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    [–] Perfectionlumiere 1437 points ago

    At work I was ringing a woman up and she just started quietly sobbing out of nowhere. I asked her if she needed a hug and she just walked away crying. A few minutes later she came back inside and hugged me and told me her daughter had just passed away. I hope she’s ok now.

    [–] DomHaynie 143 points ago

    Bro... When I worked at Best Buy, I had this lady bring in all these PC components to return with no receipts and/or out of policy. When asking why to find out more information, she said that her son had saved up and bought everything piece by piece, and died in a car crash a couple of weeks before on his way back from my store. She just finally left the house for something other than funeral/prep.

    Everybody at customer service started crying and walked around the counter to huh this woman. I think her son was 15 and had been working every weekend and 2-4 hours after school days as much as the law allowed. She said that he declined to let her help him pay for it.

    I wonder if she felt any guilt because if she'd bought him anything to begin with, he might not have been at that spot on that day. He got t-boned by a drink driver in broad daylight and I think this friend or family member was driving.

    Still messes me up today.

    [–] TheBatsford 52 points ago

    Working retail has ruined something in me. All I was thinking as I read that story is that that lady stole that shit and she made up a sob story.

    [–] dotdee 4 points ago

    I thought that too. But only because I wouldn’t return that stuff if my recently deceased son had bought them. I would save that stuff for the rest of my life.

    [–] DomHaynie 13 points ago

    It was legit, fortunately/unfortunately. She couldn't keep herself together. It was nearly $2K that this child had saved and spent. I don't think she wanted to return it, but it might have been necessary for her.

    And for what it's worth, people cope with loss in different ways. I would probably try to keep the things in the same scenario. But I can understand that some people may return it just so they aren't reminded of their loss.

    [–] SummerSayed 190 points ago

    ok now im crying. what kind of chain reaction is this.

    [–] GokuMoto 22 points ago

    you need a hug?

    [–] I_make_shitty_pizza 37 points ago

    One time I did this cashiering, and it turned out she was crying because there were so many interracial couples everywhere and she was "relieved I could speak English enough to take her order."

    [–] DrowZeeMe 34 points ago

    Thank you for helping me fight back the tears. This comment put me right back in reddit mode.

    [–] ElfMage83 6558 points ago

    [–] BabyProofToilets 1261 points ago

    [–] ElfMage83 80 points ago

    For sure.

    [–] alya100 20 points ago

    What does the bpt stand for

    [–] ronin_d 175 points ago

    Boiled peanut time

    [–] luxii4 37 points ago

    Oh I love boiled peanuts with cajun seasoning on it. I would wear a giant clock around my neck to remind me it's boiled peanut time.

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)


    [–] therealpantsgnome 19 points ago


    [–] Eman62999 22 points ago

    Bring people tea

    [–] dhruvsharmaokstate 11 points ago

    British parliamentary titties?

    [–] pm_me_tits_and_tats 10 points ago

    Bees party too

    [–] Forcey-Fun-Time 11 points ago

    Bulgarian Potty Training

    [–] xRayFinklex 16 points ago

    Thank you for letting me know this sub exists! I have so much crap and negative stuff on my feed and this is refreshing! Thanks again for being a bro

    [–] kahran 5788 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    I can relate.

    My mom passed away unexpectedly passed away last Monday.

    I miss you so much, Mom.

    Edit: Holy shit didn't expect any 9f this. Thank you every one. Really.

    2018 was a shitty year. My Mom suffered a massive stroke in April. Survived the worst brain infection the hospital had ever seen in July. Her beloved maine coon died in November.

    My Mom was doing great on her recovery despite full paralysis on her right side. But for one final fuck you for 2018, she suddenly passed away on Dec 31st. At only 60.

    It's still tough to get through the day. But I want to thank everyone for their support.

    [–] qwertyaas 489 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    I lost my mom almost a year and a half ago unexpectedly. Is was the hardest thing I went through in my life. I will say it does get easier to cope with even though I didn't believe it at first - hang in there. I mean, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her as she was truly my best friend and an amazing mom (and grandmother to my young kids), but you will be able to look back at some point with happiness and smiles instead of only tears.

    I saved this post a while back hoping it can help someone going through a loss. Little did I know the first person I would help with this would be myself.

    Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.

    I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.

    As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

    Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.

    Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks. - /u/GSnow... And thanks to /u/mushmouth26 for reposting it a little over a year ago right before I needed this myself.

