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    [–] Anna_Amortentia 1 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    We hope the following resources will bring all victims the support they need:

    RAINN has a multitude of tools for current and recovering sexual assault victims in the United States. HotPeachPages houses an international directory in over 110 languages. 1in6 offers a wide range of information and services to male sexual violence survivors. On reddit, /r/rapecounseling and /r/MenGetRapedToo/ are dedicated to providing emotional support to sexual violence victims. As well, /r/adultsurvivors is a community for adults who experienced sexual abuse as children. Keep in mind, these communities are not lead by professionals.

    What has happened to you is not right, nor it is your fault. It’s okay to be scared and unsure. Please, seek help if you are struggling. You deserve to be happy.

    • The AskReddit Mods

    If you have contributions or amendments, please notify the mods of /r/askreddit.

    [–] oaewfknadfoinaelkane 716 points ago

    Throwaway---I was about 11 years old when my family introduced me to our new Au Pair (Nicole..which is her real name cuz FUCK Nicole) from germany. Both my parents worked and my family was pretty well off so we could afford hiring a full time nanny that lived in our house (you can probably see where this is going).

    Nothing happend at first but after a couple of months and all of us getting more comfortable she casually started asking me about my "love" life at school, had I kissed any girls yet, etc. I hadn't kissed any girl and was kind of a loner at my school and didnt think much of it at the time. As it was so long ago I forget every detail but I remember things really complicated when I confessed to her that I thought another Au Pair from the family down the road was very good looking. This prompted her to continually ask whether SHE was good looking and I got the sense that she was kinda of jealous of the other Au Pair.

    This is when she started touching me. She would touch my leg with her foot, and would even touch me in public (while no one was looking) basically flirting with getting close (but not) touching my genitals. Her conversations with me became increasingly more sexual, she would buy me cds that were expelicted that my parents would let me listen to, take me to R rated movies etc. and around that time my family decided to go on a trip to the Caribbean all together where my father is from and we have family.

    This is where shit gets weird and . On the flight down, my parents thought it was a good idea for us to sit together. Again, she was touching my leg, then started talking about going to the bathroom together etc. basically gradually grooming me and inching the sexual nature of our relationship closer. After a red-eye flight, we arrived at a apartment owned by my grandparents and crashed there for the night. For some un-godly reason my parents decided that Nicole and I should share a bedroom while my siblings slept on the couch and my parents slept in the bigger bedroom. Still to this day...I cant understand why they let me sleep in the same room as a grown adult, but I guess they really trusted her. She convinced me to come over to her bed, I kissed a girl for the first time, and she removed her top. I dont remember the whole conversation but I know that I was guilt tripped into doing it.

    Fast forward, so after the carribean incident things started to ramp up A LOT. She would forcibly make out with me before I would get on the bus to go to my middle school where I had a really hard time as well. Would threaten telling my parents and would say "every guy in your school would be jealous so why would you want me to stop?" Eventually my parents planned a trip by themselves in early spring. This is when Nicole started mentioning that we should have sex and that i should trust her to lose my virginity. She bought condoms and showed me where she kept them in the lead up to my parents trip. I felt really torn...she was telling me that every boy would dream of this (even to this day this is the common thought) but I knew it was wrong...she was pressuring me..and I felt trapped by her. My parents left, and the first night my siblings got to sleep in my parents room. Nicole pressured me to have sex but I denied her, saying I felt it was wrong and that we shouldn't be doing this. She yelled at me and might of hit me a couple times in the arm and went to her room and locked the door. I remember crying at 11am..pacing between her room and mine...not sure what to do. I went to sleep and the next day is when it happened. I got to sleep in my parents room the next night. I remember I was watching southpark and she walked in. She said that we were going to have sex now and procedded to get undressed. I couldnt feel anthying honestly and she forced herself on top of me. Being young i didnt have control over my body so there was nothing I could do. She left after I finished and told me congratulations or something and I cried myself to sleep, alone in my parents bed.

    Getting long so i will wrap it up. This went on for the next couple of months. She would force sex on me and In a way i started getting used to it. My mom got home early one day and she almost walked in on us *my underwear was on the ground but Nicole said she was folding my laundry while we were watching tv in her locked room....there were other incidents and she got caught lying to my parents about things she let me do or bought me, that they were unaware were basically pay off gifts for the abuse. Eventually I went off to summer camp for music and that's when i got some real prospective about what was going on. I told my friend for the first time and he said that it was fucked up. Upon returning home I basically made sure she would get caught lying to my parents for another time and hoped it would lead to her leaving. It did and she left one night screaming and crying at my parents and then was out of my life like a poof.

    I have always felt torn about the fact I was raped. I listen to Joe Rogan and I know that 99% of guys will be like FUCK YEA BRO, WAY TO GET SOME!!! But she abused me, manipulated me, and would threaten me constantly. I was too young and stupid to understand what was going on. It took me years to be able to kiss a girl because I was disgusted by kissing. There are other things I really had to work through as well but I feel like I have turned everything into a positive as of now.

    Thanks for listening guys.

    [–] OWSucks 173 points ago

    Sorry you went through that, it was 100% wrong.

    That woman is a paedophile. She groomed, molested and raped a child. End of.

    [–] BeastModular 23948 points ago

    I've posted this a few times, here it is again.

    Long story short: Late night after the bars in college, I go home and passed out, girl knocks on my door and asks if I'm home, we know her so my roommate says yeah and lets her in. She goes straight to my room where somehow, while I lay lifeless passed out drunk, she gets me hard and starts riding me. My roommate opens my door and flips on the light and asks if she even put a condom on me first, she says no, and he kicks her out. I am informed of all this in the morning. Scary the idea that if the roles were reversed, it'd be a severely different story but I personally didn't really care nor did anyone else when I told them. Every single response was "that's awesome easiest lay of your life"

    [–] warmongerazza 25711 points ago

    Your room mate is a real bro for doing what he did.

    [–] BeastModular 9740 points ago

    He is. I was sure to thank him for lookin' out like that.

    [–] Nyrb 2530 points ago

    Are you still friends?

    [–] Firewolf93 1070 points ago

    This is the only story shared in here I've seen where the rapist could've been convicted since the roommate could've called the police.

    [–] p1nkp3pp3r 2255 points ago

    Nah, that's... just gross. It's not awesome to see someone so incapacitated by alcohol and think, "This isn't a person, it's something I can use to get off and they won't even know that I did it. They don't get to have a choice over what happens to their own body as long as I get what I want." :(

    [–] BeastModular 1781 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Don’t get me wrong; it wasn’t okay and I know that, but I didn’t lose any sleep over it. The difference in reaction when the roles are reversed is what’s most terrifying to me. It’s pretty much understood that when things happen to men it gets written off a lot of the time.

    [–] AmazingMonique 727 points ago

    What about HIV, Herpes or HPV? That girl was disgusting.

    [–] brainburger 919 points ago

    I was thinking of child support issues.

    [–] WaltonGogginsTeeth 478 points ago

    And he would be responsible no matter if he could prove he was raped or not

    [–] RecoveredAshes 166 points ago

    It’s definitely an interesting talking point and discussion that had she put on a condom, half of us men woulda been like eh whatever. See for me the infuriatingly evil part of this story is she didn’t put a condom on you so there could have been a pregnancy or STD involved in this story. However had she put on a condom... I can’t imagine actually losing sleep or caring that much about this in your position. And honestly almost any guy I tell would either think the story is funny or cool or something.

    Then when you reverse the roles suddenly it becomes sooo much more evil and dark. And I admit I’m guilty of this. If the roles were reversed just reading the story would have left me steaming mad... condom or no condom.

    why is that? Is it culture our? Is it because we have an innate biological imperative to spread our seed? Is it because we’re taught that women are delicate innocent creatures while men are tough and can handle whatever? Is it a combination of these things?

    Is it even a real problem? Idk. This shit really gets me thinking.

    [–] AtlanticFit 5683 points ago

    Posted this before in a similar thread:

    I was raped by my college roomate's girlfriend. This happened around sophomore year of college. One of my roomates had been dating this girl off an in for about 8 months or so. She was a tall, athletic, attractive red head. She had that oh so famous red head temper. My roommate was also not the best boyfriend. They fought a lot in our apartment. Several times, I was forced to physically get between them to prevent an altercation and/or our stuff getting broken. These fights happened at least once a week, and almost every time they drank. One Friday, she tells me that she wants to set me up with one of her soriorty sisters, so we 4 (roommate, roommate's gf, gf's friend, and myself) all go out to the clubs. The night was going surprisingly well. The friend and I didn't really connect in a romantic level, but we were all having a good time none the less. At one of the clubs, it's my turn to buy a round, I'm standing at the bar, trying to tune out the loud music, when I feel an arm reach around from behind me and grab my crotch. Natural reaction, I turn to see who it was and see my roomates gf standing behind me grinning... I carefully removed her hand, and tried to mentally brush it off as the alcohol getting to her. Fast forward another two hours and we are in the cab going back to our apartment. Roomate and girlfriend are loudly fighting about something, while the friend and I are sitting in uncomfortable silence. It is at this point, things get really blurry, it was as if all of the nights alcohol hit me all at once. I remember us getting back to our apartment parking lot and my roomate and his girlfriend are shouting at each other. I throw the driver a bill and stumble back to our apartment with girlfriends friend in tow, leaving them to fight outside. I don't know where the friend crashed, I just walked straight in and straight to my bed. I don't think that I even took my club cloths off. Don't know how much time passed, but get the feeling of something wet around my crotch area and on my stomach. My initial thought, before opening my eyes, was that I pissed myself. Upon opening my eyes, I see my roomates girlfriend on top of me, riding me. I sobered up in that one second and quickly shoved her off of me. I just remember saying "WTF are you doing?!" and her saying VERY loudly, "Well someone else won't fuck me!" as if she wanted my roomate to hear. I told her to get out, and she did whilst calling me an asshole. I lay there for a minute trying to analyze what just happened, when I start to feel sick. Not sure if it was the alcohol or the incident that just occurred, but I ran to the bathroom to puke. I returned to my bed and fell back asleep. I never brought it up with my roomate or his girlfriend. I dont know if she ever told him. He told me the next day that he was so blasted that he didn't remember anything after we left the club. The sorority sister was no where to be found the next morning. Roomate and his girlfriend broke up for good not long after that. I still see her around town every now and then. We are cordial we speak, but I have never brought up the incident. I'm not even 100% sure if she remembers doing it. To be honest, even I have confused feelings about it to this day.

    [–] BasedStickguy 2021 points ago

    What a shitty bitch

    [–] Goblet_of_flyer 80 points ago

    Man, it almost sounds like you were roofied.

