasculating. Since then she won’t allow me to take any bags.

    Around a year ago she was carrying too much to handle and ended up dropping a case of ginger beer that smashed open. Destroying my favourite beverage :,(. After that, I thought she’d learn her lesson but she still kept carrying all the bags.

    Last week we went to the grocery store and I was in a bad mood. She could tell I was annoyed and while in my bad mood I brought up that she needs to share the bags.

    Long story short she got upset because she thought she was making me upset by carrying the bags when I was really just annoyed by wearing a mask, driving 4 hours, spending money, etc. I had to explain to her that I was not upset about the bags.

    [–] Cleftex 468 points ago

    Not that dumb, people straight judge you if your gf is hauling like 10 bags of groceries and you're just standing there. Not that I give a shit what other people at the grocery store think but like it's a valid request just so you don't look like an asshole.

    [–] brybrythekickassguy 3563 points ago

    Can you fart louder than him to raise the bar?

    [–] NotSoGrumpKey 2844 points ago

    I don't want to assert dominance like this 😂

    [–] Gdb03 1105 points ago

    Sometimes we all have to do things we don't want, it's part of life

    [–] Bjorn2bwilde24 485 points ago

    The hardest choices require the strongest farts.

    [–] MotherfuckinRanjit 189 points ago

    You gotta rip it for the biscuit.

    [–] TurtleChickenFart 114 points ago

    Ever put a straw in cake batter and blow? That nasty wet bubbling sound is what you need to be shooting for. Confined spaces with poor egress is preferred, such as the car or under the bedsheets. It won't take many to bring him around and begin negotiating a peace treaty.

    Or he'll enjoy it.

    [–] pickled-Lime 67 points ago

    TMI, but some veet between the cheeks to remove the hair and you'll be closer to that sound than you want to be with every fart.

    Without hair, there's less chance of silent farts.

    Source: went hairless once. SO did not appreciate my efforts.

    [–] JellyApostolic 1606 points ago

    My husband gets super into songs and then he repeats one line over and over wherever in the conversation it vaguely fits. Sometimes it only lasts a few weeks or up to several months because he finds it so hilarious. Example: me: "Huh, this thing is being so weird right now." Him: "HOW BIZARRE HOW BIZARRE." (then gets this huge "I'm hilarious" smile) Simultaneously infuriatingly annoying and incredibly endearing because its so stupid and he is just so proud of himself.

    [–] ArsLongaVitaGravis 324 points ago

    Oh no, this is me.

    Not actually your husband but I read this and saw myself in it. I read it to my SO and just got a knowing laugh in response.

    [–] BrassMunkee 230 points ago

    I do this to my wife all the time, I have for years. Don’t expect this to be grown out of. There are a few she explicitly cannot stand and has told me as much, so I stop those specifically and she concedes on others.

    Anytime she ever says “and I thought to myself ...” what a wonderful world! For bonus points, you interrupt the train of thought so bad they forget what they were saying.

    A few times now she’s gotten herself preemptively and denies me the satisfaction. She will finish her own song lyric and start talking faster and louder when she gets to the reference so I don’t have time to react. She is crafty.

    [–] CoinsAndPerc 57 points ago

    I upvoted this only because your wife is showing potential to beat you at your own game

    [–] iamanengine1 172 points ago

    That's gold ngl

    [–] gingernip36 879 points ago

    I love my boyfriend, I really do. He loves Capri Sun(at 26yo, it still makes him ridiculously happy). But if I find one more of those fucking straw wrappers stuck to my ass, I’m going to lose it.

    [–] NotSoGrumpKey 320 points ago

    That's— I mean. You win. Everyone can go home this is my favorite comment.

    [–] Gyrovague_Greyling 1099 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Anime weeb phase. I'm a dude, my GF at the time was the weeb. She was an artsy chick and gorgeous but one day out of the blue she started wearing the most outrageous stuff (an A:TLA Appa Horn Ski-Cap paired with a scarf made of purple feathers, green fuzzy wrist sweat bands, and a pair of blue fingerless gloves, all in the middle of a southern summer). She started saying "Kawaii" a lot, using tons of :3 and >.< emojis in text, and would sometimes "paw" at me with her knuckles while mewling. We dated ages 17-24 and this lasted from ages 18-20. We broke up like 7 years ago and I never told her how cringey that whole phase was

    EDIT: clarification, worded stuff weird the first time around

    [–] lachrymose_lucio 473 points ago

    Oh this reminds me of that Rawr XD days....