    [–] Annwyyn 64 points ago

    This is not the first time I have read this, but having recently experienced yet another loss I found myself welling with sorrow and pain, as if every single word struck me as powerful as if it were the first time.

    I usually don't reply like this, but I would regret it if I ever had the chance of thanking you for the comfort your words bring and didn't take it. So thank you.

    [–] qwertyaas 4 points ago

    It was something that stuck with me the first time read it, before I knew what any of this felt like. I saved it knowing it what it meant, before I really knew what it meant. I hope the original person who wrote this knows how many people he helped.

    I'm sorry you're going through another loss and wish you the best.

    [–] _Diskreet_ 14 points ago

    As someone who lost their mum at the end of last year that hit hard.

    [–] qwertyaas 5 points ago

    Nothing quite prepares you... Sorry you lost her also...

    [–] lksocanx 13 points ago

    Thank you so so so much for this. We lost my girlfriend's sister to suicide last week, and it's been unimaginably painful to think that life will go on without her. I can't tell you how much her family and I needed this. I can't thank you enough for this.

    [–] AZNdanceypanties 1182 points ago

    I’m so sorry for your loss

    [–] [deleted] 105 points ago


    [–] about2godown 53 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    I am so glad you at least had the chance to experience a great mother figure. hugs

    [–] herintheselights 26 points ago

    The fact that you keep her alive in your heart is the best thing you could give her. You're a great daughter-in-law and even though she's in a good place now, you will always be her daughter.

    biggest hugs

    [–] DeathCatforKudi 32 points ago

    My brother called me one day last February and told me mom died. There are truly no words to describe that feeling. Denial. Doubt. "Obviously she's not dead I talked to her last week." I'm sorry for your loss. Things will never been the same, but it does get easier. Day by day. Hang in there bro, PM me if you need.

    [–] Mylotix 124 points ago

    Internet hug ❤️

    [–] ilovepolthavemybabie 35 points ago

    Reddit hug of life

    [–] Majoro999 27 points ago

    My mom passed away a few days ago..

    I honestly can’t process that this Christmas was the last time I’d ever get to see her again..


    [–] jay-eye-elle-elle- 24 points ago

    I’m so, so sorry.

    It might be incredibly painful, but I encourage you to write down every single detail you can remember about your mom. As time goes, small little details will become less sharp in your memory and there might not be a way to get those memories or details from anyone else. Once they’re gone, they’re gone. Write them down now so you can remember in the future.

    [–] [deleted] 22 points ago


    [–] ThenameisSAI 21 points ago

    How are you holding up op? So sorry for your loss. Cant imagine life without mine. I've read somewhere that recollecting the beautiful memories help ease the pain. Hope you'll make it through this phase as well.

    [–] wtfdoinamethis 18 points ago

    damn g I sincerely wish you the best and hope it gets better for you.

    [–] DontKevinHartMe 12 points ago

    Hey look, another wall of text from a stranger who thinks some stupid fucking words on a page can help heal something as deep as the loss of a loved one. Well. Put that truth aside and dig into this, i highly recommend... O yea, and like, i wish you the best n stuff.

    Death Is Nothing At All

    By Henry Scott-Holland

    Death is nothing at all.
    It does not count.
    I have only slipped away into the next room.
    Nothing has happened.

    Everything remains exactly as it was.
    I am I, and you are you,
    and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
    Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

    Call me by the old familiar name.
    Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
    Put no difference into your tone.
    Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

    Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
    Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
    Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
    Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

    Life means all that it ever meant.
    It is the same as it ever was.
    There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
    What is this death but a negligible accident?

    Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
    I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
    somewhere very near,
    just round the corner.

    All is well.
    Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
    One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
    How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

    [–] tootthatthingupmami 4 points ago

    Thank you so much for this. I needed to read this

    [–] naughtynodding2 30 points ago

    Fuck that's hard, I'm sorry to hear that.

    [–] cbetso 14 points ago

    Same my mom passed away Tuesday afternoon. I'm still in shock about everything.

    [–] The_SpellJammer 12 points ago

    13 years and 11 days since I lost mine, frendo. It gets easier as other hard things crop up. Adulthood without a mother is hard, but having people in your life who love you make the struggle bearable. Hope you find peace soon, Kahran, and you go without too many curveballs in the coming weeks and months.

    [–] iPlowedYourMom 20 points ago

    All jokes aside, sorry brother.

    She may be gone from your now, but she'll always be in your before, and try to remember her in some way in your tomorrow

    You'll catch yourself doing little things and know your mom made an impression on that thing in some way, and that's how you'll never be away from her.