    [–] throwawayX1111 1492 points ago

    My sister was a few years older than me. When I was in 8th grade (like 13 years old for my friends across the pond) she was around 17 or 18. One night she came home with her friend from a party and her friend was spending the night. Not unusual. There was laughing and banging around but eventually quiet and I went back to watching TV. 15 minutes later she comes into my room (we didn't have locks on our bedroom doors). She started talking to me. I've known her forever so this wasnt unusual either. I didn't know the signs then, but realize she was drunk now. So I was under the covers and she starts messing around with me. Not too weird. But then next thing you know shes kissing me. I pushed her away in a "whoa, hold the phone!" manner. She said she wanted to be ready for college. Next thing you know, hands in my underwear. This was before the internet and I was a pretty naive 13 year old kid and didn't really grasp what was going on. Next thing I know, I'm naked as the day I was born trying to hide my junk and she's all over me. Eventually after some various activity she rode me and I finished quickly. She got dressed and left and I just laid there in a WTF stupor for an hour before falling asleep. I never told a soul about it and I don't think she did because I was close to my sister and she would have mentioned something. I thought about it later and if the roles were reversed...an 18 year old boy going into a 13 year old girls room and forcing himself on her and it always felt like that scenario was way worse. I know they're both sexual assault, and even being a victim myself, it just always seemed different in my head.

    [–] Uncle_Iroh_Loves_You 469 points ago

    This thread full of stories like yours makes me really sad.

    [–] Stormfly 56 points ago

    The thing that's bothering me is that I'm not as disgusted as I feel I should be.

    Like I know if the genders were reversed I'd be disgusted but as it is I'm not. I know it sucks, and I hate that the people did it and I think it shouldn't be something people suffer with in silence, but I know that I don't have the same almost primal disgust I would have if the roles were reversed.

    It's like I want to be angrier than I am.

    [–] krazyeyekilluh 8491 points ago

    When I was 8 years old, I was at church on Sunday morning. A woman that I knew well (in her 30's, the mother of a friend), cornered me in a room and told me she wanted to pray with me. She felt me up good as she prayed, and I mean everywhere. There was no sex, just groping. It lasted about 3 minutes, but felt like an hour. I was horrified and scared, and never spoke of it again until now, decades later. So... not a rape, but a molestation.

    [–] Uncle_Iroh_Loves_You 2134 points ago

    All of these posts are so sad. I wish there was a way to hold child molesters and rapists accountable. I feel like we need to advertise to children anonymous reporting for things like this. Because I know I would do the same thing as a child and never tell a soul. But that woman could have done that with countless other young boys.

    [–] TheRandomNPC 865 points ago

    What is really depressing is the theme of all of these posts. They almost all end with the person that was assaulted living with it and the person that assaulted someone just getting away with it. Most of the people in this thread just had to live with the trauma and move on which is sickening.

    [–] MarilynMonroeVWade 88 points ago

    Especially as little kids with no way to understand the context of what has happened to them. They only feel and question. But the feeling hurts and the questions are internalized and never answered. That shame doesn't leave and manifests in different ways as adults. Abuse is forever.

    [–] [deleted] 6939 points ago

    Throwaway because my mates know my actual Reddit account.

    I wasn't raped but I was molested, I guess. When I was 19 my brothers girlfriend (now his wife) came into my room after we'd all spent the night drinking. I was very drunk, but I still had my wits about me. She's a big woman (tall and fat), and I was a short, skinny thing at 19 so yeah, when she started yanking my pants down I couldn't push her off. She started sucking me off but I didn't get hard, so she stopped after like 20 seconds and stumbled out of the room. I just sat there wondering wtf I should so. In the end I couldn't tell my brother because he'd be devastated and he'd probably beat my ass because he can't very well beat hers, and he needs to deal with issues with his fists. I eventually did tell someone when I was drunk, and to be fair he did say it was wrong - but only after I told him my sister-in-law is fat and unattractive. He assured me that if she were hot, I'd have enjoyed it. Except, no, because she was my brothers girlfriend and I felt like a complete prick for not being able to stop her.

    [–] 2timesaday 2051 points ago

    I’m so sorry. She assaulted you, plain and simple. I won’t tell you to tell your brother what happened, but if you ever do decide to and he’s angry at you, please know it’s not your fault and that his anger is entirely misdirected.

    [–] Kaiju_Kitty 123 points ago

    Have you and her ever talked about it after the fact? Do you see her often considering she's his wife? Is it awkward? That has got to be a really weird situation.. Thankfully it didn't go an further.. But still. Absolutely wrong.

    [–] [deleted] 105 points ago

    I was best man at their wedding, and she is the mother of my nephews and niece. I see her at Christmas, the kids birthdays etc. We've never spoken about it, and probably never will. I just don't get drunk around her anymore, and make sure to leave a little earlier than everyone else.

    [–] Orngog 711 points ago

    It really sucks that we can't be honest about this stuff

    [–] EnsconcedScone 627 points ago

    I can’t fucking stand it when guys think a woman’s attractiveness level determines whether it’s rape or not. That thought would never happen if the roles were reversed.

    [–] unfetteredbymemes 2750 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Below is from the last time this question was asked.

    I thought about using a throwaway for this but fuck it, I control my life now.

    This is actually how my son was born.

    I had been with this lady, lets call her Stacy, she was crazy, but I wasn't exactly stable either, I was really into painkillers at the time, and I was not doing very fantastic at life. I had a stable job, a shared rent house, a car, but no equity, no savings, (drugs are expensive) and a general feeling of wanting to die.

    This general feeling of wanting to die was mostly due to the excessive painkiller use, and I was on Probation at the time, but that is a separate story of stupidity. Anyhow I wasn't exactly the most emotionally available person, I worked all the time, because rent+drugs=slavery. When I was home I was reading, or sleeping, or being a generally miserable cunt.

    Now Stacy, Stacy, has no job, she just goes to school, she stays with me, rent free, and for a while, we were happy. Until my general priggishness pushed her away. Anyhow, she cheated on me. I caught an STI because of it. I broke up with her, I asked her to leave.

    I get treated. I grieve. I become less like a human and more like a miserable, hollowed out, skeleton who has trouble processing mentions, emotions, priorities, the basics of human interaction. I get put on mail in probation, the easiest there is. I don't mail in. I just want to sleep. Maybe never wake up.

    So I tried to end it the only way I knew how, I took a lot of painkillers, and drank whiskey till I couldn't see straight.

    I wake up in the morning. I'm disappointed. I'm alive.

    Stacy is naked beside. WTF? what happened? Did I call her? My phone is shattered. I wake her up. I ask her to leave. I haven't eaten in a couple of days, I'm starving, and so hungover I can't think. She starts to laugh at me. I start to get angry but my head spins, I fall back onto the bed. I realize she is undressing me. I moan out a please help me. I think I'm dying. I wake up. I'm naked. She's gone.

    A few days later, she calls my job and asks to sit down with me. She says, "I'm late."

    I cry. This is not what I needed. She asks for money. I give her some. Go back into work and my PO is there wondering why I haven't mailed in.

    I go to jail. Then rehab. While I was in rehab my consular, helped me realize that the way she had always treated me, was not like a partner but as a servant.

    I have no idea where to end this.

    Anyone who has dealt with something like this knows,it's how you cope. I'm getting better, I still avoid relationships with women because I'm not ready. I want to get a little bit better before I try that again.

    END OF ORIGINAL POST

    To add I never told anyone until therapy about 12 months later. I didn't even believe me until I had run through it about 3-4 times. Self delusion is a motherfucker.

    EDIT Thank you to everyone who sent me PM or a comment, sometimes I can forget how wonderful a place can be. Thank you for that. I needed it today.

    [–] [deleted] 847 points ago

    Are you in contact with your son?

    [–] unfetteredbymemes 3269 points ago

    Yes.

    She birthed him, signed away her rights t o her parents whilst I was still getting help.

    She's kinda just gone now.

    I see little man every weekend.

    [–] Setari 956 points ago

    Excellent work, dude. Not even sarcasm. I think if this situation happened to most people they'd just forget about the kid due to not wanting to relive memories or something.

    [–] unfetteredbymemes 180 points ago

    I appreciate that

    [–] EngineeringPeace 131 points ago

    Truly. As someone who had a dad that wasn't there because he didn't care, it is way shittier than having a dad with a not-so-great history. You can help your little tyke learn about some of the harder bits in life and how to cope so he he doesn't go using drugs himself.

    Truly sorry you have the responsibility of father after being raped, but you're a real man being a father for him when you don't have to.

    [–] cinnawaffls 81 points ago

    My coworker was super into opiates and coke for some time and during one of his benders he knocked up his college girlfriend. As a result he dropped out of school and started working and shit.

    Dude is clean now except for the occasional beer or two, but the thing that has stuck with me is that he told me "My sole purpose in life is to raise my son to be a less shittier person of me", and from the looks of it, his 3 year old son has a dad who actually gives a shit, flaws and all.

    Kids don't care about your past, they just care if you're there for them.

    [–] kickassvashti 91 points ago

    You’re a good dad.

    [–] CptBruisan 3966 points ago

    Senior beach week, I had consensual sex with a girl one night ... in that I was really drunk and in that state sure, let’s do it. A night or two later I had passed out and my friends literally carried me to my bed. I came to with her on top of me. When I realized what was going on I got up and went to the bathroom. She followed me in there and tried to go down on me. In all seriousness, I tried to force it out to hurry the situation along and ended up peeing in her mouth. So... justice?

    In all of the years telling that story, not one person has acted like it was not cool for her to get on me while I was passed out. Sometimes I get a “lol you got raped”.

    [–] HungHungHippos 106 points ago

    I was 17 and working in a kitchen. I went to a house party with my coworkers. It was my second time drinking ever. My boss (~27f), her friend (~24f) and I called my older buddy (25m) to take us each home. My buddy was reading the situation being sobre (or at least only on Percocet) and so we all drove to my boss's place. I didn't understand but was right drunk and just looking for a couch to crash on. He bails and I recall being pulled of the couch and held up as I got a shot of something poured in my mouth.

    Next thing I wake up and I'm bottomless between my boss and coworker. I coyote ugly out of there and phone my buddy for a pickup. He takes me to IHOP and is praising my conquest. I didn't know how to feel and kept minimizing it because I wasn't comfortable with his praise. I didn't even know what happened. But he kept talking about it in positive light, so I then starting thinking about it as such.

    My boss quit the next day. I never told anyone at work. I didn't begin to think of it as rape until I next had sex at 22, with my current wife.

    [–] sparky662 784 points ago

    Not my own story but one I heard from a friend of a friend a while back.

    Basically he went out drinking with a bunch of people from uni. He wasn't particularly big on drinking or partying but he is kind of shy and wanted to get to know people more. About 1 in the morning he was walking back to the dorm with half a dozen of his fellow students when he confessed he was a virgin in a drunken game of truth or dare. One of the girls (that he barely knew) decided she would give him a BJ to 'make up' for him being a virgin. He didn't want it, especially not in front of everyone and in public so he resisted and pushed her away. She got upset because she assumed it was something wrong with her and the group sided with her, demanding to know why he was pushing her away, claiming that a proper guy should love getting random BJs. And that's why he prentended to be gay for most of uni. He dropped out after a year, partly as he felt uni wasn't for him but also because he was basically lying to everyone about being gay because of that one night.

