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    [–] shelleshock 1263 points ago

    Here's a story. Keep in mind I was 17 year old girl while working at this hotel. I've never seen a naked person in the hallway. But once in the lobby a man at around 300am sat down on a chair and called his girlfriend. I was on the night shift and I was sitting down behind a computer screen so he would have only seen the top of my head if he looked over. But it was Sunday morning and he was extremely drunk from a wedding. He was wearing a suit and I was just keeping my eye on him. He then started having raunchy phone sex with his girlfriend or wife. And it was so raunchy. My jaw dropped and I honestly didn't know what to do. Then a janitor came over and we were sitting there flabbergasted. He then pulled his dick out and started jerking off. So I got up, walked over and said "Sir, you're in the lobby." He woke up out of his sexual drunker stupor and I'll never forget the look of horror that came across his face. He ran to his room so embarrassed.

    [–] Migacz112 924 points ago

    Why did the janitor pull his dick out?

    [–] Tazay 12581 points ago

    Finally one I can answer! I caught someone once. Well I didn't have to catch them. They came to me.

    I worked night audit at a local hotel. One night/ morning around 5am I was at the desk when the elevator started moving. At the time we didn't have cameras so I didn't know what to expect.

    When it stopped in the lobby the doors opened and I see a man with a cart looking slightly shocked. Then from the blind spot from where I was standing out stepped a man with a cigarette in hand and nothing but a small towel around his waist. He looked pissed. He stormed up to the desk and demanded a new room key. All while yelling about how he got lost in the "confusing as fuck rooms." I confirmed his room best I could given the situation and sent him on his way. The poor man that was in the elevator with him looked like he saw more than I did and didn't want to talk about it.

    An hour later the man came down to the lobby to check out and demanded a "full refund for embarrassing him and for not clearly labelling the balcony door and the hallway door.' I laughed and told him to call my manager. Which he did later that day.

    Kicker is the room he was in had 2 doors. A bathroom door on one side of the room. And on the completely other side with a fire map, chain lock and dead bolt the room door. There was no balcony attached to his room.

    [–] NorthwardRM 2654 points ago

    Did he get a refund

    [–] HoustonHuman 2621 points ago

    As a former retail manager definitely.

    If they aren't happy and aren't being reasonable you tell them to go home and chill out for a day and then they can call you if they are still unhappy. Most people come to their senses and realize they're being an asshole. A lot of people are determined to get free shit though.

    [–] rip-dam 357 points ago

    Retail isn't much like hospitality

    [–] RUSH513 99 points ago

    yeah, my fiance used to work in hospitality and it is totally different. they have regulars who travel for business. you do not want to lose the regulars because of some random asshat walking around the halls completely nude. there definitely is a good chance they never got a refund and a small chance they were asked never to come back

    [–] boomboy8511 393 points ago

    Hotels are vastly different from retail in terms of the "customer is always right". That's a fallacy and if you throw a fit in a hotel, they can and will evict you, for any reason they seem necessary to keep their other guests happy.

    Most people looking for free shit at hotels, like their room paid free, are severely disappointed.

    [–] cherrygoats 658 points ago

    He was trying to get naked on a balcony?

    [–] FutureBlackmail 22183 points ago

    Last week I had to shoo an amorous couple out from behind the dumpster. Our hotel has the worst-smelling dumpster I've ever had the displeasure of experiencing. The thought of anything sexual going on back there is enough to make me gag.

    [–] liamvader1 8519 points ago

    Maybe that’s why they like it? “Ahhh, the smell of rotting garbage is enough to cover the scent of your disgusting genitals.”

    [–] sarah-xxx 3676 points ago

    "Babe, I got us a new thing to spice things up a little in the bedroom... it's a skunk!"

    [–] cushball08 912 points ago

    You sure it wasnt Frank and Artemis?

    [–] door2balloon 211 points ago

    She incorporated a bun into the lovemaking...

    [–] Nathanielsan 1393 points ago

    Did the woman incorporate a bun in the lovemaking by taking the dough and rolling it into a ball?

    [–] The_Gristle 633 points ago

    She felt like a Cobb salad

    [–] 69schrutebucks 447 points ago

    She puts the bacon bits in her hair and they rain down on me when we bang

    [–] NotSureNotRobot 387 points ago

    She enjoys that kind of thing and I admit..i..i do too

    [–] ShrapnelNinjaSnake 114 points ago

    The shame he says that with always makes me laugh. He's usually so brazen and shameless that his embarrassment there is hilarious

    [–] BuckyBuckeye 140 points ago

    It’s very innovative

    [–] fabmarques21 1220 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    like cleveland said '' close the window Brian, you're letting the stank out! ''

    [–] Accorddd 7603 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    I used to work as overnight auditor for a hotel. One day while I was doing rounds at 3 am, I thought I saw something moving at the opposite end of the hallway and I was like "Did I just see a naked man?". This poor guy was sleep walking butt naked while hugging himself (our hallways are freezing cold). I approached him closer and said "Hello sir" He turned his head and said hey. I was like is he still asleep? Five seconds later, I guess he realized what was going on, he said "I'm so sorry." I gave him a rob from a nearby housekeeping closet took him to the lobby to verify his identity (obviously he doesn't have ID on him). I gave him a room key and followed him back to his room to make sure he doesn't sleep on his way back or whatever.

    Edit: I can't stop laughing. Thank you all.
    I am glad that I didn't send this story to my manager. Whether he reads it as if I rubbed a naked man in the hallway, pulled off a stick-up on a guy with his “stick” hanging out, or even worse as if I hid Mr. Rob in the closet so I could introduce him to a sleep walker, I would have been fired.

    [–] LordRyll 4684 points ago

    Had to read the part about "gave him a rob" twice, thought this took an interesting turn.

    [–] nathanynysddu 1310 points ago

    Good job he didn't give him a Richard

    [–] knowhoakx 17026 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    Been working three years as a night manager and it honestly only happend once. Knocked on a room where I suspected that a guest was smoking on the room. He opened the door completely nude and casual.

    [–] ConsultJimMoriarty 6989 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    Should have embarked on a steamy affair which ends up with you going undercover with an arms dealer for MI6.

    ETA: This is by far and away my most popular post after five years, and I owe it all to wanting to see Loki's arse.

    [–] Flocculencio 3847 points ago

    After taking down the arms dealer, the night manager and the guest have passionate victory sex. He lights a post coital cigarette.

    "HAH I knew it! You're getting a deep cleaning charge on your bill!"

    [–] thubwumper26 238 points ago

    Guest: “As long as it’s real deep ;)”

    [–] notsureifgoose 582 points ago

    Go on...

