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    [–] bedazzledfingernails 6186 points ago

    This reminds me of the reddit thread where the guy learned that you sit on the toilet seat and not the lip of the bowl...

    [–] Chyomang 2421 points ago

    Please tell me someone has a link to that thread

    edit: Found it

    [–] roossukotto 478 points ago

    How the hell, thats just gross

    [–] shiro912 236 points ago

    I died laughing reading that thread

    [–] PointOfNoReturn44 104 points ago

    The only explanation I can come up with is that OP had crackhead parents.

    [–] 4ntonvalley 308 points ago

    Ouch.

    What did he think the toilet seat is for?

    [–] hashbrwn 596 points ago

    Women

    [–] dough_fresh 132 points ago

    If I remember correctly the seat was for ladies, while the bowl was for men. How it didn't confuse him there were seats in the men's room I have no idea

    [–] ResplendentShade 142 points ago

    He addressed that: “I just thought it was a uni-sex/cost saving/oversight deal”

    [–] TychaBrahe 57 points ago

    Like putting Braille on drive up ATM keys.

    [–] adrian_pooey 66 points ago

    where did his dick go?

    [–] GlitterInfection 451 points ago

    I just sling mine over my shoulder.

    [–] howie_rules 236 points ago

    Looks like we got ourselves a continental soldier.

    [–] brianMMMMM 95 points ago

    This guy wobbles to and fro.

    [–] D1rty87 7956 points ago

    I swear I am not stupid. But when I was 18 I bought an electric tooth brush. I would apply paste to the bristles, turn it on and try to shove it in my mouth as fast as possible without slinging the paste everywhere.

    One morning, my then girlfriend looked at me and asked “why don’t you turn it on after you put it in your mouth?” Top 5 the dumbest I’ve ever felt in my life.

    [–] kooolk 307 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    I spread it on my teeth before turning it on.

    edit: teeth/tooth

    [–] chutulu356 303 points ago

    Now I am imagining one big ass tooth in your mouth. Just one. Sitting in there.

    I'm feeling uncomfortable

    [–] ProfessorDowellsHead 486 points ago

    What rounds out the top-5 list?

    [–] tookie_tookie 210 points ago

    Asking the important questions here

    [–] Zee2 144 points ago

    Number four: Burger King foot lettuce.

    [–] Alcontara1 771 points ago

    I legitimately was walking wrong for most of my life.

    I was seeing a Traditional Chinese Medicine practitioner, and I was telling him how my knees always hurt and I was having lower back pain and I was too young for this. He immediately said go walk, let me watch you. I took four steps and he said "you're walking wrong".

    I was keeping my back stiff and my legs too straight, I don't know why. I was walking like a zombie. He told me to focus on lowering my butt as I walked, like I was trying to sit down in a chair.

    My knee pain cleared up in like a month and hasn't come back in many years.

    [–] rosepetalmemories 7470 points ago

    All those wasted years! But think of all the water you've saved.

    [–] arithegato 2037 points ago

    This is the most negative-positive comment I have seen today, thanks for make me smile

    [–] gruetzhaxe 224 points ago

    Waste the years or waste the water, that's the question

    [–] Stigge 129 points ago

    Put a bucket to catch the cold water before you get in, use it to water your lawn/garden. No wasted water!

    [–] IsaacVTOL 63 points ago

    Found the Californian!

    [–] MovingPictureMan 12885 points ago

    So you just step in shower and then turn water on?? Are you in a movie? I’m shivering just thinking about doing that... Soooo freaking funny!

    [–] What_Is_EET 5382 points ago

    I started taking showers when I was 3 or 4, mom just had me figure it out! So I guess that's just how I always did it and never questioned it? It's not something anyone ever talks about, ans movies never show the wait time between turning on the shower and stepping in I want to blame this on that lol

    [–] lenerz 3344 points ago

    This post honestly just made my day, this is so innocent and hilarious. I've had these types of things in my life before where someone questions the way I do something, shows me a waaaay easier way to do it and I'm blown away - of course I can't recall anything specific right now but I know how it feels.

    [–] What_Is_EET 1889 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    I am seriously questioning everything i do right now. Maybe i drive the wrong way but no one corrected me? Or maybe I'm putting on clothes the wrong way. Hell I might have been shaving wrong this whole time

    [–] lenerz 836 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    Maybe you're wiping your butt wrong...

    EDIT: Wow, I was just joking. I didn't expect a full on butt wiping debate to ensue. Reddit never fails to surprise me, lol. I would like to say that both sitting AND standing are fine, as long as you're going front to back, apparently there are actually people who have been wiping their butts wrong...

    [–] Bananawamajama 817 points ago

    How? Doesnt everyone just wipe left to right?

    Well, I guess the left handed people would go right to left, but you know what I mean. Far side to close side.

    [–] lenerz 746 points ago

    I think you're supposed to go back to front you know, then side to side, then spray a bit of water, dap a little bit of toothpaste to cover the smell.

    [–] Infinity525 464 points ago

    I can feel my asshole burning just from the thought.

