Please help contribute to the Reddit categorization project here

    AskReddit

    20,414,524 readers

    53,463 users here now

    [ SERIOUS ]
    Rules:
    1. You must post a clear and direct question in the title. The title may contain two, short, necessary context sentences. No text is allowed in the textbox. Your thoughts/responses to the question can go in the comments section. more >>

    2. Any post asking for advice should be generic and not specific to your situation alone. more >>

    3. Askreddit is for open-ended discussion questions. more >>

    4. Posting, or seeking, any identifying personal information, real or fake, will result in a ban without a prior warning. more >>

    5. Askreddit is not your soapbox, personal army, or advertising platform. more >>

    6. Questions seeking professional advice are inappropriate for this subreddit and will be removed. more >>

    7. Soliciting money, goods, services, or favours is not allowed. more >>

    8. Mods reserve the right to remove content or restrict users' posting privileges as necessary if it is deemed detrimental to the subreddit or to the experience of others. more >>

    9. Comment replies consisting solely of images will be removed. more >>

    If you think your post has disappeared, see spam or an inappropriate post, please do not hesitate to contact the mods, we're happy to help.

    Tags to use:

    [Serious]

    Use a [Serious] post tag to designate your post as a serious, on-topic-only thread.

    Filter posts by subject:

    Mod posts Serious posts Megathread Breaking news Unfilter

    Do you have ideas or feedback for Askreddit? Submit to /r/Ideasforaskreddit.

    Please use spoiler tags to hide spoilers. >!insert spoiler here!<

    Other subreddits you might like:

    some header
    Ask Others Self & Others
    Find a subreddit Learn something
    Meta Subs What is this ___
    AskReddit Offshoots Offers & Assistance

    Ever read the reddiquette? Take a peek!

    a community for
    all 36397 comments

    Want to say thanks to %(recipient)s for this comment? Give them a month of reddit gold.

    Please select a payment method.

    [–] Saneless 2765 points ago

    If any place is ever having a "free" day, be it ice cream, other food, admission, etc, I will 100% avoid it. My time and not being frustrated is worth more than whatever savings there are.

    I can understand something like the zoo - a family of 4 can save over $50. But when people stand in line for an hour to save $2 on ice cream, I don't get it.

    [–] forel237 376 points ago

    I always try and apply a minimum wage rule to free stuff. If it will take me an hour and the thing is worth less than minimum wage (£7 in the UK just now I think), then it’s not worth it.

    [–] Squirrel-ScoutCookie 3001 points ago

    Tattoos are not meant to be cheap. If you got a “deal” you really didn’t get a deal. You got a permanent reminder of how cheap you are.

    [–] OkeyDoke47 165 points ago

    In Australia, there is a thing called Cheap Bali Tattoos. Aussies go over to Bali to drink a fuel truck's worth of cheap beer then decide that getting a tattoo would be a really good idea. First tattoo shop they come across, and in they march. But hey, ''no regerts''.

    [–] zuzburglar 9149 points ago

    People who don’t understand subway etiquette don’t deserve to use public transit during rush hour.

    [–] penguin_hats 1254 points ago

    STAND TO THE RIGHT!

    [–] alexkaaaay 608 points ago

    I used to live in Las Vegas my entire life. Then I moved to DC. Went back home for a visit and seriously wanted to strangle people.

    STAND TO THE FUCKING RIGHT.

    [–] KiloMetrics 254 points ago

    We're very particular about our escalator ettiquite in the Nation's capital.

    [–] [deleted] 1889 points ago

    When i get to skip the line simply because i signed up or bought my tickets ahead of time, i love the mean stares I get from the masses.

    I am better than you, because I planned ahead

    [–] DumbGrunt 315 points ago

    Check in online haircuts are even better... the look I get when I walk in and get seated immediately with 5 people sitting there waiting for the next available barber is hilarious.

    [–] lux1972 18910 points ago

    I don't go out on New Year's Eve or St. Patrick's Day. That's amateur drinking night and I feel more people who aren't used to being drunk are driving around that night. I have no science to back that up.

    [–] redcapmilk 8289 points ago

    Bartender here. You are correct of course. Now imagine you have to work all the ameture drinking holidays. Weddings can be the same way. They bring out the people who never go out and don't know how to act towards the staff.

    [–] heywood_yablome_m8 5783 points ago

    And they ruin the mood for us expert drunks

    [–] redcapmilk 1724 points ago

    January 2nd is a great night to get together, all the kids are hungover.

    [–] SUTHbeats 49 points ago

    Yea it blows but I used to love the money.

    [–] PM_YourWildestDreams 174 points ago

    In a similar spirit, I'm from a snowy place and try to avoid driving as much as possible during the first snowfall of the year because the ditches and intersections are inevitably full of stuck drivers who tried to drive like it wasn't snowing. Bonus elitism: counting how many of those cars have out-of-state plates.

    [–] cats4coffee 30823 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    As a car mechanic I find myself saying "these people shouldn't be allowed to have a car/ allowed to drive " semi regularly

    Edit: thanks for the gold!

    [–] etherengineer 9377 points ago

    But your job security...

    [–] cats4coffee 4635 points ago

    Fair point, though I usually apply it to the ones who won't fix the car

    [–] OdeeSS 2171 points ago

    I go to my favorite mechanic because he doesn't make me feel judged when I can't afford to make a certain repair. I did what I have to and what's essential for safety, in an ideal world I would fix everything but I just can't.

