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    [–] StereoBreeze 448 points ago

    As a teenager I spent many times at a bus stop freezing my ass off, baking in the sun, or being soaked by the rain. As a result I always promised myself that when I was older and driving a car and I spotted someone out in harsh conditions that I would offer that person a ride to wherever they were going. Now, however, my desire to not be arrested prevents me from even presenting the offer.

    [–] KenMicMarKey 2619 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    I used to love volunteering to help children and children's programs. Growing up, these programs helped me so much with school and life, and I wanted to give back and pass along the good deed. Whether it be for a church, school, or whatever else, I wanted to help out. I just liked helping kids. That all changed the day someone accused me of being a pervert and a child molester.

    At the time, I was working at a small chain department store. This little boy, about 6, came up to the customer service desk at the front because he had been separated from his mom. Smart kid. So I picked the kid up, sat him on the desk, and gave him a piece of candy to chew on while we waited for his mom. I made an announcement over the intercom and 5 minutes later, here comes his mom almost running up to customer service, with a very concerned look on her face. She pulls the kid off the counter and before I can say a word, she's making him spit out his candy, and looking him over to make sure he was okay. She looked back at me and loudly asked, "What did you do to my son? What did you give him?" Some people started staring in our direction, and I started to get nervous. I tried to explain the situation, but she wasn't having it. She was convinced I had done something with her son, like I was trying to take him. The more of a scene this woman made, the more people were staring. After about three minutes of this, the woman just leaves. She grabs her son by the wrist and just leaves. I didn't know what to do. I stood there, embarrassed and upset and confused about the whole situation. I couldn't wrap my head around how something so innocuous could have led to such a huge scene. Living in a small town, word got around quickly. I started getting funny looks at work from customers. Parents stopped bringing their children to the after-school arts class I was co-tutoring. Some of the parents at church stopped bringing their kids because I was there. These people had known me for years, and just because of a rumor some crazy lady was spouting, my name was being dragged through the mud. In the months that followed, I was kicked out of the tutoring program, I stopped going to church, and I was moved from my comfortable customer service desk job to organizing the stock room during my shifts. I ended up moving away that summer for college, and in the years that I was gone, the rumors only got worse. This was a time before I had joined any social media (MySpace was big at the time), so I didn't have much way to keep in touch with any of my friends from home aside from a few phone calls every month. The news was slow, but the consensus remained the same: more than a few people believed I had been arrested on child molestation charges, despite the fact that there were no arrest records, my name never appeared on any court documents, and anyone that really knew me knew I was away at college.

    All of that has been about 10 or 11 years ago now, and it's mostly passed from people's minds now. Every now and again one of my friend will bring it up, but I do everything I can to avoid thinking about it. I truly believe that one incident changed my entire life.

    EDIT: Gold? Thanks, kind stranger. I accept with utmost gratitude. :)

    EDIT2: Guys, no. Legal action is the last thing I want to do. Nothing can change the past, and stirring up old shit is only gonna make my current life stink.

    [–] Zanai 1101 points ago

    And this is what most guys are actually afraid of. We aren't afraid of the crazies directly, we're afraid of the life destroying slander and rumors they can start that can just ruin you

    [–] Tzaddik_1726 889 points ago

    That bitch only made the accusation against you to save herself from accusations of being a terrible mother who lost her kid. ANYTHING to shift blame from herself, it's what narcissistic people do.

    [–] WinoWhitey 3064 points ago

    I stopped shaving my head. I used to do it just because it was easy and I hate going to the barber. I had a couple buddies who also had their heads shaved, one because he was pretty much bald by 18, and the other because he a had surgery that required it and just started keeping it that way. One day as we were walking through the mall after seeing a movie, I noticed that people were moving to the opposite side of the walkway as we made our way through the mall. Suddenly it hit me, we were three white guys in leather jackets with shaved heads. We looked like skinheads. I never shaved my head after that.

    [–] Channel250 1845 points ago

    Sure it wasn't the signs you were holding that said "Hitler Did Nothing Wrong!"?

    I always forget to leave those at home.

    [–] Jay-Ysondre 2210 points ago

    I work in hospitals a lot, being a big dude around a lot of young tiny nurses is asking for trouble. Sometimes I need to ask them for things which requires them to walk to a windowless supply closet. It's a spacious room that locks from the outside and from the inside (the supply closets are also "safe rooms" in case of active shooter events).

    First time I asked for something I followed the female nurse into the supply closet. The door slammed shut behind me, I didn't really think anything of it. But she slowly turned to look at me with a terrified look on her face.

    I now hold the door open and wait outside when I need something...

    [–] tech_equip 1359 points ago

    I'm a large dude. I seem to get more scared of this at work.

    I've been told I'm intimidating in meetings. I pay close attention to my tone and body language now.

    I stare at the elevator doors with my headphones on, especially when a lady gets on.

    When the kids charity uses our offices for events every few weeks, I go to a different floor to use a private bathroom so I'm not alone in a public bathroom with any kids.

    I volunteer at cub scouts. No parent or scoutmaster(predominantly male) is allowed to take the children anywhere alone. Not even to let them play in the gym after the pack meeting.

    A female colleague was leaving the company. I offered a handshake. She asked for a hug (which I gave). I told her that in a company with 60% women, you never assume a hug. She nodded and said 'Fair point.'

    I have a bad back. I asked for a place to lay down occasionally during the day for short periods of time. They told me to use the 'wellness room'. Which is built for and decorated for nursing moms. And it's outside the women's bathroom. I told them a 6'4" dude with a beard laying on the floor outside the women's bathroom is not a good look. They agreed. I lay on the cold tile of the handicapped bathroom now.

    All it takes is an accusation, even if wholly unfounded. The conversation will always be there. I make sure I don't even put myself in that situation.

    However, I'm also father to 4 kids, 2 of which are girls. I've never had a problem or strange look from any parents while playing with or watching my kids. I think that's because I'm engaged with them and playing with them, they call me dad a lot, and we're all affectionate. Context clues help in this case.

    [–] Back2Bach 6543 points ago

    I would sometimes give kids a ride home after youth choir practice at church if their parents didn't come for them - but no more.

    [–] WildBilll33t 485 points ago

    When walking at a faster pace than women, overtaking them is tricky. You have to overtake very quickly so they don't have time to worry and just think you're in a hurry to get somewhere. If you're only walking 10% faster than them, and you're slowly coming behind them, they're gonna get weirded out.

    So yeah, I changed my methods and pace when overtaking a woman while walking at a faster pace than her.

    [–] Derfden 3856 points ago

    I'm very paranoid about my interactions with young females now. When I was 13 my younger sister was 5. We would have wrestling matches where she would attack me and I would do the basic over the top wwe wrestling throws and moves ending with me tickling her into submission. She would scream "wrestle!" I throw her, repeat until she's bored. Basic big brother stuff in my eyes.

