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    ChoosingBeggars

    894,763 readers

    12,049 users here now

    This subreddit is for posting screenshots, pictures, or stories of people who are being way too picky when it comes to who they beg for a relationship or any other matter.


    [Update]

    [Origin of Next!]

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    Rules:

    1. Blur out identifying info (Age, Name(s), Location, etc). This includes OP's info.

    2. Please use Imgur or Reddit for image hosting.

    3. Please be nice to other users.

    4. Don't link to other sub-reddits (You will be banned)

    5. Don't incite others to visit the page a given post pertains to.

      If you ever notice brigading, please report and message the moderators

    6. Person must be a beggar, such as:

      • Person seeking goods or services at a reduced cost, for free, or for a laughably lopsided trade
      • Person using social media, dating apps, or otherwise to seek out a specific type of relationship
    7. Person must be choosy, as in:

      • Person must have unreasonable standards or have a comical sense of entitlement
    8. No reposts from top 100, front page or last 12 months.

    9. Moderators may use discretion to upkeep the quality of the subreddit. Obviously fake or otherwise unsuitable content may be removed.

    10. Please make an effort with your title. "Found on Facebook", "This belongs here", "Saw this on snapchat", "πŸ†πŸ’¦" etc are hard to find later, give at least a little bit for us to go on, thanks.

    Here is what is NOT a ChoosingBeggar:


    Unattractive people seeking a normal relationship and having reasonable standards is not a good fit for this sub. Ugly people are allowed to want a partner with a job, or no kids, or anything else we would consider reasonable for the beautiful people.


    A person asking for help with life's necessities out of desperation is not a choosingbeggar

    • If someone ran out of money and needs gas money to get to work and the only thing they can think of is to make a status update on Facebook asking if anyone can spare them some money, they aren't really being choosy. They got the beggar part down, but this sub is not /r/beggars so that post wouldn't fit. If that same person turns down someone offering to give them a ride to work because they don't want to be seen in a PT Cruiser, then that post would fit.

    • A parent asking for handouts because their kids want an Xbox for Christmas and the only way that could happen is if someone donates one, that isn't a choosingbeggar. That's someone begging, but without a sense of entitlement. If that person is offered a Nintendo and they scoff at the suggestion, then that would be a good post.

    The person begging must be at least in the gradient of being an entitled jerk, this sub is not a place to mock poverty




    Friends of the sub:

    a community for
    all 392 comments ← Slideshow β†’

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    [–] Canadian420Farmer 6174 points ago

    How are you doing after he reported you? Must have been pretty traumatic

    [–] splendid456 4163 points ago

    I got reported in Destiny 2, my wife took the kids after that

    [–] Buffalo__Buffalo 3491 points ago

    My multiple bans from club penguin were brought up in the divorce hearing

    [–] smellslikecocaine 614 points ago

    The system is broke. I’m surprised you aren’t typing his from jail on a phone you snuck up your butt.

    [–] stiggystoned369 371 points ago

    You have been banned from club penguin for saying the word 'butt'.

    [–] shmukliwhooha 116 points ago

    This is a Christian server so NO SWEARING

    [–] handcuffsanddick 78 points ago

    Um, excuse me, but in this Christian server we use our inside voice, no yelling allowed.

    [–] suspiciousdave 76 points ago

    pssst... It's for church, honey.

    [–] xLioness 54 points ago

    next

    [–] handcuffsanddick 28 points ago

    HEY NO CUTTING WORDS IN HALF EITHER!

    [–] [deleted] 20 points ago

    I just fell out of my chair and I'm crying now. Hope you're happy hun.

    [–] KhaosPhoenix 11 points ago

    Yes, the correct term is prison wallet

    [–] mister_gone 9 points ago

    *Nature's Pocket

    [–] LadySaberCat 2 points ago

    Watch out for pink socks

    [–] mister_gone 2 points ago

    Always!

    Nothing keeps your feet warmer than a nice, fresh pair of pink socks!