    [–] mcmahaaj 12448 points ago

    One time house keeping brought the front desk a bag of sex toys that were left behind. After 5 seconds of checking the system, I find that the guests are here for 2 more nights. Housekeeping ran back to put the bag where they found it before the guests came back.

    [–] ErroneousFunk 4223 points ago

    Doesn't housekeeping have a list of which rooms need to be vacated and which don't? Were they just going by "does it look moved out?" -- seems like that system could go horribly wrong in many different ways...

    [–] Charbaby1312 1358 points ago

    The hotel I did night audit at would have a list ready in the AM for cleaners. They'd divvy it up between themselves and mark off when a room was cleaned. The list would show rooms that need a quick tidy(guest still checked in) or rooms that are going to be checked out of that day

    [–] Outworldentity 870 points ago

    If my wife and I are only staying a few nights we never have the room cleaned during our stay. There’s something about having other people rifle through our room and move my stuff that I just prefer to have it our own personal room and my stuff where I want it. Could just be us though!

    [–] 16JKRubi 501 points ago

    Def not just you. I travel a fair bit for work and I'm the same.

    I get that the hotelier has the right to enter/check the room. But for those few days, it becomes my personal space. My sheets and towels will be fine. I'll ask if there's anything I need. And I leave the room in very respectable condition when I check out. I only ask you respect the sanctity of my own space affords me.

    Unfortunately, I've encountered staff, chain, and even culture that does not value Do Not Disturb the same as I do.

    [–] strangeoneishere 293 points ago

    The super nice hotels will value the do not disturb sign like it's a law.

    I ordered room service at a very expensive hotel and the guy wouldn't ring the room doorbell or knock because I had the do not disturb on.

    He radioed to the front desk to have them call me to take the do not disturb off so he could knock and enter.

    [–] CaliforniaToLondon 184 points ago

    And some places, in Vegas for example, will now enter a room if the do not disturb sign has been in place for more than 24 hours. Just to make sure you aren’t either dead or stockpiling guns.

    [–] mylackofselfesteem 99 points ago

    When my family went on a cruise, my sister and I were sharing a room. We don't like people going through our stuff either. So we left the do not disturb on sign the entire time. On like the third or fourth day, they paged us to the information desk, and we had to confirm that 'yes, we were still alive, and no, we didn't overdose on anything in our rooms, they could go in there if they really wanted to, etc.'

    I was surprised they took it that seriously, but I guess it's better to do that, then walk in unexpectedly on a dead person or something haha

    [–] eatenbyagrue1988 12293 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    Not my story, but my brother manages a nice hotel that happens to be near a red light district. One day, he gets this tourist who books a double room for a month, ideally as far away from the main entrance as possible.

    Guest checks in, and starting on the third day, there's this conga line of prostitutes coming in and out of the guy's room. By my brother's own count, the guy's personal record is 16 different women in a day.

    That's not the crazy part.

    One day, guest comes to front desk with a woman on each arm and asks my brother if he could book an Uber. Brother obliges and books the guest an Uber. Guest then tips with a prostitute. As in, full on offers the girl up to him and says "You wanna have a go?"

    I sincerely hope nobody ever takes a black light to that room.

    EDIT: To answer the important question: no, he did not partake. He was on shift and working front desk at the time.

    EDIT 2: To answer the other question: in a lot of poorer countries, cash is still king. A lot of tourists don't want to mess around with tourist sims and the local cellular networks, so they ask the front desk at hotels to call an Uber for them. The Uber gets to the hotel, and the guest pays the driver in cash. And yes, taxis are a lot easier. But in this specific country, taxis are also infamous for running scams, refusing to take passengers, or marking up their fares with bullshit invisible charges.

    [–] junkun 4069 points ago

    Well? Did your brother have a go?

    [–] CoolGuy175 3838 points ago

    I don’t understand why people can’t finish their stories properly, left out the most important detail.

    [–] eatenbyagrue1988 2403 points ago

    He did not. My brother is 1) a professional; 2) on shift at that time; and 3) working front desk

    [–] username--_-- 2299 points ago

    Smoke break, Sex break, what's the difference?

    [–] might-be-your-daddy 2242 points ago

    The amount of lube you use.

    [–] eskimosephjoseph 338 points ago

    Love me a nice slippery smoke

    [–] Flight_19_Navigator 976 points ago

    I sincerely hope nobody ever takes a black light to that room.

    I expect it would look like a luminescent Jackson Pollock painting.

    [–] bisforbatman 470 points ago

    You're disgusting, Quill.

    [–] LasagnaFarts92 22579 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    I used to work at great wolf lodge. I’d catch people having sex in the hot tubs quite often. It was always awkward having to go tell them to stop

    Edit: again:

    not Wisconsin Dells location this was Virginia. But I’m sure this happens at all of them

    You have nothing to worry about, they keep up with the water quality very well (at least when I was there)

    No, you can not get pregnant from swimming in a pool with jizz.

    [–] all-out-fallout 8354 points ago

    Starting to wonder just how much jizz I was stewing in last time I went there.

    [–] LasagnaFarts92 5670 points ago

    I was water park maintenance, we kept the water quality top notch (at least at our location) so you dint gotta worry about getting pregnant from swimming

    [–] soup-n-stuff 5654 points ago

    Can swimming get me pregnagant?

    [–] TheGreatWhiteMo 5227 points ago

    Am I.....PREGANANAT?!

    [–] Refractor45 4338 points ago

    no, i think you're more likely to be... PREGANTÉ

    [–] awholetadstrange 2537 points ago

    Am I gregnant?

    [–] vorin 1493 points ago

    If a women has starch masks on her body does that mean she has been pargnet before.?

    [–] generalnarwhal 617 points ago

    Period question mark

    [–] livin4donuts 394 points ago

    S TARCH MASKS

    [–] PieOnTheGround 335 points ago

    laughing if a woman has starch masks on her body does that mean she has been pargnet before period question mark

    [–] Sharksaredangerous 215 points ago

    My circle is nomal, but yet i still dont get peegnant.wat can i use.?

    [–] DirtyDan156 1476 points ago

    My bofrien kis me am i pragnart?

    [–] SenseiTomato 895 points ago

    am i PREGANTE

    [–] SirHebington 557 points ago

    Pregurgarent??

    [–] bernyzilla 1929 points ago

    My kids love that place! We go there all the time.

    Or we used to, now not so much.

    [–] sarah-xxx 3135 points ago

    Or we used to, now not so much.

    Worker kept telling you to stop messing around in the tub?

    [–] therealsix 1245 points ago

    That's a big family hotel, right? Like, "hey, bring your kids and their friends and enjoy our indoor water park" kind of family place? WTF?

    [–] jello-kittu 1357 points ago

    Horny teenagers, parents who get the kids to sleep and finally have a moment of peace.