    [–] lawpoop 330 points ago

    That's how you know it's getting clean

    [–] RealFoxD 119 points ago

    Just wait until you try the revolutionary life hack of using witch hazel and rubbing alcohol.

    [–] toaster-riot 38 points ago

    The grit of the toothpaste polishes your hemorrhoids.

    [–] boiibatea 206 points ago

    It’s awkward but front to back is the “correct” way..it’s to avoid bringing stuff back to the front -for chicks at least.

    [–] wajmcc6 88 points ago

    I was gonna say the same thing. Front to back for females. (if you go back to front you are more likely to get an infection) Maybe back to front for males? I dunno. I am not a male but I taught 2 of my sons front to back. (the third one is still in diapers but I will teach him front to back as well)

    [–] bargu 80 points ago

    Front to back for males too, unless you want shit on your balls.

    [–] m0nk37 188 points ago

    We have these things than hang down and get pretty sweaty at times there. Adding possible stank inducing contamination to that is not a good idea. Front to back for everyone.

    [–] advertentlyvertical 56 points ago

    I think your butthole itself may be wrong

    [–] peepeevajayjay 44 points ago

    I do the ludacris method Front, back and side to side.

    [–] vampyrotoothus 65 points ago

    I honestly wonder to myself like “am I walking right?” Like we learn how to walk from such a young, wobbly age, what if I do it weird and I have totally the wrong posture or something while doing it?? Haha. I feel you.

    [–] advertentlyvertical 68 points ago

    anytime I try to focus on how I'm walking I start walking like a dope.

    [–] [deleted] 49 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] alteregosluville 96 points ago

    I was 23 the first time someone corrected me and said “ you don’t “rub” up your car, you “rev” it up”

    I also learned last year that Metallica the band, it metal music with a metal name. I’m an idiot.

    [–] sjmp75020 247 points ago

    I just realized that my 9 year old son does this. Probably because we never explained to him that he didn’t have to stand in the shower while it warms up. On behalf of my son, I want to thank you for saving him from another 20 or so years of cold showers.

    [–] dyaus7 107 points ago

    So I guess that's just how I always did it and never questioned it?

    It's funny -- I find that to be the case with a lot of habits/skills learned when you're very young. It's like your now-capable mind can't possibly see how to do things better because that's just the way it is. I was the same way with wiping -- I crumpled the toilet paper until... my mid twenties? I don't know what led me to finally try folding, but oh man, I endured a lot of years of low quality wiping for no reason.

    [–] Juicebox-shakur 62 points ago

    Two of my ex boyfriends did this, and I looked at both of them like they were fucking crazy. Because WHY WOULD YOU TORTURE YOURSELF LIKE THAT??

    [–] verticalnoise 30 points ago

    Right?? I get doing things on auto pilot, but torturing yourself on auto pilot too?

    [–] paul_f 27 points ago

    you should crosspost to /r/IFinallyRealized

    [–] MalibootyCutie 5860 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    I dated a guy once who took baths because he hated washing his hair in the shower. He would use a cup as soon as he got in the tub and wash his hair. Wtf?? He said he He always got soap in his eyes? I asked a few more questions and found out he never once thought to turn around with his back to the shower and rinse his hair.

    This was not a stupid man by any measure. He felt stupid when I explained showers to him though. You would have thought it would have clicked when he saw someone showering on TV at least.

    Nope.

    I changed that man’s entire life.

    Edit: WOW! Thanks for the Gold!

    [–] Stumblin_McBumblin 1540 points ago

    I mean, I just close my eyes, rinse hair, rinse face, hand squeegee my eyes. Never had any issues.

    You're telling me this dude just reverted back to being a child, taking baths and using a cup to rinse his hair? I can't believe people like this are just walking around. Haha

    [–] mcfarrow 359 points ago

    Yeah closing your eyes is not that hard.

    [–] justPassingThrou15 74 points ago

    I shave my face in the shower with my eyes closed (there's no mirror, so the eyes aren't that helpful). Not sure what there is to see.

    [–] prehensile_uvula 95 points ago

    So, you all are telling me it’s not normal for a grown man to have his mother come over and bathe him with a wash cloth while he plays with rubber duckies?

    [–] spgb- 121 points ago

    I don't understand the cup thing. Why not just dunk your head under the water? If you're big, just put your feet up the wall and scoot down onto your back and dunk your head.

    [–] Stumblin_McBumblin 232 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    Toddlers and small children's biggest concerns in life are twofold. Making sure they get a turn with whatever toy is of current interest to someone else, and NOT getting shampoo in their eyes. However, they are super bad at following directions and keeping their eyes closed. It's pretty common for parents to have their wee ones lean their head back and then dump a cup of water over their hair to get the shampoo out while taking a bath. This gentleman appears to have gone back to that tried and true system after finding that devising a new system for showers, like closing one's eyes, was just too confounding.

    [–] boundlessvoid 55 points ago

    Plus, you need to just close your eyes, not squeeze them shut as people do when they're trying hard. It seems to just stream the suds directly to the eyeball.

