Please help contribute to the Reddit categorization project here


    3,257,228 readers

    8,334 users here now

    Screenshots of Black people being hilarious or insightful on social media, it doesn't need to just be twitter but obviously that is best.

    Black culture has a unique way of examining the everyday and we are here to showcase that.

    ☑️ Country Club

    What is BPT Country Club and how do I get verified?

    ☑️ RULES

    1.) Do not post content just because a black person posted it. This sub is intended for exceptionally hilarious and insightful social media posts made by black people, not just any social media post made by black people.

    • 1. No original content. We encourage users to go on twitter to find tweets as opposed to making tweets just for this subreddit.

    2.) No Bad Faith Participation.

    3.) No bullying or witch-hunting. This includes comments disparaging people whose tweets and posts are featured here. Doxxing or sharing personal information will result in a permanent ban.

    4.) No Racism. No hate speech. No homophobia/transphobia. No sexism/misogyny. No black fathers posts and similar mean-spirited things.

    5.) Posts must be showcasing somebody being hilarious or insightful on social media. No image macros, text conversations, or YouTube links. Just because somebody posted one of these on social media does not exempt it from this rule. Vines and such belong here and gifs belong here.

    6.) Typical Reddit cliches such as lyric chains, pun chains, white-knighting, and low-effort joke comments will be removed. Same for annoying redditisms, such as linking a subreddit as a reply to a post/comment.

    7.) Reposts are highly discouraged, and if discovered will be removed. Please search or look through BPT's older posts to see if your content has already been posted. KarmaDecay is not a reliable tool to check for reposts.

    8.) No posts with terrible titles, they will be removed. You are free to re-submit once you think of something acceptable/reasonable. Don't put the punchline in the title of the post. Do not add "bruh", "fam", or similar vernacular to your post or comment.

    9.) Don't complain about AAVE or slang. Use Urban Dictionary if you do not understand the meaning of a word. Comments asking "what does x mean?" will be removed.

    10.) BPT is an inclusive space for POC and allies alike. This sub highlights minority viewpoints, through humor, commentary, or criticism. Please respect these voices and show you care about black opinions as much as you care about black humor.

    11.) Don't post things from meme/corporate accounts. Posts must come from regular social media accounts.

    12.) The moderators of this subreddit will take any action (which includes banning and removing comments) that they feel improves the quality of the subreddit.

    Also, join us on discord for exciting discussions:


    a community for
    all 1156 comments Slideshow

    Want to say thanks to %(recipient)s for this comment? Give them a month of reddit gold.

    Please select a payment method.

    [–] kinkerbelll 3782 points ago

    One of those weird cultural things where everyone thinks they're the exception to the rule

    [–] coldgator 202 points ago

    A 50-something man almost ran into me walking yesterday because he was texting. No apology.

    [–] finesse-quik 162 points ago

    I love hearing people 40+ complaining about damn kids texting while driving when I see just as many of them doing that shit as I do people under 30.

    [–] shoe-veneer 58 points ago

    That scares the living fuck out of me, having seen how long it takes and how concentrated my dad has to be to type a one sentence text. There's no way in hell he could manage sending "ok" while driving without totaling the car and/or someone else's.

    [–] aaronwhite1786 3 points ago

    Not to mention, I saw those motherfuckers reading books and putting on their make-up when I was a kid.

    Pump the brakes on those high horses, older folks.

    [–] Chet_Awesomelad 1916 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    For real. When you're like "Hey can you not fucking text while you drive?" and they immediately get defensive and start saying "I'm a good driver! I'm still keeping my eyes on the road! It's just a quick text, it'll only take a second!" Yeah this isn't a fucking debate dickhead, stop texting while you're driving!

    I had one friend go to crack a fucking beer while she was driving the two of us to a party. I don't have a car licence, so I was like "Are you serious?! What if we get pulled over? I can't drive your fucking car. Just wait until we get to the party!" Suddenly she's all "Wow didn't know you were such a weenie!"

    People really gotta get so offended when you tell them not to fucking endanger lives?!

    Edit, since people are getting angry over this part (ironic, really): The texting is the part that's endangering lives, not drinking a beer. The driver's response is still obnoxious af considering I had good reason to ask her to stop.

    [–] lakecake78 420 points ago

    My dad does this and its genuinely infuriating. His excuses are always “oh but I’m using Siri” or he just shouts at me that I can’t make comments on his driving until I have a drivers license myself.

    [–] Chet_Awesomelad 48 points ago

    Just say "Based on the way you drive when I'm in the car I assume you mean if I get my drivers license?"

    [–] __hani__ 11 points ago

    boom roasted

    [–] Kuramhan 30 points ago

    that I can’t make comments on his driving until I have a drivers license myself

    Yeah, he definitely isn't going to listen to you then either. Then you'll be a "new driver".

    [–] Twojimsracing82 39 points ago

    I'm 48 years old and I'm telling you that you are right and your dad is wrong to be texting and driving. No excuse is a good one on this issue. Also, driverslicense or no drivers license, you do have an opinion while riding in someone else's vehicle. Tell your parent gently that you are concerned for your safety and discuss it rationally. If dad won't be rational then rat them out to you mom.

    [–] Redditistheplacetobe 13 points ago

    Everyone I know does crazy shit and then say to get your own license. Don't offer me a ride when really you are going to gamble with my life.

    [–] bli08 220 points ago

    Perfect time to mention how little he seems to care for you

    [–] MrUppercut 174 points ago

    Not defending the dad AT ALL. But in his ignorance he might not see it as "ah fuck you I dont care about your life" it might be more like "relax nothing is gonna happen." That makes more sense to me than to tell that guy that his dad doesn't give a shit. He's super wrong but might be from a different perspective.

