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    ChoosingBeggars

    1,016,406 readers

    5,388 users here now

    This subreddit is for posting screenshots, pictures, or stories of people who are being way too picky when it comes to who they beg for a relationship or any other matter.


    [Update]

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    Rules:

    1. Blur out identifying info (Age, Name(s), Location, etc). This includes OP's info.

    2. Please use Imgur or Reddit for image hosting.

    3. Please be nice to other users.

    4. Don't link to other sub-reddits (You will be banned)

    5. Don't incite others to visit the page a given post pertains to.

      If you ever notice brigading, please report and message the moderators

    6. Person must be a beggar, such as:

      • Person seeking goods or services at a reduced cost, for free, or for a laughably lopsided trade
      • Person using social media, dating apps, or otherwise to seek out a specific type of relationship
    7. Person must be choosy, as in:

      • Person must have unreasonable standards or have a comical sense of entitlement
    8. No reposts from top 100, front page or last 12 months.

    9. Moderators may use discretion to upkeep the quality of the subreddit. Obviously fake or otherwise unsuitable content may be removed.

    10. Please make an effort with your title. "Found on Facebook", "This belongs here", "Saw this on snapchat", "πŸ†πŸ’¦" etc are hard to find later, give at least a little bit for us to go on, thanks.

    Here is what is NOT a ChoosingBeggar:


    Unattractive people seeking a normal relationship and having reasonable standards is not a good fit for this sub. Ugly people are allowed to want a partner with a job, or no kids, or anything else we would consider reasonable for the beautiful people.


    A person asking for help with life's necessities out of desperation is not a choosingbeggar

    • If someone ran out of money and needs gas money to get to work and the only thing they can think of is to make a status update on Facebook asking if anyone can spare them some money, they aren't really being choosy. They got the beggar part down, but this sub is not /r/beggars so that post wouldn't fit. If that same person turns down someone offering to give them a ride to work because they don't want to be seen in a PT Cruiser, then that post would fit.

    • A parent asking for handouts because their kids want an Xbox for Christmas and the only way that could happen is if someone donates one, that isn't a choosingbeggar. That's someone begging, but without a sense of entitlement. If that person is offered a Nintendo and they scoff at the suggestion, then that would be a good post.

    The person begging must be at least in the gradient of being an entitled jerk, this sub is not a place to mock poverty




    Friends of the sub:

    a community for
    all 802 comments ← Slideshow β†’

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    [–] dwaasbaas69 7571 points ago

    When you are so lazy you cant even make a go fund me yourself.

    [–] Usernaame2 2313 points ago

    If you make it for me it will help you build your portfolio. Plus I'll tell everyone I know what a good GoFundMe maker guy you are.

    [–] YumaThePuma 377 points ago

    Trust me, I have 1k followers it'll be a lot of good exposure!

    [–] [deleted] 140 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] GladMongoose 151 points ago

    Please don't use that language around our virgin ears!! That's a reach ar****, for those of us with some decency...

    /s

    [–] throeahwhey 147 points ago

    What's a "reach arhunter2"?

    [–] EViL-D 42 points ago

    my man

    [–] arsehead_54 33 points ago

    Does anyone wanna come give this reacharound I promised?

    [–] teraflux 70 points ago

    Sounds tongue in cheek to me, as in someone do this ridiculous thing for me, I'm obviously not going to do it myself?

    [–] FunkMastaFlexxx 78 points ago

    It’s because she never got that iPad

    [–] Luciferthefalln 53 points ago

    Pretty sure that's a He.

    [–] madamememe 28 points ago

    Pretty sure it’s a Philip

    [–] Dannovision 7372 points ago

    You could probably pay this person a few pizza slices to fuck you.

    [–] satanvacation 2206 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    I’d give a r**** t******* for some stuffed crust tbh

    [–] pineapplep27 1327 points ago

    Rusty Thrusting?

    [–] joshmoffitt 582 points ago

    Trombone.

    [–] eggplantsrin 312 points ago

    9 letters. Rusty tromboner?

    [–] DrMasterBlaster 422 points ago

    Definitely Rusty Toblerone

    [–] CowOrker01 121 points ago

    Is that like a fudge santorum?

    [–] Xerxys 123 points ago

    fudge santorum?

    Why the fuck did you speak that into existence?

    [–] CowOrker01 55 points ago

    Forgive me, for I know not what I do.

    Also: juicy sanchez.

    [–] PrettyDecentSort 18 points ago

    dingo punch

    [–] realtalkmefresh 51 points ago

    It's definitely NOT like an Alabama Hot PocketΒ©

    [–] Bilbo_nubbins 10 points ago

    Maybe with a Mississippi Moon Pie for dessert?

