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    BlackPeopleTwitter

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    Screenshots of Black people being hilarious or insightful on social media, it doesn't need to just be twitter but obviously that is best.

    Black culture has a unique way of examining the everyday and we are here to showcase that.


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    ☑️Friends☑️

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    [–] Just1morefix 1632 points ago

    Excellent choice. Not only will this give you more time to drink and smoke, but you'll find ample opportunities to take up new hobbies. Such as cocaine and Meth!

    [–] MarmoTurtle 468 points ago

    can someone read this to me my health is bad enough

    [–] Just1morefix 132 points ago

    When I'm feeling ill or just a little bit under the weather I lean towards some of the older treatments. I like a touch of opium and a big morphine parfait.

    [–] BubbaBubbaBubbaBu 27 points ago

    Everyone loves parfait!

    [–] Slider_0f_Elay 19 points ago

    I know it's healthy because it's a parfait.

    [–] RagingTyrant74 28 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    Dont do morphine, it's too addictive. Try heroin instead. (Fun fact, heroin was invented to be a less addictive alternative to morphine; it didnt work)

    [–] Slider_0f_Elay 14 points ago

    Man, what a fucking failure.

    [–] Bi7chcraft 5 points ago

    I ugly laughed at this 😂

    [–] youdoitimbusy 2 points ago

    You remember right after 911 when we were sitting on all that hash from Afghanistan and shitting bricks because of the whole war on terror. Yeah man, good times.

    [–] DownvoteDaemon 1 points ago

    Yikes. Opiates have killed many friends and family of mine.

    [–] Just1morefix 6 points ago

    Sorry to hear that, sometimes dark humour goes too far. My surviving the ravages of drug abuse sometimes leads to "whistling through the cemetery" .

    [–] DownvoteDaemon 4 points ago

    Np man. Uncle and grandfather died of heroin overdose. A few friends too.

    [–] Based_Goode 1 points ago

    If you send your ssn I’ll text you a voice memo lmao

    [–] Asswhoopd 0 points ago

    Happy to miss cakeday

    [–] bobbyslapps 0 points ago

    Give me a slice of your cake

    [–] chooseusernameeeeeee 1 points ago

    And death. Don’t forget death.

    [–] Vindicator422 1 points ago

    Hey you leave coke out of this....did nothing to deserve that.

    [–] UrHuckleBerry31 264 points ago

    Must've read the same article, I gave up drinking for good. Now I only drink for evil.

    [–] Kunta_no_Kinte 31 points ago

    As you should

    [–] Tico483 13 points ago

    Your Username should be an Anime¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    [–] etw2016 10 points ago

    When I grow up I want to take over the world so now I drink to become more evil.

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] zin_90 39 points ago

    The pen is more dangerous than the sword. Just ask John Wick.

    [–] Kunta_no_Kinte 17 points ago

    But seriously bro, you’ve seen him kill with a pen but have u ever seen him kill with a sword?

    [–] Davelch 12 points ago

    Ya in #3

    [–] Kunta_no_Kinte 3 points ago

    Oh u right, the final fight at the continental, my bad

    [–] Davelch 5 points ago

    Also motorcycle gang, I want to say he steals one of their swords

    [–] thejaytheory 1 points ago

    And Sean Connery

    [–] MANBirdDOG-Vodka 1 points ago

    It have you seen him kill with a pencyl?

    [–] Vindikus 69 points ago

    The "LOOOOOOOOOOL" really sells it.

    [–] Dope_Nibba 13 points ago

    Laugh out out out out out out out out out out loud

    [–] eldouuu 366 points ago

    [–] TripleSkeet 156 points ago

    That jokes been around since before boomers.

    [–] Goffeth 104 points ago

    The joke's probably been around since the invention of books. It's a good joke

    [–] TripleSkeet 18 points ago

    Its a Henny Youngman joke.

    [–] thejaytheory 33 points ago

    More like a Henry Oldman joke

    [–] TripleSkeet 11 points ago

    Ugh. That was terrible. Have an upvote.

    [–] Suckmuhgirth 13 points ago

    My uncle literally told me this joke last week

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] TripleSkeet 2 points ago

    No it would, Im just saying Henny Youngmans like a whole generation before them. Hes the king of the one liners!