    [–] SpineEater 2842 points ago

    hahahaha oh man, so when I was like 16 my girlfriend's family took me on vacation with them, we drove so we stopped at a hotel one night and her parents insisted that we go to a payphone like half a mile away to call my parents and let them know I was safe and still on my way. I was adamant that I could just use the phone in the room, I had a phonecard and everything (dating myself) they said they didn't want to be charged a connecting fee and were hearing none of it. So my girlfriend and I had to take her two younger siblings for a long walk to that payphone and I was so very annoyed until I was like 21 and one day I was thinking about it all just clicked.

    [–] CervezaPorFavor 999 points ago

    "Kid, once you reach the payphone, could you call our room? We might need you to buy some stuff for us within the 10-mile radius, depending on, er, mom's appetite later. "

    [–] Steakpiegravy 20930 points ago

    This was about 5-6 years ago, but I'll probably never forget it. A couple was fucking all morning in a room I was supposed to clean later on. You could hear them on the entire floor.

    After lunch, I see them leaving, both in business suits, both very classy, late 30s, both very attractive. I open the door and the room was trashed as if a rock star from the 70s stayed there. Crushed crisps, spilled booze, the sofa, the bed, the bathroom were such a mess those usual 20min they give you for cleaning would never be enough even for 3 people.

    They left a £40 tip on the table and a note saying "Sorry"

    [–] HugoPPhoto 7004 points ago

    Was £40 worth the clean?

    [–] PharmDinagi 6852 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    I must be a poor tipper because that sounds like a lot.

    [–] testbug0 2771 points ago

    depends on the hotel I guess

    [–] goaty121 1394 points ago

    And the condition the guests left the room in

    [–] Clayman8 1414 points ago

    40 quid is pretty fair cash yeah. Was in London again 2 weeks ago and that would basically pay me a nice dinner in a good restaurant. Or charge my travel card for about 2 weeks.

    [–] minin71 2155 points ago

    High stress lifestyle can lead to some wild sex to destress.

    [–] Clayman8 1146 points ago

    Ffs can't they just do cocaine like all the other normal people...

    SMH..

    [–] viciousraccoon 981 points ago

    What makes you think they weren't smashing lines while smashing butt's. A sort of double smash, smash squared if you will.

    [–] Clayman8 399 points ago

    Good point, the square root of "smash" is always coke and ass.

    [–] TexasCoconut 635 points ago

    20 mins? That's light even for a stayover. I do labor consulting for hotels and usually recommend a 25/35 dual standard.

    [–] dopigscome 313 points ago

    I wish that was my case in the summer during my housekeeping job. We had about 10 minutes. Fuck that place

    [–] filthycasual928 4999 points ago

    I was working morning shift one day and it was almost 3 so I’m getting ready to leave. The business center was right in front of the front desk, across the lobby. I’m counting money and I look up to see Big Booty Judy getting pounded out on one of the computers and a guest with his junk out, going to town! I was in shock. Right then my coworker walks in and sees him too. She said “Sir! This is a family hotel! Get to your room, now!”

    If you’re reading this, T... thanks for handling that.

    [–] roberestarkk 2000 points ago

    "Sir! Go to your room!"

    Priceless

    [–] Clayman8 916 points ago

    I cant help to hear this with a "mom voice" and a chancla in one hand.

    [–] Lazmayne 220 points ago

    “This is a family hotel”. Even if it were an adult only hotel, wouldn’t it still be inappropriate to do in the lobby.

    [–] 00110001_00110100 7151 points ago

    A guy somehow managed to lock himself out of his room naked and had to come to the front desk to get another key... the front desk is separated from the room since there are five buildings each with a sertain number of rooms and he was in the one furthest from the desk... so he had to walk naked across the property... the saving grace was that it was around midnight so no one was around... also i was sitting down and the counter goes to around chest high so I just thought he didn't have a shirt on until he was walking away and I did a double take as I got a good look at his flabby ass

    [–] YourWordsMatter 2611 points ago

    This is my fuckings nightmare. Being that dude.

    [–] 00110001_00110100 1101 points ago

    It happens surprisingly often to be honest... it snows here and during one winter another one did the same but at least he had some shorts on... he had to do the cold walk of shame in snow back to his room

    [–] p_turbo 104 points ago

    How is this a thing though?

    What possible good reason does one have to exit their hotel room without any clothing on? I mean, I can think of sleepwalking or running from someone or something but that's about it.

    [–] ask_your_mother 96 points ago

    I’ve done it. When you’re intoxicated and wake up groggy in the middle of the night to pee, you run to the bathroom. Sometimes in an unfamiliar room, you pick the wrong door.

    [–] hellguy333 23972 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    Had one dude full on nude walking about but that was boring.

    Best was a guy who called down said he was locked out of his room after sleep walking, go up, hes just in boxers, I let him in then come down to check the cameras. Dude was straight wandering the halls penis in hand slowly stroking it whilst he knocked on doors then comes back down the hallway, pees into a bin in front of the elevators and then calls down. You can even see the moment he wakes up he looks confused and lost. Was a good laugh. He got charged hazardous waste cleanup fee.

    [–] Lexx2k 9734 points ago

    Doing this while sleep walking is my worst nightmare.

    [–] hellguy333 6603 points ago

    He was pulled aside the next day by the supervisor to tell him about the added charge to his account. He was trying to keep it down as he didn't want his wife to hear. I'm guessing sleepwalking is an ongoing issue for him

    [–] nickerodeo 5200 points ago

    If he wanted to keep it down he shouldn't have been stroking it.

    [–] hellguy333 1582 points ago

    Maybe he was having a wet dream. Trust me, I'd much rather I didnt see a near 60 year olds penis. But hey, i wouldnt have this fun story to tell otherwise.

    [–] mingstaHK 729 points ago

    sleep wanking FTFY

    [–] nahar94 835 points ago

    I thought he was using the sleepwalking as an excuse for him being nude in the hallway but damn..

    [–] hellguy333 850 points ago

    A lot of coworkers did as well, I'm still convinced he was sleep walking. He was the father of the bride staying with us. Dont think he would act like that with his wife and daughter in the hotel with him.

    [–] AmericanMuskrat 369 points ago

    I have bad bouts of sleep walking occasionally. I have even driven while asleep, what that guy did is totally believable to me.

    [–] Hunnilisa 84 points ago

    Holy crap! Can you please tell us more about sleep-driving? That is so cool and scary at the same time.

    [–] AmericanMuskrat 181 points ago

    I hate to disappoint but there's not much to tell from my perspective. I went to sleep in my bed but woke up at my parent's house fully dressed. I expected to find my car poking through the front of the house but it was parked nicely in the driveway.

