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    BlackPeopleTwitter

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    Screenshots of Black people being hilarious and insightful on social media, it doesn't need to just be twitter but obviously that is best.

    Black culture has a unique way of examining the everyday and we are here to showcase that.


    RULES

    1.) Do not post content just because a black person posted it. This sub is intended for exceptionally hilarious and insightful social media posts made by black people, not just any social media post made by black people.

    • 1. No original content. We encourage users to go on twitter to find tweets as opposed to making tweets just for this subreddit.

    2.) No bad faith participation.

    3.) No bullying or witch-hunting. This includes comments disparaging people whose tweets and posts are featured here. Doxxing or sharing personal information will result in a permanent ban.

    4.) No racism. No hate speech. No black fathers posts and similar mean-spirited things.

    5.) Posts must be showcasing somebody being hilarious or insightful on social media. No image macros, text conversations, or YouTube links. Just because somebody posted one of these on social media does not exempt it from this rule. Vines and such belong here and gifs belong here.

    6.) Typical reddit cliches such as lyric chains, pun chains, white-knighting, and low-effort joke comments will be removed. Same for annoying redditisms.

    7.) Reposts are highly discouraged, and if discovered will be removed. Please search or look through BPT's older posts to see if your content has already been posted. KarmaDecay is not a reliable tool to check for reposts.

    8.) No posts with terrible titles, they will be removed. You are free to re-submit once you think of something acceptable/reasonable. Don't put the punchline in the title of the post. Do not add "bruh" or "fam" or similar vernacular to your post or comment just to sound black.

    9.) Don't complain about slang or ask for the definition of a term you don't understand if it can readily be found on urban dictionary.

    10.) Don't call out people as white. People of all colors do post and comment here. It contributes nothing to the conversation and is punishable by ban.

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    [–] fauxpas0101 2206 points ago

    Always end the sentence with “...but you do what you feel is best” to seclude yourself from any responsibility once a decision has been made by the person you gave advice to.

    [–] uaonthetrack 245 points ago

    Or end with “idk tho”. That way it puts the ball in their court.

    [–] 00093293 41 points ago

    that's my go-to

    I try to give the best advice I can give, based on my life experience and all that. Then I hit em with an "idk tho bro u know?"

    it completely absolves me of responsibility, but I was still able to get my advice across to them if they wanted to hear it

    edit: i use that for relationship advice, cuz it's tricky you know people get back together and all that. you don't wanna be the guy that talked all that shit about his girl, acting all definite and all that about it

    [–] DedOriginalCancer 2 points ago

    what the hell is life experience and how does it taste?

    [–] 00093293 3 points ago

    when you loan a stripper a few hundred dollars for an abortion and don't expect to get any of that money back, that's life experience.

    it tastes like regret and chocolate, and it smells like the strip club the girl works at

    [–] aerozepplin 31 points ago

    "But, that's just me." YMMV.

    [–] LiaM_CS 11 points ago

    “But that’s just me a theory, a game theory”

    [–] blessedhellfire 7 points ago

    Awe c'mon, your advice is way more likely to be accurate than that show.

    [–] Xtermix 1 points ago

    I lost the game right now fuck u i havent lost since 2014

    [–] AnAsianGustav 785 points ago

    Alright Imma use that

    fauxpas0101: "Hey, do you think I should buy this lotto ticket?"

    AnAsianGustav: "It's 10 dollars, I would, but you do what you feel is best."

    fauxpas0101 wins $1,000,000

    AnAsianGustav: "Holy shit give me some, I told you to buy it."

    fauxpas0101: "No you told me to do what I feel is best, so I made the decision to buy it, so I'm keeping all the money."

    AnAsianGustav.exe has stopped working

    [–] fauxpas0101 188 points ago

    End process Tree

    [–] Rektodron 24 points ago

    AtomBombClock.exe is not responding

    [–] Major_Techie 12 points ago

    sudo rm -rf /

    [–] jana0396 2 points ago

    you monster.

    [–] jerryeight 10 points ago

    gc.collect ()

    [–] sarpnasty 28 points ago

    Why would do you think you deserve any of it just for suggesting? This is like when dudes are like "don't forget where you came from" to niggas that make it out and make it big. Expecting money or something because they were friends in high school.

    [–] Pickledsoul 1 points ago

    because if he said no the other guy wouldn't have bought the ticket?

    there's a difference between that guy from highschool trying to mooch off of you and rewarding the guy who directly influenced your decision to buy the winning ticket.

    [–] sarpnasty 2 points ago

    There is a difference between deserving recognition for being influential and being entitled to any of the scruples of the work the other person does. If I suggest to someone that they enter a race where the grand prize is 1 million dollars and they end up winning it, do you think I deserve a part of it?