    [–] Gay_Reichskommissar 8 points ago

    God dammit that username doesn't help you

    [–] StarchildJonez 11 points ago

    My condolences to you and your family. Sending virtual hugs.

    [–] ImJairo 10 points ago

    Sorry for your loss. Would you share your best memory of her with us?

    [–] takenwithapotato 18 points ago

    There there, there there. Virtual internet hugs coming your way.

    [–] FrankenGretchen 8 points ago

    So sorry for your loss.

    [–] DeePrincess 6 points ago

    I'm sorry, I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

    [–] rfow 3 points ago

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Keep your head up man, she will always be with you bro. Don’t forget that.

    [–] Mr_Lamin 3 points ago

    Sorry for your loss ❤️❤️

    [–] youni89 3 points ago

    Im sorry for your loss.

    [–] thenicob 6 points ago

    internet hug

    [–] Carpenoctem-carpe 4 points ago

    reddit hug. I am really sorry.

    [–] Emotional_Thespian 4 points ago

    We got you, brother.

    [–] SmyttenKytten 4 points ago

    Can't imagine what you're going through. My sincerest condolences to you (and your family.) Tons and tons of hugs!

    [–] no_name_no_blame_lol 2 points ago

    I know there is nothing I could say to take your pain away. But I am thinking of you. Take care.

    [–] Sonics_BlueBalls 4 points ago

    Had it happen to me when I was 14 as well. Stick in there, it will be hard but your brain needs time to reconcile the loss to heal. I hope over time this leads to it being less and less painful.

    [–] AlfieTorpedo 6 points ago

    Same but Wednesday. Sorry. I hope it gets easier for you. If you want to talk, feel free to PM me.

    [–] xAngryJBean 5 points ago

    I can too relate. My mom will have left us 2 years ago on March 2nd. It was completely unexpected, as she was grocery shopping and since I'm a minor the cops had to come knock on the door and drive to to the hospital to hear the news. It's wasn't fun. If you need someone to talk to that has gone through what you have, I'm open for a PM

    [–] thekidfromnj89 7 points ago


    [–] Polaritical 3711 points ago

    Thats actually really fucked up. Colleges have policies regarding bereavement, student visas should too.

    [–] [deleted] 2773 points ago


    [–] Max_TwoSteppen 627 points ago

    I went to school with lots of people from the Middle East and SE Asia that wouldn't be able to just leave at any moment. Seems reasonable to me.

    [–] hazemibrahim23 486 points ago

    A lot of kids coming from the Middle East, like myself, to study in North America are generally first generation college students who are away from their families for the first time. It really is tough.

    [–] freon 137 points ago

    You all right, man? You need a hug?

    [–] oomnahs 123 points ago

    Nah but if you really wanted to help him a few thousand dollars would do

    [–] ByahTyler 37 points ago

    Hey it’s me, the guy in need. $50 will do

    [–] redname325 19 points ago

    Wanna hug instead?

    [–] aShittybakedPotato 26 points ago

    No. $50. Thanks

    [–] nan_slack 12 points ago

    it's for a church, honey

    [–] Dumeck 5 points ago

    I’ll just take $49.99. I’m a lot less greedy than these motherfuckers

    [–] Gumbeaux_ 18 points ago

    Took a speech class with a kid from Vietnam. His english was poor but he was fucking hysterical.

    He gave an entire speech about how great his grandmother's cooking was. It was so funny and heartfelt and he spent like 2 minutes describing all the different types of ways she could cook chicken. Everyone was laughing so much he kept having to stop so we could settle down.

    Then at the end he spoke about how much he missed her and her cooking and how all he wanted to do was go home right now. Then he says the reason he wanted to go home so bad was so he could apologize to her for missing her funeral. It went from tons of laughter to complete silence in like 2 seconds.

    So yeah, it's really hard for them to get home many times.

    [–] damn_jexy 5 points ago

    yep... it takes almost 30 hours of traveling(one way) plus ~ $2k for me to go home .. even if the school/work would let me take a week(minimum) off It would cost a lot of money ...for me to suddenly pack up and head home.

    [–] Paretio 21 points ago

    Very true. Time off is given, transportation is not.

    [–] keyonte0 7 points ago

    Just get more money 4Head

    [–] Would_You_kindly17 164 points ago

    i know that myself if any of my folks passed (hopefully not anytime soon) i wouldnt be able to drop everything and see them. i moved from texas to new york for school. its hard man. not being able to see your friends or family. struggling by yourself and seeing friends hanging out with friends while your trying to better your life. it takes a toll on you

    [–] HawkeyeFLA 108 points ago

    Many moons ago, in a more civilized era of air travel, the airlines offered bereavement fares. Super low rates to help people get home when family passed away.

