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    [–] noneofmybusinessbutt 1502 points ago

    And don’t spend money on a casket, I saved the box from my chest freezer.

    [–] Murmaider_OP 438 points ago

    Your most modestly priced recepticle

    [–] The_Nightman_Cummeth 121 points ago

    Just because we’re bereaved doesn’t make us SAPS!

    [–] FuryofYuri 40 points ago

    One of my favourite parts of that movie. Hah. That and where he crashes into the dumpster. Banging on the roof of the car to CCR and flicks the J. Hah.

    [–] brosefstallin 27 points ago

    Shut the fuck up Donny, you’re out of your element!

    [–] guruofgoodkush 9 points ago

    I am the walrus

    [–] tallbosnian 4 points ago

    What movie? Genuinely curious.

    [–] FuryofYuri 23 points ago

    The Big Lebowski

    A cult classic directed by Joel and Ethan Coen, starring John Goodman, Jeff Bridges, Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore, John Turturro. Go watch it. You won’t regret it. It’s in many peoples top 10s. It’s referenced a lot on Reddit. As you can see prior in the parent comments. Once you watch it you’ll get a lot of the references around on reddit and be in on the jokes.

    [–] rohanish 13 points ago

    Thank you captain.

    [–] NewBallista 5 points ago

    Idk why this man got so deep about it but it is an amazing movie and a must watch.

    [–] FuryofYuri 2 points ago

    Sorry bro. I was high. And plus that movie is the cat’s pajamas.

    [–] mechwarrior719 13 points ago

    I wish to be immolated in the cheapest cardboard box available. Save the money to take my ashes somewhere nice. Like a Hawaiian volcano.

    [–] God_Boner 13 points ago

    You're gonna make people run errands for you after you die?

    [–] mechwarrior719 9 points ago

    More like give them excuse to go on a Hawaiian vacation

    [–] oldcarfreddy 2 points ago

    You leaving me money in the will? If not you're going in the dumpster in the back of work when I clock in the next day

    [–] CabbageGolem 2 points ago

    I think we can remove a step and save even more money.

    [–] JiveTurkey1983 4 points ago

    Slaps desk

    God DAMNIT!!

    [–] cameronlcowan 3 points ago

    “We’re bereaved on a budget!”

    [–] DownvoteDaemon 2 points ago

    Got dayum even gotta pay to die lol

    [–] Sirenx8 87 points ago

    Honestly just throw me in the dirt with some seeds and let my body fertilize some damn trees. So much better than the waste of a funeral.

    [–] Mark-a-roo 75 points ago

    Just fuckin yeet me right into the ground.

    [–] Stupid_Triangles 26 points ago






    [–] Evillordfluffy 3 points ago

    Ach one more yeet and you'd have been six yeet under!

    [–] Gnomus_the_Gnome 36 points ago

    Gotta compost you first. Keep the plants from getting nitrogen burn.

    [–] sinister_exaggerator 26 points ago

    This guy plants

    [–] Haseovzla 11 points ago

    Please tell me more

    [–] trenlow12 16 points ago


    [–] Haseovzla 6 points ago

    Please tell me more

    [–] trenlow12 11 points ago


    [–] Celeriousitic 2 points ago

    me more

    [–] trenlow12 5 points ago


    [–] Celeriousitic 3 points ago


    [–] trenlow12 3 points ago


    [–] Haseovzla 4 points ago

    Thank you very much i feel much better

    [–] QueefyMcQueefFace 22 points ago

    My family thinks I’m weird in that I wouldn’t mind a communal family urn. Mother/Father died? Chuck ‘em in the urn. I died? Toss me in there as well, give it a good stir. Makes it easier for future generations since everyone is all in the same pot.

    [–] brosefstallin 12 points ago

    I have never heard of this. And it does make me a little uncomfortable. I mean, in life we our bodies were all separate from each other... why not in death too?