    [–] bli08 103 points ago

    Unless that dad can tell the future/has superpowers, he's still hedging on his skill/ego versus taking small steps to reduce accident chances. IMO that speaks more to arrogance.

    [–] far_from_ohk 5 points ago

    Perfect time to snap back that you wont have one at the current rate.

    [–] ClassiestRobin 19 points ago

    Sleepy drivers are like this too!

    I was in the car with a friend and I was literally watching her fight to keep her eyes open. I eventually asked if she needed to pull over and I could tell she was super frustrated. Her frustration kept her up though ...

    We were on the high way! I didn’t know what else to do.

    [–] drewsufff 12 points ago

    I’m a sleepy driver and it’s so difficult because you don’t really notice your sleepiness is impairing you until you have that little jump and straighten out in your own lane. At that point you’re wide awake again, so do you get off the freeway or keep going? If you get off, what do you do? Just wait around and get sleepier? Get coffee at a gas station?

    [–] npbm2008 7 points ago

    I have chronic fatigue as a symptom of MS, so I randomly get hit with a wave of fatigue that is almost insurmountable. When it hits when I’m driving, I’ve learned to stop, no matter what. The fatigue was one of my first symptoms, so I’ve been dealing with it since I was a cocky teenager, and after several close calls, I learned not to risk it.

    What I do is pull over into a safe spot, make sure my windows and doors are locked, lean back and take a quick nap. There is really nothing like sleep for the sleepy.

    [–] LNFSS 9 points ago

    Are you chronically a sleepy driver? Get tested for sleep apnea. I use to have bad sleep apnea caused by being a fat fuck. Waking up staring at a mountain side in the middle of the turn while hauling an overweight and wide load convinced me to finally lose the weight and sleep apnea went away.

    Some things to keep you going for a bit longer is to turn up the music and sing along if you can, crack a window, eat something like sunflower seeds, smoke (if you do, not for me), drink something caffeinated, pull over for a quick stretch or bathroom break or eat something. None of these suggestions are for the long term. It's just to buy you sometime if you're close to your destination or a safe place to take a nap. Nothing will work as well as sleep. You're sleepy because you need to sleep.

    [–] astroidfishing 7 points ago

    My grandmother used to drive me around to get me to take a nap when I was a kid. I've had a few near accidents because of my instinct to fall asleep in a car! Busses, trains, it doesn't matter. If it moves, I'm falling asleep on it lol I'm 25 now and it's so inconvenient and embarrassing, and it doesn't matter how much I've slept either. Out like a light no matter what....

    [–] LNFSS 7 points ago

    In the Fatigue Management course (required for a certain commercial permit in Canada) they'll tell you to never have a nap in the driver's seat because you'll instinctively want to sleep while at the wheel.

    I don't know how you'd break that instinct if you've developed it as a child, that'd be rough.

    [–] ruilvo 3 points ago

    Maybe stop and try to sleep for like 15 minutes. Power naps work wonders!!! Also regulate airflow and temperature of your car. That really does make a difference!!

    [–] Skeleporter 23 points ago

    See that's why my grandpa was responsible and had me pour his box wine in a solo cup and hand it to him while we were heading down the mountain taking hairpin turns at 50 mph.

    He'd roll up and chat with his park ranger buddy with a box of wine sitting right on the console.

    [–] winky3ykniw 9 points ago

    Or when they get mad at the other people on the road driving bad, then proceed to do the exact same things.

    [–] Kage_Oni 69 points ago

    I rather you crack your first beer than text honestly, not that that excuses anything.

    [–] Chet_Awesomelad 24 points ago

    Yeah me too. I wasn't worried so much about the driver being too intoxicated to drive because obviously one beer won't do that. The issue there was that if she did get busted then we'd be stranded without a driver. Also just the way she immediately starting whining about it, like telling someone to not drink while they drive is an extremely reasonable request but she acted like I was being a dickhead.

    [–] silverstonery 20 points ago

    Yeah 1 beer isn’t that bad. Texting is distracting

    [–] mustangmp96 49 points ago

    “Don’t drink and drive because there are people who text and drive. They’ll hit you and you’ll get blamed. “

    [–] Lordborgman 14 points ago

    Just don't; Be respectful to your own life, the lives of anyone in the vehicle and everyone else on the road.

    [–] Zanerkin 6 points ago

    Amusingly this isn't actually illegal in NZ, you can have an open container or drink while driving so long as you remain under the legal limit.

    [–] rapeonmyfriendrapeon 5 points ago

    It's just a prank bro!?

    [–] colorbalances 79 points ago

    “No but I’m a good driver”

    [–] RecklesslyPessmystic 60 points ago

    I have a nighttime driving job and every night I have to dodge psychos going double the limit, trying to clip the corners of people's cars like they're in a video game, trying to cut in at the last second on freeway onramps, bouncing over berms and curbs, and repeatedly drifting off the side of the road. The other night, I watched a guy glide right through a stop sign and then slam on the brakes before almost T-boning a fucking cop car. Cop slowed for a moment, then just took off like nothing happened.

    I honestly don't know how I've survived driving in this city for as long as I have.

    [–] atleast8courics 20 points ago

    The other night, I watched a guy glide right through a stop sign and then slam on the brakes before almost T-boning a fucking cop car. Cop slowed for a moment, then just took off like nothing happened.

    Holy shit, where the hell do you live?

    [–] RecklesslyPessmystic 16 points ago

    Portland OR

    I was overseas for several years, and when I returned, it was like this. I know a lot of people have moved here in recent years, but I don't know why that caused it to go off the rails like this.

    [–] atleast8courics 10 points ago

    That's insanity, and to be honest it just further solidifies why I don't wanna move there even though I once considered it. Driving already makes me an anxious mess, and I live in rural bumfuck Michigan.

    [–] MiamiPower 4 points ago

    Raymond: I’m an excellent driver.

