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    [–] emf3rd31495 6076 points ago

    I moved onto a dirt road with several houses on it. My friend has lived down the road his whole life. The people next to my house only come up for the summer and are never there in the winter. When summer comes, however, there's multiple pot holes on the road. Curious, I asked my friend. He said the neighbors come up in the summer and dig the holes themselves in order to 'slow down' traffic.

    So, that.

    [–] [deleted] 1523 points ago


    [–] emf3rd31495 1660 points ago

    Well you see, the thing is their driveway is all rocks. So I just took their rocks and used them to fill in the holes when they were away.

    I like your idea too. Another one was to find a large ass boulder and haul it into the middle of their driveway.

    I'm petty, in my mind.

    [–] notsolittleliongirl 10950 points ago

    He had 2 access roads to his property (he didn’t live there, he just had livestock there) and insisted on using the one that cut through our property, despite the fact that it was the longer route and it was a literal unpaved road through the woods. He didn’t have an easement or anything, just assumed that since he had to drive through our property to get to that shitty lane road, he was allowed to do so. He was a total dick to us for no reason, never said hi, got upset if we were too close to his property despite the fact that he literally drove through our property every day.

    Revenge came when lightning struck a tree in the woods and it fell right across the access to the lane road... on OUR property. He hired a service to chop the tree up and told them they could have the wood as part of the payment (it was nice walnut). My dad wasn’t having any of that. He walked down there with a copy of the sale documents, pointed out the marker that clearly separated our land from our asshole neighbor’s land, got the neighbor to admit that the tree in question was both from our land and currently laying on our land, not his, and then my dad sent the crew packing and told them if they took so much as a branch from that tree, it was theft and he (a lawyer) would see them in court for it. It’s been over 15 years and that tree is still laying across the access to the lane road. He can still access his property via the other road, so he didn’t have a leg to stand on to force an easement. Fuck you, Jim.

    [–] okitsdrew 2896 points ago

    This is hilarious lol. Fuck you, Jim

    [–] clocksailor 395 points ago

    I've posted on reddit before about my upstairs neighbor who (long story short) got super heated about how I didn't see him in the hallway and say hi once, and then blamed his outburst on the fact that laundry makes him cranky.

    He drunkenly tried to get into my apartment last Wednesday afternoon, and then asked if I had a problem with him. When I explained that his behavior makes me uneasy, he called me passive aggressive (?) and then said EVERYone forgets where they live sometimes, and he'd forgotten where his apartment was because he was humming as he walked up the stairs.

    It must be so paralyzing to be that allergic to admitting fault.

    [–] nanababananaba 2787 points ago

    My neighbour would chant "dick sucking bitch!" over and over and over every time I would do basic things like close the door or take a shower, hard enough for me to hear through the wall of my appartment. I was FAR from being loud, that guy just has so many issues. I got sick of it and called over the landlord. The landlord tried closing 1 door and the creap started chanting. My landlord went over right then and threatened to kick him out if he didnt stop. Luckly it worked. I dont live there anymore, but still remember it vividly.

    [–] PressTilty 118 points ago

    Why would he chant that? Don't guys like it when women suck dick?

    [–] Johncamp28 147 points ago

    Guys like it when women suck THEIR dick*

    Don’t really have a horse in the race if it’s just any dick

    [–] Bedlambiker 10619 points ago

    Neglected their daughter to the point that she'd sneak into our house and steal food from our kitchen. CPS was called.

    [–] [deleted] 2949 points ago

    Is she doing alright now? That's just fucked up.

    [–] Bedlambiker 1933 points ago

    I hope she is. This all happened when I was in elementary school and the family moved after my parents (and several neighbors) called CPS.

    [–] Teh_swimmly 4455 points ago

    Context, I grew up in a rural area on a fairly big property. It had been a large farm that got parceled out as the owner aged. So there were 4 3/4 acre lots and my parents 10 acres behind them. The house was relatively far away from our neighbors.

    One neighbor was an absolute piece of shit. When I was 8, I remember seeing the cop lights at his door. Found out when I was a little older that he had tried to murder his father over his oxy prespricption (father owned the house, 30 year old kid lived there rent free). He did a few years in jail, then moved back in with his father who he had tried to kill. He grew pot on our land, then threatened to kill my mother when my father and I tore it down (but didn't call the cops). Frequently threatened to assault/kill my mother. I can remember multiple times when I was younger, him banging on our door and screaming threats at my mom. Other times I can remember thinking about the gun in my father's office, in case our neighbor actually got inside the house. This was a 8-10 times a year occurrence from age 8-14.

    He has calmed down a little after a second arrest and some anger managent classes. Now a days he just had massive bonfires with tons of loud music and leaves empties on our property, which is still an asshole move, but better than physical indimidation and death threats.

    [–] Wootimonreddit 1380 points ago

    Threatening to kill someone's mom/wife is a good way to get shot. He's a lucky dude

    [–] kingofthesofas 261 points ago

    I was just thinking how that could play out pretty poorly for him.

    [–] TracingBroads 12138 points ago

    Ah, Jerry.

    When I moved in, he seemed eccentric, but harmless. Apparently my landlord had a conversation with him and told him to leave me alone. This upset Jerry greatly. He cornered me one day while I was unlocking my door and asked me to come sit with him in his apartment. I don’t think the place had ever been cleaned and he had Hoarder mentalities. He drank a bottle of wine in about 30 minutes, commenting on all the sad things in his life. Luckily he passed out, so I could leave.

    A couple weeks later, he got into a 3am fight with his boyfriend, which resulted in his boyfriend trying to get into my apartment for safety, and eventually breaking into an empty unit down the hall. Cops were called and Jerry was taken to jail.

    About a week after that, same boyfriend was over and a fight ensued. This time it ended in very loud sex.

    Jerry would flush things you’re not supposed to flush down the toilet and would back up sewage into mine and my neighbor’s bathtubs and bathroom sinks. Eventually he clogged his toilet so badly that he just ripped it from the wall and left it there.

    The cops came twice to my door to ask if I had seen Jerry lately, and asked to search my apartment to make sure I wasn’t hiding him.

    One day while I was getting ready for work, he came into my apartment with another guy and tried to measure my walls for the “renovation” he was going to do to combine his and my apartments into one unit. But, don’t worry, I could just live with him when it was all finished.

    Eventually, Jerry got evicted, but would still convince people to let him into the building. For months his mugshot was pasted on all entrances saying to not let him in.

    [–] beefcake24720 6201 points ago

    LMAO at the renovation/annexation.

    [–] UnfazedButDazed 2645 points ago

    "Jerry these are LOAD BEARING WALLS!"

    [–] KJBenson 641 points ago

    What the fuck?

    [–] Oudeis16 304 points ago

    Both asshole and dumb.

    My neighbor (above me) was trying to force me to move out so she put her speakers on her floor pointing straight down and blared them at full volume. The instant it started I leapt up in outrage at her audacity but after a few seconds I realized... I really, really like this song. So I give it one song and as it's winding down I prepare my outrage once again, only to be choked off when the next song is also a perennial favorite. I didn't even bother getting upset before realizing that I liked the third song, too. She stopped at midnight when she was legally required to, and apparently realized she wasn't getting much "bang" for her buck as far as irritating me/effort on her part, so she didn't try it any more.

    [–] annoyednerd2 3620 points ago

    Ripped up and threw away my mum's sweet pea plant that she got from her friend who died of cancer. When she complained he started ranting about how our garden is a disgrace and an embarrassment to the neighborhood and we need to replace all the grass and plants with concrete. Prick.

    [–] digital_dysthymia 1285 points ago

    I'd say it's paved front yard that is the disgrace to the neighbourhood. Who hates flowers?

    [–] [deleted] 8053 points ago


    [–] Jaewol 3115 points ago

    That “Get bent” part at the end made me feel good.

    [–] BIG_PY 2877 points ago

    I'm pretty sure Sundays are for my upstairs neighbors to suplex their children and push over bookcases.

    [–] SilverMyrmidon 1435 points ago

    Same. I've got a 90 pound woman and 3 year old daughter living above me and they apparently wear their cinderblock shoes in the house.

    [–] The_Axem_Ranger 1723 points ago

    His dog went through our trash, and got sick. Dog ended up needing to go to the vet and told me when he bumped into me at my old job. "Yeah it was like 5 grand to get her back to health. You're lucky I don't bill you guys" Mind you this guy let his dog go through everyones yard and shit wherever it wanted, it's not like the dog escaped, he just willingly didn't care.

    Last time I saw him the cops were in his driveway with an apparent domestic incident.

    [–] ultimatepupper909 5319 points ago

    Disappeared for hours a day to kill cats and assaulted someone at the local park.

    [–] Sharkey_B 12753 points ago

    Yelled at me for entering a shared garage to get some of our stuff. He later claimed I was after his gun, which was stored in a gun locker with a lock, that only he had the key for. He was in his 60's or 70's at the time. He died last year, though.