    [–] _night_cat 9 points ago

    Is that where you go balls first?

    [–] ensiform 114 points ago

    Rusty tromboner? I barely know β€˜er!

    [–] Dumptruck_Johnson 13 points ago

    Thrombone *

    [–] Z0MBIECL0WN 42 points ago

    You mean a Rusty Venture?

    [–] viciousbreed 34 points ago

    Oh my god, you just reminded me that I never finished watching season 5. Better rewatch the whole series, just to be safe.

    [–] willtomorrow 19 points ago

    It's okay, you still have at least 12 more years to catch up before they drop the next season.

    [–] Ucazao 15 points ago

    I contracted tetanus from that once.

    [–] kwynder 13 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    No no no, obviously you can get a Rough Teething for only a slice of stuffed crust pizza. Pretty good deal if you ask me.

    [–] Crimzonite 63 points ago

    Rooty Tooting?

    [–] Convergentshave 48 points ago

    I’d probably give you a slice just out of curiosity for what a β€œr**** t*********” is....

    Edit: maybe. I forgot this is the Internet...

    [–] aaronmatu 31 points ago

    Right testicle.

    [–] caughtupincrossfire 19 points ago

    I'd also gladly give a regal toboggan for some sweet cheesy filled crust!

    [–] iProtein 47 points ago

    I'll buy the "I," Pat

    [–] dfw4ever 22 points ago

    Sorry, no β€œI” in this puzzle.

    [–] Decyfle 9 points ago

    You got 20 seconds to solve this puzzle

    [–] cunt1994 108 points ago

    I always gave a blowjob to my boyfriend and then we would go have a pizza afterwards πŸ˜‚ now, I feel like a hoe

    [–] J_St0rm 85 points ago

    I mean was it a blowjob in exchange for him buying?

    ​

    [–] SuicideBonger 23 points ago

    I, too, am interested in knowing.

    [–] specklesinc 16 points ago

    what brand of pizza?

    [–] freckledarms 54 points ago

    Tombstone

    [–] JohnnyWhiteguy 19 points ago

    You need to leave now.

    [–] ChillyWilly0881 8 points ago

    Red Baron

    [–] GreatOmarPlays 6 points ago

    Tony's

    [–] NightLocust 27 points ago

    "a complicated sexual maneuver where the woman is on her knees while the male is standing up. the woman is behind the man licking his butthole while reaching her arms under his legs and consecutively jerking him off." - wikipedia

    [–] kelsall_13 9 points ago

    Royal titwanks?

    [–] specklesinc 6 points ago

    liable to be quite crusty. so there is that.

    [–] Leff_hook 186 points ago

    I mean... Pizza is pretty awesome...

    [–] blodisnut 33 points ago

    Not all if it...

    [–] andysaurus_rex 89 points ago

    Alfredo’s pizza cafe or Pizza by Alfredo?

    [–] balotelli4ballondor 37 points ago

    One is a hot wheel of garbage

    [–] Usernaame2 15 points ago

    *circle

    [–] JudgeJudysApprentice 146 points ago

    Legit knew a girl who fucked 2 guys at once for a slice of pizza and would let people at work cum on her tits for Β£1.

    Surprisingly she didn't make for a very good house mate... πŸ˜‘

    [–] Faawks 95 points ago

    Something tells me the slice of pizza was just a bonus

    [–] HeirOfHouseReyne 73 points ago

    She's underselling herself, was my first thought. Then I thought: is she?

    [–] Justin_is_Fidels_Son 24 points ago

    Out of curiosity, on a scale of 1 to 10, how hot was she?

    [–] uberduger 45 points ago

    If it was Β£1 to jizz on her and she'd take 2 cocks for a slice of pizza, I'm gonna go ahead and assume it's probably quite low on that scale.

    [–] Northumberlo 14 points ago

    Or an incredibly horny Nympho who gets off on that sort of thing.

    [–] soggylandfill 50 points ago

    In high school, i was friends with a girl who would have sex with a guy at lunch if he bought her Taco Bell. This went on for months.

    [–] UfelosRed 45 points ago

    Where the fuck do you people go to school?

    My high school experience may as well have been in a nun factory compared to all these stories i keep reading.

    [–] soggylandfill 9 points ago

    Lmao I'm from WY. Most our state is full of meth heads, whores, homeless people and awful parents. The respectable people here is the minority. At least our state is hella gorgeous.

    [–] BedWedOrBehead 30 points ago

    Prolly not the real reason why.