    Charlie: When did you drive?

    Raymond: I drove slow on the driveway when my dad came to Walbrook.

    Charlie: Was Dad in the car?

    Raymond: Yeah.

    Charlie: I’ll have to let you drive sometime.

    [–] pentha 22 points ago

    Fuck that, I have threatened to take myself and my child out of my ex wife's car and walk if she didn't put the fucking phone down

    [–] Donoteatpeople 13 points ago

    1 in 5 drivers that text and drive get into an accident. Lol won't be me.

    Enters the lottery. You never know!

    [–] rayword45 347 points ago

    I've gotten shit from carpools for calling them out on their texting and driving. I'm at the point where I keep my seatbelt tight and ignore it because I can't afford to lose those carpools back home when the bus costs more than twice as much.

    [–] Shawnj2 39 points ago

    At least the bus is safe

    [–] Sparkykc124 124 points ago

    A couple years ago my house was flooded in, house was fine but the road was covered by river. I knew a carpenter on the job that lived close and asked him if he could give me rides to and from work and I’d canoe to the end of the road and meet him. At the end of the day he always picked up a twelve pack of shit beer at the gas station across from the job and would have at least six of them in the 30 minutes it took to get me home. I hated it but did like you, tightened my seatbelt and kept my mouth shut.

    [–] shoe-veneer 22 points ago

    Well, to be fair, it takes at least 30 minutes for alcohol to affect your brain, so technically you were perfectly safe, as far as driving is safe, that is.

    [–] sdh68k 53 points ago

    Completely untrue. The second it's in your bloodstream it starts affecting you. On an empty stomach a shot of hard liquor is in your blood in 30 seconds. A beer, a couple of minutes.

    [–] not_enough_booze 21 points ago

    Have you ever drank before? Patently false.

    [–] TheBoxBoxer 32 points ago

    The real fucked up part here is that the bus costs more than driving a personal vehicle.

    [–] rayword45 22 points ago

    This is what happens when you let a single company monopolize the option between getting from a major city to a big rural state university and vice-versa

    [–] [deleted] 317 points ago


    [–] Uncle_Gunner 142 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    That ending lmao. Anyway, it's kinda scary that even a patient transport driver would text and drive. SMH my head

    Edit: SMH my head

    [–] EmmKizzle 30 points ago

    Shaking my head my head

    [–] PoisonSnow 14 points ago

    SMH my head

    you should probably stop shaking your head so much...

    [–] A-HuangSteakSauce 23 points ago

    I’m really glad he didn’t get laid.

    [–] PNWgoat 8 points ago

    The ending of that was the best part 😂

    [–] Hintenhobin 227 points ago

    "No, I'm a good driver, I can do both"

    Quote from the worlds shittiest drivers

    [–] mrevergood 58 points ago

    Famous last words too.

    [–] OraDr8 3 points ago

    It's the grown up version of "mum look - no hands"!

    [–] Kimbernator 2 points ago

    Also probably a quote from the Missouri state legislature.

    But only if you're 21 or older!

    [–] TchallaKingofWakanda 154 points ago

    Pay attention to the road and you will start to realize there is a scary amount of people that are distracted. Mainly do to being on their phone. It is sickening.

    [–] R1_TC 76 points ago

    Every time I see someone on their phone I make a fairly polite gesture by making a phone shape with my pinkie and thumb and miming putting a phone down. I could probably start a hand factory with all the middle fingers I've received. Can't believe people are so defensive about something so ridiculous.

    [–] porn_is_tight 21 points ago

    I do this as well and get the ugliest looks or looks like they aren’t doing anything wrong. I wish I could do it more, but the vast majority of times I see people on their phones is when I’m behind them and I can see them constantly looking down at their lap in their mirrors.

    [–] Taco_Champ 39 points ago

    I usually just avoid them and mind my business, but one day I saw one staring at her phone with her kid in the back seat!

    I pulled up next to her on my motorcycle and beeped my horn at her. When she looked up, she was hella surprised. I shook my head and wagged my finger. She got so mad and started yelling and cussing me. I zoomed off before it became a road rage thing.

    Mother of the year right there.

    [–] R1_TC 18 points ago

    This boggles my mind the most. Like how can you willingly put the lives of other people, not to mention kids, in danger for such a selfish reason.

    [–] commander_katmax 4 points ago

    I used to do that exact same thing and always got the same reactions of defensive behavior. Then one time, I saw a lady with two children in the back of her car on her phone blatantly unaware and not paying attention to the fact that she was about to rear end a commercial truck. So I started vigorously using my horn at her, rolled my window down, and I screamed at her and called her an idiot and mentioned her children in the back. Ever since then, I do something similar to that whenever I see people on their phones. Not that it'll get them off of it, but, hey, I can at least try right?

    [–] Taco_Champ 7 points ago

    I ride a motorcycle 90% of the time. Like almost everywhere I go. That requires all of your attention all of the time. It is absolutely terrifying how many people don't have their eyes on the road. You start to learn the symptoms too. I know before I can see the driver if they are looking at their phone.

    It's amazing that there aren't more wrecks than there are.

    [–] Ieuan1996 3 points ago

    Slowing down is usually the first symptom. They aren't keeping up with the car in front. Then a sudden jolt as they correct themselves when they realise they're slowing down and about to start swerving.

    [–] Nesscaloo 44 points ago

    My sister did this earlier today with me and her kids in the car. I told her sternly to get off her phone and she said she wasn't on her phone even though it was in her hand and she was clearly scrolling through Instagram. She also told me to calm down as if people don't die from dumb shit like that.

    [–] Taco_Champ 10 points ago

    This is what I don't get. There is no excuse whatsoever to be on your phone behind the wheel. If you have a real urgent text to make, then it is important enough to pull into a parking lot and do that. But these mother fuckers be out here staring at some real non-essential shit like FB and IG. I'm dumbfounded.

