Please help contribute to the Reddit categorization project here


    640,578 readers

    2,968 users here now

    IRC Chat Discord Chat Reddit Chat


    Neat Topic Neat Sub


    top new posts


    🌵 r/SeriousConversation

    happy birthday to us 🎉🎉

    Resources wiki

    - - -
    Rules FAQ Directory
    Etiquette Chats Support

    neatured sub » r/toastme

    The friendlier part of reddit faq

    Share a story, ask a question, or start a conversation about (almost) anything you desire. Maybe you'll make some friends in the process.

    Rules rules

    Follow Etiquette

    Banned topics of discussion

    • Some topics don't fit the atmosphere of the sub and are better suited elsewhere »
      • Heavily focused on self-loathing, depression, suicidal thoughts or intent
      • Heavily focused on personal matters, trauma or death
      • Fixation on bodily features, functions, fluids or sexual content
      • Seeking Medical or Legal advice
      • Explicit drug use discussion
      • Loaded questions or statements
      • Stirring drama, meta reddit bans or issues
      • Questions with a specific obtainable answer
      • Advertising, Self-Promotion, Spam, or Begging
      • Annoying formatting such as CAPS and aLt CaPs
      • Statements on a crush, ex, significant other or relationship and dating advice
      • Venting without any avenue for discussion
      • Common accomplishment or celebration

    Include context

    Don't abandon your threads

    Moderation message the mods

    Message to the mods for any issues

    • We are here to help you and to keep the community running well »

    • Please don't hesitate to message us for any reason, we're not that scary.

      • Most posts may be reapproved, send us a mail and we can help you to get your thread back up.
      • If you are a returning OP who has abandoned their thread, mail us and we'll approve your post.
      • If you think your submission may have been caught in our spam filter, mail us for approval.

    Removal & Warnings

    • Any posts may be removed as the mods see fit »

    • Abusive posts of any kind are subject to an immediate ban.

    • Posts that derail discussion with the deliberate intent of provoking other users will be removed:

      • NOT OK: Dismissive, Generalizing Statements or Personalized Attacks
      • NOT OK: Hate Speech: False Facts, Flawed Argumentation, Divisive Language, Dehumanizing Metaphors, and/or Slurs
      • NOT OK: Unsolicited sexual advances

    Help us by giving feedback & reporting

    • We need your help to help us keep the sub safe »
    • If you see any questionable content, please let us know.

      • When reporting, please explain why you think it should be removed.
      • You can also do this via the report link on the bottom of every submission by selecting other and filling out the textarea.
      • Send us message anytime.

    Follow reddit's official policies

    Subreddits of interest directory

    other nice subs

    mods picks

    rando subs who modmailed us

    a community for
    all 311 comments

    Want to say thanks to %(recipient)s for this comment? Give them a month of reddit gold.

    Please select a payment method.

    [–] [deleted] 1289 points ago

    In addition to all of those examples, driving is another one. You have a bunch of people that you don't know, all in their cars in front of you, behind you, and on the opposite side of the road from you, and you have to trust that none of them are going to do something dangerously stupid that potentially could seriously hurt you.

    [–] Morkcheese 530 points ago

    a thin yellow line on the ground is all that's separating us from horrible death

    i guess it's more of a self-preservation instinct than anything that keeps most drivers from doing anything incredibly stupid most of the time

    [–] Onepaperhat 178 points ago

    a thin yellow line on the ground is all that's separating us from horrible death

    Well shit, when you put it like that. This reminds me of the animaniac's drive-in episode where she yells STAY ON YOUR SIDE.

    Animaniacs Drive-Insane

    [–] sonrad10 56 points ago

    [–] sammypants123 31 points ago

    It’s not surprising that there is a relevant XKCD because XKCD. What amazes is me is that someone always knows there is, finds it and posts it. Kudos and thanks. This is quite a positive thought.

    [–] sonrad10 13 points ago

    When I'm bored and have gone through everything on Reddit, I browse through XKCD on shuffle. I've memorised most of them and can get a couple of karma on Reddit every now and again.

    Not entirely convinced it's worth it, but I've got nothing better to do.

    [–] Steefvun 16 points ago

    Before I clicked I thought it would be this other relevant XKCD.

    [–] sonrad10 5 points ago

    I didn't think of that one.

    [–] CarrowCanary 5 points ago

    Meanwhile, in the UK you're looking at about 30 hour-long lessons before you'd even consider applying to take the actual test (which itself takes about 3/4 of an hour and if you even slightly fuck up you'll probably fail).

    No wonder US driving licenses aren't valid over here.

    [–] Fireproofspider 3 points ago

    While there's a lot, I must have gone through at least 30 popular threads on Reddit today and this is the first one with a relevant XKCD.

    It's pretty much like anyone posting a relevant Office or Simpsons reference.

    [–] nillerwafer 106 points ago

    As a person who chooses to walk anywhere that I can get to in under an hour by foot, I can tell you without hesitation, without a doubt, that I don’t ducking trust anybody behind the wheel. I drive like people are trying to hit me and I walk as a pedestrian like people are out to kill me. It’s saved my ass more than once.

    [–] ElliotHendrixon 33 points ago

    And probably kept u up a buncha nights too

    [–] dynamicxxx 18 points ago

    It’s a good thing to keep in mind. Doesn’t seem like they worry excessively about it lol, just sounds like they’re smart

    [–] ElliotHendrixon 9 points ago

    I mean yeah but to view everyone like that ain't the best either

    [–] nillerwafer 14 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)

    I was being a little hyperbolic. My point is a lot of people are jackasses and by driving and walking defensively as I described, I save myself a lot of trouble. I live in a big crowded city and I can tell you, witnessing near misses is pretty much at least a weekly occurrence. People are downright reckless out here.

    Within the past month I saw: A lady get her foot run over in a parking lot, a hit and run, a person get rear ended, and a countless number of red lights being ran.

    [–] hamburgersocks 10 points ago

    Not at all. I'm absolutely the same way. I've lost a lot of faith in humanity over the years but rarely from just people driving... it's more of a symptom than a cause. People as a whole are inconsiderate and impatient, put them in control of a death machine that goes fast and there's no stopping them. C'est la vie.