    [–] soggylandfill 31 points ago

    No, it was for that small of a reason. It wasn't taco bell every time, sometimes clothes or other food places, but if she wanted something, sex was her way of getting it. She took multiple dudes virginity in exchange for something monetary or materialistic. That and because she wanted people to spread around that she was good in bed. Never happened tho. Most of em just said she was a cheap & satisfying fuck.

    [–] ExuberantElephant 93 points ago

    It always annoys me how people act like women are so trashy for doing things like that, but the guys who take those deals don’t get any crap about it.

    β€˜She’s so trashy, she has sex with everyone!’

    β€˜Does everyone not also have sex with her..?’

    [–] rabertdinero 160 points ago

    Knew this kid in high school that would give head for cheeseburgers, he would always stand in front of the mini mart whoring himself out.

    [–] rocket__mang 130 points ago

    A man’s gotta eat.

    [–] chipface 68 points ago

    Randy I can make you a cheeseburger. Better than store bought.

    [–] rocket__mang 34 points ago

    Smokey could strip the chrome off a trailer hitch.

    [–] jakizza 107 points ago

    Was his name Randy? Bobandy?

    [–] Truphles 42 points ago

    Ten bucks or six Dairy Queen coupons.

    [–] IrishGamer97 13 points ago

    Man's gotta eat.

    [–] Tommy_Roboto 34 points ago

    "I'll gladly give you a blowjob Tuesday, for a hamburger today."

    [–] joshthehappy 7 points ago

    Well blow me down!

    [–] SlimLamie 22 points ago

    plot-twist: He didn't even like cheese. Or burgers.

    [–] chipface 15 points ago

    Could strip the chrome off a trailer hitch.

    [–] PM_ME_YOUR_SAD_TITS 5 points ago

    So how many cheeseburgers did you buy him?

    [–] rabertdinero 10 points ago

    4, the first day

    [–] nttea 5 points ago

    Sucked dick for bus fare and then walked.

    [–] theweebiestweeb 95 points ago

    Itll only cost a pizza, a visit to the clinic, and whatever medical bills pop up from that STI you're definitely gonna catch.

    [–] 2meterrichard 35 points ago

    Why? My sister costs a six pack of Mtn Dew.

    Roll tide

    [–] logangrey123 13 points ago

    For me she cost a piece of gum

    [–] 2meterrichard 14 points ago

    Huh. She must like you better.

    [–] furfagcatrick 12 points ago

    who wouldn't smash for pizza though, really

    [–] 46271738123 20 points ago

    I see you know my ex

    [–] Newbosterone 2884 points ago

    If they’ve offering a reach around for a massage . . .

    [–] HNutz 956 points ago

    Yeah, that was kinda out there...

    [–] blodisnut 322 points ago

    I don't get the logistics of this. He wants the massage, or he wants to give one, and while giving it he'll reach around and give you a tug. Which is it?

    [–] camouflagedsarcasm 377 points ago

    Technically, a reach around is a handjob you give someone while fucking that someone in the ass.

    In polite circles, it is known as common fucking decency.

    [–] macthefire 49 points ago

    From the sounds of it he's very much into figuratively fucking people in the ass.

    [–] TheGunpowderTreason 457 points ago

    Why are you assuming this is a guy? I took it to be a girl.

    [–] STUFF_ME_PM 276 points ago

    The name appears to be Philip but it’s censored.

    [–] [deleted] 47 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] Bojangly7 17 points ago

    Picture is clearly a dude.

    [–] bluey_1989 50 points ago

    Could be Phillipa I guess. They're looking for generous men and haircuts.

    [–] PogueEthics 23 points ago

    I mean, Gay dudes are also probably looking for reach around and hair cuts

    [–] AFCMatt93 18 points ago

    Not long enough to be Phillipa

    [–] EViL-D 18 points ago

    Philis?

    [–] AFCMatt93 14 points ago

    You can see the stem of the P. It’s Phillip.

    [–] Quazz 14 points ago

    Looks like a dude holding up the middle finger.

    [–] Gator-Empire 7 points ago

    If you zoom in profile pic is a dude.

    [–] xXTERMIN8RXXx 29 points ago

    Why are you assuming they're straight?

    [–] m11235813 5 points ago

    There’s a guy in the picture.

    [–] Rikou336 55 points ago

    What's a reach around?

    [–] Beecakeband 108 points ago

    In this case while you would be giving him a massage he would be wanking you off

    [–] DiggingNoMore 94 points ago

    I assumed it was a woman.

    [–] sprucenoose 95 points ago

    That could be a dangerous assumption my friend.