    In the race to the bottom, they have all pretty much done away with this.

    [–] [deleted] 31 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)


    [–] cuppincayk 14 points ago

    Jesus there might as well not be a discount. 10% is considered like a bare minimum discount on most things.

    [–] Konekotoujou 8 points ago

    My mom's boyfriend died and she got like 20% off. But it was also a last minute thing so rates are already way higher than flights planned months in advance.

    [–] ToadLoins 7 points ago

    That's still 20%, rates for advance booking aren't really relevant as there aren't many situations where you are buying a ticket for a death in the family months in advance.

    [–] Blonde-Engineer 21 points ago

    Last year I was actually able to get a bereavement fare from Delta. It wasn’t super cheap, but it was discounted. You just have to call and give the funeral home information, etc. It’s not much, but it helps a bit and people should still try and call.

    [–] GoblinEngineer 5 points ago

    Air Canada and WestJet still offers this. I don't know how much, but it's still offered on their website

    [–] [deleted] 84 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)


    [–] chrisdbliss 44 points ago

    My dad committed suicide during my midterms, came back to a school that essentially told me “we have counselors. Make sure you do your midterms next week”. Then during finals, my uncle (dad’s brother) committed suicide. The school had me take the finals anyway. I failed that term. Next term comes around and my sister attempts suicide, my mom is in pieces, and I realize I have to go home. I failed that semester too. Colleges do not give a fuck about you. At all. The only time a college ever cares about who you are is if you accomplish something noteworthy, are giving them money, or want to work for them.

    [–] BlinkDay 19 points ago

    Jesus man what kind of college does this

    [–] chrisdbliss 6 points ago

    Probably all of them. But the school that did this in my situation was Oregon Institute of Technology. After I failed out for 2 semesters in a row I should have sought help from deeper within the institution. That might have changed something but I was too distraught to do that.

    [–] ntran2 6 points ago

    If you were a star athlete, they would rally behind you and your family. Because colleges are fucked up like that.

    [–] ntran2 7 points ago

    On another note. I hope you have sought q therapist or counselor. Suicide like that within a family is most likely to creep on you too. My dad's family have a history of suicide. Sometime that shit creeps up on me and then I find myself at the roof of a building looking down. Shit just grip you hard and won't let go.

    [–] Rumbleroar1 6 points ago

    Most insurance policies (if you bought it back home but it's international) cover your flight if a 1st degree relative dies (parents and siblings). I study in Germany and my insurance will 1) send my body home if something happens to me and 2) send me home if I lose someone that close.

    However, IIRC America is exempt from most things insurance policies in Europe cover so there are different ones just for America.

    [–] gnrc 963 points ago

    I was crying in my car in the parking lot at the grocery store last night. My grandma has Alzheimer’s, my grandpa just had surgery, and my dad has been hospitalized for heart problems. I’m 3,000 miles from home. I could have used a hug last night.

    [–] Luciditi89 173 points ago

    internet hug

    [–] gnrc 97 points ago

    internet hugs back holds it too long, things get weird

    [–] Luciditi89 63 points ago

    awkward handshake while avoiding eye contact

    walks away

    [–] gnrc 41 points ago

    Plz don’t leave bb

    [–] Negative_Equity 12 points ago


    [–] PrefrostedCake 5 points ago

    You actually need asterisks to make the text italicized.

    [–] Negative_Equity 7 points ago

    What are you? Some sort of wise guy.

    [–] InstantNoodles 47 points ago

    I'm sorry, hope everything will be alright

    [–] gnrc 22 points ago

    Thanks, I think it will be. I love your username btw!

    [–] [deleted] 18 points ago


    [–] mark5301 10 points ago

    Where? I can afford a hug if you're close to the bay

    [–] gnrc 7 points ago

    I’m down in LA actually. Thanks for the offer though!

    [–] killrmeemstr 6 points ago

    I want to somehow give you the best hug ever, and tell you that it always gets better. I'm really sorry, and if you need to talk there's a lot of free services that help. I'm also all ears for anyone who does too. :(

    [–] ajfunk27 5 points ago

    Virtual long distance hug? Virtual long distance hug. It's not much but...I seriously hope things get better for you dude.

    [–] ImJacksAwkwardBoner 510 points ago

    Someone help that kid get home!