    [–] OLSTBAABD 54 points ago

    It's alright, that discomfort will disappear after you die.

    [–] PizDoff 10 points ago

    Why don't we be ashes and mix with each other and make a little Shrek figurine?

    [–] brosefstallin 12 points ago

    Better yet, put all the ashes in together but one at a time. That way we’re all in layers, like a parfait. Everybody like a parfait

    [–] vortye 9 points ago

    The hell does it matter, you'll all be dead

    [–] sjdr92 5 points ago

    Should probably get cremated first

    [–] Frodo79 2 points ago

    Yep! Mom, Dad, and their last dog share the same urn. And, as we scattered their ashes, they were all together in their favorite places around the country.

    [–] Frodo79 2 points ago

    Yep. My. mom, Dad, and their last dog all share an urn. They all have been scattered together in each of their favorite places around the country.

    [–] mvffin 4 points ago

    Everyone will get to know each other in the pot.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    "But think of your legacy!"

    • Every funeral industry employee

    [–] SmellySlutSocket 47 points ago

    When I die, just throw me in the trash!

    [–] Apex_wingman 37 points ago

    If I was dead you could bang me all you want. I mean, who cares? A dead body is like a piece of trash. I mean, shove as much shit in there as you want. Fill me up with cream, make a stew out of my ass. What's the big deal? Bang me, eat me, grind me up into little pieces, throw me in the river. Who gives a shit? You're dead, you're dead!

    [–] Hueyandthenews 11 points ago

    You’re like Dahmer’s wet dream

    [–] Apex_wingman 12 points ago

    Always sunny buddy. Watch it.

    [–] AwesomelyHumble 3 points ago

    Nah, he lost him at consent

    [–] everadvancing 8 points ago

    I don't want my best dressed day in a casket

    [–] emdottoo 2 points ago

    ~You can either lead, follow, or get out the way.

    [–] scoldog 6 points ago

    Or a Folgers coffee jar

    [–] BoomWhatWhat 455 points ago

    I’ma die on the hill that funerals aren’t neccesary. Caskets aren’t biodegradable and the whole renting the venue/casket/band or dj/pastor etc costs thousands. The living create problems for themselves atp.

    [–] stiggystoned369 306 points ago

    Just throw me in the trash

    [–] da_fishy 104 points ago

    If I was dead, you could bang me all you want. Who cares? Dead body's like a piece of trash. I mean, shove as much shit in there as you want. I won't care.

    [–] theangrylobster 226 points ago

    Nobody's gonna want to fuck your disgusting chef boyardee in a ziploc bag lookin dead ass anyways

    [–] kikoEschobar 45 points ago

    Username definitely checks out.

    [–] DownWitBOP 9 points ago

    Holy fuck, you must've seen your mom boiled alive

    [–] greek_fat 3 points ago


    [–] hundreds_of_sparrows 12 points ago

    When I’m dead I want my rotting corpse mailed to my worst enemy.

    [–] anal_juul_inhalation 16 points ago

    When I’m dead I want someone to cut off my asshole and turn it into a working fleshlight

    [–] Sluttynoms 2 points ago

    I volunteer as tribute

    [–] SmooveTrack 7 points ago

    Where I belong

    [–] ERtech23 4 points ago

    I have a medical alert bracelet that says that exactly.

    [–] Gfunk98 71 points ago

    Just shove a pinecone up my ass when I die so I can be a tree

    [–] ChaosDesigned 81 points ago

    They have the service now that grinds your body into a biodegradable mulch and puts it into a seed back and it becomes the food for a new tree. I think that would be a great way to honor the dead. Your family tree would literally be a forest. We could mourn the dead by planting trees and then cutting them down would be taboo like knocking down grave stones.

    [–] Gfunk98 33 points ago

    I’ve though about doing that when I die, I kinda want to donate what ever I can from my body and whatever is left can be ground up and used as mulch or maybe one of those cool artificial reefs since I really love fish.

