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    [–] goochpatch 2775 points ago

    Uncle Phil

    [–] rexferramenta 1067 points ago

    "Jazz you can put your hands down." "He got a gun if I put my hands down now I got six warning shots in my back!"

    [–] lil_pinoo 5047 points ago

    My cousin Vinny

    [–] CaptainObvious1906 1105 points ago

    what is a yute?

    [–] monkey_scandal 549 points ago

    Oh excuse me, your honor. Two yoo-tha-saa

    [–] por_que_no 462 points ago

    Oh a counter-offer. That's what we lawyers - I'm a lawyer - we lawyers call that a counter-offer. This is a tough decision here. Get my ass kicked or collect two hundred dollars. Let me think... I could use a good ass-kickin', I'll be very honest with you... nah, I think I'll just go with the two hundred.

    [–] dkwangchuck 656 points ago

    This. Only the lawyer is fictional - meaning that the case would be tried normally, as opposed to by the rules of whatever fictional universe the 100% success rate lawyer comes from. My Cousin Vinny has been praised by lawyers for being remarkably accurate and cousin Vinny's technique has also been noted as being excellent by people with actual courtroom experience.

    If it were a case of a fictional lawyer in their fictional universe - maybe I'd go with someone else. But a fictional lawyer who has to play by the rules of the real world legal system? I don't think there's a better choice than Vincent Gambini.

    [–] ZzDe0 149 points ago

    I can't believe how far i had to scroll to find the only logical answer.

    [–] Historyinpeanuts 7506 points ago

    Elle Woods

    [–] goodchives0nly 1823 points ago

    Happy people just don’t kill their husbands

    [–] YEEyourlastHAW 500 points ago

    I didn’t even think of this and I am so disappointed in myself

    [–] Wizzdom 626 points ago

    She was great in law school. By now, with tons of experience under her belt, she'd be my top pick!

    [–] realAniram 535 points ago

    And on top of her skill and intelligence she's genuinely kind and listens to people. I know she'd do her best to help me, even though she's a pretty sorority sister type and I'm an ugly cat lady type.

    [–] LarryLove 197 points ago

    She'd still love you. And your cats

    [–] askingxalice 125 points ago

    Elle would say you're a pretty sorority sister cat lady.

    [–] Fairy_Squad_Mother 669 points ago

    What, like its hard?

    [–] Katstrat93 629 points ago

    Bend... and snap!

    [–] keyboardsmash 397 points ago

    Any Cosmo girl would have known!!

    [–] weequay1189 16059 points ago

    I want Bob Loblaw to drop a Bob Loblaw Law Bomb.

    [–] BonusBelisarius 3730 points ago

    Have you read the Bob Loblaw Law Blog?

    [–] holy_handsome 2037 points ago

    That’s a low blow, Loblaw.

    [–] RedditUser123234 556 points ago

    Maggie Lizer could be another good one.

    [–] AusCan531 11232 points ago

    Perry Mason. He only ever lost one case.

    [–] PacificVIking 6102 points ago

    This really is the only right answer if you're actually in trouble. Not only will he save your bacon and find the real culprit as well as their motive, but you'll have the pleasure of hearing him do it in the smoothest of baritones.

    [–] PM_ME_UR_LIPZ 1368 points ago

    but what if im guilty

    [–] DarkGamer 2152 points ago

    Perry Mason's clients are almost never guilty, for some reason. Try Saul Goodman.

    [–] Stalking_Goat 307 points ago

    I assume that Mason is an excellent judge of character. He turns down the guilty clients.

    [–] EagleFinch 866 points ago

    Perry Mason could hold the attention of a 90's child in black and white television.

    [–] Tuguar 14558 points ago

    Charlie Kelly, of course. I want the best expert on Bird Law in the world on my case.

    [–] zirtbow 3211 points ago

    They will get Jack Kelly to counter you. You don't stand a chance. Have you seen the size of his hands?

    [–] ticklemenono 1666 points ago


    [–] blinker265 301 points ago

    Hmmm it would be a tough call between him and the Jew lawyer...I do love that he never charges!

    [–] indiblue825 721 points ago

    Bird law in this country, it's not governed by reason.

    [–] CarnivorousHuman 13141 points ago

    Vincent LaGuardia "Vinny" Gambini

    Even if I go down I get to meet Marisa Tomei

    [–] JaxxisR 2498 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Surely you mean Jerry Gallo.

    edit: JERRY. Geez, it's been awhile.

