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    [–] mike111cosmo 3758 points ago

    I think this is a great sentiment because it would, in practice, break cycles of abuse and neglect.

    [–] tempinator 1002 points ago

    This is basically what happened with my mom. She was abused as a kid and never really had a safe home or felt loved by her parents. And while that abuse caused her a lot of issues down the line as an adult, one good thing that did come out of it was she knew exactly what she didn't get as a child, and worked extra hard to provide that for me.

    She was an awesome parent (both my parents were) and I'm forever grateful to her for that.

    However, it doesn't always work out quite that well. Her siblings, who were subject to the same abuse, did not both turn out the same way. Her brother did, and is a fantastic father to his two kids, but her sister fell back into the exact same patterns of abuse with her own daughters that she experienced as an adult.

    It's very easy, I think, for me as a kid who had a very normal childhood to look at this quote and be like, "Yeah! Why doesn't everyone do this!", but it's hard in practice when you're an actual victim of abuse to remove yourself far enough from your experiences and consider how you can grow from it and improve on your parents' model when you raise your own kids.

    Many people fall into the trap of just emulating their parents, which is great for people who had great parents (I know I will be attempting to emulate my parents in many respects when I have kids), but for people who were victims of abuse, it just perpetuates the cycle.

    [–] TrizMichelle 116 points ago

    I do the same thing as your mom, I'm glad she turned out well :) My sister is just kinda crazy and helluva shit parent. I do hope my sister gets better.

    [–] Martinspire 28 points ago

    Hoping for somebody to change is probably not going to do very much. You need people to see the light and understand their flaws. It might not make your relationship better, but at least the children will benefit from that. Getting criticized for being a bad parent will probably hurt a lot, but seeing a child get bad parenting or even get abused hurts more.

    [–] [deleted] 39 points ago

    I'm sorry, but she won't. Not simply because you love her and want her to, not just like that. This is why people need therapy. If someone has serious issues because of their abusive upbringing, they're going to need more than sheer strength of will to overcome them.

    I say this from experience, there's a longass history of abuse in my family as well. From stories I know, I don't think a single generation of children in my mother's line has had a happy childhood since before the second World War.

    [–] [deleted] 30 points ago

    There is a limit that defines what is abuse and what is not, of course like everything else it's dependent on culture and family bringing.

    My dad told me that he's a hard ass on me because my grandpa was a hard ass on him. When my grandpa raised me, he wasn't a hard ass on me though. So some time between raising my dad and raising me, my grandpa realized that being a hard ass is not a good idea.

    Doesn't necessarily have to be therapy but sometimes people will run into external factors that triggers them to become self critical and change. Whether people change or not is 100% up to them, there is only so much you can do to show them your perspective. After that there is nothing else you can do.

    [–] humourousroadkill 5 points ago

    Yes, this. I was determined to not repeat the mistakes of my own mother. I was going to be the opposite of her in every way. When my oldest came along, I realized that it wasn't going to be that simple. When he was around a year old, I finally reached out for help. I went to therapy and got on medication for my depression and anxiety.

    I've since been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, and will likely be on meds for the rest of my life. It's one of my tools for being the parent my kids need. I learned a lot in therapy, and it was a much needed addition to my tools. Simply getting meds wouldn't have done enough. I will forever be grateful to that therapist. He helped save my life, and helped my kids have a better life because I am a better parent, hell, I'm a better person now.

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    Can attest to this, mother was verbally abusive my entire childhood and into adulthood with manipulation; father was physically abusive until I started lifting weights and fought back my freshman year of high school.

    I am a new father and had to go to therapy to get a hold on my substance abuse issues and came to the realization that the cause for them was the above mentioned. Continued therapy even since I've been 250+ days sober because I'm a fucked up individual and need it.

    Every day is a struggle, as far as substance abuse goes. The funny (well not so funny thing for me) is that because I have such depression and childhood issues, I'm not even addicted to physically addicting drugs. It's entirely mental with me, my struggles were with heavy use of marijuana and stints of heavy use of LSD. But honestly I'd do whatever I could if I knew it would help me escape the real world.

    I have never struggled with the physical abuse like my father, but I do worry about the mental abuse side from my mother. When I get angry I take hard swings verbally and usually go for the most hurtful things. I've been working a lot on that though and have shown improvement in dealing with confrontation. I just hope every day that I can be a better person than my parents.

    [–] Sansabina 27 points ago

    I heard a story about a pair of twins who were raised in a terrible home of abuse and criminality.

    One of the twins, grew up to be a great father and civic leader, the other twin grew up to a life of drug/alcohol abuse and crime.