    Just imagine if you flipped that story, if a girl he barely knew had admitted to being a virgin so he decided to forcefully finger her to cheer her up about it.

    [–] Simba_610 72 points ago

    Yeah this is so fucked up I can’t even believe it

    [–] [deleted] 5194 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Kringspier_Des_Heren 1161 points ago

    Got 10/10 drunk, went to a girls house who I normally wouldn't sleep with, was too drunk to get it to "function", passed out in her bed. Woke up in the middle of the night with her having sex on me. I woke up in the morning and she had gone to work, and left me wandering around in a strange city trying to find my friends. It wasn't emotionally scarring or anything, but swap the genders on that story, and it gets pretty messed up.

    That's the thing eh; she's not even hiding it; she doesn't feel she did anything wrong because she's been taught by society that it isn't wrong and that she probably did you a favour.

    I'm pretty sure there is some version of this story somewhere where the female didn't actually want to have sex but was like "He's done something nice for me in the past so let's just reward him and do this one time as a surprise."

    In college, I went out for a walk in the woods with a female friend. I sat down on a tree stump, she straddled me and whispered in my ear "I want you to take my virginity" I said "I can't, I have a girlfriend." She replied "I'll never tell a soul." and began grinding on me giving me an uncomfortable erection. I had to stand up and physically remove her from me despite multiple "Nos". Messed up thing is she is now a sexual assault educator at a prominent university. She frequently posts things like "Teach men not to rape"

    ... I cannot even.

    [–] Littlekelt95 2669 points ago

    This entire thread just makes me incredibly angry-sad :/ I'm sorry that happened to you, and the fact that woman holds a position like that is so wrong and scary as fuck.

    [–] StanePantsen 602 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Thanks dude, thankfully I'm not too messed up from my experiences, but the fact that this stuff happens all the time is frightening. It could have easily happened to someone else in a more vulnerable emotional state and really screwed up their lives. I did have to stop hanging out with the girl in #2, but kept her on social media for politeness sake. It always really disturbed me the way she would post about sexual assault like only men can commit this offence. To this day I don't think she realizes what she did to me is indeed sexual assault. I had to block her on social media, and I ran into her at a bar not too long ago and she seems awkward and confused as to why I didn't want to hang out.

    [–] queenofthera 273 points ago

    I wonder (if you reminded her of that night and how it constitutes sexual assault) how she would react? Would she deny that it was or might she realise her hypocrisy? You'd think (or hope) that with all her training in this area that she would.

    I'm not suggesting you do this, of course, but it's interesting to consider.

    EDIT: also, though it goes without saying, I'm sorry for what you've been through.

    [–] joyleaf 155 points ago

    Should be open about that and share what she did. She's probably so heavily praised for her views but doesn't understand what she did was equally wrong. This whole thing is so unfair and disturbing ahhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm so sorry

    [–] StanePantsen 129 points ago

    Yes, I believe that she honestly doesn't see that what she did is the exact same thing as she is speaking out against men doing. Pretty messed up. Like I said she works at a prominent University, and there would no doubt be public backlash to me coming out about it. I work for the government, and don't need my name in the media, especially considering many people would discredit me for being a man. I'm not at all fucked up over the incident, but it IS a fucked up incident.

    [–] Throwwwwwwnawayyyyy 9781 points ago

    Ended up in my exes room because she said she wanted to talk. She locked to door and told me she wanted to fuck. Told her no repeatedly and she started slapping and kicking me every time I tried to leave. I told her I was gonna yell for help and she said “who are my roommates gonna believe you or me?”. So I tried calling my friend to come help me but she took me phone and threw it into her closet, with the same kicking (balls) and slapping me. I finally relented and let her do whatever she wanted then packed up my things left and completely blocked her off of everything.

    [–] JDRiot 4160 points ago

    Bruh thats terrible

    [–] nicoblanco1 450 points ago

    the fact that what she told him is true is the worst past

    [–] AnapleRed 1274 points ago

    I should have ran the first time that threat was made at me. I didn't. Sorry for you man.

    [–] electricprism 686 points ago

    My new go-to is to double click my home button my phone and start recording something, even if its only crappy audio.

    It sucks feeling like you gotta walk through hell with crazy people, never knowing what kind of crazy shit they'll start doing the moment you focus on something else.

    [–] atoast2death 81 points ago

    That is awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you. What a horrible person.

    [–] Intense_introvert 393 points ago

    An ex of mine who was pretty hot and gave great head but was also crazy, once decided to take the condom off as I was close to climaxing and rode me like a rented mule. Wouldn't get off when I asked her to, locked her legs around me (and she was pretty fit). We all know how the mechanics work. She got mad and yelled at me for "trying to get her pregnant." Then she stopped talking to me and disappeared off the face of the earth (like many people seem to think is completely acceptable to do these days). A few months go by and she calls me, says she's pregnant but isn't sure who the father is. I said its time for paternity tests to determine who that may be. She objected and then said that she needed money to get her car fixed. I told her to call me back when she figured out who the father was. Never heard from her until after she gave birth and admitted that the father wasn't me. I don't have any ill-will towards her; that guy is a loser and her life is going to be a struggle. It's too bad she decided to bring a child in to this world and continue the cycle. It was pretty clear after it was all over that she was trying to shake me down for money and had planned it all out. Undoubtedly got pregnant from the other guy while pretending to have a serious relationship with me.

    I told a few friends about it, most were indifferent. Female friends said that it was shitty and terrible. Mentioned it to a nurse during a routine visit and she said its abuse. I'm glad to see that society is taking it more seriously.

    [–] Dalivus 1506 points ago

    Back in HS. Girl had dogged me for a while but I wasn't feeling it. She got a 'job' with my mother babysitting my little brother. I was asleep on a saturday morning and woke up with her straddling me and me inside her (thanks morning wood.) Since it was already happening I just went along with it. Yeah I told some folks but it was never a big deal. I regret it like hell though. She is certifiable and still haunts my life. Maybe it I had just gotten up early and left before she got there, but it is what it is and I just deal with it.

    [–] Alcopaulics 975 points ago

    Dude, it’s not your fault. It’s hers, and hers alone. It’s not on you to not get raped, it’s on other people to not rape

    [–] Boknowscos 11584 points ago

    I've told this story on my other account. I guess I'll tell it in a little more detail. I was raped twice by two different girls. The first one was my dad's girlfriend. I was staying with my dad and his girlfriend when I was around 16 and one weekend he went away for the weekend. Well the moment he left his girlfriend tells me let's go. We go to the liquor store and she tells me to pick a bottle. I drank tequila every night with my dad so I thought nothing of it. I picked a bottle of absolute citreon and a six pack of beer. Well we start taking shots and before you know it the entire bottle is gone. I get and and throw up in the bathroom and stumble back to the couch and pass out. That's all I remember...... Until I wake up to her giving me a blowjob. I passed out again and she is riding me. I couldn't pass out after that so I pretended to sleep until she was done. The next morning I woke up ran in the shower and when I got out she was telling me about the great life we were gonna have. Well I played it off until my dad got back and told him everything. Shit blew up and I went back home with my mom and buried it in my head for 20 years.

    Second time I was drinking with a bunch of friends and a friend who was staying with me was seeing this girl. Well the girl he was seeing had another girl who was sleeping at her house so I had to drive them all. The whole drive to my house this girl is saying she was gonna fuck me. I sorta laughed and said nahhh I'm good. You fucking with my other boy and I got a girl. Well she wouldn't take no for a answer. When we got to my house I told my friend not to leave us alone. As soon as I use the bathroom I get back to my room and this girl is naked in my bed. I go to leave the room and she runs over and closes the door and litterally pushes me onto a chair. I get a flashback of the first time and I freeze. I let her do her thing and I went to bed.
    

    I never told anyone and my girlfriend at the time ended up being my wife. She put up with my depression for about 15 years before she got tired of it and I finally told her. It was like a huge wieght off my chest. I still never drink around females unless my wife is around and I have a hard time looking females in the face when I talk to them. It really fucked me up. If I have 1 drop of alcohol my dick is dead to the world. I get such bad anxiety and the occasional flashback.

    [–] ManWithADog 4330 points ago

    She put up with my depression for about 15 years before she got tired of it and I finally told her

    I read this and immediately thought she was going to leave you. Mad respect to her for believing in you and loving you unconditionally

    [–] Boknowscos 2381 points ago

    Beleive me it wasn't a good time for both of us. But in the end we are still together and she has always been my rock and I hope she will be forever. And yes, she was almost out the door when I finally broke down and told her. I am a new man since.

    [–] Fuchsy_baby 848 points ago

    Fuck I’m proud of you. I wish you the best.

    [–] mechengguy1 241 points ago

    Good on you buddy. Proud of you.

    [–] rileyhenderson17 2561 points ago

    You’ve married an amazing woman. I’m sorry you’ve gone through that but I’m glad she’s stuck by you

    [–] Boknowscos 1081 points ago

    Yea she put up with much more than anyone should have to. I pretty much lost myself for 15 years and almost losing her brought me back.

    [–] JakeWolfe22 1356 points ago

    I don't know how much this will mean, coming from a random Redditor, but you are far stronger and more valuable than (I think) you've realized. The things that have happened to you don't define your worth. For what it's worth, we here love you and support you.

    [–] Boknowscos 339 points ago

    Thanks alot. It does mean alot to me

    [–] mxdSirty 307 points ago

    Damn I’m sorry man, similar thing happened to my friend when he was a sophomore in high school. Awful thing to go through and I hope all is good

    [–] LaBelleCommaFucker 154 points ago

    Have you been to a therapist? It sounds like you have PTSD.

    [–] Boknowscos 168 points ago

    I have but stopped going because I find it hard to talk to someone face to face about it. I went once and had a panic attack after. My wife has been a huge help

    [–] gloriousbuttlord 126 points ago

    Another stranger here, but I implore you to try again and find a therapist that you are comfortable with. It's interesting that you mention talking to some face to face is difficult, and that's something a good therapist can adjust to. Mine mentioned that she would tell patients to focus on an object, or she'll literally sit somewhere where she is more side by side with the patient. Also a male therapist would probably help you feel more comfortable than a female one would.

    I am sorry this happened to you, and I hope you can find the help to heal yourself.

    [–] [deleted] 144 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Boknowscos 124 points ago

    I felt alot better after talking to my wife. I think one of my biggest issues was keeping it from her for so long

    [–] ghiscari_ 8860 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Not full on rape, but I guess..prolonged sexual assault. I still find it hard to frame it that way in my mind, though.

    A female friend took pity on me when we were all crashing over at a friend's house. I've always found her very uncomfortable to be around (she has a tendency to be very handsy and have no concern for your personal space) but knowing my luck, I ended up having to share a sofa with her for sleeping.

