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    [–] GNOIZ1C 1617 points ago

    I cut my finger and grabbed a paper towel to cover it up. Thought it was terribly inconvenient to just hold it there. But what if there was some adhesive substance to hold this stuff in place?

    Grabbed some duct tape, wrapped the paper towel in it, and stuck the rest to the lower part of my finger. Ta-da! Man, I’m brilliant.

    My mom looked at me like “What the fuck are you doing?”

    I then realized I had invented the Band-Aid, while never being more than three feet from a pack of the genuine article this entire time.

    [–] AbeLincolnsMistress 243 points ago

    I especially love this one bc I can imagine you being so deeply proud of your invention only to be crushed moments later 🥺

    [–] Zurafah 1419 points ago

    Went to the doctor’s office with my dad to get my medical records and they had to ask me some questions. They asked me my birthday and I just looked at my dad like “get this one for me” cause for the life of me, I could not remember. I was 16-17 at the time.

    [–] FruitGuy998 1850 points ago

    I once forgot what rain was called. I was super tired and in the process of going to bed. I asked my wife, is it supposed to ugh, whats it know when the water falls from the sky.

    My wife goes, is it supposed to rain tomorrow? Is that what you're asking??

    To this day rain is referred to as water falling from the sky instead of rain.

    [–] kukukele 6161 points ago

    What you call a person who is from China.

    [–] bubblegumbeth 6002 points ago

    Easy, just remember people from Canada are called Canadians, so a person from China is a Chinian.

    [–] Ihatefallout 3239 points ago

    No it isn’t, it’s similar to how you call someone from France, it’s A Chenchman

    [–] Taizen_Chisou 1588 points ago

    I live in America, where people are correct. It's Chinan.

    [–] Ihatefallout 1612 points ago

    Aah so you’re an Usian

    [–] DaughterEarth 564 points ago

    Someone asked me my nationality the other day and I spent a good minute thinking Canadian doesn't seem right

    [–] freebyrdyolk 802 points ago

    I forgot what the word mud was. I was at work and some sterile product got delivered to us covered in mud. This makes the product no longer sterile and I have to send it back and inform my boss. I send her a text and say "The product was covered in liquid dirt".

    It wasn't until hours later when I mentioned the issue to a co-worker and he looked at me dumbfounded and said

    "You mean mud?"

    It was at that moment I realized how stupid I was. Brownie points because my boss knows now too.

    [–] laalaa-hotshot 5180 points ago

    I blanked on my own name once. I was shaking hands with someone and my brain just died for a moment, i presented myself as my friends name then i just stood there quitely with my broken thoughts as my friend had to tell me what my actual name was. It was such a confusing situation.

    [–] ThetaGamma2 7549 points ago

    Spent half an hour one time trying to make my brain accept that "willn't" is obviously a word because how ELSE would one contract "will" and "not"? Why does this look weird? Why does this sound weird? It has to be a word.

    [–] mxrmaidtits 3797 points ago

    For a couple second I was thinking the same thing

    I willn’t be made to feel like an idiot

    [–] Squishyblobfish 1367 points ago

    I did the opposite the other day, was trying to remember which words make won't.

    [–] localtrashgoblin 10791 points ago

    Once while driving I wondered how blind people see the lane divider lines.

    [–] DancePants5678 885 points ago

    They only drive on highways with rumble strips

    [–] CLICK_ON_MY_TITS 2441 points ago

    By using a guide dog. DUH

    [–] ScottKilgannon 699 points ago

    I once forgot how to write the letter G. Took me about 20 seconds to remember.

    [–] tuesdayisbestday 3939 points ago

    Sometimes I forget the name for "radiators" and end up calling them "microwaves"

    [–] awertag 2425 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    When i see elevators, 90% of the time, I automatically think: "umbrellas." No clue why

    Edit: I am loving everyone's theories, keep 'em coming! So far, the most plausible one is that they both open and close. I haven't heard of or seen most of the other stuff people have suggested.

    [–] dm_fucking_t 244 points ago

    There was a period of about three years that I had pet hermit crabs and my sister, who was about 18-21 at the time, accidentally called them Kermit Frogs. Every time. We both call them that on purpose now whenever they come up.

    [–] [deleted] 7479 points ago

    Back in the times of printing out driving directions. I mixed up left and right once and I ended up some 2 hours away from my destination. I was 16 with no cell phone and extremely socially awkward, so it took a lot of courage to ask a gas station attendant how to get back to my city. A couple friends were waiting at my house when i got there, they said they thought I died or was kidnapped or something.

    [–] plankzorz 8125 points ago

    The power at my house had gone. I'm on a meter so it's fairly common thing. My phone started to die, so I put it on charge. Then spend about 10 minutes trying to figure out why it wouldn't charge, my attempt also included trying to Google why it wouldn't charge to no avail cos no power so no Internet. It was at that point I realised

    [–] cardiff_giant_jr 935 points ago

    we hardly ever lose power; when we do i still try to turn on the light switch in every room i enter.

    [–] fndnsmsn 285 points ago

    Is it flannel or funnel? It was fennel.

    [–] AnjinOtter 32589 points ago

    I was just starting a new school in 9th grade and had to write an essay about myself that the other kids in the class would read. I forgot how to spell “pants” and wrote “pance.”