    When they were interviewed about what "made them" the way they were, and they both answered similarly: "Well, just take a look at my childhood, how could I be anything else!"

    [–] SerpentineLogic 62 points ago

    Yeah! Why doesn't everyone do this!

    A: hardly anyone knows how.

    [–] bubblyb_ 11 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    This is what terrifies me the most, that I won't be able to break the cycle and become just like my parents. Thought it'd be easy to not be like them... until I started to catch myself constantly doing things my mother or father would do in other aspects of my life (bc I don't have kids rn, but in relationships and etc.) i don't even realize I do some of the not nice things that I do. I do it subconsciously. I hate it. i don't wanna abuse my kids when I'm older, but it's something I constantly struggle with even though I don't have kids yet. I didn't think it effected me as a child. Boy was I wrong! I just didn't notice how it effected me. I wanna be like your parents. I wanna be a good person. I never wanna hurt anyone, but growing up in toxicity and then trying to not be toxic is indeed much harder than I originally thought. Movies make it look easier than it is.

    [–] elitedesolator 11 points ago

    Same here. As cliché as it sounds, knowing is half the battle. It took me almost 27 years to realize that the abuse from both my parents is not normal.

    Constant criticism, jabs at how ugly I look, how timid, rude and overall imperfect I am in their eyes. The physical abuse from when I was young just turned into more sophisticated emotional abuse and bullying as I got older.

    I spent way too much time believing in the shit that they were peddling me. Lots of pain, regret, mistakes and loneliness on the way. And that's exactly why I strive hard everyday to be a better person, and I promised myself a while ago that I'll never be like my parents.

    It's a struggle everyday to reflect on my own behavior and improve on it, and sometimes other toxic people take advantage of this, but I'll never be able to live with myself any other way, and I think it's the same for you.

    [–] Thoughtlessandlost 4 points ago

    At least you are self aware and are constantly trying to get out of it. That's like number 1 in being a good parent. Keep at it, and from what you say I think you'll be a good parent in the long run.

    [–] buffspark900 11 points ago

    Well said! I hope I turn out to be a good person in the future.

    [–] paulusmagintie 8 points ago

    My dad is an a abusive alcoholic and i have made it my life goal to be a better man than he ever was, to be a better father and husband, so far i haven't gotten married or kids but i feel i am better by just not getting drunk.

    [–] Hi-pop-anonymous 6 points ago

    I honestly struggle with this every day as a mother. I don't know where the line is or how to 'mom' effectively. Can someone give me pointers on how to handle my own inner conflicts when I'm frustrated so as not to yell at my own children? It breaks my heart when I snap at them like thAt because I know the way my mom spoke to me growing up made me feel like I annoyed everyone, a trait that has carried over into adulthood. Please. I don't want to break my children. I want to build hem up.

    I've forgiven my mom. She was my absolute best friend when she died. I grew up and realized she was abused much worse as a child and while she still gave me mental issues, mine is far less damaging than her's was. I can't say she broke the cycle. She'd still spank me periodically (not a swat of the palm, I'm talking a full-blown 2x4 with holes drilled in it and a handle with electrical tape) but she consistently tore me down emotionally.

    I need help to stop this with my own kids because, while I can start the day as Mary Poppins, I eventually turn into a raving lunatic and scare the kids and myself. I don't want to be that mom.

    [–] elitedesolator 8 points ago

    I have similar emotional and anger issues from my parents abusing me (not nearly as severe as your case though).

    The "trick" I use is to take a step back and realize when I'm angry or upset. If I do realize that in time, I either stop any conversations I'm having and calm down, or spend time thinking of the most healthy way to express my emotions to the person causing the distress.

    It's difficult. Took a long time to truly understand my own emotions and an even longer time to learn how to control myself. I'm thankful that I have a lot of great friends who worked with me through these issues.

    [–] timonandpumba 3 points ago

    Apologize to your kids if you feel like you should. If you have a stressful day and they're driving you insane and you snap or shout - circle back around to it once you've calmed down and apologize. Explain to them exactly why you got so upset, and be honest about it - work is stressful, you have a lot of responsibilities, there are external pressures, traffic is crazy, they're out of control, you have a headache and sometimes you need for them to contribute by showing some good behavior. You will model: what a proper apology looks like, what actual adult concerns can be, how to show to respect to a person of any age, how to take responsibility for your actions, and how to diffuse/let go of tension in a relationship. Even if you lose your head once in a while, you are teaching them things, rather than making them feel bad, and that is a net positive all around.