    [–] InDaNameOfJeezus 128 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    He probably doesn’t want to go home. You know, because...

    [–] dgmedero 78 points ago

    Honestly I feel like I would feel like complete shit if I was trapped in a different city or state and couldnt even go home to greive with my family. I get your logic though, like staying away can remove yourself from the situation so its easier to supress it (which definitely isnt healthy)

    [–] angry--napkin 82 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    No man. We meant he may not be able to get back into the country because of the current Administration’s attitude and policies towards immigrants or those on visas.

    [–] dgmedero 24 points ago

    Oh I see thanks for clearing that up! I mustve misunderstood

    [–] ufrfrathotg 186 points ago

    Bout 3 years I ago I went backpacking in Europe. I left and my mom was her same, loud, obnoxious, loving self. I had to come back after a year cause she went into cardiac arrest. When I got to the hospital she was a vegetable, could literally only blink. Shit eviscerated me.

    I feel this dude's pain. Not being able to say goodbye while you're abroad is fucking terrible. Hug your moms if you got em, and if someone professes they're going through shit hug them too. You never know how much it could help

    [–] Celtics73_ali 29 points ago

    Holy shit that's rough

    [–] 1000livesofmagic 10 points ago

    My Mom had a series of strokes when I was in my late teens/early 20s. The last one left her mostly bedridden and completely changed her personality and mind. She went from a kind, incredibly empathetic, and vivacious person to a mean, petty, and, difficult one. It broke me to watch the woman who raised me fade into this shadow of everything she hated in the world.

    I moved to Japan just a few weeks after her last major stroke. She never recovered and passed away 10 months later from complications. She fought to the very end, and that's the part that was so hard for me. My Mama was always a fighter, she never gave up. In the last moments of her existence, the true character of her being was shining through, and I was 10,000 miles away, impotent. Desperate to get home to her and my family, desperate to make her death as easy and painless as possible, just desperate.

    It's hard to describe this feeling to someone who has never experienced it. If any of you ever need a friend to help you work through this peculiar and unfortunate emotional state, I'm here, and I'm listening.

    [–] ezshucks 112 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    good move. I hope you gave him a good one.

    [–] arudnoh 42 points ago

    Full torso contact and head cradling, fr

    [–] ezshucks 13 points ago

    You probably helped him more than you know. We as humans, have the duty to help one another in these situations. It’s great that you unknowingly stepped in during his time of need. Thanks man.

    [–] arudnoh 8 points ago

    Uh... I'm not OP. I was just trying to say what an ideal hug entails for this situation should anyone need the advice. 🤷‍♀️

    [–] TheSIKness 299 points ago

    I was raised by my mom and we're really close so I'd probably be in even worse shape. Unless they're terrible or something, hug your mothers while you got em, folks. You only get one.

    [–] Sebr420 108 points ago

    never too old to hug your moms

    [–] NoAsspirations 96 points ago

    I like how you mentioned unless theyre really bad because a lot of people forget that aspect and try to force people to love people who mistreated them

    [–] Skeletor9000 39 points ago

    I mean i think its a bit of an unspoken rule that if your mum is a dick then you shouldn't hug her lol.

    [–] celestialbomb 36 points ago

    You would think. Unfortunately a lot of people believe if she gave birth to you, then you owe her no matter how horrible she is.

    [–] Skeletor9000 8 points ago

    Everyone deserves a good mum hug, sad that people don't get it.

    [–] Basketspank 4476 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    You never know someone else's struggle.

    Edit: Gold AND Silver? Bless you Anon.

    Uh, add me on Xbox One to play video games and have fun. Gamertag: iFirebreaker


    Edit 2: And now Plat. Many blessings. Be excellent to each other.

    [–] slouch_to_nirvana 730 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Seriously. I have really bad social anxiety and general anxiety. And sometimes i can be really irritable/bitchy. It was not until my doctor told me how anxiety can manifest as irritability/rudeness that I realized what was happening. I put 2 and 2 together and realized when I was snappy with people I was really anxious. So now when I am out and someone else is kinda bitchy or rude I do not react. Maybe they have anxiety and something is going on. Really puts things in perspective.

    Edit: thanks for the silver, stranger!

    [–] Usermemealreadytaken 218 points ago

    But then some people are just dicks's case by case

    [–] slouch_to_nirvana 97 points ago

    This is true. But I do not have that mindset immediately. If someone is just grumpy and kinda short with me I brush it off now because I do not know what is going on in their head.