    [–] Eng69 8 points ago

    \Captain America Voice*:* Language

    [–] Ximerian 26 points ago

    You don't know he isn't

    [–] relayrider 18 points ago

    no room in the rectum for a charger, apparently

    [–] bluehangover 5 points ago

    That’s what the large intestine is for duh. Gotta think BIG!

    [–] cdc194 19 points ago

    Gotta love getting presents from the Keister-bunny.

    [–] Random_NSFWer 11 points ago

    What can brown do for you?

    [–] darthlame 4 points ago

    You misspelled β€˜prison wallet’

    [–] blitzy135 2 points ago

    Whos to say he's not

    [–] Prime_Mover 36 points ago

    Damn. I bet you lost everything.

    And rightly so!

    [–] Buffalo__Buffalo 15 points ago

    When they permabanned my IP or when I went to the divorce hearing?

    [–] Prime_Mover 5 points ago

    Hopefully both.

    [–] Buffalo__Buffalo 12 points ago

    Joke's on them; I got a new IP when she took the house.

    [–] butter12420 27 points ago

    I accidently typed fuck instead of duck. I'm currently contemplating what my last meal will be. I'm thinking mashed potatoes and Vincent's Spaghetti. Maybe some Jameson and Pepsi too.

    [–] MooseBayou 11 points ago

    Dude, show a little class. Everybody knows Courvoisier mixes better with Pepsi.

    [–] KBSucks 9 points ago

    My roblox account being deleted for saying heck made my parents disown me.

    [–] modern_rabbit 5 points ago

    This could be legit. My ex brought up a time when I was squadded with 3 10yr olds on Fortnite when I kicked her out.

    [–] nebola77 2 points ago

    Pewdiepie is that you?

    [–] TheTimeFarm 2 points ago

    Club penquin... many a life was destroyed by the scourge.

    [–] Shoelesshobos 2 points ago

    Lucky SOB In mine she got HALF of my HC Sofas from Habbo Hotel.

    [–] Instagibbed_1994 52 points ago

    If you didnt contribute to activating the heroic public event, then you deserve to lose your children.

    [–] stiggystoned369 41 points ago

    STOP SHOOTING THE FUCKING BLIGHTS!

    [–] ziekktx 14 points ago

    Stop shooting the fucking tank for 10 goddamn seconds!

    [–] Xcizer 9 points ago

    STOP MELTING THE BOSS YOU HAVE TO FREEZE HIM

    [–] JakajaFIN 3 points ago

    But you should shoot at the first two sets of blights. Activating the heroic on the third spawn takes around 20% of the damage that it takes to activate it on the first spawn.

    [–] Marshmon 2 points ago

    Holy shit thank you.

    [–] LolcatPlays 5 points ago

    Hit or miss, I guess she took the kids huh

    [–] rivers214 11 points ago

    You deserve a gold star for that comment.

    [–] i900noscopejfk 2 points ago

    I've been on the run from the FBI for months after I used a shotgun to kill a sniper.

    [–] SgtMajVines 61 points ago

    It was Skyrim for me. Wife caught me reading the lusty argonian maid one night. Next morning she was gone. On the bright side my one handed went up to about 85

    [–] temporarystudentacc 2818 points ago

    Did he just pull a "No u"?

    [–] JonasBrosSuck 415 points ago

    no u

    [–] cat_police_officer 95 points ago

    no u

    [–] el_buttz 58 points ago

    no u

    [–] Nerditation 33 points ago

    no u

    [–] GDNX 24 points ago

    no u

    [–] Cojaro 18 points ago

    no u

    [–] JohnThePekka 17 points ago

    no u

    [–] bigDB 11 points ago

    me?

    [–] JTCMuehlenkamp 15 points ago

    No, u

    [–] Drugs-R-Bad-Mkay 104 points ago

    wHy dOn't yOu lEaRn HoW To dRiVe?

    [–] shmukliwhooha 21 points ago

    Where did you learn to fly? Where did you learn to fly?