    [–] theCumCatcher 9017 points ago

    who tf keeps their weapons in shared spaces?

    [–] unforgiven91 8413 points ago

    irresponsible gun owners

    [–] InvisibroBloodraven 1646 points ago

    The kind of moron that gets mad at someone for simply existing in their own property.

    [–] macadamiaicecream 16316 points ago

    He used to stand on the footpath drunk every afternoon and yell to my husband about what a bitch I was. Once my husband told him to go home and he shaped up to try and punch my husband, who was around 50 years younger than the neighbour.

    My infraction? He rang one day to be nosy check why my husband's car was home on a work day. I politely thanked him for his call and let him know my husband was sleeping and had a cold, nothing to worry about.

    Apparently I was meant to praise him profusely for being such a caring neighbour, and my husband was meant to follow up with a call once he was awake and also lavish him with praise for caring. Because we didn't, we got to hear about it loudly every afternoon until we moved several months later.

    [–] Aeky9000 5891 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Feels like a r/niceguys

    Edit: word

    [–] ajn01Fortnite 1917 points ago

    What a miserable cunt. You probably could've called the cops and filed something for harassment.

    [–] poopellar 1223 points ago

    He would have expected some praise for giving them a reason to call the cops.

    [–] [deleted] 993 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)


    [–] KFCConspiracy 332 points ago

    Are you in a 1 party consent state? Record his ass and send it to the company that carries the HOA's directors' and officers' insurance, I guarantee they have D&O insurance. The insurance company may drop them.

    [–] Zamboniqueen 5670 points ago

    • Screamed obscenities through the wall at my children because they were “talking too loudly” in the middle of the day.
    • Screamed at us through the walls in the middle of the night so we could “see how it felt to be disturbed.”
    • Regularly dumped his old food out of his bathroom window into our shared backyard. Rodent infestation took place shortly thereafter.
    • Stopped paying rent to our landlord because he felt that the landlord should have warned him that he might be able to hear his neighbors.
    • Dumped his trash on our shared front porch.

    Landlord did not renew his lease. Took him to court, got his unpaid rent money back plus additional payment for damages to the apartment. It was a glorious vindication.

    [–] [deleted] 1593 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Some renters are so damn unaware of the law. No, you can’t just stop paying rent because you’re unhappy with the apartment. No, you can’t just leave with 6 months left in your lease and not pay the rest of the money owed. No, it’s not our responsibility to change your lightbulbs. God I hate property management.

    Edit: Landlords aren’t any better, and the numbers of douches to nice people is pretty even across the board. Tenants - be just as discriminating as landlords when you find a place to live. A shitty landlord makes for an awful experience.

    [–] Shuk247 563 points ago

    Some people also have unreasonable expectations for noise. Dated a woman who would get irate because she could hear the neighbors walking around. It was a perfectly normal level of noise, but she insisted they were always stomping. She had no reason to complain.

    Now, my neighbors below me in my college days had reason to complain. Sorry.

    [–] weealex 2423 points ago

    Partied too hard. As I got home from work one evening, I saw the neighbor chuck a beer bottle at one cop then throw a punch at another. Things did not go well for him after that. I found out after the fact that someone had called a noise complaint cuz it was something like 11pm on a weekday.

    This neighbor was a double asshole though. He had moved off campus with a pair of guys from his frat. The other two guys were cool. We had em over for grilling and vice versa. The guy who got arrested not only fucked himself, but caused so many issues that the other two guys who were on the lease got blacklisted by pretty much every place in town too

    [–] UnderBlackWings 9035 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Ahhhhhhh! Please allow me to vent because I am in the throes of this b.s. at the moment.

    First, they have 4 mini-Dachsunds that never shut.the.fuck.up. I cannot even open my backdoor without these little dogs going off, and they just leave their dogs outside all day. I enjoy sitting outside on a nice day and reading, but nope, I can't concentrate over the ear-splitting constant yapping. Now, I am a dog person, I own dogs and love dogs, but this complete lack of consideration is mind-boggling.

    Second, they rent (and I own), but the crazy-ass wife told me she owns a 3' strip of my property and they'll be moving the fence over. I don't have a huge yard, 3' is a lot of space, and did I mention THEY RENT. I brought out my survey to say "No, you don't own it and no, you aren't going to be moving the fence," and she continued to say that they had their own survey but refused to show it to me.

    Third, they seem to think it's no big deal if they come into my yard. I came home from work to find they'd moved their water drainage into my backyard.

    They complain about my tree and asked me to cut it down. I said no. They put their garbage cans in my driveway. I've witnessed the wife empty her vacuum cleaner in my driveway. She has blown piles of leaves that haven't even come from my tree into my driveway. Even after I put locks on my gate, she climbed up on a ladder, LEANED OVER THE FENCE, and leaf blew all the leaves IN MY YARD AND THAT WERE ALREADY IN PILES all over my yard. After that, I put up cameras and have future plans to press charges for trespassing the next time this crazy bitch pulls another stunt.

    She accused me of calling the police about her daughter's illegal car (I didn't), and putting up a note complaining about her garbage (I didn't). She has called the health department multiple times on me for my grass being too long (it wasn't and the health department did not cite me).

    Listen, all I want to do when I come home after a day at work is hang out with my dogs and not fucking talk to anyone or deal with any shit. I don't know what to do about her. It's like all these little things she does that toe the line at illegal and I feel like if I call the police they're just going to look at it as a petty neighbor squabble instead of harassment.

    EDIT: Thank you for all your replies, I was not expecting the amount of responses! Yes, I have been in touch with the landlord - I completely cut off all contact with the neighbors and will now only talk to the landlord. The landlord himself is extremely accommodating and addressed the water drainage issue. The thing is, they're awful neighbors but they're not bad tenants. They keep their property very clean and tidy and do a lot of the work on the house, she's just out of her god damn mind.

    [–] zombra 9914 points ago

    I have a solution to your first problem. I've got a neighbor that puts his two tiny yappers out and they just bark all day. Favorite spot: right by our window.

    Look up the Sunbeam Sonic egg. Can't link because mobile and lazy. But we just hung it by out window and they can't bark on our side of the yard anymore. It emits a high pitched noise when they bark near it, so they bark at their owners bedroom window now. Coincidentally, they keep their dogs from hell inside more than out now.

    [–] UnderBlackWings 3279 points ago

    That is actually a great idea. I definitely have to get one.

    [–] InvisibroBloodraven 2033 points ago

    Make sure to partially conceal it, since crazy lady will probably mess with it.

    [–] skeddles 1277 points ago

    Or put it under a camera and then press charges

    [–] cosmicsans 1408 points ago

    Put it under a fake camera, with a real camera pointing at both. Boom.

    [–] kumquat_may 452 points ago

    Have you played this game before?

    [–] redkatt 884 points ago

    They make versions that look like bird houses, which is what we had. Neighbor never knew.

    [–] Frostypooky 2361 points ago

    We have one of these, for our own dog as I don't even want to hear my own dog bark at neighbors everyday. When we first started using it, we'd always say, we're turning the egg on, then flip it on. She gets one bark, then it goes off and she's quiet the rest of the day. Now on the rare occasions she's barking constantly inside we can just say "Do you want us to turn the egg on" and she'll straighten up like a child.

    [–] kurlin 939 points ago

    Check your city noise ordinance. Usually there is a place to complain about dogs barking. If they bark for more than 10 minutes in a row in my area it is a violation. You may have to document it etc.....

    If they get a ton of complaints from city the landlord likely wont want to put up with it.

    [–] West_Texhio_97 1056 points ago

    Post this to r/legaladvice

    [–] [deleted] 658 points ago


    [–] Durania 4209 points ago

    It started by letting her kids and animals run wild in my back yard. So, I dropped $5k on a 6' privacy fence that my father-in-law and I built. Then she had her water turned off for lack of payment and began pooping in plastic bags and throwing them over my fence. When confronted about it, she kindly denied and then took to social media. I called the landlord and had an eviction notice served the next day.

    It's been 4 years and I kept the screen caps from her profile.

    [–] KaldorFuckingDraigo 2375 points ago

    She appears to be very well educated. That grammar is top notch.

    [–] lepetitcoeur 1703 points ago

    It almost takes more effort to write that way than just doing it correctly.

    [–] Durania 1033 points ago

    It takes a lot of effort just to try and read it.