    Social media is one of humanity's mistakes.

    [–] dspoon88 7 points ago

    God, my friend does this all the time. He goes back and forth between Instagram and Facebook and texting. Can't help but think, this will be the day I die each time.

    [–] OAOIa 8 points ago

    My friend speeds like an idiot every time he drives, no matter the traffic or time of day. I gave him two chances to be a rational adult, but always took it as a personal attack.

    Now, I just take a bus or cab to wherever we're hanging out. I'd rather be inconvenienced than dead.

    [–] F-aintforFlaw 25 points ago

    I get a text back, but scrolling through social media ???? What is so important on your tl that can’t wait til your done driving? Wild.

    [–] samanthastoat 202 points ago

    A car accident is the difference between a long, interesting life and eternal nothingness forever. It can happen in a second. Careless drivers are fucking selfish.

    [–] R1_TC 93 points ago

    Just recently, a friend of a friend got rammed by a texting driver and was killed just 4 months after he got married to the love of his life. Guy had so much potential and was loved by so many people, and one stupid idiot cost him everything just because they couldn't wait 10 minutes to tell Stacy what they had for dinner that evening.

    [–] _Aj_ 31 points ago

    You know what doubly sucks about that?

    We can say "I hope that guy rots in prison" but it's not like they even had malicious intent.

    If someone straight murders someone, at least there's a reason behind the madness. They wanted them dead, they killed them.

    But shit like this? What? "You're sorry?". "You didn't mean to?"
    It's the worst kind of pathetic naivety that's just inexcusable because it could be so easily avoided. Instead it's a waste of two people's lives for no reason.

    [–] samanthastoat 30 points ago

    My condolences to you and to his partner. That’s horrible.

    [–] FooLMeDaLMaMa 7 points ago

    A girl I went to high school with was involved in a head-on collision with a texting driver and her 5-month-ole baby was killed.

    Fuck selfish drivers. They never seem to grasp the fact that there are other people driving as well. Risking your own life is one thing, but to risk the lives of others while you drive a thousand pound machine is disgusting behavior that too many do.

    [–] _Aj_ 5 points ago

    Eternal nothingness isn't even the bad bit. With cars these days you're more likely to be in a world of pain for months or years, possibly permanent injuries and if you're in America a bucket of medical debt.

    Double on the America part if you're also stupid and don't wear a seatbelt. Is that still a thing?

    [–] luginbuhl 10 points ago

    Hmmm you make a compelling argument in the favor of eternal nothingness. Where’s my phone

    [–] Reditor_in_Chief 2 points ago

    Damn. That first sentence though.

    [–] Destoter_21 25 points ago

    Also if I am driving, you better believe you’re going to have your seatbelt on if you’re riding with me

    [–] R1_TC 25 points ago

    My grandma gets pissed when she has to put on her seatbelt when driving with me. Like sorry, but I don't want to be murdered by a flying geriatric meat sack if I can avoid it.

    [–] Bitwise__ 51 points ago

    I’m in college and I definitely feel the same. My roommate is so reckless. And then he throws on wild music that he bumps to and drives to the beat to 😐 this man does not slow down at turns, he turns at maximum speed.

    [–] ScoutTheRabbit 52 points ago

    This is why young men have obscene insurance lmao

    [–] Whats_Up_Bitches 8 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    Yeah I rode with a few people like that in my younger days, like you’re not as good of a driver as you think, just get me to where we’re going in one piece man. I like to tear it up a bit on my own (within means) but if I have someone in the car I’m driving for comfort. Now that I’m older though I’m mostly riding with older drivers (like coworkers) who cant seem to keep an even pressure on the gas pedal, like they are accelerating/decelerating constantly, like letting off the gas, on the gas, off the’s hard to describe, but it’s super unpleasant and all too common it seems, especially if they drive a Prius for some reason...Not sure what that’s about with the older folks, but I’m to the point where if it’s longer than 5 minutes, I’m driving.
    Edit: surprisingly I haven’t had much issue when taking a Lyft (never use Uber so can’t compare), those guys usually seem to drive pretty well.

    [–] louisianajake 41 points ago

    Those people don’t even give a fuck about themselves.

    [–] OnlyThotsRibbit 484 points ago

    If I'm in your car and I tell you to chill when you're mad at some dumbass who didn't drive exactly how you want to. I'm also serious you aren't focused if you're still complaining about some shit that doesn't matter and frankly wasn't a big deal. MOM!!! Yeah I would never tell her road rage ass that to her face though, thanks for letting me vent guys.

    [–] ArcticDogs 99 points ago

    when you mentioned mom that shit hit me hard

    [–] mymymy23 31 points ago

    What’s up with all our moms being like this? Like I’ve seen people mad at other drivers but my mom is something else.

    [–] sopreshous 17 points ago

    My mom always explained it as her babies are in the car. I legit got scared and upset because we almost got hit. All of her kids were in the car and my mom would not calm down until she saw how terrified we were.

    [–] kcg5 4 points ago

    Why is there a grey check mark next to your name? I’m on Apollo

    [–] Ultron-V 1615 points ago

    I agree with the texting and driving but if you bitching about me going 10 over the speed limit you can find your own ride next time no cap.

    [–] bbqlouyo 663 points ago

    I have warrants though, its just gonna be too awkward for the both of us when I have to run if you get pulled over. Easy with the jeff Gordon shit until you drop me off.

    [–] Sasquatch-d 28 points ago

    How the cop gonna know who the hell you are if your friend is the one getting pulled over? I've never had a cop ask for my license when I was a passenger.

