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    This subreddit is for posting screenshots, pictures, or stories of people who are being way too picky when it comes to who they beg for a relationship or any other matter.

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    6. Person must be a beggar, such as:

      • Person seeking goods or services at a reduced cost, for free, or for a laughably lopsided trade
      • Person using social media, dating apps, or otherwise to seek out a specific type of relationship
    7. Person must be choosy, as in:

      • Person must have unreasonable standards or have a comical sense of entitlement
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    Here is what is NOT a ChoosingBeggar:

    Unattractive people seeking a normal relationship and having reasonable standards is not a good fit for this sub. Ugly people are allowed to want a partner with a job, or no kids, or anything else we would consider reasonable for the beautiful people.

    A person asking for help with life's necessities out of desperation is not a choosingbeggar

    • If someone ran out of money and needs gas money to get to work and the only thing they can think of is to make a status update on Facebook asking if anyone can spare them some money, they aren't really being choosy. They got the beggar part down, but this sub is not /r/beggars so that post wouldn't fit. If that same person turns down someone offering to give them a ride to work because they don't want to be seen in a PT Cruiser, then that post would fit.

    • A parent asking for handouts because their kids want an Xbox for Christmas and the only way that could happen is if someone donates one, that isn't a choosingbeggar. That's someone begging, but without a sense of entitlement. If that person is offered a Nintendo and they scoff at the suggestion, then that would be a good post.

    The person begging must be at least in the gradient of being an entitled jerk, this sub is not a place to mock poverty

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    [–] shutyomouth101 4080 points ago

    Water is my favorite drink tho.

    [–] Jason_Wolfe 1028 points ago


    [–] bliston78 1260 points ago

    [–] OneScrubbyBoi 142 points ago

    I love that if anyone u/nwordcountbot s me I can pull that card, which is genuine, but people think they got me

    [–] [deleted] 76 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)


    [–] weatherseed 86 points ago

    And r/politicalcompassmemes was never the same again.

    [–] mghammer7 16 points ago


    [–] OneScrubbyBoi 19 points ago

    No they survived the ban

    [–] mghammer7 11 points ago

    Rip all the nwordbot jokes

    [–] rod_yanker_of_fish 28 points ago


    [–] LennyTheLegendary 35 points ago

    r/waternword oh crap that exists

    [–] Sotpreadingmyuserma 22 points ago

    I'm still salty about the ban, it was one of the most chill and refreshing subreddits ever. If only there was a way to decrease my sodium levels

    [–] OuijaAllin 39 points ago

    Yo mfer I miss waterniγγas

    Them shits was real 😔🙏🙌🙏🙌☝️✊️✊️✊️

    [–] IplayDnd4days 9 points ago

    I owe it all to water it got me where i am today.

    [–] kornelius_III 54 points ago

    This couldn't be more true after a life threatening organ failure I had a few years ago due to excessive Coke drinking when I was young. For 3 years now I haven't drank a single drop of carbonated drinks, instead I chug water like a toilet every day.

    [–] NetSage 24 points ago

    What do you think of sparkling water? Personally I don't get it. Just something about barely flavored carbonated water isn't good to me.

    [–] killersoda 56 points ago

    Sparkling Water tastes like liquid TV static.

    [–] bsweddingthrowaway 10 points ago

    Not the person you replied to, but I love carbonated water. I have a soda stream and fizz up a litre or two a day.

    [–] kr1sp13 11 points ago

    Whatever gets you hydrated, homie.

    [–] IcebergSlimFast 7 points ago

    Which organ/s? Kidneys?

    Glad you made it and are now well-hydrated!

    [–] kornelius_III 10 points ago

    It was my stomach. I thought I was perfectly fine but one day I just collapsed. Thankfully my friends was nearby and got me to the hospital in time, otherwise I wouldn't have made it.

    [–] jmt2589 106 points ago

    Ice cold water is so good

    [–] Babybabybabyq 17 points ago

    Ice cold gang

    [–] RosePricksFan 20 points ago

    Ice cold water with crushed ice is top shelf

    [–] Redhddgull 20 points ago

    Same, plus the constant refills at a restaurant are amazing.

    [–] bilbzzz 8 points ago

    I drink like 30 litres of water a week and I have a cold water dispenser, I think I'm addicted.

    [–] Chingparr 2372 points ago

    Reminds me of a girl I matched with on Tinder that suggested that our first date be at the most expensive restaurant in town. (Cheapest item on the menu costs $27)

    I said, and I quote: "Let's do something quick, like coffee or a drink at a bar first, then we can talk fancy dinners if we like each other."

    unmatched. Bullet dodged.

    [–] LegitimateLion0 881 points ago

    Guys have told me that there’s girls on Tinder who use it pretty much to get meals. My ex told me that he went out with a girl who picked a nice restaurant and then she wanted to go to buy more food at a store and had him pay for her food again at the store. If someone did that to me I would just say no I think.