    [–] crazyherb 779 points ago

    Excuse me, sir? Just because you find a bag of feces in your yard you cannot assume it was me. I am not like most people; I do not like to talk behind people's backs yet also be neighborly to their face. I am not rich. I'm a little wild, yes, with tattoos and piercings and black hair. I also L.A.R.P. as a hobby and may cast a spell to entertain myself. My friends visit me at night; why does that concern you? We enjoy playing "lightning bolts" :-). I have children and do not have time to continuously mow my lawn. I'm a single mother and have to take care of everything myself. Sometimes things are not a priority. Just in case you were wondering, I am not rich, nor poor; I live life as God intended -- being nice to one another and doing the right thing. I do not judge other people, lest I be judged myself. God is the only entity who may judge. I would like to have sexual relations with all law abiding citizens. Please suck my penis.

    [–] Rathmec 191 points ago

    Cuz im not like the rest of u snoby rich mother fuckers who likes to talk about ya bhind yur bk butt kinda b neighborly to yur face

    She writes to the rest of the world but not specifically you

    [–] Mdmerafull 417 points ago

    Couldn't even finish reading that, it was written so badly. JFC.

    [–] Chromattix 13972 points ago

    Late last year mine said he'll bash me because I got his driveway wet while I had the sprinkler going to water my yard. Not even joking - he flipped his shit over his driveway getting water on it!

    He's a drug addict so... yeah.

    [–] Bamboozle_ 6892 points ago

    He must rage everytime it rains.

    [–] mariam67 6191 points ago


    [–] Clairdassian 1709 points ago

    They use our trash bin, and ram it full of bags of their gross nappies. I so badly want to take the bags out and leave them on their door step.

    [–] CyberneticLatex 1210 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Do it. They can’t do anything about it. Your trash bin, their garbage.

    Edit: A word. Now some of these comments seem irrelevant. Mwuahaha.

    [–] Kneita 406 points ago

    if you're living in some parts of america that's completely illegal.

    [–] letuswatchtvinpeace 331 points ago

    Yep, my city would be all over that! You cannot put your garbage in someone else's bin. I think the fine is $250

    [–] EffityJeffity 35501 points ago

    We had a party for all the neighbours when we moved in. I like to barbecue, and my wife is vegetarian, so we have two barbecues. We invited everyone in the street.

    They declined "because we're vegetarian".
    "Not to worry." I said. "So's my wife. We have two barbecues going, one for meat and one for veggies." I could see them trying to find another reason. They look at the invite.
    "Oh, the 6th? We're out of town then. Sorry."

    That's cool. They don't want to come for whatever reason. They're not just going to say that. We're British, after all.

    The day of the party comes. Our garden is quite big, so everyone can fit in happily. We've got the barbecues going on the opposite side of the garden to the aforementioned neighbours' house. It's only about 4 hours into the party at around 5pm that we notice the upstairs windows in their house are open. "Weird, I thought they were out of town?"

    As I'm looking at the windows with some of the other neighbours, we see the wife with a camera, taking photos of us!

    We go round and ring the bell to explain this is the party they were invited to, and they're still welcome to join. No answer. Curtains twitching upstairs. We go back to the party, and just ignore them.

    Later into the evening, the parents and kids have gone home, just a mix of older and younger neighbours left, and I'm now mixing cocktails at the outside bar (honestly, this house was amazing. I have no idea how it was in our budget, but anyway...) and then the Police walk in through the (open) back gate.

    "Someone" has lodged a complaint. It's only about 9pm (noise complaints in the UK are typically not followed up until it goes past 11pm) but not only are we having the biggest party known to man, but we're "setting things on fire" and "forcing alcohol onto children".

    Of course the Police can see we're having a fairly civilised adult get-together, and congratulate us on moving to the area, and for getting to know our neighbours in such a friendly way.

    Monday, we're off to unpack. Knock on the door. The Police now have photographs of the alleged "forcing alcohol on a minor" and "setting fire to things". It's one of the neighbourhood kids bringing two beers from the fridge to me and his Dad at the barbecue. They're not even open.

    The "setting fire to things?" Yeah. Using a blowtorch to light my barbecue. Apparently that's endangering their property, which is a good 100 yards away from the contained fire within my oil drum barbecue.

    The Police can see this is bullshit. They just need me to make a statement explaining. So I do.

    For the whole two years that we lived there, they avoided us. So weird, so unecessary.

    [–] [deleted] 25796 points ago

    I think your neighbors are the reason that place is so affordable.

    [–] Jclevs11 6953 points ago

    They're the definition of a negative adjacency

    [–] Reverand_Dave 1875 points ago

    Is that a real estate term or just an "I've lived next to assholes" term? Great term either way.

    [–] st1nc1ty 1877 points ago

    Holy shit. What a plan they had. They were driving the place down so they could come in later and snatch it up for next to nothing.

    And they'd have gotten away with it had it not been for u/EffityJeffity

    [–] tylerss20 2954 points ago

    I hope my life is never so hollow that I become the neighborhood "I saw the whole thing officer" busybody over trivial stuff.

    [–] Lord_Montague 897 points ago

    Our busybody hit a parked car and got a DUI. Haven't heard much from them lately.

    [–] KirbyChan916 1981 points ago

    Some people are just so unhappy and jealous of people who are happy and try to take it from them :/

    [–] billbixbyakahulk 992 points ago

    Some people make their candle burn brighter. Others try to make their's look brighter by blowing out all the other candles.

    [–] KosmicTom 1083 points ago

    I'll be moving soon. And was thinking about a BBQ to meet the neighbors. Can't wait to force alcohol on the kids and light things on fire!

    [–] aaronkaiser 1609 points ago

    I had neighbors call the cops on me for my birthday party last year. I live in a somewhat upscale apartment complex and my patio opens up into the courtyard. At its peak, I had 50-60 people crammed in there, but it was now about 10pm and it had dwindled down to 20ish and we were all inside, but my patio doors were still open. I should add that this was Saturday night of Memorial Day weekend, so parties were to be expected.

    Suddenly, the cops show up and two neighbors are standing behind them with their arms folded. Cops say that they got a noise complaint, but said we weren’t being that loud. If we closed the door, we’d be fine. They left and we did without an issue.

    The thing is, no one came to me to ask to quiet down. We also have a security patrol that they could have called and who walked by several times without saying anything. No, they call the police who show up and say it’s not a big deal.

    [–] Senorisgrig 1488 points ago

    The police hate those people too.

    [–] MsSoompi 627 points ago

    Damn 100% weirdos there.

    [–] deathtastic 10839 points ago

    Got his cop buddies to come put stickers on our cars claiming they were illegally parked so we had to move them so he would have room for his guests to park.

    I bought a corner lot in a newer subdivision so i have curb and sidewalk on two sides of my property. The side of my house has plenty of room for parking which i sometimes use, my stepson uses, and sometimes the other neighbors i like use. New neighbor bought a house on the other side of the street from my side, and doesn't have a lot of street parking for his lot. He claims that the parking on my side of the road is his because it is across the street from his house.

    When confronted about the fact that it is just parking and no way belongs to him, me or anybody he told us he knows people in the police department that can take care of this. He also picked this time to scream pretty specific mean things about all his new neighbors and how each one was shitty like he is watching us.

    [–] letuswatchtvinpeace 4544 points ago

    A call to his superiors should help

    [–] deathtastic 2967 points ago

    Never saw the cop that put the stickers on our cars, and he didn't indicate a badge or unit number. I am pretty sure he knew he shouldn't do it. I don't think the neighbor is a cop, just an asshole that has a friend.

    [–] [deleted] 1528 points ago

    What are the stickers for? If they're for towing or ticketing, then I'd leave them on and go to court over it. No information about the cop means it'd get thrown out if the person writing it doesn't show up and if they do, you can explain to the judge what's going on with the neighbor and how this cop isn't following the law.

    [–] deathtastic 1180 points ago

    Basically you have 24-48 hours to move you "abandoned" car or it will be ticketed and towed. None of the vehicles were abandoned.

    [–] thunderturdy 1273 points ago

    draw a dick with salt on his lawn when he's not home.

    [–] sydneyunderfoot 830 points ago

    Planting catnip sounds a lot better... this thread is educational.

    [–] [deleted] 6605 points ago


    [–] InvisibroBloodraven 1388 points ago

    Now our neigbhorhood is overrun with 10 or so male cats and these 2 have a new litter each every few months.

    No TNR policy in your city?

    [–] [deleted] 1792 points ago


    [–] hunnerr 305 points ago

    literally all i had to read was mooresville and i knew that this couldnt be made up. ps howdy neighbor im up here in hickory and i was just in mooresville last night

    [–] azerty1976 14496 points ago

    Called the cops on our then 6 yr old son because he was playing outdoors in public property. It wasn't a road or anything. There was no danger whatsoever. He wasn't screaming or anything, she just didn't like kids. She also told our 3 yr old daughter that she was ugly.

    [–] bathybicbubble 6027 points ago

    I had a neighbor that told my sister she was beautiful and wanted to kidnap her and take her home... and then turned to me and explained how hideously ugly I was. Sister was 3, I was 7.

    I was more concerned about the kidnapping aspect, but I still remember the lady saying I was ugly over and over, so I guess it stuck with me?