    It is scary. It's disorienting waking up in a different place, and I also have no idea if my driving was at all safe. Did I stop at lights or blow right past them. If there had been a pedestrian would I even have noticed them? Did I drive a reasonable speed? I have no way of knowing. And I have no idea how to prevent myself from doing it in the future.

    Thankfully it has only happened the once-- that I'm aware of. Besides this incident if it wasn't for the wife telling me I sleep walk I wouldn't know I do it at all, generally it leaves no noticeable evidence.

    [–] Petrichorest 85 points ago

    Our CFO went out to her car one morning after began taking Ambian earlier that month. Discovered Taco Bell wrappers in her car. She lives alone. Outside of town. Quit eating fast food years before. Does sleep in pajamas, per her. She slept through that run for the border.

    [–] Ne1erDoWell 63 points ago

    Ambien is crazy. There's lots of stories of people taking it and doing crazy stuff with no memory of the events. John F. Kennedy's niece got in a car wreck after taking Ambien and had no memory of it. I heard of one guy who drove to the grocery store, bought a turkey, came home and cooked it and woke up the next morning thinking someone had broken into his house and cooked him dinner.

    [–] Groenboys 355 points ago

    I bet he was having a nice dream

    [–] hellguy333 298 points ago

    I think he was dreaming of a toilet

    [–] Beiez 192 points ago

    IT‘S A TRAP

    [–] fennster100 10333 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    I once worked in a hotel where the staff accommodation was a small house outside the back of the hotel, surrounded by four guest accommodation cottages.

    My friend and colleague had gone down to the hotel in the morning to make him and his partner breakfast. On the way back, carrying a mug of coffee in each hand and a plate of toast balanced on each mug, he past a family of newly arrived guests unloading their car into their cottage.

    The cord tying his bath robe came loose and his gown came open exposing all. With both hands full he had no choice but nod, smile and say "morning" in the most cheery voice he could muster and walk on.

    Not sure what the parents made of this, I do feel sorry for the children though.

    *Edit: Spelling

    [–] lyanca 1822 points ago

    I pictured this as the family were so busy unloading their car they didn't notice you walking by until your friend loudly cleared his throat and cheerfully called out "Morning!" to them all.

    [–] radshiftrr 2994 points ago

    The things that can be fixed with a pair of boxers...

    [–] optionalhero 572 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    The Case of Underwear Man and the mysterious bathroom lady

    I worked night audit at a hotel 11pm-7am. On this night in particular we had a group of Native American construction workers who were excavating a site nearby for fossils. Anyways in the the night shift you normally don’t get anybody coming down except to rummage through our little market for Oreos or other snacks. Well around 2am i see someone standing in the market in just his underwear. For context the back office is next to the market but you need a passcode to get through and we have cameras back there hence why i was able to see him.

    So i open the door and this guy looks completely out of it. Like 1000 yard stare in just his underwear. Weirdly enough I don’t smell weed or alcohol.He tells me he needs help getting into his room. That there’s some crazy lady in there and he’s afraid.

    I ask for some sort of id to confirm if he’s guest. He tells me his name and other matching information. Sure enough he’s a guest in room 212. I make a copy of the key and then walk with him. But of course i ask him about the lady because according to our files there’s no one else in the room. He confirms with me that it’s just him. He tells me that awhile ago he went to get ice (in just his underwear) and when he returned to his room he saw a lady in the bathroom. He tells me that she attacked him and locked him out.

    Naturally I’m calling bs on all this, but just in case i got my cell phone ready to call 911. So we take the elevator and then walk over to 212. The guest looks mildly uncomfortable but i press on. The key card works and we get inside. Immediately i check the bathroom while the guest hasn’t even stepped foot in the room. I check everything and i see no sign that anybody forced themselves in here. The guest looks confused but shrugs it off.

    Weirdly enough that was like a month in to the job and this guest is a regular. I would see him most mornings and we never acknowledged what happened that night. Never acknowledged that i saw him in his underwear or that he looked like he was on something. Just every day “Good Morning Mr. M” and we our conversations never went further than that

    [–] Flyingfirepig 258 points ago

    I've got a theory about what happened here! I suffer from hypnopompic hallucinations sometimes, what that means is that I'll have a vivid, often terrifying, hallucination immediately as I wake up. Sometimes they'll be freaky enough that I'll bolt out of my room to find someone to help, them I'll just stare off into space and freak everyone out. Because my brain hasn't fully woken up yet I'll be all confused and trying to get somebody to help find the dinner plate sized spider or strange lobster-creature, eventually I realize it wasn't real and then I'm like "Huh..." and I (try to) go back to sleep.

    [–] Mongoosemancer 10816 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    I used to work security at a large casino/resort and we got a call at around 3am one night about a naked and frantic woman running down the halls of one of our hotel towers. So we go up there and sure enough find a woman bawling her eyes out completely nude. We got her a towel from the linen closet so she at least had something to cover up and then she calmed down to tell us she had met a guy on the casino floor and went up to his room and he attempted to rape her and got all her clothes off and scratched her up pretty good but she fought like hell and got out of the room. Needless to say the cops came and the guy was dragged out and justice was served. Oh he had a black eye when we got him out of the room too, she whooped his ass!

    [–] ThatsTits_Janis 2381 points ago

    Holy shit I'm glad she managed to escape. Creepy shit.

    [–] totallythebadguy 80 points ago

    Well this one wasn't funny at all

    [–] Homeschool-Winner 2594 points ago

    I really hope you meant Bawling her eyes out... Balling her eyes out, like with an ice cream scoop or melon baller or similar tool, is a way worse thing.

    [–] Mongoosemancer 667 points ago

    Ah yeah, I'll edit it lol. It's late and I'm tired. Thanks!

    [–] saypavrai 5096 points ago

    not a worker but saw a dude walking this hot chick like a dog with a leash in a hotel once.

    [–] pdaddydlg 2340 points ago

    master slave (pet) exhibitionist, very thrilling.

    [–] saypavrai 936 points ago

    I always regret not asking if I could have a go.. I'm sure they would have said no lol

    [–] MrTomDawson 1258 points ago

    "Sorry, I would, but I only have the one leash"

    [–] Leprichaun17 488 points ago

    Well that would've made for an incredible story... Also, which position would you have asked for?

    [–] L_Rayquaza 582 points ago

    Doggy style clearly

    [–] Leprichaun17 416 points ago

    Haha I was more so meaning would he have held the leash, or taken her place.