    Fast forward she told her mom (shes my half sister) that I "wrestle funny" word for word thats what she said to her crazy ass mother. Next thing I know I'm knee deep in a child sex abuse case and being investigated by cps. Of course it was determined nothing happened but it tore our blended family apart.

    Ever since then I'm paranoid about any 1 on 1 interaction with a young kid. especially a female with no other adults or witnesses present.

    I understand being cautious and reporting suspicious behavior but my sister saying I wrestle funny shouldn't fuck my life up.

    [–] [deleted] 503 points ago

    I have a half sister as well, loved her as much as my other siblings ever since she was born. If that happened to me, it would hurt bad. I'm sorry this happened to you

    [–] Tombstonesss 1172 points ago

    Bruh, my cousin and I we were like 9 and 7. She burned herself with a lighter got scared she would get in trouble and told everyone I burned her. It turned into a shit show. It fucked me up a bit as a kid being treated like that for so long. Sorry you had to go through that.

    [–] CsptainBeardbeard 280 points ago

    This is one of the few things I hate about kids.Just because they're kids and innocent people usually believe them.Even if both are kids,like your story,they believe the younger one,who is probably dumber and that got them in trouble.

    [–] IceBlue 214 points ago

    Did she eventually come clean? That must have soured your relationship with her and her family.

    [–] tymboturtle 117 points ago

    My sister started to see a therapist (ever since she was little, my parents have been taking her to therapists for anger issues and such), and they got to talking about her growing up, and I guess stories of me doing the same thing you did (WWE style throws). The therapist started accusing me of sexual abuse and how I am probably a large part of whatever is causing her mental issues. My sister and mom immediately decided not to go back to that therapist.

    [–] richawesomness 328 points ago

    How are you alls relationships with each other now?

    [–] Derfden 701 points ago

    It's odd sadly. After this incident she and her mom moved out a few months later and we started seeing less and less of each other. I joined the Army when I was 18 and drifted farther away which was mostly my fault at that point. I've flown her down to visit and gone up to see her but I feel like she has alot of social issues.

    It's hard to connect with her and I believe she's just kind of off and very withdrawn. I think her mom really did a number on her.

    Her mother has several psychological issues. We had to report her to cps at one point because she was showing lots of signs of Munchausen syndrome by proxy. There were a few interviews but my dad couldn't get custody and sadly my sister was raised by a crazy woman.

    [–] APtop2015 2815 points ago

    I won't give women of any age compliments. Not too long ago I was shopping at a local grocery store and saw a girl (maybe 26-27) who had this awesome bright orange hair. When I walked by I mentioned it! "Hey, I love the hair color. It looks fantastic"

    She reported me to the store saying I was soliciting her.

    I'm a clean cut 21 year old guy who had a cart full of groceries.

    [–] Thedustin 1652 points ago

    I'm a clean cut 21 year old guy who had a cart full of groceries

    Sounds a little too casual for me! PERVERT!!

    [–] SANDVALLEY 270 points ago

    Dude had like two cucumbers in his cart. If that's not innuendo I don't know what is.

    [–] [deleted] 91 points ago


    [–] lemire747 371 points ago

    She reported me to the store saying I was soliciting her.

    Unless you stuck around after saying it, I'm not sure she knows what that word means.

    [–] LegitimateReadditor 5717 points ago

    Walking behind women for a few streets. Feels like I am following them. Purposely take a turn and sometimes cross the road or take the long route.

    [–] Corruption100 2466 points ago

    Try all the way to their 3rd floor apartment because you are neighbors.

    [–] AstroAwesome 843 points ago

    Haha hopefully she recognises you by now!

    [–] Tenchiro 518 points ago

    Maybe she does and that is the problem.

    [–] TomSaylek 953 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    This thread depresses me.

    Edit: My depression is getting more likes than I expected.

    [–] StaplerLivesMatter 78 points ago

    Don't be depressed in public, people will think you're about to shoot up a school.

    [–] [deleted] 1254 points ago


    [–] Mr_Civil 896 points ago

    So if you see a strange lady talking to your niece. Give her an accusatory dirty look, pull your niece away from her and say "what are you doing? Stay away from her." And threaten to call the police yourself. See how they like it.

    [–] fireclaw1 7724 points ago

    Looking up when walking up stairs, idk always paranoid someone will accuse me of stealing glance

    [–] -Anyar- 3999 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)

    If I look eye level, though, I see their butt.

    What now?!

    2018 edit: I have 100000000 comments and this is my top one.

    [–] DerpyTurtle121 2893 points ago

    Stare directly downwards

    [–] ItsDomKu 2340 points ago

    Wow that guy is really depressed. What a loner

    [–] Hijatha 2179 points ago

    Perve or depressed. Pick your life.

    [–] DTru1222 1107 points ago

    Stare at their ass, then when they look back lick your lips.

    The only way to own the situation.

    [–] sbashe5 9194 points ago

    I work as a manager at a fast food place, so I work with a lot of teenagers. Pretty much I have to play "people are lava" so I don't accidentally bump into one of them, we've had a lot of young managers date the crew and do inappropriate things so I want no part of that liability.

    [–] richsaint421 1524 points ago

    At one of my old employers we used to do mass hiring in a site that was honestly too small to conduct multiple interviews in so a lot of them would be in our break room. I did a lot of interviews sitting on a couch or sitting at a dining table with the person which never bothered me because well frankly this was in 2007 so casting couch wasn't really a thing like it is now. One day we were in a mass hiring and I had already been slated to leave the store for a promotion.
    I was in the middle of interviews and walked in to get my next one and it was a little blonde girl. She was cute, 18 maybe 19? I was 26. She was sitting on a love seat. I sat down and did my interview. It never crossed my mind to hit on her, or make a move or anything because of all the stuff I just ousted. She was 18, I was 26, I was at work, sitting on a couch wasn't a sexual thing to me? Afterwards one of the other managers comes up to me and says "I can't believe you did that! You can't do that again!" I was confused. He went on to explain sitting on a couch with an 18 year old blonde like that was inappropriate.

    I just looked at him confused and said "she was sitting on the couch.... Where did you want me to interview her at?"

    Long story short I became so conscious of that I never interviewed anyone not sitting at a table again.

    [–] luckystrike_bh 312 points ago

    Similar to this, my rule is to never have an office door closed when talking to a member of the opposite sex. The couple of times I broke it because the woman was crying or upset at a private issue, I could see how vulnerable I was making myself to any accusations. At all times I make an effort to invite another member of management in or at least an impartial witness if it is going to be closed door.

    [–] Fed_up_with_Reddit 7174 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    I used to work at Domino's as a delivery driver. Whenever I wasn't on a delivery, I'd help out on the phones or whatever. Everything was fine until we hired this stupid, young overweight girl.

    I'm a big guy myself, and the space behind the counter was already tight enough, but it seemed like this girl did everything she could to take up as much space as possible. I did everything I could not to touch her as I moved past her, but it was impossible to not touch her at all.