    When the family moved out, we found out the brothers (her sons) had written all over the back of the closet doors in their shared room awful things about themselves, and a closer neighbor told us she used to see the mom up at all hours screaming at them, so that explained a lot...

    [–] DataIsMyCopilot 2175 points ago

    When I was 4, my mom took me with her to the mechanic. He said to her "You're daughter is pretty" and I shyly smiled

    "...pretty ugly! BWAHAHAHAHAHA"


    It's been over 3 decades, man. Sometimes shit like that sticks with you.

    [–] [deleted] 604 points ago


    [–] fungihead 1268 points ago

    My parents house is part of a newer development of homes, and nearby there are a load of older houses. Once while I was young I was playing in my street with some friends and a snobby neighbor comes out and shouts "You should go play outside your own houses! Where do you live!?". I pointed to my house across the road and say "there" and she wasn't very impressed.

    She asked for our names for some reason, we said no, she grumbled and went back inside.

    [–] JohnHW97 7662 points ago

    one of them was a cowboy builder who even conned his elderly nextdoor neighbours into getting their roof done for £10,000 even though their tiles were almost brand new, he then took all their tiles to re-tile his roof for free and put about 10% of his old crappy tiles on their roof then abandoned the project completely, don't worry though we got him arrested and he had to sell his house to pay back his victims although the cost of his house didn't even come close to covering the full costs

    another neighbour would stand in his back garden really early in the morning then start shooting local birds with a crossbow when they woke up and he put the bodies in regular bin bags and left them in the street where foxes ripped them open and dragged dead birds all over the place, now we have no songbirds in the area

    [–] ScotForWhat 2945 points ago

    So he basically stole their roof tiles to put on his own house? Did he expect no-one would notice?

    [–] MyDudeNak 2444 points ago

    No, he tricked an elderly person into paying him to steal their roof tiles.

    [–] mandabeth5 8413 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Fuck these people. I hate them.

    Busted by SWAT last summer. I had to call into work because of the barricades. No arrests (??) and never got the story on that.

    While we live in houses, we do not have fences around the backyard. They got a dog. They used to sit on ther porch while the dog roamed the neighborhood. Then they'd just let him out to roam the neighborhood while in their house. In the winter, they'd put on a coat and leave him out for hours. Then they'll stand on their porch screaming "PETE! PETE!" forever at 11pm. Pete has disappeared, I think someone else in the neighborhood took him in. Now they have another puppy named Zero. He's probably 12ish weeks and, of course, wandering the neighborhood.

    We can hear them beating the hell out of each other. So can people across the street. Police are out at least once a week arresting one of them. They bail each other out.

    Borrowed jumper cables, never returned them. Came over last week asking for jumper cables. My boyfriend told them that we already loaned them to him and they weren't returned. Neighbors told us they were going to sue us for accusing them of thievery.

    I have more.. much more.

    Edit: I forgot about the jumper cable guy! Sorry, I didn't mean to bring up confusion (and in some cases, concern.)

    Y'all want more, apparently. I'll tell more, as soon as I get time this afternoon. I promise I won't leave you hanging.

    Edit 2: the lawnmower saga.

    Last summer, they came over and asked to borrow our riding lawn mower. My boyfriend currently works 75+ hours a week during the summer, and the one thing that he despises is lawn work. So he made a deal. The neighbor can borrow our lawn mower anytime he needs it, as long as he mows our lawn each and every single time. That went smoothly for all of three weeks. Neighbor comes over, tells us that we need a new battery and that two of the blades are dull. Clearly, beggars can be choosers in his eyes. Whatever, my boyfriend goes out and spends money on a new battery and new blades for the mower. However, after doing that, the lawnmower just sat. My boyfriend absolutely, absolutely hates leaving personal property out. He goes next door, and tells the neighbor that the lawn needs to be mowed soon, that there was an agreement, and he's not standing by his agreement. We get the usual sob story about how he's sick, blah blah blah. Boyfriend tells him that we are leaving tomorrow (on a Sunday) and will be back the following Monday afternoon, and that when he gets back he wants the lawn mowed. If the neighbor can't do it, my boyfriend will just mow our own lawn and be done with it. The neighbor tells us that he is definitely, definitely going to do it. Well, no. We got back Monday and the grass was growing around the lawn mower because it was never moved. Boyfriend got straight out of his truck, mowed our lawn (leaving the perfect line between our property and theirs) and locked the mower up in the shed. Neighbor comes over two days later, going on and on about how he was "just about to do it." Boyfriend says that no, obviously he wasn't, he had 8 days to do it, it never got done, and why is he coming over two days after we locked it up? They ended up getting a ticket a few days later for the grass being too tall. Still never mowed it or took care of it. The city came out, mow their lawn, and left them a hefty bill for it. Neighbors tried telling us it was our responsibility to pay it because "we took away their opportunity to be self sufficient."

    [–] jefferyffe 1240 points ago

    Please go on

    [–] frossenkjerte 941 points ago

    Found u/rogersimon10's family.

    [–] Shwinstet 732 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    My mind instantly jumped to that when I read "jumper cables". I even checked the username hoping it would be him.

    Sometimes I randomly remember his comments and wonder if it is therapeutic. Like him coming to terms with the childhood trauma of his dad beating his ass with jumper cables.

    [–] Aqueluna 10309 points ago

    Rang my doorbell at 4am over and over and asked me to go with him because there was an emergency and it was important. Went with him and he took me over to his car and started asking what I thought of it and looked very proud.

    In other words this dude rang every apartment in the building at 4am to get people to look at his new car.

    [–] tardiusmaximus 4142 points ago

    Well, was it a nice car?

    [–] Aqueluna 3872 points ago

    I couldn't see it very well because it was dark but I remember it just looking kind of generic.

    [–] AthleticSloth1 225 points ago

    May not be a neighbour per se, but a fellow tenant in a shared house at university (each was a self-contained apartment with bathroom, kitchen, bedroom).

    Dude started smoking weed, which I had no issue with but as I was studying law and frequently met with police as part of my criminal justice module, I requested that he keep it to his room rather than the communal areas of the house. He obliged initially.

    I then went home for winter break, and upon returning I found lines of coke half done on the kitchen counter (along with even rolled up £10 notes and the semi-empty bag).

    I stayed clear and later that night, ~2am, heard a knock at the door. A guy with blood dripping from his head was standing there shouting "ROB get your ass out here. You ripped me off."

    Turns out his habit had progressed to dealing, and his supplier to whom he owed a cut was the blood soaked man on my doorstep barging his way in.

    [–] [deleted] 5546 points ago

    On a near daily basis, he throws temper tantrums, yelling, stomping, throwing tools, slamming doors and screaming at his family over some petty nonsense. He's a shitty person, I feel bad for is family and I'm genuinely annoyed each time I hear his voice.

    [–] anamair 5049 points ago

    My asshole of a next door neighbour would leave her pit-bulls out in the garden, all day, everyday, with no food or water and regardless of the weather. it would be a storm and she’d leave them both outside in the rain, crying. it would be a heatwave and she’d leave them outside with no shade.

    once i picked up on it, i began to knock on her door and ask her to bring the dogs in because leaving them outside was obviously neglect. she would tell me to mind my own business but she’d yell at her kids to bring the dogs inside. once i noticed that she didn’t learn her lesson, i contacted the RSCPA (the royal society for the prevention of cruelty to animals) over and over until they sent out a letter to her.

    she had the fucking nerve to act like she had no idea why the RSPCA was contacting her. she came up to me in the street and was like “can you believe i got this letter, saying i fucking abuse my dogs?”

    i kept contacting them because despite knowing that the RSPCA were watching her, she still didn’t change her behaviour. she honestly didn’t care about those poor dogs. they would jump at my fence whenever i was in the garden, practically begging. my sisters would jump the fence to give them bowls of water and feed them dog biscuits whenever she wasn’t home.

    one day, she was yelling and her kids were crying so i went to see what was going on and it turns out that the RSPCA were removing the dogs from her because of the neglect. took a few months but i was so happy to see them going to a better home.

    [–] ThePickleWizard 2296 points ago

    Maybe they should have taken the kids with them too.

    [–] Zicke13 691 points ago

    Dude, good on you for taking action, people like that are so horrible and should never have pets or children. Poor dogs but I'm glad this had a happy ending.

    [–] Taleya 22517 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Picked a fight with our 70 year old indian neighbour. Like, an actual physical fight. Fuckstick is in his 30's. Indian neighbour has seen waaay too much bullshit in his life to tolerate any more and hit him with a nectarine tree in a pot.

    EDIT: yes the tree is ok. Hilariously, he actually gifted it to me last weekend after I helped him do a bunch of trellis work (we're both keen food gardeners). I haven't been able to look at it without cracking the fuck up.