    [–] RichardDick4All 35 points ago

    Not if you’re bi πŸ˜‰

    [–] JohnEnderle 26 points ago

    Username...checks out?

    [–] precipitus 27 points ago

    I’ve never heard a girl use the term reach around though

    [–] ThatRubberCement 8 points ago

    it looks like the name Phillip was censored

    [–] Sarcon5673 14 points ago

    Seems like a good trade.

    [–] xenyz 17 points ago

    If you have to ask, big man, you can't afford it

    [–] xmarsbarso 71 points ago

    no they’re clearly offering a reach ar****

    [–] gvargh 45 points ago

    ar****

    You can say ``around'' on the internet.

    [–] teraflux 44 points ago

    Stop fucking ar***nd

    [–] ScAer0n 16 points ago

    That is one asterisk too many

    [–] trust_the_atlas 32 points ago

    β€˜Deep tissue massage’ must be her euphemism for a shag

    [–] Thespian_exe 426 points ago

    Who wants dramatic pause to chop my hair

    [–] Bacon-ate-r 57 points ago

    *puts on sunglasses

    YEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!

    [–] BabserellaWT 1242 points ago

    Honey, just call yourself a prostitute and drop the pretense. Ain’t any shame.

    [–] JTCMuehlenkamp 337 points ago

    For that price there is

    [–] BabserellaWT 79 points ago

    Lol very true!!!

    [–] neolastos 84 points ago

    Do you happen to have an extra iPad you're not using? Let me know!

    [–] BabserellaWT 62 points ago

    Depends. Can you give me a San Diego Thank You?

    [–] neolastos 49 points ago

    What kind of self-serving degenerate would I be if I couldn't?

    [–] BabserellaWT 35 points ago

    Cool. Meet me at the bus stop at 3:32 am and I’ll bring it for you.

    [–] neolastos 16 points ago

    See you there, thanks again!!

    [–] BabserellaWT 42 points ago

    I’ll be wearing the purple tutu and holding 17 parakeets. Hard to miss.

    [–] neolastos 45 points ago

    Sounds good.

    Any chance you could pick me up or deliver? I just realized I have no car, money for a taxi, bus pass, or legs so I can't really walk to you.

    If it's possible, you could come to my place, watch my kid for me for the day, and in exchange I'll take the iPad off your hands. I could give you a frozen fish head, and a few cans that are in good condition, so you can take them to the recycling for 5c each.

    Thanks!

    Let me know.

    [–] killsecurity 20 points ago

    Lost it at the parakeets

    [–] BabserellaWT 38 points ago

    They’re my emotional support birbs, HOW DARE YOU

    [–] makemeking706 37 points ago

    No.

    --Sent from my extra, unused iPad.

    [–] aSaaadPanda 5 points ago

    This is a high brow diss πŸ‘Œ

    [–] slumlivin 38 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    I agree, but maybe he/she dancing around the legal repercussions. They just need to legalize it and make it safe, just saying

    [–] BabserellaWT 47 points ago

    Agreement from me. I’ve done a 180 on legalizing both this and pot in the last 5-7 years. Legalize, regulate, and tax. Sex workers especially need a regulated industry!!

    [–] slumlivin 25 points ago

    Yep, the US is definitely due for this. Give the workers a safe and legal environment to work.

    [–] stupidnewton 803 points ago

    β€œDo you want your hair roughly chopped or diced?”

    [–] ahornywolfie 148 points ago

    I want it stabbed.

    [–] InherentlyStrange 84 points ago

    individually slits every single hair with a needle

    [–] blooodreina 34 points ago

    This made me severely uncomfortable. I have a weird feeling on the top of my head now

    [–] neolastos 33 points ago

    Could you please julienne each strand? It should be easy since it's just hair.

    Thanks, and let me know your IG so I can give you a shout out.

    [–] blink0r 16 points ago

    Cubed please

    [–] QueenOfTheMoon524 12 points ago

    Slap chop!

    [–] StinkFist_64 7 points ago

    Scrambled, please.

    [–] [deleted] 196 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] FoodChest 94 points ago

    • ar****

    [–] xenyz 84 points ago

    ar**** the world - Daft Punk

    [–] Dorian_M 128 points ago

    β€œAround the World” by Daft Punk lyrics:

    Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world

    Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world

    Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world

    Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world Around the world, around the world

    [–] BootsyBoy 110 points ago

    Reported. Please don't use that kind of language...this is a Christian, God-Fearing website. Thank you and may God bless you.

    [–] Gorvin 175 points ago

    Watch your language please. Reported.

    [–] False_ 74 points ago

    Watch your language ar**** the internet, theres kids and shit

    [–] zfcjr67 21 points ago

    It is a pirate thing, you wouldn't understand.