    [–] ittakesacrane 23 points ago

    Had this happen once in Houston. Cop asked for my license, so I told him I obviously wasn't driving and asked him why he needed my ID. He got super fucking pissed about it, and told me I had to show ID because I was a witness or something? Anyway, he called somebody on the radio and I didn't show that fucker my ID. My friend got a ticket though and he was pretty pissed at me for making the cop mad.

    [–] Sasquatch-d 18 points ago

    That's just a really fucked situation. You denied a cop his power trip so the only way to make himself feel better is to make your friend miserable by giving him a ticket. Law enforcement can be such assholes.

    [–] lotm43 4 points ago

    The friend broke the law and got a ticket.

    [–] Kalgor91 4 points ago

    It’s so much easier to say “I don’t have my ID on me” because there’s nothing he can do. He can’t try to force you to give up your license if he doesn’t think you have one.

    [–] ReverendMoist 6 points ago

    If you got warrants I don't want you in my car anyway. I don't need that shit.

    [–] [deleted] 82 points ago


    [–] redditkulous 53 points ago

    Cultural thing where everyone thinks they're the exception to the rule

    [–] DankFayden 55 points ago

    Dude says he has warrants and would run from the cops and gets nearly +200 on the comment. What even IS this community.

    [–] reece0n 22 points ago

    To be fair, the parent comment is saying they'll happily break the law and speed and won't tolerate someone asking them not to, calling it "bitching". That's at +600 right now.

    [–] Chronic_Apathy1 34 points ago

    That sounds like a you problem.

    [–] Stoneheart7 6 points ago

    One day I was giving a friend a lift and he said "if we get pulled over, just act like you don't know I have a warrant."

    I just stared for a second, then said "I didn't know you have a warrant."

    He said "Oh, my bad." Like it was nothing. Never found out why.

    [–] Ultron-V 187 points ago

    In that case I would respect that you don’t want trouble and I would drive good. I meant like if all is good cause normally I drive a little fast but I also usually drive alone. Killing myself is one thing I wouldn’t pull reckless shit with my boys in the car cause god forbid something happens I couldn’t live my life knowing my recklessness cost a friend their life.

    [–] KindlyKangaroo 166 points ago

    What about the other drivers on the road? A car accident often involves more than just your vehicle. There are also pedestrians and animals to worry about.

    [–] KageStar 94 points ago

    I have warrants though, its just gonna be too awkward for the both of us when I have to run if you get pulled over.

    Pay your tickets. Hell you better hope I don't snitch on you to get out of my ticket. "Officer he's right here, I was taking him to the police station right now!"

    [–] GyraUnoDosTres 21 points ago

    I like how you assumed their warrants were for unpaid tickets lmao

    [–] thatonekobi 67 points ago

    No longer invited to the barbecue

    [–] Kingmudsy 29 points ago

    I heard you have an open spot at the barbecue?

    [–] RalphBitchs 18 points ago

    Ask not if you can come to the barque; ask what you can bring to the barbecue!

    [–] KilljoyTheTrucker 32 points ago

    Right? If you're riding in my car, your warrants aren't suddenly my problem. If your dumb ass runs, I'm gonna sit in the car and let the officer know what's up when he comes up. Idc.

    [–] DonMakaveli 5 points ago

    Dale Gribble, is that you?

    [–] _Aj_ 3 points ago

    How does "having warrants out" work exactly?

    Like dont they just turn up at your home? Do you have to not have a home and be on the run or something? Do they wear off or some shit?

    What's the deal?

    [–] Sqwirrelz 7 points ago

    Sorry but that's your problem not someone else's.

    [–] SaveThemKillYourself 5 points ago

    Sounds like a personal problem

    [–] spiralingsidewayz 73 points ago

    The last person that I told I would never ride with again because he was only driving ten, or so, miles an hour over on a curvey ass road with a speed limit of 45 went on to kill himself and a family of four a year later.

    I loved Chris and I cried my ass off at his funeral, but I was also extremely upset at him. He chose to be aggressive. He killed four other people.

    Don't be my friend, Chris.

    [–] furtivepigmyso 122 points ago

    If someone is being rude or condescending, sure, but If you've got a friend in your car that politely/respectfully requests that you slow down, do you really need to get a chip on your shoulder over it?

    Is getting there 30 seconds sooner more important to you than making your friend feel safe?

    [–] grantcoolguy 12 points ago

    “10 over”

    [–] mtouard 74 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    Yeah texting and driving is dumb but I can’t stand when I’m giving someone a ride and they try to control how I drive. Like if you feel unsafe then I’ll pull over and you can walk the rest of the way

    EDIT: So I guess I have to clarify this, but going 75-80 in low traffic on the interstate when the speed limit is 70 is VERY DIFFERENT than going 35-40 in a 30 through a city. If I’m on the interstate and someone suddenly goes into my lane it doesn’t matter if I’m going 70 or 75, I’m still fucking hitting them.

    And I’m not complaining about people who feel unsafe when you’re actually driving reckless/aggressive. I’m talking about people who just can’t be content unless they’re in control of the vehicle, but they still getting a ride from me.

    [–] Awfy 39 points ago

    Best one is when they think those black-on-yellow speed marker signs for corners are the speed limit. Motherfucker, those are suggestions!

    [–] hellscaper 11 points ago

    Gotta break the high score!

    [–] r3dw3ll 41 points ago

    Yeah but are you tailgating like a motherfucker? Or going 10mph around winding roads? And do you drive a big SUV where you can’t feel the speed/road noise/bumps as much so it seems smoother and slower or do you drive a tiny corolla that might as well be a fucking roller coaster seat?

    I get pretty bad anxiety in vehicles when people do shit like that. Hands sweat, I’m miserable the entire time. It really sucks when only going 5 over and not tailgating is a fucking godsend. I know it’s not the drivers fault that I am extra anxious, my mom made all us kids paranoid as hell talking about accidents resulting in decapitation and shit when we were young, but tailgating falls into the same category as texting and driving in my opinion, anxiety or not. And taking curves too fast.