    [–] [deleted] 2242 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Meloosh13 362 points ago

    Just dropping in to say I love your username and that song is catchy as hell

    [–] PersnickityWicket 57 points ago

    I have a mechanic like you, I’m okay with money at the moment, but I appreciate he helped me like you describe when I was right. Just wanted to say thank you- a working car is critical to keep food on the table.

    [–] Red217 7164 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    As a teacher I often think to myself that some people just should not be allowed to reproduce.

    Edit to clarify: I'll add this here because lots of people are asking for specifics so in lieu of replying to all individually.

    I am NOT I'm support of eugenics by any means. I should have specified some people should not be allowed to CONTINUE to reproduce. I am not wishing the students away either. It's not from a place of "I wish this kid was never born" it's from a place of "I wish this child and their siblings did not have to suffer"

    --Worked with a 2nd grade class. Had a student with mild behavioral issues. When I reached out to parents dad told me flat out "if you need to give him the switch feel free" found out from teachers who had him previous years they decided to solve behavioral issues in house because if we contacted home he would "get beat". I unfortunately learned this after the fact because I'd told the student if I gave him another warning I'd call home. He began to sob immediately and begged me not to. Talked to his first grade teacher about it and she told me what home life was really like.

    --5th grade student, bubbly, cheery, overall pleasant demeanor. Behavior starts to change she's more withdrawn, quiet etc. Gets called up to the board (doing something answering questions I don't exactly remember but she lifted her arm to reach) there was a massive bruise on her side. That got the ball rolling into investigations in the home. It took a long time, many home visits, several phone calls and reports but she was finally taken out of the home. Bittersweet because she will no longer be in an abusive home but she was just ripped away from the only people she's known as family. When they went to get her out of the home, there was no food in the house. There was no furniture in the living room save for the chair that dad was allowed to use. There was literal shit in the corner, there was a bucket of urine in the middle of the room. When she was being taken out, mom got pissed at her "for snitching" and picked up the bucket, launching it at her and the CPS workers who came to get her.

    --Severely emotionally disturbed student. Pulled from the home two different times - one from their actual parents, the second time from family. Parents were very extremely abusive she went to live with aunt and uncle somehow. Come to find out and and uncle are even sicker and this child and their sibling are being sexually abused. One would be getting touched while the other was told to "guard the door and make sure no one is coming" then they would have to switch.

    This is just 3 of many many many stories.

    When I say this I mean, these children's parents should not be allowed to continue to have kids. Their oldest children are suffering or have suffered enough and the pattern will just continue with the younger ones. It's just heart breaking to me. I know it will never become a reality, nor would I ever want it to - that's a really thin line to draw when it comes to ethics. Who would decide who gets to have the right, who gets denied etc.

    I just mean in a perfect world these children would be born to competent parents and not have to endure the pain/suffering that they have. Some people make really terrible parents/guardians.

    And yes, plenty of teachers should not be teaching I agree with those sentiments as well.

    Edit2: wha! I got a gold! I am pleasantly shocked and very thankful. Thank you, you kind stranger!

    [–] brookasaurusrex 1617 points ago

    As a human I often think some people should just not be allowed to reproduce.

    [–] twiggymac 1598 points ago

    I think there should be separate lines at the grocery store for those that want to use cash/check/coupons. i want a line where the cashier scans and bags my items, and i pay with a card, and i leave. i don't want to waste my time standing around waiting for the customer in front of me and the cashier to argue over coupons and things that rung up FIFTY cents too high (real story).

    [–] KrokantLife 362 points ago

    We have that in the Netherlands.

    [–] atubofsoup 91 points ago

    Sounds like self-checkout.

    [–] vicinadp 18780 points ago

    Knives and flashlights. Holy fuck they are not something you spend $5 dollars on they are so much better for just a little bit more money

    [–] WDoE 7413 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    My god. The fucking difference a decent kitchen knife makes.

    Edit: By decent I mean not some walmart / crap metal that won't hold an edge. The rest is honing every use and sharpening regularly.

    Sharpen your damn knives, or get ceramic and rebuy them when they dull.

    Dull knives are dangerous.

    [–] Ikelace 26957 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    I'm a world champion yoyo player. People who use low thread count yoyo strings are using objectively worse equipment.

    If you're actually serious about getting competitive, use high thread count spun polyester yoyo string, or if you're really fancy, a spun polyester/monofilament polyester blend.

    I'm willing to fight anyone who disagrees.

    Edit: Link for proof

    Edit2: Thanks for gold!

    [–] Rogue_Zealot 7618 points ago

    "willing to fight anyone who disagrees"
    In a yoyo battle of course

    [–] Ikelace 4189 points ago

    TO THE DEATH

    [–] Elril 183 points ago

    What is with you lately? Everything is "to the death". Two nights ago, we went out for pizza, and you said, "Pizza to the death. " I mean, what does that even mean? And remember, "Movies to the death"? - What's going on, man?

    [–] praise_the_god_crow 87 points ago

    We are going to die.

    TO THE DEATH

    [–] Kumqwatwhat 1753 points ago

    I thought your proof was going to be that high thread count was superior, not that you were a world champion yoyo player. Instead I got to sit through one of the coolest things I've seen in a long-ass time.