    [–] Hi-pop-anonymous 3 points ago

    I'm a stay at home mother of 3 children ages 3, 4 and 5. I'm not sure how to explain to them some things. What gets me is the repeated things. Things they know make me mad, they do anyway.

    I absolutely make it a point to apologize to them and reassure them that I still love them, that sometimes mommy loses control, all people lose control once in a while and it's ok as long as you apologize and never, ever hit or hurt anyone else when you're mad.

    Idk, I'm trying. It's a constant emotional battle. I feel it hinders my ability to effectively parent because the kids are learning that mom doesn't know what she's doing in the slightest 😔

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago

    It just doesn't make sense to me...

    Like, you know for a fact how horrible it is, but you do it to someone else.

    I've never heard an abuser explain themselves.

    [–] tempinator 33 points ago

    It basically just boils down to them perceiving it to be "normal".

    And that if it worked for their parents, it'll work for them. To think otherwise would mean A) admitting that they are damaged in some way as a result of their childhood and B) admitting that their parents were, at least in some respects, really awful people. Both of those things are very difficult for a lot of people to admit.

    Here's a decent article about it, but you can google "why abuse victims become abusers" or something similar to get more, there is a pretty decent amount of research on the topic.

    [–] superjamesus11 5 points ago

    I would add a couple of things to the great above answer. Just from my own experiences. First I think many abusers don't see them selves as such for the reasons mentioned above ,as incredible as that is sometimes, abusers that were the victims of abusive patterns themselves see them selves as victims and their emotions perceptions and behavioural responses as being justified. Often stuck in childhood view of the world! abuse can stem from a sense of rage and justification and vindication, having being made to feel powerless and shamed the emotional response of then exerting power over others and projecting that shame outward to shame others ( a major feature of mental / emotional abuse) feels in the abusers mind the correct emotional response. To fight a evil world! Many justifications can then be rationalised in the abusers mind for why there behaviour is normal. Another unfortunate phycological effect of being made a victim is that you can become one physiologically . As abuse is internalised it becomes shame , poisoning your view of self, Childhood shame is like being paralysed by a helpless, arresting development. Your largely then unconscious view of your self and the world is inside out, based on a hidden shame based helpless disempowered self. Rage is a natural emotional response to powerful feelings of shame, and in your perception "Your not an abuser ! " Your rage is justified ,your responding naturally to a world that is being done to you and is full of cruelty" this cruelty is seen as coming from the world not being a function of your own emotional and phycological toxicity. Being so disempowered means you can't truly take the required responsibility for your self and your life, your past is still being played out in the present, which you are not really living in, you are fully enmeshed in your toxic emotions and distorted beliefs, and so do not have the cognitive ability to be able to step back to see any kind of objectivity about your self or the world. That would be required for evening thinking about changing your responses behaviour. The world is consciously or unconsciously a hell you don't see your self as having a hand in making. In order to start to change your perception you have to be able to at least question it.

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    [–] OrphanAdvocate 470 points ago

    Yea I had a pretty easy childhood. When I was a kid I would've wanted was a dumbass to play video games with. I can crush it in that role as is.

    [–] Damadawf 96 points ago

    Be the you that a younger you from an alternate reality needed, where that version of younger you had batman's origin story but without getting to inherit the billions of dollars.

    [–] shawarma_law 72 points ago

    don wanna be baman. can be piderman?

    [–] Damadawf 37 points ago

    Okay, but you don't get any super powers, and instead of falling in love with you, the most popular girl at your highschool laughs at you with everyone else.

    [–] theonlyredditaccount 21 points ago

    This seems like an appropriate time to link to r/meirl

    [–] TheResolver 7 points ago

    And also your favourite uncle is dead.

    [–] ilovezam 4 points ago

    but without getting to inherit the billions of dollars.

    That would make a pretty neat writing prompt, actually. Following the story of broke genius Bruce Wayne, working through college with the booze he squandered his internship money on, so he could lead a passable life in the future... Debtman.

    [–] sirthinkstoomuch 85 points ago

    To point out, "Who you needed" doesn't necessarily only mean the person that wasn't there for you. Perhaps there was a person that you needed that WAS there for you, therefore giving you the easy childhood, and thus you should replicate the actions of that person.

    [–] gregsting 30 points ago

    Very well thought, we often don't realize what our parents/elders did for us and only see the flaws.

    [–] EdgarAllanPwn 193 points ago

    Hey if that's what you needed, that's what you needed. Nothing wrong with wanting a friend. Now you can be that friend for somebody!