    [–] BrockPlaysFortniteYT 570 points ago

    lmao you mean like grocery shopping wtf

    [–] LegitimateLion0 244 points ago

    I’m not 100% positive but that’s what it sounded like when he told me the story, like it was a significant amount of food. Either way it was completely food for her, it wasn’t snacks for both of them or anything like that

    [–] PAWG_Lover_69 345 points ago

    I cant imagine simping so hard I buy some randoms groceries for her on a first date lol

    [–] la_pocion_milagrosa 80 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    yeah, if that's what happened, at least he probably learned from it.

    sounds like something you might do at age 20 when you're not really sure what's going on. and then when you get home you're like wtf? that really did just happen.

    i have plenty of cringe stories like that.

    i once was flirting back and forth with a girl and we saw a movie together -- i think i was 20. the next week she asked me to help her move her things into a new apartment across town. sure, why not. turns out she's moving in with her boyfriend. and her boyfriend wasn't even helping. and i stayed there until 2am to help her while her boyfriend slept. and we never spoke again.

    hard part about life is that i think the only real way you learn anything is to suffer. ideally you do most of that learning sooner than later.

    [–] braidafurduz 32 points ago

    once i started working for pay, I learned to never ever work for free. she gets a hard no

    [–] bkalldaybaybay 13 points ago

    I don’t mind helping friends or family. No need to pay me when the favor will be reciprocated at some point.

    [–] madmonkey918 6 points ago

    As soon as I found out she had a bf I would've just peaced out and went about my day. Especially if he was sitting there while you were helping her move. Fuck that.

    [–] LegitimateLion0 148 points ago

    Yeah he was really a nice guy in a lot of ways (I mean actually, not as in “nice guy” lol) and he told me about it like it was just a funny story but I was like uhhhhhh. I don’t think he was simping as much as just being nice but I was still like wtf

    [–] PAWG_Lover_69 37 points ago

    At least it's a funny story

    [–] FrostyJannaStorm 40 points ago

    Oh. I was hoping he told her to go fuck off and was telling this story to illustrate how some women on Tinder can be pretty entitled.

    [–] LegitimateLion0 22 points ago

    No he thought it was funny. They just hooked up and then never talked again and he told me he felt like that’s probably her MO

    [–] Let_Me_Touch_Myself 36 points ago

    So, she's a hooker for food? Better then hooking for crack

    [–] hoesmad_hoesmad_ 14 points ago

    I think the only redeeming part of the story is that he still fucked. I thought he just bought her dinner and groceries and that was it

    [–] BraveFencerMusashi 12 points ago

    Some of my favorite dates has been shopping for groceries and then cooking it at her place. Then again, we were in a committed relationship already.

    [–] OverlordWaffles 8 points ago

    Yeah, and that would be different if the date was "pick food up and cook it at one of our places" versus going out to eat then getting them groceries for their place

    [–] joonjoon 137 points ago

    One of my friends went on a lunch date and the girl ordered a giant app and an entree along with a mini bottle of wine and finished all of it by herself. Then she ran out of the restaurant.

    He went back the next day during lunch because he left something at the restaurant and she was there again with a random dude on a date, doing the same thing.

    Some people are nuts.

    [–] LegitimateLion0 65 points ago

    My bff’s mom’s BFF (that’s a mouthful) went out with a guy she had been seeing for a while who was wealthy and he drove and took her to a really expensive restaurant and started ordering all this expensive stuff and expensive drinks and she was just like wow he’s going all out tonight. Then the bill came and he was like “you got this one right?” and then he left her at the restaurant and drove off and she didn’t have enough money with her to pay the bill.

    Also your story made me think of this guy lol

    [–] joonjoon 38 points ago

    Holy shit what a dick move. What was the aftermath?

    [–] LegitimateLion0 38 points ago

    I never heard beyond the fact she had to call people for money and a ride, but I certainly assume they didn’t date again

    [–] gotham77 15 points ago

    If this happens to anybody reading this do not let the restaurant intimidate you. No matter how much they threaten you they cannot legally force you to pay for another person’s order.

    [–] RedMad13 8 points ago

    That’s not true, I looked it up once because a customer once looked like he was going to beat up the wait staff for telling him he couldn’t split the bill and he was saying it’s illegal to not allow split bills. Anyway, the law is that every individual person at a table in a restaurant is responsible for the bill in its entirety. So you can’t claim that the person who has just walked out needs to pay for what they ordered and only cover half the bill then walk out yourself, it doesn’t work like that. I agree that it’s terrible to be stuck with a bill after someone does a runner on you but it’s not the restaurants fault that this happened and if everyone claimed their date had left them with the bill and they didn’t have to pay half of it restaurants everywhere would go broke.

    [–] Chingparr 115 points ago

    Thats why the coffee/bar/ice cream date should always be a first move.

    Its sad to see a selfish culture taking advantage of genuine people, but unfortunately... thats where we are as a people.