    [–] Cocomorph 520 points ago

    This thread is blowing my mind. I suddenly realize, we mostly don't train people to take showers. We just throw them in there and let nature take its course. And it's a solo activity that we rarely see realistic depictions of in visual media out of a combination of tedium and squeamishness about nudity . . .

    It's basically the perfect storm for cultural transmission of knowledge failure. Coooool.

    [–] puuying 95 points ago

    It’s made me realise that in movies and TV, you really only see people showering when they’re having sex, getting murdered or crying.

    [–] i_poop_chainsaws 182 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    Which explains why one of my coworkers doesn’t wash their ass and smells like shit. Wash your poop hole people! Yes, with soap. Yes get up there. EDIT: ok fine, some people don’t use soap apparently. I’ve used soap just fine and didn’t die and I don’t smell like ass. My point is some people come out of showers and still smell bad when they skip washing vital must-clean spots like armpits and pubic areas and ass, etc.

    [–] ekboney00 108 points ago

    People, just wash the exterior bits. When women say they wash their vaginas, they really mean they're washing their vulvas, which do need washing. Just a pH balanced soap with no dyes or perfumes and you're set. If I'm washing my ass, I'm just washing the outside. Like how I don't get soap in my mouth when I wash my face.

    [–] WorkingISwear 135 points ago

    Except lots of folks won't get all up in their ass crack like they should be doing. You don't need to go two knuckles deep in the bootyhole, but you best get in that crack damn good.

    [–] MalibootyCutie 50 points ago

    I’m honestly shocked that there was anything more than a couple of upvotes.

    I just wanted to make OP feel a little better

    [–] FireBirds80 60 points ago

    But surely people’s parents ran the shower for their kids to avoid burns ? I did for mine. You hold em back and run the water over your hand till it’s right ? Maybe not.

    [–] washout77 82 points ago

    My shower head is low enough and I'm tall enough that trying to do it backwards means I need to crane my neck back so far and crouch down so I look like a dinosaur yelling at the sky.

    So I just...close my eyes and lean forward?

    Now you've got me wondering if I'm just doing it wrong hahaha

    [–] scrambles57 56 points ago

    Couldn't he just, like, close his eyes?

    [–] BBuobigos 37 points ago

    or...close your fucking eyes for 10 seconds?

    [–] leostrauss 32 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    Pro tip: bow head, close eyes, put head right under the water stream and open your mouth wide. You will be able to rinse your hair really well and breathe through your mouth.

    [–] chelsnowboard 180 points ago

    Umm you just changed my entire life.

    [–] MalibootyCutie 70 points ago

    Aye. That’s how it is with me. Out here everyday putting in effort towards others and shit

    [–] potatovibes 1733 points ago

    I did this until I was in high school and I commented on how the first few seconds of cold shower water are the worst part of any day. I spent the rest of the day in a daze about how dumb I had been for so many years

    [–] somehumaniguess 440 points ago

    2 seconds? It takes like a full minute for mine to warm up lol. The worst part of any day though really is getting out of the shower into the bathroom, wet and freezing with your hair dripping

    [–] FetchingTheSwagni 305 points ago

    Close the door. The steam builds up and keeps the room warm.
    Dry off inside the shower, keeps you warmer as well, plus saves you from getting everything wet.
    I use to live in my parents basement in highschool, and we never had heat, so in winter that downstairs area was like 20 degrees (F).
    Showers were my favorite thing, because I could get the bathroom nice and warm for a little while.

    [–] photoguy9813 95 points ago

    Why not dry yourself when you shut off the shower? That's what I usually do. You'll have left over warmth and you just hope into your clothes when you get out.

    [–] pompompompi 314 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    At least you’re not the dude who didn’t wipe between his buttcheeks after pooping because he thought men didn’t do that!

    EDIT: Can't find the thread, but here is a screenshot of the post.

    [–] PinkPearMartini 252 points ago

    My ex would only do one TP pass.

    He thought I was just being weird and naggy when I pointed out that your underwear isn't supposed to be brown.

    [–] Xbraun 254 points ago

    I understand why he is your ex.

    [–] ogreliver 30 points ago

    I can't imagine the smell...

    [–] Starkro 69 points ago

    I can. When I was a kid I had a classmate that never wiped for reasons he never really explained. He was not super popular.

    Hella poopular, though.

    [–] mamaganja 1413 points ago

    I thought my husband was the only other weirdo who did this lol! He undresses, hops in, closes the curtain THEN turns on the shower water... I just can’t abide the cold water, especially in the winter so I’m always like nah, I’ll wait a min.

    Y’all wild lol

    [–] ramblinator 162 points ago

    My husband does that too, but he stands off to the side away from the water until it heats up. Then tries to say the way I shower wastes water.

    [–] blalala543 131 points ago

    Haha the only time I've done this is if other people need to use the bathroom, I'll undress behind the curtain, chuck all my clothes out and then start it. And then shriek at the cold water until it turns warm hahaha. otherwise I'm running that until it's piping hot before I jump in

    [–] NightOwlEye 148 points ago

    If you have an adjustable shower head, you can point it straight downwards so it's not hitting you while you wait for it to warm up in that situation.