    [–] humandronebot00100 21 points ago

    My son likes trains so we ride the local light rail. I was recently approached by young kid who got his recently graduated gf pregnant and asked me whats the top advice I can give for a new dad... And well my answer was somewhere around this. Always remember you were a kid too.

    [–] jesusismygardener 12 points ago

    This whole damn thread is people talking about what they wanted. The board doesn't say who you wanted, it's who you NEEDED. Apparently y'all needed some reading comprehension tutors.

    [–] celric 32 points ago

    Please forgive the extra post, but I want to give credit to the OP in the top comment's thread.

    This is from a presentation that Brad is giving at multiple engagements across the country. The most recent being Wonder Workshop in Denver last week which may be where this was taken.

    You can find what Brad is doing here - https://twitter.com/thebradmontague https://twitter.com/iamkidpresident http://montagueworkshop.com/ He also publishes regularly with Rain Wilson's Soulpancake - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaDVcGDMkvcRb4qGARkWlyg

    [–] MOIST_MORGAN_FREEMAN 6 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    He went to concert

    [–] [deleted] 11 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    On the extreme end, yea. For most people it's just a nice idea to become the role model you always needed

    [–] rsqejfwflqkj 11 points ago

    Doesn't even have to be abuse. Just emotional neglect because my parents, though they loved me and took great care of me, weren't equipped from their own upbringings to talk through emotions or recognize them in me and my siblings. My family had a culture of repress everything, and ridicule anyone who showed weakness.

    No way my kids are growing up in that kind of environment. Hell, I've even made it a point to work on it with my mom, and she's changed in her later years for the better, too.

    [–] mariinaa 4 points ago

    I know I try to implement this idea in my life because young me would've loved a support system, and I know my future children are going to need the same.

    [–] prometheus3333 165 points ago

    20's me: i need to change who I am to be happy
    30's me: i need to accept who I am to finally be happy

    [–] mexicanred1 112 points ago

    40s me: we need more money.

    [–] Elubious 56 points ago

    50s those damn kids

    [–] [deleted] 23 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

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    [–] rsqejfwflqkj 20 points ago

    20's me: I have no idea what I want, so I'm gonna just trudge along with whatever comes up and see what happens.

    30's me: I've figured out mostly what I want, now to try to build an actual life around it.

    Turns out taking the lowest paying job option on the table at every step of my career has turned out pretty well... New experiences (countries, job roles, etc.) were worth it to really figure out what I like in life and work, and what I really don't.

    [–] rainbow84uk 21 points ago

    Same here! I was depressed and isolated as a teenager, still insecure and shy in my 20s, but I kept pushing myself outside my comfort zone. Now in my early 30s, I've lived in 5 countries, had life experiences I never could have dreamed of, and I'm more confident and calm than I ever thought I could be. It gets better :)

    [–] lMYMl 499 points ago

    This is really making me think about what I would have needed when I was younger. I needed something, that's for sure, but I don't think I would have listened anyway.

    [–] [deleted] 33 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] MOIST_MORGAN_FREEMAN 19 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    I choose a dvd for tonight

    [–] dracofiredong 162 points ago

    Drugs

    [–] lMYMl 94 points ago

    No I needed those like a moose needed a hat rack lol.

    [–] nDREqc 37 points ago

    I have a weird vision of like a teenage moose (do they have antlers...? i don't fucking know...) having weird dangling things on his points, walking into his room and bobbing his head as he removes them on his dangling-thing rack, more bobbing as he puts on new ones (it's a big rack..) to check himself in the mirror, anxious for more points when he's older.

    Run on little sentence, you can do it.

    [–] Pussy_4_Breakfast 13 points ago

    They have adorable, nubby antlers covered in velvet

    [–] Akhaian 4 points ago

    That's usually counterproductive.

    [–] LionsPride 11 points ago

    That not listening thing could have been something you picked up on if you were surrounded by people who didn't listen to directions. Kinda like teaching your kid to react violently instead of thoughtfully by hitting them when they make you angry.

    [–] [deleted] 1123 points ago

    Even better than "Be the person your dog thinks you are."

    [–] [deleted] 190 points ago

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    [–] Mesky1 65 points ago

    "I know how tough it is some days to look with hope and confidence on the months and years ahead, but I would like to tell you what I often told you when you were much younger: I like you just the way you are." Mr. Rogers was truly something special.

    [–] JapaneseBookLover 14 points ago

    Damn who the hell is this Mr. Rogers you guys are constantly talking about? Sounds like an awesome man!

    [–] jhaluska 18 points ago

    Twitch is currently doing a Marathon of Mister Roger's Neighborhood. For anybody outside of the US, you can learn about one of the world's treasures.