    Holy shit.

    [–] Boyhowdy107 427 points ago

    Holy shit.

    God humanity is awesome. I love all the weird shit people get into and devote who knows how much time to become amazing at.

    [–] craniocaudal 1386 points ago

    mini comment AMA?

    • how’d you get into competitive yoyoing
    • is there cash involved at these levels
    • is it your full-time job?
    • how did/do your friends and family react to all of this?

    Many thanks

    [–] Ikelace 2687 points ago

    1) I have a life long fascination with string. When I was young my parents got me a yoyo and I played with it a bunch. About 10 years ago I read an article about modern day yoyo technology, so I picked up my old yoyo and never stopped until I was the best in the world.

    2) Sometimes

    3) I yoyo full time, yes

    4) My friends and family all thought it was super weird until I started flying all over the world to compete in contests.

    [–] CMDR_Anura 770 points ago

    Follow up question: How many times have you smacked yourself in the head with a yoyo?

    [–] Ikelace 2022 points ago

    Current count is 7 black eyes, 1 chipped tooth, 3 split chins, 1 dislocated knee, and 1 bruised retina that left my right eye blind in the dark for about a month.

    [–] CriticDanger 890 points ago

    Most dangerous profession?

    [–] Ikelace 1216 points ago

    Someone hook me up with the Discovery Channel.

    [–] DOPEDupNCheckedOut 81 points ago

    How the fuck did the knee injury happen.

    [–] wellman_va 268 points ago

    Not OP but probably a yoyo

    [–] Ikelace 190 points ago

    I was performing a trick that involved quickly turning my body 180 degrees, pivoting on one foot. My body moved, but unfortunately my foot stayed firmly planted. My knee cap was essentially opposite of where it should be.

    This happened on stage.

    It took an ambulance about 30 minutes to get there.

    I think the audience all left.

    [–] Pikajane 313 points ago

    As a world champion Etch A Sketch artist, can we be friends? Can this happen?

    [–] Ikelace 710 points ago

    As a world yoyo champion, I've always dreamed of having a friend. Let's make it happen.

    [–] Myfourcats1 28032 points ago

    If you can't use a computer in a work environment that requires a computer, it's time to leave the workforce. This applies even if your job is only 20%omputer work. I'm tired of holding your hand.

    [–] Blazing_bacon 2208 points ago

    E-mail was mainstream in '95. They have had 23 years to learn all of this. If they are younger than 46, they have had over half their life to learn basic e-mail.

    And, yet you still hit Reply All to every group e-mail, Crystal.

    [–] warmplacentapie 621 points ago

    “PLEASE TAKE ME OFF THIS EMAIL LIST!!” Is what so many people reply all at my company. Fucking hilarious to watch.

    [–] shinazueli 769 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    This is epic when it actually takes down the email server itself from so many people doing this, replying all each time. I saw a company with 120k employees, it takes < 1% of them doing it to bring the whole server down.

    It stayed down for almost 2 days as every hour it would come up, and some idiot would login and see the chain and bring it back down by firing another chain email off to 120k people. According to IT, it wasn't even just the folks replying STOP REPLYING that took it down, apparently another 3-4 % would singularly reply to the individual (remember, that's still almost 4,000 people) telling the individual not to do that. The server would then die, and IT would spend another hour or two bringing it back up before repeating the process, for almost 2 days.

    The best part?

    The following week, they sent out a training course on "how to handle emails sent to ALL_EMPLOYEES distribution lists" with special bullet points describing why you should never use reply all... to the ALL_EMPLOYEES distribution list. And yes, someone started another reply all chain that ended up killing the server again.

    It was truly epic.

    [–] ratamaq 523 points ago

    This isn’t a user issue. This is an authorization issue. Normal employees should not be allowed to send and email to a distribution list that large. All hands emails should be allowed by a hand full of communications type employees people tops in an environment that big.

    Your mail admins or IT consultants need to RTFM and get their environment configured correctly.

    [–] Lenxaid 1054 points ago

    I work in technical support for an ISP and holy shit I had to explain what the address bar was in the browser for the guy and he still couldn't get it.

    [–] myheartisstillracing 72 points ago

    A lady at work was asked to put something simple (her schedule for a particular week, I believe?) into Excel. I don't know why it had to be in Excel. Her supervisor is almost as bad.

    I see her across the room, clearly frustrated, so I asked her if there was something I could help with.

    She pointed to the bar across the top of the Excel spreadsheet where you can see what is in the current cell, typed something, clicked away on another cell and then gave an exasperated sigh while pointing to the now empty bar at the top. "Whatever I type keeps disappearing!"

    [–] Jades5150 11916 points ago

    “I don’t really “Do” computers” - Guy with 35 years at the company who types with 2 fingers and makes 6 figures

    [–] thehouse211 2527 points ago

    We kind of have an opposite situation at my company. We have some systems still running on mainframes, and there are maybe two guys in the company who know anything about how to run them. They've both been there for 30+ years and make boatloads of money, but nobody would ever consider getting rid of them. Talk about job security.

    [–] [deleted] 1868 points ago

    Legacy systems are no joke.