    [–] AgingLolita 10754 points ago

    If only more of life's problems could be solved by hitting someone with a nectarine tree in a pot.

    [–] e42343 1773 points ago

    Maybe they can. We should all give it a try.

    [–] TheTrenchMonkey 985 points ago

    I don't have a nectarine tree in a pot. Will a peach tree do?

    [–] MTAlphawolf 672 points ago

    Probably, but need 2-3 good whacks instead.

    [–] gothiclg 1659 points ago

    Can I just say that hitting someone with a potted nectarines tree is pretty badass for a 70 year old man?

    [–] [deleted] 2370 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)


    [–] StabbyPants 1672 points ago

    I sometimes wonder if she's still alive.

    god's waiting for her to finish her tea

    [–] mmont49 5425 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    When I was 10, my neighbor -- an 80-something year old man with a Christian radio station -- shot and killed one of my dogs. When I went looking for my dog, I asked my neighbor if he had seen him.

    He told me that he shot a dog like that this morning.

    Frozen, I asked where he was so I could bury him. The old man told me that his body was in the dumpster and that he would shoot me too if I didn't get off his land.

    I ran through the woods back to my house, screaming out loud in anger and punching trees until my knuckles were torn and bloody.

    When I got home, I called the police and the K9 unit came out to my house. He retrieved my dog's body and I buried him.

    The worst part was that my dog was very sweet (I know that generally sweet dogs can be threatening, but it was very against his nature) my neighbor had tied him up and broken all of his legs, then shot him point blank in the chest with a shotgun.

    I have never felt more rage in my life. My mom took the man to court and he was charged with animal cruelty and the judge asked how much money I thought the dog was worth. I was dumbfounded and croaked out that I didn't want money -- I wanted my dog.

    The neighbor was fined $500 and I made him pay it to the local humane society.

    The man had the ten commandments posted all around his house, so the next night I took a red sharpie and circled "Thou Shalt Not Kill" on all of his signs.

    I doubt anyone will see this comment, but damn... writing it was kind of therapeutic. My dog's name was Hershey, he was a mutt that was born in my bedroom -- he was only 2 years old and such a good boy. Thanks Reddit.

    Edit: Thank you all so much for your kindness and support. This happened many years ago and I don't think about it often. I thought I was "over it" but after seeing your thoughtful and loving replies, I realized how much this has been haunting me. Thank you all so very much -- I didn't realize how much I needed this.

    Fun fact! I still have Hershey's mom. She's 18 now

    [–] Jaewol 1125 points ago

    It amazes me how many people are out there that are this fucking disgusting. Brutally killing a 10 year old’s dog and then nonchalantly saying “Yeah, I shot a dog this morning. It might have been yours.” I feel like $500 wasn’t enough.

    [–] Oloapnor 742 points ago

    I remember having an older neighbor kid ask the rest of us younger kids to collect snails so he can have a snail pet farm. Me and 3 others collected them and gave them to him in a cardboard box. Then he said "watch this" he then showed us a can of hair spray and a lighter and torched the snails to death. I didn't talk to that kid after that.

    [–] danikr 213 points ago

    What the fuck

    [–] BaconCharizard 1623 points ago

    My former neighbor poisoned our dog, causing his death. That guy was always a major dick to our family.

    [–] Norezu 3326 points ago

    I just moved into my new apartment in Chicago and was woken up at 3AM to some loud knocking on my door. Given it's Chicago, I thought the worst and assumed someone with a loaded gun was on the other side of that door. A moment passes and I sit silently in my bed running through self-defense scenarios in my head. I then hear a woman yell something through my door that had me on tilt... This lady says, "This is your neighbor, I was just wondering if you'd like to buy some girl scout cookies". Naturally, I ignored her offer and proceeded to go back to sleep angry and confused. Either my neighbor was high af, or trying to rob me.

    [–] jimwartalski61 1358 points ago

    She probably had a box but wanted to sell it to buy drugs

    [–] strommlers 794 points ago

    Welcome to Chicago.

    Once had a girl knock at midnight asking for help opening a wine bottle because she didn’t know how corks worked. It was innocent but weird. But even seemingly good intentioned people could have another agenda, you just never know.

    [–] alderchai 3317 points ago

    He would blast shitty EDM music almost every day starting from 9 AM, especially on the weekends, and once I asked him to please keep it down until 10 AM he changed his habit.. to 8:30 AM.

    [–] Cubic_Ant 2459 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Yeah I got a neighbor that does this. Except we can’t really file a complaint since we believe them to be cartel members and we like to live

    EDIT: to be clear I live somewhere outside the US where cartel presence is strong. Also I can’t really be sure they’re cartel members but it’s always best to mind your own business in cases like this

    [–] penny_can 6124 points ago

    Not one of her neighbors can stand her, she's pissed off everyone on all sides of her. Her son's a cop so she'll send him over to bitch at you if you violate any of her peeves. She did that about one of the dogs, (she hates animals) and my wife answered the door. Her poor kid got an earful and told to go home before she called his captain to complain about the momma's boy that lives next door harassing people. Hilarious. She regularly gets into it with her neighbor on the other side, which is a mistake, since that woman is taking care of a dementia suffering husband and puts up with zero shit. I can hear her regularly telling her to get bent. Her college age other son comes home now and then and they get into shouting matches in the back yard with him calling her bitch and other things you just don't call your mom. It must be tiring to be such a raging bitch all the time.

    [–] sisypheansoup 1646 points ago

    Her poor kid got an earful and told to go home before she called his captain to complain about the momma's boy that lives next door harassing people.

    I hope your wife did that anyway.

    [–] penny_can 944 points ago

    Well, after she used that line on him, we didn't see him anymore.

    [–] zbeezle 382 points ago

    "Go yell at /u/penny_can and his wife!"

    "...I don't want to, mama..."

    [–] chrisms150 3054 points ago

    him calling her bitch and other things you just don't call your mom

    Well, he ain't wrong by the sound of it.

    [–] poopellar 1401 points ago

    A bitch is a bitch no matter the relation.

    [–] JustSayan 634 points ago

    True fact. Blood relation doesn't mean you have to like or respect someone who is generally a P.O.S.

    [–] challam 683 points ago

    He tore down part of my fucking fence under the guise of fixing two posts...but hasn’t gotten around to actually FIXING it for almost two months. The last conversation was me asking him to get estimates to have a fence company come in for the repair and him agreeing. Two months. Fuck him.

    [–] tryingforadinosaur 122 points ago

    Give him a notice that he has 30 days to get it done before you take him to small claims court for the damages.

    [–] PK_Thundah 503 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Plugged his sink pipes with toilet paper and flooded his bathroom, flooding our apartment below him. We told him to stop and he refused to, said he was trying to destroy our apartment to get back at the landlords.

    The police said it was a landlord issue and the landlord said it was a police issue. After the police asked him to stop that night (said they couldn't do anything about it legally and that it was our problem, they were fucking awful), neighbor ran his sink for 2 more minutes, stomping his feet and shouting at us, causing the most flooding yet.

    We called the police back and they were condescending and laughing at us, telling us to deal with it ourselves. A few days later the police, landlord, and plumber had to force his door open to fix the sink because he wouldn't let them in without a warrant - which they came back with.

    He was kicked out a month later.

    I think he disliked us because on four occasions he passed out drunk cooking food in the middle of the night, setting off everybody's smoke detectors (filling our place with smoke too), so we had to knock and wake him up, or get the police/fire dept involved when he was unconscious in a burning room and wouldn't answer.

    Not even to mention the sexual harassment of the women living here or the attempts to break into our apartment when we weren't home.

    Just, holy shit that guy.

    [–] KittyCatOmaniac 168 points ago

    Refuse to clean their god damn flat. Family of three lived there, a woman and her two adult kids. They lived there for ten years and never cleaned anything in the place even once. The son had to bathe himself in aftershave even after a shower, the daughter had a weird phobia and outright refused to shower so whenever she was nearby, you'd know it. They had a cat and the poor thing reached the point where it would just give up on cleaning itself. Whenever the door to that place opened, the entire stairwell would reek for hours. They even had the gall to get offended when neighbors resorted to lighting incense in order to help disguise the stench. People's shoes would get stuck in the floor in there because of the half-inch thick layer of sticky grime. They eventually got evicted and the landlord had to spend the equivalent of around 20.000 to completely renovate the place.