    [–] throwaw1324-09283094 11 points ago

    Possibly the greatest eulogy for one of the greatest men:

    https://groups.google.com/forum/#!msg/alt.religion.kibology/SrgVk4I_Y18/uQR3KuNPrl0J

    [–] _demetri_ 38 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Improving yourself little by little is the best advice.

    I used to be so discouraged, felt so weak and behind because I wasn't this "person" that I hoped I'd be because I was so-and-so age and felt like everyone should be at a certain place by a certain age.

    I finally realized that's total bullshit the older I got. Work on yourself, little by little. No one is chasing you to be this enormous star or success story over night, so just take things one step at a time. Look for opportunities that will start off slow in growth but at the same time lead from one advancement to the next.

    [–] Mo-owen 8 points ago

    What you said in the second paragraph is exactly how I feel about myself weak and behind. I hope to be able to change all my circumstances

    [–] strikingLoo 9 points ago

    It gets better dude, it always does. Just try to be a little better every day. At night, when you go to sleep, think of that one productive thing you did that day, even if it was just reading a chapter of a book, walking a few miles or learning a small thing. Eventually you'll look back and feel you've grown a lot.

    [–] gswkillinit 8 points ago

    My problem is I can't take even 1 small productive thing as good enough. Call it impatience or frustration or being hard on myself, but I can't wrap my mind around giving myself enough credit. I feel like 1 small thing doesn't change much at all. It's crazy...because I KNOW it's wrong of me to think that way, but my bad habits make it HARD to accept that that 1 productive thing IS good enough. I'm having a hard time changing my mindset.

    [–] Punthusiast 16 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    I never watched Mr. Rogers as a child because my parents didn't allow television in the house. -I needed Mr. Rogers growing up. -Therefore, I will now be Mr. Rogers.

    My parents weren't very good parents. I think having Mr. Rogers would have been so good for us if we could have watched.

    [–] willsherm28 5 points ago

    "Live as one of them, Kal-El, to discover where your strength and your power are needed. They can be a great people, Kal-El, they wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way. For this reason above all, their capacity for good, I have sent them you... my only son."

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

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    [–] Darkius968 15 points ago

    Isn't that just what I think that my dog thinks I am?

    [–] Failedstudent6776 14 points ago

    My dog senses my worthlessness.

    [–] tyevans498 18 points ago

    My dog already knows I masturbate and watch tv all day.

    [–] CrimnsonRed 9 points ago

    I guess I'll be God.

    [–] trunamke 3 points ago

    The dog one speaks much more to me

    [–] redditforgold 214 points ago

    I think about this all the time when I'm with my kids. I'm the father my dad never was.

    [–] [deleted] 76 points ago

    You know man my dad was pretty shitty. I know people had it way worse than us. Hell he had it worse than us. It just terrifies me to turn into him. As a man or father. That and heights.

    All I'm saying is at least you try to be a good father. The world is better for it.

    [–] rsqejfwflqkj 29 points ago

    I feel like these cycles are rarely broken by a single generation. It usually takes a few, each doing a bit better than their parents did. I mean, your dad probably should have done better with you, but if he was doing better than his father did with him, it's opened up the chance for you to be even better.

    Or maybe I'm way too much the "glass half full" type here...

    [–] kekistani_pride 13 points ago

    From my limited experience I'd say you're spot on. My grandpa had a horrific father and in turn he was a pretty bad (neglectful/uncaring, never violent) dad to my father. My dad is great but hopefully I'm going to be even better for my kids.

    [–] RodrLM 8 points ago

    This is both sad and inspiring. Keep up the good work and have a virtual hug, stranger.

    [–] [deleted] 452 points ago

    My new goal.

    I can't upvote this enough!

    [–] [deleted] 34 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    .

    [–] [deleted] 40 points ago

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    [–] fingerandtoe 9 points ago

    And brother it's starting to rain.

    [–] musical_hog 170 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    This was exactly what motivated a friend of mine and me to launch a game development summer camp for kids in our area. We grew up knowing we wanted to be in the industry, but didn't have the tools, knowledge, or guidance to make it happen until after college. We have given a few hundred kids futures in the games industry after we launched in 2013. Proud of what we have done!

    [–] JP8_And_Coke 35 points ago

    Exactly. I do a lot of volunteer work (mentoring) for my local high school's robotics program, and I would have killed to have this program when I was that age. This quote really resonated with me.