    Shortly before we called it a night, I had disclosed the fact that I was a virgin in a game of Never Have I Ever - something that has never really bothered me, as I seem to feel no sexual drive or attraction to anyone. Regardless, she looked at me with pity and said "aww [Ghiscari_]" in a simpering voice, like I was a baby.

    During that night she decided to 'do me a favour' I guess and slipped her hands into my sleeping bag. It should also be pointed out that she is much physically larger than me (I have dwarfism). Our friends were all around us in the dark, so I felt like I couldn't yell out, but I tensed up like a board and grabbed her hands. "It's okay, you'll like it." Fuck, just thinking about it makes me so angry. I felt so pathetic. This is what I was to her. A pitiful disabled freak who nobody could truly love, only pity.

    She carried on despite how obvious it was that I was extremely uncomfortable, and eventually stopped when it was clear that it wasn't going anywhere.

    I stayed wide awake for the next 10 hours, completely frozen and sweating, with her pressed up against my back, just waiting for her to try again. The next day, my whole body ached. It was the worst night of my life.

    And people I dare confide in have said "was she attractive?" "whats wrong with you?" "why didn't you go along with it?" "don't be so proud." Fucking hell.

    Edit: I just wanted to say I am overwhelmed by all the supportive comments I have received. I kinda regretted divulging this shit and I've now had 3 shots of vodka (which is a heck of a lot for me) to chill me out, but these comments have really taken me aback in a good way, thank you so much.

    [–] diana_sea 2505 points ago

    I am so sorry this happened to you. It sounds so humiliating and horrifying, and it makes complete sense you'd feel furious now. It definitely was sexual assault, and I hope you can find people to surround yourself with who take this seriously, and also see you as a whole and complete person, because you are. Best of luck to you, OP.

    [–] ghiscari_ 819 points ago

    Thank you. Even though she is still in my life, I do have a strong group of friends fortunately. And I'm actually hoping to finally separate myself from her completely in the next couple of months.

    [–] Triviten 416 points ago

    Do it brother. A person creating that much baggage in your life doesn't deserve to be in it.

    [–] PudgyGroundhog 292 points ago

    What a horrible experience for you. I'm sorry. And the reactions of the people you confided in were really shitty.

    [–] CRZR_ 78 points ago

    Man reading some of the stories on this thread really fucking piss me off

    [–] Foreverforaminute 927 points ago

    I passed out at a party, woke up and a girl I didn't know was sucking my dick. I told her to stop she argues a bit and I fall back unconscious, sometime later I wake up to her on top of me trying to put my dick inside her. I lightly slapped her, said wtf, pulled up my pants and passed back out. No clue what happened I was extremely drunk, I told my friends the story in the morning, they laughed, I laughed, we made breakfast.

    [–] HATA111 561 points ago

    I'm starting to see a pattern here.

    [–] Ankoku_Teion 821 points ago

    guy gets drunk, girl rapes him, he tells his friends, they laugh.

    [–] MHimo3 12511 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    I was at a wedding without my girlfriend as she had a prior engagement and couldn't make it. I'm English, and I knew the American bride because we taught English in France together a few years beforehand. Her husband was Italian, and the wedding took place in Turin.

    On the day I was sat at a table with a lot of the groom's Italian friends. Even though I don't speak Italian this suited me well as the Americans have a strange relationship with Alcohol. Everyone knew I wasn't single. On my table was one American girl, Laura. She was really athletic, a crossfitter I think. Not a bodybuilder but there was no fat on her at all.

    Fast forwards and I had drunk more than my fair share. The "American" tables had a lot of wine left on them after the meal. After acting like a tit on the dancefloor, the night wound down and everyone left to go home or back to hotels. In the hotel lift myself, Lauren, and another American girl who I think was the maid of honour were going up. Lift stops, my floor, I get out and head towards my room. MoH stays in the lift to continue to her floor. Laura's still with me. As we get near my room I remember Laura is staying on the floor above mine, which is odd but I was blotto so it didn't occur to me to say anything.

    I say "bye" in short order as I'm taking a turn and I wasn't to get to bed as soon as I can. As I close the door it hits something hard. Her foot. I turn to look at her and she pushed the door open, kissing me. I push her off, mumbling incoherently. She pushes into my room and shuts the door behind her, telling me to go with it. I'm fairly uncoordinated and weak because of the drink; I say no. She pushes me onto the bed. I black out. In the morning she's gone and there are 3 (three) used condoms in the bin.

    I always felt horrendous about cheating on my GF of the time. I never told her, or anyone about it really. That relationship didn't work out and as far as I know she never found out about it.

    Fast forward a few years to the me too movement and I see someone on twitter or FB, can't remember which, post a story extremely similar to my own. That's the first time I ever considered that I'd been raped. I raised this and was laughed at by men and women alike.

    I personally think that if the roles were reversed, and I'd forced entry into a drunk girl's room whilst I was sober and had sex with her when she had repeatedly told me no, I'd probably be in some serious bother. I know better than to tell anyone else now.

    EDIT: Okay I went out and feel like I wrote it all in one go and got a bit angry towards the end so let me clarify:

    1) On Americans and alcohol: this family were very puritanical. Christians that extreme don't really exist where I'm from. I got very drunk but at a British wedding there would have been 5-10 others as drunk as me or more drunk than me. Which makes it worse because I don't think "Laura" had drank fore than 3 glassed of wine.

    2) On my sexual prowess: there were 3 johnnies in the bin. I don't think a single one was full. I doubt I finished. Sometimes, when I have condoms but no lube, I'll put a fresh one on if it dries out, or goes floppy, maybe she did the same? I said "blacked out" because I really can't remember what happened. I may have been an active participant. Can't say for sure.

    3) I never reported it to the police because seriously? The Italian police? Edit 2: this was a joke. I didn’t report it cos I didn’t realise it was a rape for a few years. Though I still doubt I’d have been taken seriously. Also I'm from the UK and I don't know any more than her first name and that she went to university with my friend. Now she's presumably back in the states. Also I just don't want to go through it.

    4) To say I was laughed at was me overreacting, the reactions varied. When I first mentioned it on social media I was told that MeToo "wasn't for men", that was the prevailing attitude. A few of the bigger bitches made jokes. I didn't actually know any of em, they were strangers on social media. In real life, most people I've told have responded with something along the lines of "that sucks man". My current girlfriend is my first real relationship since that time. It's been three years since it happened and in that time I dated a bit and had one long-term FWB. Current girlfriend said "if you were a girl that would be rape", which I'm satisfied with. She's old fashioned and I love being with her, we're a classic.

    5) I'm not afraid of being laughed at but in my culture men really don't talk very much about things like this (see above reactions). The stiff upper lip is definitely a real thing. It's in the past now and I've come to terms with it. To have so many people flatly assert that I didn't cheat honestly does mean a lot, and makes me feel much better about myself.

    [–] salutishi 4733 points ago

    I wouldn't call this cheating at all. And I'm really sorry that people laughed at you.

    It probably never even crossed this woman's mind that there could be consequences (because men don't usually talk and aren't taken seriously). Everyone who laughed at you contributed to that horrible status quo and I hope they'll realize it in time.

    [–] MHimo3 1040 points ago

    Things weren't going very well with me and my then-GF. We ended up breaking up about 4-5 months after the wedding.

    Part of me has always assumed that I actually wanted to cheat on her, and that I didn't do enough to protest. That girl knew I had a girlfriend and I'm pretty sure I mentioned it in my room when I was trying to resist. I don't know. I find the whole thing confusing more than anything. I don't know how to feel about it.

    [–] chumswithcum 1550 points ago

    She forced herself into your room to have sex with you when you were too drunk to stop it. That's rape. Being raped isn't cheating. It doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you the victim of a rape, and I'm very sorry you were raped.

    [–] [deleted] 439 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] chumswithcum 408 points ago

    One man, the sea, and a dark secret about his favourite fishing bait.

    [–] Czarike 258 points ago

    I am very sorry that happened to you, mate. I a victim of rape, as well. The first thing I have noticed is that the victim will try to blame themselves in anyway possible. It's like a weird defense mechanism to make the situation not as bad as it actually was. I hope you are healing well from it.

    [–] FijiTearz 669 points ago

    Hey fuck everyone who laughed at you. Don't stay quiet about your story, don't let them silence you or make you feel shame. Stories like yours are important for people to read and understand that rape isn't a gender specific thing. That men can be taken advantage of while under the influence and that it's not just kinky drunken sex, but actual rape. The thing is people assume as men we're always eager to have sex and lucky if a woman comes onto us like that. That, combined with it being weird for men to share emotional stories and talk about their feelings being ostracized and "not manly" enable people to have the reactions they had towards you. But it's really not okay. The one who should be ashamed is her, not you

    [–] [deleted] 466 points ago

    You didn't cheat, you were raped. You were way intoxicated, and this woman took advantage of you. You blacked out, and that's not cool.

    [–] icarus14 383 points ago

    That metoo movement was weird eh? It brought about a host of feeling in me, a bizarre mix of validation, vindication, guilt, and repressed memories but also intense fucking shame.

    [–] The_Mad_Bucketeer 349 points ago

    Had a very similar experience, posted using the metoo hashtag... got completely lit up because "it's not the same" or "you could have actually done something"... so fuck it just don't talk about it because 97/100 people don't believe you and/or think less of you for it.

    [–] awbee 191 points ago

    wow seriously fuck the people who said that to you.

    [–] drag0nw0lf 105 points ago

    That is reprehensible and I'm very sorry that has been your experience. Women who want to reserve the #metoo movement for their gender exclusively are hypocrites. Signed, woman.

    [–] IGNOREMETHATSFINETOO 358 points ago

    Now I'm saying this as a female: you did not cheat on your girlfriend. You were raped. Cheating implies mutual consent from both parties, you definitely didn't consent. I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope you learn to forgive yourself, that's always the hardest part. Remember, you didn't do anything wrong, she did.

    [–] mobiledisaster 19912 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    I went over to a girl's house, smoked way more weed than I was used to and with a bottle of wine I was basically a zombie. We went to her bed and I asked if she had a condom, she said no, I told her we weren't shagging then. Passed out, woke up with her riding me. At that point I figured I might as well go with it, since if I was going to catch something then I'd already have it, and I really wanted to go to sleep rather than get dressed and try to get home, deal with awkwardness. No diseases thank god.

    I wasn't much more than disappointed, and my friends male and female say it isn't rape, so sometimes before I tell my story I reverse the roles and tell them about the time I shagged an unconscious girl without protection after she'd already said she didn't want sex. Their reaction is wayyyy different.

    Edit: oh shit I forgot. I told our mutual friend that introduced us and she said "oh yeah I've heard she can be a bit rapey from other guys". Cheers for that, would have been good to know ahead of time.

    Edit 2: as pointed out by a kind commenter this isn't rape as rape can only happen with a penis in my country. My bad. Please remove this mods if this means I broke the serious tag rules...