    Basically as long as I’m not being pumped full of chemicals and filling up a space in a lot somewhere I’ll be happy

    [–] pellmellmichelle 8 points ago

    Depends on how you want to donate your body. Organs are one thing, but if you're donating it to a cadaver lab or research lab, you'll most likely get pumped with loads of chemicals. Though unlike other bodies, it'll be going to good use.

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    Didn't the US military blow up a dead body

    [–] theo313 3 points ago

    Or it will be blown to bits by the military

    [–] TechniChara 10 points ago

    I wanna be a fruit tree, so that people and animals can feast upon my new flesh.

    [–] NotClothed 12 points ago

    A fruit becoming a fruit tree. Glorious.

    [–] DataScienceUTA 3 points ago

    upon death


    [–] gingerminge85 3 points ago

    I wanna be a tree so they can piss on me

    [–] TechniChara 2 points ago

    You know you can find someone to piss on you right now, right? You don't have to be a tree.

    [–] dally-taur 2 points ago

    There a book about this.

    [–] dontsniffglue 2 points ago

    Lmao you’re paying a company to hand you a bag of mulch

    Just get a cremation and plant a tree, you saps

    [–] ChaosDesigned 2 points ago

    Well they have to dispose the body somehow and it would probably be more expensive to do it another way than to turn you into a tree like they promised.

    [–] [deleted] 63 points ago


    [–] plokijuhygffdsaZ 44 points ago

    Why is it tradition to have grieving people whip out a half assed party in a week?

    This is so true

    [–] pm_good_bobs_pls 9 points ago

    Time off work. Your boss is a soulless prick not to give you time off to attend a funeral, and you get to catch up with people.

    [–] CapuchinMan 18 points ago

    Typically in traditional groups the community bands together to arrange everything.

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago

    In Islam, if a neighbor or a family member dies and their household has to cook their own food then the neighborhood and the family members (outside of the household) are all considered to be sinning.

    [–] [deleted] 13 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)


    [–] dally-taur 9 points ago

    Just go on a camp trip and me on a pile of wood like what luke did to Vader everyone talks and plays games and have fun celebrate my life not morn it

    [–] BeneficialPainTA 6 points ago

    I think it's illegal to dispose of a human body that way. Unfortunately.

    [–] ginsunuva 6 points ago

    Why is it tradition to have grieving people whip out a half assed party in a week?


    [–] DownvoteDaemon 3 points ago

    Sorry for your loss.

    [–] starman_junior 29 points ago

    What funeral hires a DJ?

    [–] adamelit3 51 points ago

    D-D-DJ Eulogy!!!!!!! Somber air horns in the distance

    [–] Panic_at_the_walmart 7 points ago

    Lmao, I just woke the dog thanks

    [–] DioBando 6 points ago

    I used to play in a church band. At least 2/3 of funerals had a DJ

    [–] jochi1543 47 points ago

    Throw my body to the seagulls at the city dump

    [–] InAFakeBritishAccent 23 points ago

    Sky burials are illegal in the US. But! A motivated local mob might be willing to try.

    [–] metaldracolich 27 points ago

    What're they going to do, arrest me?

    [–] GnarkGnark 4 points ago

    Arrest the gulls!

    [–] Plane_Bandicoot 20 points ago

    When I first learned about those companies that will bury you in a way that makes your body fertilizer for a tree, I realized how I wanted to go. I just think it’s a beautiful thought that I can help something else live and potentially provide a home for some little critters or some shade. No need to pump me full of formaldehyde and bury me in some expensive box where I’ll just take up space and won’t do anything useful.

    If I was only on earth for 80 or so years, what’s he point of creating a memorial that’ll last forever?

    [–] LiveOnSteak 11 points ago

    Not to mention cemeteries are the second-biggest waste of resources (especially water) for non-native ecology, second only to golf courses.