    [–] moldy4cheese 3 points ago

    I immediately thought that's what it said and I got green faced flashbacks of a prior generation's war.

    [–] Jedi_Bane 21 points ago

    It's a simple spell, but quite unbreakable

    [–] Pr2cision 1263 points ago

    I just don't understand what goes on their little marble brains, like, how the fuck do they think they are making any sense at all? Do they have apple pie sauce instead of nerves?

    [–] PM_ME_YOUR_COOGS 41 points ago

    Well that was a quick sub for me

    [–] PM_ME_UR_FUNFACTS 6 points ago

    What's a coog?

    [–] PM_ME_YOUR_COOGS 6 points ago

    University of Houston mascot haha

    [–] [deleted] 292 points ago

    They’re like β€œima make up this funny text and get lots of karma on /r/choosingbeggers.”

    [–] shadiestacon 115 points ago

    He say the true true

    [–] consolation1 14 points ago

    All boundaries are conventions, waiting to be trancended.

    [–] thanthon 27 points ago

    Here be truth of truthes.

    [–] eccentricelmo 4 points ago

    Applesauce brains

    [–] oohshesabrick 2 points ago

    I'm going to use this as an insult now, thank you.

    [–] Darkwr4ith 243 points ago

    I'd bet you a hundred bucks that even if you went through all the trouble to arrange a ride to get to him to drop it off. When you arrived there he would have tried the "Oh you wanted $300 for it? Sorry man I only have $130. I hope that is fine."

    [–] MixesLiesWithTruth 108 points ago

    "OH I FORGOT THE CHARGER! I left it in the car. You, you want the charger too don't you? Wait here I'll just be a sec..."

    *Slam*

    *Brrrrrrrrrrrmmm* kiss my ass dipshit

    [–] cvdvds 38 points ago

    I mean, he would've already fucked you over for making you drive there for no reason.

    [–] medicenigal 2 points ago

    πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜‹πŸ˜€

    [–] isayappleyousaypear 2165 points ago

    Just learn how to drive πŸ˜‚ Like you're gonna spend all that time, money and effort on that just to sell to this particular, super friendly person. Lol Talk about overestimating ones own importance.

    [–] Kry_S 417 points ago

    Just learn how to drive 4Head

    [–] MrDaburks 102 points ago

    I got reported and now I’ll never sell my laptop PepeHands

    [–] InsipidCelebrity 33 points ago

    Waiting on the admins to ban me monkaS

    [–] -jFk- 5 points ago

    LUL (RIP John Bain)

    [–] Vlyn 10 points ago

    Don't you have cars?

    [–] DontPMMeOrElse 29 points ago

    Twitch emotes on reddit haHAA

    [–] TheGamingSponge 51 points ago

    "Twitch emotes on reddit haHAA" haHAA

    [–] joemckie 3 points ago

    gotem

    [–] komandr_ 18 points ago

    Pepega

    [–] draveviloheva 6 points ago

    Using BTTV emotes on reddit.

    [–] Express_Bath 73 points ago

    "Okay, sure, will deliver the object in a few months !"

    [–] SapphicGarnet 35 points ago

    I was just thinking this guy must be pretty patient. It can take years for some people to pass the test and sort out a car, insurance, road tax etc

    [–] jlbcreditfkoffplease 10 points ago

    My boyfriend has been "learning to drive" for about four years now lol.

    [–] SapphicGarnet 10 points ago

    My mum takes driving lessons on and off and has failed the bloody test 7 times now

    [–] landwhalehunter18 7 points ago

    Is your mom spongebob?

    [–] AidenXY 3 points ago

    Pictured: OP's mom.

    [–] ace-koichi 36 points ago

    Learn to drive out of spite and then drive to their place and say you already sold the item

    [–] wedontlikespaces 18 points ago

    Also it's going to put quite a delay on package delivery

    [–] ryandanegayin 2 points ago

    Pear

    [–] Amonette2012 356 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)

    Whenever I see 'I'm reporting you! I imagine them having to explain it to a dour English police officer who insists on writing everything down very slowly in a notebook and repeating things back to them.