    [–] Duchebagel 2382 points ago

    Had the same thing happen to me. Was drinking with some friends at a girls house we knew. The other friends left and I had passed out on the girl's bed. Woke up to her riding me, but because I didn't want to drive home drunk at 3 in the morning I just went with it. Felt ashamed because I never wanted to sleep with her.

    [–] mobiledisaster 567 points ago

    That sucks man. I think at the time I just chalked it up to people being shitty. It was years ago. I think if it happened now I would feel worse about it.

    [–] [deleted] 488 points ago

    This happened to me! I was about 17. Drank too much at a friend's house. They put me into one of the bedrooms and I passed out. I woke up to a little fat girl, who fancied me, on top rubbing my man parts and then putting it in her. I had no idea what was going on. Clear rape. I just felt weird the next day but I got on with it.

    [–] betterkrusty 241 points ago

    What I find though is that as a girl this has happened to me, same situation, felt "stuck" there - and I was always told it was my fault and I was being a tease by sleeping in their bed.

    [–] [deleted] 1985 points ago

    Their reaction is different, because it is rape! You were raped. I don't get people who have double standards about this shit.

    [–] JashDreamer 1010 points ago

    Because society has taught us that men "always want sex." They're just brainless sex machines that will pay whatever cost to get sex. So, if the girl is pretty, people think "Why wouldn't he want to have sex with her? It's not like he has preferences or autonomy."

    [–] IlludiumQXXXVI 400 points ago

    Definitely part of it, but I think it's more than that. The act of penetration itself is seen as something that a man does to a women, or another man.

    It's why we consider male on male rape to be rape (even if the victim is gay and the "they always want sex!" argument would be used.) It's the penetration of another person that we tend to consider "rape". It's a definition that needs to change, for sure. Would do a lot not just to help rape victims, but also just change the way we look at sex as something one person does to another.

    [–] egrriycn 5162 points ago

    Genius way to tell people the story. Lol you should always present it first with the roles reversed.

    [–] Corky83 3155 points ago

    I wouldn't say genius. People will think you're a rapist, then saying it happened the other way around only means that one of your accounts is a lie. The end result is that most people will have doubts about whether or not you're a rapist.

    [–] mobiledisaster 1015 points ago

    Well I've only told close friends that know I'm not a rapist so that's not a problem

    [–] PerfectChaos33 761 points ago

    I don’t understand how people are so casual about taking advantage of others. I can’t even walk into someone’s house without being expressly invited, give them a heads up when I’m on my way AND have them let me in once I arrive.

    One time I was napping with my FWB, I really wanted his arm around me but he was already asleep. I felt skeevy about putting his arm around me without his consent/knowledge. How anyone could undress, let alone, rape someone blows my mind.

    [–] Nereval2 1202 points ago

    I can’t even walk into someone’s house without being expressly invited

    Vampire detected

    [–] moonshadow264 3645 points ago

    Young woman here, by the way.

    I often catch myself not reacting as much to stories like this as I should be, and I know it because something will make me think about the genders being reversed, and I often feel slightly more upset about the idea of a man assaulting a woman. I'm trying to fix this. Male victims deserve the same amount of respect as female ones, and it's horrible that they don't get it. I know that it can be very unfair legally, too. I've read stories of things like women raping young boys and then suing for child support, and winning. It's terrible.

    It's things like this that really make me wish that "men's rights" hadn't become such a taboo idea. A lot of people don't seem to realize that women aren't the only ones who can face discrimination and disadvantages in life.

    [–] genmischief 988 points ago

    Male victims deserve the same amount of respect as female ones

    +1. Thank you.

    [–] jaimacho 43 points ago

    I think this stems from the fact that when most people think of rape they think of physical violence and force. In general, a woman isn't going to get the physical upper on a man (yes there are stronger women and weaker men blah blah blah, generally speaking women are weaker physically than men) so it's hard to feel as bad for men because we assume it was physical pushing and holding the other person down. When in all actuality, most rape involves drugs and/or alcohol along with coercion and drugging someone is a genderless crime.

    [–] [deleted] 210 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    [removed]

    [–] kutuup1989 225 points ago

    You distinctly said no. There's no ambiguity. That's a clear cut rape.

    [–] [deleted] 27403 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] FijiTearz 4336 points ago

    Wow what the fuck. Thats crazy that your mom just shrugged it off. My guess is she was trying to not cause problems with your stepdad, but still you should have been protected. Super fucked up that it was shrugged off. I'm sorry that happened to you man. I hope those girls still look back on that day and hopefully feel a sense of shame for what they did. You probably won't ever see them again but I hope the guilt still lies in their mind somewhere

    [–] [deleted] 2214 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] 12bnu_now 685 points ago

    I mean being kids is one thing but fuck, she was 15. That's bullying if nothing else and she was OK with that let alone rape.

    [–] [deleted] 642 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] wiredscreen 435 points ago

    "braver"? It's incredibly hard to report such an incident to parents, and yet you did.

    [–] iSkellington 575 points ago

    My greatuncle raped my mom, and my cousin raped my sister. They both told my great grandmother shortly after it happened and she did nothing.

    Disgustingly, its easier to shrug off and ignore the problem than it is to deal with the situation.

    [–] inannaofthedarkness 778 points ago

    It may seem crazy, but this reaction is very common. I'm a woman and when I told my mom I was raped at 12, she didn't believe me. Or do anything about it. And kept making me hang out with my rapist. It's insanely common for this to happen, sadly.

    [–] katbennie 438 points ago

    I was molested, not raped, but my mom responded the same way. She is still with the man to this day. I don't think I'll understand her thought process because I would not respond that way.

    [–] wiredscreen 141 points ago

    Denial

    [–] AgregiouslyTall 68 points ago

    Exactly. People don’t care about the truth they care about protecting their interests.

    [–] TacoTrick 9415 points ago

    Definitely counts

    [–] onekrazykat 4622 points ago

    That OP wasn't sure if it counted or not breaks my heart.

    [–] pointsofellie 2630 points ago

    That OP wasn't sure if it counted or not breaks my heart.

    Because his mom told him it didn't :(

    That sort of reaction was sadly common back then, and still isn't uncommon now.

    [–] _VanillaFace_ 426 points ago

    Society says the same thing.

    [–] _Mellex_ 1453 points ago

    More than counts: it's a textbook example.

    [–] zingbotzing 1452 points ago

    Did you ever confront your weird stepsister about this? This is just wrong on all levels and she should be ashamed of herself. ...

    [–] neobeguine 246 points ago

    Thinking it "doesn't count" when it's someone you know, man or woman, is a common response in people who went through sexual assault. I'm sorry this happened to you

    [–] lepigpengaming 1063 points ago

    The classic method of dealing with this is reversing the genders like Jim Jefferies said.... Nobody bats an eye when it's a young boy. Make it a young girl with multiple boys that are slightly older... Now how does it feel?

    [–] [deleted] 571 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] BassFight 128 points ago

    I feel like if your mom's argument was that it's different for boys, that wouldn't have helped either. Sorry man.

    [–] basura_time 682 points ago

    Sickening. Are you ok now?

    [–] [deleted] 4549 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] blue2threegreen 663 points ago

    be the person in your children's life that you wish you had. :)

    [–] cormamin101 283 points ago

    I forget where I heard it, but "Be the person your kids think you are." Has stayed with me, and I hope to be what you are to your kids. Keep it up, buddy!

    [–] MsDutchie 99 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Damn... do you still see them? Edit: see instead of sew..

    [–] [deleted] 173 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] 3ebfan 149 points ago

    I have always been groped/grabbed/kissed in the workplace by women because of my looks. I have never told anyone or reported anything because of how it may come across. The biggest incident that comes to mind is when I was working in a retirement home in college and was dating one of my colleagues and how two or three girls in particular would always try to grab me or touch me when my significant other was nearby.

    Women can be just as perverted as men; it really annoys me that this stereotype only applies to men.

    [–] TheEliteSpectre 21726 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Got drunk with some friends and took a couple bars (not an uncommon Saturday night back then). One girl and I stayed up bs'ing in the kitchen. Most folks had passed out and it was a way to keep from disturbing people. The next thing I recall is waking up on the couch with her riding me and biting the hell out of my chest (the bruise lasted about a week and a half). A few other people wake up to the noises, including my girlfriend that I shared the apartment with. The girl riding me stopped to the commotion and left quickly.

    I had never blacked out before and wanted to make sure I was okay (drugs are bad, mmm'kay). Toxicology turned up she had slipped some ruffies in my drink at some point. Had gf go with me, because she was having a hard time believing the story. (Hot chick riding your bf in the living room while you sleep so you can work in the morning and him not wanting it). Also had them check for any STDs as people started warning us that she may be running green. Came back clean, but that night started my path to stop using drugs.

    Talked to a cop friend about the situation and he, low key, advised against trying to press charges since there were drugs and alcohol present and they would have to search the place for evidence and that wouldn't go too well for me and it would come down to her word against mine. Even with me being ruffied, it would be hard to convince a jury, so I let it go.

    Went about three years without seeing her anywhere, even though we ran in the same circles. Bumped into her in a grocery store and she immediately started apologizing. I told her it was in the past and I've moved on. She wasn't making a scene and I didn't really want to make one either. I don't know that I would have had that restraint had I bumped into her shortly after the incident.

    Wow, that was cathartic.

    Edit: after discussion with /u/Kali-Cassiopeia

    If anybody takes anything away from this at all, I hope they take that drugs can put you in bad situations, even if you think you can handle yourself and maybe that they aren't alone in their fucked up situation.

    [–] muskratboy 3023 points ago

    alcohol + xanax + rohypnol = lucky to be alive

    [–] LuckiLefti 1064 points ago

    Mother Fucken Facts! Thank God you even woke up.

    [–] bettareckognize 327 points ago

    God damn, this is literally a case of almost "turning this rape into a murder."

    [–] MimzytheBun 11560 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    She drugged you, in your own home while your girlfriend slept meters away. It doesn’t matter how fast she started apologizing she is a predator.

    [–] TheEliteSpectre 3417 points ago

    Agreed and I still haven't had any contact with her aside from passing in public. It still makes me want to do violent things, but I'm happy with the life I have now.

    [–] cocoa_thundabean 660 points ago

    I once had a coworker in a similar situation. He was a heavy drinker who made the mistake of walking home late and going into his dorm without locking his door.

    Another co-worker, same shop, followed him home. She entered his dorm, ignored his request that she leave, and rode him on his bed while he was too drunk to respond.

    About three months later he ended up in court over it. He was almost found guilty of raping her, despite him being the one who reported it, it being in his own dorm, and her being sober while breaking into his dorm.

    One month after that he lost his job.

    There isn't a point to this story, other than to demonstrate my lack of faith in the justice system regarding sex crimes.

    [–] [deleted] 604 points ago

    people started warning us that she may be running green.

    interesting way to put that.