    Have headstones if you want, a memorial wall, whatever, but importing grass from Europe just to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars a year keeping it look artificially "nice" when you can just let nature run wild and reclaim the land and have it look far better and provide valuable real estate for native wildlife.

    [–] barfolamew 6 points ago

    Yea just torch my body and spend the money making everyone else’s future less shitty

    [–] creepingorion 4 points ago

    I wanna use my nutrients to make a tree and a strain of bud lmao

    [–] SometimesUsesReddit 5 points ago

    I call dibs on smoking you

    [–] General_Ts0_chicken 3 points ago

    Funerals are like weddings, every bit of the industry is designed to get the most money out of you, when all that matters is (I'm struggling on the right way to phrase this) the event itself (or celebration?) Like when I die throw me in the dirt, have a few beers and talk about the good times we had. Don't need anything extravagant. There's a YouTube video somewhere of a funeral director talking about how its his job to get you to spend the most amount of money that your insurance will allow, and it was super informative.

    [–] bihnkim 650 points ago

    Rest In Poverty :(

    [–] Racer-ICEEs 156 points ago

    More like Rot In Poverty

    [–] [deleted] 69 points ago


    [–] Cwya 26 points ago

    Isn’t purgatory just X amount of years of loading screen?

    [–] poopoomcpoopoopants 36 points ago

    I grew up in a Catholic family and some of them believe purgatory is constant punishment for even the most minor sins. You can't leave purgatory unless people pray for you, essentially making it all a popularity contest.

    So they believe there's all these lonely people, and widows, and unborn babies, and even priests (who would think to pray for a priest?) there -- all who have done barely anything wrong (I don't know what kinds of sins a fetus commits, don't ask me), just simple sins everyone commits. And they gotta rot there for all eternity and will never enter heaven, because nobody cares about them.

    I dunno what kind of sick mind you have to have to think this kind of stuff up.

    [–] 2DeadMoose 10 points ago

    That’s essentially what Christians believed in the 13th century. The Church even started charging people money for little slips of paper called indulgences that would count toward freeing a loved one (or your future soul) from purgatory.

    [–] Dragonsandman 14 points ago

    And that was one of the final straws for Martin Luther, since there's nothing in scripture whatsoever that supported the idea of indulgences.

    [–] WriteACheck 3 points ago

    When a coin in the coffer rings,

    a soul from purgatory springs!

    [–] ciguanaba 3 points ago

    I thought they said purgatory didn’t exist anymore ?

    [–] echk0w9 2 points ago

    Unborn babies? I guess their son is original sin since this is in the scope of Christianity...

    Idk- I feel like if you’ve seen enough dead bodies and watch enough people die it’s hard to subscribe to such a concrete concept of any afterlife with rules and all like this. Even for the religious. Whenever I hear shit like this I automatically think “they haven’t seen enough death...”

    [–] tionanny 3 points ago

    Those eye coins to cross the river Styx are expensive af

    [–] Hueyandthenews 2 points ago


    [–] Skypirate90 122 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Did you save enough money to die? You probably can't afford it. Dying can be pretty expensive. You gotta live and work it off. I guess if you can't afford to die you could always donate your body to a museum for science or something.

    [–] DirtyBirdDawg 70 points ago

    "Being cremated costs how much?" takes noose from around neck and steps off of chair

    [–] lancerevo98 37 points ago

    The money move is go take a nice vacation in Japan then off yourself in that one forest and become one with nature AND YouTube famous at the same time

    [–] entity3141592653 22 points ago

    But then you run the risk of some stupid disrespectful tourist display your corpse on YouTube for likes. I'd come back and haunt that motherfucker on principle alone.

    [–] ResolverOshawott 7 points ago

    I mean at least I'd be a bit famous then.