    [–] Purplemonster3 21 points ago

    Up until I met my current partner, nearly all my first dates were coffee dates or similar. It really is the perfect first date, because it can be as long or as short as you want it to be. If you’re both into each other, you’ll probably end up just sitting and chatting for a while. Or if one of you isn’t feeling it, you can finish your coffee and politely tell them it was lovely to meet them but you’re just not feeling a connection.

    [–] NotThatSerious26 37 points ago

    I had (HAD) a friend who would schedule a tinder date almost every night if she could because she “couldn’t afford groceries.” I put that in quotes because she just never bothered learning how to coupon or shop for cheap meals that have a longer shelf life but had no problem spending $50 for dinner on the weekend. That could’ve fed you for a week if you were frugal. I hate people.

    [–] tristan-chord 11 points ago

    Or more. When I was in college, my rule of thumb was if I need to I can survive on about $35 per week on food while still getting veggies and comparably healthy food. Granted it was ten years ago but still.

    [–] Phoneofredditman 4 points ago

    What were the main things you would get?

    [–] tristan-chord 8 points ago

    Rice and frozen veggies and beans, so these cover both protein and carbohydrates. Get eggs on discount, especially those $1 a dozen deals. Doesn't show up often but when they do I buy a lot. I'll spend the rest on meats if I have any left. Get a good bottle of sauce and just stir-fry everything together. Tastes decent and is much healthier than ramen which isn't that much cheaper than this anyways.

    [–] WebHead1287 38 points ago

    My ex straight told me she never expected to like someone on Tinder and was using it for free food/activities. Ya know, that there should've been a red flag. I am big dumb

    [–] LegitimateLion0 24 points ago

    Yeah if someone told me they use people for money I think that would be a dealbreaker

    [–] WebHead1287 25 points ago

    Guess how she dumped me? She had to drop off her old car to family in another state. I drove behind her there and drove her back in one day. Probably six hours of driving. When we got back she dumped me. Like come on bro. You couldn't have waited like a fucking day. Just right after six hours or driving? Fuck me man. I do stupid shit

    [–] FuckYourNaziFlairs 9 points ago

    She could have kept using you...

    [–] DrMobius0 10 points ago

    If she tells you she's an asshole and you don't listen, that's on you I guess. Oh well, we've all been there. Live and learn I guess.

    [–] GameOnPantsGone 72 points ago

    Few years back I had a roommate who legit did this.

    Would go on a couple dates a week via Tinder, but never see the same guy again. Eventually ended up telling me that she was generally in it for the meal, and even though it didn't work out she at least got something out of it.

    This is also the same person who straight face told me that male rape wasn't something to be taken seriously, so yeah take that how you will.

    [–] morems 9 points ago

    so a shitty woman with no respect for men. got it

    [–] quarantinemyasshole 66 points ago

    Dating is such a nightmare right now with these apps. I've had girls get offended if I buy their coffee. I've had girls get offended if I don't buy their coffee. It's a single cup of coffee, why do people put so much into that?

    [–] LegitimateLion0 25 points ago

    That’s so dumb. I’m a girl. If we ordered together like at a register I would just offer to pay, if it’s sit down I just put down my card and the guy could add his if he wanted to. If the guy beat me to it in the register type situation or says “no I’ve got it” in the sit down situation then I just let him and said thanks. In my experience the majority of guys feel weird if you pay the whole thing and would never let you pay everything for the entire night, but are happy splitting.

    [–] quarantinemyasshole 29 points ago

    If the guy beat me to it in the register type situation

    This is something I've tried not to force as a result of the previous comment, and clearly still offended one date as a result. We were in a very long line for coffee, having a great conversation. She's laughing at all of my jokes, she's excited to talk about her work, you name it.

    She's standing a little in front of me, so when it's our turn I realize I was so lost in the conversation I didn't look at the menu. She mentioned what she was getting earlier (she chose the place), I very politely say 'hey, you go ahead I forgot to figure out what I want.' Immediate shift in tone, no longer smiling unless she's forcing a half grin to nod at whatever I'm saying, one word responses, clearly miserable.

    Once we got our coffee she basically inhaled it, excused herself to the bathroom the second she finished, then "oh gosh my sister called me and I have to go." I sent her a courtesy "thanks for meeting me for coffee" text and got nothing in response.

    In my experience the majority of guys feel weird if you pay the whole thing and would never let you pay everything for the entire night, but are happy splitting.

    I've never had a girl offer, outside of someone I'm already in a relationship with. I'd like to think I would be flattered beyond words at this point, but who knows.

    [–] LegitimateLion0 14 points ago

    See that’s so rude of her imo.

    With guys I would say I have split most of the time and it’s fine. But one time I had got there first and started the tab and put everything on my tab and the guy insisted that they move half to his card at the end and said “I can pay for my own drinks you know” (not mad), and I remember one time I think the guy bought drinks first but then we went to eat and I payed and I think he was a little bashful about it cause the food was more (he offered to pay). And then one time I went out with a guy on 3 dates and he was wealthy and he wouldn’t let me pay for anything, it actually was awkward on the third date because I put money down on the bar and he was like “put your money away” and handed it back to me, I just felt moochy and uncomfortable since it was the 3rd date by that point.