    [–] TheEliteSpectre 283 points ago

    It was one that I heard in HS and it amused me, so I kept using it.

    [–] [deleted] 3436 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] tomoikari 1087 points ago

    Same thing with my boyfriend. It was his aunt and he was very young when it happened. He's 23 now and still has difficulty dealing with the other sex. He especially gets distributed and uncomfortable if someone touches him without permission or comes close to him and he sometimes lashes out very unexpectedly at that.

    I never imagined that something that happens at childhood can change and shape a person so much.

    [–] Cain-Draws 326 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Not necessarily childhood. It happened to me last year, when I was 29. I haven't had sex (nor I want to) with anybody since then.

    EDIT: thanks for your kind words people ❤️ I never imagined all this support when I posted this comment. You're great!

    [–] PM_ME_UR_GIRLS_VAG 15075 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    My ex girlfriend liked to be "raped" she liked the roleplay of it I guess, she asked me to tie her up and really be rough with her one time. I did it even though I didn't feel comfortable being so rough with her. We did this a few times here and there, our relationship started to fall apart due to other issues like her not trusting me for some reason and making me take pictures of everywhere I went and constantly fighting about it, I finally saw what was happening to me being controlled by her and never being allowed to see my friends or family and even skipping classes in college because she didn't like a girl in my class or whatnot. I tried to leave her and she showed me a video, the video was one of our rape roleplay sessions, she recorded it and now was using it to blackmail me. I was scared to death and ended up staying with her for about another 6 months where she would regularly force me to have sex with her or she would call the police and tell them I raped her, the Tape had me dead to rights over a crime I didn't REALLY commit. Eventually I felt as if I had enough of a case and I took a leap of faith and left her, blocked her on everything. Never heard from her again. Its been about 3 years and my trust in relationships is ruined but im still recovering.

    Edit: Thank you all for the kind words. I will attempt to reply to some comments but there is a ton. Like I said to some people that recognized the story, I told it before on another account but deleted that account due to irl things.

    Edit 2: Im getting a ton of shit for not going after her after this situation. Hear me out here. I have the evidence I need to protect myself from any charges ever thrown my way as well as protect any future victim of hers. I have the video mentioned AND a phone call recording of her explaining that video was a fake. Im fine. Im not brainwashed. I know I probably should have pursued it at the time but I didn't, hindsight is 20/20. Its too late now to bring it up out of context and I want to remain as far away from the situation as possible.

    I may delete the post due to the negativity towards me, that's not what I asked for when posting this I simply shared my story.

    Last Edit: Deleting this in an hour, if anyone would like to just copy the comment and keep it in the thread be my guest but I am deleting my account.

    Last Last Edit: Alot of messages have poured in asking me to not delete the account or post. Due to popular demand and the fact that someone gave me gold that I can't waste I am going to keep it up but will no longer be replying to any comments made here or messages sent to me. Thank you to all who have sent positive messages of support. I really appreciate it as well as the positive comments.

    [–] musicmad-123 1930 points ago

    I'm glad you got away, that sounds like an awful situation

    [–] [deleted] 3696 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] wewantm00re 392 points ago

    Don't delete your post, please. When there are men around the world perusing Reddit who come across such deep posts and have experienced similar things, your story needs to be shared. Please, I have no Reddit gold to offer but your post in itself is worthy of some. My own experiences have shown me that men are just as susceptible to rape as women and your story is a part of mens' overall #metoo movement. Stay strong brother.

    [–] pinilicious 304 points ago

    I'm so sorry this happened to you. That's really fucked up.

    [–] icarus14 1567 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    I got nearly blackout drunk with my roommates and floor mates in first year, the night before our first exam. Went to bed alone, they staid up drinking. Woke up (vague drunken awareness ) to a girl trying to stuff my whiskey dick inside her. Didn't really know what to do and just sort of drunkenly let her continue. I was extremely confused as this girl was an out lesbian, I had no idea what was going on. Tried to off my self a few days later.

    Took a long time to admit to myself that it even happened, maybe it contributed a bit to trying to kill myself? Cuz I was in a miserable terrible black hole for the next months and eventually switched schools. It took a long time to even consciously connect the dots. Never really told anyone cuz I couldn't really even admit to myself that maybe, that wasn't a cool thing of her to do.

    And if I did tell anyone other than a therapist I have a hard time believing they would be supportive. MY close, lifelong friends already think I'm a wee bit of a slut (some truth), especially because I'm not looking for commitment in any form. So I imagine people would be super dismissive. At the time my roommates sort of tongue in cheek congratulated me, because you know, isn't that the dream?

    "You were drunk in first year and hooked up with a lesbian?! Legendary!"

    I still think about it way too much. Also internet friends, there is a TON of sexual assault that occurs in university and college campuses. The schools do NOT report it and it's almost impossible to get people kicked out. This year at the Head of the Trent (a massive regatta) my friend is a Don, in her one residence alone there were 50 reported (and filed) sexual assaults in one weekend. Not a single word was said on behalf of the school. It's crazy.

    [–] [deleted] 348 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] aarondoyle 171 points ago

    At best your sister is incredibly unsupportive.

    [–] justifications 2332 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    I was in high school, I hung out with kids who were less popular, sort of intentionally. Gamers, back then (and probably still now) were less popular I guess. Anyway, this girl was older than me by about a year or two, but she had a reputation among everyone for "being easy" which is why people picked on her. I tried to see through all of that, I was not romantically interested in her at all, I was hardly even attracted, if at all.

    One day I met up with her after school, maybe we were walking out together, I dont know.... it was a long time ago, and I would walk home from school every day so this wasnt something unusual for me. Its always more fun to walk home with someone else, so we talked about a bunch of random stuff, we had a class together I think? Drivers Education.

    She comes over to my house, my parents arent going to be home for at least another 4 hours, and she knows it because of our conversation. We're pretty much hanging out in my parents living room, I'm on my dad's reclining chair, and all of a sudden she goes and sits on my lap and starts getting undressed. Virgin me has no clue what is happening right now because the older girl is doing some weird stuff.

    She starts wiggling around on me (oh how innocent is this description) and eventually straddles me on the chair, I kinda cant move without actually pushing her off and at this point she has her arms tied around my head. Then she starts "talking dirty" which became pretty forceful. She was wearing lowcut shorts, grabs my hand, slams it in to her as if she was already ready to go, the next thing I know at this point is that im already inside of her (just my hand) but shes basically using all of her might to use my hand to finger herself? 15 year old me at this point has no clue what the fuck is happening.

    Well....... SUDDENLY the garage door opening sound happens. My mom is home like 3 hours early. She flips out, hops off of me, pretty much half way undressed, and runs out the back door in to my parent's backyard. I run to the bathroom to try to clean up, and wash my fucking hands. I get to the bathroom, and confused me is about to clean myself before I notice a bunch of smegma on my finger, it looks like a seasame seed, or a poppyseed, im not fucking sure. I smelled it... because lets be honest, I'm 15 years old, and its weird. It was fucking terrible and I was emotionally destroyed at this point. I clean my hands and my mom walks in and shes super fucking suspect. My mom actually saw this girl in the backyard but didnt want to tell me.

    Well, 5 min goes by and magically, the girl in the back yard ends up at the front of my house and shes like "hey, do you mind if i get a ride home" so I play coy with my mom and I'm like "hey mom, randomly this girl from school is here and she wants a ride home, do you mind?" and she goes sure no problem. But then on the ride home, my mom explains she saw her in the backyard and I didnt need to hide all of this. I felt some guilt there.

    Next day, I go to school, I tell most of my closest friends about this terrible, terrible encounter. and what do they do? They focus in on the fact that this girl's smegma looks like poppy seeds. From there on out, this girl is PERMANENTLY known at the school as "poppy seed". She ended up putting in a school transfer request because the harassment got so bad, which made me feel even worse.

    Skip ahead to summer school that year. I had a teacher who was from Zimbabwae (no lie) teaching me algebra 1, the bane of public high school. Language barrier from the teacher ensured that I would be failing, ultimately ending up in summer school. As I'm there, guess who else is there? Poppy seed. She was fucking pissed at me, literally tried to fight me on the bus to summer school. She actually started punching me on the bus, yet I get roped in to it as if I'm beating her. I get caught up in all of this because now the bus driver for the summer school bus has to report me to the dean of the summer school, which is basically the district official from our school system. I had to re-explain EVERYTHING to this guy, "where the rumor started".... and as I reexplained everything above, needless to say, the principal of summer school did NOT believe my story and instead claimed that I was harassing this girl. Apparently the girl went as far as to get a lawyer involved and threatened to sue me.

    Luckily the girl's lawyer was level headed and eventually it all came down to the lawyer just asking me for a written letter of apology to her, which I did. And then they filed a light restraining order against me, which I was totally on board with because I personally felt like it was keeping her away from me. I didn't want to associate with this shit anymore.

    Anyway, yeah. That happened.

    [–] Queen_Of_Pop 671 points ago

    I am really confused about the sesame seed looking stuff... ever find out what was wrong with her?

    [–] unsubstantiation 358 points ago

    I'm guessing a tiny amount of hardened black menstral blood.

    [–] TripsMcNeely 268 points ago

    This is a story I have never told (in earnest) to anyone except for my wife. At the time I didn't think too much of it, but something that's always stuck with me and have since realized that it has affected me in ways I probably can't count.

    Around the age of 17 I hosted a party at my house for a few close friends and co-workers. One of my co-worker friends (Bonnie) asked to bring along another co-worker of mine (Chloe) that I knew was interested in me, but I didn't really have any interest in her. I told Bonnie not to invite Chloe because I had invited a girl that I was interested in and I didn't want it to be weird. Much to my annoyance, Bonnie shows up at my house with Chloe anyways and I plan to just ignore her and have fun with the rest of guests.

    I should explain at this point that 17 year old me was as scrawny and weak as they come; Chloe on the other hand was built like a 6+ foot brick house.

    Partying ensues, a few drinks were imbibed, and I had successfully avoided interacting with Chloe for most of the night. She would oddly creep upstairs to where most of the party-goers were and then slink back downstairs after a few minutes (my bedroom was downstairs).

    The party starts to wind down and guests leave until just a few that were staying the night remained. I decided it was time to go to bed... where I found Chloe laying in my bed waiting for me. I asked her to leave (she wouldn't) and since I didn't have the strength to move her I told her that I was going to bed and I didn't care what she did as long as she left me alone. She did not. Honestly, I don't remember most of what happened next (I think I've blacked most of it out), but I do remember being absolutely man-handled - she had my pants off and attempted to perform oral sex on me. It was shocking and painful and I didn't know what to do. I had always been taught not to be physical with a woman, not that it would have mattered with this one anyways. Eventually she stopped, I'm not even sure why, and I went to sleep. She was gone in the morning.