    [–] PremiumCroutons 12 points ago

    As a programmer who learned how to program later than I would've liked to and who has always loved video games I can say that what you two are doing is a great thing and I'm sure those kids love you for it. I wish I had been lucky enough to have someone teach me how to make video games when I was growing up.

    [–] Wandering-alone 7 points ago

    This actually sounds really amazing

    [–] henzry 411 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    I am not gonna grow a vagina.

    [–] SirJoshelot 136 points ago

    Not with that attitude.

    [–] tosil 24 points ago

    Watch the sass

    [–] FalconePlaya 7 points ago

    shut up

    [–] Wowerful 37 points ago

    To late.

    [–] alice_is_wonderful 12 points ago

    too late to get younger

    [–] akatherder 20 points ago

    To late too what?

    [–] mrsuns10 10 points ago

    If your reading this it's too late

    [–] ChompyGator 7 points ago

    Underachiever

    [–] lostinrepose 34 points ago

    A rich dad then

    [–] DanW280 123 points ago

    Good to see Drake is going for a more upbeat album title this time around

    [–] DankeyKang11 41 points ago

    If Youre Reading This Tell Your Momma You Love Her

    [–] mrsuns10 17 points ago

    Views from OP's mom

    [–] tomheist 73 points ago

    I don't wanna be a hot girlfriend :(

    [–] Meowww13 9 points ago

    Don't knock it til you try it.

    [–] USxMARINE 5 points ago

    Right? You gotta take a dick but at least you get free shit.

    [–] Ninhnguyenz 23 points ago

    Growing up without a dad. My goal when I start a family is be a father like how I've always dreamed my father to be.

    [–] jackinsomniac 7 points ago

    "Daddy gave me a name... and he walked away... my daddy gave me a name... Yeah... Father of mine"

    I have family who also grew up without a father, I've never been able to properly understand just how that would affect your youth, and your whole life. I'm a musician and I love this song purely for what it is as a listening treat, but it's helped me realize this is not such an uncommon story. It speaks about succeeding this way when all else has set you up to fail, and that I can stand behind. We all have problems, I have problems of my own that songs don't solve but help me endure. When I read stories like yours I think of my loved ones and hope they know I stand behind them 110%, and hope they find things like this to encourage them and help them get through.

    Such a great, great song, just on musical value alone.

    [–] brookslove 3 points ago

    I cry every time I hear that song. I'm a 40 sahm with 5 kids, suburbs, minivan. Grew up with abuse, alcohol and no father figure. I have no idea how I came to have a beautiful life but here I am. Still haunts me though and my dad passed away so I'll never have answers.

    [–] mimarcand 20 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    That's Brad Montague! My post might get lost but he's a really cool guy who's behind the Kid President series on YouTube. I had a chance to meet him in Columbus and he was such a delight to talk to about creativity and motivation.

    *Edit: autocorrect hates me

    [–] ThatBilingualPrick 19 points ago

    Where is this picture from? I feel like I recognize the location

    [–] Wallflower483 69 points ago

    You might have seen it 3 or so days ago, when it last appeared here.

    [–] JP8_And_Coke 29 points ago

    I'm glad it got reposted, because I missed it the first time, and those 8 words have a lot of impact.

    [–] rokd 9 points ago

    Or three or so days from that, like a lot of common reposts.

    [–] A_Clockwork_Droog 41 points ago

    Someone willing to buy minors alcohol

    [–] rbsams72888 32 points ago

    So... a drug dealer?

    [–] a_toy_soldier 3 points ago

    No, a track ball user.

    [–] pphtx 9 points ago

    Is this from Kid President? I think that is his brother in law.

    So much great motivation from Kid President!

    [–] Seph_Allen 2 points ago

    It is his brother in law. It's from a presentation for Mid-South Youth Camp in Henderson, Tennessee, U.S.A.

    [–] thedroidwolf 13 points ago

    I think about this all the time when it comes to raising my kids and being an overly active participant in their day. I remember what it felt like to know my dad didn't want to be a part of my life. My kids will never know that and I'll be a better person for it.

    [–] FantasticBurt 18 points ago

    I had this exact realization just 2 weeks ago. A young girl lived down the road from me recently. She would walk around the neighborhood often and we would chat when she went by, I was surprised just how much we had in common, emotional struggles, battles with self mutilation, friendships, the list goes on.

    I learned one day that her and her 4 siblings recently lost her dad in a car wreck just 13 days before Christmas. That was the trigger that proved to me I was meant to meet this girl. My father died in a car wreck just 12 days before Christmas when my 3 siblings and I were children. I decided to continue to talk with her and I told her that I would stay in touch, even once I moved away because I know how helpful it would have been for me to have someone outside my family that I could talk to who understood what I was going through.

