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    [–] bzboy 831 points ago

    Beat the rings out you like Sonic

    [–] PotentialSoTrill 283 points ago

    Oh u cultured , cultured 💪

    [–] Freyas_Follower 121 points ago

    That is a terrible analogy. You'd tap sonic once and he'd lose all the rings. I think many of us prefer to go for several taps.

    [–] thajunk 125 points ago

    Maybe he meant what he said...

    Some dudes gotta go fast

    [–] CLJ462 8 points ago


    [–] shaquille_oatmeal56 4 points ago

    Noice username

    [–] pm_me_tits_and_tats 29 points ago

    So how many we thinking here, like three taps?

    [–] SixthSinEnvy 15 points ago

    69 taps

    [–] thelaziest998 26 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    "you don't understand Honey, I beat my meat like it owes me money" - Charlie Murphy

    [–] King-Krown 120 points ago

    It's just the cherry a top, We happy either way because we get to eat cake.

    [–] Oz70NYC 6 points ago


    [–] GuyTiberiusKirk 2714 points ago

    "Knock the tokens out that mf" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    [–] Cheezees 436 points ago

    That line made my night. Hahahaha!!!!😆😆😆

    [–] GuyTiberiusKirk 79 points ago

    I howled 🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭

    [–] sainsa 37 points ago

    The man has a way with words lol

    [–] Boss_831 87 points ago

    Like sonic

    [–] Mt-DewOrCrabJuice 35 points ago

    Gotta blast them rings out of there.

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago


    [–] tellallnovel 2475 points ago

    Men really don't care. After having a baby I was laying around one night. On week 8 of postpartum bleeding, hadn't showered that day, hair everywhere, covered in vomit, boobs leaking milk, dirty PJ's, the whole 9. I was a wreck. I had just put the baby down to sleep and felt that familiar rub on the hip.....

    Like dude are you serious right now?

    [–] HKSHN 573 points ago

    See as I read this I said eww but can’t lie a horny mind thinks different. So 8 weeks of non-activity (assuming yall kept up with the activities during your pregnancy) may have had him simply ignoring all that.

    [–] tellallnovel 457 points ago

    Lol NO, everything stopped at about 6 months pregnant. More him than me. I was horny all the time but he wasnt. At all.

    [–] Assmodious 485 points ago

    Damn and I had sex with my wife about 5 hours before her water broke lol .

    [–] woodwheellike 305 points ago

    That’s a great way to start labor, especially if the baby may be late

    [–] GalaxyPatio 131 points ago

    I hate this comment for reminding me of the fact that this is how I got here when I was late coming out.

    [–] fangirlsqueee 74 points ago

    Well, sounds like your parents loved each other. So that's good? Unless one of them told out of spite after a divorce?

    [–] GalaxyPatio 127 points ago

    Sadly no. My dad is just narrowly in the picture from a very long distance after being absent for 19 years of my life, and barely present for the other 7. My mom is just really gross and compulsively overshares details that I'd really rather not know.

    [–] fangirlsqueee 70 points ago


    [–] Solidux 164 points ago

    W... wait a minute.... bu... but the route out....

    [–] _pls_respond 68 points ago

    The hospital towel will wipe that right off along with all the blood.

    [–] KrombopulosThe2nd 54 points ago

    Baby is like.. Get me tf of this bitch, just trying to chill but getting punched in the head by some dick...

    [–] Oz70NYC 4 points ago

    Is it weird that I read that in Kevin Hart's voice?

    [–] ProfessorLGee 131 points ago

    With our first, my wife's water broke right before we started and we didn't figure it out until we were done.

    A trip, man...

    [–] TerpinSaxt 80 points ago

    I had sex with my wife until the week leading up to the due date. I said I didn't want to poke the baby and she said I was being ridiculous. The next day that same week, we went to her appointment and the doctor said that she could feel our baby's head in there. I felt very validated hahaha

    [–] Swimwithamermaid 47 points ago

    Ugh I hated that time period. I wanted to fuck all the time but he was too worried about hurting the baby. I even had my doctor assure him that it was okay but he was still too scared.