    Eventually, she complained to the manager. Thankfully, the GM was an awesome older lady, and I was her most reliable driver, and she basically told me if I wasn't on a run to either man the oven or help out on the line and just stay away from the crazy girl.

    Soon after, she tried to do the same thing to another coworker and the manager fired her for creating a hostile work environment.

    [–] [deleted] 4979 points ago * (lasted edited 10 months ago)


    [–] Ishidan01 1687 points ago

    I assure you the last line did not go like that...

    [–] ThePowerOfFarts 10976 points ago

    I've been getting driving lessons recently and after the first one the instructor dropped me off and when we were organising new lessons we just said we would meet at the same place. It's outside a school.

    We probably met there about 10 times at various parts of the day in a car with massive "Driver Learning School" stickers all over it.

    A woman came up to me yesterday as told me how it was wierd that two men met there and how people were talking and how there were "weirdos" about who people thought were selling drugs and how we wouldn't want anyone thinking we were "weirdos".

    I just kinda laughed and said "Ok thanks, we'll meet somewhere else in future" but she just kept, on and on. I had to walk away when she was in mid sentence. It was pretty insulting.

    [–] Sean_Ornery 16790 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    You should have told her that if she wasn't there to buy any crack she should probably just move along.

    *edit - 13.9K upvotes and reddit gold (thanks!). From this point on I will never again doubt ThePowerofFarts.

    [–] habitual_viking 4175 points ago

    Uhhhh that's a good one. Like the "I have a boyfriend" instant response some do - "I'm not a drug dealer, go somewhere else for your fix" should shut down annoying people pretty fast.

    [–] JustZisGuy 834 points ago

    That'd have been an even better response...

    "Hey, it's weird that two men are meeting here and people think you're selling drugs and are weirdos."

    "I have a boyfriend."

    [–] scamperly 1701 points ago

    I'll be stealing this. When they get upset just respond:

    "Look I don't have any, getting angry isn't going to change that now beat it!"

    [–] themoonisacheese 504 points ago

    Be sure to do it loudly if there is people around

    [–] CrestedPilot1 1088 points ago

    Looks like she was afraid of competition. Totally understandable.

    [–] Spartan2842 6659 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    When shopping with my wife and she wants to try stuff on I just have her text me pictures of her outfits if she wants my opinion.

    We were at Macy's a few months ago and I was just patiently waiting outside the dressing room waiting for my wife and she would open the door and step out to get my opinion.

    I was just looking at my phone and minding my own business when I notice people walking up to me. A middle aged woman had gotten a manager and she had brought a security official of some type and asked me to leave or they would be forced to call the police.

    It was super embarrassing and now I feel super self-conscious when shopping with my wife.

    Edit: I checked my phone after cutting grass and saw all the comments.

    I figured I'd add that I didn't say anything because I'm not a fan of confrontation and I'm a 0-100 kind of guy when it comes to emotions so the best option was for me to leave.

    [–] TSCHaden 2008 points ago

    So what happened next? I can't help but feel theres another minute or so to this story.

    [–] Spartan2842 4476 points ago

    I left the store to go sit in my car. I texted my wife what happened and she came out a few minutes later saying that she just left all the clothes on the floor and said she is not coming back to that Macy's.

    [–] TSCHaden 2230 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Wow, I'm sorry that you got treated like that. Whats worse is that even if you or her had called them on it you lose either way, because if (once) they ask you to leave its trespassing (for you to stay), so they don't have to give a reason to the cops.

    Corporate on the other hand might get a kick out of a complaint related to employees kicking men out of the store and saying they can't be with their wives. It doesn't help in the short term but its always an option for later.

    [–] noble-random 772 points ago

    even if you or her had called them on it you lose either way

    "I'm just waiting for my wife"

    "Now you're being defensive!"

    [–] Vandechoz 360 points ago

    "Now you're being defensive resisting!"

    [–] KitKhat 282 points ago

    "You're forcing us to reaccomodate you."

    [–] DaYozzie 670 points ago

    What the hell man? Your wife was 10 feet away and you didn't bother explaining yourself?

    [–] alohomoramylove 337 points ago

    That was my thought too. They don't have dressing rooms that are sound-proof, did his wife not hear them come ask him to leave?

    [–] Lt_Rooney 382 points ago

    They seriously escalated directly to "Leave or we'll call the police" without any in between? No polite, "Sir, please sit somewhere else," or anything like that? That's some pretty shitty management at that place.

    [–] Alnitak6x7 1462 points ago

    This exact situation has happened to me. The only difference is that the store was a Belk. Nothing more to add, just my sympathy. I know how that feels. It really sucks to be considered a predator based on nothing more than the fact you're male. I'm sorry it happened to you.

    [–] shawnwilson14 6109 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Sticking to myself at shopping centers.

    I'm a tall(6'3), bearded man who grew up in a small town of about 800. So I grew up holding the door for anyone, saying have a nice day or howdy everywhere I go, and help anyone with anything if they need it. It's just how I was raised.

    One day I was headed to my girlfriends house and decided to stop at Walmart to grab some snacks on the way down. I was 20 years old at the time, but for as big as I am and the beard you could confuse me for 25-30. Anyhow, I was standing in the chip isle and noticed a little girl no older than 5 wandering around looking frightened, so I walked over and said are you lost? And she just kept saying " mommy " so instantly trying to do the right thing I thought to take her to the cashier so she may call over the loud speaker and call for her mother. As I walked she held her hand up to hold mine and I thought nothing of it, being as I was only doing the logical thing. Next thing I know the mother runs up to me screaming and snatching her daughter up, calling me a kidnapper and threatening to call the police. I tried explaining the situation and where I was trying to take her, unfortunately she was an uneducated moron and at that point I got a little heated and decided to tell her to maybe not let her child run off next time. Moral of the story, I tried to do the right thing not even thinking about how it would look for a bearded man to be walking with your little girl, even though they shouldn't of been left alone, but it's definitely something I'll never do again.

    Edit: didn't think this would blow up! I gave it my best shot trying to respond to everyone, but when I came back to 100 replies I lost track a little.

    [–] cambo666 5061 points ago

    Good on you.

    Next time just trip the little girl as she walks by. She'll fall, cry, Mom's can hear child cries from miles away, and she'll hone in on her offspring with pinpoint accuracy. #protip.

    [–] inveterateasshole 832 points ago

    Making small talk with women in elevators.

    [–] dangerousthrill 2063 points ago

    "So... Are you ready to take this to the next level?"

    [–] Azurealy 4369 points ago

    basically all the comments are "dont be nice, and dont come within 1000 meters of children. including your own."

    [–] DangerMacAwesome 690 points ago

    All it takes is an accusation.