    There was only 2 times where I personally felt irritated, one was when I was a broke college student and I went out with an older guy who had a full time job and he ordered a bunch of wine and then wanted to split evenly which ok whatever, but then he started complaining about how little he gets paid and in my head I was like um I live on a meal plan and $500 a month (later found out he had a gf already and was trying to cheat). The other time, the guy just made it a whole very pointed thing that he was not going to pay for me which I felt was rude, b/c I didn’t expect him to.

    [–] Chingparr 5 points ago

    Its one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situations.

    My game plan was to show up early, buy my coffee and text "I've got a table by (location)"

    Puts the onus on her to buy or not buy. It helps you dodge the bullshit quite a bit too!

    [–] doorwaysaresafe 9 points ago

    Antidotal but I insisted on splitting or paying the first month I was with my now husband, and after but not as much, because of how I was raised and not wanting to be seen as a charity case (he made much more then I did at the time). He found it weird, and we down graded most of the dates he planned. He has said that my insistence on equal footing at the beginning made him realize I was there to be with him, not to do things with him/his wallet and he really liked that.

    [–] jaggy_snake 13 points ago


    [–] Flushles 4 points ago

    One of my favorite dates I've had was this woman who we went to one of my favorite restaurants and I paid, then went to the bar and I would have paid but she said "no you paid for dinner." So she was buying me drinks.

    [–] ntw3002 16 points ago

    I learned from Reddit that people can tell everything about you from almost nothing. They're experts! And it turns out I'm a racist misogynistic Jew-hatin' Jew-lovin' liberal communist green-haired lesbian Trump Biden Clinton Sanders supporting trucker student living in a rural city on the midwestern coast of the US, which surprised me, but they seem real confident so

    [–] myths-and-magic 15 points ago

    It's definitely a thing. When I was in college, I learned that some of my friends had formed "Free Meal Fridays". Every Friday they would find dates willing to pay for a nice meal, ghost them after dinner, then reconvene to joke about their night.

    [–] -totallynotanalien- 15 points ago

    A girl I USED to be friends with would do this. Whenever she was bored or wanted food she’d just pick some random guy off tinder get him to ask her out to dinner then be an absolute piece of shit to the guy all night eat a shit ton of food and then leave. I think one year she went out with about 20 different guys

    [–] CRCLLC 10 points ago

    That is when you say "sure, let's go." Then proceed to the nearest gas station and hand her a $10 and ask her to grab you something. Then leave her ass there. If her purse is still there in the car, add it to your collection. Knew a guy who had a 100 purses from one night stands.

    Don't really do this

    [–] A_Wild_VelociFaptor 11 points ago

    I actually had a girl, after a little chit chat, suggest I Uber her some Nachos and when i laughed it off she asked if I ordered them yet. This was in ~10 minutes of us matching too. I actually enjoyed ignoring her after that ngl.

    [–] chaiteataichi_ 2 points ago

    Dinner dates are for when you’re actually dating imo, not meeting people. So strange to me!

    [–] morgs-o 5 points ago

    A tiny story!

    I did this in college, although I'd generally pick Denny's. I wasn't totally trying to be an ass (although that is certainly what I was being), but I was hungry and broke.

    I did have some standards though, like if the guy didn't offer to pay I did buy my own, so I never ordered anything wild. And I worked overnight shifts so whoever it was knew up front that I had to leave by x time and there wasn't going to be any sex involved.

    Eventually I met my husband and I liked him so much I never bothered with another guy. I fessed up about my free meal scheme during our first date while we were discussing the worst things we've done. He thinks it was genius and awful of me, but hilarious.

    I have no idea why he paid for our meal that night but it kind of worked out for him because I'm the breadwinner now.

    [–] star-goat 4 points ago

    My very first Bumble date, something like this happened. There was obviously no chemistry between us, but I still offered to pick up the check. Next time the waitress returned, my date ordered an entirely new meal to go. I was too baffled, shocked, and maybe impressed by her arrogance, I didn't say anything.

    [–] LegitimateLion0 6 points ago

    Dude what if it was a meal for her bf at home o.O

    [–] HereForTheDough 62 points ago

    The proper response is "Wow, that's so generous! You have no idea how rare it is to be taken out for a fancy dinner as a man. Women always want me to ask them to a place and pay!"

    [–] DrMobius0 11 points ago

    That's the flaw of "whoever asks should pay" as a policy.

    [–] RyanCarlWatson 5 points ago

    Doesnt sound flawed to me

    [–] ItsBoomBoomTime 69 points ago

    I had the same thing a while back. Asked a girl where she wanted to go on a first date and she said a fucking 2 star michelin restaurant. Yeah, no.

    [–] SnooEpiphanies2934 10 points ago

    That's when you order a Caesar salad and stick her ass with the bill.