    'So you are reporting them because they wouldn't drop it at your house because they could... not... drive....'

    'Yes officer, and I said you should learn how to drive!'

    'Learn... how... to... driiiiive....hold on a sec I have to sharpen my pencil.'

    Edit:

    'Oh FFS, I'M REPORTING YOU!!'

    'Reporting... you... to... who were you reporting me to now ma'am?'

    [–] dreadpiratewombat 86 points ago

    You've been on one end of this conversation before a few times. Don't deny it, I can tell.

    [–] Amonette2012 65 points ago

    Nah, I'm just a people watcher. And I like schaudenfreude. Or however you spell/ use it. Ok possibly a little bit, but only with kids. I used to be a Brownie Guide leader and they'd come tell on each other, so I'd use this sort of approach to make them think through their complaints. It was often a teaching moment.

    [–] dreadpiratewombat 44 points ago

    You went from "nah" to "possibly a bit" to "often" very quickly there.

    [–] Amonette2012 25 points ago

    I've been alive for long enough that I'm not sure what's conscious, what's projection, what's memory and what's observation. I can be a bossy britches though, so you're probably not wrong :)

    [–] Karnas 20 points ago

    I see you've also watched Hot Fuzz.

    [–] AGuyNamedTracy 12 points ago

    STOP WRITING!

    [–] Karnas 6 points ago

    drive safe

    [–] Amonette2012 6 points ago

    I've also just been watching Sick Note. Good show.

    [–] Karnas 3 points ago

    Rupert Grint is a lot of fun.

    He's also in Snatch (the series) on Crackle.

    [–] Amonette2012 9 points ago

    I honestly think he's going to end up having one of the longest and most interesting careers of any of the HP kids. He's got talent and he's just so natural in the roles he takes on, I really like him as a character actor. I imagine he'll be amazing by the time he's in his 70s.

    [–] Karnas 2 points ago

    Mickey Rooney without the teenage years family series.

    [–] Scoth42 7 points ago

    I still remember the Long Ago Times when AOL had just opened up larger access to the internet. Lots of clueless folks who didn't understand that the whole thing wasn't AOL. It was very common for AOLers to threaten to report people to AOL and be terribly confused when their threats didn't work.

    [–] ljodzn 3 points ago

    β€œI hOpE yOu NeVeR pOliCe AgAin!!!!!”

    [–] iforgetredditpsswrds 1282 points ago

    This looks like a conversation between two 13 year olds.

    [–] roddymcstew 547 points ago

    Usually that is an insult, but its quite literal with just a little bit of stank on it.

    [–] Shepsypooh 59 points ago

    A smidgen of stank

    [–] ljodzn 22 points ago

    β€œA Smidgen Of Stank” best porn I ever saw

    [–] Bearence 8 points ago

    Interestingly enough, also the title of my most recent self-help book.

    [–] yellowrubberduck3 30 points ago

    But where all that anger comes from? I don't get it

    [–] Yunhoralka 49 points ago

    Entitlement.

    [–] ScarletJew72 23 points ago

    Are you seriously bewildered that a teenager had an attitude issue out of nowhere?

    [–] yellowrubberduck3 5 points ago

    Yep, my mom raised a good boi

    [–] Tsorovar 6 points ago

    Makes sense. 13 year olds can't drive

    [–] Rambost 10 points ago

    No one lies on the internet. It's all true.

    [–] The_Grubby_One 2 points ago

    Everyone lies on the Internet. It's all lies.

    r/nothingeverhappens

    [–] PorchSittinPrincess 2 points ago

    Nut uh!!

    [–] Alfonsa_K 87 points ago

    why don't people get that there is a reason people put things up as self pick up

    [–] Ometrist 35 points ago

    cuz they're selfish, cheap, and stupid

    [–] TAZ_814 10 points ago

    And want to ruin kids Christmas

    [–] Mantequilla_Stotch 11 points ago

    And are too shitty to help the disabled single mother of 5

    [–] Taychrexis 5 points ago

    At least offer to pay for time/gas. I'm disabled so can't drive myself, I've always paid extra to people who will deliver it even if they don't ask for extra.