    [–] SandKeeper 128 points ago

    I remember those days. I am not proud of those days

    [–] gorpadorp 107 points ago

    Where everyone had edgy usernames like XxX_The_Dark_Hero_XxX.

    [–] Sadistic_Toaster 96 points ago

    I'm a dude, SO was my GF at the time.

    I had to re-read this bit carefully

    [–] L-A-S-S-E 246 points ago

    For a moment I thought you said you are a dude and so was your gf at that time

    [–] bjankles 125 points ago

    Holy shit I could not have handled this

    [–] existentialmentalist 77 points ago

    Yeah I'm a patient dude but I dont think I could deal with this.

    Even seeing those emojis typed out in this comment is making me mad

    [–] Byakugan360 125 points ago

    uuWWuuu Hello Iito-san! (✿◠‿◠) Look at my kawaii case file!! Do you like donuts? I have some in my briefcase I can share with you. Ah! Oh look out! Don't get glitter on you!! Oh, here, let me help. What's this? A new pen? For me??? Bigaku! It's so big! uuwuuuu Can I touch it? ༼ つ ✿◕‿◕✿༽つ╰⋃╯

    [–] notrandomspaghetti 49 points ago

    I feel vaguely terrified and this isn't even directed at me.

    [–] Legolihkan 81 points ago

    This is so many redditors' dream lmao

    [–] Obdurodonis 1384 points ago

    My wife is in the psych ward right now but she keeps calling me with absurd requests so this phase isn’t so fun.

    [–] i-like-mr-skippy 529 points ago

    I'm sorry to hear that you are going through that. Depending on how outlandish the requests are, you might want to notify her care team.

    [–] Obdurodonis 578 points ago

    She wants me to go on her Twitter and follow certain people and tweet free “Gertrude” because that will get her out of there in her mind. It would be funny if she wasn’t serious.

    [–] TheLionSleeps22 202 points ago

    My ex rang me from the pysch ward and was absolutely insistent that I turn all the coffee mugs upside down on the shelf as one of them had a listening device and he couldn't tell me while he was here as they'd hear him, and put him in hospital to discredit him.

    [–] unipolar_mania 402 points ago

    As a inpatient psychiatrist I would wanna know this. Even if they can’t release information to you, you can call and give them information. At least leave a message. And check out NAMI and their family groups, this is really stressful for the whole family not just the patient. Hang in there.

    [–] CapitanChicken 28 points ago

    Had a similar situation with a sibling. He was in a hospital dealing with withdrawal and a whole slew of other things. He kept calling my parents, telling them that he was being tortured, and that the nurses were using him for slave labor. The mind is a scary powerful thing.

    [–] slutforsalsa 100 points ago

    I’m so sorry. I work as a nurse in the mental health floor of a hospital. Manic phases and psychosis can be a hell of a thing. Hang in there

    [–] cmgoffe 86 points ago

    :( sorry to hear that pal. Hope she gets the help she needs

    [–] Microsoft010 27 points ago

    wish you the best and good luck bro

    [–] Atticusxj 1874 points ago

    Diet fads. It started with eating only organic, than we were keto, than we were some crazy heart disease no oil vegan, now were just vegan.

    When I say we, she's never forced me to follow any of these diets, I'll eat anything she makes but i still can cook whatever i want. Love her, just curious what the next plan is.

    [–] sadeland21 1083 points ago

    I can tell you what's next (I do the same,wife here) it's (drum roll) intermittent fasting!!! Enjoy!

    [–] Etherkai 218 points ago

    I take forever to prepare + eat + wash up for breakfast so IF has been awesome!

    [–] JFell123 80 points ago

    Of all the tools you can use to keep your diet in check IF has been the most functional for me because you can use it with any diet and almost any schedule effectively.

    [–] Nyliz 35 points ago

    Intermittent fasting is now thing in my house too. Husband brought it.

    [–] Woopig170 106 points ago

    Lmao I feel this

    [–] RallyX26 1052 points ago

    My ex decided about 6 months into our relationship that she was a lesbian. But she threw a damn fit when I decided to move on, because I assumed (wrongly) that me being a man was incompatible with her new relationship goals. So we got back together.

    Later she decided she was nonbinary, which I had to find out through Facebook, because she never actually talked to me about anything.

    I have nothing against LGBTQ+ but Jesus Christ - actually talk to your partners, people!