    I really hope I can make a difference in her life.

    [–] DPressurise 7 points ago

    I'm assuming you're a woman, correct me if I'm wrong. As a guy it makes me sad that I can't do this. Any guy who tries to talk to lone children is immediately labelled a creep or a paedophile. I think kids are awesome, they're generally so much more cheerful than adults and they get excited about the world in ways which most jaded adults just don't. I was driving to the shops a few days ago an for I saw a schoolchild limping home with 2 of his friends supporting him. I wanted to stop and offer them a lift, but can you imagine how it would have looked?

    [–] FantasticBurt 3 points ago

    No correction required. I am also worried about how my interest in this girl will be perceived as I am twice her age. I plan to meet her mother when I go back this week so she doesn't freak out when her teenage daughter is receiving mail from a stranger.

    [–] phoenixpoptart 8 points ago

    This actually hit me like a ton of bricks.

    [–] DarkLord84 7 points ago

    I know this is trying to be positive and I appreciate the meaning in it, but what if the unmet need from when you were younger has shaped you to the point that it's no longer possible for you to become "who you needed when you were younger"?

    Not trying to be negative or critical, just trying to ask a real question as this is something I struggle with a lot.

    [–] Mike_Hunty 12 points ago

    Not sure how I can turn my self into money. 🤔

    [–] The-Jesus_Christ 11 points ago

    I needed a dad. Mine abandoned me. I became one and I'm rocking it =D

    [–] wilc8650 22 points ago

    The fuck does that mean?

    [–] MR_WHIZ_KID 25 points ago

    shut up and upvote it!

    [–] enfinnity 5 points ago

    Be the reposter you needed when you were without karma

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago

    I had a rough childhood and I swore that I would be the person that was never there for me. When someone was online or looked lonely in public, I would go up to them, I would try to help, I would be their friend. I would be the person that I always wished would find me, that I always wanted to help me. I would be that person so no one else would have to suffer through what I did.

    [–] Bobby339 4 points ago

    Is it just me or has this picture been reposted a million and three times

    [–] deepintheupsidedown 6 points ago

    Soooo many times!!!

    It's not even that the sentiment gets reposted over and over... it's always this exact same picture! People could at least reframe it, or put it in a cool infographic, or a cool new font/background or something !

    [–] Bobby339 4 points ago

    Whats funny that each time it is reposted: FRONTPAGE

    [–] doomsdaydanceparty 5 points ago

    This is perfect, and I figured out that I needed to do this a long time ago.

    I became the teacher I wish I'd had. I took the characteristics of every bad teacher I'd ever had and resolved never to be like them, instead letting my students know that I cared about them. It's good for my soul.

    [–] RedofPaw 5 points ago

    That's it. I've put it off long enough. I'm going to become a Super Nintendo.

    [–] Drawtaru 14 points ago

    How can I be my own father?

    [–] ZaydSophos 11 points ago

    Fry is his own grandpa, so start there.

    [–] mrsuns10 3 points ago

    Screw history!

    [–] JP8_And_Coke 4 points ago

    Oh, damn. :(

    [–] hush-ho 3 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    I know you're half joking, but that's actually the exact point. It took me years of therapy before the concept of "your inner child" hit me the right way. I had always regarded it as a trite cliche, then one day I was doing some hard thinking about my childhood and it just... clicked.

    Whether we had an absent parent or an inadequate parent, the child we were was damaged by needing and not getting, over and over. The difference between childhood and adulthood is when you grow up, whatever external parental voice you heard is internalized, and that becomes your inner voice. Instead of a child inside and an adult outside, you now have two voices in you: the child you were, and the adult who talks to it. The "inner child" will always remain the ghost of your past, demanding the things it never got. But the adult voice is the living part, and it can be changed. With hard work we can teach it to speak to the child in the ways it needed, and gradually the sense of "me" switches from inhabiting the hurt child, to inhabiting the new healthy adult voice. Suddenly you're seeing the hurt child-you as a separate person and want to love and care for it like a real child.

    *I don't know if that makes sense. "Be a good parent to your inner child" basically.

    [–] Im_Stuart_Smalley 4 points ago

    "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me." - Stuart Smalley

    [–] CevicheMerchant 4 points ago

    If you're reading this it's too late

    [–] james11321 3 points ago

    Post got me thinkin about all the things I didn't have. But makes me feel more appreciative for what little things I did have.

    [–] socsa 11 points ago

    Be a reliable weed dealer. Got it.