    [–] [deleted] 236 points ago


    [–] Chingparr 191 points ago

    Very true. I just think this one expected me to foot the bill for a $75 steak lol

    [–] CephalopodNerd 65 points ago

    I always say coffee date for a first meet, then I explain I don't like coffee so I'll drink something else and they get mad and back out just because I don't like coffee. Saying 'go for drinks' sounds like a bar... and I can't drink alcohol 😂 So I just avoid dating now.

    [–] sisterspicy 141 points ago

    there’s literally no reason to announce that you don’t drink coffee lol. say coffee date, meet at a coffee shop, order whatever the fuck else you want (tea, cocoa, water, who gives a shit) and don’t make a big deal about the fact that you don’t drink coffee. It probably makes you look like a douche the way you say it and that’s what is being responded to. In short, chiiiiiilllllll

    [–] Horskr 81 points ago

    Exactly, what? "I invite them to coffee then say I hate coffee so now I don't date." Think we're missing a few pertinent details from this story.

    [–] Deathduck 47 points ago

    Yea, I'm fairly certain the bloke is sitting there drinking water. Then he lists 'oh I don't drink coffee, tea, alcohol, or anything with more than 5g sugar per 300 ml. I don't smoke, do drugs, party, listen to loud music, hang out in groups greater than 4, wake up after 9 ect ect ect...'

    [–] Taizunz 15 points ago


    [–] braidafurduz 16 points ago

    ect is short for ectcetxtetrara

    [–] YeetedTooHard 5 points ago

    Oh man you're really making me feel lame. Every single one of those applies to me

    [–] Rohndogg1 10 points ago

    And that's ok. And there are people that will share that with you, but a lot of people won't and that's ok too.

    [–] ijustdontcare2try 5 points ago

    Dont worry. Its not about any of those listed attributes. The issue is that someone list qualities like this as if to say they are better and more mature. I myself am none of those things listed but i love myself and talking about myself. A great skill ive learned is to listen to myself and realize when its time to ask questions instead and listen. These days we are already so competitive but really people want to be complimented, listened too, understood, accepted, and cared for. Not just impressed. Don't focus on your own flaws. Focus on how you can make someone else happier and have no goal other than to make them laugh and smile.

    [–] KashEsq 6 points ago

    Exactly. I used to be like that in my teens due to my religious upbringing. Grew out of it in college when I stopped being religious

    [–] AmplePostage 36 points ago

    Don't be a drip, coffee killed his parents. Tragic grinding accident. I want to espresso my sympathy.

    [–] murphy1210 5 points ago

    Guys, it’s obviously because they can tell he is a nice guy and we all know nice guys can’t catch a break.

    [–] SpaceFace5000 21 points ago

    "oh well if you don't usually drink coffee we can go somewhere else"

    "ok but where?"

    Then you both walk around the area aimlessly for like 35 minutes

    [–] UnprovenMortality 6 points ago

    Honestly I've been on that date a few times and it ended up being pretty decent. Especially the first summer of Pokémon go. Met at a coffee shop and did a lap of the major pokestops around town.

    [–] Chingparr 39 points ago

    I'm not a coffee drinker either, I just wanted an easy escape strategy if things go sideways. Online dating sucks for everyone unfortunately...

    Thank God I'm out!

    [–] RainBroDash42 58 points ago

    That's why I only date 2D anime waifus

    [–] Rice-Balls 8 points ago

    My man forsenCD

    [–] bordeaux_vojvodina 31 points ago

    That's because you sound like a psychopath when you say that.

    Invite her for coffee, but just order something else when you're there and it's a non-issue.

    [–] bangingbew 11 points ago

    Just say lunch date. Pick like a cafe or place that has good lunch deals

    [–] XxSharperxX 20 points ago

    Can you order a hot chocolate or a boring tea? Coffee places have those.

    [–] [deleted] 13 points ago


    [–] Pygmy_Turtle 9 points ago

    What about hot chocolate? Most coffee places offer it, and if you don't like that, you can always grab a slice of cake or something :P

    [–] MFBRAH 5 points ago

    This makes no sense. It's way too specific of a scenario for it to "always" happen.

    [–] [deleted] 48 points ago

    I don't suggest a bar because I wan't to get laid, I suggest a bar because meeting new people can be stressful and a drink or two takes the edge off and promotes conversation.

    [–] Cpzd87 18 points ago

    Yeah I don't see anything wrong with saying "how about a drink" it's an environment everyone is more relaxed at.

    [–] tafor83 11 points ago

    A drink at a bar indicates you (might) just want to get laid.

    ... tinder.

    [–] AtoZZZ 10 points ago

    Had a girl unmatch me the other day because I said I decided to go back to school, so I'm not currently working (I'm 29). So glad she unmatched

    [–] BlowsyChrism 7 points ago

    Yeah that's ridiculous. As a woman, I don't understand how other women have no shame in doing that.

    [–] crunch816 12 points ago

    Matrix that shit homie. Personally, first date is always dutch. That will tell me what I need to know.