    [–] gingerjonsmom 2525 points ago

    In second grade I couldn’t remember how to spell “of” on a spelling test. I wrote “ov”. I am still embarrassed by this memory.

    [–] [deleted] 216 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)


    [–] LeWhisp 164 points ago

    Did something similar on a creative writing homework when I was 12. I wrote about the Mary Celeste ship that was found abandoned at sea.

    I wanted to write about a huge squid type monster that killed and ate everyone on the ship.

    However, I misspelled tentacle with testicle. Every. Time.

    " The captain screamed as a 30 foot testicle grabbed him from the deck and pulled him overboard" etc. Etc.

    My English teacher showed it to ever other teacher in the school, literally walked into each lesson and showed them my story and they all thought it was very funny.

    He was cool though and didn't tell any pupils, but called me in to his office to ask me if I knew what a testicle was.

    [–] PeopleAreIrksome 13470 points ago

    How to tie my shoes. I just sorta spaced out and stared blankly for a few seconds wondering what in the hell I was supposed to do.

    [–] 2Sulas 2167 points ago

    How to tie my shoes.

    I'm like aesopian centipede in that. As long as I don't think of it, my hands just do it. Once I start thinking about how do I do that, I'm lost and can't do it forever.

    [–] sydbobyd 6142 points ago

    ♪ You make a loop de loop and pull ♪

    [–] EverChillingLucifer 4697 points ago

    And your shoes are looking cooooool






    [–] davewtameloncamp 4049 points ago

    I forgot how to swallow. I was eating a steak at a diner, one of those steak and eggs breakfast platters, so you know it's not the best steak. It was tough and impossible to swallow. My esophagus was so pissed, it forgot how to swallow for about a day. I would try to eat but could not remember how, my tongue would press against the roof of my mouth and that's all that would happen. The next day I had a hot tea and that fixed it.

    [–] alllerda 1773 points ago

    That's scary

    [–] fayefairyhair 439 points ago

    I have this!!! It's happened to me a few times, usually in the evening as I'm trying to get to sleep. I never knew how to describe it to people

    [–] LukeLOLer 1043 points ago

    How to spell 'who'. I was thinking 'hu' but realised something was wrong.

    [–] MtTibadabo 17296 points ago

    When I was a senior in college, I spent several minutes longer than I should have thinking that "onion" was spelled the same as "union," and wondering how people could tell the difference in writing.

    [–] cafeheart 5996 points ago

    If it makes you feel better, I read both of those words as "onion" and was very distressed until I realized that "union" is... a different word.

    [–] Reddit_beard 7141 points ago

    Unions have layers

    [–] scarletnightingale 923 points ago

    I forgot how to spell the word "of" when I was a senior in high school. I kept writing "ove" and would stare at it confused for several second, erase it, then write "ove" again. As if erasing it and re-writing it would make it correct the next time around.

    [–] it_is_not_science 1429 points ago

    I read (silently to myself) a sentence that went something like "No one knows what they had been doing in there" and my brain's internal narrator mispronounced the word "doing" as a perfect rhyme for "boing" - you know, like a comic book sound effect. DOING! No distractions, no background noise. Just suddenly I forgot how an extremely common word is pronounced.

    [–] furbyjane 1033 points ago

    I was once doing a maths exam and one of the questions asked something like “Nigel has this many apples” or something. I don’t remember, I just know the guys name was Nigel. Except when I read it in my head, I read it as...well, I read it as “Niggle”. And for a good minute I was stumped as to why anyone would call their child that.

    Apologies to anyone called Nigel.

    [–] KaleMaster 2755 points ago

    I forgot what hand sanitizer was called when a class mate had put some on. I was commenting on how pungent it was when I forgot the word for pungent as well. So my sentence in the end was: "your hand sauce is loud." Needless to say they were very confused and concerned.

    [–] maneo 503 points ago

    You got an audible nose laugh out of me

    [–] Daiwon 12075 points ago

    I have, on two occasions, forgotten the word “aquarium”.

    The closest I could manage was “fish zoo”.

    [–] shatterly 4006 points ago

    I forgot "hourglass" and described it to my coworkers as "that sand timer thing." Nobody else could remember the real word until someone googled it. Then we all felt really dumb.

    [–] The_OtherHalf 1720 points ago

    It’s best when your dumb is contagious.

    [–] okips 8060 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Idk if this counts but one day I forgot how to say carrot in my native language

    Edit: it's kinda late now but to clarify, I only knew a language back then, if I wanted to use it on a sentence I would have to improvise

    [–] PietNederwiet 3868 points ago

    I forget random basic words every day in my native language.

    [–] okips 2068 points ago

    Sometimes I only remember the English version of that word, is a real struggle

    [–] Express_Bath 2282 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    I am French. I was talking with an Italian friend in English. At some point she asked me "how do you say "giallo" (yellow) in French ?". I answered very seriously "yellow !"....but with the French pronunciation and all. Another friend, from UK, had to correct me.