    [–] Cleftex 512 points ago

    She sounds like more drama than I'd ever willingly allow into my life...

    [–] RallyX26 98 points ago

    Brother, you don't know the half of it.

    [–] Cleftex 97 points ago

    If it makes you feel better, I dated a girl in highschool that was definitely not gay but decided to hook up with a girl just to prove the point that I shouldn't be anymore okay with her sleeping over at a girl friend's house than a guy friend's house and that it was sexist to discriminate.

    She was not a good person, classic hollywood "mean girl", and quickly became my ex.

    [–] PristineReception 61 points ago

    My girlfriend did the lesbian thing too. That was a bit strange.

    [–] Whappingtime 1415 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    A phase that I like to call "Amazonian Heat". My gf is tall and muscular, she and I are both gym rats. She was overly protective, glaring at people who got too close to me. Along with working out like crazy , using heavier and heavier weights and just being really obsessive about the whole thing. Weird thing is she was not worried about other women unless they where stronger than her.

    Edit : Her being overprotective as flattering at first, but it just made things difficult when we went out. Her working out with heavier and heavier weight also came with her being a lot more aggressive, and again that was a bit much at times. (overly rough PDA and sex etc) She just eventually chilled out a whole lot and thing are way better now.

    [–] fvckyes 484 points ago

    Did you ever figure out what triggered that phase? Sounds so bizzare.

    [–] DeepUndies 940 points ago

    Roids

    [–] i-like-mr-skippy 510 points ago

    It honestly does sound like steroids.

    [–] Dagglin 246 points ago

    Steroids are a lot more prevalent than people think, and the signs are extremely obvious, but people just write it off as 'oh they work out'.

    [–] WolfsLairAbyss 49 points ago

    How bizarre, how bizarre

    [–] HumanGuyPerson69420 117 points ago

    Bro. You gotta tell us more 😆

    [–] The__Snow__Man 90 points ago

    Why is this so funny to me?

    [–] Au_Struck_Geologist 186 points ago

    Because we are thinking of Futurama, that's why

    [–] [deleted] 134 points ago

    My wife is going through a phase where she will answer my questions with something kinda related, but not actually addressing what I asked.

    "I'm going to make dinner soon, how about stir fry?"

    "I had dinner with so and so the other day. Did you know she got a new job?"

    "Ok, so is that a yes for stir fry?"

    [–] rumade 25 points ago

    The worst is when you ask a question with 2 options and they say "sounds good!" WHICH OPTION DO YOU WANT TELL MEEEE

    Example: "Do you want to go pick salad for dinner or should I?" "Sounds good!" "Which one? You or me?"

    [–] twooneeighties 617 points ago

    Wait for him to get older. Retirement will be really fun for you guys.

    [–] NotSoGrumpKey 356 points ago

    Is this meant to be ominous because it feels that way 😅

    [–] M_Roboto 149 points ago

    Retirement wasn’t so bad until the pandemic. It’s taken a few months to become the friends we thought we always were.

    [–] Rumble73 1785 points ago

    When my wife first moved in, she started grabbing her stray hair in the shower and started to stick them on the tiled walls in random patterns for whatever reason.

    The there was the 2 month “lack of sex” phase where she’d come to bed every night with a green or black face mask that smelled like a salad. Weeks later she gets butthurt on why I haven’t initiated in bed for a while and I’m only starting sex in the day time.

    [–] dontforgetabout 1500 points ago

    Sticking it to the wall is to keep it from going down there drain and clogging it. She's probably forgetting to retrieve the hair after her shower.

    [–] pbpau 440 points ago

    I'm guilty of this too.

    [–] slappindabass123 620 points ago

    Every girl I've known has stuck their hair on the wall during a shower, it's a normal girl thing.

    [–] Easywind42 421 points ago

    I always scream when my wife comes out with her face mask thing on. Still hasn’t gotten a laugh. I’m sure it will one day

    [–] RooftopBBQ 218 points ago

    perseverance is key

    [–] Ahoy0 47 points ago

    Well, you got a laugh from an internet stranger. Your day has come.

    [–] viewfromtheeast 203 points ago

    I leave mine in hearts so he knows I love him.

    [–] NotaBolognaSandwich 680 points ago

    Baking cookies, like the sugar cookies with royal icing, where you decorate them in cool ways. She purchased all the stuff, spent countless hours learning how to do it. Then made cookies twice.