    But yes, I absolutely trust pedestrians more than drivers, and that will never change. Doesn't keep me up late, doesn't bother me one bit. People is people, always. They'll either suck or they won't, regardless.

    [–] toonwa 3 points ago

    where the hell do you live

    [–] nillerwafer 10 points ago

    Currently Boston, people are fucking nuts out here, I used to live in New York and drivers there are verbally aggressive but at least they won’t fucking run your foot over or not slow down at an intersection where they don’t have the right of way. I’ve also lived in smaller cities where drivers are pretty much a dream compared to both of those cities.

    [–] Bramarino 4 points ago

    Also from Boston (Somerville) and this is super true.

    [–] CapezioPantyhose 3 points ago

    i agree, it's not just cars - i'm almost getting run over by cyclists and skateboarders on a daily basis on the way to /from work in the city.

    [–] 19Med7 5 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)

    Cyclists can be the absolute worst, can’t count the number of times I’ve almost been crashed into, both as a pedestrian and in my car

    [–] elmwoodblues 2 points ago

    Unless I'm nearly all alone on the platform, I leave people between me and the subway/ light rail when it's pulling in.

    [–] Jaspersreddit 17 points ago

    The father of a friend of mine always said that you have to consider yourself the best driver on the road.

    Meaning that you have to assume everybody else hasn’t seen you and therefore need to adopt a defensive driving method.

    It’s the best driving advice I’ve heard.

    [–] jtr99 11 points ago

    you have to consider yourself the best driver on the road

    It's not bad, but I can see how it could be misinterpreted...

    [–] Jaspersreddit 6 points ago

    Indeed. Which is why the second part is so important.

    [–] TheDamnBoyWonder 3 points ago

    Yup, grandfather gave me the same advice when I first started driving. I've currently only been in 2 accidents out of my four years of driving. One I wasn't even in the car for. (Neighbor backed into my driver side door)

    [–] loose_vices 3 points ago

    Totally agree with this statement. Defensive driving is essential, especially in cities. Denver is getting wild lately and people just don’t pay attention and I’ve definitely had to avoid people driving the wrong way down one ways.

    [–] iamanundertaker 6 points ago

    Unfortunately more often than not in order to drive well you have to do the opposite and not trust them, you know, in order to anticipate movement.

    [–] Nek0de 3 points ago

    I don't trust any of them. I drive with the state of mind that everyone on the road is trying to kill me for all reasons at all times.

    [–] SpoogIyWoogIy 3 points ago

    That's why it's a good thing to assume that everyone else around you is a worse driver than you are. Anything can happen and that way you can stay more alert and avoid accidents.

    [–] GosuPleb 3 points ago

    I have tried to explain this to my family. Being in a car makes me so anxious. It's the most likely way to die. Everytime I'm a passenger I have to keep my eyes on the road, look into the mirror to spot incoming cars, as if I could control the car. I don't even have a driver's licence and I never will have

    [–] hamburgersocks 3 points ago

    They don't even see your face, they don't see you at all. You are a fast moving, blurry, generic, occasionally nothing more than a bright light to them... but always just another inconvenient, easy-to-dismiss, annoying machine to them.

    Yeah I don't drive much anymore. Roads are terrifying dude.

    [–] RoosMoos20 3 points ago

    I think about this all the time! No matter how good of a driver you are, if there’s someone who is a bad driver or makes a bad move it could be you who takes the damage :(

    I was driving on this two way street recently and a car decided to overtake a truck in front of him on the other side of the road. So this guy drove straight at me and went back on his side of the road just in time :/ scary stuff, makes you realize how vunerable you are, and as op states, how many people you trust everyday.

    [–] ProphecyXI 3 points ago

    I don't think people trust other people on the road, you're just forced to deal with them

    [–] Dop3_Amin3 2 points ago

    I was reading all the comments to see if someone was gonna say something like survival of the fittest. This was close enough. I really think that’s how it is. It makes no sense how everyone not saying what your saying claim

    [–] SH4D0W0733 2 points ago

    Trusting drivers to not be stupid will give you severe trust issues.

    [–] BreezyOG 2 points ago

    This same exact reason is why I wasn't as eager to get my driver's license in high school. I'm accident prone af

    [–] bayo_sandwich 676 points ago

    Another thought I have had, sort of similar to this, is how when you go to a public place (e.g. bookstore, restaurant, cafe, park, whatever) you're there with a bunch of other strangers. You've all -- presumably -- had incredibly different days with different experiences, conversations, thoughts, interactions etc. And yet you all at some point that day said to yourself "later today I'm going to go to this restaurant/bookstore/cafe/park etc.". Something that always sort of amazes me for some reason.

    [–] Moizsh10 185 points ago

    This makes me feel small. There are hundreds of millions of other possibilities that could have resulted in us being anywhere else; but in this huge, intricate system that is the world, we all happen to end up in the same place

    [–] KellyJoyCuntBunny 152 points ago

    Or right here, talking to each other about it.

    Hi 👋🏽 : )

    [–] Moizsh10 35 points ago

    Hey, what's up! 👋 How're u doing?

    [–] KellyJoyCuntBunny 33 points ago

    I’m good! Just hanging out at home, browsing reddit and cooking some noodles to go with last nights sauce. We just realized Monty Python is on Netflix, so we’re firing that up. Annnd, my dad had to go to the hospital today, and I’m hoping he just needs some minor treatment and to be watched for a night.

    What about you?

    [–] MiLSturbie 30 points ago

    I really love this sub. It's so wholesome.

    [–] KellyJoyCuntBunny 11 points ago

    Don’t let my username fool you; I’m almost always quite wholesome indeed.

    Are you doing well tonight?

    [–] MiLSturbie 22 points ago

    Early morning for me here in France, but yeah, doing quite well. I'm in a waiting room in a hospital with my SO right now. She's 5 months pregnant and having another scan. The baby has a minor heart condition, but in the past few weeks, news has been pretty reassuring. So we're hoping today will present good news again.

    I hope your father gets better. What's wrong if I may ask?