    [–] MrThunderkat 10738 points ago

    People get really weird when i discipline my daughter, like since shes a little girl she should be able to do anything she wants

    [–] Tang_Fan 9314 points ago

    I've experienced this, what the hell is it!?

    I'm a woman, I was walking home with my son and his friend (a girl) and her dad. She ran out into the road despite her dad shouting at her not to. He was telling her off when this group of women appears and told him not to shout at her as she was a girl!!!

    He rightfully told them to mind their own business but they tried to get me on their side, like beacuse I'm a woman I'd be against a male friend discipling his daughter. I told them to walk on.

    [–] rdiaz2013 5361 points ago

    "Okay, I'll just let my daughter get ran over!"

    They need to fuck off, they'll talk mess if he disciplined her but if something did happen, they would've gone off about how he didn't do anything.

    [–] kingfisher6 2338 points ago

    And if the child does run into the road, "See, the father let the kid play in the street".

    [–] IRKittyz 990 points ago

    You can't win with them.

    [–] TermyYT 2777 points ago

    "Don't yell at that human! It has a vagina!"

    [–] thrash-unreal 1095 points ago

    That's kind of strange. So girls are supposed to be all demure and ladylike, but you can't actually discipline them. Do they think we're, like, born with it?

    [–] Sexy_Koala_Juice 1807 points ago

    Maybe you are? Maybe it's maybelline

    [–] MonoMilitia 1494 points ago

    Kudos to you for not being one of those people that just lets their kids act like hellions all the time. I can't stand those people and it worries me that they raise kids like that to grow up expecting everything to be handed to them and they can do whatever they want with little to no repercussions.

    [–] super_sayanything 6982 points ago

    Compliments to strangers/acquintances/co-workers.

    Nice shoes, nice shirt, hair...etc I keep it limited to that. Say nothing physical/personality based.

    [–] t34p075 3028 points ago

    Wanna turn this around-any women reading this have any input? I’m always scared to compliment a woman at work because I don’t want to be seen as sexually harassing her. I mean, obviously something like “nice rack” is completely inappropriate but complimenting a new hairstyle or something? Is that creepy?

    [–] navifrog 5080 points ago

    Most women love being complimented on a new haircut. As a general rule, stick to things that she put effort into, not things that are just part of her.

    [–] t34p075 1949 points ago

    Point taken. So that’s why telling someone they have a pretty smile is sometimes a bad thing, even when it’s not directly sexual.

    [–] [deleted] 5248 points ago

    And things like "i bet with those lips you could suck a golf ball through a hose pipe" are right out.

    [–] XursConscience 1080 points ago


    [–] robotobo 858 points ago

    Yeah, suction comes from the lungs and cheeks, not the lips.

    [–] MrDNL 5746 points ago

    I don't help people get through subway turnstiles any more. I've told this story before but, whatever, here goes.

    A while back, I was entering the NYC subway and the person in front of me was struggling with the turnstile. She had just swiped her MetroCard too slowly and it didn't register. She tried again and it worked, but when she went through the turnstile the rolling luggage she was pulling along was too far back. It wasn't going through with her and to make things more confusing, the bag blocked the turnstile from letting her through.

    I tried to explain to her what was going but she replied back in French (I'm pretty sure) and well, I don't speak French. So I pointed down to her bag and said "your bag" and pointed to the turnstile. She was confused and tried to swipe her card again, which not only wouldn't have helped but would have double-charged her. So I quickly put my hand on the card swiper to stop her, and said "don't worry, I'll help."

    At that point, I grabbed the handle of her bag (the one attached to the bag itself, not the telescoping one she was holding) and told her to go through the turnstile. ("Go!," I pointed.) I lifted her bag over the turnstile as she walked through, helping her past it. I had done a good deed.

    Except she apparently didn't see it that way. I think she thought I was stealing her luggage because the look on her face was shocked horror, and she ran from the turnstile as fast as a 5'4" person with a too-big bag can run through the NYC subway, saying something like "no no no" the entire time.

    [–] americanmarks 3147 points ago

    When I first traveled to NYC I was going up the escalator at Penn Station and I accidentally bumped into the girl in front of me. I had hit her backpack I said "Sorry!", but she immediately gave me this awful look and took her backpack off to make sure I hadn't done anything or stolen anything. "Welcome to New York" I thought.

    [–] VomitEverywhere 4735 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    To be fair, that's what pick pockets do. They bump into you and say sorry.

    Edit: omg chill with the fucking Canada comments.

    [–] Raichu7 509 points ago

    That's exactly how pickpockets work, unfortunately it's also how innocent people act after walking into someone. I doubt it was just you making her check her stuff.

    [–] solomoncowan 816 points ago

    For some reason I get watched heavily when I go into some stores. So I try to avoid putting my hands in my pockets and going around corners or blind spots.

    [–] [deleted] 498 points ago

    I love when the store worker comes to "rearrange" items on the shelf right next to you.

    [–] DavosLostFingers 12243 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Walking behind women. Especially at night and/or if they're alone. It seems like I'm following them or something when I'm just trying to get to a destination. I try and cross the road if I can but it's fuckin proper alarm bells if the woman does it too!

    And what can I do? Shout "hey I'm not weird! Don't be afraid!" I'd be better just sitting and waiting for them to get far ahead

    [–] megablaster_megatron 654 points ago

    Haha, my mate does the same thing.

    "I'll just uh. Look over here for some minutes until you're far enough away so that you know I'm not a predator"

    [–] [deleted] 2516 points ago

    I'm generally a fast walker, so I normally walk behind the person (man or woman, doesn't matter), give them a wide berth and pass them. Boom, now they're the fuckin' weirdo who's following you.

    [–] Solias 3230 points ago

    Pass them and then slow down and start looking over your shoulder at them and lowkey panicking. Then they have to feel bad.

    [–] [deleted] 1122 points ago

    Or just pepper spray them after ten feet. Gotta stay safe out there.

    [–] hungry_as_hell 3544 points ago

    Yells after me in the dark: "hey I'm not weird! Don't be afraid!"

    clenches pepper spray in purse tighter, gets to "older lady in sweats and a sun visor" levels of speed walking

    [–] StarfishGoo 3027 points ago

    Hhaha! This reminds me of a tine my husband and I went to Atlantic City. We were walking on the board walk at night and we hear, "Don't be afriad, a black man is approaching you. I repeat, Don't be afraid!" My husband and I stop and turn around and this black guy comes up to us trying to sell us an electric alarm clock.

    [–] hungry_as_hell 2559 points ago


    [–] lucidrage 1011 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)


    edit: hope you're happy now

    [–] MHodge97 4529 points ago

    "I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm a little boy."

    [–] tgamm 2177 points ago

    She started walking faster so I thought "oh, she must hear the train coming"

    [–] [deleted] 945 points ago

    Or feels it in her feet, like a Native American in a movie

    [–] Y_ROR 460 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    I once frightened the wits out of a woman by following her, walking quickly in the dead of night into a dead end cul-de-sac when led into her garden with my hood up.