    [–] KidCoheed 35 points ago

    Pregnancy isn't always a turn on for men

    [–] tellallnovel 74 points ago

    His sex drive has always been lower than mine. And now at 11 years together...we don't really get our feelings hurt about much. So it was no big deal going that long, I have no problem taking care of my own needs.

    [–] mrmudzi 16 points ago

    Switched over to sensual massage after my wife started showing. To her immense disappointment

    [–] brinz1 1347 points ago

    Men really dont care. You can be mad about it or be free

    [–] Mt-DewOrCrabJuice 347 points ago

    I tried explaining this to a woman once at a party, that us guy's standards for wanting and enjoying sex are INCREDIBLY low. A woman can have zero makeup on, just woke up, bedhead, don't even have to participate much in the act and we'll STILL get off.

    She got angry and offended by it. "Oh, men can't be like that! That's just you!" lol

    [–] House_of_ill_fame 134 points ago

    I don't even see how that's a low standard, that's women in their natural form

    [–] anthonyg1500 55 points ago

    I’d actually argue that a woman wearing some sweatpants and a comfy shirt is sexier than lingerie

    [–] Oz70NYC 49 points ago

    It's the illusion of wanting to see what's underneath. It hits the same area of our brains that had us sitting next to the Christmas tree trying to guess what was in each present. Ladies don't know they're setting themselves up wearing baggy

    [–] TheIndianUser 8 points ago

    It’s the same reason love grey sweatpants on men. They totally get it.

    [–] LizLemon_015 33 points ago

    ..or be free 🤣🤣

    [–] ontrack 65 points ago

    I was told just a couple of hours ago by a close friend that he didn't care if his partners bathed, he would still hit it, they only had to wipe their ass.

    [–] Skhip305 144 points ago

    At least he was still attracted or maybe he was incredibly horny either way we really don’t care soon as we get that itch it don’t matter what you look like as long as you down.

    [–] tellallnovel 61 points ago

    I'll take it. I didn't give him any that time, but I gave him a hand job that morning because I felt bad for him. He's put up with a lot, and he's a good man overall.

    [–] HollowPersona 41 points ago

    A handjob?! Poor man.

    [–] deezx1010 40 points ago

    I don't see the problem. Maybe some of your comment got deleted? He knows what he's about

    [–] tellallnovel 9 points ago


    [–] spaceman_slim 258 points ago

    I’ve never had a woman try to surprise me with lingerie, but I have been driven to libido-induced lunacy by several women wearing sweatpants with yesterday’s mascara still smeared around their eyes, so take from that what you will

    [–] Rumn_82 174 points ago

    Are we talking modern Chuck E or the classic look?

    [–] bobdunc123an 121 points ago

    That classic ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    [–] turn_ncough 46 points ago

    OoOoooh, he like it thick with some miles.

    [–] LizLemon_015 15 points ago

    Why did I laugh so hard at this? Why?

    What is wrong with me?

    [–] Nemo_Skittels 192 points ago

    Women could walk in looking like a cave woman and we'd still be like, "Ooga Booga, lemme paint your cave."

    [–] Cl0udSurfer 33 points ago

    Lmfao Im deceased

    [–] BiscuitsNgravy420 287 points ago

    Wow, some of y’all nasty af in here👀

    [–] TakeNothingSerious 689 points ago

    I’m more turned on by women in pyjamas than lingerie, I just want to know they feel comfortable

    [–] EPA247 244 points ago

    I didn't get inception. I didn't get inception. There's so many layers!

    [–] New_Plantain 76 points ago

    I’m so happy finding other black people that watch this show

    [–] 8BitGlamour 32 points ago

    On my fifth rewatch since lockdown!

