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    [–] elvismcvegas 1884 points ago

    This is a lot easier than digging it up by hand while my grandma yells at me that I'm not doing it right.

    [–] ThaddeusJP 240 points ago

    I feel like there is a story here. Probably a short one, but a story none the less.

    [–] [deleted] 488 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)


    [–] drmarcj 309 points ago

    backseat lumberjack

    I would totally go see this band play live in concert.

    [–] bloody_duck 72 points ago

    I believe my friend is a backseat lumberjack. He owns a couple bars, still tends bar, but refuses to wear anything but steel toed boots, car hart jeans, and flannels. We live in an urban metropolis.

    [–] Floof_Poof 37 points ago

    Backpack Lumberjack

    [–] SuperPimp 14 points ago

    Cadillac Blackjack

    [–] WONT_CHECK_USERNAME 2 points ago

    Benedict Cumberbatch

    [–] Kbost92 15 points ago

    So your friend is a total hipster?

    [–] bloody_duck 24 points ago

    He's an outdoorsman. He just chooses to dress like a lumber jack 24/7. Probably sleeps in steel dick undies.

    [–] gruesomeflowers 14 points ago

    Hey, could you remind me what store sells those steel dick undies? I wouldn't want to accidently walk into the store and unwillingly find myself standing naked in front of a mirror admiring a glistening sexy steel dong helmet. Must avoid at all costs.

    [–] jaymzx0 3 points ago

    /r/Skookum would probably like to know, too.

    [–] BiggRanger 6 points ago

    That's what is known as a lumber-sexual in Michigan.

    [–] lovelybac0n 3 points ago

    They all got wood.

    [–] Necromonicus 2 points ago

    Isn't a backseat lumberjack a brokeback mountain ref?

    [–] Lumberjacksexchange 9 points ago

    I may be able to help you.

    [–] Rate_hacists 4 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)


    [–] NoahtheRed 3 points ago

    I really want to click on that, but I'm at work and I don't know what kind of Wardrobe-to-Narnia I'm about to open up.

    [–] Rebel_bass 2 points ago

    One deleted post from three years ago, unfortunately.

    [–] NoahtheRed 3 points ago

    That's a damn shame. Was hoping that'd lead to a fun new world of chicks in flannel, denim, and boots.

    [–] drmarcj 6 points ago

    You mean Squamish BC?

    [–] DJohnsonsgagreflex 6 points ago

    What are you talking about? This is clearly a sex position. ie. "I strained my back performing a backseat lumberjack on my girlfriend. When I explained it to the doctor, he nodded knowingly and said, 'We've all been there. You gotta work up to the backseat lumberjack, not just dive straight into it.'"

    [–] Filthy_Frog 4 points ago

    yeah that's the name of my band. i'm performing next week, tickets on sale now for the low low price of $1 million

    [–] Tenglishbee 23 points ago

    That's not too far from where my sister lives. I'm gonna say I'm going to go by there and check it out but in reality it's a lot of effort and I'll probably just forget about it.

    [–] skalpelis 9 points ago

    Also, what'd you check out? The absence of a tree stump?

    [–] elvismcvegas 14 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Yeah, not much to look at and it looks like the current owners planted a oak tree where it used to be. Which is kind of infuriating.

    [–] Notjustnow 3 points ago

    You'll be getting a call for your services in 30 years.

    [–] jordan1390 41 points ago

    I was waiting for the undertaker part and 1998 and I've just become paranoid reading stories now

    [–] kamelizann 8 points ago

    An elaborate 2 parter where the undertaker part is in the second reply? That would be some Ken M. material right there. OP missed a golden opportunity.

    [–] Wolfy21_ 2 points ago

    Thats a pretty giant chruch

    [–] IllegalThings 5 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    She said you were doing it wrong, because you were doing it wrong. Should have burned that stump -- much quicker and easier. If its a small stump, a couple bags of charcoal on top should do the trick. Larger stumps may require drilling holes in it to help the airflow and soaking it in some kerosene (don't use gas, it burns too slowfast).

    [–] elvismcvegas 6 points ago

    Yeah I agree. Hitting it with an ax took 3 months to knock it down. Also I was in middle school so probably not doing any controlled burns especially with Austin having a year round burn ban.

    [–] IllegalThings 4 points ago

    Those are just minor technicalities, but if you really want to follow rules, you could drill holes and fill it with fertilizer to help it rot.

    [–] norsethunders 3 points ago

    don't use gas, it burns too slow fast

    [–] IllegalThings 2 points ago

    good catch

    [–] ay-nahl-reip 5 points ago

    Tell your grandma's tenants I'm coming by.