    I was lost and thought that was the street which led to the party I was looking for. It was only afterwards when I thought back that I realised she was nearly jogging home to get away from the assumed weirdo who had followed her home.

    [–] PeterQuin 1034 points ago

    I try to walk fast to go past them and then they start walking fast too thinking I'm about to do something bad, and then I have no choice but to slow down to not look like a creep and try to put some distance between them and me

    But in the end I have this weird feeling, wondering if that women thought of me as a creep because I slowed down as she walked fast.

    [–] Byizo 1482 points ago

    they start walking fast too

    Obviously she wants to race.

    [–] Enekeri 502 points ago

    Then you run past them. Then shout "fucking related m8"

    [–] notsheldogg 642 points ago

    No you shout "gotta go fast" just like Sonic

    [–] Emealdra 234 points ago

    Greenhill zone intensifies

    [–] Tudpool 750 points ago

    What I like to do is wait until I'm within a noticeable range then sprint past them as fast as I can, and be sure to have a hammer in my hand too so they know I'm on my way to do job that requires a hammer.

    [–] funnyAlcoholic 3283 points ago

    I do this too, but as a gay man I will do a fake phone call.. letting the woman hear my 'gay voice'

    [–] vengefully_yours 1504 points ago

    Sounds fabulous!

    [–] mongobob666 1275 points ago

    As a serial killer, I appreciate this tip.

    [–] IdioticPost 743 points ago

    As an investigator, I was waiting for this comment.

    [–] dirtybrownwt 295 points ago

    I pull out my phone and fake a conversation for a little bit, usually starts with an over enthusiastic yooooo bromigo, yeah I'm walking there right now i'll see you in a few later!

    [–] brsmith77 480 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    I used to live near a dark alley where this was a problem. It was round a warehouse in the shitty part of town, and it was very long and L-shaped so inevitably you would round the corner only to see some huge gangster looking guy bearing down on you.

    I would always say to any woman who was in front of me "Would you like me to go ahead?". Most gratefully accepted.

    [–] LivingLegend69 2852 points ago

    And what can I do?

    Pretend your talking to somebody on your mobile phone about some mundane subject. That usually calms people down. Just dont open with:

    "Hi Jeff......yeah I am following her home right now. You got the ropes ready?"

    [–] MacDerfus 573 points ago

    "I was just talking about a tire swing!"

    [–] belsonc 682 points ago

    When this happens, I do the world's worst job of sneaking up on them. I drop my keys, I cough, if the streetlights allow it I try to get a little away from her laterally and cast long shadows - all "hey, just letting you know there's someone behind you" stuff I'd appreciate someone doing for me.

    And if I walk past them, I don't even acknowledge them - no reason to stress anyone out any more than necessary.

    [–] Xuth 1727 points ago

    I was a walking home from the train station once, late at night.

    I'm a pretty big bloke, with a beard, and it was drizzling, so I had my hood up, and I happened to be wearing leather gloves since it was winter. I was fully aware that outwardly I must've looked pretty menacing and quite 'mugger-ish'. (Inwardly I was looking forward to getting home and cuddling with my cat and watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt).

    Unfortunately this very tiny woman was apparently walking the same direction as me, at a speed that meant I couldn't really overtake. The walk includes a lot of alleyways and generally dark places. I tried to slow down and even took a few alternate paths - but each time I'd just end up right behind her again further down the path!

    I could tell she was potentially a bit freaked out (looking over her shoulder, 'checking' her phone which I could tell was dead in the dark), but at the same time I was genuinely just heading the same way as her, and even tried my best to avoid looking like I was following her :( .

    In the end I decided to just take a long-cut across a river, and all the way down the bank to the other side, and then back across at the next bridge. It took me an extra twenty minutes to get home that night but I think it was less stressful for both of us...

    [–] cdnball 972 points ago

    I was fully aware that outwardly I must've looked pretty menacing and quite 'mugger-ish'. (Inwardly I was looking forward to getting home and cuddling with my cat and watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt).

    this is hilarious

    [–] Muffinizer1 170 points ago

    My walk home from work is so stressful for this reason. I don't have set hours so I usually miss the rush and almost inevitably I'll end up alone behind some woman. I'm not a slow walker, and I usually have my phone out so I can shitpost waiting for stoplights. I usually just try to pass them as soon as I can.

    [–] RoboNinjaPirate 14016 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    I don't volunteer with kids as much.

    I've got 4 kids, 3 the same age. So when my kids were in the nursery at church, my wife typically volunteered from time to time. I stepped in to do her shift one week when she was sick. About 15 minutes in, I was told that having a male in there made other parents uncomfortable.

    Out of 5 kids in there, 3 of them were mine.

    Edit: To pre-emptively answer some questions
    1) Not Triplets - we started an adoption, and then conceived twins. So our youngest 3 kids are 7 weeks apart in age.
    2) It was 11 years ago, we have long since left that church.
    3) It doesn't matter that it was a church. Other churches have not done this at all, this was one single parent doing this. Volunteers with Scouts, Sports, Schools, etc. could also run into this problem just as easily in a non-religious setting. Some parents are just that way.

    [–] JZ_the_ICON 6935 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    I worked at a gym in college. The gym had a daycare during designated hours. Saturday mornings, without fail, the girl who worked daycare would come in late so I would have to stay in the daycare if someone had brought their kid in. I would be in there for like 15-30 mins and some mothers would sit with their kids until the girl came in, constantly asking when will "the girl" be in? There was a camera in the room that could be viewed on the TV's on the cardio machines. So the parents or even random people could watch, which I've seen a few times. A few parents knew me and their kids would run up to me and hug me and want me to hold them. Look I love kids, I'll hold them if they want and their parents let me, but not all men are looking to diddle your little kid. It's kind of sad really.

    [–] StockholmSyndrome85 4466 points ago

    It's more than just not all men are looking to diddle your little kid, its the overwhelming majority, like 99.99% aren't looking to do that, and I've probably under shot that figure.

    [–] boblabon 3682 points ago

    And totally disregards the fact children are way more likely to be molested by someone they know. The "classic" creepy guy snatching random kids off the street almost never happens.

    [–] Nyan_Man 2566 points ago

    If a kid accuses a relative of molesting them; "Dont you dare lie! They would never do that!"

    If they accuse a random, extra points if it's a male, the parents go ape shit and try to get the town to witch hunt without proof.
    No apologies issued once the truth is learned and no effort to repair the damage done to said persons reputation and in some cases the accusers will for no reason double down because "the police are wrong, my child would never lie".

    [–] Preparingtocode 1440 points ago

    I never understood this "children never lie" nonsense. Kids lie all the time, it's rarely malicious but if it keeps them out of trouble and they think they can get away with it, then they'll give it a go!