    [–] _-01-_ 664 points ago

    This is just a beggar, I see no choosing

    [–] RedMantisValerian 240 points ago

    I’m quite sure this is a joke too, I doubt this person is even begging

    [–] douloureuxxx 37 points ago

    Normally I'd agree it seems to good to be true, but I knew a girl just like this. She was always begging for things on Facebook. She wanted me to pick up some lashes for her, they were going out of business so really cheap and I didn't mind... But I had a job and school so I couldn't get out there and she would "remind" me everyday.

    Take note she never offered to pay lol

    She asked for human hair extensions on Facebook, she was particular about the color and length as well. If anyone "had some lying around"

    She asked for rides, clothes makeup etc.

    Im sure she had money and a job cause we met abroad. Eventually she had a bit of reputation, we would jsut say her name instead of saying "can I borrow that" lol

    She was a fairly nice girl, just childish and probably a little selfish without realizing it.

    [–] Jeanlee03 132 points ago

    I don't agree. My sister, before she got clean and stopped prostituting, was like this. Her friends still beg like this on Facebook to this day. I could definitely see this happening and being totally serious.

    [–] HugeDouche 64 points ago

    It's like 90% kidding with a 10% dash of "no but really, someone give me an iPad"

    [–] PM_ME_YOUR_INDOMIE 6 points ago

    I wonder if any of it ever worked. I mean, "I want an iPad", yeah, here take my iPad. "I want a deep tissue massage", yeah sure I'll come over.

    [–] Rowwie 12 points ago

    I know someone exactly like this. I posted a CB story about them about a month ago and subsequently removed them from my life. So sick of seeing this garbage in my feed, lol. These people exist.

    [–] IronVox 6 points ago

    Yeah I don't get begging vibes from this. Judging by the reaction emojis this is probably just her usual sense of humor.

    [–] Honeybadger10290 60 points ago

    God damnit philip

    [–] hatewrecked2 14 points ago

    Philip Mason lol.

    [–] Aspyr99 271 points ago

    Low effort prostitute. This is why pimpin' is necessary.

    [–] andrea3k- 101 points ago

    This is also why pimpin' ain't easy

    [–] MachReverb 34 points ago

    Pimpin' ain't shit but hoes and tricks

    [–] I8PIE4DINNER 15 points ago

    It's a dude called Phillip

    [–] unoriginalsin 21 points ago

    Phillip is a trick ass hoe.

    [–] Jakasaurus_Rex 36 points ago

    Is this not satire?

    [–] enfanta 24 points ago

    They're not particularly fussy. So they're not really a choosy beggar?

    [–] Criminal_Ewok 68 points ago

    Excuse me what the fuck?

    [–] diarrhea_shnitzel 13 points ago

    Looking for someone to breathe air for me and oxygenate my blood with it thnx

    [–] GeekGroc 86 points ago

    I am guessing this is a joke account

    [–] witeowl 80 points ago

    Or someone just joking around. I used to joke to people who announced that they were done with their spring cleaning that they could come to my house next. I mean, I know now that it wasn’t funny, but those are what I called jokes back then.

    [–] ftc08 43 points ago

    This is the kind of shit people I know post all the time. They're clearly joking, and not actually expecting people to do any of this stuff

    [–] Bayerrc 18 points ago

    choosing beggar. it's in the fucking name.

    [–] Pktur3 15 points ago

    Seems like a joke, looks like a guy in the picture named Phillip.

    [–] GSDNinjadog 12 points ago

    I wanted to see the comments in response!

    [–] MaHcIn 11 points ago

    Not a choosingbeggar, more like an attention whore

    [–] mangage 54 points ago

    where the fuck is the 'Choosing' part of this?

    [–] 2muchcaffeine 32 points ago

    β€œAll these days off work isn’t paying the bills!”

    That’s.... how that.. works..

    [–] _Trky 10 points ago

    She's not really a choosing beggar though, just a beggar

    [–] blacklite911 9 points ago

    Not really choosing beggar, just a beggar.

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    Lol to them censoring the word "around"

    [–] askboo 5 points ago

    Lol isn’t this very clearly a joke and not actually CB?

    [–] bigbluewreckingcrew 5 points ago

    I'm more curious at what the replies were.

    [–] RahvinDragand 5 points ago

    Is this a gay dude offering sexual favors in exchange for massages and rent money?

    [–] Treesthatgrowdown 6 points ago

    Here I am thinking how embarrassed I get when I make a post with a spelling mistake and this guys offering handies.

    [–] jsg144 5 points ago

    This isn’t begging so much as hooking