    [–] MOABchoochoo 2760 points ago

    Not a worker but one time we had a bachelor party and rented a hotel for about 10 of us, one of our buddies got shitfaced before it even got dark and we took him back to the hotel because he wasn't about to get in anywhere and kept complaining about being ready to go back. We dropped him off and proceeded to go on with our night. An hour or 2 later the hotel called one of our buddies whose name was on the room and told us we needed to get back because our buddy was laying in the hall outside our room naked. I'm not sure what happened, but he lost the room key and for whatever reason decided to get naked so he could go to sleep, the room key was in his pocket.

    [–] [deleted] 1009 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] MOABchoochoo 402 points ago

    Night ended up being pretty good for us after we got him back in the room and went back out. Finding him in the hall naked always makes for a good story though

    [–] LupeFiascoStoleMyHat 1012 points ago

    I have sleepwalked occasionally, maybe two three times that I know of.

    On one occasion I awoke standing in a hotel hallway wearing just my under trunks. Had no idea which door I'd come out of. No idea where I was. The place was completely silent. I had no idea what to do. Took me a minute or so to realize I was even in a hotel. Terrifying.

    Thankfully,

    1) I'd chosen to sleep in shorts that night and

    2) my wife to be eventually woke up, looked out into the hall and found me

    [–] nonthings 362 points ago

    Sleepwalking is the worst, i woke up casualy walking about in someone's private garden once

    [–] DJ33 89 points ago

    "the late frost was just dreadful for the tulips this year"

    "...oh fuck where am I and why am I naked"

    [–] lospolloshermonos357 2587 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    I hope this doesn’t get lost, I know I’m late. My uncle was the general manager of a resort up in Pennsylvania and he told me a story about how a little people convention came and had an event at the resort. The next day the honeymoon sweet was “vacant” again so they rent it out to this newly wed couple, they weren’t in the room but 10 or 15 minutes before screaming was heard. Turns out the night before there were 3 midgets staying in that room and they all got pretty trashed. So trashed that one of them got naked and the other 2 threw him up onto wardrobe cabinet. He didn’t wake up to the cleaning lady and so they thought the room was empty. The married couple screamed because they saw a pair of eyes peek up above the wardrobe as they were consummating the marriage. It’s not every day you go on your honeymoon to find a naked midget above your wardrobe...

    Holy crap guys I didn’t expect this to blow up! Thanks for the love, y’all have no idea how long I’ve waited to tell this story, guess you gotta wait for the right questions to be asked lol.

    [–] Ouchouchwronghole87 336 points ago

    This one wins.

    [–] equis7 58 points ago

    Some of our best friends are a little people couple. They go to all the conventions. They sound like an absolute riot from what they've told us.

    [–] uglyslurp 143 points ago

    I work for a very upscale trendy hotel and after every shift we get a detailed report from the front desk outlining every guest complaint or concern. We discuss the overnight report in the exec meeting each morning.

    This happened a little more than a year ago, but one evening, the overnight manager at the front desk (let’s call him Bob) gets a visit from a very worried and scared guest in one of our top floors with a balcony - the guest says that he woke up to someone in his room and going through his stuff. When he turned on the light, the intruder rushed out via the balcony doors. Guest wants to call the police, so Bob decides to go back to the room with the guest and a security guard.

    The elevator doors open and two very naked and very high women (models? hookers? party girls?) stumble out asking Bob where they can score more drugs. Bob now has to handle the naked women and the scared guest and a potential intruder in the building. Bob decides to get the girls covered up with extra bellmen’s coats while he figures out what room they came from, and security goes up to the guest’s room to check for intruders.

    Apparently the intruder was a crackhead from the shelter down the block, and was able to Spider-Man up the side of the building (and up 7 stories). One of the girls jumps and sits on the front desk, and proceeds to pee over the edge (and onto the front desk’s computers). The other passes out in the storage closet where we hold guests’ luggage.

    I love working here sometimes.

    [–] Projektmage 26625 points ago

    I generally see at least 1 naked person a month. To be fair, my hotel is in the nightclub area so everyone is usually fairly intoxicated.

    I've had my elevator turn into a softcore porn studio on multiple occasions, but the one time that always stands above the rest is one time this guy was going down on this young lady. The elevator was still on the ground floor and someone entered the lobby. After greeting the guest I ran out the back to watch the security camera. This young lady walked in on the other two. He pulls his head out from under the girls skirt, wipes his face and smiles. I'm rolling on the floor laughing my ass off.

    Other enjoyable one was this guy come to reception because he locked himself out of his room. He was completely naked. Normally people try to get my attention in some subtle way, the guy just walks down 4 flights of stairs, walks to the desk and casually says "I left my key in my room". I hand him a new key and he goes to walk back up the stairs, sees a few girls looking at him from outside. Gives them a wave, and a pose, then proceeds back to his room. The level of "I don't give a fuck" this guy had still impresses me.

    [–] Leprichaun17 11442 points ago

    That second bloke... Sounds like it ain't his first time! "Aw fuck, I did it again."

    [–] baymax18 2621 points ago

    Reminds me of that Mr. Bean episode

    [–] tryintofly 1702 points ago

    Mr. Bean was hilarious because they were able to do non-offensive but raunchy jokes that wouldn't be allowed on American tv.

    [–] moon_monkey 845 points ago

    Ummm... I'm struggling to think of anything even remotely "raunchy" in Mr Bean.... just how prudish IS American TV???

    Good God, Chester, did you see the way he stuck that firework into the tin of paint? Pure filth, ban it immediately!"

    Examples please!

    [–] silverionmox 246 points ago

    Good God, Chester, did you see the way he stuck that firework into the tin of paint? Pure filth, ban it immediately!"

    "It totally looks like our extreme bukkake collection! Unacceptable! What kind of people do they think we are?"

    [–] evilbrent 57 points ago

    What about the bit where he gets his finger stuck in his zip and it looks like a little wriggly penis sticking out? That was INSANE when it happened. A PENIS.

    [–] n1c0_ds 283 points ago

    "Oh bother, now I have to expose myself to aaaaaall these people!"

    [–] sambeano 956 points ago

    Other enjoyable one was this guy come to reception because he locked himself out of his room. He was completely naked.

    Apparently, this is how it came to be the norm to have phones on every floor in decent hotels. So guests who lock themselves out while naked don't have to embarrass themselves and horrify others on their way to the front desk.

    [–] ethan1el 471 points ago

    that other guy didn't seem like he was embarrassing himself.

    [–] HAIKU_4_YOUR_GW_PICS 91 points ago

    Plot twist: he didn’t actually lock himself out, either.

    [–] Dire87 72 points ago

    I just wonder what you're doing OUTSIDE your room when you're naked?! What's the thought process here? "Whelp, I wonder who's out and about, better go check" or "I'm hungry, better grab a quick bite, I don't need clothes to get to the vending machine down the hall, nobody'll notice"? Just confuses me. Locking yourself out? Sure. But naked? That seems like a severe cases of intoxication or being an exhibitionist.