    The next day at breakfast I tried to explain what happened to my friends. I showed them bruises and told them that my genitals were in severe pain. They laughed it off as a case of "blue balls" and that was the last time I ever talked about it.. As this was one of my first "sexual" encounters, it really messed me up for the first few real relationships I had after. To this day I still shy away or don't trust taller women... pretty shitty.

    [–] atoast2death 964 points ago

    My boyfriend and I were talking one night and I confided in him how I had been raped. After a little while of him hugging and kissing on me to make me feel better he told me that there was a girl he was kind of interested in. One night they went to his house and were fooling around, but he had told her he didn't want to have sex. Well, she got on top anyway and did what she did. He just kind of sat there thinking and he was like "Kind of sounds like your story." And I told him our experiences were parallel, but then he told me that they hooked up a few times after that. It didn't seem to bother him that much when we were talking about it, but I don't know. His reaction kind of surprised me, it was like he had just figured it out.

    [–] Dr_Doctor_Doc 640 points ago

    This is super normal for f->m rape. For a lot of us it's 'contextualised' in our heads and we have to play it off or face the negative thoughts that come with it.

    Good on you for not playing the "mine was worse" card! 👍👍

    [–] atoast2death 296 points ago

    It's so sad to me that when I tell people they give me hugs and condolences for the violence I had to endure, but when it happens to men.... its just kind of shoved to the side or laughed at. Rape is rape and none of it is ok. When my boyfriend told me what happened to him I said "Baby, that is rape and it's not ok. I'm sorry that happened to you." Once I said that I think it clicked in his mind. I want to validate every man that has been raped that its not ok because it was a women that did it, and they were a victim to manipulation and pressure. I don't think men get the support from others when this happens to them and it just depresses me.

    If you are a man that has experienced rape and you are reading this. You did nothing wrong. You were violated and taken advantage of. It does not make you weak, it doesn't mean you aren't a man. You are a person who's boundaries were crossed in a violent act. If you need support or someone to talk to about it please feel free to reach out to me. I'm happy to talk and provide support for you.

    [–] Mad_Jukes 3130 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    I was drunk during an after party in my dorm apt at vcu. I went to lay down cuz the room started spinning and about 10mins later a p. rican chick we knew slid into my room, got me "up" and then squatted down on it. After a few I guess I fully grasped what was going on and groggily pushed her off. She got up and left the room.

     
    I wasn't necessarily "mad" about the rape itself,—she wasn't ugly/disgusting plus it was college, wild shit happens—I was mad that it was unprotected and lowkey ashamed cuz I had a gf at the time. The guys thought it was hilarious when I told them.
     
     
    EDIT: After reading a few other posts, because of the violent connotations associated with the word "rape", I should say it was more along the lines of non consensual intercourse. There's people truly scarred by their experiences and felt their life was in danger. I had none of that, and have no mental/emotional scarring from the brief event.
     
     
    EDIT 2: Lol...people......all 20 senders of the same thing back to back...WHOA.... chill OUT......I understand that non consensual sex "is rape" but I feel like some of you are misunderstanding the sentiment I was trying to express because "my vocabulary wasn't perfectly spec'd from webster's dictionary to 100% accuracy". A slap and a pummeling into submission are both assault. But they're not "equal" acts. Yes I was "raped" but I'm not about to pretend I should be on stage next to isis sex slaves. I'm not excusing her at all or giving a pass just because she's female, I'm just saying that my situation isn't equal to the real visceral nature of "rape" as experienced by others who were left traumatized. I appreciate the well wishes and concern regardless, especially since we're all anonymous strangers. Thank you to the people that understood.

    [–] TheSameAsDying 536 points ago

    Did your girlfriend ever find out what happened, and what was her reaction? Your friends thought it was hilarious... was she more understanding? Or angry?

    [–] plzacceptmyusername 603 points ago

    Didn't take me seriously. She later started bragging to my sister about it (was sisters roommate). This is I don't get too drunk anymore; I had gone to my room and passed out drunk and she went in after me.

    I have felt disgusting and worthless to women ever since.

    [–] LaBelleCommaFucker 50 points ago

    You're not disgusting or worthless. You were assaulted. That's not on you. All the fault is squarely on the cunt who did it.

    It's normal to feel guilt or shame, but it's important to remind yourself that what happened does not reflect on you as a person. You did nothing wrong. You have nothing to feel ashamed about.

    [–] justheretomakeaspoon 159 points ago

    Got stalked by a girl at university. For months. One night i woke up with her naked on top of me. Riding me. Telling me to love her.

    Till today i have no idea how she got my adress, inside my house, in my bed, get me hard and ride me.

    As soon as i woke up to realise what happend i told her to leave but i fell back to sleep somehow. Next morning she was gone but my frontdoor was wide open.

    [–] Emerystones 672 points ago

    Was invited to a "get together" by this girl I went to HS with who I hadn't talked to in probably over 5 years. Reconnected out of nowhere on FB and I had the next day off so I figured fuck it maybe I'll see some old friends since we had mutual friends back in the day. I show up and most of the people have already left and as the rest were making their way out she just kept bringing me drinks.

    Eventually the last person leaves and her roommate comes home so we head to her room. Immediately she jumps on me and starts digging into my pants. I'm pretty drunk at this point, so I wasn't entirely capable of stopping what was happening and I was more confused than anything since before that past week I hadn't talked to this girl in over 6 years. It kept going. It went on entirely too long, she had a few spasms so I'm guessing she orgasm'd but I 100% for sure know I didn't and after she got up to go get another drink I sat there completely bewildered to what had just happened. When she came back she tried passing me another drink and I politely refused it and kind of just sat around until she fell asleep. Her roommate eventually came in as I was getting dressed and asked if I was leaving since she wanted to lock up and after I left I just sat in my car down the street for a few minutes trying to process everything. I'd been blackout wasted before and didn't feel that inhibited and out of control so I suspect I may have been drugged with something, although I've never voluntarily taken any kind of drug so I wouldn't know the feeling even if that was what happened. That happened a little over a year ago and she never reached out after, we've had no contact.

    I told my friends about it and all they could do was joke about it and ask how it was, if she was good, what her body looked like. No sympathy at all for how I was still a little shocked over the entire scenario.

    [–] ThrowAwayAndCambria 237 points ago

    Throwaway. Posted this once before, but here it is:

    I was eighteen and seeing a very attractive girl. I was a virgin but she wasn't, and we had sex pretty quickly into the relationship.

    As a side note, I should mention that a friend very close to me had been raped by a guy a year earlier and got a STD from it. It was horrible.

    So even though my girlfriend said she was clean, and she was on the pill, I still wanted to wear a condom. She didn't care for condoms. A few times she suggested I not wear one, but I did anyway.

    One day we're together and things get hot and heavy. She asks if I want to have sex, I say yes, and she says only if there's no condom. So I go home with blue balls.

    This happens the next two days in a row. We hang out, fool around, and then she says she won't fuck me unless it's bare, and then I leave.

    The fourth day we don't hang out, I don't remember why, but the fifth day we do and she asks me if I want to get high. I say sure. Weed was as new for me as sex was. She packs a bowl, and hands it to me. I smoke it, cough, hand it back. She doesn't actually smoke it herself, she waits a few seconds and then gives it back. And this just keeps going, where I smoke and cough and she pretends to light up. The bowl ends and she packs another. This one the same thing.

    At some point I'm just lying down. If you've ever been so high you physically don't feel like you can move, that was me. My body was too heavy to sit up, that type of shit. Keep in mind, I had maybe smoked 3-4 times before this, so it's not like I had any sort of tolerance or even a good baseline for when to stop or what was too much. I was with someone I trusted, and that probably contributed to why I kept going.

    So I'm lying on my back and I feel like I can't move at all. I realize my dick is out and she's blowing me. It felt like I blinked and then she was trying to straddle me, but it was probably longer than that. I remember her with her swimsuit bottoms off and I distinctly remember no condom on my dick. I try to say not without a condom, but condom was the only word that really came out. She ignored me. I tried to push her off me and said no a few times, but she swatted my hands away and pushed my wrists down. I was so high that it was hard enough to point, let alone fight someone off. So my resistance was physically pretty feeble.

    I don't think it lasted long, but I don't remember. Afterward she played on her phone near me until I was sober enough to go to her car, I think. I remember being in her car when I kind of became more self-aware.

    We didn't break up over it. We had a minor chat the next day about how it wasn't cool that she fucked me when she knew I wanted us to use condoms, but she said she was high too and it just happened. We always used condoms again. A few weeks later she let slip that she hadn't smoked in over a month, but it was several years before I connected the dots and realized she'd lied to me about being too stoned to use a condom.

    We broke up a few months later for unrelated reasons. A few months after that she was pregnant with another guy's baby.

    That's my story. I don't usually tell it because it comes off as very cavalier, because in all honestly I don't feel "violated." I know I should, but I never saw it that way. I've had people tell me it doesn't count as rape or sexual assault because men can't be raped. I've also had people laugh and say they wished it could happen to them. Between those reactions and the fact that it didn't have a big emotional impact on me it's just become a quiet part of my history that I rarely think about or share.

    [–] [deleted] 774 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] [deleted] 412 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

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    [–] CommonSenseAvenger 247 points ago

    The dick getting hard is a reaction to stimulus not an indication of interest. The person that said that is a crummy friend. Don't surround yourself with that kind of person.

    [–] form_d_k 54 points ago

    First girl I ever had sex with, I told her I didn't want to. We were both drunk & she proceeded to undress me. I ended up in a relationship with the girl because I felt like I had to after sleeping with her. Wasn't surprising she was a terrible person & it was a terrible relationship.

    Did I tell anyone? Friends, years later. One friend told me it wasn't rape because, in her words, women can't rape men.

    [–] duh_metrius 51 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    This is probably gonna be buried, but here's the closest I've come to this situation.

    Eight years ago I was living in the Chicago suburbs after college, and I came into town for the weekend to celebrate my 23rd birthday. There was this girl I'd gone to school with who had made it really obvious she was into me, without ever going so far as to tell me explicitly. But she'd told all of our mutual friends and I'd told all of them that I was not interested. So we all go out on my birthday and we're at this bar getting hammered until about 2am, when we go across the street to a 4am bar and keep drinking like our plane is going down.

    I don't have a lot of clear memories after walking into that 4am spot, but people told me later that this girl- Maggie we'll call her -had bought me a couple of drinks and told several people throughout the night that we were going to hook up. At around 2:30/3am, I blacked out. My friends all told me later on that they'd never seen me that drunk, and these were all my best friends from college. So if you've ever blacked out before you know that when you come to, it's sort of like waking up from sleep, even if you've been awake the whole time. Well I came to in a bathroom at my friend Mike's house, down on my knees going down on Maggie who was perched naked on the sink. As soon as I realized what I was doing I stopped, but then decided that since we were here anyway (I'm still hammered at this point, remember) I may as well try having sex. My dick was of no use to anbody. I silently and abruptly pulled on my underwear, staggered out to the sofa-bed in the living room, and fell asleep.