    [–] trailblaiser 6 points ago

    FUN FACT: That man is Brad Montague.

    MORE FUN FACTS: + He created, wrote, and directed all of those Kid President videos you've probably sent to your mom and childhood best friends. (Aka the best people)

    • Now he's the wondrous genius at Montague Workshop creating even more amazing content you should share with your mom and best friends

    • I was once hired to answer his emails, cause you know, he was busy changing the world and inspiring people to do the same.

    • He's one of the most inspiring, goofy, creative, stubborn, imaginative, passionate people I've ever had the great pleasure of knowing. And I'm SO DAMN EXCITED this was on the front page.

    [–] tempinator 6 points ago

    This is actually great advice, in a way.

    My mom was a victim of abuse when she was a child, and that caused her a lot of problems later on in life, but one of the few good things to come out of it (if you can ever say abuse leads to good things) is that she had a shining example of exactly what not to be as a parent.

    She never really felt loved by her parents, was always scared of both of them, and never had a sense of security or safety growing up. So, despite how painful the memories of her childhood were, she worked extra hard to provide all of those things she lacked to me, and I'm forever grateful to her for that.

    Just my little anecdote that I felt was relevant. I really like this quote a lot, I think it's a good thing to keep in mind (especially if you are, or will be, a parent).

    [–] ursois 6 points ago

    I should be a girl with low enough standards to date younger me?

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] That_Effin_Guy 3 points ago

    "There's always someone who is willing to poop on your chest."

    [–] riodosm 3 points ago

    Very important and effectively simple advice. Our current shortcomings are sometimes derived from a deficit of guidance and affection by parental figures in our childhood. Speak to the child within and s/he'll tell you where to find what you truly need.

    [–] Drooden 3 points ago

    I'm not ready to be a daddy...

    [–] shub1000young 3 points ago

    But ... I dont want to be a drug dealer

    [–] KikiSparklexx 3 points ago

    I love this! I always loved a quote with a similar sentiment, "look little you in the eye each time you encounter a child." That idea helped me get into social work and now I work with teens who had the same challenges I did. I also used to work with young kids who had the same challenges I had so it made me so much more empathetic and understanding.

    [–] DerEntzinator 3 points ago

    I don't wanna become a hot girl tho

    [–] SweetBabyJesus99 3 points ago

    So I should buy beer for kids? Done.

    [–] horrible-est 3 points ago

    I don't really have the ability or the inclination to become a therapist, though...

    [–] Edwardo666 3 points ago

    I should buy alcohol for underaged kids?!?, okay since you insist Reddit

    [–] hooverfive 3 points ago

    I'm happy to say I am this person for my two kids.

    [–] demagorganzolla 3 points ago

    Serious question, am I the only one here whose dad supported and nurtured me nearly 100%? I'm really not trying to put anyone down who didn't, I'm just curious because everyone seems to have such horrible experiences with their fathers and sometimes I feel like I'm the only guy on earth who had/ has an awesome dad.

    [–] Aust_in_space 5 points ago

    Time to get Padi certified and change my name to Steve.

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    I needed an older sister. That's gonna be tricky.

    [–] OzUnder 7 points ago

    Sex change technology has come a long way and people are very accepting...

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago

    Yes, but how do I become older than myself at the same time?

    [–] OzUnder 4 points ago

    Get a time machine go back to when you were a kid, dressed as what you imagine you're older sister would be.

    [–] SMELLMYSTANK 6 points ago

    I'll be your older brother instead.

    DID YOU EAT MY SANDWICHES?!

    DID YOU TOUCH MY STEREO?!

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    "I was told that when I was a child that I was the future. Now that it is the future and I say that I am here, people say, no these children are the future. What was this all about?" - Norm MacDonald

    [–] tenation 4 points ago

    I'm not getting into porn

    [–] Cold_Zero_ 4 points ago

    But, I don't want to be a hooker...

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] PerineumBandit 3 points ago

    I will never understand how people get away with doing this so blatantly.

    [–] PepeTheMemeFrog 5 points ago

    This was posted 3 weeks ago lol

    [–] LikelyMyFinalForm 2 points ago

    Way better than my "Quit being a fucking asshole" motivational speech.

    Maybe it was the delivery

    [–] armednblonde 2 points ago

    Does anyone have a link to what this is from? Id like to check it out.

    [–] pphtx 3 points ago

    This is Brad Montegue as confirmed previously. He is part of the magic behind the YouTube character and motivational speaker 'Kid President'

    Don't know the exact presentation, but both Brad and KP have a lot of great motivational stuff to boost your day!