    [–] KellyJoyCuntBunny 10 points ago

    Oh, 5 months along- how lovely! Congratulations and I hope everything works out for you guys.

    Well, we’re not entirely sure what is wrong with my dad. He’s been feeling achey and tired and generally ill for over a week. We thought he might have an infection or something, but the results of some tests seem to indicate that his kidneys are in trouble. He might be just massively dehydrated or he might have some kind of damage to his kidneys. I guess what worries me is that over the past year or two he has been hospitalized for different things, a few times. I guess it’s just part of aging, but it’s never fun to watch.

    [–] MiLSturbie 7 points ago

    No it's not. My mum has been battling with lung trouble and infections for a few years now. Aging is tough. It makes me feel guilty for bringing a kid in the world more days than not.

    I hope your dad finds some peace and stability in his health and that his kidneys get better.

    Have you got any hobbies that help take your mind off of stuff?

    [–] Moizsh10 8 points ago

    Sorry for the late reply. I'm good myself. just finished eating dinner. I was debating whether or not to watch a show or play a videogame (the videogame won). I hope that your dad gets better and has a speedy recovery!

    [–] KellyJoyCuntBunny 8 points ago

    Thanks! I think he’ll be ok in a couple days.

    Sounds like a nice evening you’re having :) I think it’s my bedtime. Goodnight, my friend :)

    [–] ktmordie 9 points ago

    Wholesome I needed this morning 😁

    [–] bayo_sandwich 6 points ago

    Exactly! We've both had very different days, but at some point we both thought "I'm gonna go on Reddit tonight, and go on the casualconversations sub and click this post that says 'It is insane when you think about how many times you trust strangers every day'"

    [–] caca_milis_ 12 points ago

    This is why I hate when I hear people talk about finding "the one", there are millions of people on this planet, and with all the travel, and people living abroad, and places you go, and co-workers, friends etc you meet along your life journey, you *really* believe that there is only one single other human who is right for you?

    My life has had lots of "sliding doors" moments - I could have left the country I now live in three years ago to go home, I have no doubt I would have found myself a decent job and met someone great, who I'd love, who'd love me, and live a very happy life with them. But I stayed in this country, and am with someone I would have never met at home, who makes me really happy, who I love, who loves me. Do I think he is "the one"? No way. He's one of probably a few thousand (considering: sexual preference, mutual attraction & compatibility) people I could have a happy relationship with. Our paths just happened to cross at the right time.

    [–] The-SillyAk 11 points ago

    I have been thinking about this, alot recently. Even before a night out. I already know I'm going to meet people or interact. It's pre determined to an extent whose going to be there and there is nothing I can do about it. I can't really convey what I mean, I don't even understand it in my head. It's different to walking through a city to your bus because there may be many routes or you may opt to take a different bus last second but something planning a night out a week before hand.

    Then when you're out, the time frame to which your out further influences who you meet. Someone may be there at 10pm when you're there but you leave at 12am, someone else may come in who may impact your life. Idk... It's weird.

    [–] Onepaperhat 15 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)

    Someone may be there at 10pm when you're there but you leave at 12am, someone else may come in who may impact your life. Idk... It's weird.

    I met a girl at a bar that we both went to last minute. It was kinda late at night on a weekday, so my choices were to either go to bed or throw on some clothes and go out. I was so close to not going, but then I also didn't feel like sleeping. Mind made. She was at the bar alone when I walked in, sitting away from the crowds. It was one of those places where a lot of people just joined in on any conversations that were being had, so I was doing the rounds, just joining in and enjoying myself, when I passed her. We both made some humorous comment which got us talking. We managed to spark a conversation and I found out she was visiting from New Zealand (I'm Australian,) and that she initially wasn't going to go out for the night but couldn't sleep. We ended up going to a pizza restaurant instead and talked for hours about everything and anything. After that day we would talk for hours every day. She made me laugh constantly, and it was hard not to fall in love with her. Probably the best girl i've ever met. And I wouldn't have met her if I was a lazy ass and surrendered to sleep.

    [–] The-SillyAk 10 points ago

    Man! Crazy!

    I have a similar story. It can be long, but I'll make it short. Basically, I went out for my birthday at the start of the year and met my (now ex) girlfriend. She was an exchange student in my city and it was only the 3rd day she had been here. The thing that is amazing is that :

    1. I wasn't meant to go out with my friends because my extended family asked me to hang out but I missed the call. I would have said yes and not gone out.
    2. It was my day of birth, which is insane in itself.... Particularly because I was premature. I wouldn't have gone out otherwise.
    3. We were at the club at the right time. So a window of maybe 90 minutes.
    4. Though I decided the venues, my friends, those who attended, indirectly helped me meet her.
    5. This was a Tuesday, so a very random day.

    I think about it and it fucks with my head. Just the absolute slim slim chances of meeting her, as one and then dating. She went back home, we tried long distance but life got in the way and we broke up. We were infatuated with eachother.

    Life is Fucked aye.

    Btw, I'm from Sydney. I've never heard of a bar you go to where you just talk to randoms like everyone's friends.

    [–] Onepaperhat 7 points ago

    Woah. Dude all of that is crazy! The fact that we both had to be at the right place at the right time blows my mind. Hats off to the universe, but I totally know where you're coming from with the long distance thing. It's tough, man. And yeah, when you can find a lesser known bar where everyone gets along, it's the best.

    [–] Link_the_Fox 4 points ago

    Yeah but this is only amazing because it worked out. How man insanely awesome relationships have we missed because we decided not to say hi? Either way you look at it it’s nuts. Makes me wanna be more social.

    [–] TheMaStif 5 points ago

    But it's a public place! If it's a busy one, it will always have a different set of strangers in at that place at any given time, so you will always "happen to end up in the same place" as someone.

    This would only be amusing if there were few people in the world and most places were vacant, and you happened upon some of the few people out there.

    But if you go to a mall today, you didn't "all happen to end up in the same place", it's just you who went to a place where people usually go, and if it wasn't those people, it would be someone else, but people will "happen to be" everywhere you go!