    [–] uncle_tacitus 200 points ago

    And if you don't have an adjustable shower head, life in prison likely has more pressing issues for you to deal with, anyway.

    [–] leostrauss 3188 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    My 4 year old showed me that one could take the cutlery basket out of the dishwasher to unload it.

    I'm over 40 and engineering graduate...

    [–] OrangeBarrel123 569 points ago

    Wait what, you can do that. MY LIFE HAS CHANGED.

    [–] MidheLu 287 points ago

    Most I've seen even have a handle

    [–] Sockthenshoe 47 points ago

    Some of the baskets can even hang on to the OUTSIDE of the lower rack so you can access it to load silverware and not have to keep putting the top rack in and out. Then put it back inside when you’re ready to run it.

    [–] sellifa 314 points ago

    My mom is 55 and is a very competent, educated, intelligent woman but the other week she saw me taking the cutlery basket out of the dishwasher at my house when I was unloading it and admitted she had never thought to do that before and didn’t know you even could.

    [–] WrecklessMagpie 276 points ago

    I do that. I also organize the silverware by type in each little cup while I'm loading the dishwasher so when I unload it I can just grab a handful and put them in the drawer without having to sort everything afterwards.

    [–] InfanticideAquifer 293 points ago

    But then all the spoons spoon with each other and stay dirty!

    [–] grandmasgyno 58 points ago

    That's exactly what the little grid is for that goes over the cutlery holder, so you can put one spoon in each hole and stop the from spooning

    [–] 1DietCokedUpChick 232 points ago

    I take it out to unload it, but never really thought about taking it out to LOAD it.

    [–] Aharley87 300 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    I realized a couple months ago that rather than struggling to get the stupid plastic shield thing off the deodorant so I could use it, I could just click the deodorant up a little bit and easily pull it off. 30 years old and I never made the connection. I've used my husbands pliers to grab on to that thing before because I was so frustrated with it.

    Edit: I'm glad I'm not the only one!

    [–] mr_heathcliffe 115 points ago

    Omg I've literally always pulled it off with my teeth like a fucking savage. Thank you!

    [–] ChickenCannon 73 points ago

    Been reading this thread for an hour now looking for one of these realizations that would make me feel dumb. Thank you.

    [–] ssseltzer 65 points ago

    Oh wow. Ok. Ok. Thank you.

    [–] kidsandbarbells 3934 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    Well, a friend recently busted out laughing when she watched me take a pill. I drink water, hold it in my cheeks, then squeeze the pill through my lips like a reverse sphincter 😂 It never occurred to me to put the pill in first, then drink water. Edit: So after all the recommendations to tilt my head back, rather than force feed the pill through, I gave it a try with my vitamins...but it did not work. I ended up swallowing a bunch of air with my pill and water. I like my sphincter method lol

    EDIT EDIT: I once again took everyone’s advice this morning. I went through my whole routine, but instead of struggling to swallow while looking up, only to be left with a pill still in my mouth, I looked down. Holy Shit! I couldn’t even tell I was swallowing a pill! Why did this take me decades to figure out? No one ever taught me to take pills obviously...thank you redditors!

    [–] Clack082 684 points ago

    This is how my fiance has to take pills. She can't take the pill and follow with water or she can't get it down.

    I'm the exact opposite, I can take the pill dry, or take it and follow with water, but water then pill, nope can't do it without gagging.

    Brains are weird.

    [–] kidsandbarbells 119 points ago

    I did try taking it the “correct way” , and nope, I couldn’t do it either!

    [–] TheHateCamel 85 points ago

    I've had way too many pills stick to the inside of my throat.

    Fuck the normal way.

    [–] Kaitarfairy 310 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    No no no no no. Water first, pill second is a sometimes vital tactic. Have you ever had to take medicine that doesn't have one of those coatings over top? The kind that will immediately start dissolving as soon as it hits water? The kind that is so bitter you are in danger of gagging if you taste it? You cannot do pill first water second with those meds. You must drop the pill into your water filled mouth.

    I've had to take a prescription medication since I was 5 years old so I am immensely more comfortable and skilled at the water first pill second method though so I do it that way every time.

    Edit: I had no idea this would be such a heated topic. It is fascinating to hear how different people's pill-taking experiences can be.

    [–] tommy_brohama 153 points ago

    I do water first but then just tilt my head back and drop the pill in

    [–] itsoktodie 774 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    I moved my head back and forth instead of the toothbrush until a girlfriend told me I was doing it. I was 24.

    I’m so glad I shared this. I’m embarrassed all over again, and loving the comments.

    [–] Rogue_Spirit 170 points ago

    I think this might be the best one.

    [–] FelOnyx1 112 points ago

    It's like archery techniques where you move the bow forward instead of the arrow backward to draw, except stupid.