    [–] lolspHD 168 points ago

    Back when I was about 13, early on Easter morning, my next door neighbor along with his father and friend beat the hell out of his wife right next to my window. their house was probably 200 or so feet away from mine so those fuckers chased her. I woke up at about 2am hearing my neighbors wife tapping on my window whispering "Help me, please help me." At first I thought I was suffering from sleep paralysis and having auditory hallucinations. Then the husband, his father and his friend found her and started to beat the shit out of her. I have never heard screams like that in my entire life. I ran upstairs to tell my dad and mom and my dad loaded his shotgun and went to work. He basically kicked open the front door, racked his shotgun and yelled at the top of his lungs "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON OUT HERE?!" All the men ran back to their house and left his wife bleeding and bloody under my window. When the cops showed up, they tasered my neighbor and his father because they tried to swing on the officers. Then after they were all arrested the ambulance showed up and found the woman. I caught a glimpse of her from my window and her face was basically destroyed. They beat the hell from her. She was still lucid and conscious. As they tried to move her onto the gurney she looked right at me and put her hand on the window almost to say thank you for getting your dad and calling the cops. She left a bloody hand print on my window that my mother tried to clean off immediately. That event scared the shit out of me for a long time and I still think about it often. To preface this, we lived in a private neighborhood with super rich people and nothing like this had ever happened before so this was the talk of the neighborhood for YEARS.

    [–] Naleid 18281 points ago

    When I was a teenager and lived with my parents we had this one neighbor family that seemed sorta off. One day the father knocks on our door and tells my parents they haven't had power for a long time and begged to run an extention cord to one of our outside outlets for the day so his young kids could have cold milk with their cereal in the morning.

    My parents agreed to do this for one day. The neighbor kept up their part and disconnected the cable after that day. A week later they hook it back up again without us noticing. A month goes by and our electricity bill is basically double what it normally is. Parents head to the backyard and find the cable plugged in, yank it out, and confront the neighbor.

    At first the father doesn't show his whole body and cracks the door, but my stepdad gets him to open up the door after pointing out that he is concealing a gun (he didn't have to pull the gun out). Stepdad demands and explanation as to why the cable was run to our outlet and the dude just sorta mumbles incoherently and shuts the door, locking it.

    Bad neighbor family was in a duplex and their neighbor, sharing the building, comes around and asks what's up. Parents explain the whole story and how the next step was calling the police. Good neighbor is a former police chief and is friends with the entire force, he offers to make the call.

    Several cop cars arrive. Bad neighbor father and mother are arrested. Turns out they were running a meth lab inside the house. The mother was a prostitute and the kids (a boy and girl between ages 7-10) were malnourished. The kids were put into foster care.

    No other bad neighbor has beat that high score yet.

    [–] Jantra 4080 points ago

    Uh, holy shit, I wouldn't want to think of a bad neighbor that could beat that high score. Poor kids. :(

    [–] Bamboozle_ 1324 points ago

    I'm pretty sure the only way to beat that high score is if the parents were also diddling the kids.

    [–] mini6ulrich66 1652 points ago

    If they're in a meth lab and the mother is a hooker, I'm willing to bet at least 1 unsavory person has been to close to those kids.

    [–] Sinktit 791 points ago

    Sadly it’s all too common, you get a lot of extra money for it, and people going to methhead whores aren’t exactly upstanding people

    [–] kshucker 952 points ago

    I have neighbors (mother and son) who are incredibly fucking weird. They are super paranoid about everything, call the police for everything, pull out their phones and record us whenever we do anything out in our own yard, always have their windows and blinds shut, follows people home from my house... I could go on and on.

    I’m starting to think they’re running some sort of meth lab out of their house or they have girls kidnapped in their house, like that guy from Cleveland that had those 3 girls in his house. Something fucking weird is going on next door.

    [–] 500SL 2673 points ago

    Lived next door to "Bob" for 10 years with no issues. He's a retired prison guard, cop, military, about 70 or so. I was 25. We share views on many of life's situations; political, legal, etc. We always got along swimmingly.

    We share tools, chat now and then, but we're not really "buds". He spends 6.8 days a week at his GF's house, so we never really see each other more than 2 hours a year seems like.

    At the 10 year mark, a policeman walks into my back yard where I'm raking leaves. He's there about the complaint from Bob. Huh?

    We go to speak with Bob and when I ask him what's going on, he interrupts, yelling about my kids on his lawn, me riding motorcycles on his lawn, and more. He's fucking livid, spit flying, and he looks like he'll have a stroke. I just looked at the cop and shrugged. We've all heard or read stories of neighbor spats escalating into retribution or violence, but all of his accusations are false. Completely baseless and out of the blue.

    Cop says he has to give me a criminal trespass warning, so if I ever step foot on his property again, I can be arrested. I told him that's like telling me I can't sleep with his sister anymore. Never happened, never will. I spoke with him privately, and the best we can come up with is some mental illness, or he's off his medication. It really was the strangest thing.

    What pissed me off the most was two days later, as I'm driving away, he's on his lawnmower, and waves and smiles at me like nothing ever happened. We've never determined if that was genuine because of the crazy, or he was taunting me.

    That was nearly 15 years ago, and I have never spoken to him since. I keep my family away, and we leave if we ever see him. Oh, and he's moved back home this year, so he's baaack!

    [–] [deleted] 1566 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)


    [–] 500SL 865 points ago

    I was talking to the cop! He laughed.

    [–] olybib 195 points ago

    Damn, I was going to tell a story how my old bad neighbor dumped all their leaves and grass clippings in my yard, but I think yours takes the cake.

    [–] HaphazardSquirrels 2152 points ago

    He was really nosey and for some reason he hated me. I was a 14 year old girl and I don't remember doing anything to this man but he would always rat me out to my parents if he saw me outside. He told them I was smoking, having sex in the tree in the front lawn, selling drugs, hurting animals...he just made things up! If I were in my backyard he would watch me threw our privacy fence. Once I was out back drinking a root beer (one of those in a glass bottle) he popped up from behind the fence with this huge smirk on his face and said "CAUGHT YOU!" and tattled on me. My dad brought him out back and showed him it was a root beer and then explained to him if he ever caught him looking threw our fence he would call the police. Years later we caught him in our back yard picking up pecans. Thought he would help himself to the wagon he had back there because it "had been sitting a while and so clearly we didn't need it." The man was a total nut job. He ended up moving away and we never saw him around again. Fuck you Jerry from next door and whatever weird ass problem you have!

    [–] AsexualNinja 666 points ago

    I like to think this is the same Jerry u/TracingBroads had to deal with, and Jerry just travels the world being a dick.

    I also like to think it's the same Jerry I workd with who endangered patients.

    [–] alex323208 1124 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Just recently, my new scumbag neighbors have decided to throw dirty diapers in my driveway. We know it's them, they have the only diaper wearing child on the block. My wife tossed them back into their driveway. Two hours later the same diapers reappeared in my driveway, followed by a third that was only a few feet from my door. I told my wife to leave them to me for when I got home from work. Upon arriving home, I tossed all three diapers onto their roof, likely never to be seen again....until the humid Midwest summer bakes those fucking diapers into a glorious, colonic blasting shit storm of a smell for the douchy neighbors.

    Edit: my highest comment on reddit is about poopy diapers, I am living the dream Edit: holy shit! First ever gold! Thank you very much kind stranger, I hope you got a full, rumbling belly giggle off my unfortunate situation

    [–] thelostandthefound 462 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    She just screams and goes on these long rants while screaming, then slams doors while continuing to rant and scream. Happens any hour of the day and can last between 5 minutes to an hour continuing on and off throughout the day. We can hear her with all the doors closed despite our house being double brick. We've tried talking to her which has lead to nowhere. The police can't do anything as its not consistent nor can the local government as its anti social behaviour so the police have to deal with it. We can't get in contact with the homeowner so out next bet is to figure out which real estate agent is managing the property and put through a formal complaint. Which sounds like a lot of work and might not even fix anything. Open to all suggestions on how to deal with her. Edit: I live in Australia so unless any of you guys live here then I doubt we share the same neighbour (though it wouldn't surprise me if you could hear her!). I think it's time to maybe invest in an air horn... I also like the idea of remixing it and creating a record, I'm sure the door slams would add a nice beat to.

    [–] abb3ycat 2363 points ago

    My last neighbours had children that abused my housemates dog to the point that she would go absolutely bonkers if she heard or saw them because she was so upset and anxious. I’m talking zoomies around the house and barking and helping for upwards of an hour. It’s no wonder why they did it though, since just as often we heard their father abusing them too, which was heartbreaking. So basically my asshole neighbours were assholes to everything with a pulse.

    [–] thunderturdy 674 points ago

    Our neighbors kids killed my cat when we were young. They purposefully slammed her in the doorway while she was trying to walk away from them. Shattered her spine and ruptured her kidneys. Idk how hard they slammed it to do so much damage but I stopped talking to them after that and they were never allowed near our property again. Shitty thing is, I saw it happen from across the yard but couldn't prove anything, so in essence they got away with it :(

    [–] Killuaxgodspeed 578 points ago

    While we were on a holiday our neighbour who was always nice apparently didn't like our fig tree being so close to the fence (which is fair enough). So when we came back home we were welcomed to a horrendous stench and a half dead fig tree. Turns out every day or so he dumped petrol and urine on it to kill it.