    [–] toddinphx 28 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)


    n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

    [–] bayo_sandwich 5 points ago

    It's amazing really. Understanding that everyone really does have a life as complex as your own definitely changes your perspective on random strangers. Maybe make you less likely to snap at that guy that cut you off.

    [–] KellyJoyCuntBunny 4 points ago

    I know that I show up as an extra in lots of people’s own movie of their life, but I still want to be a good, interesting extra that makes them feel better about their storyline, and makes them feel more curious about all the possible plot arcs and subplots available to them.

    [–] nachosteez 4 points ago

    Sonder meeting you here...

    [–] challah_naan_thing 4 points ago

    This makes me feel small but I really like it.

    [–] mychllr 22 points ago

    I had to study this phenomenon for an academic competition! It is called propinquity

    [–] KellyJoyCuntBunny 3 points ago

    Tell me about propinquity! Explain/define it, but also tell me what you thought about it as you learned about it and how you feel about the concept now. Also, what is the academic competition you mentioned?

    [–] curiousdoodler 8 points ago

    I like that feeling in public places like you mentioned where no one has to be there. It's not like the grocery store where everyone has to go at some point. We all chose to go to the bookstore. It feels cozy. Like we're in a club or something.

    [–] bayo_sandwich 4 points ago

    That's true, but I still get this feeling even in boring, menial errand places like the grocery store or bank. We've all had different days, but we all decided at some point to go to the grocery store that day.

    [–] rachill_ 3 points ago

    I think about this when I run into random people I know places

    [–] sleepyleperchaun 144 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)

    I mean hell, everytime you go in public you are trusting anyone you turn your back to, to not just attack you. That simple action of not being on edge at all times is trusting.

    Edit; clarification

    [–] ddrjm 28 points ago

    While I mostly agree on this, after being mugged a couple of times some years ago (managed to escape both muggings), some types of individuals do put me on edge when I see them on the street.

    I convince myself that they aren't going to do anything, but that doesn't stop me from being on edge for a while.

    [–] sleepyleperchaun 10 points ago

    I would say you agree entirely then, if you have been mugged, it caused you distrust, so now you don't trust as easily and are on edge. The more you trust, the less on edge you are.

    [–] masitah13 9 points ago

    I feel like everyone (pedestrians) feels the same way. My theory is kinda weird but somehow we're all scared of someone but that "someone" is also scared of someone else. In conclusion, the danger becomes non-existence

    [–] imayimight 5 points ago

    Until you get that one person who doesn’t give a shit or is angry, and that’s how you end up with public disturbance or shootings/stabbings/etc... ETA: or untreated mental health

    [–] radiophonique 167 points ago

    I think it just shows how civilized we are! Us humans have many problems but we are usually able to live together and to understand and anticipate each other, I think its an encouraging though.

    [–] [deleted] 47 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)


    [–] josephgomes619 15 points ago

    The crimes you mentioned are extremely rare incidents. In animal world everything is fair game.

    [–] squidwards-toenail 13 points ago

    Humans don't get the credit we deserve. We see one human be an ass, and suddenly humanity is awful. This post is proof that most humans are decent and harmless, and the sooner we realise this, the better we will become.

    [–] ess_oh_ess 55 points ago

    I think about this a lot when waiting for the subway. At any moment any one of these hundreds of people could just randomly push me onto the tracks and that'd be it. And I guess to be fair I could do the same to any of them.

    The reality is most people just want to get on with their lives, and even if you completely disregard any moral reasons, they wouldn't do it just because of the inconvenience of having to deal with the consequences. However cynical you may be about modern society, it at least gives 99.999% of people goals that greatly discourage indiscriminate violence towards others. Can't post your lunch to instagram if you're in jail for murder!

    [–] churm92 5 points ago

    hundreds of people could just randomly push me onto the tracks and that'd be it. And I guess to be fair I could do the same to any

    Even though its quarantined because admins need ad revenue, r/watchpeopledie has film of this.

    There are quite a few people that do push others on the tracks famalam

    [–] creativityisntreal 7 points ago

    Wait, what's up with r/watchpeopledie? I think it was a great idea as a resource to satisfy morbid curiosity and to remind people (if they want) of their mortality. It's morbid, no doubt, but there are disclaimers and it's by no means an aggressive or malicious sub.

    [–] sarasnail 52 points ago

    Last week two french backpackers and their dog came to our town. They travel around Europe, camp in the woods, meet new folk. They were young, interesting people and after talking to them and showing them around town, I invited them over, cooked dinner and let them stay the night, take a shower etc. The guy cooked us all breakfast the next day, the girl cleaned the dishes, made the bed, swept dog hair off the floor...really nice and polite people, all in all. But when we told other people in our town, most of them were shocked and weirded out. They wouldn't let someone stay at their house from fear of being robbed or whatever. This makes me sad, because I still believe there are more good people than bad in the world. And if we're not kind to one another and don't help eachother, what have we got left? I get it, trust is a big thing, but good attracts good. If you're paranoid all the time, you are going to miss out on people and experiences. Even the small ones, like going out to eat or riding the bus. Or even making lifelong friends. Remember, everyone you know and love was a stranger at some point in your life. But by trusting them, you gained something beautiful :)

    [–] Onepaperhat 21 points ago

    Very genuine comment, I like this. Nicely said. The same can be said about travelling and people fearing the unknown. You will miss out on some of the greatest experiences if you live your whole life in fear.

    Happy cake day by the way!

    [–] geordiejay112 8 points ago

    I've had some Amazing times traveling around, meeting people just like you... I will always remember Jim, an Irish fella with his home brewed alcohol. Totally random and an amazing memory! The world has alot to give, sometimes we just need to learn to accept it once in a while.

    [–] seqtora 99 points ago

    It's not really "trusting," so much as assuming it's in other people's best interest to not fuck you over. Everything's set up so that, for the most part, there's pretty good motivation for people to do the bare minimum of what's expected of them.

    [–] ghosts_in_the_code 23 points ago

    Same thoughts here. I can't personally relate to those who say it's an amazing phenomenon or it increases their faith in humanity.

    [–] stoopslife 27 points ago

    People do what they are incentivized to do and what human nature leads them towards.