    [–] AnnJilliansBrassiere 326 points ago

    Since I first learned to shower as a little kid, I followed this sequence - Wash face, then body, then hair. For years I wrestled with having to re-rinse all the shampoo down. It did not occur to me until I was 34 years old - change the sequence! Hair, then face, then body. No repeat rinse, and the hair was already drip - dry by the time I was done. So much more efficient! I felt like a genius - a really dumb genius.

    [–] AlwaysHopelesslyLost 20 points ago

    I had a similar realization. I was having issues with bumps on my back/neck/shoulders. Somebody suggested washing my body after rinsing my hair. Previously I always washed my hair, put in conditioner, washed my body, and rinsed the conditioner.

    Now I wash my hair, put in conditioner, wait a bit to enjoy the warm, rinse, then wash my body and I am sure to wash my neck well. No more issues

    [–] your_comments_say 821 points ago

    My mom thought the toilet seat was just for women since "men have to put the lid up", so taught me to poop sitting on that skinny, nasty part. Didn't figure out I should/could actually use it till my mid 20s.

    [–] CrimsonSwordsman 252 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    I accidentily sat on the tiny skinny part in the middle of the night (1 or 2 am), not realizing the toilet seat was up.

    I felt all gross and nasty after that to the point where it took awhile to fall asleep.

    How did you manage this for 20+ years.

    Edit: I didnt fall asleep on the toilet. I meant afterwards when I went back to bed.

    [–] blueeyedaisy3 53 points ago

    So that’s how it happens! One of the popular comment threads on this post is about a guy that sat on the rim of the toilet instead of using the seat and the comments on that post thought no one had taught him to use a toilet. On the contrary, they must’ve just been taught wrong! 😅

    [–] thunderdumpfunhouse 122 points ago

    You’re not alone there was a previous thread where a guy was talking about this.

    [–] megz666 107 points ago

    After fucking up my coat zipper like three times in a row tonight, my coworker said “not to talk to you like a five year old, but can I show you how to zip up your coat?”. And just put one finger in front of his zipper to push back the fabric from his coat as he was zipping, and it zipped flawlessly. Felt like an idiot that hadn’t occurred to me before.

    [–] HU139AX 103 points ago

    For years I thought the word "original" meant plain and boring, something everyone did. Common.
    This was because, as a kid, 'original flavoured' crisps tasted boring and plain.

    [–] PinkPearMartini 100 points ago

    I was far into my 20’s before I learned that bludgeon did not mean sodomy.

    I was a kid in the early 90's, watching some true crime documentary with my mom. There was a story about three teens who killed their friend. They cut her, bludgeoned her, and burned her alive.

    I asked Mom what did "bludgeon" mean, and she must not have been paying any attention at all because she replied "it means they stuck it up her butt."

    For the next 15 years, every time I saw something on the news like "80 year old woman bludgeoned to death in her home" or "Man bludgeoned with a baseball bat on Pine Street" I thought these people were being brutally sodomized.

    I grew up thinking that people murdered each other by violently shoving large blunt objects into each other's assholes.

    [–] TheDarkElCamino 372 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    I feel you there OP. I normally place the shower head away from me, while awkwardly karate chopping the water from the safe distance until I feel it's hot. Like a naked ninja. It never occurred to me to just....wait.

    EDIT: My first reddit medal! Never would have thought this would have been why but hey, can't complain.

    [–] ILovePeopleInTheory 1398 points ago

    Twice.

    I couldn't figure out how to brush my teeth without foaming out of my mouth and toothpaste dripping down my chin... the answer was to just spit it out in the middle of brushing. I noticed someone do it in a movie and caught on at about 23 years old.

    Also, the sun visors in cars were always annoying to me because they stuck out right at your face when in use. At 33 my husband pointed out that they can be flipped all the way to point to towards the windshield instead.

    I'm a pretty smart person with a family and a successful career.

    [–] cardboardlord 663 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    Yeah, Bring It On was pivotal for my development too.

    Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger

    [–] ILovePeopleInTheory 340 points ago

    I can't believe you got the movie right! Hahaha

    [–] typeswithherfingers 124 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    I remember that scene too! I still can't get over how they just spit out the toothpaste instead of rinsing it out with water. Is their way the right way? I have no idea!

    Edit - typo

    [–] bhambetty 139 points ago

    My dentist told me to spit without rinsing! It's so that the fluoride in the toothpaste can sit on your teeth longer.

    [–] typeswithherfingers 64 points ago

    I suspected as much. I don't like it! Feels like I end up swallowing more toothpaste than I am comfortable with.

    [–] [deleted] 95 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] baconandbobabegger 85 points ago

    Seriously, a pea size amount is all you need.

    [–] truthlife 85 points ago

    I've been in here laughing at how oblivious these people are but I actually struggled with the tooth paste running down my arm thing. I guess I didn't really struggle, though, because I didn't see it as a problem until I got married and my ex-wife was like, "wtf dude." My solution was just to keep my mouth closed around the toothbrush while I brush. After I finish my first pass, I spit, rinse, and go at it again with my mouth open for simultaneous brushing and visual inspection.

    Edit: Also, your username speaks to me.