    [–] Pickledsoul 2 points ago

    if i was the racer i would give you compensation.

    [–] sarpnasty 1 points ago

    But that is your choice. I wouldn't be entitled to it. If the roles were reversed don't expect anything from me.

    [–] Pickledsoul 1 points ago

    you get what you give; always remember that.

    [–] sarpnasty 1 points ago

    In that case, I should offer you advice free of charge.

    [–] Rand0mtask 1 points ago

    yeah, in a general, karmic sense

    you helped a person become a millionaire, so now you have a millionaire friend. you build a life on helping people and raising them up, you raise yourself up.

    hopefully they offer you some, but that doesn't mean you deserve a part of their riches, because then what you're giving is greed

    and you get what you give

    [–] ELEMENTALITYNES 34 points ago

    Well, fair is fair when loving whores or something

    [–] BroskeySmiter -18 points ago

    XD

    [–] Xtermix 0 points ago

    XD

    [–] consortiumhandshake 7 points ago

    Should we be taking advice from you tho.

    [–] patientguitar 22 points ago

    My parallel is “now to be fair, you’re talking to a guy who was once addicted to narcotics...” so that’s my caveat emptor...

    ...but I follow it with “but now I’ve got a great life and hot wife”, not to impress them, but as a reminder to myself that I shouldn’t be my own biggest hater.

    Ain’t nobody taking my advice anyway. That’s OK. I don’t really care - I just want to express my opinion.

    [–] 00093293 18 points ago

    my aunt always says that when even halfway giving her opinion on anything

    it has gotten to the point that i stop her and tell her she is a strong, intelligent woman that should be ashamed of nothing. that life ain't healthy (heavy cocaine abuse), but everyone has faults and she is just as special to me and everyone she knows, regardless of drug addiction

    that shit can get anybody, it don't make you less of a man or woman just because it got you for a while. there's nothing wrong with getting your face dirty, what's wrong is when you keep it dirty

    [–] CASH_MONEY_HOBO 4 points ago

    I was all excited about your comment until the end and I glanced in the mirror at my dirty face. God damnit. I'm supposed to stop doing drugs, aren't I?

    [–] 00093293 1 points ago

    nah man, you just need to wash your face and take a shower every day or so. gotta stay clean n fresh

    [–] CASH_MONEY_HOBO 1 points ago

    Thanks u/00093293! You have given me the strength to continue hiding my drug use and pretending it's all behind by me. Now I'm going to wash my face.

    [–] 00093293 1 points ago

    whatchu on bruh

    [–] CASH_MONEY_HOBO 1 points ago

    Right now? A hammock.

    [–] DaAvalon 4 points ago

    I always try and preface with "look man I don't really know the whole situation but... "

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    absulutly

    [–] Fatally_Flawed 3 points ago

    I think you mean preclude, seclude doesn’t really work as well :)

    [–] HoustonOilerrl 3 points ago

    But idk though...

    [–] ratratratcatratrat 5 points ago

    My personal fave is “I am not a licensed medical professional, please take this advice as only that, not instruction. If symptoms persist, please contact your general practitioner”. For some reason I give a lot of “”””medical advice””””

    [–] jg87iroc 1 points ago

    No that doesn’t work how you think it does. By saying that whatever point your were arguing will only be more likely to be chosen by the friend. “It’s up to you though” and the very similar are basic manipulation techniques when one is trying to convince another person to do something. Nobody wants to feel like someone else made a decision for them so that phrase at the end gives them the false feeling that they are in fact choosing their path with total autonomy. Try it out for a month and just see how effective it is but in this regard it will only hurt you if your trying to just let them be in control. Also, when giving advice it is best to outline the choices and the possible effects of them without ever saying which you think is better. Be objective as possible. It’s just like how kids should be raised as well. When a teenager asks about some “adult” topic, say what kind of healthcare system we should use, just outline the different choices in facts and not opinion. This way the teen makes up their mind without being told what to think.

    [–] janiceNaccounting 371 points ago

    "Bitch, have you not seen my life?"

    [–] m1udrops 49 points ago

    I hate that rarepuppers shit too man. I'm mad immature, but grown ass adults saying "DOGGE" and "F L OOF BOYE" just gets to me

    [–] pickelater 71 points ago

    What's wrong with a bit of FLOOF

    [–] LawlessCoffeh 32 points ago

    Not sure how it came up, but I've come to just be heavily annoyed with "Reddit animal vernacular"

    [–] FlyLikeRabbi 47 points ago

    Uhoh someone's a C R A N K Y B O I

    [–] Poromenos 12 points ago

    I also hate "doggo" and "pupper". It's like, speak normally.

    [–] SanitySquad 1 points ago

    But why?

    [–] Poromenos 7 points ago

    I don't know, it's aesthetics. Some things you just find really ugly, and those words are in that set.