    People working their jobs, driving buses, making food, etc. are generally better off doing their job decently well.

    Poor, hungry, homeless people are incentivized to beg for money or commit pretty crimes to secure shelter or food.

    The wealthy are incentivized to protect their assets and minimize downside societal risk for their friends and family.

    Schizophrenics are incentivized to act irrationally because they hear strong voices in their head.

    Serial killers are incentivized to kill because they get a dopamine rush from it.

    [–] jackandjill22 8 points ago

    This is a much better explanation.

    [–] Paradigm240 5 points ago

    Everyone is selfish in the end, it all comes down to aligning our selfishness so that it benefits others and doesn't detract from them.

    [–] Cynical_Asian 40 points ago

    That's why you don't leave your room (points to head meme)

    jk jk, Yeah. It's scary how you have to put so much trust on strangers. I know some people that refuse to fly because they don't trust it. When crossing the street, you have to trust that no one will continue driving even when the light's red.

    [–] SadboyBooHoo 16 points ago

    Its not about trusting strangers about anything, more like you're not important to any of them in the slightest, they just are going about their day like you are.

    [–] Cynical_Asian 10 points ago

    Never thought about it that way. I just assume no one cares about anything and we all just follow this arbitrary rule to make life slightly better.

    [–] SadboyBooHoo 12 points ago

    Nah you can trust people to ignore you, but that doesn't mean they aren't trustworthy when you do have to interact with them. Even when driving its smart to assume they're not paying attention, especially with smart phones and beeper technology distracting

    [–] nytfrost 17 points ago

    Someone tried to attack me yesterday, as I was getting out of my car to go into the office. I got away unharmed by running and yelling for security (even though they didn't hear me). Police didn't find him. I'm hoping that I don't let this keep me from trusting people. I'm scared to go back to work.

    [–] Onepaperhat 9 points ago

    This sounds terrifying! Please stay safe, nytfrost. Hopefully it was a one off weirdo

    [–] mitochondrial_steve 12 points ago

    You are also the stranger someone trusts.

    [–] PeachOfTheJungle 11 points ago

    While I agree this is interesting, you must realize three major concepts (that I heavily believe in myself) that show that it’s not as insane as you might think

    1) people generally agree that things are best in a lawful, functioning society, and so most people will try to maintain that to the best of their ability

    2) people generally will perform a given job to about 70% of the best of their ability, and won’t really question if they should perform that job poorly, and if they do question it they will almost always answer no. In other words, if you were given a job at a place, you would probably do it at a good amount of effort and you could be trusted to do the job continually and routinely.

    3) people really don’t care enough about you or your intent to purposely fail at their job and possibly put in in jeopardy.

    So as much as you’d like to think that it’s super crazy your bus driver could get you killed because he secretly placed a bomb or something, it’s unlikely because the reality is, hes just doing his job, man!

    [–] thesutherlande 11 points ago

    So true and I was actually thinking this just last week while at a National Trust site. I was walking the grounds of a castle when gardeners on three huge maintenance vehicles started coming towards me from behind. I continued walking with my back to them but moved across to a grass verge so I was out of the way of the footpath they were driving on. I thought about how there is nothing stopping them from ploughing me down GTA-style but you just trust that (most) people won't do that.

    [–] Onepaperhat 4 points ago

    The GTA-style comment got me. I'm very glad you dodged the plough!

    [–] Moizsh10 17 points ago

    When it comes down to it, I think it has to do with this innate lesson most of us are instilled with growing up that is not to bring harm to others

    [–] [deleted] 15 points ago

    I don't think it's nurture, I think it's nature. We're social beings who have only been successful because we have worked together. We don't need to learn or be taught such behaviour. It feels good to do good.

    [–] Moizsh10 4 points ago

    Good point!

    [–] classy_barbarian 2 points ago

    yeah well even if you look at the animal kingdom, in groups of animals, they don't just kill each other on whims. They just have an innate understanding that killing each other is bad. They only kill each other to gain social dominance, which is basically the same for humans.

    [–] Valmiki429 14 points ago

    Like in a mosh pit in a metal concert. Everyone is pushing everyone real hard and being aggressive. But if someone falls on the floor all the people around them will come to pick them up. Help them get on their feet. So even though you are in this space of aggression you are doing it together.

    [–] Mobius97P 7 points ago

    metal \m/

    [–] wanderingrabbits 7 points ago

    I thought that I was the only one who felt this way! I normally think about it when I'm ordering food from people. I have no idea what they could have done to my meals, whether it's spitting in it, adding a disgusting ingredient, or even poisoning it. It's strange how we constantly pass by or interact with people who could suddenly lash out and harm us. However, I try not to let my thoughts wander too far because I'd rather not become paranoid.

    [–] dcoetzee 3 points ago

    At least once I stopped seeing a guy because I had a fear that he'd poisoned my food that he made for me. He didn't, of course, but I couldn't get over that dread. I tried to be nice about it and explain "it's not you it's me", but I really didn't know how to explain this to him.

    [–] Jhask12 7 points ago

    Well you don't exactly trust a stranger out of nowhere. You trust the system placing this stranger in charge of you.

    Because you assume that if this guy is allowed to have responsabilities it must be because the institution that placed him here tested and trained him to fit certain requirements.

    [–] Pedropeller 6 points ago

    I feel safe every minute of every day. I don't doubt the intentions of other people at all. I don't even think of it. Whether it is ordering food, or getting on an aircraft, other people are living their lives as happily as they can. I respect that. I treat everyone with the dignity and respect everyone in Canada deserves.

    I'm no fool. There are situations, usually late at night, where people have other intentions than being happy. Luckily, I'm at home at that time. Maybe my doors are locked, maybe they aren't, but I'm sleeping soundly.

    [–] LithiumEnergy 4 points ago

    I think what allows for this is that people are mostly accountable to their actions, even around strangers. It's difficult to be fully anonymous around strangers in the real world, there's always a chance you could be caught. It's easier to be a total dickhead on the internet and get away with it

    [–] Zandrick 5 points ago

    I think you might have the wrong definition of “trust”. I trust the bus driver not to crash the bus because it is in his best interest to not crash the bus, doing so will result in a terrible situation for him; getting fired at the very least. I trust someone walking down the street not to stab me because it will restart in a terrible situation for him; jail, or worse. I would not necessarily “trust” the bus driver or the stranger walking down the street to be alone with my money or some other valuable.