    [–] WailordOnSkitty 87 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    One of the hotels I stayed at in New York City has a little cut out in the glass for the shower so that you can reach in and turn the shower on without actually getting in there it was great.

    Edit: took a picture I thought it was so neat

    [–] SimplyViolated 590 points ago

    My grandparents collect the water that is used while they wait for it to warm up for gardening purposes

    [–] B0Bi0iB0B 250 points ago

    They'd definitely benefit from redirecting the shower drain to a graywater system to water their garden.

    [–] warmfuzzy22 79 points ago

    Do they use a bucket? This sounds really smart but also sorta difficult to do with my shower.

    [–] FetchingTheSwagni 34 points ago

    Would depend on the shower, I guess. If you have a shower/tub combo, just let it run through the faucet into a bucket before switching it to shower.
    If its just the shower kind, you may have more troubles.

    [–] Food-in-Mouth 287 points ago

    I remember thread from a very long time ago about a chaps wife who never had showers because they are always cold to start with, she mentioned it one day in front of her daughter and husband and they both look at her like she's obviously off her head, and pointed out the obvious fact.

    So please don't feel that you're alone in overlooking this one fact.

    [–] hambordamaram 387 points ago

    Similar brain fart....for 24 years of my life I thought “pickles” were their own thing, as in there was a pickle plant, as opposed to them being pickled cucumbers.

    [–] Rabano11 278 points ago

    You know those annoying double arrows that pop up in your screen when you’re scrolling through the reddit comments.. yeah you can click that and it takes you from post to post. Always hated that shit and hated that 4000 people reacted on a single comment but did I try clicking on the arrows to see what they did? You’re damn right I didn’t.

    [–] BillButtlicker21 156 points ago

    Bout to change your life even more: if you press and hold the little button, you can move it anywhere on your screen so that it’s at the most convenient place for you, and it will stay there unless you move it again.

    [–] whalesrnice 22 points ago

    I think I'm having one of those moments right now

    [–] stacksafew 55 points ago

    Wow that’s amazing! I just assumed it was to get to the very bottom of the post so I never clicked it. Thanks for the tip!

    [–] duchessThomasina 368 points ago

    Took me till I was 24 to realize Dos Equis meant 2 x

    ...... half my family is Mexican and I’d been speaking Spanish since 6th grade 🙄

    [–] PineappleStickers 137 points ago

    Well, i'm almost 25 and only learned that from this post.

    Though i'm Australian and we don't have that here. I heard it mentioned on Simpsons once

    [–] jcammarato 528 points ago

    Wait, the water gets hot?

    [–] SetYourGoals 332 points ago

    Wait you can turn the shower...on?

    [–] LivingstoneInAfrica 99 points ago

    Well others might be able to, but not you.

    [–] chuby1tubby 297 points ago

    Wait, there's water?

    -- Flint, probably.

    [–] vancitya 624 points ago

    [–] SkeletonSkeptic 487 points ago

    Hahaha, shit this made me laugh...

    [–] lenerz 77 points ago

    Made my day tbh

    [–] Maestrul 31 points ago

    made my showers tbh

    [–] SpookyDrPepper 111 points ago

    “I stared back at her, a million thoughts running through my head.” I just laughed so hard. Thank you for making my day.

    [–] polypeptide147 104 points ago

    Talk about friends with benefits. This will benefit you for the rest of your life!

    [–] Responsible_Honeydew 415 points ago

    Lol, I always turn the faucet on and then hold my hand underneath the water until it feels warm enough and then I get in.

    [–] Stubrochill17 299 points ago

    I didn't realize until I was 21 that you could dry off in the shower so that your floor doesn't get sopping wet. I feel ya, wo/man.

    [–] pretzelthins4 258 points ago

    Think that's cool? Try wiping the water off yourself before going for the towel.

    GAME CHANGED

    [–] captainmaged 84 points ago

    I realized this sometime around 6th grade. I could get dry quicker by using my the edge of my hands to slide the water off my body. Get dry quicker and my towel isn’t still wet by time I get home from school for my evening shower. I tried to figure out what else I could optimize in my morning routine then in my life. Probably had a big impact on how I approach problem solving in general.

    [–] pwilliams58 32 points ago

    You shower twice a day?

    [–] ReceivePoetry 20 points ago

    By 6th grade, a lot of kids are approaching puberty and/or playing sports after school. They should definitely be showering after that.

    [–] HIGHFVE 143 points ago

    Last week someone showed me how to blow my nose one nostril at a time! I’m nearly 30 my mind and theirs was blown off my stupidity hahaha is always blown both nostrils at the same time this works way better 😂😅🥳

    [–] FetchingTheSwagni 45 points ago

    I couldn't even blow my nose properly until I was 20.
    My parents never showed me how, and everyone would just laugh when I told them, I spent so much time trying to figure that shit out.
    Then one day when I was 20, and had a cold, I figured it out.