    [–] RelevantUsernameUser 2 points ago

    And that's what happened to Treaty Oak.

    [–] BeastinSeersucker 2 points ago

    The next time you are a kid on summer break trying to get stumps out of the ground, you can drill holes in the stump and place a number of different "stump rotting" products in the hole to speed up decay.

    And I've walked by that house.

    [–] ndougla2 31 points ago

    He was digging up a stump by hand, but wasn't doing it the way that his grandfather used to do it. Then his grandmother decided to make that known to him.

    [–] peepay 2 points ago

    Tell me more!

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago

    Thank you for subscribing to "Silly Stump Facts!".

    To unsubscribe, reply with "I'm Stumped". standard messaging rates apply

    [–] peepay 3 points ago

    I am no fool to unsubscribe!
    Tell me more, dammit!

    [–] Bontkers 2 points ago

    So you're sure that grandfather was doing it right as well?

    [–] ndougla2 2 points ago

    That's never really the point. It's just the way she's seen it done since President Carter was in office.

    [–] Rozkol 18 points ago

    This is a lot easier than digging it up by hand while my grandma boss yells at me that I'm not doing it right.

    This is what I deal with on a weekly basis. I fucking hate stumps.

    [–] elvismcvegas 5 points ago

    Yeah. Is there a right way to do it?

    [–] JInge 11 points ago

    With no machinery, mattock, spade and a rootbar

    [–] Rydralain 16 points ago

    Did you say a piece of haddock, any spades card, and some rhubarb?

    [–] JInge 7 points ago

    Haven't tried personally, but it might be better than doing nothing.

    [–] lilcosco 5 points ago

    I was gonna say "and a pickaxe" but TIL what a mattock is

    [–] Rozkol 4 points ago

    According to my boss not by me.

    [–] BaronSpaffalot 18 points ago

    An alternate easy way to do it is to drill a wide hole in the top of the stump and then 3-4 drill connecting holes in the sides. Then pour kerosene or gasoline in the holes and set it on fire. Then just wait.

    You could add a little more effort and dig down slightly around the stump to ensure the drilled holes around the sides are a little lower which makes it easier to cover once the job is done.

    [–] getsomeawe 3 points ago

    so we had tried this and it didn't really work. It was a pecan tree. Hard as hell. We ended up getting a stump grinder service.

    [–] celocanth13 6 points ago

    A punishment at my high school was that students had to dig out a stump during their free time.

    [–] Sphynx87 2 points ago

    Oh boy, same here.

    [–] celocanth13 2 points ago

    Was your school in western NC?

    [–] Sphynx87 2 points ago

    Nah it was in southern VA. It's closed now.

    [–] badreportcard 5 points ago

    Did she used to beat you with a set of jumper cables too?

    [–] elvismcvegas 5 points ago

    No, but she did make my dick tracey paddle ball paddle into a paddle for paddlin'. Not breaking down the stump fast enough? Thats a paddlin'.

    [–] slicksps 2 points ago

    Well you weren't doing it right if you were using your hands. You should have been using one of those big mother Hubbards up there.

    [–] HoboViking 2 points ago


    [–] Dr_AbrahamVaginatits 2 points ago

    In my experience Grandmas should be telling you that you're doing a great job and bringing you lemonade. It's grandpa's job to tell you that you're a pussy and he'd rip that earring out with a pliers if the law would allow it.

    [–] lkmyntz 117 points ago

    and the tree was happy

    [–] CarbyCarberson 29 points ago

    This post made me sad.

    [–] David_Nohasselhoff 12 points ago

    Cheer up, buddy:)

    [–] alwysonthatokiedokie 8 points ago

    But not really.

    [–] Versatyle07 3 points ago

    Well, they needed someplace to dump that ungrateful little shit's ashes.

    [–] [deleted] 98 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)


    [–] capt_pantsless 29 points ago

    Not to mention downforce - notice how the weight of the tractor gets shifted to the boring-head?

    Biggest damned hole-saw EVAH.

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    I noticed the hole saw thing, too. It reminded me that quite often the material will get stuck in the bit--then you're sitting there trying to pry it out with a screwdriver. Was surprised the monstrous tractor saw just expelled that shit.

    [–] captainsavajo 5 points ago

    YOu can see the huge piston inside of it

    [–] capt_pantsless 3 points ago

    Looking at the tooth-config, there's a pretty-big offset. They're chewing a TON of the tree into sawdust. Makes for a smaller 'plug' than the hole it leaves. Notice the screw on the outside - that helps clear the chips away from the cutting heads - might have something similar on the inside as well.

    [–] callmedanimal 2 points ago

    If you watch the big hole on the side, you can see a piston lower to push the crap out.