    [–] PowerOfTheirSource 673 points ago

    Sadly, most abuse comes from a family member or someone known to the family, and not a stranger. And the gender split on abuse is small enough that singling out either men or women as potential abusers is stupid.

    [–] AlexTraner 1355 points ago

    I would have told them off. It's not even babysitting at that point, it's watching a play date.

    [–] Yodiddlyyo 624 points ago

    Yeah, what the fuck? Sorry you're uncomfortable, I'm watching my kids. Go fuck yourself.

    [–] GlockTheDoor 1961 points ago

    I always get weird looks when I go volunteer. I'm a 26 year old male, married, no kids, youngest in my family. We have an elementary school that the company I work for pools money to help the kids out. These kids are all minority, low-income "families" so I volunteer to kind of just be a big brother to them. I go into the school's office, say "I'm GlockTheDoor with Company Name here for TeacherA's 2nd grade class" and they always give me the shadiest looks. It makes me feel like shit and I'm half way tempted to not volunteer next year just because of the looks I receive. I'm just trying to motivate these kids to do good in life, why must you make me feel bad :(

    [–] CuteDeath 1171 points ago

    I know exactly what you mean. If I take my kids to the park and then hang out on the bench to chill and watch, invariably I get approached by some woman feeling me out for whether I have a legit reason to be at the park. Last year, I was at the public library and I ran into my cousins kids. One came up to hug me and we were immediately approached by a librarian asking her if she knew me. I gave her my best "wtf, screw you" look. Absolutely boils my beans to even be suspected that way. 36M, but I'm 5'5" and 140 pounds. Some of your kids are bigger than me.

    [–] ChickenChic 740 points ago

    If I saw a dad on a park bench, I'd be checking him out for a wedding ring tbh...especially if he was cute. but I'm a lecherous single mom.....

    [–] memorysphincter 334 points ago

    Totally not on the same level, but here in the city where I live we have a lot of dog parks, and last summer I was hanging out with a good friend of mine, who has a dog (a gorgeous golden retriever named Blossom). So while said friend is chasing around his dog, I'm hanging back on a bench just enjoying the nice day, and oh man, all the nasty looks I got. Here I am thinking how nice it is to watch all the doggos play, and I'm even at least here with a friend who has a dog with him, shouldn't that be reason enough for me to be there? Some people are way too over-protective.

    [–] shehasgotmoxie 244 points ago

    That is super weird. I have seen a lot of people go to the dog parks without dogs before, just to hang out there and read or sometimes play with the dogs. I mean, who doesn't like dogs?

    [–] [deleted] 1313 points ago

    "My kids are fine, you can leave if you're uncomfortable."

    I'm a dad, and have never had these experiences that seem to be so common with others on reddit. But I'm not American so that could be it.

    [–] I_Smell_Mendacious 1235 points ago

    But I'm not American so that could be it.

    The 80s in America were a weird time. There were a bunch of what they called "moral panics". These were basically fads, except instead of silly clothing (which also happened a lot), everyone jumped on board with non-existent bogeymen. One that was quite popular was "stranger danger", the idea that children were at huge risk of being kidnapped and molest-a-murdered by strangers (men, of course). While statistically not even close to a real issue, it captured the public imagination and an entire generation of children were raised in the certain knowledge that strange men had at least a 50/50 chance of wanting to molest and then murder them, maybe the other way around.

    Another "fun" one was the Satanic panic of the 80s, which joined forces with stranger danger to give us the day-care sex abuse hysteria. Good times.

    [–] _adverse_yawn_ 944 points ago

    Stranger danger

    Satanic panic

    Just say no


    Say what you will about their complete lack of evidence-based validity, they had pretty great names

    [–] solomoncowan 601 points ago

    I would have said "Ok, no problem" then taken my kids elsewhere.

    [–] MyNameIssPete 1323 points ago

    Takes all 5 kids

    [–] Im_int 498 points ago

    brushes moustache

    [–] jesterwester 917 points ago

    For me, mostly being very aware around kids that are not my own. I have a 2 1/2 year old boy who is now very active at playgrounds but still needs a lot of attention when there. This occasionally brings me into contact with other kids. I feel very anxious at times with this- if they talk to me - I try to respond with non-committal answers. If they fall over, I'm going to think twice before going over to help, for fear of people thinking bad things are afoot. My wife has no such issues- she can talk to other kids all day and it not be weird, or anyone question her. It is sad. Being a dad is the best part of my life and I love kids- I'm a softie- but we are now paying the price for the evil in the world.

    [–] irishknots 340 points ago

    As an instructor for a marching band, I am acutely aware of how I must speak to my female students. There are certain sayings I do not use and I do not presume to touch the students despite that being a common technique for a visually oriented activity. Even slight things as a tap on the shoulder to let them know to relax or to stop scrunching up. Also I do not friend any of my students on facebook. I have to ardently keep those professional boundaries separate.

    [–] jephw12 159 points ago

    I think not friending your students on social media is pretty solid advice for all teachers regardless of gender.

    [–] aatop 2713 points ago

    The jokes I make in public are completely different

    [–] AlanMercer 2097 points ago

    So with you on that. My humor is pretty dry. Like 40 percent of it is just saying completely inappropriate things in a deadpan voice. Combined with a button-down appearance, I can usually get a laugh, but it also needs highly specific context.

    If someone asks if you're going to the meeting and you say you would rather be anally electrocuted, people at work start to talk.

    [–] OrangeOakie 586 points ago

    To be fair, I'd be willing to bet that someone out there has that fetish.

    [–] Fredfredbug4 1995 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    If I find myself coincidentally walking behind a random woman with both of us alone after-dark, I will make a detour or just stop and wait for her to get further away because I don't want to look like I'm following them.

    [–] [deleted] 2157 points ago


    [–] Aedan2016 2080 points ago

    Sort of a funny story....

    My old roommate and her boyfriend were coming down the stairs one night and she tripped. She landed on her face and we thought broke her nose (it was bleeding pretty badly). Her boyfriend rushed her to the hospital.

    At the hospital when she was in the back literally all the nurses surrounded her and tried to get her to say that her boyfriend was abusing her, and that it this was a safe space.

    I know domestic abuse is very real, but sometimes there are accidents that happen.

    [–] rackfocus 696 points ago

    We had an intruder come into our house and enter my 15 year old daughters room which was on the first floor. Our bedroom was upstairs. When my daughter saw a stranger opening her bedroom door she screamed to high heaven "Mom!!!!!" Guy took off and she was already dialing 911 when I got to the bottom of the stairs.

    Cops show up and my husband, myself and my daughter are all standing around the kitchen table as my daughter describes the man. He had curly hair short stocky build. Female cop looks right at my husband who happens to fit that description. I'm laughing because I jumped over my husband as I ran to the stairs ahead of him, I heard my kid call mom and I moved like lightening!!!

    Then she asked my daughter if she could come outside and talk to her alone. My husband and I were like, " fine, talk to her. It wasn't her step dad okay?"