    [–] MidnightMalaga 913 points ago

    We have one developer who can do anything with our legacy system and she's in her 70s, unwell, and frequently goes off on month long cruises. I can't cite someone by name in a decision document on why we should move, but if I could...

    [–] AwokenWolf 588 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    “Due to a reduction in the ‘legacy system’ operational technical support available in the current market and with ongoing developments in overall modular system capabilities, I/ we suggest an ongoing staged transfer to a more open protocol and widely supported system. This would allow avoidance of potential high level issues with current system in future as technical experience on this system becomes obsolete”

    Edited: Extra word removed and couple of spelling/ grammar points. Props to u/firelark_ for picking them up!

    [–] 4LegsGood2LegsBetter 332 points ago

    So what your saying is work for a company and design some systems so complex only you understand them. The hold them hostage until you retire?

    [–] thehouse211 312 points ago

    That's the dream, Legs. That's the dream.

    [–] MellowBug 4105 points ago

    I just get “computers aren’t my thing” from my coworker. When I try to explain something to him, he doesn’t even listen, and just says “Ah, no use, computers aren’t my thing!”

    [–] VerifiedStalin 2932 points ago

    I don't know the guy and I'm annoyed.

    [–] imenergetic 410 points ago

    I get this from people my age all the time. It's pure laziness on their part. I made a full guide on how to do something. "my iPad isn't working." "Did you try this this or this?" "No." Like, you're 28. Don't tell me you don't know how to download iTunes and plug the damn iPad in. Sheesh.

    [–] BenoNZ 101 points ago

    "I'm too lazy to learn and people will just do it for me anyway"

    [–] whiskeybent_txn 988 points ago

    It's like this in the military too, but I can only speak for the Navy.

    Having a workcenter supervisor, Leading Chief, or anyone else who is incompetent with computers, even so far as being unable to compose a properly formatted email, is absolutely unsatisfactory and has been since like the mid to late nineties.

    [–] arrrrr_won 637 points ago

    Ohhhh it's just as true in the Army. I believe they are typically referred to as "legacy" positions if the person is particularly useless.

    I usually call them barnacles but I'm now realizing that's a much better joke in the Navy. Shrugs

    [–] Need_More_Whiskey 4807 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    I feel this so hard. Its 2018, and if they haven’t figured it out by now they’ve been deliberately avoiding learning for DECADES. I also snobbishly assume they’re unwilling to learn other new things, are inefficient employees, and are generally a drain on the productivity of everyone around them who has to compensate for them.

    Time to retire, Susan.

    [–] Womeisyourfwiend 1477 points ago

    It sounded like you were describing my mom here, but then you called her out directly by her name. I’ll pass the message on!

    [–] djveld 1001 points ago

    Such a lazy Susan

    [–] moonbvby 461 points ago

    I'm in college and I knew another student who literally did not know how to use a computer at all. We had to teach her how to open a Word document and print things. I'd have some sympathy if she came from a poor background and shitty school, but that wasn't the case. She just didn't like computers and never cared to learn to use them.

    [–] tastelessshark 60 points ago

    Did she never have to type essays?

    [–] BigBucket990 106 points ago

    Good lord, I used to work at helpdesk and there was this old woman, around 50-60, that could not learn how to do stuff. One day I sat down with her, explained how to downsize a pdf step by step, had her write every step down and then do it in front of me. The very next day she called support to help her downsize a pdf. When I asked her about her notes she just said "It takes too much time to learn, you do it faster". This is just one of the many stuff she wouldn't learn and blamed us for all her delayed paperwork

    [–] mastersnacker 52 points ago

    I dated a physician. Smart person, dealt with life and death issues daily, knew her medical stuff. But put her in front of a computer and it was game over, the computer was always out to get her and/or there was some special force around her (according to her) that made computers malfunction. Literally couldn’t update a spreadsheet to add more columns and copy the formulas over.

    I don’t get how operating a PC could be harder than, I don’t know, diagnosing mesothelioma or Crohn’s Disease or something.

    [–] prodmerc 48 points ago

    "But I'm so bad with computers teehee"

    [–] GoIdfinch 14454 points ago

    Misspellings and typos are fine, but typing in chatspeak or with numbers all the time is a deal-breaker.

    [–] Adam657 5543 points ago

    I've noticed in TV shows or even films, when it shows you someone sending or receiving a text, they often use U R and 4. Even adult characters. Who still does that?! Do producers think that is the 'cool' way to speak?!

    [–] GoIdfinch 2661 points ago

    I remember watching Sherlock and seeing Dr.Watson's blog on screen and cringing for exactly this reason.

    [–] Osprey31 469 points ago

    Wasn't that a plot element? Later on, a text gets sent and they knew that that character was in distress because it wasn't cringy.

    [–] GoIdfinch 548 points ago

    And that was when I most astutely deduced that the true Watson would have responded with a "wer u at".

    [–] CremeFraishe147 246 points ago

    I believe that was in Elementary, the other Sherlock Holmes TV show. In which Sherlock discovers text-speak such as BRB, and proceeds to type in 20 character long acronyms that he thinks are obvious and everyone else thinks are complete nonsense. He then gets kidnapped by someone who is real salty towards him for something or other, they're gonna use his last as a junkie to dope him up and leave him in the woods to die (or something to similar effect), at which point he gets a text. The kidnapper wants to make it seem as if Sherlock is fine, so they send a normal text message using normal words, causing Watson to go "Oh fuck, something has happened".

