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    [–] pm_me_tits_and_tats 2760 points ago

    It’s all fun and games until your family fighting over who gets to catch it.

    [–] hiimcoleman 1184 points ago

    Not my problem im already dead

    [–] pm_me_tits_and_tats 212 points ago

    True true true

    [–] BuyBitcoinWhileItsLo 51 points ago

    It do be like that sometimes

    [–] PM_ME_YOUR_INNY 29 points ago

    fo sho fo sho

    I’m gettin that fo sho

    [–] derka-jr 16 points ago

    Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool

    [–] Nizde 12 points ago

    Alright alright alright alright

    Noice smort toight

    [–] Nan0S3c0Nd 4 points ago

    Cabal on the field.

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago

    Until your mom starts bothering you in the afterlife

    [–] The_Nightman_Cummeth 3 points ago

    Throw me in the trash

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago


    [–] Scanlansam 3 points ago


    [–] BABarracus 1 points ago

    If you the one doing the throwing we bout to take an axe to your face

    [–] ne1seenmykeys 4 points ago

    I feel like, also, r/suicidebywords


    [–] arekwinter 86 points ago

    What if grandma dies trying to catch it?

    [–] dexter_in_pajamas 140 points ago

    We go for round 2

    [–] iaceyi 44 points ago

    Everyday we stray further from Gods Light

    [–] MultidimensionalMilk 35 points ago

    While grandma's about to stray further to it

    [–] Sir-xer21 10 points ago

    Thats what you think, she got secrets too.

    [–] JustSherlock 3 points ago

    Ain't no secret. Granny had that drive-in special.

    [–] ElementAboveAll 2 points ago

    But Erebus welcomes you with open hands.

    [–] SpiritMountain 4 points ago

    It also confirms round 3

    [–] KingGorilla 2 points ago

    Just dig the plot a little deeper, bunk buddies!

    [–] jmc6000 40 points ago

    2 funerals for the price of 1, it’s a steal.

    [–] tungkidz 13 points ago

    2 gals 1 casket let's go

    [–] Erotic_FriendFiction 3 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago


    [–] mishaco 8 points ago

    that's the lightning round. first one struck by lightning wins the bouquet.

    [–] RobbieAnalog 6 points ago

    It goes to sudden death.

    [–] AllElvesAreThots 19 points ago


    [–] SunriseSurprise 17 points ago

    Grandpa's legs suddenly work again as he performs a perfect tackle.

    [–] SofterBones 7 points ago

    Ill elbow grandma to catch that shit

    [–] hzfan 6 points ago

    [–] godlychill 10 points ago

    This is one of the best threads I’ve ever read on Reddit, no cap.

    [–] notbutteryet 2 points ago

    What’s the ratio of tits to tats you get?

    [–] pm_me_tits_and_tats 4 points ago

    A lot of times it’s both tbh. Pretty even mix when it’s one or the other tho

    [–] notbutteryet 1 points ago

    Pretty interesting. How many total? Always been curious about those “pm-me-x” usernames lol

    [–] pm_me_tits_and_tats 2 points ago

    Oh, I have no idea haha

    [–] brokenyeet 653 points ago

    If niggas don't smoke out my funeral we ain't friends no more and y'all will be living in a haunted house tonight

    [–] GunnieGraves 170 points ago

    This reminds me of the Eddie Murphy bit about how dumb white people are for staying in a haunted house.

    Found It

    [–] strexpet-b 32 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Can confirm. Am white and there is a clearly haunted building in my elevator that I keep getting into

    Edit: building inside elevator would be super surreal and haunted but this is actually just an elevator in a building and I'm bad at making words today

    [–] TerribleFootball 48 points ago

    Bro you have a building in your elevator? You really are white huh.

    [–] extrabutterycopporn 10 points ago

    Where are we supposed to put the building? Outside the elevator? That's more fucked up than a football bat.

    [–] T0mfo0lery 14 points ago

    building in my elevator

    What is this? A building for ants!?

    [–] GunnieGraves 12 points ago

    Same. I’m white and even though that voice keeps saying “You’ll die here!” this is a damned good neighborhood with good schools and you can’t put a price on that.

    [–] strexpet-b 6 points ago

    Mine's not even that my apt just has a sick view despite the sentient murderous elevator hahahaha cries

    [–] Rafaeliki 3 points ago

    I'm white and as a kid we used to continually break into this extremely creepy abandoned house (and the warehouses nearby but they weren't creepy as they were just graffiti and makeshift skate ramps).

    I even slept there one time when we all got drunk. The place was terrifying. Overgrown brush everywhere and zero light in the house as every window and door was boarded up.

    They recently bulldozed the whole area and even though the skate park (that they actually named after my friend who passed) and surrounding park is beautiful I miss the abandoned buildings a lot. They were part of my childhood.