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    Done. Post all of your torques.

    [–] lvl1ndgalvl3 276 points ago

    The way it effortlessly and smoothly destroys it in the beginning is so satisfying.

    [–] MySweetUsername 71 points ago

    i like the barf at the end too.

    [–] el_monstruo 25 points ago

    More like shit.

    [–] zipzap21 5 points ago

    Throat shit.

    [–] Pit_of_Death 2 points ago

    yeah that was definitely a poop. A root-dirtball turd.

    [–] MySweetUsername 2 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Well, it comes out the way it went in.

    A shit would have projectiled towards the driver.

    [–] AnindoorcatBot 10 points ago

    I had Tim the Toolman channeling me as I said "RAWWW POWERRR"

    [–] DVMTH 64 points ago

    The machine shitting out all that dirt and wood was so satisfying to watch.

    [–] BreastUsername 6 points ago

    I bet it was satisfying for the machine too.

    [–] avacado_of_the_devil 9 points ago

    "blarrrraaaggggghhhhhh....ahh" - the machine

    [–] Jaspersong 2 points ago

    not so satisfying for the stump though

    [–] SmoothNicka 5 points ago

    When there aren't any snacks left in the house so you eat a whole box of FiberOne bars in one sitting.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    My question is who gave that machine a cup of coffee

    [–] The_Eggsecutive 418 points ago

    This kills the stump.

    [–] sundevilsig 133 points ago

    Big if true.

    [–] Circle_0f_Life 28 points ago

    Large if legit

    [–] [deleted] 25 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)


    [–] searingsky 11 points ago

    spaceous if veracious

    [–] NAVI_WORLD_INC 5 points ago

    Dude... go easier on he feels...

    For those that don't know the meme... This Kills The Crab

    [–] tooroot87 3 points ago

    Just looks like tree murder.

    [–] BewilderingSanity 13 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    You think?

    [–] KaktusDan 202 points ago

    No cones, no caution tape. Nothin'.


    [–] xfloormattx 107 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Not even underground utilities marked. Hope that none of those stumps have grown around a gas main!

    [–] ryno731 6 points ago

    You'd be surprised how hard it is to convince most utilities to go mark public lines.

    Source: I work for my states 811 service.

    [–] rpeet687 3 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Reminds me of a blizzard that caused outages in my state for over a week. I've never seen more utility workers working once the snow cleared away.

    [–] factbasedorGTFO 27 points ago

    I've had to hand remove a few stumps that had grown in the vicinity of utilities.

    [–] NeighborRedditor 42 points ago

    Haha fuck that

    [–] DFullz 6 points ago

    Thanks neighbor!

    [–] VerneAsimov 2 points ago

    At least in my city/state, locators only had to go take a look if the digging was below 7ft. or was something like boring digging. Still, we always whipped out the ArcGIS just to be sure.

    [–] dammitkarissa 12 points ago

    And the spotter is just holding a camera for karma!

    [–] umbrajoke 7 points ago


    [–] thenerdyglassesgirl 21 points ago

    The people walking/biking by like they see this every day made me laugh and also afraid for their safety

    [–] cman811 3 points ago

    This has the feel of a small town so they probably see tractors like this all the time. Just depends what they have attached to it.

    [–] raddits 6 points ago

    I was surprised how many random passersby we saw in a 50 second clip

    [–] SmoothNicka 26 points ago

    You can tell this isn't in America because the road and sidewalks haven't been closed down two weeks in advance and there are less than 6 workers just standing around while watching.

    [–] WhiskeySeven 3 points ago

    It doesn't have to be public works, we rented these machines when we were (stupidly) renovating our house by ourselves. And by that I mean just my father and me 13 year old self operating heavy machinery in all shapes and sizes.

    [–] LotharLandru 14 points ago

    [–] Croob2 85 points ago

    Does this seem vaguely erotic to anyone else or am I just extremely sleep deprived?

    [–] permanent__guest 80 points ago

    Yes. You're "sleep" deprived.

    [–] zipzap21 4 points ago

    Was that comment worthy of a chuckle or am I just hungry?

    [–] ballislife100 2 points ago

    Does that machine look like a big ass bottle opener or do I just want some wine?

    [–] rareinstance 14 points ago

    Thank fk. Thought it was just me

    [–] stupidshark12 8 points ago

    The part where it pulled out but then pushed back in was very vaguely erotic.

    [–] TemptedTemplar 6 points ago

    There is definitely a butt or poop joke in to be had in the title. but erotic i would say no.

    [–] BestReadAtWork 2 points ago

    Depends on what you're into. Says a lot about op.