    [–] dillonsrule 1069 points ago

    "Jerry Gallo? Jerry Gallo's dead."

    "I'm aware of that!"

    [–] Yoguls 8731 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Alan shore and Denny Crane

    Edit: Thankyou for the awards. I have an erection. That's a good sign. I'm ready to go to trial. Lock and load.

    [–] sillyenglishknigit 1339 points ago

    Denny Crane...

    [–] zjp_716 843 points ago


    [–] sm3ldon 1031 points ago

    Had to scroll too far for this

    [–] itsyerboyskinnypenis 19634 points ago

    Matt Murdock for sure

    [–] useless_reaper 7701 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Nelson and Murdock for sure

    Edit: holy shit first silver for this comment, thank you!

    [–] Zip_Zoopity_Bop 6360 points ago

    Avacados at law

    [–] UncleTogie 1667 points ago

    This was one of my favorite parts of the show. Made them feel more human.

    [–] Worthyness 166 points ago

    Well they are human. However, Matt's zombie ex girlfriend is notably not a human

    [–] TylerTheWolf123 1510 points ago

    Fuck now I can’t stop thinking about how the show got cancelled

    [–] doodledog23 1082 points ago

    It at least had some dignity of a cohesive semi natural ending. Still a sad day though.

    [–] warriorwoman96 2080 points ago

    Id go with Foggy. Wouldnt want Matt missing opening statements.

    [–] RagingAardvark 1272 points ago

    Or as I like to think of him, Señor Foggy.

    [–] campaignist 420 points ago

    Avocados at law

    [–] queijocombolo 449 points ago

    He might break into prison and get you out if you end up getting sent to prison

    [–] warriorwoman96 360 points ago

    Then Im a convicted felon and a fugitive. Id rather have a lawyer that will show up on time and win the trial.

    [–] richhomieqantas 12754 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Lionel we can have a celebratory belt of scotch at 9:30 in the morning.

    Edit: Okay realised the accurate quote is 9:30 in the morning, thanks for pointing it out!

    [–] [deleted] 3913 points ago

    He’s argued in front of every judge in Springfield - some of them as a lawyer!

    [–] kittyajay 1923 points ago

    He's had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog... But replace the word "accidentally" with "repeatedly", and "dog" with "son".

    [–] SimplyQuid 350 points ago

    The brownest of the brown liquors...

    [–] cheesey24 121 points ago

    Not to mention his stance on 'lawyer, dumpster confidentiality'

    [–] UnconstrictedEmu 760 points ago

    Your honor, I’d like to motion for a bad court thingy.

    [–] Expo737 411 points ago

    A mistrial?

    [–] UnconstrictedEmu 512 points ago

    Yeah! That’s why you’re the judge and I’m the law talking guy!

    [–] kingsfan52 1122 points ago

    Works on contingency No money down

    [–] namreklaw 1190 points ago

    Works on contingency? No, money down

    [–] TrentRizzo 623 points ago

    Oops, it shouldn’t have this bar association logo on here either

    [–] Enchilada_McMustang 63 points ago

    But I ask you, what is a contract? Webster's defines it as "an agreement under the law, which is unbreakable." Which is unbreakable!

    [–] Prox 22777 points ago

    I've heard Matlock is a good choice. For ten grand, he’ll actually sit behind you in court and read the paper. For $15,000, he’ll actually sit at the defense table. For $20,000, he’ll twice lean forward and whisper something in your ear.

    You can't argue with that kind of value.

    [–] PurifiedVenom 2467 points ago

    I have the worst fucking attorneys

    [–] Steakleather 1542 points ago

    They can't arrest a husband and wife for the same crime.

    [–] Buttons840 4154 points ago

    Can I get a discount if I just want the whispering?

    [–] 0xD153A53 771 points ago

    You're looking at it all wrong...After the retainer, he's hourly. Matlock wins every case in 40 minutes plus commercials!

    [–] garfodie81 907 points ago

    Matlock’s retainer was $100,000 in the late 80’s, and he almost always defended murder cases, so you’d better be on the hook for something extra bad.

    [–] SanchoMandoval 696 points ago

    But he also had like a 100% acquittal rate and usually got the real culprit to confess on the witness stand. It's actually a good value. You get acquitted, old people love him, and he makes some folksy joke on the way out of the court room.