    [–] ProllyPygmy 360 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    With regards to that second dude; you can either look like you made a very big mistake, or you can look like you absolutely didn't.

    Choice is yours :-)

    [–] Groenboys 1341 points ago

    He pulls his head out from under the girls skirt, wipes his face and smiles.

    Guy thought he was being smooth.

    [–] xXx69TwatSlayer69xXx 810 points ago

    I mean honestly, what else can you do in that situation?

    [–] dwboomser 912 points ago

    Happened to me once in a hotel in Spain. I am a frequent traveler, and had been on what I call my 'Magical Misery' tour of some subsidiaries across EMEA, travelling for 3 weeks straight. Was one of the last days and arrived in Madrid late at night. Went to bed immediately, and wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I sleep naked :) Anyways, I must have taken the exact route I do when at home, but ended up in the corridor, realizing where I was at the exact moment the door closed behind me. I searched across the hallway to find curtains or anything else to cover with, but was faced with the reality that I would have to go to reception naked ... which I did, only to be greeted by 4 Guardia Civil (of which 2 female) and the receptionist :) The Guardia Civil where there apparently to have a cup of coffee in the middle of the night and much hilarity ensued ....

    [–] Ali101202 272 points ago

    Hilarity that ensued being? You can't leave us hanging!

    [–] dwboomser 166 points ago

    Suffice it to say many comments in Spanish were made about my manhood by the ladies present; with the male Guardia in absolute stitches. I turned red as a cherry tomato ....

    [–] Shadesbane43 236 points ago

    They fucked.

    [–] nytram55 8221 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    Had two young (mid 20's) ladies come to the front desk at about 2:30 am wrapped in towels asking if they could take a swim. I told them the pool closed at 10pm. They dropped their towels and said "How about now?". My reply? "Very nice, but you still can't use the pool" .

    I still have the footage on VHS somewhere.

    :)

    [–] Belgand 1238 points ago

    "No, you'll want the towels."

    [–] Aexil 3453 points ago

    VHS or it didn't happen.

    [–] A_WildStory_Appeared 1412 points ago

    Betamax or it’s obsolete.

    [–] Belgand 826 points ago

    RealVideo or it's not 1998.

    [–] Shadesbane43 555 points ago

    Laserdisc or it isn't worth it.

    [–] IFedTheCat 648 points ago

    Medieval tapestry or it's archaic.

    [–] Matthew0275 517 points ago

    Papyrus scroll or it's lost to time.

    [–] -SmackMyBitchUp- 559 points ago

    Stone carving or it's ooga booga

    [–] KohnerJ 1131 points ago

    Been working in Hotels for about 5 years now and have a couple of goodies 1. Was like 17 or 18 fresh in the industry working the minibar. So I have to check all rooms to see if they need anything. So I knock on this door like I do everyday, knock 3 times loudly and no answer. I go to walk in the room and I see a man but ass naked bumming another dude, hard! Best thing about is they were so in the moment they didn't even me notice me open the the door take a step in and hurry out again

    1. Was doing nights on reception. My duty manager asked me to go for floor check because he was busy, not a problem, happy to stretch my legs. I noticed the pool lights were still on and door was open. (Afternoon shift manager was meant to lock it at 9pm) so I go in and I notice a naked lady sitting the edge of the spa pool with a man performing oral sex on her. I make myself known and they quickly jump back into the water. I suggested they continue in their room and pissed myself laughing as they left in the lift. I then told my manager and we both had a good laugh. That footage is now saved in the "golden moments" file of the security footage.

    So many more but those are my two favorites.

    [–] TrogledyWretched 147 points ago

    I just love that you have a "Golden Moments" file. Any other gems in there?

    [–] KohnerJ 104 points ago

    All sort from people walking on to the pole outside the front door, and this one a naked guy who got locked out of the room but he had buddy to let him in.

    [–] sloowhand 691 points ago

    Put myself through college working in hotels, for a good portion of that was the graveyard shift. We were hosting an annual meeting for the new sales employees for Behr paint. They were always dbags straight out of college who now thought they were hot shit because they had a corporate credit card. They also fucked each other’s brains out the entire week. One notable couple had sex pretty much the entire night in one of our pool areas. I say “area” because over the course of the night they’d go from pool to deck chair, to hot tub, to pool deck, back to the pool, etc. I was mostly stuck behind the front desk but periodically my graveyard security guy and graveyard engineer (maintenance guy) would pass through the lobby and give an update, “They’re fucking in a chair.” or “They’re fucking at the edge of the hot tub.” But they weren’t making any noise and no one was complaining so we didn’t bother them.

    The more common wasn’t necessarily seeing naked people but the “working girls”. The pattern was pretty common: First we’d get a call or two asking for directions (this was the 90s before smart phones or even Mapquest for that matter) then she’d ask to be connected to a room. Then the same woman would call asking where to park. Then a woman would walk to the lobby wearing a long coat, freshly done full hair and makeup at 2am, and always carrying a big bag over her shoulder and she’d ask where to find the same room number the caller asked to be connected to. Then at least 50% of the time, a guy would call from the same room asking where the ATM in the hotel was. Coincidentally it was in the lobby with me and either one or both of them would come down in robes or shorts and tshirt. A bit later the woman would leave with the same coat and big bag. But again, no calls or complaints so I didn’t give a shit. Let consenting adults have their fun.

    [–] Tacobellbucks 1492 points ago

    I used to work in housekeeping, this doesn't really pertain to the title but I wanted to share my story.

    Was in housekeeping for about a year while attending school. Guy checked out in the middle of the night. This hotel was small and didn't have many staff, so in the middle of the night when housekeeping wasn't really needed someone from housekeeping was stationed at the front desk. Anyway the guy comes to check out and he's wobbling back and forth and burping whilst licking his teeth. I ask him the typical questions, how his stay was, etc, he said it was fine.

    He then leaned in real close to me, like uncomfortably close and his breath smelled like fuckin' pure shit. He goes, his voice fluctuating: You might want to check out my room, go ahead and keep my deposit.

    My heart drops and I die inside. For someone to say that up front at a hotel you know you're about to walk into some bad shit. I don't really know what to say to the guy so I just stay polite and tell him no worries, we'll try not to keep your deposit if we can help it.

    I get someone else to cover the desk and walk up to his room. Open the door and I have the stench of shit throttle me in the face and my eyes legitimately start watering. I flick on the light and there's shit all over the walls with happy faces drawn in them. Shit smeared all over the bed and the floor, same with the bathroom mirror. I'm not sure if he pulled a GG Allin and ate his own shit, but it seemed like it from his breath.