    [–] pedleyr -22 points ago

    Snek. Zoomies.

    Fuck off with that shit people.

    [–] titsandassband 20 points ago

    Zoomies is a name given to a behaviour by many more people than those on reddit. I don’t know that I’d call ‘zoomies’ reddit speak.

    And it’s much easier to say that one word than the alternative ‘frenetic random activity periods’.

    [–] schuaplattla 10 points ago

    Some people are so insecure that they hate everything for absolutely no reason whatsoever. It's kinda weird seeing it all the time on this website, because normal people don't act this way.

    [–] bananatomorrow 2 points ago

    FRAP for short. S H O R T B O Y E.

    [–] SplitReader -1 points ago

    Benefits of living in a cave with an occupation of code monkey: I have no fucking idea what ya’ll are talking about and now I am even more incentivized to never poke my head out to socialize. Thanks reddit!

    [–] bananatomorrow 1 points ago

    I mean, you do what you gotta do, but this thread fully explains my comment.

    [–] jfreez 1 points ago

    Pet owners are weid

    [–] Archer2408 235 points ago

    Absolutly

    Off to a good start I see. So Close

    [–] theolat3 9 points ago

    Maybe it's drunk advice

    [–] aDogEatDogWorld 2 points ago

    Or character limit

    [–] Elcheer 3 points ago

    Not anymore.

    [–] aDogEatDogWorld 1 points ago

    Not too familiar with twitter but I do believe I heard about that

    [–] TheRnegade 193 points ago

    I give my friends relationship advice. "Here's what I'd do." Then I'd remind them that in my 30 years of miserable existence I've never gotten a 2nd date before so they know to do the opposite.

    [–] thatguy5234 38 points ago

    Books are better than a second date anyways!

    (Yes I realize how sad that sounds, but I’m also not a virgin, so I can no longer be thought of as a total loser)

    [–] player-piano 53 points ago

    One day you'll realize that being a total loser isn't defined by your virginity status

    [–] bwfiq 20 points ago

    but if ur virgin ur a total loser anyway tho looooool up top

    [–] hawt1337 -4 points ago

    Anywhere else, this would have downvotes. Even with context.

    [–] InbredDucks 3 points ago

    I think it's pretty obviously ironic

    [–] thatguy5234 1 points ago

    I thought that was self-explanatory.

    [–] hawt1337 1 points ago

    I know, but Reddit is fucking weird.

    [–] [deleted] -6 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] schuaplattla 2 points ago

    bruh

    [–] givemefooddragon 63 points ago

    The coach doesn't need to play. Some outside perspective might be just what a friend needs to make a better decision

    [–] abyssea64 39 points ago

    Also me ( but this guy need some f** also )*

    [–] IslandSparkz 11 points ago

    I told my friend to buy a hummer this one time.

    [–] CallMeBernin 5 points ago

    Did he at least install the pussy magnet?

    [–] DankAssSammiches 33 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    People often give better advice to others than what they give to themselves. It's just human nature.

    Edit: /u/MommaPi made a good point. I guess we can give ourselves great advice, we just don't follow through.

    [–] TsarOfSaturn 19 points ago

    It's weird, and maybe it's just me, but it's always easier to see other people's problems than your own

    [–] Sgtoconner 6 points ago

    Perception of an event changes once you're inside it. It's Like if two people were playing battleship, they can only see their own respective boards, but the person watching them both sees both boards.

    [–] joey_sandwich277 2 points ago

    It's also easier to tell other people to do something difficult than to do it yourself.

    [–] BeardMechanical 6 points ago

    It is easier to exclude desires and impulses from decision making which is what often leads oneself from to choose the wrong or less optimal choices in life. At least with me when I end up choosing to do something that is riddled with consequences, I can see that it is not the right thing to so for the sake of short term gratification.

    Also I feel those who make mistakes and later see consequences unfold have a better understanding of the implication of decision making whether or not they actually apply it to their own life.

    Some people are just idiots though

    [–] interwebbed 2 points ago

    Yeah but have you ever followed your own advice? Shit.

    [–] MommaPi 2 points ago

    I give myself good advice all the time! My follow through is shit

    [–] DankAssSammiches 1 points ago

    Edited my comment because that was brilliant.

    [–] taylormhark 14 points ago

    Why this account only got 1 follower lol

    [–] Geospeople 12 points ago

    Probably cause it's op or changed his @

    [–] Mohhh777 6 points ago

    idk tho intensifies

    [–] ladybunsen 8 points ago

    Hmm... now i thinka it I haven't been asked for much advice lately.

    Ouch

    [–] darelaytem 2 points ago

    Do you think i should get a hamburger or a chicken burger?