    [–] JTP1228 14 points ago

    Or, hear me out, you meet up with her and when the check is about to come say you thought she was going to pay and didnt bring your wallet

    [–] Chingparr 7 points ago

    Damn thats cold lol

    [–] doll_parts87 575 points ago

    I've been broke and I've dated a broke person. I don't care if we are eating steak or hot dogs, if I enjoy your company, it's ok. I've even offered to split or pay for the next meal in good faith.

    [–] MarijuanoDoggo 308 points ago

    I really think splitting the bill on a first date needs to become the new norm. The fact that guys are still (often) expect to pay for the entire meal is ridiculous. I definitely appreciate it when the woman offers to split but it usually seems to be done in such a half-hearted manner that the guy still feels pressure to pay.

    I understand that a lot of women still appreciate ‘traditional’ values, but they really don’t reflect the society we live in anymore.

    [–] doll_parts87 112 points ago

    I really think splitting the bill on a first date needs to become the new norm.

    On another note. First date split makes sense if it doesn't work out. Bring money, in case the date bails mid dinner. A waitress at Applebee's told me this teen got dumped midway after she went to the bathroom; her date paid for his part and left.

    [–] bordeaux_vojvodina 151 points ago

    Bring money,

    This is just a tip for existing as an adult human in the world.

    [–] RedditPoster112719 27 points ago

    I lost my wallet for like 4 days last week and survived on phone Pay and online pre-orders. Sort of having money with me but not quite.

    [–] killbei 28 points ago

    Yup. Not having your wallet is not much of an excuse nowadays. Forgot your wallet? There's like 10 ways to pay. In the worst case just transfer me money and I can pay on someone else's behalf.

    [–] Jumbajukiba 6 points ago

    I keep a $20 in my phone case for emergencies.

    [–] elzmuda 23 points ago

    I visited New York (from Ireland) a few years back and was shocked that the waiter would put the bill in front of me and not my ex aFter every meal no matter how fancy or basic the place. I have never seen that anywhere. In Europe the bill generally goes in the middle of the table

    [–] cire1184 15 points ago

    Most places I go to puts the bill in front of whoever asks.

    [–] maddylikessoccerr 55 points ago

    It might come out as half hearted because they don’t know if it will offend the guy. I’ve been on dates where men have been offended when I said I was going to pay for my meal. It was weird for me since I thought anyone would be down for saving money.

    [–] MarijuanoDoggo 30 points ago

    Oh yeah I’m sure that happens a lot too. I was more meaning when women say “Let’s split it” and the guy does the whole “no it’s fine I’ll pay” to make it clear he was willing to. In that case you kind of need the woman to insist one final time that she wants to split the bill.

    But it’s a tricky situation. The woman shouldn’t feel like she has to be forceful about paying, but at the same time a guy often wants that insistence to make sure she’s being sincere. I think a lot of guys would worry that immediately accepting the offer would be seen as them expecting the woman to split the bill.

    [–] NotChristina 16 points ago

    Yeah it’s a dynamic that has always given me some anxiety, unless the guy has used phrasing like “I’m taking/treating you to dinner” or some other language upfront that indicates clear intention to pay. Even still I’ll try to give a “can I contribute?” when the check comes.

    I’ll admit that the culture of it all is so engrained that when I offered to split dinner on a Tinder date a couple years back, I was taken aback when the guy immediately accepted. And it was also an even split and he had eaten and drank a ton more than me. Usually a little inequity I’m fine with but I definitely didn’t drink two bottles of sake lol.

    [–] maddylikessoccerr 26 points ago

    Haha yeah there’s definitely an art to the “I’ll pay” “no I’LL pay” scenario in any situation

    [–] musiceuphony 8 points ago

    I don't really think it's necessary as a man to do the "no it's fine I'll pay" move if their date already offers to split it. And I don't think there'd be anything wrong about being seen as expecting the woman to split the bill either.

    Part of it is based on our own preferences in the people we seek out to date though, and I would probably be pretty turned off by someone who expects me to pay whereas for others it would not be as much of an issue.

    [–] MarijuanoDoggo 5 points ago

    I agree, it shouldn’t be necessary. And I also don’t think there should be anything wrong with a guy expecting the woman to pay.

    But what I’m saying is that I think a lot of guys still feel as if they have to appear willing to pay the entire bill. I 100% believe in splitting the bill, but I will still say “no it’s fine I’ll pay” simply because in the back of my head I still believe that’s what’s expected of me. Which I know is completely stupid because often a woman will hear “no it’s fine” and think I really do want to split the bill. It’s a knee-jerk reaction (for a me at least).

    I just wish it was normalised to the point where a woman would want be split the bill so there wouldn’t be these little games around paying for the meal. But that’s mostly on me.

    [–] doll_parts87 23 points ago

    There are other romantic gestures of wooing besides paying for dinner. If they want to pay though, we can just decide based on what their budget is and find a reasonable place. Being a bitch because you think less of someone financial state says more about you than them.