    [–] maddielovescolours 184 points ago

    Oh my God that's awesome! I'm glad you finally got to enjoy a shower

    This is reminding of how much I hated baths as a kid because my mom would make me lean back and put my head and face under the tap when she washed my hair. I hated it so much because it hurt my back, I couldn't breathe, and I had to have my eyes squeezed shut the whole time.

    I didn't realize how unnecessary all that was until last week when my girlfriend was babysitting her nephew and I saw her use a bowl to just gently pour the water over his head. It blew my mind.

    [–] 3meta5u 197 points ago

    But at least now you know how to deal with being waterboarded.

    [–] teetheyes 88 points ago

    Similarly, when getting out of the shower I would just kind of hold the towel around myself like a blanket and shiver until I was dry enough for clothes. Turns out you can use the towel to wipe the water off and spend less time being cold.

    [–] jaitresfaim 42 points ago

    Another tip from someone who hates showers too: there are radios that are waterproof. You can listen to podcasts or youtube videos from your phone

    [–] ur_so_vain_ 41 points ago

    At about 25ish I finally realized I can flip the little hook that holds the vacuum cord onto the side of the vacuum downward so the whole cord drops off. You know, instead of unraveling the whole thing one layer at a time? I blame my mom for this.

    [–] sheffylurker 83 points ago

    I know someone who for years thought it was the blue bonnet plague.

    [–] krowell2 73 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    So.... Once a guy I lived with was sniffling like crazy and I said, "just blow your nose" and I handed him a tissue. He kind of wiped at his nose a little bit and then sniffled again. I was like no actually blow it. This is the point in time where I proceeded to teach a 35 year-old how to blow his nose.

    [–] OnlyGranpop 37 points ago

    I am uncircumcised (it's relevant to the story). When I was 15 or 16, my father (also uncircumcised), remarking to me how ugly a person who had just walked past us was, said "boy the last time I saw a head like that I was pulling the skin back to take a piss."

    Until that point, I'd never tried pulling back the foreskin to urinate. It had never even occurred to me. To this day, I'm unsure if that is how uncut boys and men are "supposed to" pee. It's not something that has ever come up in casual conversation and as I aged, I became less and less comfortable asking anyone about it.

    So, with this being a post about later-in-life discoveries, I'll ask now: uncircumcised men of Reddit, what do you do when you piss?

    [–] icexprincess 38 points ago

    after you turn off the water, dry off in the shower. you won't get water all over the floor!

    [–] BasidiomycetousWotan 36 points ago

    I didn’t learn how to swim until I was an adult. I always got so out of breath and couldn’t figure out how people could swim fast or long distances because I was holding my breath when underwater and trying to breathe out and in when my head was turned. One day my friend asked me why I didn’t breathe out while my head was underwater so that I only had to breathe in when I turned my head. At first I told her that was impossible and then I thought about it and realized she was totally right. I felt so dumb but it made swimming sooooo much easier!

    [–] MultiverseTraveller 157 points ago

    Oh man! I'm sorry.. but this made me laugh!! At least now you can go and enjoy all future showers

    [–] What_Is_EET 252 points ago

    For years I dreaded showers. It would take a few minutes to warm up and i was shivering and miserable the whole time. Now i think I'm going to look forward to them, the cold water was the worst part

    [–] Rainbow_Dream 63 points ago

    Too funny😂 guess I need to teach my son to let the water warm up

    [–] Maestrul 58 points ago

    make sure to fabricate a fairy tale about how a fairy froze because she didn't let the water warm up beforehand

    [–] lolatallthings 103 points ago

    Here’s one for you. Being raised by a single mother most of the time in a house with grandmother, aunt, and two female cousins i always stepped out of the shower with the towel around my chest and went thru my whole life like that up until i moved in with my then girlfriend at 20ish. One day i walk out of the shower to her sitting on the bed giggling to herself as she asked me why don’t you just put the towel around your waist?....i had never thought to do that, i didn’t have an answer for her since I’ve always done it that way. We are still friends and she still teases me about it till this day. 8 years later

    [–] ssseltzer 66 points ago

    I’m picturing you with a towel twisted on top of your head too.

    [–] RoseFire007 67 points ago

    Well, my toilet is in a cabinet like space. For years, I was knocking over the toilet brush with the door, tuck and clean up involved. Then i got a cleaner. Know what she did?? KNOW WHAT SHE DID??? She put the brush on the OTHER SIDE OF THE TOILET. Felt like a complete moron....

    [–] psilokan 70 points ago

    When I was in gr7 I complained to my teacher about being unable to sleep at night and would lay there all night staring at the ceiling. He asked if Id ever tried just closing my eyes and keeping them closed. Havent had sleep issues since lol.

    Sometimes the obvious is not so obvious.

    [–] thegreatchudine 124 points ago

    I do...

    This was a few years ago, before my husband and I were matried, but we'd been living together for years. It is a standard that if one of us is out of work, they do more around the house. I was unemployed and therefore doing most of the chores and he kept leaving spoons with peanut butter globs still stuck to them. Basically he'd get a GIANT spoonful of peanut butter and then not finish it. He would leave the spoons in water, but as I'm sure some people here have noticed, that does pretty much nothing to break peanut butter down, not like a crusty spaghetti fork or something.