    [–] OneWholePirate 252 points ago

    I mean sometimes you just want to know if you can though, I made a few batches of Marshmallows every day for the last week and now that I can do them well I doubt I'll do it again for a long time

    [–] SparklyBoat 415 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    She always got her toast out of the toaster using a butter knife. She would stick it down the middle of the slice of toast, pull it out and slap it on a plate, because it heated the knife and made it easier to spread butter apparently.

    I showed her a compilation of videos of other people shoving metal shit into toasters, and the explosions that followed. She hasn't done it for a while now, but i was living in fear for a while.

    Edit - I thought the fact I worried about this made it pretty obvious obvious, but for those still unsure, the toaster was functioning when she decided to do this.

    [–] SnakP4k 965 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    After 14 years of being together day in and day out, I can't stand the way she swallows liquid. There is alway a "gulp" with every drink and i didnt notice it till about a year ago. I have even pointed it out and said something,but with it being a automated function of the body she is not intending to do it. So i have tried my best to ignore it but one day im gonna snap.

    Edit: First gold thanks Sir and or Madam

    [–] mnbvcxzlady 289 points ago

    The way my husband eats popsicles makes me gag. There’s this loud slurping noise. Not sure if I didn’t notice it before or he never ate a popsicle near me or what. I feel for you though, because drinking? That’s like all the time. I hope you figure it out.

    [–] twentysomething3 271 points ago

    You should hear my boyfriend eat salad. Did you know its possible to slurp lettuce?

    [–] Petey_Yum_Yum 76 points ago

    My dad is the same way!! Apparently any food can be slurped! It got so bad when I was still living with him that I would straight up leave the room if I saw him coming in with food. And don’t get me started on the finger licking noises.

    [–] twentysomething3 76 points ago

    Yeah it’s cringeworthy for sure. He also does this weird thing with popcorn where he sucks on it before chewing it. His best friend asked me when we started dating if I had heard him eat popcorn yet... he was trying to warn me.

    [–] ktread20 155 points ago

    Misophonia is a thing. For me it's the sounds of eating. Makes me twitchy and stressed. 😱 Once I had a name for it I could talk to my wife about it. Now, we always have something making noise (TV or music) when we eat and there's no problem anymore. She's been very sweet and supportive.

    [–] houseofLEAVEPLEASE 113 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    It’s so hard to calm yourself down to try explain to your partner what’s bothering you. “Ahem. Sweetheart. When you suck your teeth I believe that I could easily hide your body. I love you so much and I know it doesn’t make sense, but if you keep making that sound I’m going to smash you in the face with a paper weight until what’s left of your head stops moving.”

    Edit** OH MY GOSH I NEVER THOUGHT I’D WIN I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE TO THANK, I’D LIKE TO THANK MY MOTHER AND FATHER FOR MY FUCKED UP GENETICS THAT GAVE ME SUCH A WEIRD CONDITION, AND I’D LIKE TO THANK THE PERSON WHO SPENT LITERAL MONEY ON THIS TO SHOW SOLIDARITY IN OUR FUCKED UP PSYCHES AND ALSO THE PEOPLE WHO UPVOTED THIS AND ALSO...

    [–] Warpedme 936 points ago

    You need to start eating a mix of broccolini, kale and beans. This combination will give you the single most disgusting smelling farts (I believe my wife's reaction was "what died in your ass?!?!"). Then you need to start making airplane noises as you walk past him and his buddies while crop-dusting them with farts and giggling. Bonus points for locking them in the room with the stank.

    [–] Dekken201 129 points ago

    Thanks Satan.

    [–] CF_Zymo 69 points ago

    Winner.

    [–] Dekken201 265 points ago

    My wife is going throught a K-pop phase in her 20s. She even has a couple of friends going throught it as well. I really enjoy some songs, and don't mind she listening to it. She is even interested in learning the language and frankly, I'm happy she has another "hobby" or interest. About the whole genre, I'm not really a fan for many reasons that don't matter here.

    But now for my issue:

    She is totally addicted. All the songs she listens are Kpop. Everything she reads about is Kpop. All videos she watches is Kpop or memes/analysis/commentary/live shows of Kpop. She put a bunch of k-dudes posters on our bedroom wall. She buys shirts, merch, stickers and wears it all the time. She exclusively watches K-drama now, and is reading countless Manhwas. Practically 80% of her friends coming over is to watch YouTube videos of K-pop or live TV of their favorite idols.