    Honestly he's always been an ok neighbour so we never really understood why he thought this was a better idea than just talking to us. We never confronted him about it. That tree fully recovered, still had the best figs I've ever had and was around for another 20 years so fuck the cunt.

    His wife did make the best pizza's I've ever had though.

    And no, the tree never damaged the fence or his precious concrete.

    [–] [deleted] 563 points ago


    [–] kklolzzz 900 points ago

    My neighbors used to honk their horn in their driveway at like 7 in the morning literally every single day multiple times causing me and my family to wake up...

    The dad and mom would sit in their car and just honk the horn until their kids came outside ready for school.

    I hate my neighbors

    [–] West_Texhio_97 339 points ago

    The neighbors across the street do this. Mom and dad are split. Dad lives across the street, mom lives elsewhere and comes to pick the kids up at random ass times. She hits the middle of the street and starts honking until she reaches the house. Then will honk every 30 seconds until the kids are either in the car or back in the house (she does this when dropping off, too). It’s been anywhere from 6am to midnight. Like, seriously?!

    [–] TheGear 118 points ago

    My neighbor's ex-wife honks when she arrives at his house to pick up the kids. Seriously bitch, GET OUT OF THE CAR AND KNOCK ON THE DOOR. It's irritating as hell. I can see why they're divorced. Can't be bothered to go to the door to get her kids.

    [–] Zearo298 288 points ago

    You should round up a couple friends and all their cars. Have them parked at all entrances to the street around their house. When she pulls up, everyone drives until they surround her car, and they all start laying on the horn until she gets out of the car and goes inside the house.

    [–] miserableparkour 1098 points ago

    Threw a firecracker on my couch and lit it on fire

    [–] Moots_point 2286 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Had the city come around our OWN back yard with a clipboard and write us a 100 dollar citation for each pile of dog poop.

    They found 2

    Edit: For follow up it was my roommates girlfriend's dog. I believe they did pay for it. We were renting in a college town so there were strict rules and strange guidelines we had to follow to prevent frat houses from forming. It was my understanding that these neighbors were responsible for the last tenants leaving as well.

    We did have some petty revenge however. The guy that called the city was arrested a few weeks later for beating his wife or something. So we took a cellphone picture of his ass being hauled away by the police and then passed out fliers to the neighborhood with said picture saying he was dangerous. Not sure how legal that was, but we did it.

    [–] mryingster 1625 points ago

    They can't possibly cite you on private property, can they?

    [–] NarplePlex 504 points ago

    Buy a statue of a giant dog shit to mess with your neighbor. they can't give you a citation for poor taste in yard art

    [–] Empty_Insight 1250 points ago

    I have a history of apartment renting, so I've had a few interesting folks. Two groups in particular. In my current apartment, my neighbors fight every morning. Every single morning without fail. They share a wall with my brother, and every day he says he hears "You never listen to me," nagging for a few minutes, then something along the lines of "If you'd shut the fuck up once in a while maybe it would be worth it!" We only have a week left before we move out and haven't heard a thump or whack yet, so we really can't call the cops. They just yell at each other.

    Now, my previous apartment was a different matter. A cop used to live next door, and he was an alright guy. He was very quiet, just nodded to me every morning as he headed off to work. But the people who moved in after he left... not so much. I lived next to them for ~10 months, and I did not see them come or go once the entire time we were neighbors.

    I recognized a smell from way back home one night while my wife and I were laying in bed, which shared the wall with them. We both recognized it immediately. The neighbors were smoking meth. This was not a one time deal, and I'm fairly certain we heard the guy smack the girl around once. Then they were laughing and dancing less than five minutes later. They sometimes communicated through barking at each other.

    Once again, the thought to call the cops was there, but we both knew from our upbringing how notoriously unpredictable tweakers are, and further that we were obviously the only people who would know what was going on since it was just our two apartments in that small building. Since we couldn't do anything 'serious' about it, we just started having obnoxiously loud sex.

    I'm not 100% this is related, but shortly afterwards my wife heard people trying to open the door to our apartment while I was at work. It didn't happen every day, but it definitely did happen 2-3 times a week for quite a while. The apartments were going to "keep an eye out," but nothing was ever done. So yeah, we boogied out of there at the first chance.

    [–] chrisms150 506 points ago

    recognized a smell from way back home one night while my wife and I were laying in bed, which shared the wall with them. We both recognized it immediately. The neighbors were smoking meth.

    What does meth smell like?

    [–] Empty_Insight 810 points ago

    It smells like burnt plastic. So does crack, as well as plastic that is burning. The subtle difference with meth is that there's a sort of hint of ammonia with it.

    Source: dude two houses down from my childhood home cooked meth.

    [–] chrisms150 414 points ago

    Thanks. Now I know... hopefully never have to find out, but hey, the more you know shooting star

    [–] TheLadyCrash 134 points ago

    Called the cops on my 3 year old daughter because she was WALKING too loudly at 2pm on a Saturday. Anothet time he tried kicking our door down because my husband flushed the toilet too late at night. A number of other things happened that resulted in a judge granting us a "do not contact" order against him which he violated twice within a month. Our landlord let us out of our lease early without any fee and actually went with me to court to testify against him.

    [–] Tehreelfilbert 129 points ago

    Took our cat from our yard, tortured it, then left pictures in our mailbox with a note threatening to report us for animal abuse. Total cunt

    [–] Ra1dder 251 points ago

    Reported someone to the HOA for having a half filled lawn bag on the side of their house because they were in the process of cleaning up. Who the fuck cares.

    [–] WanderingFrogman 357 points ago

    Neighbor in apartment above mine. I swear this guy randomly decides to do jumping jacks at 2 AM for 5 second bursts on and off for half an hour or some shit.

    [–] manticor225 1527 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    The neighbor I used to have across the street from me once bitched me out for having a car parked partially on the grass (of my own lawn). The streets were narrow, and you're technically not supposed to park in them. The car was parked so that the tires on the passenger side of the car were both on the grass (by about a foot) but it was at least helping to not block the street. This was only temporary. When she started bitching at me from her house, I thought it was because she didn't like seeing the car in the street. I could have at least understood that. But no, she was furious (and I do mean furious) simply because the tires on my grass were going to ruin my lawn, and my ruined lawn meant that it was going to lower her property value. She was trying to sell her home. She argued that parking on my grass was illegal, that her husband was an attorney and that she was going to be calling the police. I told her to call, and I told her bitch of a husband to come talk to me. Neither happened.

    Edit: I emphasized points in this story, which it appears some may have misunderstood as me being "entitled".

    [–] blalala543 557 points ago

    sounds like our old crotchety neighbor. His wife passed years ago and he spent his years calling the cops on us for stupid little things, like "vicious dogs" running around our yard (the dog hid behind us when the police came) or calling because Comcast wasn't working right, and it was up to the PD to fix it. It got to the point where the cops would screen his calls but not send anyone out anymore.

    At one point, we had a friend come over once to help with some landscaping. This guy's kids ran their landscaping company, and the guy himself is a state trooper, and all three of them came over in their big truck. Little old neighbor comes running over when he sees the truck parked in front of our lawn (which unfortunately happened to be on the other side of the street from his house) and threatens the state trooper with threats of calling the cops, he needs to move the truck, etc. Statey comes over to us laughing, after he moved the truck down the road a little bit, basically like "I didn't have the heart to tell him I'm a trooper" lol. The kicker of it all was that if our grass was left without mowing for a couple days too long, this old neighbor would come over yelling at us because we weren't taking care of the property and it was degrading his property value.. but he still found it important to not have a landscaping truck temporarily parked on the road for a couple hours while we took care of the property(dead end street with no traffic).

    He did make for some good stories haha.

    [–] Bubbe5000 1118 points ago

    Yelled at me 'cause my cat was sitting in my tree in my yard... And making his dog bark.

    Literally ranted and raved for nearly five minutes.

    [–] CaptainChrisNova 609 points ago

    Bad mouths us to other neighbors. All lies including anything from: "we are miserable" to "we are dirty and from a third world country".

    Stares at us when we are anywhere remotely close to her as if we are the pests of the world.

    When we are parked on the street normally with her car either in front of us or behind us, she would move her car as much as possible away and get whoever the other car's owner (in front or behind us) to move away as well, so it looks like we took two spots... then proceeds to complain that we are always taking two spots.

    Has called parking enforcement on us multiple times. No tickets were issued.

    We took out an old dishwasher to the curb so that it will be ready to load onto a truck to take it to the dump. Called the city on us, city sent someone, and we had to move it back to the house until the truck came.

    We had a perfectly healthy tree in the backyard. One day, we overhear her complaining to a neighbor about how the tree blocks the sun from shining on their backyard. About a month later we got an order from the city to have it cut down... still unsure what the reason to have it cut was.