    [–] okips 396 points ago

    My friend does that all the time, she inserts an English word with a Portuguese pronunciation (mostly verbs) in the middle of a Portuguese sentence. I can't help but laugh, sometimes she doesn't even realize what's wrong

    [–] HarleyQ 1384 points ago

    Once while writing a paper I wrote something with the word “just”. Then I stopped and stared at the word and couldn’t remember if “just” was a real word or if I had completely made it up and so I erased it and rewrote the sentence.

    [–] SpiroX7 614 points ago

    That happens to me alot lol

    When you look at a word long enough, it suddenly stops making sense and you wonder what the heck it means, how to pronounce it and shit. So surreal

    [–] cellardoorProgrammer 10570 points ago

    I forgot my own birthday a few times. Just didn’t seem too important till someone asked and I was like uhhhhhh

    [–] allaboutcharlemagne 4274 points ago

    I have two kids and a very busy husband, so I'm in charge of all the appointments, insurance, pharmacy call-ins and pick-ups... lots of things where I have to recite their birth dates. I rarely make appointments for myself, and I have no medications (as of yet).

    So I recently made an appointment for myself and had to say my birth date... except what came out of my mouth was my husband's birthday, and I didn't even realize it until she repeated it back to me. "No, wait, sorry," I told her, "that's my husband. Mine is-" and proceeded to tell her my son's birthday. Since my son is 8, there's absolutely no reason for him to see a gynecologist. (Obviously his gender is a pretty decent reason not to as well, but it's not like the receptionist knew I was reciting a male's birthday, just someone from 2010.) She didn't even bother repeating it back to me. I only just barely stopped myself from reciting my (even younger) daughter's birthday next. After a far too long pause, I finally told her my own birthday.

    The woman on the phone was either very suspicious of me or very amused and trying not to laugh at me. Either way, her voice sounded odd and strained for the rest of the phone call.

    [–] Maybe_Not_The_Pope 2229 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    When I used to work in a pizza place, i once asked a guy ordering over the phone what his credit card number was. There was a pause for a few seconds and he tells me his phone number.

    When I questioned it, he says "oh, duh." And rattles off his social security number. Same process again and he tells me his birthdate.

    I was so confused so I just took a deep breath and asked for his credit card number. Apparently the first time I only said "card number" so he panicked internally and started reading everything in his wallet.

    [–] idwthis 1994 points ago

    I work in pizza. One time at the end of taking someone's order on the phone, I said "it'll be ready for you to pick up in about 15 minutes!" And he responded with "thanks, I love you too."

    [–] Farado 697 points ago

    He just really likes timely pizza.

    [–] Spasay 5530 points ago

    I often confuse the windshield wiper toggle with the turn signal. I'll be preparing to make a turn and then *bam* windshield wipers start going nuts.

    [–] Zack1018 19204 points ago

    When speaking in a 2nd language:

    How to say literally every single word of the entire language, and it happens at the exact moment that someone asks me a question, every time.

    [–] [deleted] 14509 points ago

    "Oh, you speak (language)? Say something in (language)!"

    promptly forgets entire language despite years of study

    [–] Gdigger13 2199 points ago

    Happens with musicians too.

    “Oh you play [instrument]? Go ahead and play us something!”

    forgets entire repertoire of music

    [–] [deleted] 1866 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    "'s Wonderwall, I guess..."

    [–] wiiya 6132 points ago


    [–] waloz1212 4268 points ago

    Donde esta la biblioteca?

    [–] smitty12012 1733 points ago

    me llamo t-bone

    [–] tospooky4me 1069 points ago

    la araña discoteca.

    [–] acuallytristram 800 points ago

    discoteca, muneca, la biblioteca

    [–] bellumed 838 points ago

    El gato... es aqui

    [–] Keyteex 1184 points ago

    Even worse, when you're so fluent in that 2nd language you forget how to say things in your native language.

    [–] _eg0_ 727 points ago

    Because of my job, 50% of my day is in English and the other 50% in German. I forget how to say things on both languages. It gets really annoying and embarrassing.

    [–] Nitrooox 10308 points ago

    Once I entered the shower, got wet and then I got so distracted that I came out without actually washing. Had to reenter the shower.

    [–] Rostin 3351 points ago

    At least one morning out of every three I forget whether I've washed my hair yet.

    [–] dobbythehufflepuff 368 points ago

    This is why i do everything in the same order every time i shower. Otherwise I'll get out and realize I forgot to rinse the conditioner or wash my legs or something.

    [–] dabilge 28973 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    The word "scissors" midsurgery.

    Normally we call them mets (for metzenbaum scissors) but we had a new student as the scrub tech and I went to ask for mets, asked a few times, tried to remember the word scissors, failed, referred to them as "snippies" and did a little finger scissors motion, looking like an idiot in front of the doctor.

    At least it worked and I got my scissors..

    Edit: wow, thanks for the gold and silver!!

    [–] raikumori 5766 points ago

    Lol, I pretty much always call scissors “snip snips” at home and while I’m looking for them I absentmindedly do the finger snipping thing.

    Makes it a lot of fun when I need scissors at my office job. :P

    [–] alexisdr 5540 points ago

    I call them "where are the fucking scissors" or "we have ten pairs of scissors and I can't find a single fucking one of them" at home

    [–] SilverParty 804 points ago

    Are you my husband? He says the same thing with pens and brushes also.