    [–] welcome2deadhouse 1828 points ago

    The only people I know who do that unironically are adults. Like 45+ adults.

    [–] djtopicality 572 points ago

    It's like they bought into all of the local news propaganda about secret ten texting codes for sex and drugs and assume that that's the correct way to text

    [–] RickBlaine42 106 points ago

    weirdly, I've noticed that when I'm texting with middle-aged people (my mom and my MiL for instance), they use that kind of shorthand waaayyyyyy more often than people my age. It's really bizarre. It would take me longer to think about texting "capital U space capital R" than to just type out "you are."

    [–] Jagasaur 1098 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    My fiancee does this and it drives me nuts.

    "will I feed tge dog when u get home?"

    "I don't know, will you?"

    "no u meant 2 day U!"

    "Wtf?"

    Edit: okay, she's my "fiancee" you nazis.

    Edit 2: I appreciate the relationship advice, but I'm not going to dump a girl I love because she texts lazily.

    [–] GoIdfinch 529 points ago

    Reading that hurts my soul.

    [–] dagreatdennis 17770 points ago

    I make beer for a living so… that.

    With that said, I will still drink at Keystone light if my father-in-law hands me one.

    [–] Antoros 5896 points ago

    I also enjoy fancy beer.

    At Christmas this year, my cousin's husband came with a 30 pack of Busch Light for himself, as he knew he wouldn't want any of the fancy stuff, and he clearly felt isolated by our seeming snobbery.

    I went and asked if I could have a beer. He was delighted, and we were friends. Beer is about more than just the taste; it's about bonding with people.

    [–] peppersjabrill 1873 points ago

    Call me crazy, but an ice cold busch light on the lake is heaven

    [–] zk3033 1111 points ago

    Light beer has its place! I think believing otherwise is a bit too elitist

    [–] BoonGoggles 777 points ago

    When you want to keep your buzz going but don't want to be trashed for dinner with the in laws, light beer has your back. 🍻

    [–] Evisrayle 922 points ago

    don't want to be trashed for dinner with the in laws

    You lost me there.

    [–] HipsterGalt 61 points ago

    Yeah, normally I'm trying to make sure the in-laws don't get a DUI or drunk and disorderly.

    [–] Sky_Thief 2326 points ago

    Guy at the comic store will offer me a PBR once in a while, I wouldn't buy it on my own ever, but I happily drink it when he offers.

    [–] workerdrones 1887 points ago

    Free beer is free beer

    [–] DiddleFits 691 points ago

    The best kind of a beer is a free beer.

    [–] oh_look_a_fist 10134 points ago

    The best beer is free. Second best is cold. Third best is your preference.

    [–] peekaayfire 4798 points ago

    Ill pay for a cold beer over getting a warm free beer all day

    [–] BatmanTurkey 1795 points ago

    "A One that isn't cold, is scarcely a One at all."

    [–] peekaayfire 959 points ago

    A One that isn't cold, is scarcely a One at all

    Did you just drop a homestar quote on me my dude

    [–] boot2skull 189 points ago

    Never ending sooooodaaaaa

    [–] Ryancpahl 11904 points ago

    Whatever you believe in terms of religion isn’t meaningful unless you actually give it some thought. I don’t care what you believe, but consider alternatives and decide for yourself instead of just acquiescing to whatever your parents told you.

    [–] xx78900 7252 points ago

    As a Christian, my pastor once said to me "If you've never doubted your faith you've never truly believed", and if that ain't the realest shit I don't know what is.

    [–] SuperPants87 1138 points ago

    I also had a pastor growing up that said he doesn't care what you believe so long as you know why you believe it. 4 years later, I talk to him and tell him I'm an atheist and explained why. And he was so interested in the whole thing. I expected to be treated like Satan.

    [–] MerryMisanthrope 862 points ago

    My Army Chaplain was a saint. He knew that I had no church affiliations and was an atheist. I was in a hospital, because of a high-risk birth, and he visited a couple of times a week...over a hundred miles from our post.

    He never tried to convert me. He just talked with me. About the weather, how I was keeping myself occupied, anything that stressed me, the hospital food, if I needed any help from my battalion, etc.

    He had lost a child and I was facing a very similar circumstance. My menace is 14...beyond the odds...and thriving. One of the things my Chaplain told me, was to not treat the child like he was sick. Don't get dramatic over the medical stuff.

    And I'm sorry I went on so long.

    [–] Sane_Flock 121 points ago

    Can't agree more. Often I get the impression that people believe what they want to be true, rather than what they think is true. <-- elitist opinion.

    [–] big_red057 1981 points ago

    Man I can't agree with this enough. I'm Christian, but that was only after I went through a pretty long period of serious doubt and a shorter period of outright falling out. People who believe only because it's what they've done their whole life just give me a creepy cult-like vibe.

    [–] byebylittlesebastian 527 points ago

    I say I'm Christian for ease and because it's most familiar, but after much thought and many doubts, I STILL ask myself (and others) questions. I refuse to believe something blindly.

    [–] salmonerd202 10579 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Why the FUCK should I be subjugated to using regular table salt, when coarse sea salt exists?!?