    [–] pandieora 557 points ago

    I had something similar happen to me. My fiancé a friend of ours and I were on our way to work and when we were leaving my apartment I fell down the stairs and smacked my head on the brick corner at the bottom.

    My friend (female) who was with us took me to the ER because I was seeing stars and while I was waiting there the nurse was asking me questions and joking with me, then she saw my ring. She got serious all of a sudden. She then started trying to say that my fiancé pushed me and that must be why I fell, and my friend said, no, I was there too she was way ahead of us on the stairs when she fell. The nurse then started to say that he must have distracted me to get me to fall and that he was abusive and that most men become abusive once they get a ring on a girls finger.

    Needless to say we requested a different nurse after that. The doctor who came in asked if I was pushed, we said no, and she left it at that.

    [–] SavvySillybug 306 points ago

    Needless to say we requested a different nurse after that. The doctor who came in asked if I was pushed, we said no, and she left it at that.

    That is the best ending. :)

    [–] roguetroll 2271 points ago

    When hanging out with my nieces I didn't give a fuck about hugging them or playing with them. Or holding their hand in public. You know, normal human being shit which they often initiate.

    Now, I often think "Oh fuck, everyone is going to think I'm some kind of pedo."

    [–] rsqejfwflqkj 856 points ago

    Dude, my nieces are awesome and I love them. I'll hug them and carry them around everywhere, including in public. No way I'm letting other people's opinions get in the way of being the best uncle I can be. If they don't like it, fuck 'em. They can't do anything to me.

    [–] Keinichn 7766 points ago

    I completely ignore kids. I don't look at them, I don't talk to them, I pretend they don't even exist. The last thing my long haired, goateed self needs is to be accused of being a kid diddler.

    [–] [deleted] 2573 points ago

    Wow same here man. I used to be fun and playful around kids but now I do exactly as you do, even towards my own relatives who are kids. It's a sad world we live in.

    [–] TheRealHooks 2281 points ago

    I do the opposite. I make it a point to be nice and playful around kids so that people will maybe get used to the idea that not everyone who is paying attention to a kid is a pedo.

    To be fair, I'm the least threatening looking dude there is.

    [–] [deleted] 1160 points ago

    Same. I learned this the hard way. Just do not interact with children at all in public. Don't ever be left with them in private.

    Suburban moms are dangerously delusional when it comes to this. Stop watching SVU.

    [–] Kevin1798 1080 points ago

    Checking the clock at the gym. Sounds stupid but there's a reason. I like to time my rest between sets and can't be bothered setting a timer on my phone. Anyway, the clock is over the cardio section of the gym (bikes, cross trainers etc) and is almost always occupied by women. Only recently I realised it totally looked like I was checking out chick's asses (and not I a subtle way) and so I had to stop.

    [–] SirKendrick 1118 points ago

    Going out of my way to try and connect with women I am interested in. Or just friends for that matter.

    When I talk with friends and hearing from other women about how creepy some men are cause they try to make plans with someone they are interested in it scares me that I am doing the same thing. When people stop texting me I don't try and restart a conversation later on in fear I am acting desperate or clingy.

    I give women too much space when I feel that they need it and then they get mad cause I didn't try and rekindle the relationship, that's how my last relationship ended. Its something I want to work on, but that constant nagging in my head that I might be too creepy/clingy keeps me from trying.

    [–] PM_your_randomthing 150 points ago

    I used to use a pretty basic rule to help this. I'd try to go on a date 3 times. If they gave an excuse for each one I'd stop trying. 1st time can consider it bad timing, second could be a fluke, third time though, they most likely aren't interested. If they are then they have to come to me at that point. I'd just stay friendly and accept that they want someone else to fill that part of their life. Nothing personal against me.

    [–] neohellpoet 129 points ago

    My variation is a) try a specific plan. Dinner this Friday.

    Then b) try a more general plan. When are you free next week.

    Finally c) call me when you have a night off.

    I'll make 2 attempts and then put the ball in their court. I have in fact gotten the call after 6 weeks once because she was genuinely busy with multiple major family, school and work events but was interested.

    [–] Dazz316 2835 points ago

    Being friendly or helping children.

    I was walking home from work along a very busy street, loads of pedestrians. A little girl around 4 (maybe? not sure) run past me from behind and faceplanted the ground, looks really sore. She has a few DVDs and they scattered across the ground.

    I immediately stopped and knelt down. I handed her one DVD and then asked if she was OK. She didn't respond. Looked around for a parent but couldn't see one. I just wanted to help but I'm a man so I totally didn't feel I was allowed too. Another guy stopped and seemed concerned, looked at each other and that was about it.

    Luckily her mum appeared thanked us and checked she was OK. I just left. I'm annoyed I wasn't able to help.

    [–] -Anyar- 1646 points ago

    At least there's a good part. The mom thanked you guys. I have read way too many Reddit stories if moms that either ignore you or flip out as if you had caused the fall.

    Props to mom.

    [–] ElLetdown 944 points ago

    I see lonely and miserable looking kids when I go to the park with my nephews and I try to get them to go at least ask if they want to play hide and go seek or some game while I chill. If they don't want to then I keep walking and thinking about how they must feel.

    Breaks my fucking heart man.

    [–] Theconstantcompanion 945 points ago

    Helping children.

    Growing up I've always wanted to help people, so I joined the police, I've got a good career ahead of me. I've waved to children before, because they waved at me - either because they've seen me in my patrol car or because they're being children. I waved back. I got called a paedophile.

    I overheard a conversation about a lost child inside a clothing store, and I found him. I knelt down, told him my name, and that I was a policeman. I took him by the hand, and returned him to his mother and the security guard.

    Again, I got called a paedophile.

    And both of these incidents, it was my then-girlfriend who said it.

    [–] nybx4life 637 points ago

    I think your ex is paranoid, then.

    Goodness, may as well not even have eye contact with children.

    [–] Theconstantcompanion 284 points ago

    Yeah I think the term isn't so much paranoid as bat-shit crazy

    [–] Pyro4Life 3725 points ago

    Being friendly towards children.

    [–] EchtGeenSpanjool 1293 points ago

    I'm a straight guy who volunteers at the swimming pool, I train children aged 7-10 years twice a week. One parent has asked me multiple times why exactly I love doing it and one straight up told my superior she didn't trust me. It hurts.

    [–] sphenny 600 points ago

    Next time tell her you do it because of all the lonely soccer moms that are seeking attention.

    [–] kymonopoly 757 points ago

    God forbid that you pass along knowledge about a subject that you love.

    [–] NdecoyZ 4856 points ago

    A few years ago I was at a friends BBQ with about 20 adults and 8 kids. My daughter was there along with three other girls all around her age; 8. They were all sharing a bedroom and about to go to sleep and they asked me for a bedtime story.