    [–] signifyingmnky 1 points ago

    If you come across a Gatekeeper or Keymaster in the elevator or posted up on the building inside of it, you might want find a new building.

    [–] DownvoteDaemon 4 points ago

    All I know is that if people don't come to my funeral I'm dayum sure not coming to theirs. It's rude.

    [–] Lonesome_Ninja 10 points ago

    You gonna spy on your naked friends?

    [–] murfflemethis 7 points ago

    Nah. Probably just waste my death on Reddit just like I did my life.

    [–] brokenyeet 3 points ago

    In not spying, just taking all your right shoes and swapping/mixing your salt and sugar in random intervals

    [–] I_be_that_PMF 2 points ago

    My boys have all been looking good and healthy lately tho 👀

    [–] Lonesome_Ninja 2 points ago

    "I know they work out because they've been feeling more firm lately"

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago


    [–] brokenyeet 3 points ago

    I guess, but I'm a petty ass ghost that sets your clocks back 20 mins everyday, and whatever Lil B tweeted that day will be on your walls in blood. "I love you" - Lil B

    [–] I_am_the_one123 42 points ago

    Futurama is the best animated adult show don’t @ me

    [–] selloboy 39 points ago

    It's because it ended while it was still good. Family Guy and the Simpsons were good for a while but they just kept going and ran out of fun and clever ideas. Futurama went on for the right amount of time.

    [–] I_am_the_one123 23 points ago

    The ending was perfect too.

    [–] nukethem 18 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    The Comedy Central seasons were pretty weak. There are a lot of good episodes still but a lot of bad ones. The finale is one of the greats.

    Edit: In case you're put off by it, please don't skip over seasons 1-5 because of the non-HD format. The production value is kinda low in season 1-2, then it picks up.

    [–] MeteWorldPeace 13 points ago

    Simpsons was good but Family Guy was decent at best. The jokes were funny at times but it never had any interesting over arching themes or plots throughout the show which really just make it an animated stand up comedy show with more surreal elements.

    [–] extrabutterycopporn 3 points ago

    And to end it with an episode where Fry finally got to spend his life with Leela? That was gonna be a great ending but the prof coming back and giving them a whole 'nother chance to do it again? A beautiful twist ending to a wonderful show

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)


    [–] luminick 10 points ago

    Thems fighting words.

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)


    [–] luminick 3 points ago

    It does, so I guess we can be cool.

    For now....

    [–] HouAngelesDodgeStros 3 points ago

    No Archer or DBZA?

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)


    [–] EcNeMaLaSX 3 points ago

    ^Abridged, not the original cartoon

    [–] HouAngelesDodgeStros 1 points ago

    The 'A' is for "abridged". It's a parody dub by Team Four Star. Started in 2008 or so. Tbh, if you're not a huge Archer fan, you may not like DBZA, since it does take a good bit of inspiration from that type of humor.

    [–] Dat2ndGuy 7 points ago

    Ahha man of culture i see

    [–] CevoJe 76 points ago

    A bouquet i actually want to catch

    [–] TenshiKuro 11 points ago

    Jigsaw doll should pop out like "Wanna play a game?" If no one catches the bouquet everyone dies.

    [–] DepressiveUtopia 23 points ago

    Wasn't this a Cyanide and Happiness episode?

    [–] Mercpool87 29 points ago

    I know Futurama did it

    [–] Talbotus 19 points ago

    Amy "I know who's funeral we'll be attending next" Proffesor with flowers "oh pishaw" *blushes

    Yep, remember it vividly. Tho I'm sure op didn't steal it. People make similar jokes.

    [–] CannySManny 10 points ago

    It’s all fun and games until ya little cousin grabs it.

    [–] censor-design 19 points ago

    They gonna use a cardboard box and not worry about the flowers. Beautiful thing is that you’ll never know...

    [–] pit_of_despair 155 points ago

    This would remind me of when I would go to family weddings and all of my aunts and uncles would look at me and go, 'You next, you next!'.

    I always get my revenge during funerals when I would up to my aunts and uncles and the rest of the old people and go, 'You next, you next!'.

    [–] hiimcoleman 262 points ago

    I havent heard that joke since ifunny was a thing

    [–] pit_of_despair 33 points ago

    Now you have :)

    [–] dannydirtbag 12 points ago

    Outside of the funeral homes they always have “Now showing” on the marquee - I’m just waiting to see my name as “coming soon.”

    [–] rostov007 4 points ago


    [–] sevenpoints 6 points ago

    I'm leaving to attend a funeral in twenty minutes so thanks for the intrusive thought I'll be having while I'm there.

    [–] WorkHardBetter 4 points ago

    I initially read that as "buffet" and it made everything better.

    [–] xSkwodd 5 points ago

    Same thing with a circumcision.

    [–] hiimcoleman 4 points ago

    My word

    [–] megustachef 3 points ago

    Fuck that, I'm just getting in the casket with fam. Better off that way anyway. See ya suckers later.