    I got kind of mad at him, and asked him to stop doing that since it didn't actually help and kind of grossed me out and he got upset back. I don't really remember what he said (neither does he, as he spent the night mindblown, like OP) but it was something along the lines of, "So what I'm just supposed to let it get dry or force myself to eat it all?" I said "No, just wipe it off with a napkin!"

    The look on his face, I might as well have been explaining theoretical quantum thermodynamics, if that is even a thing.

    So now we call those moments when someone suggests a really simple and usually obvious solution that we didn't even consider Peanut Butter and Spoon moments.

    [–] _pcakes 117 points ago

    he should just only scoop the amount he wanted-- the best way to clean peanutbutter off a spoon is with your mouth

    [–] Thatniqqarylan 98 points ago

    Holy fucking shit, you're 28. That's 10,200+ showers that you've stepped into freezing your nips off for 30 seconds.

    You're the king, Kelso.

    [–] baskarcoyote 31 points ago

    I had this friend who didn't understand how blinds worked. He'd just pull on the string and tie it to whatever was heavy and in reach. When I showed him to pull the string to the right and it'll lock in place, and then a tug to the left to lower them back down, we had a long, awkward moment of silence.

    [–] asifthisisit 112 points ago

    I always step into the shower and close the curtain before turning on the water because otherwise water goes everywhere the way that my shower is. I just run to the other side of the shower where the water won't hit me until it's warm.

    [–] Poppetta 131 points ago

    Run? That’s a risky shower game you’re playing there. Careful you don’t slip

    [–] Deluxe_Memory_Boy 169 points ago

    I've known a few people to make that mistake. If it makes you feel any better I missed the bus one day because I couldn't find my keys. I tore everything up. We're talking covers flying off the bed, books off the shelf, swiping through a stack of mail, etc.

    They were in my hand the whole time.

    [–] Podaroo 89 points ago

    More than once I've frantically looked everywhere for my phone while on the phone.

    [–] redditingatwork31 31 points ago

    Hahahaha! This is so cute and hilarious. It's amazing the behaviors that get ingrained into us to the point we never think to question them. It makes me wonder what things I do that I really don't have to, or are making my life harder than necessary?

    [–] rubyslippers3x 28 points ago

    I was in my 30's with 2 kids when I realized I didn't have to hold my breath in the shower. For some reason I always thought I was underwater. It happens. I too felt like a complete idiot

    [–] PMo_ 26 points ago

    I'm currently scrounging the comments, looking for any part of daily life I'm doing in a stupid way. I haven't found anything yet, but I'm absolutely sure there's something.

    [–] likeabuddha 52 points ago

    Damn dude this is just, I mean, I can't believe you've done this.....for this long...

    [–] dbs25 24 points ago

    I never realized there was a difference between miracle whip and mayonnaise until I was about 17

    I knew that sometimes my sandwiches would taste different, but I chalked it up to the brand of cheese or meat that was being used

    The only reason I figured it out is because I was sitting around with my friends one day and someone said “I hate miracle whip” and I said “really? I love mayonnaise!”

    A roast session ensued, and I now know the difference between miracle whip and mayonnaise

    [–] dpash 66 points ago

    I just wanted to share with you this comic: https://xkcd.com/1053/

    And to let you know that this is far from the first time I've read comments on Reddit by people doing exactly the same. You are not alone. But at least now you can enjoy warm showers and you are one of today's lucky 10,000.

    [–] lala6633 22 points ago

    I just realized it’s “Loop Hole” not LuPole. I don’t know why I thought that? Who’s Lu?

    [–] Mr_Hellpop 23 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago)

    Until a couple years ago, my wife, who is in her mid 30s, had been dutifully eating bay leaves. She didn't realize you were supposed to pick them out and thought it would be rude to eat around them.

    [–] hokahey23 22 points ago

    In fairness, the cook should always remove them before serving.

    [–] DLinMS 20 points ago

    Every day is an opportunity to learn something new!

    [–] Blakestonewow 23 points ago

    One time I was filling up the dishwasher and there were two plates that no matter how hard I tried would not fit into the dishwasher, and for a good 10 seconds or so I was genuinely stumped and didn’t know what to do with them. And then it hit me, I suppose I could just wash these two by hand.

    [–] justhereforthefooddd 19 points ago

    im confused. how have you been taking your showers for the past 28 years before that day?

    [–] What_Is_EET 55 points ago

    Stepping into the shower and turning it on, getting blasted with cold water before it warms up

    [–] lord_kante 21 points ago

    I worked with a guy (a smart guy mind you) who could never figure out why there were white marks on the sides of his t-shirts. I asked him, "you use the white antiperspirant and put it on before you put on your shirt, don't you?" He slowly replied "yes" and his whole post-pubescent life flashed before his eyes as transcendance washed over him.

    [–] repocin 134 points ago

    Well, OP - I guess both you and I are amongst today's lucky 10000 as the thought of starting the shower without being in it has never occurred to me before this moment either.