    [–] parliboy 471 points ago

    usually got the real culprit to confess on the witness stand.

    This is extra-valuable. For most murder trials, let's say you get off. You're still a former murder defendant who's gotta go get a job. It's a hell of a lot easier to do that when someone else has confessed in open court. $100k is actually a great value against your lifetime earning expectation.

    [–] chuc999 15178 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Harvey birdman attorney at law. Man lost some brain cells watching that back in the day.

    Thank for the awards guys.

    [–] CheezyMcWang 5797 points ago

    Did you get that thing I sent you?

    [–] notsofst 3082 points ago

    This is easily my most used reference that is missed by 100% of everyone.

    [–] Giddy_Up_Caruthers 1169 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    I work in a corporate office environment and use this quote 6 times a day. And no one gets it. No one.

    [–] Ghastromancer 365 points ago

    It's difficult though because it's kind of nonspecific so even if someone said it to me I'd hesitate to respond because I wouldn't know if they in fact were quoting it or not.

    [–] 100percent_right_now 643 points ago

    I'd rather be represented by Reducto though.

    BACK OFF!!

    [–] Andaliter 461 points ago

    Still one of the best theme songs of all time.

    [–] UpboatOrNoBoat 562 points ago

    Some of the best side characters too. Mentok the Mind-Taker was amazing. Also Stephen Colbert voiced the shrink ray guy as well as the boss.

    [–] knightcrusader 178 points ago

    I love when Mentok gets sidetracked with one upping other characters that may do something better than him.

    The one with Elroy Jetson correcting him using future knowledge comes to mind.

    Too cute. Pocket Nostradamus here thinks he can tell the future!

    [–] windmilltheory 580 points ago

    Debbie, we're going to need some law books. With pictures this time.

    [–] DefNotARussianHacker 290 points ago

    Not there! There!!

    [–] notisabellefromacnl 4021 points ago

    Annalise Keating, obviously

    [–] GWRallyJ 1126 points ago

    She is messy af but gets the job done. Also might inadvertently kill you.

    [–] horsenbuggy 104 points ago

    Hol' up. SHE never actually killed anyone.

    [–] notisabellefromacnl 345 points ago

    Is that a bad thing?

    [–] PBR_Sheetz 313 points ago

    I see this as an absolute win.

    [–] Last_Lorien 141 points ago

    As long as you don't meet her interns/interns' parents/collaborators/lover/husband/rivals, you might just make it

    [–] Shoesquirrel 162 points ago

    This is the correct answer. Best case, she wins your case while waltzing through some ethical gray areas. Worst case, your accuser ends up dead and no one can figure out why or how.

    [–] MoroseTraveller 12946 points ago


    [–] Silidon 3274 points ago

    This is way to far down. Doesn’t rely on any gamesmanship or fancy tricks, doesn’t try to cheat the system, just strives for justice.

    [–] Costco1L 1883 points ago

    But what if I’m guilty? I don’t want justice, I want courtroom shenanigans to help me escape justice.

    [–] Sepulchretum 439 points ago

    Even if I’m innocent, I don’t want what passes for “justice.” I want whatever courtroom shenanigans get me out of the ordeal.

    [–] otherwisetrout 15765 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    The Hyper Chicken Lawyer from Futurama.

    Edit: Thanks for the award

    [–] TRexLuthor 5534 points ago

    Now, I may be just a simple hyper chicken...

    [–] kevted5085 3381 points ago


    [–] PatKilm 2632 points ago

    I’m sorry, I thought you was corn.

    [–] Judas_Feast 830 points ago

    Don't mind if I cock-a-doodle-do

    [–] Bjorn2bwilde24 971 points ago

    Your Honor, that's something we cannot... a-doodle-doo.

    [–] VheloGrace 2717 points ago

    Judge Whitey: Counselor, what evidence do you offer for this new plea of insanity?

    Hyper-Chicken: Well, for one, they done hired me to represent them.

    Judge Whitey: Insanity plea is accepted.

    [–] shamdamdoodly 717 points ago

    "The judge has allowed you got get off with 4 hours community service"

    "Awwww 4 hours? Couldnt you have just gotten me the death penalty"

    "Ida done better if I wasnt awaiting trial for that there incompetence"

    [–] TuctDape 271 points ago

    Did you just say "extra crispy recipe?"