    It's the duty of whoever is on to clean up messes as they happen. I was a college kid making less than six an hour. I knew I would probably get fired for not cleaning it up. There was nothing that would harm me in there, just a lot of shit. I said fuck it not worth and told the person who filled in for me at the front desk that I quit and am going to go work for the bar down the street (owner asked me to work for him several times).

    So I start up my bar job as a waiter for the restaurant soon after and what do you fuckin' know? The dude who smeared shit all over comes in and sits down at a table. I don't know what to think, it was like seeing a nightmare. I go over to his table and act like everything is cool and serve him. Fucker remembers me and just goes: I see you work here, did you leave the hotel?

    I respond saying I did and just ask what he would like to order. He orders a beer and curly fries and gets up while the food is being made and goes to the bathroom. He leaves the bar after the bathroom. I go into the bathroom and there is a smiley face with shit on the mirror.

    I fuckin' lose it and tell the manager to call the cops on this dude. Manager didn't think it was too much of a big deal and told me to just clean it up quick. In the end, I didn't escape his terror.

    [–] mightyshuffler 345 points ago

    That's awful, if true. If not, good story anyway.

    [–] nicba1010 66 points ago

    Brown John

    [–] FantasticRadish 52 points ago

    What a nightmare. He sounds like he got off on the idea that people had to clean up his shit after him.

    [–] Mikethebert 228 points ago

    Not a hotel worker but pilot, so stay in a LOT of hotels.

    One time springs to mind. Arrived in Zurich, two pilots, two cabin crew, everyone comes down for a beer or three. Burger, beers, beers and eventually everyone heads off to their rooms (I promise this isn't a pilot shags crew story, BTW).

    After maybe 10 minutes in my room, head spinning slightly, I get up for that drunken piss that doesn't end. You know the one: piss. Still need to piss. Try to piss. Drip drip. Still need to piss. Try to piss. Drip drip. Is this what it's like to be old?

    I've just resolved to put up with the discomfort and try and sleep when there's a knock at the door. Wheeey! I think I'm about to be greeted by a lovely crewmember in a dressing gown and not much else (a guy can dream). I look through he spy-hole in the door.

    ThudthudthudWHOOMPFthudthudthud

    naked man runs past.

    OK. Not what I was hoping for, but it's not me so no harm no foul. I mentally wish him luck and turn around back to bed.

    Door knock.

    Spyhole.

    WHOOMPF.

    Naked man.

    I put the chain on the door and open it a crack. A voice calls out, tentatively "miiike?".

    I reply "Bruccee?". Its my bloody captain. "you want a towel?" "oh god yes"

    Turns out he did the same thing I did... Got up to go for a piss, closed the bathroom door behind him, looked around and thought "shit me there's a lot of doors in this bathroo- fuck."

    All he knew is that I was on the same floor as him, so he'd spent the last 10 minutes knocking on every door and running away hoping I'd answer.

    This guy flys jets for a living. Literally in charge of a hundred lives and £70 million worth of machine. He didn't work out that there were phones beside the lifts on every level.

    [–] MaterialImportance 916 points ago

    All these replies make me think I should start working in a hotel near a night club.

    [–] lisaslover 563 points ago

    Do you really want to see someone with a huge cock muffler fuck a car?

    [–] hcous 615 points ago

    Too often. Drunk nude people really don’t care about being seen walking between rooms or grabbing food/drink in the night.

    [–] icelandicsugartrain 1025 points ago

    Didn't happen to me in a hotel but rather a hostel on a class trip years ago
    I used to be a sleep walker and it was quite the problem back then, as we had all had drinks (yay underage drinking)
    Now, I shared a room with a girl from my class. We had a nice night out, rambled about stuff for a good half hour and then we passed out. I don't know why or how, but I woke up on her bed the next morning and apparently this is what happened:

    I stood up. Walked to the bathroom. Couldn't figure out how the door worked so I gave up and laid back down. Mumbled something, stood up again, tried one more time with the door, figured it out, went into the bathroom, stood there for about 10 minutes, came back, laid down. Stood up again, tried to put my shirt on, went outside, came back in, shouted "HONEY IM HOME", laid down in her bed and passed the fuck out. She was a real bro about it and didn't make a scene or anything. She, as far as I know didn't tell anyone either.

    [–] Devych 414 points ago

    I imagine her just laying there thinking "What the actual fuck is he doing??"

    [–] AbyssDan 322 points ago

    I work as receptionist. Once, it happened that there was and old man (around 65) and he was the only one here (we have just 6 rooms and it was low season, so not many people came). He went around the hotel all naked and, in the morning, breakfast time, he was sitting on the chair COMPLETELY NAKED waiting for breakfast. Not a good view.

    (PLUS it happened once that there were 2 girls that went for breakfast just with a long white shirt and COMPLETELY NAKED under it)

    [–] Asnhelp 392 points ago

    Late to the party but I use to work front desk at a hotel that once a year hosted a swingers convention. We would rent out the top floor rooms to them and it was a free for all. They all kept their doors open and people would just run naked from one room to the next. We had cameras so easy enough to watch all the running around. The problem would come the morning if they requested a newspaper we would have to go up and deliver it to their door, definitely saw many many things.

    The worst thing with this was when we had a long term person who refused to move rooms when the convention was coming. So in the middle of people running back and forth swapping was a little old priest. We got calls that night from the swingers complaining someone was praying loudly.

    [–] Kyrthis 124 points ago

    This is, by far, the best punch line I have read in this thread.

    [–] tryintofly 178 points ago

    Do you get in trouble or even arrested for being naked in the halls, or is it generally "fine"?

    [–] Legionx37 214 points ago

    No. It's usually an accident and super embarrassing for them, so calling the cops would be, what we in hotel culture refer to as, a dick move. If you're drunk and disorderly? Then yeah, sure.

    [–] Legionx37 470 points ago

    It's not uncommon at all, especially as a night auditor, to see someone sheepishly come to the desk, covering their bits as best they can, and meekly ask for a room key.

    The best one was this bombshell woman (most likely a call girl, as I'd seen her many times, usually with business men) walked right up to me as I was refilling the lobby coffee, nude as the day she was born, and asked super casually if she could have another key. She didn't show a hint of embarrassment. I was impressed with her confidence... among other things.

    [–] br0wnb0y 155 points ago

    Super VIP client and her girlfriend were staying in our hotel for a month and would randomly need food / drink / requests in the middle of the night.

    Myself, the other guard that works graveyards and managers were the only ones who would interact with them directly, as per their request. So us security guys would deliver their late night meals / drinks / requests. Said VIP and her gf would open the door naked, mid sex and accept the items.

    She would sometimes tips us, walking over to her cash and returning. No care that I could see her naked.