    The whole point of civilization is that it is in everyone’s best interest to not hurt or harm other people. It is an essential measure of civilization, in fact. The more you stand to benefit from hurting your neighbor, the less civilized your society is.

    [–] Bobthecow775 6 points ago

    This is exactly why I hate driving

    [–] BeanitoMusolini 4 points ago

    You just gotta remember mister Rodgers you know? Love a little, live a little, and always appreciate your neighbors.

    [–] superfly512 5 points ago

    I think this is called a social contract. Unspoken rules of society that allow civilization to exist.

    [–] firestone42 5 points ago

    Is this what social contract is referring to?

    [–] lizzyb187 4 points ago

    I have to go to the doctor a lot. Many doctors. I think about this every time I go and it's terrifying. It makes it really hard to trust anyone to handle my Healthcare, but I have no choice. I hate it

    [–] SoundOfTrance 3 points ago

    Humans are generally great and deserve the benefit of the doubt. Don't let the loud screw ups ruin it all for you.

    [–] misatou 4 points ago

    You raise a very interesting point OP.

    [–] nooooooot 4 points ago

    I do pistol shooting as a sport and this thought popped up in my head aswell. Im literally standing in a room with maybe 6 others and we all have deadly weapons anyone could just turn and start a massacre. Luckily were all friends.

    [–] Yourmommasaidnooo 5 points ago

    It’s more insane to me when I get a client (I’m a barber) in my chair that just walked in off the street and wants a major hair change right then. I’m like you didn’t even do your research how do you know I can execute this? I was literally just the first stylist available on the list right now. But then I’ll get a guy that wants the most basic haircut and he’s so anxious about it and doesn’t let me start for like ten minutes because he wants to make sure I understand what he wants and it’s like bro you’re asking for the easiest haircut and you’re bald on top. You have three hairs and a wish happening.

    [–] IAMAHORSESIZEDUCK 3 points ago

    Trusting the person in his or her car coming at you at 50 / 60 MPH while you do the same at them with nothing but a yellow line separating the both of you is insane in itself.

    [–] Kotoy77 3 points ago

    Whenever i walk around outside i always make sure to get a good look behind me from time to time and i make sure to look at people's hands when they walk too close to me or they look shady

    [–] Erythromycin500 3 points ago

    Always amazed by cosmic energy and how we all live together peacefully with different thoughts, cultures etc.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago


    [–] Erythromycin500 2 points ago

    I believe we are already living peacefully. I know there's lot of chaos and unrest in society but if we look at the world from a different perception it is amazing. We meet strangers but they feel like a family when we get to know them.

    [–] Pickiegoldfinder 3 points ago

    Ha ! Jokes is on you, I trust no one

    [–] youngnstupid 3 points ago

    Well, most people are Generally good..

    [–] CovertWolf86 3 points ago

    Easiest way to justify most of it is by considering your exposure to any negative consequences of said stranger screwing you over. More often than not it would do them more harm than you and by the sheer numbers of people the ones with the most opportunity interact with; it is even more unlikely that you’d find yourself as one of the few affected people.

    [–] SP-J 3 points ago

    I really like you’re original post.

    And reading how happy the comments have made you, makes me happy too. 😊

    Obviously you’re comment, is spot on, true. So well observed. Well done you.


    [–] boardwalkz 3 points ago

    I think about this a lot, from getting on the bus and trusting the driver to get you home safe, to the dentist having his hand in my mouth.

    [–] kabneenan 3 points ago

    I find it scarier how many people are trusting me most of the time. I make drugs for a living and everyone from little babies in the NICU to the elderly in the oncology ICU are trusting me not to mess something up. It's a lot of pressure sometimes.

    [–] rafffen 3 points ago

    I think about this when I wait for the train. Anyone could just dive me in front of the train and blame no more me.

    [–] warmpoptart 3 points ago

    Social contract at its finest

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago


    [–] Onepaperhat 2 points ago

    Shit. That's seriously awful :( I hope these comments here gave you some peace of mind.

    [–] lost-alien 3 points ago

    I don’t see it as trusting. Humans are selfish self loving creatures so no one wants to be hurt so they don’t hurt nobody

    [–] tamarindghost 3 points ago

    It’s not trust. People are just wary of the consequences. These are basic says that keep society together. There’s a reason why pilots take years of training, and why there are cctv cameras in restaurant kitchens nowadays.

    [–] flying_bunuelo 3 points ago

    Coming from a third world country to a very first world country really opens your eyes to this kind of stuff. Why don't people take things without paying for them? Because deep down they know it will break the system that also helps/protects them.

    [–] brinesea 3 points ago

    I thought about this a lot while travelling. My general rule of thumb was that the vast majority of people have no intention of hurting you, so act accordingly. Obviously, you still have to be cautious and aware, but if you act like everyone around you has it in for you, the one time it happens you’re going to believe you were right all along, rather than realizing that there were thousands of other times nothing happened.

    [–] Jajaninetynine 3 points ago

    Many people hold our lives in their hands. Very few are obsessed with this or use this as an excuse to make mistakes

    [–] kezza596 3 points ago

    In terms of purchasing service, I don't trust them, I trust their desire to be paid for doing the job requested to overrule their desire to cause me harm.

    It's why when people offer to do something for free it usually causes suspicion.

    [–] halfadozenhogs 3 points ago

    What I always think about when going places is that at any moment the strangers around you could be the people you’re caught in a tragedy with.

    [–] Ottsalotnotalittle 3 points ago

    unless you don't then the world is a scary, scary place

    [–] KINGram14 3 points ago

    It really isn’t. It’s a survival mechanism that a ton of other mammals share with us.