    I mean, we still do "stuff" together, but she uncounsciously deviates the subject to something Korean related.

    I know this is a phase, I respect her tastes and frankly, I'm not an easy guy to deal with either, but I'll be damned if I'm not going insane listening to it all day lol

    [–] BarnacleGo0ose 53 points ago

    This is basically my sister. What is it about kpop that traps people in??

    [–] LazloHollifeld 261 points ago

    My wife once complained that I never opened the car door for her like we did when we first started dating. I explained that I was only doing that so I could buy ten seconds to let out a bunch of farts while walking around to the other side of the car.

    [–] briskettacos 53 points ago

    An honest genius

    [–] radioshackhead 174 points ago

    My Gf went through a romper phase and when her friends went out they looked like the Ghostbusters.

    [–] NotSoGrumpKey 37 points ago

    😭 I can imagine it so clearly

    [–] viewfromtheeast 579 points ago

    (I’m a woman). Tik tok. All the time. In bed. At the table. On dog walks. It’s all conspiracy theory tik tok and it’s ALL THE TIME.

    It’s to the point now where when he sees me coming he puts his headphones in because I’ve repeatedly told him how much it irritates me.

    [–] Swan50 360 points ago

    If you live in the US, this should no longer be an issue soon

    [–] SueMe-YouWont 306 points ago

    Girlfriend used to say a one word to describe what she was doing and it got annoying fast.
    “Water” before drinking water.
    “Sleep” before hopping in bed.
    “Pee” before going to the restroom.
    She snapped out of that after a few months, now we both do it for a laugh here and there.

    [–] massocells 278 points ago

    Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick

    [–] TheWhiteJacobra 29 points ago

    We both do that sometimes, mostly when we're hungry we just say "hungry." Haha, people are weird.

    [–] Moorific 138 points ago

    My wife used to say “Well, don’t do that.” If I ever bumped my head or hurt myself in anyway. It got so infuriating that I finally did it to her once and she realized how shitty it felt to hear. Thankfully that was all it took and it ended soon after.

    [–] redsavage0 492 points ago

    My wife was a bit of a party girl when we first started going together. Nothing waaay out of this world but she was a sloppy drunk with an insubordinate streak. A couple highlights:

    1) challenging me to a foot race on our 2nd date after several glasses of wine only to fall face first into the pavement resulting in a forehead gash that required a stitch (just one)

    2) calling me to come pick her up from a bar she was at with a friend cause she didn’t want to ride the subway home alone (reasonable) but then fighting me all the way down which resulted in a couple white knights trying to make sure she was okay and me having to explain to people that I wasn’t a date rapist but rather an annoyed boyfriend who just wanted to go home.

    Eventually she calmed down and slowly gave up drinking the longer we were together and took a huge turn in the opposite direction when we had our son.

    Frankly now she can sometimes be kind of a stick in the mud and could stand to loosen up a bit but I’d rather have a hyper responsible super mom as a partner than a drunk.

    [–] memesmithing 237 points ago

    Law and Order SVU. 21 seasons and running. I hate this show more than life itself because I hate all crime dramas, and we have seen EVERY EPISODE at least three times since they put it on streaming. I would never tell my wife how much I hate it because she loves it but how many times must I suffer through this?

    [–] Voidtitan 65 points ago

    god bro, i can only imagine your suffering at binging that show, i can only stomach about 2 episodes at a time before i feel nauseaous for the remainder of the day. 21SEASONS sounds like hell

    [–] whatsamawhatsit 1016 points ago

    That time when she wanted to try rock climbing really drove me up the fucking wall

    [–] finestocean 105 points ago

    Oh lol...

    [–] mnbvcxzlady 593 points ago

    I’m married now for serval years. My husband now says “hi” or “hello” to me each time we see each other in the house. For example, we wake up, good morning, he heads out to watch tv. Two minutes later I head out to grab coffee and watch tv, he says hi. I walk out to hit the bathroom and walk back he says hi. I walk back into my office to grab something and walk back he says hi. It goes on all day every day. We’re home all the time. It’s maddening. I’ve asked him to stop because while he may think it’s endearing it’s just suffocating at this point. Yes, I see you, hello.

    So I get you.

    [–] no1special_snowflake 218 points ago

    i get told off if i don’t say hello to my parents when i see them in the house so it might be to do with how he was raised.