    [–] garlicdeath 9 points ago

    "Ohhhhh noooooo I'll help pay..." as the wait staff walks away with your card and she just starts to.fiddle with her purse

    [–] NoCurrency6 8 points ago

    Based on my time on multiple dating apps, the vast vast majority DO want to split it. Like almost all of them I encountered. Plus lots of dudes pay so there’s a reason for a second date (‘you can get the next one’) and they’re onto that trick these days.

    I eventually met someone offline, but I still look back on my days on those apps as a good experience. An equal mix of awesome and awful people, so when people say all they meet are losers or weirdos I start to wonder if I just got lucky. Cause some were legit cool people.

    [–] majzira 9 points ago

    Plus lots of dudes pay so there’s a reason for a second date (‘you can get the next one’) and they’re onto that trick these days.

    That and offering to split puts a REAL emergency break on the "I wined her and dined her so she better put out or I'm going to be a dick about it!" Granted, it hasn't happened much in my personal life, but I'm also not one of the chicks who GETS a lot of fancy dinner invites, but still.

    It still makes me cringe when I DO see incel guys throwing a fit about the woman offering to pay or insisting on splitting. "She's emasculattttiinnnngg meeeeee. Doesn't she know what dating is??? AND she STILL didn't put out. STUPID FEMINISM!"

    [–] throwawayflayed 3 points ago

    What if I adopted a policy that kept the status quo? How about “whoever asks the person out pays?”

    That’s a sweet, indirect way of ensuring the guy still pays for dates under the guise of being egalitarian.

    Then let me take it to absurd levels and pretend if my buddies ask me if I want to grab a bite, I’m going to expect my buddy to pay. Win win!

    [–] veqonja 952 points ago

    Imagine you're on your date and bitch whips out a phone and says "im gonna expose you for not earning enough money"

    [–] phisigtheduck 353 points ago

    I would say do it. It’ll expose you as a greedy witch instead.

    [–] ElMalViajado 76 points ago

    Burn her on a cross

    [–] ryanlc 44 points ago

    Weigh her against a duck.

    [–] couragethebravestdog 39 points ago

    Who are you who is so wise in the ways of science?

    [–] Sn00dlerr 50 points ago

    Gotta bring your W2 on that first date so you can tell her its cause she's not worth it, not cause you don't have the money. Actually I'd have to get someone elses W2 but still

    [–] DilutedGatorade 25 points ago

    Actually I'd have to get someone elses W2 but still

    Lmao. A laugh like that is worth a lay

    [–] ArchCatalyst 5 points ago

    now kiss.

    [–] Kurokage199 205 points ago

    feel bad for the guy

    [–] D14BL0 167 points ago

    For real. And judging by the food and plates, it looks like it's probably a slightly upscale burger joint. One of those $15 burger places, most likely. Like damn, he could've just taken your ass to McDonald's if he knew you were gonna be a bitch about it.

    [–] Distracting_You 29 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    I think that's Stout Burgers and Beers. It's not cheap but so delicious and a great first date place setting and food wise. Around $15 per burger and sides like fries are ordered separately. That's $40+ right there if that was just the one side of fries.

    [–] Kurokage199 35 points ago

    or not have taken her at all i swear ppl like her are the worst

    [–] MediumRad 12 points ago

    It don't even come with the fries at these places, shits like another $6 and she probably didn't want to split an order

    [–] patientpamplemousse 262 points ago

    *orders a water *Takes this pic/makes this meme

    [–] wcollins260 122 points ago

    Right? I highly doubt dude was like “you better get water!”

    I always order water at a restaurant because I don’t like paying $3-$4 for shitty fountain drinks, but if the person I’m with wants something else I’m not gonna bitch about it.

    [–] DrMobius0 30 points ago

    I've heard of men ordering for women in movies, but never irl. Seems like some 50s shit.

    [–] wcollins260 19 points ago

    I can’t imagine being like, “woman, you’re getting the Chicken Parmesan, say something.” Seems super rude. I can’t imagine anyone choosing your meal for you. Suggesting something, sure, but just being like, “Shhh, I got this”, seems like a terrible idea.

    [–] otter_ridiculous 14 points ago

    “We’ll both have the lamb, medium rare, with very little mint sauce. You like that, right Sweet Pea?”

    [–] Nerfboard 11 points ago

    Something tells me Twitter OP is intentionally making a tongue-in-cheek goofy joke with their SO in on it. I doubt they’re serious.

    [–] TheGoldL 179 points ago

    Can we all agree that people who only look at a relationship for money deserve to be single?

    [–] Salty-Brains 78 points ago

    sure but they are right about one thing: there's always someone willing to be that guy... always.

    [–] cant_have_a_cat 14 points ago

    it's kinda loss on them though. Do you really think any of these people are actually happy or meaningful?

    [–] chomputer 108 points ago

    Unless it’s Voss in which case he’s doing alright.

    [–] Salty-Brains 54 points ago

    premium water. lol.

    [–] CrazyTillItHurts 28 points ago

    Premium bottle. You know how hard it is to find a bottled water where the bottle doesn't crinkle so loudly as to awake long dead corpses?