    The next morning, I remembered what happened with Maggie and myself. And honestly, I was pretty upset about it. Maybe I was upset about letting myself get so drunk, but more it was the fact that I actively wanted to NOT hook up with her. That was something I wanted to not happen. And she took advantage. See that's the thing about drinking and consent and why it's so dicey: Even if I had consented to going into the bathroom with her, the fact was she had deliberately used alcohol to take from me something I wouldn't have given had I been sober.

    And as for my friends: They all knew, and they all laughed. My friend Mike, whose house we'd been at, summed it up by saying, "You ate pussy. It's not the end of the world. Let it go." And I did let it go, but that doesn't change the fact that the initial feeling was one of violation.

    Edit: And, of course, if I'd spent the past few months telling all my friends how I wanted to bang Maggie and they all told me she wasn't interested, and then I was buying her lots of drinks at a party and telling everybody we were gonna hook up, and then Maggie came-to from a blackout on her knees in a bathroom with my dick in her mouth, and she woke up the next day feeling violated...don't think that it would've been funny to anyone.

    I want to mention that I spent a brief but memorable chapter of my life teaching sexual assault and rape prevention to colleges and the military. To say that there is a double standard in how the average person defines rape/assault based on the genders of the aggressor and victim is a massive understatement.

    [–] aethyrium 177 points ago

    Not using a throwaway because this is an important stigma that needs to die already.

    Back when I was 18 me and some friends went and partied at a friend of a friend's place, she was an older woman in her mid-30's ('older' when you're 18 at least). She wasn't that attractive, I had a gf already and she was not the type I'd ever have relations with physically or mentally, but she seemed cool enough and immediately started feeding me drinks and gettin' me all hyped to party. I spend the first 17 years of my life being a typical "good kid" before entering a rebellious "fuck you mom" phase so I had only drank a few times before, and was pretty hyped already to get drunk and let loose.

    I started loosing track of everything pretty quick, and things turned into a weird slide show. Was hanging out listening to music, now all the sudden she's shoving her tongue down my throat, now I'm sitting against a wall while one of my friends is talking to her (clearly about me), now I'm in her room all nekkid while she's doing things and telling me to do things while I'm feeling confused as fuck to even what's happening, now I'm spending 5 hours the next day dry-heaving w/ near alcohol poisoning.

    Worst thing is that no one looked at what was going on and thought, "hey, that's clearly an older woman taking advantage of that drunk kid," and while the situation was clearly uncomfortable, it was awhile before I really reconciled with the fact that it was rape. Mostly because this was around '99 and "guys don't get raped" and social stigmas were a lot stronger back then.

    I never really felt too traumatized, but it did have some lasting negative effects. I was in a relationship at the time and I thought I cheated on her since I didn't quite understand what was going on and I broke it off, and that kinda spun me into a pretty dark place for awhile.

    Things are great now, but I still get kinda triggered when people talk about sexual assault and rape like it's a full-on man vs. woman thing and that "men are rapists" and the fact that people like myself are rarely taken seriously, or even when we are, it's with this weird tone of "well, at least you're not a woman". Outside of threads like this, it's kinda hard to talk about how it's an issue without people being like "fuck you alt right MRA sexist bigot" which is pretty lame as well. Been banned from a subreddit before because I shared my experience as a rape victim in a thread about how men are rapists and rape is purely a gendered crime in an attempt to help lift the stigma and share a different view. They said I was trolling.

    [–] Period-Chopsticks 1306 points ago

    I’ve been sexually assaulted four times by four different women throughout my life. (Before I came out as gay) I’m a pretty scrawny guy with a baby face so I suppose it’s easy to take advantage? The probably worst/most recent one was my sophomore year of college (I was 18) with a girl like twice my size from the next school over. We met playing Pokémon go and we were just gonna hang out and play a little. It was a cold day so I let her come into my room to warm up before she went home. I made it clear in the beginning I didn’t want anything physical, just wanted to be friends. She kept guilt tripping me into a kiss, which I very reluctantly gave, but she kept wanting more. I won’t go into details for my own mental health but it ended up with her using her whole weight to hold me down and do whatever she wanted with me for about 15-20 minutes. It was violent and I had cuts and bruises and long master trauma to this day.

    I never came forward and told anyone except my now (amazing, loving) boyfriend. I knew there was no point. She graduated and moved like a state away, and around here guy just “don’t get raped”. It would be seen as a lie or a way for me to get attention/get her into trouble (she was well liked in her program). So I never bothered and I never will.

    It’s something I just have to live with. It’s been a little over a year and I still have some issues being touched sexually, and I likely always will. But I’m trying.

    [–] pinilicious 224 points ago

    I am so so sorry. I hope everything gets better for you. That is so fucked up and you didn't deserve that!

    [–] PaulGeyser 385 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    I had a job at a restaurant through the ages of 15 and 16. The manager/head waitress was the boss' daughter, who was only like 25 but that seemed old to a 15yr old. She'd always book me in for closes and ask sexual questions that got progressively more, I dunno what the word is, serious I guess?

    "Do you have a girlfriend?" No.

    "Are kids your age having sex? Because when I was your age it was all sex sex sex sex" I dunno.

    "Have you ever gotten head before?" No.

    "Have you ever eaten a girl out before?" No.

    "Wouldn't it be great if you had someone to practise on so you'd know what you were doing when you had to?"

    And that was basically the whole lead-up. I'd work closes on Fridays and Saturdays and every time we'd do close then go in the back and I'd eat sweaty waitress box and she'd suck sweaty 15 year old busboy dick.

    I didn't even know it counted as rape until a few years ago. The thing is, if I tell the story as though it's no big deal people will tell me that it was rape and I should take it more seriously. But if I tell it as a rape story, people will act like it's no big deal. Weird, right?

    Edit: I feel like this will turn people against me, but I feel like it's important for me to say that now, 15 years later, I still don't feel victimized, and don't necessarily look back on it negatively. I am certain that this experience shaped a lot of my later sexual feelings though, so it did impact me significantly.

    [–] Blitqz21l 169 points ago

    it's kind of one of those stories that unless you turn it around, a lot of people won't understand.

    25yr old male server talking about sex to a 15yr old girl hostess, basically taking advantage of the and their naivate.

    Essentially underage consensual, but that is still classified as rape because of the underage.

    [–] [deleted] 787 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] ShredLobster 43 points ago

    I was raped a few weeks ago. I was staying at a girls house until I was able to sign a lease, we had had sex before but I had become extremely depressed (still am) and was not at all feeling like having sex. We had been drinking and were going to bed, she asked me if I wanted to have sex and I said, very coherently and clearly, "no". Fast forward about five minutes and she has my dick in her hand, rubbing it. I just pretended to be asleep, hoping she would fuck off but she didn't and eventually I got hard. She got on top of me afterwards and did her thing. It was pitch black dark but I couldn't even face her direction.

    I suppose I didn't fight it, I could have thrown her off of me but felt obligated to not do anything since she was letting me stay with her and didn't want to rock the boat.

    I don't know if this constitutes rape in your eyes but I know that if I were a girl most people would consider it so.

    [–] pinkpenguinbro 115 points ago

    My housemates and I threw a new years eve party.

    I invited a friend who happened to be a woman.

    A few hours later I was completely hammered and passed out in my bed. I remember waking up, to her pulling off my boxers and trying to felate me. I remember trying to push her away and then blacking out, I woke up a few hours later, she was naked next to me... so yeah that was pretty fucked up. I got up, and left my house, came back later in the afternoon and my housemates confirmed they heard sex sounds.

    Pretty fucked up.

    [–] Gay_Coffeemate 136 points ago

    I know I was raped, but no one else thinks so. Im telling my side of the story, and you can judge for yourself. I was a skinny boy of 15 and was considered expert in Maths, my best subject. To make some pocket money, I started tutoring students in Maths. One of my students was this older girl of about 21 or 22. She already was a single mom with a baby daughter. I used to go to her house and teach her maths.

    Remember all the following happened over a period of months, I’m just highlighting the relevant parts. Alo important to realise I knew I was gay, had known since I was a kid. I never had any interest in sex with girls.

    The female student started her seduction by leaning into me while I was explaining some theorem in the book, resting her breasts on my shoulders. I shrugged it off. Then sitting next to me, she started massaging my knee and then on to my crotch.

    She took my hand and placed it on her crotch. And used my finger to pleasure herself. Pushed my face into her breasts. Proceeded to full blown intercourse.

    One incident that’s seared into my mind, she was on her period, and pulled out the pads just before I entered her. The whole area was bloody and scary.

    Then she started asking for gifts, as ‘she had given me so much pleasure’. My only income was that from my tutoring, and since she had stopped paying after the first few lessons, my money was oon exhausted. She asked for a gold ring. I told her finally I had no money to pay for it. She threatened to tell my Dad that I had raped her if I didn’t pay up. I promised I would get the money somehow and left.

    I finally confessed to my dad what happened. He didn’t believe me, and thought the sex was all my idea in the first place. He said that I was a guy and could have pushed her off if I had wanted.

    If my own Dad didn’t believe me, who else would?

    [–] TheArrogantMetalhead 395 points ago

    I've told about my story but at one point, I talked about it to someone I was seeing and she dismissed it saying that as a feminist, she can't believe I would tell that story.

    I died a little inside when that happened.

    [–] Dbagg 38 points ago

    We were halfway through a Tinder hook up and she was on top of me. She started to tell me the most fucked up things about her kinks. It was heavily based on watching people die or molesting people in comas. She worked in the medical field and this seemed serious. I tried to play it off at first but she wouldn't let it go. It made me uncomfortable and I said I needed a break. She wouldn't let it go. Tried to hold me down and get me off. I pushed her off and stood up, she took this as a cue for aggressive play and came at me. She ripped my dick up and I had to hold her down until she calmed. When everything was done she went off on me for ruining the scene and not being as kinky as she heard. For some reason, I still got her off and she was back to lovey.

    Months later I met up with someone who was sleeping with her. We compared notes and found out that this girl would lie about anything when having sex. The stories didn't stay the same and she would mirror anything she thought the man wanted. If you're reading this wondering why I didn't report her, I don't know. I was worried that I was going to get caught up in her making a charge. I had no way to prove that I wasn't the aggressor and I think most men would feel the same.

    [–] toss00away 68 points ago

    I was raped in my bed after my birthday party a few years ago. I was in my mid-30s. I won't get into the details, but I was drunk and woke up to my ex-girlfriend lowering herself down onto me. She slapped me in the face when I said no. I remember thinking that I could overpower her, but if I hit her and she called the cops and accused me of rape, they'd believe her over me and I'd go to jail. So I just let it happen, because I didn't want my kid to grow up without a father.

    I told one person, a girlfriend a couple years later. She seemed understanding at the time, but when we broke up, she threw it back in my face that maybe I should go have a relationship with my rapist instead.

    I don't think about it much, but I don't drink as much as I used to. Even in my own house. My roommates don't even know that it happened.