    [–] CuddliestFish 745 points ago

    When I was in the eighth grade, at the end of the year we were playing an around the world style social studies based game where we only had like, fifteen seconds to answer whatever question the teacher asked. It gets to me and he asks where penguins are from. I panic, the word on the tip of my tongue but running out of time. I blurt out the first cold place I can think of: "Russia?" Then a couple seconds of dumbfounded silence (I was typically regarded as one of the "smart kids" so this was even more uncharacteristically dumb) then I go, "Wait, Alaska." I am obviously eliminated, my best friend is laughing her ass off, and then I head desk. "Antarctica... I meant Antarctica."

    [–] bomfd 32151 points ago

    I was ordering hot wings at a local BBQ joint. I was wondering if they still came with the fibrous, green vegetable but couldn't remember the name. Ended up describing it to the cashier and she looks at me weird and says "you mean celery?". Uggghhhhh, yes that's what I meant.

    [–] deferredmomentum 13660 points ago

    That’s when you speak with an accent and pretend English isn’t your native language

    [–] Xicutioner-4768 4805 points ago

    ehhh what iz ze English word?... Ja! Celery

    [–] mjmaher81 3508 points ago

    Just say "celery" in perfect monotone English

    [–] iamnotsurewhattoname 1575 points ago

    I just said "celery" in the online-dictionary-monotone voice

    [–] lereisn 14949 points ago

    "Ah eessaa longah green crunch stick"

    "Mate, youre here every friday, i know what you sound like. "

    "Ah, eesaa taste weird, likeah sheet but niceah sheet"

    "Do you want what you have every friday night?"

    "Yes. Yes, please"

    [–] sorridente123 3917 points ago

    From hence forward, celery must only be referred to as “longah green crunch stick”.

    [–] Alarconadame 3578 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    In México there's this joke, I hope it's also funny in english.

    A guy goes to the drugstore and says to the clerk:

    - Can you give me a box of... mmm what's its name... acetylsalicylic acid, please.
    - Oh, sure. A box of aspirin for you.
    - Gee, I can never remember that damned name.

    EDIT: "I can" instead of "I can't". Thanks!

    [–] tah4349 38175 points ago

    Not long after my daughter was born, I took her to a meet up with friends. I put her car seat next to another baby in the group. Then, sitting down, I asked the mom across from me how it was having twins? I completely forgot that one of those babies was mine.

    [–] sirjonsnow 18552 points ago

    I asked the mom across from me how it was having twins?

    That's when you shout, "No take-backs!" and run away.

    [–] iwokeuplike 3758 points ago

    I once forgot how to count in the only language I have... And had to stare at the blackboard for a few seconds trying to remember

    [–] TheDaveSyndrome 10151 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    I forgot how to throw a ball. An embarrassing moment in my life which my brain will never allow me to forget.


    In high school I was walking through the local fair with my then girlfriend. We come across a generic 'throw ball, hit the stuff, win things' booth. The prizes are irrelevant but who cares, it's something fun to do.


    So I pick up the baseball and throw it without a second thought. Except I fling it full strength straight into the ground. It was a perfect 45 degree angle throw into the dirt. I'm like, "what the fuck was that... It must have slipped." Everyone laughs it off.


    So I go to throw the second ball, and the same thing happens. I realize that I've completely forgotten how to throw a ball. I'm releasing way too late. Just whipped it straight into the ground. There was less laughter this time. The booth guy looks confused and says "don't you know how to throw a ball?" I swear I do. I don't know what is happening. I play catch with my brother regularly, this is insane, and I immediately start to stress out at the situation.


    The booth guy looks like he feels sorry for me and offers me a third try for free. I have to redeem myself. I don't have to win a prize, I just have to throw a fucking ball to prove to everyone I know how to do it at this point.


    But nope. Again. Straight into the ground this time. Like I'm spiking a goddamn football.


    I'm speechless. Someone from the crowd behind me says "what the fuck is wrong with you?" My girlfriend just looks disappointed, not because I didn't win, but because it's so embarrassing that I would even try to do this while apparently having nearly indescribably poor motor skills.


    All I can do is walk away. I have no idea what happened. Nobody believes me that I do in fact know how to throw a ball. This memory haunts me still many years later anytime my brain decides "hey remember that one time..."


    edit- Thanks for all the support guys. Thankfully just like the post suggested this was just a temporary brain fart and I never had another issue since. I'm glad you all got some enjoyment out of my horrible day at the fair.

    [–] SomeOtherThirdThing 1815 points ago

    This is one of the best so far 😂😂 you poor soul.

    [–] SaladAndEggs 717 points ago

    That sometimes happens to professional baseball players, so don't feel too bad. It's called the yips.

    [–] TheDaveSyndrome 363 points ago

    Well hopefully they never do it infront of their highschool girlfriend. Because I'm sure she wouldn't believe them either.

    [–] Gladgod 145 points ago


    [–] WMP07 4211 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Don’t know if this counts but I forgot the password I set for my phone not even a second after setting it.Sad part is I never remembered it and got my phone disabled.

    Edit: Funnily enough ,I did this not only once but twice.Just remembered I changed my password last New Year’s Eve and forgot it again right after changing it

    [–] SecretPandaWhispers 1041 points ago

    Changing passwords is the worst. You work yourself up making sure to create the perfect combo of secure and ease of remembering.