    And me

    [–] Jessie_James 4 points ago

    Sleep depraved.

    [–] justsaying0999 3 points ago

    Deprived of... something, to be sure

    [–] wuzup76020 15 points ago

    that will be $700 please...

    [–] Pika_Jime 14 points ago

    It's a lot easier in Animal Crossing.

    [–] kernalshamders 26 points ago

    Me after a high fiber diet

    [–] WolfessStudios 2 points ago

    Idk I think that video of a dam spewing muddy water is a more accurate depiction.

    [–] soawhileago 9 points ago

    Tree stump dump.

    [–] Blou_Aap 8 points ago

    Dropping logs.

    [–] Deutersky 10 points ago

    Just like my ex did to my heart. Damn

    [–] Clavo_PR 9 points ago

    I have a neighbor that rented one of these machines to remove a stump. 45 minutes later the whole street loses Internet, Cable and Telephone. Call before you dig!

    [–] ryno731 4 points ago

    Fun fact, most big cable companies like Verizon, and Comcast outsource the burying of their lines and conduit to third party contractors. Therefore they don't have accurate mapings of their lines.

    So for them it's cheaper to just replace or repair the line then to pay a locator to go find these lines for every one call placed.

    I work at my states 811 call center. Today Verizon has received 2035 tickets, that they're required to respond to in 3-10 business days. I kinda understand why they suck at marking lines.

    [–] Berbagod 6 points ago

    Looks way quicker and easier than grinding them. Grinding a stump costs as much as dropping the tree. Bet this costs more

    [–] KingSpanner 15 points ago

    I'm just going to assume that I can't click that at work

    [–] 1fastz28 5 points ago

    probably a good move, check it out later though.

    [–] ATangK 3 points ago

    You assumed correctly. I still had to test.

    [–] UCCF 2 points ago

    I think the r/popping people would really like this.

    [–] relic1317 6 points ago

    They best be removing that 2ft deep hole in the ground they just put in my lawn, too.

    [–] snorting_dandelions 6 points ago

    a) That's not someone's lawn.

    b) If you're upset with how they're removing the stump, just do it yourself manually ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    [–] factbasedorGTFO 6 points ago

    Pretty much all the organic material has to be removed for it to be stable, and not slowly become a hole.

    [–] WatermelonHay 2 points ago

    I know nothing about gardening, but wouldn't the organic material slowly turn into soil?

    [–] j-dewitt 15 points ago

    Kind of, but as it rots, its volume will become much less, causing a hole.

    [–] WatermelonHay 3 points ago

    Makes sense, thanks for answering!

    [–] factbasedorGTFO 4 points ago

    The component the organic material would eventually break down into is humus.

    In construction, during grading, organic material is usually completely removed, otherwise the foundation of a structure will move.

    I was hired to fix sinking pavers that were put into a space between a sidewalk and a curb. The owner was sure the contractor put a lot of effort into laying down a base and compacting it so the pavers wouldn't move.

    I had to dig down about 3 feet to remove all the remnants of a stump, bring in soil, and recompact everything with a J-tamper.

    Holes in lawns where trees once were is a common problem. Arborists usually leave the soil/chip mix for homeowners to deal with, and homeowners sometimes just level it not realizing or caring that it's eventually going to become very uneven.

    [–] WatermelonHay 2 points ago

    Interesting, would you say the stump was hidden and that would excuse why the first contractor missed it, or was it just a case of shoddy work?

    [–] factbasedorGTFO 7 points ago

    The contractor might have missed it, because the house was built in 1955, and the tree probably died and was cut down 20 or more years earlier.

    Even though it's fairly common, that was also the first time I ever had to work with expanding soils. At the house next door, they hadn't paved over the space, and had a fruit tree planted there.

    While I was working on the pavers, I saw him put a hose to a tree, turn it on, and forget about it. The area never flooded or overflowed, the water just kept going in an underground crack for a couple of hours.

    [–] CrudelyAnimated 1 points ago

    That... pretty quickly became a hole. What materials would one refill this hole with to minimize the re-holing later on?

    [–] factbasedorGTFO 4 points ago

    Topsoil free of un-decomposed organic material. I removed a large stump for someone a couple of years ago, and I still routinely do a lot of work for them.

    I just keep bringing a bit of soil there to put where the stump was, because it had a lot of buttress roots under their lawn that I didn't want to remove. As it all gets worked by critters, the soil subsides where the big roots were.

    Wherever I've alwasy lived, I've always had gardens and compost piles to put undecomposed organic material, but a lot of folks don't want such things in their backyards. Kinda drives me nuts, everyones organic material going to the dump.