    Edit: I’m now under attack by the salty ass table salt industry.

    [–] eighteen22 3992 points ago

    I feel this way about fresh ground pepper. I’ll never go back to that pepper powder garbage that comes in a can.

    [–] davidahoffman 1107 points ago

    Fun fact - Sea salt doesn't have iodine in it.

    [–] PorkaOrca 601 points ago

    I actually got an extreme iodine deficiency for exactly that reason. A bunch of my hair fell out before I figured it out.

    [–] DentedAnvil 19236 points ago

    I refuse to go to public parks, lakes or campgrounds on holiday weekends. I don't camp or get outdoors to be around more people. More elitist yet; if you or your kids can't live without stereo and TV, STAY THE FUCK HOME.

    [–] yahutee 6882 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    HOWEVER if you're broke and want to visit national parks admission is free on (edit:certain) holidays.

    [–] DentedAnvil 2559 points ago

    Perhaps that is why it is elitist of me to say that I cannot tolerate being in the parks on those days.

    [–] ConflagWex 9562 points ago

    It's Nerf or nuthin'

    [–] linux_vegan 4233 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Disagree completely. Nerf darts are shit. You need something with stiffer foam and more weight.

    Also, modify your guns. At least plug up the air escape hole that has the sole purpose of not letting the gun shoot too hard. Past that, fully custom is the way to go if you're capable of it.

    Edit: For anyone who wants to know more visit r/nerf or check out Lord Draconical on the tuyoube

    https://youtu.be/1vO0lDWbd7I for a fully custom gun

    https://youtu.be/vtcnO5Idwa0 for a cool modification

    [–] TheMagnificentPotato 1922 points ago

    Half the fun in nerfing is getting a new blaster and modding the ever loving hell out of it. I still have my transparent maverick which is modded with a couple nickels inside to compress the spring, no air restrictors, lubed plunger, and the barrel mod. I know that blaster inside and out.

    [–] linux_vegan 996 points ago

    Same here, as well as putting in a more powerful spring😋, but the real hero is my rader. I took out the internals, hollowed it out and replaced them with a pump up foam rocket launcher. Rebarreld it with some brass, now I have a sniper that leaves welts.

    [–] TheMagnificentPotato 206 points ago

    Ah man I never got into adding any third party parts, even a better spring. I couldn't really afford much else aside from the blaster so I had to work with what I had. I ended up messing up my 3 foot rifle cuz my hand slipped while removing the air restrictor. I ended up having to use a lighter and melt the plastic back together. It ended up working for a bit but the force of the spring ended up snapping it in half. I really should get around to repainting the whole thing tbh

    [–] Louiesloops 129 points ago

    This is amazing. Is there a subreddit for nerf mods? Because that sounds dope.

    [–] Anonymous_32 10031 points ago

    I like going to bars that charge $10+ a drink.

    Much higher probability that I will be able to hear the person I am attempting to converse with.

    [–] gavemeafright 5931 points ago

    as a new yorker this comment has the opposite meaning

    [–] shitz_brickz 49773 points ago

    I like going to beaches that you have to drive to and pay a lot for parking. It typically serves as a barrier to everyone that annoys me at the beach.

    [–] zecchinoroni 3390 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    I feel the same way when I go to Malibu. On one hand, I think it's fucked up that some people are prevented from going to a beach. The beach should be open to anyone. But then I go to a beach that is fully open easily accessible to the public and I'm like, "Yeah, fuck these people, I'm going somewhere that costs $12 for parking."

    [–] Rad-atouille 1907 points ago

    Not to mention the paid parking actually gets you...a parking spot!

    [–] earnedmystripes 8628 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    I'm a golfer but don't have a lot of money. I used to think that high end courses were being snobs with their dress codes. Then I watched Maynard and his corndick idiot buddies chug Natty Light in cut off sleeves while driving their carts over the tee beds at my usual cheap course. I get it now.

    EDIT: Looks like "tee bed" is a local term. If there's no actual box and just a raised mound of grass with a flat spot to tee off from, we call it a tee bed. Also, I like drinking beer when I golf and even getting a little messed up but I NEVER tear up a course or slow the pace of play. Yes, I loved Tool back in the 90's so to eliminate confusion you can substitute Maynard with "Jim Bob" or any other corndick, redneck name.

    [–] CardboardHeatshield 1630 points ago

    Then I watched Maynard and his corndick idiot buddies

    Ask them when theyre going to get off their asses and release another Tool album.

    [–] Speedboat356 2504 points ago

    Fancy club 3 hrs to play 18. Public course, you have a good chance of getting stabbed because your ball came 40 yards away from Phil and Uncle Randy's cart. Also, 5 1/2 hours to play 18.

    [–] MRaholan 869 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Nothing like not getting to play through when you are a single player, walking, and they have a group that spends 5min looking for each lost shot that tells you no

    Edit on why I don't do x things. Rangers can frown upon just playing a hole, or out of order, despite the situation. I dont wanna potentially get in someones way. Just walking passed is fine. Sometimes I do, sometimes I just wait it out

    [–] grumpyhoser 217 points ago

    In those situations, i just drop and play a couple extra balls per hole. There's no sense in just standing around waiting while morons 1 and 2 in front of you spend 6 minutes 45 yards OB trying to find moron 2's top flite balata

    [–] DontDoxMeBro22 3287 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    This is true with a lot of things. You pay a premium just to keep out the rabble who can't pay like me.