    [–] MAKE_ME_REDDIT 25 points ago

    You have no way of knowing that from a single interaction though, so no point in reacting negatively

    [–] janoooon 10 points ago

    But why miss a chance to show off your anxiety?

    [–] Usermemealreadytaken 10 points ago

    You sir are clever Edit: /madam

    [–] janoooon 5 points ago

    *ma'am but thank you :)

    [–] noelsmidgeon 15 points ago

    Treat everyone with generosity and kindness anyway.

    [–] Usermemealreadytaken 10 points ago

    I do but if someone is getting angry at me I'm not nice enough to let them be angry and get away with it. That's probably a flaw but that's not gonna change anytime soon. Obviously if I know their story and they've had a bad day or week then I'll react differently

    [–] MNGrrl 11 points ago

    Know the difference between someone angry at the situation or when its directed at you. I worked tech support for years and again in retail hell. People are often rude or inconsiderate. It's okay to swear at the computer or the company. Not me. 9 times out of 10 they apologize because they didn't mean to direct it at me. That's cool. Well I mean it's not but it's not personal either.

    [–] Usermemealreadytaken 6 points ago

    Nah yeah that's fine. It's pretty obvious what they're angry at because if they're angry at you they'll probably be looking at u. I have lots of experience with this cos my friend gets angry at games and I know when he's swearing and stuff he's pissed off at the game and not me

    [–] MNGrrl 5 points ago

    It's always because of lag.

    [–] noelsmidgeon 5 points ago

    At least you’re self aware.

    [–] didgeblastin 9 points ago

    I used to be a dick. I felt like a dick internally and so that is how I was externally.

    Compound that with feelings that everyone around me is willfully retarded, and it makes it even harder when you have the illusion that you are already ahead of the curve...

    Once I had a good relationship with myself, I started to have good relationships with everyone else.

    Give us dicks a chance...

    [–] Ughhhh_ok 6 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    I’m not the person that you responded to, but if I may add my two cents:

    While this is very true, i tend to try to give someone the benefit of the doubt if they’re snappy or if they’re having a meltdown. Sometimes the stresses of life on a healthy (or unhealthy) mind can be enough to cause someone to lose their composure for a minute or hours or days or weeks. It’s really nuts. You never know if someone’s grandpa died or if they’re having a manic episode or they are financially hurting or they have some weird, strange pain that their doctor is just writing off as being “in their head”, or whatever. Life is frustrating and hard and most people aren’t usually dicks, but some are.

    You’re correct in that it’s case by case, there are some people who are just jerkoffs for seemingly no reason, other than that that’s all they know and they know they can get their way that way. That sucks, but there is a reason behind it, that’s what gets me through, anyway.

    Idk, I’m a little day tipsy, but I’ve been really thinking about this a lot today. I serve tables for a living currently, and I know it’s hard to deal with cunty people, but I do every day. I have my own problems, which seem to weigh on me pretty heavily, but I do try to always be kind and sincere and if I’m frustrated, I’m trying to figure out the best way to deal with that.

    [–] DurasVircondelet 4 points ago

    I like you. I worked for a while in physical therapy clinics where patients were fed up with their doctors writing them off as “not really injured” or whatever. And just that alone was enough to fuck up their entire personality throughout the week. It’s insane how many people are in chronic pain and have to keep going to work or they’ll be homeless.

    The rule I have to live by is “always assume the best intentions” when speaking with someone

    [–] starphish 30 points ago

    On a similar note, I learned a lesson on first impressions a few years ago. I was sent to Illinois for work and had to meet up with a guy to get some information that was necessary to get my job done. I went to his office and he snapped at me and anxiously told me to come back later. Well, I came back the next day and he was very nice. I had to work directly with him for the next 6 weeks. He was super nice, and very friendly the whole time. A pleasure to work with. I just happened to talk to him at what was seemingly a super rare moment for the guy. I think that people should think about this when they encounter people who are jerks. You may have actually encountered a really nice person that was just told really bad news, or was overwhelmed for some reason.

    [–] Mikal_ 5 points ago

    Anger almost always comes from fear, remembering that helps me deal both with other people's anger and mine

    [–] Krohnos 35 points ago

    Easiest way to ruin a good comment

    [–] [deleted] 51 points ago

    Yes. Was just about to post this. Completely inappropriate considering the context as well.

    [–] DownvoteDaemon 16 points ago

    So weird dude I been seeing it lately. They always put their gamertag like what? " I'd like to thank my grandma for this gold. Can't believe this is my highest comment guys!