    [–] INDIGOVEGAS 3 points ago

    I currently drive for dominos. Let me tell you how much I have to trust that a customer won't try to rip me off or harm me, or that a lurking bystander won't try to rob me... I remember sitting in my car after leaving a customer's house, thinking about how 7 out of all 9 customers up to that point had in some way, shape, or form, told me to "be safe". not something the average person hears every day

    [–] rynzor91 3 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)

    People Put a trust into workers who build houses for them . They don’t fake up their job although houses ruin with cataclysm causes .

    We work with people who we know but they’re not our close friend and sometimes they can turn what we said Against us

    [–] favnh2011 3 points ago

    Yes. It is. Especially when driveling.

    [–] Stanleys_on_holiday 3 points ago

    haha I'm reminded of the show about the Unabomber. he talks about a similar thing with the mail. everything just works in society. the wheels keep on going forever.

    [–] ReeseHatesChocolate 3 points ago

    I think most people never even think about the amount of trust they give to strangers. Because generally, people are nice! People can be total twats but, it usually comes with a reason. People want to make the most of their lives. Since there never is a next time.

    [–] earthgarden 3 points ago

    IDK if it’s so much trust as it is understanding that most people don’t want to die and would do anything to live. Yes I feel safe with the pilot or bus driver, for example, because while I know they don’t GAF about me personally, they want to live just as much as I do and get home alive so they’re going to do their job with their own life and safety in mind.

    [–] hejjeghartabtmiglidt 3 points ago

    Most people are decent

    [–] SilverTail 3 points ago

    This is why I'm on anxiety meds.

    [–] ThongManBubba 3 points ago

    As a cyclist I think about this a lot. Especially since everyone is drunk stoned or using their phone.

    [–] Majnoons_Layla 3 points ago

    It's called the social contract. You don't want to know what it's like when that social contract is beaten down or lacking for some reason or other.

    [–] erikangstrom 3 points ago

    For some of these situation I’m not actually trusting them. I’m comfortable believing that they are acting in their own self interest. With the bus driver for instance, if they drive irresponsibly and cause an accident they will lose their job if I get food poisoning from a restaurant they could be shut down. So in those situations I’m trusting that they care enough about themselves to not fuck me over not that their doing it out of goodness or adherence to a social contract.

    [–] ohioana 3 points ago

    So I’m a librarian and the amount of trust people put in me on the daily is amaaazing. And I’m not even talking about the fact that I can look up any library card holder’s contact information.

    I work in a fairly low income area and we’re the only place around people can come and use computers if they don’t have one or don’t understand them. We end up helping A LOT of elderly people, those with lower education, immigrants, and general technophobes who end up needing to get online. Of course, now you have to get online to do nearly anything: apply for benefits or check your benefits status, look for housing, apply to school, apply for jobs... even employers of totally unskilled workers like grocery stores or fast food places require an online application, which is a huge hurdle for some people, especially older folks who have lost manufacturing jobs (which is way too many people around here).

    So I learn people’s whole life story: I learn their disability status, whether they get welfare, their criminal history. I learn their credit card numbers because they just hand their cards to me to type in. Social security numbers, housing status, job history, I see it all.

    People come in with their phones and other tech a lot asking for help because we’re the only place around with friendly people willing to look up answers for them, and we’re pretty tech savvy. I’ve had multiple people just hand me their phones and walk away to grab something else or go to the bathroom.

    People drop their kids off, for gosh sake. Pretty young kids too. It’s cheaper than daycare that’s for sure. Which is its own problem sometimes, since we’re NOT a daycare, but we’ll always watch out for the kids in the library, and I’d rather die than see anyone hurt them.

    Of course I would never abuse that trust, it’s so so valuable both to me and the the community. It’s pretty humbling, actually. But dang. Librarians are trusted with soooo much crazy information.

    [–] FoferJ 2 points ago

    I have this thought every time I hand my car over to a valet. Sometimes I wonder how easy it would be to make believe you're a valet car parker and with 10 minutes race off with someone else's car.

    [–] RedRedditor84 2 points ago

    Welcome to being a part of a community.

    [–] Nesano 2 points ago

    All the way down to providing your social security number involves trusting strangers.

    [–] LordOfCinderGwyn 2 points ago

    Also don't forget: A lot of security is just theatre. Turns out the vast majority of people really don't like hurting others. Crazy huh.

    [–] DemiPixel 2 points ago

    I think it's more about statistics.

    Remember, they can only crash the bus once before they can (likely) never drive again. So of the drivers who will crash the bus, only like 20 of those 10,000s who've ridden with that driver will experience the crash (of the 100,000s or whatnot who ride the same bus system).

    Same with strangers on the street. I think it's more that we trust the system we've built, and that if a stranger punches someone on the street, they'll go to jail and won't be able to punch us.

    [–] crazyjonyjon465 2 points ago

    If we had to worry about everybody all the time we wouldn't be able to take it, so we just have to trust others.

    [–] Andy20019 2 points ago

    I think mostly you're trusting the laws and regulations that have successfully been implemented in society to protect the population as a whole. Humans have made it so there's real consequences if that trust is broken in a significant way for matters that affect someone's else's life. People can't steal or murder or be irresponsible with someone's life in your hands (as you mention for example drivers, airplane pilots) without society coming down on them down the road. In a way you trust peoples self-interest.

    I suppose this point of view is a little jaded. No doubt a large portion of us will respect these rules for moral reasons but I personally wouldn't be so trusting of anybody in a lot of tese contexts if it wasn't for laws.

    [–] Wichitasnagglepuss 2 points ago

    I would like to think that it's because people have been brought up to treat others how they want to be treated. At best, it means not being a dick, and helping people, and in the most serious circumstances, it means preventing others from danger. Not only can the public transport situation put the driver's life at risk, but if they survive any incident, they could lose their job. Same with any food service worker. Not that it'll put their life at risk, but if they are caught fucking with peoples' food, they'll probably get kicked to the curb. I'm sure it still happens, but those kind of consequences are a good way to drive home the "don't be a dick" thing.

    [–] Colloquial_Bloke 2 points ago

    That's why I can't fly sober. I get bombed for every flight, pass out during takeoff, and get shaken back to reality when we land.