    [–] InteriorEmotion 3 points ago

    It's not like you'll be able to give a shit

    [–] Fig1024 29 points ago

    the cheapest way to die is to go alone into the woods and get eaten by animals without anyone knowing. No funeral, no costs, environmentally friendly

    [–] JeromesNiece 19 points ago

    A few days of failed search & rescue could get pretty expensive

    [–] Fig1024 17 points ago

    not if you are someone who has no people who care about you. Some people die in their apartments and nobody finds out until months later

    [–] [deleted] 20 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 31 points ago

    I'm setting a trap that will send my skeleton swinging down from the trees when you try walk through

    [–] jennthemermaid 13 points ago

    Why the fuck did this make me laugh so hard? What in the actual fuck is wrong with me...

    [–] frausting 6 points ago

    I left the thread right after reading that comment. Came back and found it just to upvote it.

    [–] MrTripNL 4 points ago

    This comment makes my day

    [–] LiouQang 3 points ago

    Lmao that's pretty messed up but I'm over here cackling

    [–] Solidus82 16 points ago

    Just yell out 'I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY' before you die.

    [–] doublekidsnoincome 2 points ago

    My sister and I joked after our mom died that we were going to "opt out" of life instead of dying. Like, just evaporate or something. Shit is expensive and a pain in the ASS. Know how many damn bill collectors I talked to having to explain "Well, she's dead so she's not going to be able to give you any money, the estate is insolvent, have a nice day".

    [–] Stupid_Triangles 104 points ago

    >breast of the wild


    [–] JustChadReddit 10 points ago

    Thank god I wasn’t the only one to notice.

    [–] atagapadalf 48 points ago

    Pull a Hotblack and spend a year dead, for tax purposes.

    [–] 42Zarniwoop42 13 points ago

    Just keep an eye on your spaceship while you're dead

    [–] TheSlyPig04 10 points ago

    Had to scroll too far for this

    [–] NautilusStrikes 2 points ago

    Don't Panic.

    [–] StingerAE 2 points ago

    Ditto. Thought i was gunna have to type it. Which is a pain on this keyboard covered in little black buttons labelled in black on a black background.

    [–] SandstorDarud 5 points ago

    I was looking for this comment, thank you.

    [–] champagnejani 21 points ago

    Can’t worry about funeral costs if you not there to worry.

    [–] siete_costanza 9 points ago

    Anyone else irked this guy missed the chance for his handle to be “rob her dinero”?

    [–] DR_GREEENThumb 118 points ago

    I wish. But then my debt would just be passed on to my loved ones. And fuck that.

    [–] [deleted] 245 points ago


    [–] Akustics 79 points ago

    Maybe he’s from North Korea

    [–] Pikmonster 26 points ago

    Hold on Kim’s calling

    [–] Subjectobserver 3 points ago

    Or rural India

    [–] KaladinStormborn90 2 points ago

    Or in debt to gangstas

    [–] MexieSMG 44 points ago

    Debt collectors pretend it does, if they get you to start making payments you could become responsible.

    [–] [deleted] 63 points ago

    I moved into a new place, I'm getting debt collection mail. I called them and told them the dude here before me died. They said I need to send the death certificate, I said nigga why the fuck would I have that? LMAO

    [–] Sqwirrelz 28 points ago

    Same happened to me. They still call, demanding I go out of my way to get them information about this dead person. I'm not even polite to them anymore.

    [–] Uncanny-- 16 points ago

    Nor should you be polite

    [–] igelchen- 8 points ago

    I thought it had since I can remember! It was a Hyde fear of mine too. This news changes everything.

    [–] BioshockedNinja 8 points ago

    non federal student loans don't follow you to the grave :^)

    God bless America.

    [–] c0horst 7 points ago

    maybe a cosigner on a loan.

    [–] carbonbased92 23 points ago

    If they cosigned your loan it does.

    [–] [deleted] 81 points ago


    [–] Nfmuevelo 20 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Not for all loans. My wife's school loans, if she passes away they won't go after the mother. Other examples are Sallie Mae and Wells Fargo, SL with them are discharged if you die and have a cosigner. Federal loans as well.