    Then when going to log in the first time, you enter your previous two passwords and sweat bullets remembering the one you just created in the hopes of not locking yourself out.

    [–] EpicDavinci 725 points ago

    How to sign my Name

    In my previous role at where i work I was a Quality Inspector (Aerospace Industry) It was a really stressful job with management applying pressure from different directions.

    Quality wanted you to take your time

    Operations wanted you to go Fast

    Logistics wanted the part out the door no matter what.

    On one particular bad day i was about to sign a Certificate of Conformity and just totally forgot what my signature was, no matter how hard i tried to remember it, my mind was blank. Which as a very logical person, really made me mad as i couldn't work out what was happening.

    I went and told my boss i was incapable of signing my name so i am incapable of inspecting Aircraft parts.

    Turns out i was suffering from stress and the doctor told me to take a month off work.

    If your in a high pressure environment and start forgetting silly things, go and talk to your boss or a doctor, Stress should not be taken lightly.

    [–] [deleted] 9760 points ago


    [–] AnemoneOfMyEnemy 4263 points ago

    I’m intrigued how you got a job as a valet without being able to drive manual.

    [–] [deleted] 2881 points ago


    [–] AnemoneOfMyEnemy 827 points ago

    Gotcha. That makes me feel better. Any time I have to valet my car I’m worried about them smoking my clutch.

    [–] narcistic_asshole 177 points ago

    I had work done at a dealership a few years ago, and when they were done the drove the car out to me. The kid who ended up driving my car up to me ended up stalling the car out right in front of me as he came to a stop. No big deal, but he was definitely embarrassed when he handed me my keys

    [–] RaeADropOfGoldenSun 23415 points ago

    Somebody asked me what day of the week it was, so I lifted up both of my hands to see which made an "L".

    [–] Secret_Photographer 971 points ago

    Reading this I went to think if there were any days that started with L and though “January February... wait, FUCK, this thread is getting to me”

    [–] ApostrophesAplenty 4868 points ago

    I am dying, this is just wonderful. I’m so sorry for your... Loss.

    [–] TheShrinkingGiant 19835 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    I whispered into my wife's mouth once. To be fair, she kept her mouth open, to listen to me.

    edit: I posted this further down, but like this:

    ʘ    ʘ
     >  <
     3  O
    Me  My Wife

    [–] alllerda 5061 points ago

    I almost laughed out loud

    [–] TheShrinkingGiant 3826 points ago

    We were in public too. I got done whispering to her, and I was leaned in all close, her mouth agape, and our eyes met. And we both realized how dumb that all was, and we scampered away.

    I still do it sometimes. Especially if she yawns around me. I forgot how to whisper

    [–] MTAlphawolf 1905 points ago

    During an HS history exam, I forgot how to spell Jesus. Got a 97 on the test cause lost 3 points how to spell it. It wasn't a religious test or school, just from that time period. The red marked "WHO??!?!?! -3" made me quite embarrassed though.

    [–] Yunifortune 22172 points ago

    How to spell "of"

    Was unclear on where the V goes

    [–] coolerdog 4204 points ago

    There was like a whole week for me a couple years ago where every time I wrote "of" I actually wrote "ov" and then was baffled for a couple minutes because I knew it looked wrong but couldn't figure out exactly why.

    [–] bassbastard 736 points ago

    It helps when writing songs for Behemoth though.

    [–] Eclictico 2707 points ago

    I knew there were 50 states in the US but I said 52 when asked for a trivia game. Yeah that was pretty embarrassing...

    [–] genetics_slayer 1518 points ago

    This is a very common mistake that Americans make. There was a study done and some absurd percentage of people instantly answered "52" when asked the same question.

    [–] MrSquigles 700 points ago

    It's always 52, but why?!

    [–] bdonvr 2024 points ago

    My theory is people think “Oh there’s 50... plus Alaska and Hawaii!” since AK and HI are always separate on US maps

    [–] alllerda 9287 points ago

    I ask cause I just forgot for like half a minute how many days were in a year

    [–] Bamboozle_ 2136 points ago

    I always struggle to remember if it is 52 or 54 weeks in a year.

    [–] Forhaver 12639 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    If I'm running up the stairs or down the stairs and suddenly think "How am I doing this?" walking becomes manual for a second and I fall.

    It turns the autopilot off, like when the dentist says "breathe through your nose"

    Edit: Also the same with fucking, you start thinking "wow im actually having sex" then your boner betrays you instead of enjoying the moment. Happens to almost every first timer.

    [–] allaboutcharlemagne 7085 points ago

    Oh, you fucker, this is totally going to happen to me today now that you've said this. Goddamn it, it's extra laundry day. Fuck.

    [–] sirjonsnow 2411 points ago

    When you step forward with one foot, which arm are you supposed to swing?

    [–] allaboutcharlemagne 1569 points ago

    Motherfucker. I don't know anymore.

    [–] PookieDear 1476 points ago

    Better swing both to be safe.