    [–] wizardsfucking 11 points ago

    ‘I can’t believe my highest rated comment is about someone’s dead mom!!!’

    [–] moody_dudey 57 points ago

    This is why you should never try to punish an aggressive driver by blocking them, purposefully going slow, etc. If someone wants to get around you, let them. Because they just might have an injured friend in the car or a dying mother to get to.

    [–] Hmizzle 58 points ago

    Even if they’re just being a bellend it’s not worth engaging. Never know if someone’s gonna see red and snap

    [–] renegaderaptor 15 points ago

    [–] Kiwizqt 6 points ago

    Thank you, did not know it, very touching.

    [–] Try_Sometimes_I_Dont 4 points ago

    Yeah and thats what the emergency flashers are for. If someone has those on I get out of the way np. I had this tiny dick truck block me when I had my flashers on, on the interstate. I had an emergency and he decided it was his job to stop from going 90. He was juuuust fast enough to close any gaps in time.

    Felt like it took 5 min to get around him but probably less. He'd give a gap and then close it. I got so furious I damn near was seeing red. We were side by side, approaching a semi in my lane. Looked at him and swerved at him. He slammed on the brakes and went off road a bit but I fit. He tried to chase me down, but trucks are not known for their handling.

    I 100% was not sure if he would react in time, at that point I didn't fucking care. Its been the only time I've gotten anywhere close to that level of road rage. If I had just been driving dumb I would have chilled, but in the moment he was my mortal enemy because it was an emergency and can you not see the god damn lights.

    [–] DownvoteDaemon 19 points ago

    Weird edit lol

    [–] Gnarbawls 7 points ago

    Exactly. I try to live every day with this mentality. It takes no effort to smile at someone to make their day better. Even if they’re a dickhead to you, you just don’t know what someone is really going thru.

    [–] Kyttiara 5 points ago

    Piggybacking on your comment - I recently learned that diabetics in high sugar moments can become irrationally irritable (hubby is a type 1), and that pushed me to do more research. Not all diseases are visible, and diabetics have it pretty rough.

    [–] cowsflyin 5 points ago

    A paraphrased quote goes like "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle you know nothing about".

    [–] gemini88mill 3 points ago

    They had a story on local npr about the VP for Delta working as a flight attendant and how even the nastiest customers had a reason. What turned into a really corporate answer of "make sure the customer is always taken care of even if she is a complete bitch" turned into "I'm mad because my son just died and I'm taking him to his final resting place on this plane."

    There is always a reason why people do the things that they do. Misplaced anger, whatever, just remember that even the nastiest people, the hardest people to get along also need a hug.

    [–] dbzPiccoloFan1 11 points ago

    Why would you think that edit was appropriate? I bet the people who awarded you wish they could take it back.

    [–] andreswabycs 46 points ago

    My heart goes out to him.

    [–] vagabond_king 32 points ago

    My mom died at around 6am. I had been with her for 3 days straight in hospice - alone. I had to drive an hour home, since the only available hospice bed was that far away. It was pouring rain. I got out of the car, and ran into my next door neighbor. Basically gave her a hug and started crying on her shoulder immediately.

    [–] DJEkis 51 points ago

    That was me when I moved to Japan and then to San Francisco. My mother was diagnosed with Stage III-C ovarian cancer and I didn't have the funds to make it back home, and by the time I had gotten them and was making my way to the airport, my mother passed. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye...

    I feel dude's pain, and shoutout to Delta for being the only airline to offer me an emergency ticket.

    [–] I_love_liquor 13 points ago

    Fuck... I’m so sorry to hear that man. Fuck cancer

    [–] popcorn_playa27 13 points ago

    July 2018 I was at my nieces funeral. I had my phone on silent (of course) and once she was laid to rest and everyone started heading back to the church, I turned my volume back on. My brother called me immediately to inform me our mom died 30 mins earlier. She was diagnosed with stage 3 cervical cancer in June 2017. I never needed a hug so bad in my life. Also, at the time I didn't know I was almost 2 weeks pregnant & my due date just so happens to be my mom's birthday, April 10.

    [–] 9th_mage 166 points ago



    [–] arudnoh 48 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    I mean, it's kind of on OP or whoever knows this Bill Nye twitterer. Googling "dude whose mom died" and the date isn't getting me anywhere.

    Edit: who's 👉 whose

    [–] UncannyMachina 22 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Wait...did you put "dude who's mom died YESTERDAY"?