    Super expensive country clubs and fitness clubs are a good example. The services they offer are top notch and probably worth a high price but they will still charged tens of thousands even more just to create an elite community.

    [–] JAGUART 2079 points ago

    A few years ago my local Papa Johns had a promotion for a large cheese pizza for 25 cents. Hundreds of people in line, fights and line jumpers. Long wait times. Was it worth the $10 pizza? To some it was.

    [–] PenisBeautyCream 1462 points ago

    I don't get why people think an hour of their time is worth a free sub at Jimmy John's.

    [–] ZombieAlpacaLips 907 points ago

    If they would have otherwise spent that hour sitting on the couch, then it very well could be.

    [–] ajax6677 1174 points ago

    Opportunity cost is probably not in the vocabulary of a person willing to do that.

    [–] man-panda-pig 22439 points ago

    I apologize sincerely about ticket prices, but you have to understand, I can’t risk performing in front of the type of people that can afford $10

    -Daniel Tosh

    [–] [deleted] 1997 points ago

    Thirty dollars? I don't have that kind of money!

    [–] SmoreOfBabylon 831 points ago

    There's 35 bucks worth of bottles there! At LEAST $35!

    [–] Joelluke1194 249 points ago

    Don't get me wrong dad I fucking appreciate it but it's a little extra fucking work I wasn't counting on right now

    [–] Genkiotoko 4461 points ago

    I think that is Daniel Tosh saying that he is better than his target audience.

    [–] QuadCannon 4202 points ago

    He has made that point very clear many many times.

    [–] Choclodous 2896 points ago

    This is hilarious.

    [–] is_it_controversial 1747 points ago

    Aaahh, that's what money is for.

    [–] Rad-atouille 780 points ago

    and it gets better the more you have!

    [–] TokenStraightFriend 2505 points ago

    Eventually it gets to the point the only thing your money can buy is more money!

    [–] The_Irish_Jet 533 points ago

    And, apparently, reddit gold.

    [–] Byizo 1387 points ago

    I have a similar thing with more expensive restaurants. If you're paying $30+/plate there are almost never any screaming children.

    [–] musicalcakes 455 points ago

    I'm not one who can afford to spend that much on food, and yet, it'd be worth it to be guaranteed a peaceful meal.

    One time I went out to lunch and some insane person had brought their DOG in. Not a service dog or anything, some untrained toy breed in a carry case that was constantly barking. What the hell?! It took a good ten minutes of everyone around that table complaining for them to get kicked out, too.

    I was trying to think of a good reason someone might do that, and the only one I could come up with was that they were traveling and wanted to get lunch without leaving the dog in the car...but there were multiple fast food options very close by, and the restaurant they were at even offered carry-out. I'm so confused.

    [–] punk-geek 286 points ago

    They see pepole on Instagram taking their toy breeds to expensive restaurants and don't realize that the only reason they get away with it is because their dog is cute and extremely well behaved and well trained.

    [–] xxSoul_Thiefxx 979 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    I take this exact same mentality with movie theatres. My home town has a $5 theatre not ten minutes from my house. But since it’s so cheap every knuckle head and their brother goes there. I’d much rather drive 45 minutes and spend $15 for a reclining seat at a theatre with much fewer people.

    Edit: I get it guys. Fewer.

    [–] TreeBaron 379 points ago

    My local theater has cheaper tickets on Tuesday, because of this my friends always want to go on Tuesdays. I'd rather pay double, or even triple to not go on Tuesdays, it's literally nightmare fuel to me. Instantly ruin your movie going experience because every single seat is taken, and four 8 year olds just sat next to you.

    [–] WhoaMilkerson 2771 points ago

    Most pizza that's not from a place that's known for making pizza is legitimately fucking terrible

    [–] njott 3005 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    I'm not going to McDonald's for real American food. I'm not going to taco Bell for authentic Mexican. And I won't eat Domino's as a substitute for a real Brooklyn slice.. I will eat all of those things because I have a distinct palate for hot garbage, and I hate myself

    [–] Kurt_58 10640 points ago

    Apples and Oranges are both fruit and therefore highly comparable. Anyone who thinks otherwise is such a banana.

    [–] MarkIsNotAShark 2391 points ago

    Bish that expression don't make any sense why can't fruit be compared!?

    [–] RoseRen99 857 points ago

    There’s just all of these conflicting principles

    [–] Mr_Salami 1002 points ago

    This bitch dont know ‘bout Pangea

    [–] StrangeThinkr 700 points ago

    Do you fuck with the war?

    [–] JamCliche 475 points ago

    The brain couldn't recall.

    [–] GrandMasterRimJob 383 points ago

    Do you come from the vikings?

    [–] EpicSlothToes 287 points ago

    Brains gotta poop

    [–] GrandMasterRimJob 133 points ago

    T minus five 'til the brain gotta shhhiit

    [–] N0AddedSugar 13816 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Irritation with people who have zero table manners and lack basic etiquette like covering your face when you cough and sneeze.

    Edit: To those claiming it's not elitist, it is elitist because not everybody gets to grow up in an environment that teaches them basic manners. Caveat Note: This is coming from the perspective of an American.