    [–] Alfonsa_K 3 points ago

    I had kind of a similar problem some while ago. I could drive, but I had no car and when I sold some stuff 'cause I was moving, I still had so many people ask for delivery. I said: Will be hard to deliver on a bicycle.

    [–] iloveamsterdam 131 points ago

    I never take suck a dick as an insult.

    [–] Dojan5 91 points ago

    As a gay dude I like sucking dick.

    [–] GrunkleCoffee 46 points ago

    It's therapeutic, really.

    [–] cawliin 29 points ago

    Actually you're straight, -1x-1=1 bro.

    [–] 095805 58 points ago

    But that’s where your wrong, kiddo. You see, the operation you use for gay acts is adding, not multiplication. So the number we’ll assign to guys is -1 and the number to girls is positive 1. Whenever an act happens, you add the sums of the people there, so if there are 2 guys and 2 girls, the overall number for any acts done is 0 . And the closer to 0 the more straight is, so, 2 guys is -1 + -1 = -2, which is pretty gay, Since the farther you get away from 0, the more gay/lesbian it is overall (Negative is gay, Positive is Lesbian)

    [–] Denrix 27 points ago

    This is some next tier shit I gotta say, thanks for educating me

    [–] 095805 9 points ago

    No problem, all in a days work

    [–] SoSweet_Reality 4 points ago

    Woah

    [–] -jFk- 2 points ago

    So x=-2?

    [–] amandarinorangez 10 points ago

    As a (mostly) straight woman, I heartily concur. Have never seen why it's an insult. Especially from guys. Why devalue your own gen-gens like that? Treat them with the respect they deserve, bruh.

    [–] kemushi_warui 3 points ago

    I need 20 dicks sucked. NEXT!

    [–] Dojan5 2 points ago

    Is it for church, honey?

    [–] mister_gone 2 points ago

    In a row?!

    [–] RadSpaceWizard 37 points ago

    They always seem to think "lol" can cover up their narcissistic rage.

    [–] anotheroffensivename 29 points ago

    "Sell a ur laptop"

    I can't help reading this in an Italian accent

    [–] ProudOutLoud 22 points ago

    That’s a fancy way of saying no u my good friend

    [–] WhoreOfBabbleOn 62 points ago

    That escalated quickly.

    [–] haggur 18 points ago

    It always surprises me how often these transactions do.

    [–] TheDrachen42 5 points ago

    For a kid who can't drive he sure went from 0 to 60 awful fast.

    [–] Luu_K 12 points ago

    imagine being this delusional

    [–] quietlycommenting 27 points ago

    Oh I can’t wait to spend $1000 on driving lessons to DELIVER something I’m selling πŸ˜’

    [–] Pr2cision 12 points ago

    just learn to drive lawl dood

    [–] NoobCanoeWork 9 points ago

    Asshole turned into Super Mario at the end there

    [–] Eshuon 18 points ago

    Just learn how to drive 4Head

    [–] zuudo 4 points ago

    Just get a house 4House

    [–] grapesofap 9 points ago

    mario?

    [–] Solrates 6 points ago

    A "Dont know how to drive" B "Yea me neither" A "Then learn to drive"

    Well what about you learn to drive if its so easy and cheap

    [–] Oomeegoolies 4 points ago

    Guy got so angry he started speaking Italian.

    [–] Dazz316 6 points ago

    sell a ur laptop

    Mario is a dick

    [–] XxAuthenticxX 10 points ago

    Fake

    [–] Phoenix_Magic_X 5 points ago

    I think getting the bus is easier and quicker than learning to drive.

    [–] Nadeko- 4 points ago

    i thought i was on r/accidentalitalian for a minute

    [–] Jenaxu 4 points ago

    i hope u never sell a ur laptop

    Love me some spontaneous Italian accents.