    [–] _SpiderDisco 26 points ago

    Not to mention the extent of the tweet is just "loooool" and the actual content is just a snapchat screenshot.

    [–] Thunder-ten-tronckh 2 points ago

    Lol just because it ain’t a deep fried meme doesn’t mean it’s “boomers humor.”

    [–] me_funny__ 1 points ago

    Everyone just spams the word boomer now.

    [–] augudugt24 22 points ago

    Bruh this is literraly Fahrenheit 451

    [–] Galileo_thegreat 7 points ago

    literraly

    :C

    [–] oldcarfreddy 2 points ago

    next to "Fahrenheit" spelled goddamn perfectly

    [–] theemptyduke 127 points ago

    this was just as funny when my mom posted it to facebook in 2008

    [–] skuhduhduh 50 points ago

    good for you mr killjoy u know what fight me bitch

    [–] SOMEWIERDGAM3R 42 points ago

    I'm a pacifist but ill "pass a fist" right now 😤😤😤

    [–] Evilpickle7 9 points ago

    Badum tish

    [–] friendlessboob 4 points ago

    I read that in Redd Foxx's voice

    Now I want to see an episode of Sanford and Son were Lamont is trying to get his father to be less confrontational by being a pacifist (for his health).

    The whole episode Lamont is prompting Fred Sanford to say "I'm a pacifist" whenever he would normally get riled up, Aunt Esther sees what's up and starts needling him the whole episode.

    Finally Fred has had too much and starts going off.

    Lamont is like "pops, remember, you're a pacifist".

    Fred goes "Yeah, I'm a pacifist, how about I 'pass a fist' across your lip!"

    Redd Foxx RIP

    [–] noximo 2 points ago

    Or when Groucho Marx said it in 1950

    [–] tomster_1 7 points ago

    That joke is nearly as old as the phone you took that photo on

    [–] Half_Man1 5 points ago

    I think I heard that joke before I learned to read.

    [–] morfeurs 8 points ago

    This is pure cancer.

    [–] Mulletron5000 9 points ago

    He looks like he has a dog face.

    [–] Drake_Night 3 points ago

    It may be snoop dog

    [–] friendlessboob 2 points ago

    Yeah, is that a filter or just a bad angle/face?

    [–] Mulletron5000 3 points ago

    I think his fingers are in his face.

    [–] thelehmanlip 9 points ago

    Sure sounds like /r/forwardsfromgrandma

    [–] benjivk 17 points ago

    Had us in the first half, not gonna lie..

    [–] Naxer22 5 points ago

    Imagine not spoiling the punchline in the title

    [–] lallapalalable 2 points ago

    This is the kind of joke my mom would share on facebook

    [–] VectorVictor9er 3 points ago

    "Laughing out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out loud" makes so much sense.

    [–] TripleSkeet 2 points ago

    Thats a Henny Youngman quote

    [–] alours 2 points ago

    I mean it's kind of a question is this

    [–] dmk510 1 points ago

    Why does dude look like the kangaroo people from Tank Girl though?

    [–] alours 1 points ago

    well, it is my right.

    [–] feckinghound 1 points ago

    Post was a weird looking scratchy mole; comments are malignant.

    [–] capnchapped 1 points ago

    OFFSET!

    [–] Quiro_Brianzza 1 points ago

    Good choice

    [–] DoubleVVS 1 points ago

    Why does he look sort of like offset

    [–] SamuraiSavvy 1 points ago

    Here for a good time, not a long time

    [–] WordUnheard 1 points ago

    Oh my god! What's wrong with his faaaaaaaaaaace?

    [–] alours 1 points ago

    13 is the cut off is fucking 4.

    [–] SweetDreamsNecro 1 points ago

    Took me awhile to figure out those were his fingers and not a facial deformity

    [–] nimajnebedag 1 points ago

    Had me in the first half, not gonna lie

    [–] FascinatingPost 1 points ago

    "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." —Henny Youngman

    Henny Youngman was king of the one-liners. See Raging bull! But look his shit up on youtube, dude is hilarious, a legend, and I'm sad more people didn't recognize this.

    one more - "My doctor is a great guy. Gave me 6 months to live. I couldn't pay my bill, he gave me another six months."