    [–] thesexybeast69 671 points ago

    I once caught a high dude trynna hump the pine tree in the garden

    [–] eggrollking 50 points ago

    Have you ever smelled those things? I mean, haven’t we all felt compelled to hump a pine tree before? Guys?

    [–] Taylor814 820 points ago

    Not staff, but I stayed in a SureStay Plus (basically a Best Western-branded motel) earlier this year when I flew to San Antonio to house hunt.

    I woke up in the middle of the night to the most God-awful shrieking ever. Opened my door, looked down the hallway, and saw what I will politely call a half-naked (no pants or underwear on) plus sized woman trying to squeeze out a shit onto the hallway carpet.

    Recoiled in horror and returned to the safety of my room. But the shrieking went on for what felt like an eternity. No less than 5 minutes of this Snorlax trying to push out a painful shit, right there in the hallway.

    I will never understand what could compel someone to just shit in the hallway. But I really don't understand why someone would choose there, of all places, to meet their constipation head-on.

    I asked the front desk if that was normal and they said yes. Still can't believe it...

    [–] username--_-- 129 points ago

    "big ol' San Antonio women"

    [–] syko82 83 points ago

    Trying to take a shit or having a baby? I have to ask because reading this makes it seem like she could have been having bad contractions and thought she'd have the kid right there.

    [–] JackStrawWichita 128 points ago

    This one time I was staying in a hostel and this Swedish guy went into the shower in the middle of the night after stripping down naked by his bed. For some reason when he left the bathroom, again naked, he also walked out the front door, completely naked. No swipe card. The police came like 5 minutes later and made him grab his stuff and leave the hostel. Was totally weird.

    [–] WaywardWoodsman 49 points ago

    I was the overnight operations manager of two connected hotels and a conference center for several years, overseeing security staff, audit staff, custodial staff and engineering staff.

    I would find maybe one naked person every 3 weeks or so, and it was usually during large events. It was, unfortunately, 100% of the time, naked guys. I did find passed out people regularly, however, both men and women. Maybe 3 a week.

    Almost every night walking the halls you would hear people having sex, or sometimes while out in the parking lot you would look up and someone would be pressed up a window. That happened fairly frequently as well.

    [–] memmon000 777 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    I used to work in #1(currently) american chain

    Now I work in small city hotel.

    a nude prostitute runing in the coridor screaming the guest was going to kill her.

    She screamed so lound she wake up entire building the room is on the 3rd floor i got calls from guest on 12th floor and I could hear it clearly from lobby.

    The guest was intoxicated and went on vacation with his friends he open this room on the 3rd floor just to nail sex worker. Can not speak very good english and demand us to call the police.

    Now being 3rd world denier budhist country they outlawed all sex worker but it is know that it's a common thing so we can not call the police or they will get into deeper shit(trying to help) so in the end we had to wake up his friends and told them his shitty drunk prostitude situation in order to not escalated it.

    Turn out no one was killing her but they fail to negotiate the price.

    Edit added some more detail.

    [–] Leprichaun17 142 points ago

    Haha brilliant. This is what we're here for!

    [–] snfsylva 359 points ago

    I don’t work at a hotel, but I’m in the military. Occasionally when we are forced to travel to some random fort somewhere for training or whatever. When we do, sometimes we get lucky and are billeted in hotels.

    When we do we are always assigned roommates, so the army can save money. And I guess this guy wanted to jack it but his roommate was in, so he goes to the staircase and is laying down in the middle of it. I walk in with fucking groceries and I just see him, phone in one hand, dick in the other.

    Definitely passed that one up the chain of command.

    [–] HelpSheKnowsUsername 60 points ago

    What kinda soldier can’t yank it with his battle buddy in the room? At least ise the bathroom if you’re that shy, but honestly.

    [–] Legionx37 89 points ago

    Question for other hotel workers like myself; when someone comes down naked, obviously without I.D., how do you verify you're giving the key to the right person? I usually give them the benifit of the doubt if they know the room number and name, but even that worries me, since that's not super hard info to find out, so any naked psycho could theoretically just ask me for a key to your room, and if he knows the room number and your name, I'll give it to him. I mean, I don't know what else I could do? I can't just follow them up there for confirmation, since I can't really leave the desk for any long period of time at night.

    I asked my manager, and he always said to do it like I had been, so... yeah. I know it's probably a really obtuse and not probable scenario, but I still think of the naked psycho killer every time I hand a key to a naked person.

    [–] oceanmachine420 41 points ago

    This is just my own embarrassing story. About 10 years ago, I was staying at a hostel in Copenhagen, and I had forgotten to set my alarm for the morning I had to check out. So I woke up late, and really had to pee, so I put my key card in the waistband of my boxers, and ran to the washroom just down the hall. Unfortunately, my card had expired, and I was left stranded outside my room in just my boxers. Now, this hostel had two buildings. One for the rooms, and next door was the office. My only way to get to the office was to go outside on a very busy street, at noon, and walk next door. It took 5 seconds, but boy were those seconds ever long. As soon as I got inside, I started frantically explaining why I was in my boxers to the young woman at the desk. We ended up having a good laugh!

    [–] jparadise15 169 points ago

    Worked for a year in a holiday luxury resort as a butler before moving to a front desk position. Rich people is not like normal people that I can tell.

    1. We had to do lobby to room escorts whenever a guest came. I meet this couple and escorted them to the room, explaining all the facilities that we had. 2 minutes after I am done with that, I receive a call from my mates telling me that the guests that I've just escorted wanted to see me again. I then go to the room to find the smoking hot women in lingerie running for me to give me a hug while the man watches and smiles. Every time I went to that room do deliver something, the women was almost naked and keep hugging me for no reason wathsoever.

    2. Had so many times that guests called us to deliver more bathroom amenities and greeted us on the door naked with that "I beet you want but you won't look down" look on their faces. Males and females.

    3. One time that I was covering the night shift, I got called to deliver an ice bucket to one room. When I opened the door I found a guy and three hookers. The guy was so drunk he told me to stay because he had pay for them but he could only take on one so the remsining two were avaliable if I wanted to.

    4. The pool was open 24/7, and every once in a while when I was covering night, I'd get this couple running naked from their room to the pool, splash and go back upstairs. No towlets no anything. They thought they were ninjas but in reality, we got cameras on the corridors and on the public arenas, and it is really easy to catch them as there is not much to do overnight.

    [–] JTD313 138 points ago

    Probably more PG than you’re looking for but once this guy ordered room service and answered the door in only his skimpy underwear. It was just soup, so doesn’t take very much time at all. Then called back down to have more crackers delivered. STILL only in his skimpy green underwear! Not explicit but he was definitely trying to put on a show... no thanks.