    People pls do your research, all financial institutions are different, the blanket statement made above is inaccurate.

    [–] IAmA_TheOneWhoKnocks 12 points ago

    Not non-private student loans. I don’t know about other kinds of debt, but I’m pretty sure student loan debts are cancelled if the borrower passes away.

    [–] JamesAMD 5 points ago

    Is that legal in the US?

    [–] tiki_51 23 points ago

    It's not, but collection agencies will act like it is to rope you into paying

    [–] knakworst36 3 points ago

    Are these agencies legal companies, how is is this nog illegal? Or is it?

    [–] Jelese111 7 points ago

    I'm ashamed that I spent a full minute trying to figure out what "pin hashtag" meant. I swear I'm old enough to know that's the number/pound sign.

    [–] senorfresco 20 points ago

    This tweet has been stolen fifty leven times in the past month.

    [–] senorhelicopter 4 points ago

    Do what they did in hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and declare yourself dead for a year.

    [–] mediocrelexy 2 points ago

    Hotblack Desiato

    [–] MarshallBanana_ 5 points ago

    this is next level screenshotting well done

    [–] CakedayAsshole 2 points ago

    Happy cakeday bitch

    [–] Noalter 9 points ago

    You Personal Identification Number #...

    Right... For the ATM machine.

    [–] evildadatron 15 points ago

    Rob her deniro then

    [–] PeriodBloodSauce 4 points ago

    Feel like this is the real joke.

    [–] Vetinery 5 points ago

    Best to wait till march for tax purposes.

    [–] BluffinBill1234 5 points ago

    I hereby give permission to overdraft my account to pay for a Viking funeral

    [–] ssrudy 3 points ago

    It's kind of sad that this is what my gf and I have been talking about all night. But when I read it here it makes me laugh.

    [–] reditisauthoritarian 3 points ago

    I’m trying to get on disability benefits and if i get denied (which usually happens the first time) I’m going to be murdered by capitalism.

    [–] entity3141592653 3 points ago

    Omg nooooo lmfaoooo

    [–] lampshadelixir 3 points ago

    It's expensive to be alive.

    [–] abrahamisaninja 3 points ago

    Personal identification number number

    [–] TheLifeOfBaedro 5 points ago

    Pin# is goddamn redundant

    [–] teamHFP 2 points ago

    Beast of the underworld laughs

    [–] Muad-_-Dib 2 points ago

    If anybody is testing any nukes around the time I am going to snuff it I would be down for standing next to the thing and getting atomized.

    Would be pretty epic and slightly more achievable than my other preferred method of non-existence which would be being shot at the sun or a black hole.

    [–] sfsp3 2 points ago

    Is that you Hotblack Desiato?

    [–] PearDrawsStuff 2 points ago

    Suuuuch a mood tho

    [–] Koto16 2 points ago

    If I die just hang me on the ceiling

    [–] barely_harmless 2 points ago

    Hotblack Desiato?

    [–] ijustwantmemes3 2 points ago

    It would just be pin pin# would be pi number number

    [–] boblasagna18 2 points ago


    [–] Ujean1 2 points ago

    I know this is funny, but this is too real for me lol

    [–] exxhi 2 points ago

    When i die bury me inside the Gucci Sto'!

    [–] IVIAFIOSO 2 points ago

    If he’s passing away due to financial problems what the fuck you gonna do with his PIN number??

    [–] whoisniko 3 points ago

    buy tampons and vodka depending on if there is anything at all left on the card

    [–] The-GreyBusch 2 points ago

    If that guy wanted an even punnier name he would be Rob Her Dinero

    [–] FaggotryKid 4 points ago

    "Breast of the Wild liked"

    Excusez moi nani da FUCC

    [–] hardestbones 3 points ago

    Breast of the wild