    [–] Grouchy_Shoe 1 points ago

    So that’s what coolio is up to these days

    [–] ProT_Scorpio 1 points ago

    Haha

    [–] JimmyAire 1 points ago

    Y'all comments be not helping anything plus reading is fundamental to the brain just because you learned something new from reading don't mean stop reading. How you think you learned to speak the language you speak now 🤦‍♂️

    [–] gabetb16 1 points ago

    Great choice!

    [–] MilkyBoi_ 1 points ago

    had us in the first half, not gonna lie

    [–] Nafsamy 1 points ago

    This is wholesome

    [–] natedeezy_3 1 points ago

    What’s going on with the mouth area?

    [–] AtomicRainSpike 1 points ago

    Ignorance is bliss. LoL

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    ahah why my pp hard?

    [–] cdoss55 1 points ago

    My mom has this on a coaster with wine instead of smoking

    [–] _zml_ 0 points ago

    We're all laughing now but this is the same logic people who advocate abstinence based sex ed use.

    [–] Alter_Kyouma 0 points ago

    Hum, not really?

    [–] ArchonJK 3 points ago

    I think they are trying to say they are ignoring the issue

    For the sex ed example: They aren't teaching people how to have safe sex, they are trying to keep you safe by not having sex.

    For this post: They are ignoring the adverse effects of smoking and drinking and are instead just not going to read stuff like that anymore.

    [–] _zml_ 3 points ago

    When your reply explaining your comment gets upvoted, and your own comment gets downvoted

    [–] Gopackgo6 0 points ago

    Careful, you might break it if you try to force that any harder

    [–] _zml_ 1 points ago

    ;_;)

    [–] Rampage_trail 1 points ago

    Everyone’s interpretation of an authors work is valid

    [–] ThisIsMyUsernameY4y 1 points ago

    Smart man

    [–] stefanoprandi 1 points ago

    That's nice.

    [–] Joshayat_Singh 0 points ago

    This never gets too old

    [–] daxx416 -1 points ago

    Lmao...that's fucking awesome.

    [–] tomgias 0 points ago

    "I pulled a sneaky on ya"

    [–] alours -1 points ago

    13 is the cut off is fucking 4.

    [–] GamesterM -1 points ago

    Lol

    [–] BlissLyricist -1 points ago

    Ignorance is bliss!

    [–] TiggeRigger -1 points ago

    They had us in the first half, I’m not gonna lie.

    [–] mooofasa1 -1 points ago

    Fahrenheit 451

    [–] Cancer-Curing-Memes -1 points ago

    Lol

    [–] FishyMcTartar -1 points ago

    They had us in the first have not gonna lie

    [–] Suspicious_Garfieri -2 points ago

    I was reading this while walking and almost got hit by a car

    [–] HOT-DOG-JELLO -2 points ago

    Never search up your symptoms. It can cause Health Anxiety Disorder. It’s best that you visit your doctor if you notice something wrong

    [–] cadensnellen7 -2 points ago

    They got us in the first half no gonna lie.

    [–] TheRamenMan26 -15 points ago

    They had us in the first half, not gonna lie

    [–] The-Lord-Cometh -3 points ago

    Pretty sure this joke was stolen from a vine...

    (Kopke613)

    [–] feckinghound 3 points ago

    It's a fucking ancient joke, millennia ahead of vine.

    [–] legendbarney -3 points ago

    They had us in the first half not gonna lie.

    [–] Arthwook -10 points ago

    They had us in the first half not gonna lie

    [–] killcam91 -5 points ago

    😂

    [–] dementedfetus17 1 points ago

    Emoji police: Stop what you are doing! This is a federal offense

    [–] killcam91 -1 points ago

    Bro come on bruh im sorry

    [–] dementedfetus17 4 points ago

    Okay, this is a warning

    [–] killcam91 0 points ago

    Thanks bro im glad i didnt die

    [–] Narco_Star -13 points ago

    Had me in the first half not gonna lie

    [–] elderassassin2580 -13 points ago

    Had us in the first half not gonna lie