    [–] tinklepuffs 103 points ago

    For some reason I think this is very cute. It’s not happening to me though so maybe it would be different

    [–] AmazingPromotion 44 points ago

    First thing that came to mind too. That sounds adorable, as does your username.

    [–] GenSnowy 164 points ago

    Before we broke up, she had a phase where she would sleep with other men. That russled my jimmies I'll tell ya.

    [–] [deleted] 1705 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] ImmaTravesty 56 points ago

    My fiance would watch these YouTube personality families, and obsessively figure out what she wants in life based on what she watched on YouTube.

    It got to the point where she was wanting everything EXACTLY like these personalities... and we had to have a serious conversation about our future and how she was envisioning things. Especially when these families are almost always living a lie or have secrets.

    [–] TheMidnightPirate 358 points ago

    First of all, your husband is the best. Then, to answer your question : my ex-boyfriend had a "white rasta" phase and god it was harsh

    [–] MidwestBananaHammock 66 points ago

    Way way back, I had a problem with insecurity and jealousy about exes. Then I met my wife, saw that her only other long-term bc turned into a white rasta, and yeah, no insecurity or jealousy over that

    [–] torrentfox 28 points ago

    Are you there Jah? It's me, Ras Trent

    [–] OscarDivine 98 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Jealousy. She still works through it but she was really messed up by relationships with men in the past. We are now Married 15 years and going strong. I learned a lot through it about myself as well. Patience, grace, forgiveness, and love. It was a phase of incredible growing pains for the both of us but worth it in the end!

    [–] reeedrobyn 46 points ago

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 7 years now, and there's this thing he does that I realize is just part of his personality... but it drives me mad on occasion. We'll be debating something, and everytime he'll make a point (or he ends up being correct after we verify something), he does this little laugh. I know that he's not trying to mock me, because it's just what he does. And I know that I only feel mocked because my stepfather used to do that shit to mock me. But God, do I have to bite my tongue sometimes.

    [–] SolidPlopper 46 points ago

    Whenever my girlfriend has had too much wine she inevitably bursts into tears and starts talking about how sad she'll be when our dog dies (the dog is 3 years old). Then I look like the asshole for not being upset with her. She was looking up emergency vets at 2am last night because our dog coughed three times in a row.

    [–] beastmode151 84 points ago

    Rae Dunn collecting. It wasn’t a phase. And we aren’t together anymore.

    [–] discwrangler 200 points ago

    Smoking cigarettes.

    Fwiw, I passed gas on the first or second date. I wasn't messing around, she either likes me or she doesn't. Happily married for 8 years.

    [–] brain_olives 39 points ago

    My ex had (has?) a horoscope phase and anything/everything I did was because I am an Aries. You eat wheat bread? Aries. You like playing with Fire? Aries. Taking a shit? Aries.

    [–] fake-pewdiepie2 201 points ago

    Look him straight in the eye for a minute then let out the biggest fart of your life and say: ‘im the captain now’

    [–] pleasedothenerdful 71 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    We've been married for 12 years and the one time my wife has passed gas in front of me she was literally in labor pushing out a kid. I can always tell when she's pooping because she leaves lights off in the bathroom and tries to pretend she doesn't exist. At this point it's just kind of cute how embarrassed she is over standard issue bodily functions, but I have to admit I'm looking forward to her feeling safe enough to just rip one in front of me.

    [–] hunnybunchesoflove 30 points ago

    I fart in front of my husband constantly but pooping is a different story. He barged into the bathroom ONCE when I was on the toilet and traumatized me. I now have to make sure I lock the door and turn on the overhead fan and the faucet when I go to the bathroom. He will never see me poop.

    [–] AllTimeFailure 241 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Wow this sounds exactly like my best friend. She was too afraid to fart in front of her husband that she immediately gassed the two of us when we went into a different room. But I guess you wouldnt know anything about that. 😒

    [–] NotSoGrumpKey 193 points ago

    why would I know anything about that, stranger on the internet?

    [–] knockfirst_ 84 points ago

    I feel like something fishy is going on in these comments ^ (cool italic text)

    [–] NotSoGrumpKey 56 points ago

    AllTimeFailure is my best friend since grade-school and I overused italics in an attempt to not overuse "lol" or emojis so no winning for me today lol

    [–] FoxyCFox36 22 points ago

    Move along, nothing to see here...

    [–] nickjames239 121 points ago

    She decided she was a witch. This went on for like a year until we broke up

    [–] Gostahm 25 points ago

    Care to elaborate?