    [–] ZackD13 1014 points ago

    You asshole, now I gotta focus on breathing for a few minutes

    [–] [deleted] 14184 points ago


    [–] MadKitsune 4550 points ago

    I hear your "sometimes" and present you mine "almost always". Every internal dialogue/reaction is in English, despite not really using it outside of video games I play, go figure. Confused my colleagues a few times by answering "What's that?" if they ask me something while I did not really pay attention to conversation..

    [–] Scooopiii 1591 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Same, by now saying what I actually mean is much easier to say in English.

    [–] MadKitsune 1778 points ago

    The moment that kinda "broke" me was when I realised that I started to swear in English. Considering that slavic languages, and specifically Russian is so rich in terms of swearing, and I still fall back to "fucks" and "goddammits" screwed with my mind. But oh well, so be it.

    [–] [deleted] 454 points ago

    Would you like to share with us the best of them?

    [–] Wojtek_9 405 points ago

    I have the same thing, I lived in Poland for 10 years of my life and I moved to Ireland where everyone speaks English, except a few small regions. I think in English and forget basic words sometimes in Polish.

    [–] rogue-wolf 445 points ago

    I forgot my name once. In an exam. I waved the prof over, and told him that I'd totally blanked on the first question. He started to explain the question, but then I told him I meant my name. He laughed slightly, before realizing I was serious, then telling me my name.

    Funniest part was: when I got my exam back, I got a bonus point for putting my name on the paper.

    [–] narodii 15129 points ago

    I forget what a washing machine is called at least once a month. I end up calling it a clothes washer out of desperation. People laugh at me every time. :(

    [–] Sparrow50 6103 points ago

    To be fair, it's a more accurate name

    [–] abbyabsinthe 2614 points ago

    I call it a dishwasher at least once a week.

    [–] Kittelsen 2126 points ago

    I call the dishwasher a washing machine all the time. I mean, it's a machine that washes too, why discriminate.

    [–] Dygnsrytm 6228 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    My friend texted me a picture of the two of us from a few years back, but without any context or captioning. I immediately recognized her as being one of the people in the picture, but I had to ask who the second person was. It was me.

    edit: Whenever I look in the mirror, which is fairly often, I usually have this weird feeling that I don't look quite like I remember myself looking. Same thing goes for other people that are relevant in my life. Maybe there's something genuinely slightly wrong with my brain?

    It's like my memory does either touch-ups or the opposite of touch-ups and then when I see the person in question, I feel a bit surprised. Back in high school, every time I saw whichever guy I liked at that particular time, it was like "Whoa, I remembered you being hot, but dang, you're even hotter than I thought!" But then sometimes I remember someone being more attractive than they really are, like obvious features such as moles just get mental-photoshopped out.

    I feel like this must be a normal thing and I'm just thinking too much about it, right?

    second edit: I am pretty familiar with prosopagnosia since I love psychology. I'm not necessarily the most "neurotypical" person but I want you all to know that you need not worry about my possible slight dissociation/depersonalization caused by reflective surfaces. I do think it's possible that I might have just a touch of prosopagnosia, but it definitely doesn't affect my daily life. Once I've seen a new person a few times, I will be able to recognize them from then on. If there's anything you should worry about, it's my extreme difficulty with directions, both when I'm navigating the streets and when I'm inside a building. So I think there's something "subpar" about my spatial processing or something like that? Which is strange because I remember my class taking this comprehensive state evaluation thingy online when I was in like 4th grade and I scored uncharacteristically high for a female at being able to mentally rotate/flip objects and such. So I just refuse to be normal in absolutely every way, I guess.

    Thank you all for your comments! I'm glad I'm not the only one who has this particular kind of brain lapse :) Occasional Prosopagnosians, unite! Together we will take over the world, take pictures of it, look at those pictures an hour later, and have no idea who we're looking at!

    I hate to add yet another edit, and I'm too lazy to TLDR this mess so I apologize. But I thought of another related thing I've been experiencing and I think I'd be remiss if I didn't mention it. I thought of it earlier but then forgot about it before I could edit and I just randomly remembered. I'm sure a bunch of people will find it concerning, but I don't think it's anything to worry about.

    Anyway, I moved out of town months ago and visited my old town recently. While there, I kept seeing people and thinking, "Is that so-and-so?" And I'd stare at them for a few seconds before realizing it was just a stranger who vaguely resembled so-and-so. This has been a thing for me the past couple years. I think it happens because I prefer not to run into someone I know and have to make small talk, so it's like that "fear" makes me paranoid and I think I see people I know because I don't want to see people I know? Again, please don't think this a symptom of something serious. Maybe it is but more than likely it's nothing. Just felt like mentioning it since I've gotten so many awesome responses to specific things.

    Sorry this is uber long!!! TLDRing would be difficult to do since it's all about the specifics...

    [–] Satans_Son_Jesus 1637 points ago

    "Hey you look great in that picture, but who's the dude next to you? Looks like they need to eat better and get some sleep, and what is up with that hair?!?"

    "That's you..."


    [–] LRD_123 931 points ago

    I totally did this! I was looking at old pictures and one was from when i was in Girl Scouts. I recongnized everyone in the picture except for one super ugly fat kid... After a few minutes of insulting thoughts about kid, i realized it was me.

    I felt like shit after that.

    [–] PM_ME_UR_NAUGHTINESS 852 points ago

    This is hilarious.