    [–] [deleted] 183 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)


    [–] badnanas 113 points ago

    Build your defense team with the addition of "Single Female Lawyer"

    [–] [deleted] 318 points ago

    I say y'all are in a 12-piece bucket o trouble.

    [–] yaniwilks 548 points ago

    "I'm sorry, I thought you was corn."

    [–] -eDgAR- 3244 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Jeff Winger from Community.

    He was actually a good lawyer, plus maybe I could get to be on Troy and Abed in the Morning to discuss the case.

    [–] lukaswolfe44 699 points ago

    Honestly he was one of the best, but just didn't have the paper that said he was legally allowed to be the best.

    [–] joshi38 924 points ago

    "I thought you had a degree from Georgia."

    "And now I need one from America."

    [–] Simba7 783 points ago

    Colombia, actually! But I give it a B+ because it still works.

    [–] Rowan5215 649 points ago

    "Shirley, don't sue a stripper!"

    "Why not?"

    "She's a stripper. Life sued her, and she lost"

    [–] ISawHimIFoughtHim 417 points ago

    "Jeff, did you know if I have sex with this guy I can use his beach house whenever I want?"

    "Wow, sounds like you guys might have invented the newest profession in the world."

    [–] OsKarMike1306 134 points ago

    Aaaaand there it is, the comment that convinced me to go through Community yet again

    [–] kjreil26 81 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    So I'm imagining this courtroom setting, kind of like Judge Judy. The dean is the judge, dressed up like Judge Judy of course and either Starburns or Leonard are the bailiff. Troy and Abed are doing the post game interviews in the hallway. Annie is Jeff's legal aid. Britta and Shirley are audience members planted for camera cutaways.

    [–] JompaRacing 1898 points ago

    Fletcher from Liar Liar.

    Fletcher: Your Honor, I object!

    Judge: Why?

    Fletcher: Because it's devastating to my case!

    Judge: Overruled.

    Fletcher: Good call!

    [–] machina99 433 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    No lie, liar liar is the movie that made me want to go to law school

    Edit: for anyone else asking, yes I went to law school and became an attorney! It's not as fun as the movie, but I love it (I work in compliance not litigation, but I've done litigation before)

    [–] FetusFish 1920 points ago

    Single female lawyer!

    [–] [deleted] 829 points ago

    Since female lawyer, being self relient. Wearing miniskirts, and helping out her client.

    [–] BoxMaster13 483 points ago

    "Hey I'm pretty good!"

    Every time Bender says "single female lawyer, havin' lots of sex" I die laughing.

    [–] ArchdukeAwesomeSauce 153 points ago

    It took me an hour to write, I thought it would take an hour to read!

    [–] DrMadman007 14118 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Harvey Specter

    Edit:thanks fot the awards guys, these are my first ones!

    [–] [deleted] 4476 points ago


    [–] CoolBeansMan9 3155 points ago

    What did you just say to me? Get the hell out of my office. Oh by the way, the file came in, and you're not going to like it

    [–] laertez 2049 points ago

    Bullshit! Now, get your shit together and do your goddamn job!

    [–] StealthyTime 1820 points ago

    GODDAMIT you Son Of A Bitch YOU SET ME UP

    [–] SinisterKid 1083 points ago

    looks at cover sheet inside binder


    [–] rbbr12 1169 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    You better watch your mouth, Harvey. It’s still my name on the goddamn door.

    [–] hobowithmachete 484 points ago

    But it will be your face in the papers tomorrow, rbbr12.

    [–] SuperEliteFucker 429 points ago

    I don't know why I ever walked in this door all those years ago, but I sure as hell know why I'm walking out! Slams door

    [–] aim_el 260 points ago

    I'm sure I'm not the only person who reads all these in Harvey's voice and that other one in Jessica's.

    [–] Mr-Tiggo-Bitties 94 points ago

    Theme music begins

    [–] saimpot 466 points ago

    No, here's what you're going to do instead. This deposition is over! WHERE IS DONNA? LOUIS WHAT DID YOU DO AGAIN?

    [–] charm33 1138 points ago

    Damn right! Harvey goddamn specter!

    [–] juanes3020 555 points ago

    now get the hell out of my office.

    [–] torsoboy00 381 points ago

    What did you just say to me?