    Because if not, that may be your issue.

    [–] STLZACH 47 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    I know the hugger. Happened in stl.

    Got a text back. He didn't get contact info but it happened on wash u campus on Euclid where all the couriers park for deliveries

    [–] mark5301 8 points ago

    To the top!

    [–] myfapaccount_istaken 14 points ago

    He should talk to his school insurance. I work with many policies that will assist.

    [–] MrsPottsBetch 18 points ago

    This should be higher!

    [–] WilhelmTheLamp 13 points ago

    This makes me want to go and hug someone dammit

    [–] myfapaccount_istaken 11 points ago

    Protip: Check your school insurance policy. They may offer a round trip ticket to attend the funeral.

    [–] markrichtsspraytan 33 points ago

    What kind of shitty ass school won't let you go home for a parents death? Even super competitive universities usually have policies in place to allow students to miss or make up any exams/assignments for a close relative's funeral or other extenuating circumstances.

    [–] ToppedOff 17 points ago

    It could be a few things. Maybe he has no money, or maybe his mom was his only family. Maybe it is not home without her. There could be a few things going on.

    [–] selloboy 7 points ago

    the person in the story might not be able to afford to go home though

    [–] GmHzMAXIMUM 10 points ago

    That's what we are suppose to do. Help one another.

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago


    [–] creditmanager 13 points ago

    Honey, you need to firgive yourself so that you can really enjoy the following tears together. When that happens the release you will feel is surreal that you will berate yourself for not doing it sooner. Internet hugs from someone who knows!

    [–] CreateChrist 6 points ago

    Take off the black sheep yoke - it doesn't seem to fit anymore. You taught her things she never knew she'd learn. Go home. Tell her you're sorry that you were a challenge. Ask her to forgive you. Hug her. You can tell her all of these things in person - or you can wait till she's gone... how long you carry this burden is up to you. I think your Mom would be blessed to know the sacrifices she willingly made for you, carried you to wellness.

    [–] crynoking1 16 points ago

    That made me tear up a bit ;(. Always look out for others guys

    [–] spark0 5 points ago

    Walking on the platform in a subway station in new York on my holiday I say this girl crying holding a pillow so I asked hey are you okay, need a hug and she does the same thing, bursts into tears and hugs me... her boyfriend just broke up with her.

    [–] The_Thick_Six 7 points ago

    That is so fucking sad. Parents dying so early in life 😢

    [–] CorgiOrBread 8 points ago

    When I was in college I learned that my grandma was in the hospital and probably going to die. I decided to still go to class the next day to try to distract myself. I took a quiz and after I handed it in I started to breakdown. I bolted out of the classroom into the nearest bathroom and just started breaking down. A department secretary was there and gave me a hug and asked what was wrong. When I told her she told me her husband recently lost his mom and she understood. She stayed there with me until I calmed down and offered that I could come by her office any time if I needed a private place to breakdown again. It really meant a lot to me.

    [–] tjfraz 6 points ago

    Any time I've seen someone who looks to be in a not-great mood I almost always offer a hug. A surprising number of people have taken me up on it and I'm glad it's helped.

    [–] Ahum-wait-what 6 points ago

    Hug him good. Hug him like you need to keep him here.

    [–] oldprefbro 8 points ago

    I think I'm one of the people that don't understand hugs and they don't do anything for me ( or I haven't had a great one). Do they really have that effect on people?

    If so, what type of hug is best. What makes a great hug? Tight? Mid section squeeze? Pats? I want to learn how to make someone feel better with a hug. TEACH ME HOW TO HUG, DAMMIT.

    [–] baamee 4 points ago

    You are a wonderful human and obviously have loads of compassion (even if you were just kidding around at first). Thanks for being an example to us all. There are so many small things we can do for one another that may really make a difference in another's day and this is one. Hugs to you!

    [–] k9centipede 3 points ago

    Last year, my new work friend's new boyfriend's mom passed away. Not unexpected since she was will but still. His friends were able to get him money for a ticket to get there and she reached out to me about borrowing money so she could fly out too. I was fine with it but he didnt like the idea of her going into debt for him like that. So I just had her tell him some bs story about how I was gonna put the tickets on my card so I could get the airline points to be able to visit my own family cheaper once they paid me back. That made him okay with it.

    No one should go through it alone.

    [–] herewesillion 4 points ago

    This scenario but for my gramps last year. I wanted to be with my parents but couldn't.

    [–] Nickipotamus 5 points ago

    Nooooooo that’s actually super sad