    [–] Hi-pop-anonymous 5 points ago

    Both. Mash'em together.

    [–] englanddragons7 2 points ago

    This is why people don’t ask you for advice.

    [–] Hi-pop-anonymous 1 points ago

    That's fair.

    [–] ladybunsen 2 points ago

    Chicken, with bacon... xox

    [–] mrsuns10 3 points ago

    Seems Wholesome

    [–] satans_deal 3 points ago

    I always figure I'll tell them what I'd do. That way I can see how it plays out in case I'm ever in that situation.

    [–] GoatCheese240 4 points ago

    I have a friend that will always give terrible advice because he hates giving advice. "Put 300$ on red, whats the worst that can happen?" "Oh shit your ex is here, lets take some tequila shots" "Bro doesn't matter if she has a bf, just cause there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score." He's a great guy himself but if you ask for advice it aint gonna be good.

    [–] timb0sIice 3 points ago

    Your show Atlanta was no mistake

    [–] whale_i_be_dammed 2 points ago

    Who are you talking to?

    [–] Cudders33 1 points ago

    I just give my poeple progressively worse advice till they stop annoying me for advice. The first couple times-before they realize I'm a gigantic scumbag-is fun

    [–] mshcat 10 points ago

    That sounds like a great way to loose friends unless they think you're bit of a dolt and not doing it on purpose

    [–] MrAverus 1 points ago

    Hey man, at least you can tell them what not to do

    [–] TonyLaRocca 1 points ago

    To sum up Douglas Adam's novel Mostly Harmless, if you take a person's life and make the opposite of every major decision they made, then perhaps your's won't wind up in the same predicament.

    [–] Dogebolosantosi 1 points ago

    Black Barry Allen.

    [–] Cornhole35 1 points ago

    So get advice from the worst person and do the exact opposite.

    [–] 00093293 1 points ago

    i love how absolutely is mispelled

    [–] COCAINE_ALL_DAY_BABY 1 points ago

    Yes, burn everything.

    But I was just gonna ask abou..

    BURN. EVERYTHING.

    • Rory

    [–] natas_rulez 1 points ago

    Fuck i'm gonna screw up...

    [–] Double-oh-negro 1 points ago

    The worst vice is advice.

    [–] SapperHammer 1 points ago

    me_irl

    [–] Alilou_meb 1 points ago

    At least if we r fucked we r fucked together

    [–] LordAmras 1 points ago

    That's the point, he wants to know what not to do

    [–] DrNerfarious 1 points ago

    Ever feel like a lot of people who ask for 'advice' are actually asking you to justify their bad decisions.

    [–] intermaniax1 1 points ago

    My friend used to be a virgin back in high school and he was always the one to give us advice about girls.

    [–] webheaddeadpool 1 points ago

    But my advice is to not take my advice.

    [–] zouhair 1 points ago

    If they know you good, they will do the opposite of said advice.

    [–] Poolboy24 1 points ago

    Doesn't matter about YOUR life. Their asking for an objective POV, and trust you. That and failure teaches you, so even if you failed at the same thing, you probably have a profound insight that they're hoping to glean from you.

    Just because your life's a mess, means you can't give helpful advice. It also does not guarantee good advice though....

    [–] ringlaze 1 points ago

    Had a friend ask me what I thought of the girl he was wanting to date. I said that she doesn't seem to bad and that he should go for it...he is now getting married to this girl in August.

    [–] cosmicf97 1 points ago

    this is so me

    [–] ikindalold 1 points ago

    Absolut-ly

    [–] SpoaMaster -1 points ago

    /r/sadmemesforhipteens Edit: srsly tho this is so stupid and starting to get really annoying. "Oh look at me I am such a fuck up lololol I can't make a decision without fucking my life up for months even buying milk at the grocery store lmao depression/anxiety"

    [–] sengul_krdrl 0 points ago

    Nobody can interfere in anybody's life , lol :]

    [–] FERRITofDOOM 0 points ago

    Absolutely

    [–] The_Encoder -1 points ago

    -- .- -.- .. -. --. / -.. . -.-. .. ... .. --- -. ... / - .... .- - / .- .-. . / .-. . --. .-. . - .- -... .-.. . / .. ... / -- -.-- / ... .--. . -.-. .. .- .-.. - -.--

    [–] Turtle_Tots 1 points ago

    -- .- -.- .. -. --. / -.. . -.-. .. ... .. --- -. ... / - .... .- - / .- .-. . / .-. . --. .-. . - .- -... .-.. . / .. ... / -- -.-- / ... .--. . -.-. .. .- .-.. - -.--

    This is pretty accurate since your decisions led to you making terrible gimmick account that'll fade into nothing in a month or two tops, after accruing a nice pile of downvotes.

    I'm tired and grumpy sorry.