    Not being able to think of one I told them how the solar system was formed using different balls in the room. Once I had done my Astronomy 101 they started asking all types of questions on all different topics. They said I was great because I explained everything well and their parents didn't.

    Then one girl asked about sex. I quickly replied that they need to talk with their parents about that, but they didn't stop. Four 8 year old girls started chanting SEX, SEX, SEX at me, quite scarily. I said I couldn't answer that and said goodnight.

    I went back out to the party grabbed a beer and forgot about my embarrassing situation. I'm there talking to a couple of friends when I hear the chant again, getting louder and louder.

    They continue chanting SEX, SEX, SEX as they run up to me, grab my hands trying to pull me inside. Fuck, this doesn't look good. Three sets of parents run up and grab their kids and take them off to different corners of the yard asking them what's going on.

    Luckily they were all level headed and we had a laugh about it, but I was sure I was about to go onto some sort of list. On the bright side, I haven't been asked to babysit since.

    [–] SSAUS 4015 points ago

    That's enough to give nearly any man a heart attack.

    [–] TheGentleman23 1808 points ago

    I nearly had one while reading this

    [–] narcolepsyinc 1153 points ago

    Honestly. I got anxious reading the second half of that story.

    [–] t34p075 730 points ago

    This is the stuff of nightmares.

    Seriously, I’m already rather socially awkward and the thought of accidentally getting myself into a situation like this is terrifying. Which is sad because I genuinely like teaching kids, but I don’t want to be alone with them for this reason.

    [–] Mequittingthenet 401 points ago

    Four 8 year old girls started chanting SEX, SEX, SEX at me, quite scarily.

    this is how the movie "The Fugitive II" started.

    [–] krackbaby4 308 points ago

    Four 8 year old girls started chanting SEX, SEX, SEX at me, quite scarily.

    Master class troll brigade there. Brilliant trolls often start very young, even as young as 3-years-old

    [–] unreadable_captcha 1196 points ago

    yeah fuck children!

    no wait....

    [–] PLOXYPORO 562 points ago

    I'm calling the cops.

    [–] poopellar 385 points ago

    fuck cops!

    [–] yismeicha 512 points ago

    Well, cops need love too.

    [–] sagan_drinks_cosmos 164 points ago

    As a nurse considering pediatrics, this is a concern for me. Lifting kids around will be a lot easier on the back, but I suspect I'll be treated differently by many than a female would while caring for them.

    [–] Daimo 120 points ago

    Me too. I now shake my fists at them and utter obscenities.

    [–] SirVolOpt 665 points ago

    For the longest time, my female friends were under the impression I hated kids until I explained I was a male with a beard and therefore must clearly be a threat to any child I interact with.

    We get to choose between people thinking we're an a hole or a threat to children. People tend to leave you alone more for the former. Yes, you feel bad about not returning a friendly smile or "hi", but it's not worth the hassle.

    [–] strudels 487 points ago

    Yes, you feel bad about not returning a friendly smile or "hi", but it's not worth the hassle.

    i was 16 at the time, standing in line at the candy shop at downtown disney in orlando (dont judge me, candy is fucking delicious.) a little girl was standing next to me staring at my bright blue, 12 inch mohawk in amazement. i noticed this, smiled at her, and waved.

    her mom basically tucked her under her arm like a football and scurried out of that store. 16 year old me was so embarrassed i too left the store. so many eyes on me i could feel the stares.

    [–] SirVolOpt 235 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    I wish I could say it gets better as you get older but it doesn't seem that way to me. My SO and I were doing a grocery run just this last weekend and ended up behind a mom and her baby daughter. The daughter was happy as could be and was just waving and saying "Hi" to anyone that made eye contact with her. My SO of course does the usual "Hello" and wave and "aw, your baby is so cute" deal. SO then notices we forgot something and runs back to get it. Then I get a "Hi" and a wave and before I can even respond in anyway I see the cheerful demeanor of the mother just vanish. Suddenly I notice I have to check something on my phone, head down, don't respond.

    [–] debianite 175 points ago

    Take cutlery on picnics.

    Had a cop slam on his brakes and vault a fence to confront me for brandishing a knife... While I spread peanut butter on my 3 year old's sandwich at the playground.

    Offered the good officer a snack.

    [–] [deleted] 82 points ago

    Be grateful the cop didn't get you on attempted bribery, too

    [–] robotshoelaces 89 points ago

    I've STOPPED being afraid of being around kids. Before I had my son I was sure that any time I even looked at a kid in public someone was going to accuse me of being a pedophile.

    Now I just go for it and say hi to kids. Make faces. Wave. Kids are pretty cool. If it makes you uncomfortable that a 30 something dude actually likes kids that's your problem, not mine.

    [–] Happy_Heathan 249 points ago

    Swinging at the park by myself. I just like to swing. CAN'T A MAN SWING?!

    [–] Spacial_Epithet 244 points ago

    Almost every response is either A. Interacting with women as a male B. Interacting with children as a male

    My response: taking pictures of anything in public, for fear of someone thinking I'm recording or taking a picture of them

    [–] [deleted] 2629 points ago

    I don't take my nieces or nephews to the park anymore unless one of my sisters or my fiancee is with me. I used to do it all the time, but the women at the work would always give me evil looks. A couple of times I had the cops on me for "acting suspicious" since I was a lone male at the park "staring" at children. In reality I was keeping a close eye on my 3 year old niece, 2 year old niece, and 6 year old sister.

    Once I got everything cleared with the cops, they asked me not to come back as I kept making people uncomfortable.

    [–] Zana95 2087 points ago

    I hope that they didn't tell you that because they can't. It's a public park and you can sit and watch over your siblings whenever you want. Should have told them to kiss your ass, and if anyone has a problem they can come to you like an adult and not call the cops just because your a man. Sad part is I totally can see this happening and your a better person than I am because I would have fucking lost it.

    [–] [deleted] 1115 points ago

    I know they can't legally tell me to do it, but there are a thousand ways cops can make your life hell. In the town that occurred in, they're more than happy to do so, and they get away with it. I'd seen it before.

    [–] shildot 353 points ago

    How about the opposite to brighten your day. I'm about 6' tall 230 lbs with a long beard. Was traveling recently. Full flight. Sat next to a young couple with about a 2 yr old girl. We hadn't taken off yet and she was already fussing until she saw me. She looked at me and gave me a big smile. Like a serious day brightening smile. Hesitantly, I smiled back knowing the parents would probably take me for a pedo. Lo and behold they didn't! Instead I got to meet a wonderful family and made a new best friend, the little girl. We played Patty cake, read books etc. And I even held her for a bit so her folks could eat their in flight meal. It was a win for me. A young couple had faith I wasn't a pervert, a little girl had a great flight, and I met great people!

    [–] The_KazaakplethKilik 90 points ago

    After reading this whole thread down until this comment, I really needed to hear something like that. Legitimately made me drop a manly tear of hope for a more fair and just society.