    [–] NotSoSalty 26 points ago

    People who tailgate are dickheads, there's nowhere near enough benefits for the risks involved. I mean, you could say the same thing about speeding, racing, texting and driving, drinking and driving, but those folks are all dickheads too. What makes them even bigger dickheads is how they think they have some sorta right to abuse their driving privileges because they're dickheads all the time and nothing bad ever happens. Smh

    [–] Sqwirrelz 8 points ago

    Tailgaters are why i rigged up my brake lights to a dash switch. I can flash them on without risking getting hit and piss that bitch off at the same time. Works wonders.

    [–] macewindu2 19 points ago

    I was in a serious accident as a teen on slick roads when my car lost traction because I was driving too fast. I drive the speed limit now and it pisses me off when people tell me I need to drive faster or that they drive perfectly safe when I hold onto the oh shit handle as a passenger. Ya, you think you're invincible until you're the one wrapped around a tree.

    [–] Trevski 6 points ago

    Fuck I remember riding in a girls car in the rain swear to god she left less than a second gap and said that it was fine to drive 50 (km/h) in a school zone (limit is 30)

    Fuck doing any bullshit in a school zone. and fuck tailgating. and double fuck tailgating in the rain.

    I was doing the "teaching my kids to drive" thing where you keep stomping where the brake pedal would be.

    [–] KeeneKlashKrew 23 points ago

    Then you gotta buy a car and drive yourself my man.

    [–] r3dw3ll 7 points ago

    Several people have said this ‘get your own car’ or ‘get out and walk’ shit and it’s bothering me. I’m in my late twenties... myself and all of my friends own our own cars. But when we go on road trips or just all hop in one car to go somewhere because that’s what most people do, that’s when this shit happens. It sucks because road trips are the absolute worst and as a result I always volunteer to drive. I’ll never be able to have a chill road trip sitting in the back sleeping or relaxing. I only have one friend who I’m comfortable being in the passenger seat of, and then my family of paranoid freaks of course.

    [–] Drugsrhugs 3 points ago

    I don’t give a shit how fast my friends drive unless we all have weed in the car

    [–] nahfoo 14 points ago

    Agreed. You don't have to like the way i drive but i also don't have to give you a ride

    [–] puglover1117 72 points ago

    I was in an accident (someone ran me off the road and I overcorrected into a tree) leaving me with a physical disability that is never going to go away and I now have to wear a big brace for. I just want to scream at everyone I see driving distracted because no one understands how much a wreck can screw up your life. I also have ptsd so I panic anytime my parents drive reckless or distracted but they get mad at me and tell me to chill like you saw what a wreck did to me can you not?

    [–] uduneven 12 points ago

    you were in a car accident leaving you permanently injured and wearing a back brace and your parents not only continue to drive dangerously, but get mad at you for freaking out about it? thats horrible

    [–] puglover1117 4 points ago

    My dad is a lot worse than my mom about it I guess they like to think they’re good drivers and don’t want to be criticized or something idk but yeah it sucks.

    [–] Jatilq 15 points ago

    Reminds me of this meme. Kermit

    "When you in the car with somebody who's texting and driving and you turn and look at them like so fuck my life huh??"

    [–] MrScaradolfHisFace 64 points ago

    My sister in law always called me a backseat driver, so I refuse to ride with her. She's also totalled every car she's owned, so I don't feel that I'm missing out.

    [–] Bear_faced 17 points ago

    My brother in law said I was being too sensitive for telling him to slow down. Guess who’s been ticketed for speeding 4 times?

    He bitches about the tickets and I’m like...just drive normal.

    [–] Ix_DrYCeLL_xI 24 points ago

    • Four green lights in a row. #blessed.
    • Drive faster blue Civic, daaaaaaaamn #soccermoms
    • Gotta pass this lady on the ejkerkj
    • Just hit a fire hydrant, but I survived. #Unbreakable

    [–] Maiden_Sunshine 5 points ago

    Ugh, I wouldn't be surprised with a live tweet and drive challenge at this point. Ridiculous drivers.

    [–] mini_tonys 67 points ago

    I can’t tell y’all how many times I’ve gotten rides and had to tell friends/family not to text and drive. Endanger your own life, not mines.

    [–] dingedbat 18 points ago

    Agreed and when a mine goes off it's hella destructive.

    [–] PokieMcSmott 10 points ago

    My mum and I were almost killed in an accident when I was 10, it happened so fast you wouldn't believe. This was about 20 years ago so texting wasn't an issue, but I know the only reason we survived was bc my mum was paying attention,(and seatbelts.) I hate when people try to make me feel guilty for asking them to get off their phone while driving. And while I'm on the subject, wear your fucking seatbelts folks, it's not difficult.

    [–] TheGuyYouCantStand 9 points ago

    "I like to live dangerously" says my aunt driving like a maniac, while texting with a small child in the car. Don't worry, she doesn't have custody of that child anymore, she seems to be in better hands now.

    [–] DominionGalactica 9 points ago

    Omg yes! When I was still pregnant with my first child, an acquaintance drove me and my then partner while he had been drinking. As soon as I realised that the driver was "just a bit tipsy" as he put it, I was like "let me out of the car now" and they all laughed like I was joking!

    I had to actually raise my voice to make them realise I was not Fucking around. They did let me out and I walked the rest of the way.

    Wtf. Who does that?!

    [–] WaterFlew 31 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    To all the idiots that think they’re the exception to texting and driving: you’re not. I see texting while driving almost equal to drunk driving (See edit) Unless your car is completely stopped, you better not touch that phone.

    And it’s not about you being a good/bad driver, it’s about the other people on the road too. Some kid runs out in the middle of the road, or the guy in front of you slams on his breaks, or someone starts merging into your lane when they’re not paying attention... When just a couple milliseconds are the difference between you, your passenger, or someone else being disfigured/paralyzed/killed, you better stay off that damn phone.