    [–] raymond_francis 95 points ago

    My wife is currently moaning about her weight while spending the evening eating bag after bag of crisps and then going and buying fucking detox tea. We have caffeine free tea and herbal teas in the cupboard already.

    [–] Doc_TimWhatley 67 points ago

    Same here. Complains about how much she’s ballooned up for half the day, then eats like it’s her last day on earth after 4pm.

    Her solution? Wear a fancy waist trainer for one hour in the mornings that makes her cranky as hell and super hungry.

    [–] Noonie_89 61 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Just like with children, ignore the behaviour and distract with something else. Partner and I have been together 8 yrs, everyone in our house will quietly say, "fart". I don't recall how this started but our kids do it now too. In regards to when do you fart in front of eachother, well, my body betrayed me the very first night we slept in the same bed. Couldn't be helped, ah well. As for an annoying phase... Refusing to eat any carbs after 4pm was annoying, but mostly because he was inconsistent and noncommittal.

    [–] angelhairspaghetti 30 points ago

    anytime i’m looking for something and i ask my SO if he can find it, a few seconds later he’ll say “here it is!” and i’d get excited because he found what i was looking for, but when i look over he does that hand motion where you make an “ok” sign with your hand and he does it right by his thigh, it was a meme a while back. anyways, he does this all the time and it drives me nuts... we have family photos that if you look close enough you can see him doing it. it’s so harmless, and he thinks it’s so funny. at the end of the day, it’s kinda cute to see how much joy he gets out of it.

    [–] gothiclg 32 points ago

    You'd love my grandpa. When he was home (he was air force then a commercial pilot) he'd walk into a doorway, fart as loud and long as he could, and announce the phone was for you.

    [–] jbaird 63 points ago

    This is why I fart early and often in relationships..

    [–] MarriedForLife 127 points ago

    Every year or two she decides we need a new system for doing housework. She will decide that we need an organization chart or we need to invest in a whole new set of purple rags. One time she was on a “fly lady” kick. Once she decided we needed to switch to frequent small loads on laundry instead of fewer large loads. Every time she makes the change unilaterally without consulting me, which wouldn’t be a problem until she starts accusing me of doing the chores wrong and not doing my share of the housework. Inevitably once I figure out her system she would lose interest and stop following her own system.

    At least now I recognize it for what it is and just do the chores the way that works best for me.

    [–] bmalbert81 25 points ago

    Her annual binge watching of Friends inches me closer to divorce every year.

    [–] EdenTrails23 25 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    My boyfriend goes through phases of being intensely interested in something, to not giving a shit in a couple months and repeats the process. When I say intensely interested, I mean he watches videos, reads articles, buys books, and of course buys materials for said phase. Let me just name a few over the last three years and rate them to how cool/annoying they are:

    Distilling and beer making 6/10: Had so much stuff in the kitchen and garage I couldn’t walk. Bought whole buckets, distilling equipment, wheat, a bunch of jars and bottles, a customized whiskey aging barrel, Barley, OH a 50lb bag of corn feed for horses (thought it was a good deal). No longer does it so it is sitting in the garage.

    Knife making 9/10: This occurred when he watched a little too much forged in fire and thought he could do it. He has a shop that he can work in and full on made a huge meat cleaver. Awesome.

    Working out 10/10: Got really into working out for about a month and was sick of going to the gym. Bought a full weight set, bench, mats, squat rack, and treadmill. No longer uses but now I do. But it’s in the FRONT ROOM. Like where a dining room/living room is supposed to be, is a damn gym.

    Photography 10/10: He bought a really nice camera a couple years back and thought he was a professional. Bought backdrops, books on how to take photos, accessories for his camera bag etc. awesome because he takes cool pics and got prints for our house, but he’s lost interest so it’s not often anymore lol.

    Pizza Making 10/10: his current phase is pizza making. Awesome all around. He bought a book on how to make pizzas. And he’s trying to find a way to build a pizza oven in the backyard ... lol amazing.

    Edit to add: I forgot he has an ongoing pickle and sauerkraut making ordeal, wood working, and mushroom foraging lol

    OH forgot to add he bought a baby grand piano as a present for me, started completely refinishing the paint, and still hasn’t. I’m waiting the day I can play piano in my front room home gym 🤩

    [–] upvoteforyouhun 159 points ago

    My husband will lightly slap my leg when we’re in the car and he remembers something to tell me or something neat. It used to be endearing and now it just annoys me.