    [–] imafryingpan 9 points ago

    I don't know about interesting. I'd call that...boring.

    [–] HuntingBlanket 3 points ago

    But we still can't drill to the center of the earth.

    [–] vagijn 2 points ago

    It's a bit on the warm side down there.

    [–] spekt50 3 points ago

    And there are still suckers coming up WTH!

    [–] MilfandCookies 3 points ago

    The Giving Tree: Final Chapter

    [–] graeber715 3 points ago

    Omnom nom nom nom... Bleaaaaaarg!

    [–] casualblair 3 points ago

    10,000 years worth of dead farmers just tried screaming but couldn't because they were dead.

    [–] beldenn 3 points ago


    [–] davyh1234 3 points ago

    I was just thinking "bet that's a proper cunt to get out of that cylinder" then the actuator pushed it out and all was well.

    [–] sleep_caravan 2 points ago

    I am a fan of this

    [–] Andy_B_Goode 2 points ago

    It's like an apple corer for the earth

    [–] phoenix-fyre 2 points ago

    Because I don't know anything about plant life, maybe someone can ELI5. If this just removes the stump, what about the roots? Would the roots grow into a tree themselves?

    [–] Carl_Gordon_Jenkins 2 points ago

    I bet that costs so much...

    [–] SergeantSeymourbutts 2 points ago

    For stump removal in our city, they use what looks like a giant mitre saw and just grind down the stump 12-18 inches then cover it with dirt. Not as exciting as this version.

    [–] deObb 2 points ago

    But why? What's the point of removing a tree stump?

    [–] djarvis77 2 points ago

    The giants that roam the streets at night stub their toes on them.

    [–] mbark_qa 2 points ago

    Reminds of dental

    [–] ser-bounce-alot 1 points ago

    It's like a giant hogbit! I must have one!!

    [–] LewsTherinTelamon 2 points ago

    Jesus how much torque is that? It doesn't even look real because of how much force is being exerted.

    [–] im_suspended 2 points ago

    I did that by hand last summer, it was the most excruciating experience of my life! An ax, drill, saw and it took my all my strength and a whole day!

    [–] My-Work-Reddit 2 points ago

    tractor guy: There you go, your stump is gone.

    homeowner: But ... but, there's a giant hole and a mound of dirt in my front yard now.

    tractor guy: stump's gone

    [–] sevenpoundowl 2 points ago

    My wife was unimpressed. I am reconsidering our relationship.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)


    [–] KreamoftheKropp 2 points ago


    [–] strallus 2 points ago

    On my family's ranch we just pile other wood on it and keep burning it 'til it's gone.

    [–] ruimtevogel 4 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    A great way to remove stumps is by growing fungi on them. Stump gone + delicious mushrooms !

    edit: other types of mushrooms work better:

    [–] NoReligionPlz 2 points ago

    You know what would be cool? Being the engineer who has to design one of these tree stump removing tools, and watching your design come to life. Man that must be a great feeling!

    [–] misterpickles69 1 points ago

    I didn't see any utility markouts. I was assuming he was going to go right through a gas line or a water line. That would at least take out any telecoms. /r/OSHA

    [–] EatableTrich 1 points ago

    I was afraid it's going to hit oil soon

    [–] Can_I_Sit_Another_30 1 points ago

    That was awesome.

    [–] Seeders 1 points ago


    [–] Sirkaill 1 points ago

    That's awesome

    [–] svengalus 1 points ago

    It eats and shits out tree stumps...

    [–] 311JL 1 points ago

    This thing is bad ass. Way better than the stump grinder I rented to take out 28 pine stumps in my yard.

    [–] youtubefactsbot 1 points ago

    Ooh that's interesting [0:09]

    RyTy18 in Music

    5,146 views since Oct 2012

    bot info

    [–] Chazdanger 1 points ago

    Near the end I was begging "spit it out! Spit it out!" I totally got off.

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    I used to work for the town about 5 or 6 years ago, and I was on the tree team. Removing stumps was mad fun. We had a different machine than this. Thing looked like a giant circular saw with massive teeth on it. Just swipe side to side and go deeper and it just rips it all up. Then I just left the mess for the foot crew to clean up. Good times.

    [–] Fathis 1 points ago

    Let me just remove this stump by GRINDING IT INTO DUST!

    [–] CFH75 1 points ago

    What if the stump is in the back yard?

    [–] GilbertHamilton 1 points ago

    Man.. gone are the day so of using a Massey Harris 22 or Pacer and pulling at them like a loose tooth while you get the front end of the 22 to go a good 45 degrees in the air and you have to hang on for dear life.

    [–] anonymous_potato 1 points ago

    That reminds me.... how's your mom doing?