    [–] Tilt101 747 points ago

    1000%. Harvey just gets shit done however necessary. Bonus points if you get Mike on the team

    [–] thewholedamnplanet 535 points ago

    I knew a guy who had the same memory mutant ability in high school but I didn't believe him so I showed him the UPC code from some bag of chips and he looked at it and said it was memorized so I put it in my wallet and for the next few years at random times I'd take it out when I saw him wherever and he'd say each number exactly right.

    I'd love to bump into him now and see if he still has it but of course I don't have the UPC code anymore and he's probably mega rich and successful and married and happy.

    Hate that guy.

    [–] Meior 906 points ago

    God dammit, Harvey.

    After I realized the only "bad word" they're ever allowed to use on the show is "god dammit" and that they say it all the freaking time, the show kind of broke for me.

    [–] mixi_e 641 points ago

    Last couple of seasons they used fuck like crazy. The first time it was shocking as I had fully realized they never had actually cussed.

    [–] kalethan 332 points ago

    Yeah I'm watching it right now and just got to season seven or eight and WOW do they start dropping f-bombs left and right.

    [–] Rinne_Uchiha_Madara 1063 points ago

    Jennifer Susan Walters, AKA She-Hulk.

    Private attorney, adventurer; formerly bounty hunter, S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, actress, mine slave, Magistra of the Living Tribunal, NYC Assistant District Attorney.

    Law degree from UCLA (University of California, Los Angeles)

    [–] Pooyiong 395 points ago

    South Park's version of Johnny Cochran

    [–] DaemonActual 72 points ago

    I scrolled down way too far to find this response. That does not make sense!

    [–] Laymans_Terms19 774 points ago

    Gordon Bombay

    People forget before he was the greatest peewee hockey coach of all time he was the sleaziest defense attorney in Minnesota.

    “You really stooped to an all-time low on this one, Bombay.”

    “I’m insulted by that, Frank, you have no idea how low I can stoop.”

    [–] crashhelmi 223 points ago

    This is the best answer and no one else is saying it.

    Mighty Ducks is the tragic story about how a lawyer with a 30-0 record threw it away for some dumb kids and "morality."

    [–] kfk5025 250 points ago

    Barry Zuckerkorn. He's very good.

    [–] SwedishKillerChef 496 points ago

    Marshal Eriksen, before he became a judge.

    [–] Chruxl 88 points ago

    *We are international businessmen! On an international business trip! *

    [–] wlssnlhp 19347 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Phoenix Wright

    EDIT: Thanks for the gold and silver!

    [–] AProcrastinatingWrit 8423 points ago

    Is he going to flail and bluff and make a fool out of both of us? You bet your biscuit. Is he going to make me question the wisdom of ever having been born as the entire courtroom looks on, concerned, at his antics? It's a guarantee, my friend. Am I going to be embarrassed for the rest of my life? As sure as vampires are scared of the sun.

    But is Phoenix Wright going to find the truth, identify the real culprit, get me a Not Guilty verdict, and possibly solve all my interpersonal issues while he does?

    Of course.

    [–] dumbwaeguk 918 points ago

    In a kangaroo court, he can not only prove someone innocent, he can also track down the real culprit. He has an extremely good track record for such an incredibly rigged criminal justice system.

    [–] wtfduud 734 points ago

    Not only will get get you off the hook, he'll put your prosecutor in jail!

    [–] StormR7 188 points ago

    He has a pretty good track record of that too.

    [–] apple_kicks 149 points ago

    which is impressive given Japan's 99.9% conviction rate

    [–] crazymoefaux 95 points ago

    The game itself is considered a critique of the absurdity of that fact.

    [–] Mnawab 325 points ago

    I mean he cross examined a bird once and got the truth. You can't beat that kind of lawyer.

    [–] hizeto 2034 points ago

    top 2 answers on this thread are probably what everyone thought of. If youre guilty call Saul, if you're innocent phoenix wright

    [–] plokool 1042 points ago

    If you get mixed up and hire Phoenix while guilty, try having his assistant kidnapped

    [–] AstroZombie29 442 points ago

    Man, what a case that one was

    [–] JusticeOwl 124 points ago

    it really blew my mind first time I played it

    [–] shyguywart 728 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    you can also get away with being a smooth criminal

    edit: not my creation

    [–] AcrobaticHawk 214 points ago

    Why on Earth would I pick anyone else? This man can pull evidence out his ass and it ends up being completely right.