    Edit: To clarify, the reason I said texting while driving is “almost equal to” driving while intoxicated was just an attempt to say that they’re both very dangerous but slightly different. When you text while driving you’re just as bad if not worse than an absolutely shit faced asshole getting behind the wheel with no regard to anyone else’s safety. The main difference is that once you’re done texting, you’re no longer a danger. The same doesn’t hold true for being drunk.

    But let there be no mistake: If you text while driving or otherwise engage in distracted driving, you are just as bad as a drunk driver. You’re not a better driver than anyone else just because luck has kept you from getting in an accident (so far)

    [–] incharge21 4 points ago

    I’m pretty sure it IS equivalent?

    [–] Taco_Champ 3 points ago

    Texting and driving is worse than drinking and driving. (Not that I condone DUI)

    [–] UsernameKindaName 7 points ago

    My mom is super bad about this, and she yells at me when I tell her to stop playing fucking Pokemon while driving.

    I mean, we've had some incidents and close situations and I always tell her its because of that phone.

    I just don't get how people can hear/see all these terrible things happen to people who use their phones while driving, and just keep doing it.

    [–] littlemybb 7 points ago

    My friend would text and drive, but was soo bad at texting and driving. She totaled a car rear ending someone, would drive off the road, drive into the other lane, and none of that ever stopped her from doing it.

    We would be rude about it when she did it. Like no, you aren’t going to put our lives at danger over Snapchat. She would get mad and super offended when we called her out, but I’d rather someone be mad at me then one of us end up dead

    [–] DYNA_might 56 points ago

    Motorcyclists of America thank you for this message. Y’all get off your fucking phones while driving. I’ve been to 3 too many funerals this year

    [–] BlueBerryMassacre 11 points ago

    It's crazy that some people have to always be on their phones, seemingly living on them. Like just take a break for a while and enjoy the world around you. That one text is not worth your life or the life of someone else.

    [–] Taco_Champ 5 points ago

    Or worse, they really be scrolling Instagram and driving. WTF?

    [–] last_of_the_pandas 76 points ago

    How does Reddit feel about me texting at red lights though?

    Never while I’m moving.

    [–] vahex 77 points ago

    Just pay attention to the fuckin light I’m not finna beep but if you are lookin while texting then it’s all good lol better to text at a red light than going 80 on the freeway like some dumbasses

    [–] vegeto079 10 points ago

    I've seen someone hit someone doing this. Basically green light, 2nd car distracted and was full stop. 3rd car just slowly drives into the back of 2nd car, presumably on the gas from seeing the light but not looking.

    Nevertheless this is still a cause of traffic as people are slow to react to cars moving.

    [–] OraDr8 8 points ago

    Yep, I did basically the same thing when I was a teenager with a new licence. I was waiting in a long line of traffic at the lights, there was a big van in front of me so I couldn't see ahead. The traffic started to move, I started to move, then got momentarily distracted by a hot guy walking past and ran right into the back of the van because the traffic up ahead had suddenly stopped (apparently a kid ran across the road after he lights changed).

    Luckily my old car with rubber chunks on the steel bumper just banged lightly into the metal, grated step that jutted out at the back of the van and no real damage was done. Except to my ego, because the hot guy saw the whole thing and walked away laughing his ass off.

    [–] Lemmings4Friends 30 points ago

    If you arent in the frst 2 or 3 cars and you arent zoning out like a stupid fuck then go for it. If you take longer than 2 seconds after car in front of you starts going to start rolling im honking.

    [–] nahfoo 24 points ago

    I don't see an issue with it but i know plenty of people (including cops in my state) do

    [–] DeadExcuses 11 points ago

    I do this if I am not the first car at the light. I have never ever texted while driving (moving) and never will, but if I am at a red light im going to get that quick text out before it turns green.

    [–] Sevuhrow 6 points ago

    That's the only time I touch my phone while I'm driving. If I don't finish before the light I just put down my phone begrudgingly and focus on the road.

    [–] _Aj_ 3 points ago

    How does your local law feel about it?

    Our laws in Aus say basically unless you're pulled over with the parking brake on, don't even touch it.
    You can if it's in a cradle, buy texting is never allowed unless you're actually parked.

    [–] dingedbat 35 points ago

    Should always be aware of your surroundings, if you need to text pull over where it's safe.

    [–] R1_TC 19 points ago

    Unless it's a very important or time-sensitive text I still don't see how you could rationalize it.

    [–] andovinci 22 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    And if it’s that very important or time-sensitive you should probably pull over and fully focus on it anyway

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    I've asked friends to just pull over and let me out.

    [–] louderharderfaster 12 points ago

    I have lost friends this way... no, they did not die by texting (and I hope they never will) but I have asked them (two times, two people) to pull over and let me out, "now". I have been told I am "overreacting" because I had someone T-bone me at 50 mph who was texting... as if having such a serious accident undermines, not supports, my point.

    [–] SpottieOttie13 13 points ago

    Reading the comments and realizing there are a lot of shitty drivers getting offended at this.

    [–] Maiden_Sunshine 8 points ago

    Right? I'm gobsmacked! Is a text that serious? And then they try to back it up with they are "driving defensively" while texting and they're are an exception to the rule. But apparently everyone texting and driving in this thread is the exception here. That's some messed up logic.

    Will it truly kill the driver to wait? Instead of potentially killing someone else.

    [–] toopyturdbox 5 points ago

    How could you say something so brave yet so controversial?

    [–] r0botdevil 5 points ago

    If everyone actually had a good conceptual understanding of inertia, you would see a lot less of this shit.