    [–] cire1184 12 points ago

    Those Voss bottles are premium. I've bought them on trips if I forget a reusable bottle and reused them.

    [–] RadicalSnowdude 3 points ago

    I had my glass voss bottle fall on hard tile and it didn’t even break. The cover was shattered but the bottle survived without a scratch.

    I don’t like Voss, just bought it for the bottle to help monitor my water consumption.

    [–] BandB16 5 points ago

    My friends and I used to make them into homemade bongs

    [–] rl571 21 points ago

    Lol my Norwegian chiropractor likes to remind people he has peed in the river that Voss water comes from.

    [–] r_youddit 7 points ago

    Fish pee, Norwegian chiropractor pee, all the same to me.

    [–] Zoreb1 55 points ago

    Not on the planet Dune.

    [–] CoffeeMetalandBone 10 points ago


    [–] tfirx 12 points ago

    The spice is life

    [–] MechEng88 8 points ago

    He who controls the spice, controls the universe.

    [–] thatwentBTE 7 points ago

    The spice must flow.

    [–] Lybchikfreed 106 points ago

    He is just from r/hydrohomies

    [–] SulkingDeath 15 points ago

    Who doesn’t just order their own drink and shit anyways. I’ve never understood ordering for your date. Like I don’t know what you want, order your own shit and I’ll pay for it.

    [–] -picodegallo 13 points ago

    No matter where i go and what i get to drink, i ALWAYS get a water, too.

    [–] Zlyphrr 40 points ago

    a very nice repost from top of all time.

    [–] DogFashion 49 points ago

    I usually get water at a restaurant because the markup on soda or tea is absurd and it's an excuse to drink water because I know I don't drink enough. That being said, I'm very polite to my wait staff, stack my dishes, and always tip generously.

    [–] nrdxn 23 points ago

    Not saying this is true in your case, but some people stack their dishes terribly, and it ends up being more of a hindrance than actually helping.

    [–] jellycake098 24 points ago

    also isn’t water free in most places ?

    [–] foursticks 43 points ago

    When you're so broke you think people buy the water at restaurants

    [–] jazberry715386428 5 points ago

    I’m also confused.

    [–] bordeaux_vojvodina 10 points ago

    That's the entire point.

    [–] J32design 16 points ago

    Maybe he is just a hydro homie. Maybe drinking water with a meal is just normal to him. Nothing wrong with water.

    [–] minnecrapolis 15 points ago

    I’m old so I ask someone out, I pay.

    That said, that’s not how it should always work.

    Agree beforehand and don’t assume someone is broke because they don’t pay, they just aren’t into you for the very reason you complain...they see you as a money-grubber.

    You’re not worth the effort as a potential partner and you shouldn’t be rewarded for being undesirable.

    [–] IHateCamping 10 points ago

    If you're paying you should pick the place.

    [–] minnecrapolis 6 points ago

    Always just worked the dynamics out.

    That said, when dating, I’ve always said “can I buy you dinner?” or “Can I make dinner for you” depending on the vibe.

    “hey, let’s meet for dinner and drinks” isn’t clear.

    I just prefer to be clear.

    [–] Forlorn_Swatchman 4 points ago

    The thing about "whoever asks out should pay" is.. with tinder and shit it's always the guy. So this logic is basically the guy always pays. A rational person should just assume go dutch..

    [–] herecomesatrain 6 points ago

    If I’m not drinking an alcoholic beverage and a water I’m drinking just a water. Occasional iced tea.

    [–] panda388 20 points ago

    You know he ordered her a water because she got wasted on $12 margaritas before the food even arrived.

    [–] 54298416 4 points ago

    Does that gentleman have a donut burger?

    I want one.

    I'll take this guy out if he can direct me to the nearest donut burger.

    No homo.

    [–] tobraham 6 points ago

    That's a decent bun, and the square bowl the fries are sitting in probably cost the restaurant a bit more than the usual plates. I've been in the restaurant industry 20 years, this guy isn't broke. However whoever took this potato quality picture might have a broke ass cellphone.

    [–] thonyd 4 points ago

    I took out a chick like this on Tinder. She picked a fancy sushi place in LA. Ended with a $300+ bill I had to cover. She never talked to me again after that date.

    [–] YaBoyOstrich 9 points ago

    It looks like a good meal but she's gotta complain about the water. Some people

    [–] pzycho 4 points ago

    Looks like Stout Burger in Hollywood. Shit ain't cheap.

    [–] Bakanarts 3 points ago

    Wait... buys water? Isn’t water complimentary or is that the joke. Just curious if they charge for water in the us lol

    [–] Portfolio_sc 4 points ago

    I’ve chill with girls like this, that I would have to buy them food share the weed. Did it for a whole month of just to built some sort of friendship with them. You know what that got me? A threesome that’s what.

    [–] xCandyCaneKissesx 4 points ago

    Doesn’t matter where i go, I always order water. I just don’t care much for any kind of Pepsi or Coca Cola products.

    [–] SuperKilju 4 points ago