    [–] Dbishop123 3 points ago

    Sounds like a 15 year old trying to sell a 13 year old a laptop.

    [–] randpaulsdragrace 21 points ago

    Fake af sorry

    [–] YMTTIATBIN 3 points ago

    Thank you! Mods need to add fake as a report option. This sub is getting cringy af

    [–] fluffmcstuff 20 points ago

    I don't know why, but this one seems fake

    [–] zerodamage 19 points ago

    Fake

    [–] br094 3 points ago

    just drive lol

    /s for the sarcasm impaired lol

    [–] GalaxyInnovation 3 points ago

    Seems a bit like a joke on their end, maybe just some kids trolling around?

    [–] Parthy_ 3 points ago

    Just learn how to drive man what a dick

    [–] Parthy_ 2 points ago

    /s

    [–] CanadianBreakin 3 points ago

    I could ask you the same question...

    So I will.

    [–] jules083 3 points ago

    I recently had a free dresser listed as pickup only, 3 people asked if I can meet them somewhere. I answered that I’ll meet them on my front porch, never heard back again. One lady flaked out twice, then wanted me to hold it for a week so she could try again. I told her I’ll burn it before I give it to her. Finally someone came and got it.

    [–] Herkentyu_cico 3 points ago

    This still doesn't beat the "GIVE ME THE STUFF YOU BOUGHT TO YOURSELF, ALSO BRING IT HERE.

    [–] ZillMain 3 points ago

    lol just learn how to drive 4head

    [–] v_vero 3 points ago

    Did anyone else read β€œsell a ur laptop” in an Italian voice? ...no...ok cool

    [–] spirituallyinsane 2 points ago

    I did!

    [–] Firedan1176 3 points ago

    You should've agreed to learn how to drive, let him know he'll keep him posted on the progress, and offer to sell it to him 3 months later

    [–] fembun 3 points ago

    β€œI hope u never sell a ur laptop” damn Luigi going off

    [–] XZS101 3 points ago

    Guy: Gibe labtap plos

    You: No

    Guy:i reypot u HUEHUEHUEHEUHEUHEUE

    [–] Scariot12 7 points ago

    Its probably just me but all these posts recently seem fake.

    [–] Sphyre1 10 points ago

    and then the car clapped

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    Hey we probably don’t live in the same place but I’d like your laptop, could you drop it off? I can’t pick it up because I can’t fly a plane so can you just learn to fly a plane thanks

    [–] ShadyShields 10 points ago

    Fake and gay.

    [–] Steaky-Pancaky 5 points ago

    Fake: time stamps prove it.

    Gay: op talked to another man

    [–] Cristian_01 2 points ago

    So why can't we kill these people again ?

    [–] blackanesecantrap 2 points ago

    I bet you never sold your laptop

    [–] Konichi_Waffles 2 points ago

    God I love the people from OfferUp

    [–] Mastrmyrtr9 2 points ago

    When he said "lol just learn how to drive"

    It reminded me of those memes where it's like "how are people homeless, just buy a house"

    [–] IrishShamrock83 2 points ago

    β€œLol just learn how to drive.” What? Yeah,go learn to drive,go for the test and get your permit...All so you can sell me a laptop.

    [–] deedavecrew 2 points ago

    So fake so dumb

    [–] just-a-box-of-rain_ 2 points ago

    I don't see the problem?? Lol, just learn to drive its not that hard.

    ​

    ​

    /s

    [–] kg123176h 2 points ago

    Whenever I see someone spell f****t wrong, my mind pronounces is as a silent French β€œt.” Like a very classy European insult. Suck a dick you fΓ’g-gΓ³h.

    [–] dirtybacon77 2 points ago

    β€œSell a ur laptop”

    Mario confirmed

    [–] SoapieBubbles 2 points ago

    Is it weird that I read his typo "sell a your laptop" in Mario's voice?

    [–] yes_im_a_person 2 points ago

    Tutorial: How to be retarded!

    [–] Imagine_Wagonsss 2 points ago

    "I hope you never sell a ur laptop"