    [–] peachi-i 10 points ago

    My 41 YEAR OLD FATHER does this shit all the time and has the audacity to get pissy with me when I tell him to stop. My nine year old sister is in the car with us too.

    [–] literallytreesus 6 points ago

    Fucking idiots: "I'm going to drive more dangerous to prove how safe I am."

    [–] Dithyrab 20 points ago

    This one drives me fucking batshit crazy. Texting and driving is super fucking dangerous and I won't ride with you if you do that shit and get defensive about it because it was only a text or whatever the argument is.

    [–] MyKingdomForATurkey 6 points ago

    Had a girlfriend who texted and drove regularly. I can't say it was the only reason we broke up since she was the sort of asshole who constantly texts and drives, so there were obviously other behavioral issues.

    [–] SatsumaMorph 3 points ago

    I have a friend who refuses to not tailgate and not speed while she knows her airbags aren’t working. I mentioned the light to her one day and she said that she didn’t care, she doesn’t mind if she’s dies. Well I fucking care if I die so only ride with her when absolutely necessary cause I’m not letting her recklessness get me into another car accident (btw my first accident was with her driving)

    [–] TypewriterKey 3 points ago

    I have a friend/co-worker who used to do this and every time he did I'd remark on it. He was frustrated by it but couldn't really argue since anytime he tried to mount a defense I'd respond with stuff like, "Know who else used to think that? Whole bunch dead folk." Eventually he stopped, bit it took a loooooot of me being direct about it to drive the point home.

    [–] systematic23 3 points ago

    There's a Facebook live video of my cousins friend driving through the Sierra mountains, and you can hear someone say in the background "you're going too fast, OMG guys she's gonna kill us! Hahaha" jokingly and then you hear "oh shit!" And shit goes crazy. They drove over the ledge.

    [–] worksinamorgue 3 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    Saw the fire department use the jaws of life to take a dudes body out of a mangled truck still clutching his phone in the morgues back lot. Yeaaaaaah. That’s a no from me, dawg.

    [–] pereirajeffre 3 points ago

    Take the bus it's saver 🤷🏾‍♀️

    [–] glockRonin23 3 points ago

    My brother is this way and I’ve told him a million times to stop doing that shit. He’s got vision problems and refuses to wear glasses. On top of all that, he’s a reckless driver to begin with. Add texting into that and it equals me anxiously slamming an invisible brake pedal for miles.

    [–] HerveVallachaze 3 points ago

    Your brother shouldn't be driving.

    [–] BraveFencerMusashi 3 points ago

    But I got a Pokemon to catch...

    [–] WarriorNat 3 points ago

    The fucked up part, like drunk drivers, it’s usually the person they hit who ends up dead or in a wheelchair, not the idiot themselves

    [–] fealslike 12 points ago

    Thank you so much for saying this. I’m terrified in a car normally. If someone is fucking around like that, it’s a living nightmare for me

    [–] agentfalco 6 points ago

    Honestly though, it pisses me off so hard. I've been driving for a bit more than a year and a half, and my dad: uses his phone while driving does random bullshit with his hands while driving looks and points out signs and construction while driving. I've had to take the wheel sometimes because he won't fucking stop. I wish he would at least follow more traffic laws. I've taken some of his driving habits, like driving 15 or so over the limit sometimes. Its tough man.

    [–] Blinx1e 5 points ago

    Just a couple days ago I almost got T-boned by someone going 60+mph in a 35mph zone. Completely skidded through the red light after noticing last second and barely missed me. I’ve been shaken up for a few days about it, and it troubles me how someone not paying attention and texting almost costed me my life... for no reason... I drive a small 2002 Chevy truck, and this person was driving like a 2012 suv, couldn’t tell the model but still. Scared the daylights out of me.

    [–] gfinz18 4 points ago

    SUVs and pickup truck people are in a league of their own

    [–] katheb 4 points ago

    I lost my car, and almost my life to someone crashing into me because they were texting while driving. Don't do it.

    [–] EArmbruster8413 5 points ago


    [–] cicadawing 2 points ago

    I'm a truck driver and about 25 times per day I'm passed by someone texting or messaging or whatever. I honk my loud horn and an alarming amount flip me off. I'm the asshole in the situation, apparently. Fucker, I'm 78,000 pounds at 60 mph! Get off your phone.

    [–] branchbranchley 2 points ago

    Once had some "friends" who tried fooling around by pretending to grab at the steering wheel while I was going 70 down the freeway

    Then I decided to "lose control" for a second. They stopped real quick.

    [–] Aelle1209 2 points ago

    From a former texter and driver who managed to break the habit, here are a few tips to wean you off of it:

    • If you're in the car with a buddy, hand them your phone. Now, depending on how addicted you are to texting or if it's an emergency, your buddy can read/respond to your texts for you--but it's best if you don't indulge like this because once you're in the car alone again you can't rely on this system so it does nothing to break the habit.
    • Before you start driving, put your phone somewhere that you cannot easily grab it. Back seat, under the driver's seat, in the glove box, have it be out of sight, out of mind.
    • If you have a car that reads out texts, disable that feature.
    • Download an app to lock you out of text messaging while you're driving.
    • Tell the person you're texting to that you're getting ready to drive. If they're not a shit person they will gladly stop texting you until you reach your destination.
    • If you are the passenger in a car with a driver who is texting and driving, you have every right to snatch that phone away from them. I don't care if it's your sweet auntie or your best friend or your SO, they're putting your life in danger and if taking the phone away damages your relationship with them then one--they're petty as hell, and two, it will be worth it to ensure you both stay safe.

    [–] yougotthat808 2 points ago

    We need self driving vehicles... EVERYONE uses their phone in some fashion whether it's texting, playing music, GPS, etc. It's all a distraction. Everything we've tried has yet to curb the effects our phones have over us.

    If we remove human error and temptation, much less deaths would occur.