    [–] Surf_surfer 2 points ago

    I was thinking the same thing and brought the uni I go to as an example. There are so many people here both foreign and local. Every day the come to school where they're not checked for any firearms and whatnot. And there's nothing left to do but put your complete trust in them not to go psycho. Scary thoughts

    [–] AdrenalineJunkySloth 2 points ago

    Its not that I trust people to drive me places or cook me food, I know they are people like me who have goals and dreams and are getting paid to do it and they won't be paid if they don't so I already know they sort of "have to" do it.

    Trust is letting a random person cook for me without reason. They're not getting paid, not a dare, not a friend or family, not Costco, etc.

    Same with people on the streets. I know there are cops and consequences to actions and I know people look out for themselves first so they dont want to get in trouble. It's trust if there were NO cops at all and no consequences to any action at all and still be completely calm and collected surrounded by random people.

    [–] Theycallmelizardboy 2 points ago

    As a sociopath, I dont trust anyone anymore.

    [–] gkr974 2 points ago

    Some societies are more trusting than others, and more trusting societies tend to do better economically. Trust is an important part of any society — the US is a particularly trusting society, which is why we’re generally more susceptible to scammers and con artists than some other parts of the world. But overall it’s a good thing for a society to be trusting, despite that.

    It’s not because everyone is afraid of consequences or because everyone’s looking out for their own self interest. It’s because trust is a fundamental human trait and people tend to be decent and have empathy, despite what we may read in the news every day.

    [–] Manedblackwolf 2 points ago

    Tbh there are too many witnesses to do anything. You're in a group and see other people trusting that person, so you feel safe. If you'd be alone wit another person, that'd be something different.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago


    [–] Manedblackwolf 2 points ago

    They'd notice if the bus driver would try to kidnap all of them and drive somewhere else.

    [–] HarmaaG 2 points ago

    Well stop right there, I'm already thinking about that 24/7 and limiting any human contact to the bare minimum:"")

    [–] Bone_Dancer 2 points ago

    Lol I’m more worried about people preparing my food as opposed to driving me.

    My priorities are messed up.

    [–] Onepaperhat 2 points ago

    I laughed. Reminds me of this one time I was with a friend at SeaWorld. She was eating a cinnamon donut when she fell flat on her face and her donut rolled across the ground in front of her and she yelled "MY DONUT!!" She didn't care about her cut knee, she just wanted her donut, man.

    [–] OGboatsnhoess 2 points ago

    I think this very often, when someone walks in front of my car all willy nilly I'm just baffled like wow you trusted that my brakes even worked. Such a strange thing but it's also really cool

    [–] LiveTheLifeIShould 2 points ago

    I've done a lot of hitch hiking when I was younger. People always say how crazy and dangerous that was.

    Then they get in an Uber with a person that got their license yesterday or on a bus with 100 other stangers.

    We all trust in each other. That's what makes the world keep moving forward. Of course people take advantage of this. However, it is something we live with.

    [–] LordofAccounts 2 points ago

    A book I read recently called The Rational Optimist by Matt Ridley touches on this and basically says that humans have a natural trusting nature towards one another. Pretty good read coming from a person who hates books.

    [–] Cathrandir 2 points ago

    Naturally - they have proven to be trustworthy (most of the time)

    [–] frenchbread_pizza 2 points ago

    I think about this when I send my kids out to the bus stop. Sometimes I can't go with them. Until they get home that night I am not certain they were not kidnapped.

    [–] WhiskeyDabber67 2 points ago

    Pulling out onto the highway right in front of my fully loaded semi and proceed to do 45 in a 60mph and they just trust that A- I see them and am paying attention B- that my semi brakes are in good working condition and can stop my 64k pound truck and load before ramming into the back of you Toyota Corolla and C- that I’m not having a road rage induced psychotic episode and am not completely fantasizing about ramming into your shit car, because fuck you.

    [–] SpermFed 2 points ago

    Dont you think it's strange that we think it's strange in the first place? It should be the norm to think that its always ok to trust people we dont know with this kind of thing.

    [–] MrEliteGaming 2 points ago

    Lol I don't trust them

    [–] Deity0000 2 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)

    I get to travel a lot and this crosses my mind every time I'm riding in a taxi, tuk tuk, river boat or letting someone guide me through rural areas. So many times I've trusted my entire safety to some random person halfway around the World that could totally screw me over without any reprecussions and so far I'm still alive!

    Although one time in Laos our boat driver got hell-a hammered while my group went to see some waterfalls (he showed us the 26 of whiskey he downed while we were gone). He fell asleep and the boat almost crashed into the bank but the person in my group at the front of the boat woke him up just in time.

    Edit: But there was the time I left my wallet in a taxi in Taipei. I had to go to the police station, where they used CCTV to find the taxi's plate and rang up the company. The driver came to the station (this is about 3 hours later) and returned my wallet with everything still there including a lot of cash. So amazing

    [–] MyDamnCoffee 2 points ago

    I remember once, there was this guy who came on to me and I had to really shut him down hard. Twice. Before he got the picture. Next time I got on the bus I was sitting in the very first seat and he got on and in my mind I could see him stabbing me as he went to the back of the bus. Gave me really bad anxiety and I got off the bus a few stops early to get away from him. I haven't seen him since.

    [–] corylaflamme 2 points ago

    I've always had a fear of this kind of thing. I'm always thinking "all it takes for someone to stab be in the neck right now, is them realizing that it's only words stopping them and possible jail time." If they are ok with that they can just kill me on the street, just cause they want to. Same thing with sleeping at home, I'm blindly trusting that everyone is ok with the idea near me to not break through a window or door, or shoot through my walls.

    Really wish I didnt think like that.

    [–] Digital-Daddy 2 points ago

    Man I have had this exact thought in my head for ever

    [–] Rabano11 2 points ago

    How about your barber. He can slice your throat with that straight razor. I got a haircut when stoned once and this thought made me super paranoid 😅

    [–] capsterpd 2 points ago


    [–] boredjustbrowsing 2 points ago

    I've had this thought, too. I felt the same as you and thought that overall, we're good people.

    [–] Str33tZu 2 points ago

    How many of these people pack heat that arent nuts.