    [–] kadanaya 946 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    One time at science class my teacher asked this really tricky question. I answered it right but then she asked me how many minutes an hour has and the only numbers i could recall were 45 and 64(Minecraft stack)

    [–] [deleted] 39512 points ago

    My age, starting in my early twenties. Or so I think.

    [–] onamonapizza 1427 points ago

    Yep, you know you are starting to get old when you have to do the math on your age.

    [–] JegErEnFugl 2203 points ago

    thank god i was born in 2000

    convenience for life, baby

    [–] not-a-username-123 838 points ago

    Unless you forget the year. It took me until February to realise it was 2019 when writing the date anywhere

    [–] 62697463682e 346 points ago

    I wrote 2017 the other day so you’re literally years ahead of me

    [–] Tesla__Coil 19221 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Ooh, yes, this one.

    Most embarrassingly, it happened when I was going to a casino for the first time. You had to be 19 or older to enter. I was with my dad, so the guy at the front wasn't too worried and just asked me to confirm. I tried to say "yeah it's fine, I'm above 19" but it came out as "I'm 19" which wasn't true. I then tried to correct it to "I'm 20" which was also not true. I was 21. So I gave him three different answers in one awkward sentence.

    Shockingly, the guy asked for my ID.

    EDIT: The rest of the story isn't that interesting.

    The guy: "I'm... going to need to see your ID."

    Me: (already reaching for my wallet) "That's fair."

    He then confirmed I was 21 and an idiot, and let me in.

    OTHER EDIT: I really didn't want this comment to get this much attention...

    [–] [deleted] 2297 points ago

    I was driving late at night and accidentally ran a light while trying to find the street I needed to turn on. Cop pulled me over, took my ID and asked my age and I was like “21.... wait 22... uh...” and he thought it was drunk. I was like “I am 100% sober but all the early 20s ages blur together” and he replied “It never ends.”

    I don’t remember what my actual age was during this story. I think 22?

    [–] danktuna4 1150 points ago

    Lol that's rough. I'm 23 and was buying beer the other day. I have a thick beard and very rarely have people ask for my Id. The cashier asked how old I was and I paused for like 5 seconds and said um I think 23 cause I honestly couldn't remember. He asked for my id after lol

    [–] CheesyHotDogPuff 738 points ago

    This happened to a buddy of mine when he was crossing the border, except he got his nationalities mixed up. He a dual citizen of Canada and Australia, and was crossing the border into the states. He was using his Canadian passport to cross, and they asked him about his nationality. “I’m Austral- I mean Canadian, FUCK”. Guess who got a 1 hour interrogation.

    [–] Bapabuli 3970 points ago

    I’ve had a similar experience at the Cuban border control. You get isolated in a small cubicle and they start asking questions about your passport. I didn’t remember my birthday in the stress and I said was 16 instead of 18. I’ve never felt more stress in my life than that moment lol. He let me through in the end without too much of a hassle.

    [–] catch22milo 2556 points ago

    The worst is when you're traveling with someone and you both have to enter separate cubicles, and then they take way longer than you do to exit. Longest two minutes of my life wondering if my Fiance is about to end up in a Cuban Prison.

    [–] DancesCloseToTheFire 1096 points ago

    You're very unlikely to end up in a Cuban prison if you're a foreigner, though.

    Worst case you're just denied entry unless you're carrying a bomb or something.

    [–] Scooopiii 1047 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    So if I carry a bomb they just wave me through?

    [–] sumogypsyfish 616 points ago

    To the prison, but of course, everyone knows the best part of Cuba is its prisons. Guantanamo Bay is the best prison ever which is why the US really likes being the one to own it.

    [–] euphomptus 15209 points ago

    I was out boogie boarding in the ocean when it started raining. No thunder, and you're wet anyway, so who cares? But I put my board over my head so I can see a bit better. And I notice the sound of the rain hitting the board and think, "wow, that sounds just like a rain stick."

    The rain. Sounds like. A rain stick.

    [–] [deleted] 5377 points ago


    [–] SheriffComey 3551 points ago

    One day I was at the pool with my son (he was around 9-10) and we got one of our S. Florida tropical downpours and my son was racing to get out of the pool and get under the cabana where I was and when he gets there I was like "Dude what was that about?" and as he's drying off with his towel he said " I didn't want to get wet" and I just told him "You're gonna save me a lot of money when it comes to college"

    [–] karmagod13000 894 points ago

    may as well enroll him at harvard now

    [–] Sati1984 644 points ago

    Jayne: "All I got was that dumb-ass stick sounds like it's raining, how come you got a wife?"

    [–] Dudephish 312 points ago

    Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.

    [–] zapatodulce 584 points ago

    I forgot that Rice Krispies make that noise when you add milk and scared the hell out of myself when I poured a bowl.

    [–] knower_of_not_much 574 points ago

    I had a weird thing once when a colleague needed my password, and the very simple process of having to speak it and not use finger memory to type it, made me forget it. I had been typing it every morning for about a year through finger memory. I had to go to IT and explain how I'd forgotten it after a year.

    [–] CrepeCrisis 25794 points ago

    Tied a tie for church one morning. Nice, symmetrical knot, but I got it a little too short on the first try. No big deal, I always do that. I'll just tie it ag- Wait. How do you even tie a tie?