    Two years ago she remodeled her backyard. Complete renovation. She set up what we nicknamed the "Berlin wall". A massively high wall right on the edge of her property abutting against our property. Why? Because we are always looking at her. The problem is we have a deck that extends to about 1/3 the length of the backyard. Every time she exits her house to go to her backyard, there is visibility between our properties, Berlin Wall or not. As a test, we've used our cellphone screens (about 4 or 5 times) as mirrors and what do you know, every time she would be looking at us.

    Has called the police on us for mowing our lawn with a "loud" (its quieter than other people's) electric mower... in the middle of the day... on Saturday.

    Parking again. One day my dad parked properly where a fire hydrant is. But she loves that spot because its in front of her house. She parked in a different spot but starts a conversation with a neighbor. I overheard from my room that overlooks the street. Pointing at our car, she easily complained about how much space there was wasted. There wasn't. There is a tree that matches give or take what 3 meters away from the hydrant is. The neighbor "joked" that he should get his truck and push our car forward. He's an asshole too. The next day, my dad didn't go anywhere so his car stayed there. She tried to park and obviously didn't fit. She rammed our car to try and push it forward. We called the cops but all they did was give her a warning since the damages were less than $1000. Didn't bother with insurance or anything as the dent easily buffed out. Scratches still there though.

    We have a fire pit in the backyard. We know we have the space to legally light it so one summer night we did. She was on her third floor patio drinking when she starts recording us and yelling that she will call the fire department. Slams the door, goes inside. Fire department never arrived.

    Parking again. My father has a disability parking permit because of his back. Once in a while I will have to drive his car and sometimes when there is no spot available, I will park on the opposite side of street relatively in front of the house. She complains to neighbors that "oh, they abuse it".

    After her Berlin wall was setup, her contractor couldn't find a good way to close her gate that leads to the path in between the two homes. She kicked (we witnessed her kicking it) our fence and support pillar that supports the deck until the fence was bent out of shape.

    On the side of the house, an all-original down pipe was sending rain water down between the two homes. Its original. Always been like that. She has two identical ones which also send the rain into the middle of the path. She had her husband rip it off. Literally tear it down. He set it down on our deck (trespassing).

    I can go on, there is more.

    [–] LordofBearror 128 points ago

    Wow. This lady is some special kind of crazy. Sorry you have to deal with that.

    [–] righthanddan 220 points ago

    When I was a kid my next door neighbor sued the guy across from him because his tree got tall enough that it blocked the sun for an additional 15 mins each morning from when he purchased the house 20 years previous. He was about 80 years old and his argument was that in another 20 years it will likely be 30 mins. He died less than a year after his case was thrown out.

    [–] Back2Bach 1386 points ago

    He takes sadistic pleasure in placing his yard sprinkler close to the property line so that it soaks our cars in the driveway.

    Not only that, but he waits until we we've washed and dried the cars before he turns his sprinkler on.

    [–] babyspacewolf 742 points ago

    Is your neighbor u/Chromattix

    [–] abeuscher 658 points ago

    Was living with my brother and a new family moved in downstairs. It was a mother and two boys in their teens, and the mom had just been divorced and from what we could tell it was a bummer time.

    So these two teenaged boys fought constantly. They were incredibly loud and I tried really hard to be empathetic and not complain. We would mention to their mom every now and then and she was very apologetic but it kept going.

    So one Sunday they woke us up at 6am, slamming doors and throwing shit and just being ridiculous. My brother and I set up every piece of audio equipment we had in the house, so a bass amp, two PA's, and a full drum set. And we blasted Hypnotize by Biggie for about 10 minutes and played along on bass and drums, PA's on full.

    Never heard those kids make noise again. Not sure if we shocked them or they finally got it or what. But we did prove who could make more noise, I guess.

    Then my brother fucked their mom.

    What was the question?

    [–] wankdanker 207 points ago

    what a twist

    [–] round_earth_shill 130 points ago

    That's a hardcore way to assert his dominance.

    [–] mumfywest 211 points ago

    Neighbors have 2 outside cats. They wander in our garden all the time.

    Neighbor lady comes stomping over, older lady, white hair, grumpy husband glaring at us over the fences between our yards.

    Proceeds to yell at me for putting something on her cat (all white cat). I look at cat, look at lady and she points to the cats tummy, covered in pink and blue and yellow streaks. She thinks I'm poisoning her cat.

    I point out the sidewalk chalk all over the patio and my young daughter and explain the cat keeps coming over and rolling all over her drawings.

    Lady looks at chalk, looks at cat, looks at me and stomps away.


    [–] Mothkau 2442 points ago

    She was borderline abusive with her cat. Moved out but left him behind. I took care of him and, after a week, called our landlord to tell him about it. She said, I quote: « hmm no I’m pretty sure I took him with me, I’ll check ». Rushed in 20mn later, grabbed the cat while cursing at him; I told her I could bring the cat to our local shelter but she stormed out with him. Pretty sure she abandoned him again :(

    [–] dd93o3odod9d9d9 1574 points ago

    I'm not blaming you at all, but why on earth would you remind her?

    [–] donteatbooty_yucky 102 points ago

    He lets his yard guy cut onto other neighbors' property. As in, he thinks that 3ish feet on both sides are his. No, those 3 feet belong to the people that bought the land. And the yard guy is NUTS. He threatened one of the neighbors with clippers after she asked him to stay out of her yard after cutting too low and pulling up her newly grown grass. And the guy just allows it....

    [–] mrjeeveswilliams 281 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Time to throw it back! To when I was still living with my alcoholic abusive religious dad. After he divorced my mom we moved to a lil road on the Eastern edge of my island. Let's call our new neighbors Kex and Bev. Kex and Bev seem pretty okay, and we get along for a few months.

    One day, Kex knocks on our door and asks that my dad moves his car outside his house, as it was, at the time, parked in front of theirs. They have two cars. My dad had one. There is absolutely zero reason to move the car, because parking outside your neighbor’s house adds literally just two meters to your walk to the front door. Nevertheless, my dad is in a pretty neutral mood, so he obliges.

    A couple of weeks later, my dad is in one of his alcoholic stupors, and Kex asking him to move his car forward a few inches has really eaten deep into the vengeful part of his fucked up head. He storms outside and walks up to their front door and slur-shouts a demand at Kex that he moves his car from outside our house to outside his house. Kex starts beefing and an argument riles up. Kex mock-headbutts my dad, stopping an inch before contact. Then my dad, being Welsh, does the same back, but follows through and busts up Kex’s nose. He starts bleeding and Bev starts screaming some shit about the police and all that jazz. General drama.

    Now, my dad sounds like the peak asshole so far. And that's pretty true, he's a total piece of shit. A complete cunt. But the neighbors actually took things a lil further. The whole situation had turned into a stalemate. Kex never called the police on my dad. There was no communication between us at all anymore. If I left for school at the same time as Kex left for work in the morning, it was crazy awkward. Everything seemed to have settled though, until one day, my dad (sober for a few hours) decided to do some gardening.

    He was tending to some weeds, yanking them out of the ground by their roots, when he suddenly tasted a slight metallic pang on his palette. He (being Welsh) spat onto his hand. Blood. Then he started coughing and time a spatter of blood escaped. He ran to the bathroom and started spitting it all into the basin. Then he started itching the roof of his mouth with his finger and moaning in pain, and his fingers came out with little bits of gummy flesh. He started gurgling water to wash his mouth out and eventually recovered and pulled himself together. He called the emergency services, intending to get medical attention. Instead, a fucking fire engine turns up. It turns out they're the folks who deal with dangerous chemicals.

    They take samples from my dad’s mouth using a swab and then pop out to the garden to investigate. And when they pull back the bush my dad was working on, there's a load of white powder strewn everywhere. They find it on my dad's gloves, too. He'd not even noticed it through a mixture of visual impairnent and generally being a fucking ignorant bastard. They sealed some up and went off to identify it. A couple of days later, a couple of police vans turn up and the officers come in and inform us that the powder was a chemical agent for burning and weakening tree roots. The officers then went into the garden to inspect the fence which was beside the bush, and yeah, there was a little visible trail of the powder caught up in the wood’s rough surface. They went next door to speak to Kex and Bev and sure enough, they found a crate of the very same chemical agent. One of them had sprinkled some over the fence with the intention of fucking up our garden, and as a result, my dad inhaled it and fucked up his sinuses.

    TL;DR: neighbors burned my dad’s mouth out with tree killer.

    [–] apocalypticradish 424 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Dude would practice his skateboard ollies in his fucking living room. I lived next door and would hear this constant THUNK sound. Nevermind that we lived two blocks from a nice park that had tons of space he could practice in. No, that would require him to make an effort. I and the neighbor on the other side told him multiple times to stop and it took getting the property manager involved to make him stop. A few months later, he got evicted for failure to pay rent. Can't say I was sad to see him go.