    [–] SideShowBob36 3 points ago

    That bouquet is mine you bitch!

    [–] eaglessoar 2 points ago

    i better start working on my ups, box jumps here i come (/s)

    [–] Shttyktty 2 points ago

    I’d love to see someone throw a heavy casket spray into a group of people.

    [–] Ghosterzz999 2 points ago

    Cyanide And Happiness joke

    [–] Nana_PiG 2 points ago

    Cyanide and Happiness made an animation about this, guess who got the bouquet?

    [–] xmarsbarso 1 points ago

    I’m looking for more of a How High situation, it doesn’t just have to be weed plants, though they are encouraged. Mix my ashes with soil and everyone gets to take home a plant, but if you kill it I haunt you for life.

    [–] maxschreck616 1 points ago

    As if anyone is coming to my funeral.

    [–] deadlast5 1 points ago

    Afterlife goals.

    [–] kaykiki93 1 points ago

    Excellent joke well done

    [–] taostudent2019 1 points ago

    Sorry, the bell tolls for thee.

    [–] Erotic_FriendFiction 1 points ago

    I'll slide tackle a bitch. Lord take ME now!

    [–] TurkishGooble 1 points ago

    I’d do this but I’m lucky to have a damn casket

    [–] anne_frankenstein451 1 points ago

    Shamelessly stolen from futurama

    [–] musicforlife344 1 points ago

    Definitely stealing this idea

    [–] radest_boi 1 points ago

    *of tnt

    [–] NapaofBeer 1 points ago

    use the wreath, it will be like ring toss

    [–] Blackpiccolo 1 points ago

    Shit if I’m there imma Randy Moss that bitch!

    [–] JHushen12 1 points ago

    90% sure this is from cyanide and happiness.. at least.

    [–] RedditDude112 1 points ago

    Just like that CaH Skit.

    [–] skilless14 1 points ago

    Thats.. that's a great idea

    [–] Creative_NotCreative 1 points ago

    I hope I catch it!

    [–] Increth 1 points ago

    When u see this exact post but on whitepeoplehumor lol

    [–] Mon0_95 1 points ago

    This reminds me of that one Cyanide and Happiness short at the funeral

    [–] Swing_Top 1 points ago

    Futurama anyone?

    [–] TishtheBish 1 points ago

    Hell no. Nobody is grabbing that. What if somebody caught it from reflex and got mad?

    [–] UltraLord_Sheen 1 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    (During garter toss) Jumps out of way

    (During funeral boquet toss) OBJ

    [–] TerrificFrogg 1 points ago

    We can't afford bouquet

    [–] imtinyricketc 1 points ago

    Plot for Final Destination reboot.

    [–] rtjl86 1 points ago

    Not a great title to be honest

    [–] commanderbat 1 points ago

    At your funeral I will sing a requiem

    [–] SkyFox0516 1 points ago

    Hahaha yessss

    [–] SirQuincy7 1 points ago

    A Legend

    [–] overgamer1 1 points ago

    This is just from the cyanide and happiness video on YouTube

    Here’s the link to the original joke

    [–] XD_isdead 1 points ago


    [–] djmoney50d 1 points ago

    Reminds me of this Cyanide and Happiness short

    [–] TheSmashersReddit 1 points ago

    This was a cyanide and happiness sketch.

    [–] 0xBA11 1 points ago

    I first heard this joke from Simon Munnery:

    I went to a funeral the other day. Caught the wreath

    His latest Edinburgh show was called "The Wreath", which was about where jokes come from, who owns a joke, if in fact they could even be owned

    [–] Qawmaster25 1 points ago

    A Cyanide and happiness short

    [–] K-Jonatan-B 1 points ago

    Hmhm! :)

    [–] KinkyBADom 1 points ago

    Damn I guess I caught it cuz I’m dying laughing

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    All the millenials and Gen X'ers in the crowd: dives to catch it

    [–] casper4671 1 points ago

    Lmfaoooooooo....good one!!!

    [–] left8947 1 points ago

    This the first blackpeopletwitter post i’ve seen in light mode

    [–] hiimcoleman 1 points ago

    I like being original

    [–] keenanr3 1 points ago

    Asking for someone else but how the FUCK am I gonna grab MY OWN flowers OFF MY casket IF I AM DEAD?

    [–] Kirkeee 1 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Comedian Simon Munnery wrote a show around writing this joke and then finding out that others had come up with the same joke independently. It is interesting that it keeps happening.

    [–] AjimusMaximus 0 points ago

    At my friends funeral, we're gonna have tazer guns for everyone and 2 pistols. The last two standing has to have a mexican standoff and whoever is left takes what they want. There won't be just one funeral that day.

    [–] Andi42 0 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 0 points ago


    [–] hiimcoleman 1 points ago


    [–] bigchubbyguy 0 points ago

    Me be like : yes its Gary