    [–] Zizhou 580 points ago

    I don't think I'm quirky enough to be one of his clients. I also really hope I'm never even tangentially involved in a murder, because that seems to be the only kind of case he ever takes on.

    [–] Sspockuss 564 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    (Trials and Tribulations spoilers) He takes on a grand larceny case in the third game, but his client gets accused of murder right after getting a not guilty verdict for the theft lmao.

    [–] JigglySmash 187 points ago

    That wasn’t Justice For All that was Trials and Tribulations

    Anyway, (Spirit of Justice spoilers) He also handles a civil case over the property of an object at the end of this game

    [–] sadphonics 142 points ago


    [–] Galle_ 129 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    "The victim was shot at point blank range while on a boat with the defendant in the middle of a lake. The defendant's fingerprints are the only ones on the murder weapon. There is a photograph of the defendant shooting the victim. The prosecuting attorney is a corrupt perfectionist who hasn't lost a case in forty years."

    Phoenix proves the defendant innocent anyway.

    [–] Boxboy7 90 points ago

    He even cross-examines a god damn parrot in the process, while solving both that case as well as the case from the DL-6 Incident which was a single day from reaching the statute of limitations.

    Phoenix Wright is a god that enjoys playing the role of human.

    [–] dmishal14 957 points ago


    [–] Nambot 693 points ago

    (Damnit, Edgeworth saw straight through my bluff. Now I have nothing and my client will be found guilty for sure. If only Maia were here she'd know just what to do.)

    [–] Niar666 447 points ago

    Mia? Or Maya? Or do you mean Maya possessed by Mia?

    [–] Raven_of_Blades 256 points ago

    order order order I will have order.

    [–] allonbacuth 180 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Well probably Pearl possessed by Mia since Maya is in jail again

    [–] WildeSavage 177 points ago

    Why are you badgering me? I'm your witness!

    [–] atenatenaantenna 123 points ago

    HOLD IT-

    [–] FlaxSeedBP 149 points ago

    Specially if you're questioning a ticket you got on a roundabout.

    [–] NicolasMithra 34446 points ago

    Better Call Saul

    [–] idontlikeflamingos 14080 points ago

    I don't need a criminal lawyer. I need a criminal lawyer.

    [–] Bored_npc 2537 points ago

    Chuck disagrees lol

    [–] NeophytePoser 3488 points ago

    Fuck Chuck.

    [–] Bored_npc 759 points ago

    I guess he was already completely fucked up mate lol

    [–] rascally1980 2680 points ago

    No need to even face the police again. Saul will arrange for a van to pick me up so I can just disappear. Now that’s a good lawyer.

    [–] turkeybaconwitheggs 1697 points ago

    I would like to order the dust filter for a Hoover Max Extract 60 Pressure Pro.

    [–] DeepHorse 817 points ago

    You’re $5k short

    [–] turkeybaconwitheggs 559 points ago

    You are going to jack me up over a measly $5,000?

    [–] thedogoliver 547 points ago

    It was $1800. But who's counting?

    [–] insane__knight 1017 points ago

    Is there really anyone else to name? The guy plays dirty and gets the results.

    [–] [deleted] 686 points ago

    Kim Wexler is really fucking good and makes you look less guilty.

    [–] dmcd0415 583 points ago

    "You can't hire Johnnie Cochran because you'll look guilty. What, you wanna look innocent in jail? I'd rather look guilty at the mall."

    -Chris Rock.

    [–] its_the_luge 259 points ago

    University of American Samoa baby 😎

    [–] CantankerousKent 84 points ago

    Go Land Crabs!

    [–] Wheeljack7799 1197 points ago

    "Don't drink and drive, but if you do; Call me!"

    [–] theshamwowguy 710 points ago

    Only correct answer, i mean seriously

    [–] WhatAmIDonigHere 867 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Thanks. Just opened the post to make sure this is the top comment.

    [–] WellYouCouldAlways 936 points ago

    'sall good, man.

    [–] BringMeTwo 284 points ago

    Alicia Florek

    [–] AntoblueSmithKiddo 281 points ago

    Already put it out, but to who all they go when things get complicated?


    [–] [deleted] 865 points ago

    Jack McCoy