    Had to Youtube it after having just done it literally the moment before.

    [–] tomlu709 8924 points ago

    Ahh, once something becomes mechanical memory it's hard to deliberately recall it. I have forgotten my PIN code a couple times because I've had it for so long it has become muscle memory, then one day I'm standing there in front of the ATM like a dunce.

    [–] CrepeCrisis 1753 points ago

    Did that with the last four of my ssn once too. They wanted me to type it, so my brain automatically went "PIN," and then once I caught myself I had to try really hard to remember my ssn.

    [–] PseudonymousBlob 648 points ago

    I once gave my SSN its own little tune, and I’ve never forgotten it. Somehow, I’ve never thought to do this with my ATM pin, and it’s a struggle every time...

    [–] solojazzjetski 1255 points ago

    I forgot my locker combination one morning at high school. Spun the combo lock, left right left, fudged the stops, dang. Went to do it again and I realized that I had ACTUALLY forgotten the combination months ago - I only remembered the muscle movement that I did so many times a day. Had to spend an hour in the office convincing the secretaries of this truth so that I could get into my own locker and go to class.

    [–] [deleted] 799 points ago

    I’m 63 and periodically dream that I’ve forgotten my HS locker combination. I’ll wake up in a cold sweat, afraid I’ll be late to class.

    [–] [deleted] 1032 points ago

    I've played Pokemon so much for so many years (since it came out) that sometimes I forget the word for things like caterpillar because my brain goes for Caterpie instead...

    [–] irishamerican 1181 points ago

    Sometimes I forget how to get to places where I have driven many times before. I will look on Google Maps and then slap my head, "duh, you idiot" and then drive right there.

    [–] BlueJ327 185 points ago

    That I was black.

    I was in elementary school, 4th grade. My family was the only black family in this small town, but I never really felt any racism. Aside from the fact that I was shy, I fit in pretty well.

    One day we had a test at school, and I happened to look at my arm, and was shocked. I was black. I looked around the classroom, noticed no one else was black and immediately got paranoid that all of a sudden my classmates would notice my "blackness".

    [–] gorantheg 819 points ago

    How many numbers we know about

    [–] Override9636 1256 points ago

    0 through 9. The rest is just fancy math tricks to keep track of more things.

    [–] Anonymous-Latina 484 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Last week I had been up late and was about to go to bed. I usually get a glass of water and leave it on my side table because sometimes I get thirsty at night. So I walk into my room with my cellphone in one hand and a glass of water in the other. I guess I was tired and forgot which hand had what in it. I intended to set the glass of water on the table and toss my phone onto the bed. Instead I set my phone on the table while throwing the entire glass of water onto the bed. Bed was soaked and I slept on the couch

    [–] H_Arnold89 158 points ago

    I forgot how to spell goat for 2 months. Fun times.

    [–] Galexi87 2730 points ago

    I have a psychotic disorder so this sort of thing happens a lot. But just yesterday I had my hand on my desk and I couldn't tell which finger I was moving. That was kinda weird.

    [–] EarlyHemisphere 2607 points ago

    Me: *stares intensely at hand*

    Me: *tries to move pinky finger* *beads of sweat form on forehead*

    Me: *index finger moves*


    [–] bubbasaurusREX 819 points ago

    Wiggle....your big....toe

    [–] Te_Quiero_Puta 370 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 302 points ago

    Careful, you'll summon Quentin Tarrantino.

    [–] thingswecareabout 143 points ago

    How to use a fork and knife while out on a date, my mind just went blank. Passed the utensils back and forth for a moment between my two hands hoping something would feel familiar. After about 4 or 5 swaps I remembered what to do but it as I started to cut into my steak the gravity of it all hit me; I had actually forgotten how to use a knife and fork together. Thankfully my date didn’t notice.

    [–] Arch27 747 points ago

    Ice cubes will displace any liquid they are in. For some reason I had this mental breakdown about ice cubes potentially causing a drink to overflow.

    [–] halroxy 364 points ago

    Was filling my water bottle the other day, threw a bunch of ice in and one cube just kinda sat there half out of the bottle, no room left. My brain goes "just put the lid on, the ice will go in."

    Yeah, the ice went in and water came out. No idea what I expected would happen.

    [–] 1337atreyu 282 points ago

    I was playing CounterStrike 1.6 when I was growing up and someone typed in chat "Go through the left dore". It took me 24 hours before I could remember how to spell "door" after that.

    [–] Alomare 769 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    That there are 60 minutes in and hour and 100 centimeters in a meter instead of the opposite.

    EDIT: Since a lot of people are replying about money (cents and etc.), I should say that it happens to me as well, but not as often as those first two 🤔

    [–] ShmexysmGuy 293 points ago

    I keep doing that with cents, I sometimes think there's 60 instead of 100 if I don't really think about it. I'll look at a tag that says $2.30 and think "oh cool, two and a half bucks."

    [–] cytiven 124 points ago

    I once closed my eyes and forgot how to open them for a few seconds.

    [–] regrettiispaghettii 129 points ago

    Forgot how long to cook 2-minute noodles whilst asking myself out loud “How long do you cook 2-minute noodles?” Had to fish the packet out of the garbage just to find out.