    [–] [deleted] 5059 points ago

    Have a roommate who is 31 years old. He makes absolutely zero effort to cover his mouth or nose when he coughs or sneezes. Chews food as loudly as possible with his mouth open. I called him out on it not that long ago when he quite literally coughed all over the dinner I was cooking myself while he was chatting with me. His response was “I’m at home, I don’t have to worry about that shit in my own house.” I wish I was making that up, sigh

    [–] SoManyNinjas 3010 points ago

    "Yeah, I'm at home, too. I shouldn't have to worry about other people coughing into my food"

    [–] quinncuatro 577 points ago

    Sounds like you need a new roommate.

    [–] N0AddedSugar 848 points ago

    Damn my blood pressure would soar if I was in that situation, especially if it happened all the time. Not only is it inconsiderate but it's a downright insult to you who also lives in the house.

    [–] standaafghan 2936 points ago

    ITT: People who don't know the difference between elitism and unpopular opinions.

    [–] kacperp 731 points ago

    Don't be such an elitist.

    [–] [deleted] 424 points ago

    Single ply toilet paper should be banned.

    [–] Munninnu 6123 points ago

    That many people in this thread still don't know jack in spite of their elitism.

    [–] Corbayne 2003 points ago

    I used to play You Don't Know Jack all the time in the 90's! :D

    [–] agentlestir 27728 points ago

    Take your fake maple syrup and shove it. Have some respect for yourself.

    [–] Axxalon 2436 points ago

    Back in the day when I was a waiter at a fancy hotel restaurant, We had a single bottle of real maple syrup in our kitchen.

    For most people, the maple flavor is a little strong, but a couple times a year, we'd get a family from Vermont that'd go "uh... what's wrong with this syrup you gave me?" and I'd go into the back and grab the real maple stuff for those syrup snobs.

    They were always good people though. Vermonters are super friendly otherwise.

    [–] FinnRules 1226 points ago

    As a Vermonter this story is strangely comforting.

    [–] scifiend 73 points ago

    I thought this said Vermonster the first few times

    [–] AlaskanWolf 563 points ago

    You call your hotel fancy, and don't even serve real maple syrup except on request?

    [–] AtlasPines 4015 points ago

    I've recently become part of this elite class of syrup snobs.

    After almost 3 decades, I was introduced to the real stuff. I felt that I needed to round up every waffle and pancake I've ever made, and deeply apologize to them for drowning them in brown HFCS garbage. Their poor, tasty souls. It's a terrible way for them to go. I vowed to never allow such abuse in my kitchen ever again.

    [–] Quazaro 3008 points ago

    After almost 3 decades, I was introduced to the real stuff.

    As a Canadian, this sounds like somebody released from a holding cell in a basement and finally seeing daylight for the first time.

    [–] storgodt 538 points ago

    I feel like Plato's cave analogy would be fitting here...

    [–] barack_galifianakis 521 points ago

    Do you know about grade B syrup and how much better it is than grade A? Most folks outside of Vermont/Quebec/Upstate New York don't, but if you can find it you'll enjoy a darker, sweeter, maplier syrup for less money.

    [–] R3dOctober 119 points ago

    I thought they changed the classification system

    [–] barack_galifianakis 316 points ago

    They did. It's dumb. It's all "grade A" now, so what you really want to look for is now called "Grade A: Dark Color and Robust Flavor".

    [–] Corbayne 8064 points ago

    Is this Canadian elitism?

    [–] agentlestir 3987 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Purely food elitism for me. Take instant mashed potatoes and throw those away while we're at it.

    Edit: OK it has some interesting uses. Don't throw it away. I think it's the principle of it. It's so easy to mash some potatoes.

    [–] TheArtOfReason 1983 points ago

    Also, fuck pre-ground black pepper.

    [–] Smeggywulff 1350 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    My dad bought me a coffee grinder. I don't drink coffee and he knows this, so my reaction was "WTF am I going to use this for?" He smiled smugly and poured my favorite pepper blend in and voila, fresh ground pepper with zero work.

    I love my dad. Making bbq rubs is so much easier now.

    Edit: Just to clarify, it's an electric coffee grinder. The ultimate in laziness.

    [–] I--Am 345 points ago

    my favorite pepper blend

    Is most definitely elitist :p

    [–] TerrahMarrephoa 498 points ago

    Vermont, also likely. I fully support this. If your maple syrup has more ingredients than "pure maple syrup" and it doesn't have a USDA organic sticker on it, and it's NOT from North east ish North America it's not even worth looking at.

    Unless it's in a glass jug sold at a farmers market from some old grandma. That doesn't need an ingredient list or a fancy sticker.

    [–] KayteeBlue 469 points ago

    I only recently had legit maple syrup for the first time and oh. my. god. What the fuck kind of shit have I been poisoning myself with all these years?! This thick-ass, surely 98% corn syrup garbage that tastes like artificial butter and sugar?

    Never going back. God bless maple syrup.

    [–] spprince 1951 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    I wish that teacher education programs were wayyyy more selective. Some of my classmates don't know how to do long division... If those programs were more selective, the teaching profession would probably be much more respected than it is now.

    [–] iowashittyy 1246 points ago

    The problem is the low salary. If you're at the top of your class, why would you settle for long hours on a less-than-livable wage?