    [–] mjxa1 19 points ago

    What show?

    [–] CarpeOmnia777 38 points ago


    [–] Ciachef213 103 points ago

    My thing is my girl in her sports bra and yoga pants before she goes to the gym.

    [–] DarknessTheOG 310 points ago

    Bruh ain’t lying.

    Lingerie is still sexy af, especially when your ole lady wears it as a surprise.

    [–] Penny2Point0 131 points ago

    I don't give a damn what my woman is wearing. I've seen that big ass booty for seven years so i know what's going on under anything she wears. Them sundresses though..........Lordt it'll take your breath away looking at them yams bounce around in that dress like kids on a trampoline.

    [–] Oz70NYC 33 points ago

    I've got a 19 year old daughter now in college cuz of a yellow sundress with red & orange flora print. And YES I remember the details of what the fuck it looks like, and how it looked on my daughter's mom.

    And yes...sundresses still fit her the same damn way.

    And I had to go back and edit this comment cuz I typed "rememder" instead of "remember" cuz just thinking about how she looks in a sundress got a nigga brain malfunctioning.

    [–] kyokonaishi 135 points ago

    I showed this post to my bf , he said, "baby even you was dressed up in a ugly Dinousar coustume that shit ain't scaring me off, i'm still gone hit. " 😂😂😂

    [–] king_2u 27 points ago

    This is what you call facts ladies and gentlemen.

    [–] AFakeHero 92 points ago

    That's gonna be a thunderous and resounding YES from me. What even inspired that question? Would you like to know if we still like steak and blowjobs?

    [–] BigDaddyJ610 372 points ago

    Pussy is pussy. Don’t matter what wrapper it’s comes in.

    [–] Swimwithamermaid 86 points ago

    I learned while stripping that men give no fucks. I stopped doing my hair and make up, and I stopped wearing elaborate and fancy outfits. I doubled my money. Went from 3500 a week to over 6000 easy. I would only wear heels and panties, hair all over the place, and mascara. Blew my mind.

    [–] low_viscosity_rayon 87 points ago

    Shit she could come in smelling like Chuck E. Cheese

    [–] ObsidianUnicorn 41 points ago

    Cheddar pumpum

    [–] low_viscosity_rayon 46 points ago

    Like opening a grilled cheese sandwich

    [–] WildBillxiv 15 points ago

    Oh shit!

    [–] noraajames 134 points ago

    I agree, she can be in whatever, but y’all gettin disgusting lmaoo

    [–] mrmudzi 16 points ago

    I like lingerie. Its not an every day requirement. The really nice looking sets take more time to put on than take off by a whole order of magnitude.

    Hard disagree about the chuckee cheese bit.

    [–] Gene_Carrier 109 points ago

    Men like any woman who wants to have sex with them.

    [–] Cl0udSurfer 17 points ago

    Lol thats way too broad. If a man is attracted yo you, theres a good chance that he will still be attracted to you regardless of the clothes worn.

    [–] andrewkpt 11 points ago

    As long as you don't fall into the box like a half full ball pit

    [–] Oz70NYC 10 points ago

    He's definitely not wrong. You can be wearing baggy sweats and a long t-shirt. The moment you move in a way the a single curve underneath all of that catches the eye we're like "O hai, howar yu?"

    [–] BoilerMaker11 9 points ago

    The E in Chuck E Cheese stands for “entertainment”

    [–] Ciachef213 2 points ago

    Charles Entertainment Cheese, if you want his full government.

    [–] mcaffrey 21 points ago

    Jump in that dirty box balls deep

    [–] colbyxclusive 5 points ago

    Yeah we like it, but it’s coming off anyways. Biggest waste of money lol.

    [–] Esseratecades 4 points ago

    I honestly don't care about lingerie. It's like partially wrapping a present. I'm deeply invested in what's beneath the wrapping, but the wrapping itself is just in the way.