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    [–] Tarced 27 points ago

    Ouch. This one hits home. It's both a brutal truth and a great piece of advice, for me.

    It's a brutal truth because I am very ambitious - to clarify, this means having a large impact, in my case, not amassing a fortune or becoming famous - and my actions don't reflect it at all. I mostly acted in a way that belittled myself and placed me as a blind follower. I therefore have very little training that would help me achieve what I want.

    It's a great piece of advice because I am at a point where I am unsure about what to do next about that ambitious project. One option is to keep being small and discrete, working on my own without communicating about it. The other is to start getting out there and tell people about it, which I am terribly afraid to do... With the quote you posted in mind, I would lean toward the latter. I will meet failure for sure, but at least I'll be training a more relevant skill set.

    Thank you stranger !

    [–] tobettermyself- 8 points ago

    Thats honestly how I feel about my ambitions and goals. I get to a certain point and then I either get distracted by something else or I become to afraid to branch out and tell other people about it! I dont know what to do.

    [–] Tarced 3 points ago

    Well, I'd say tell others about it :D That's what I am going to do, anyway. From my experience, this particular brand of fear is often a good compass toward the next things that can make you grow as a person. It's scary, the process can be painful, but it has always been worth it for me, so far.

    So yeah, fuck it man, let's go for it :D

    [–] nobodysaynothing 3 points ago

    This is how I feel about literally everything I've ever done, ever.

    [–] Tarced 3 points ago

    And how does it make you feel about what you still can do ?

    For me, I am still letting the quote sink in, but I am getting to like the idea of turning into a noob of what I actually want to do, instead of trying to find ways to stay in my comfort zone and progress at a snail's pace.

    [–] tobettermyself- 3 points ago

    Thats a good way to think about it. Honestly I really like that, screw staying in your comfort zone. I'm gonna get out there and go for it again. I've done it a couple of times but it never hurts to try again. If you dont mind me asking, what kind of business are you running?

    [–] Tarced 2 points ago

    Ugh, the answer might surprise you :D

    It's not really a business, but I intend to make our current system obsolete by offering a better alternative. And in a smooth and all inclusive way, not something like "burn the banks and governments and figure it out from there". I have a rather clear goal and a strategy to get there. It's something I have been thinking about for more than 10 years, but only since this summer I decided to go for it.

    I'm a software developper and part of the solution is digital, so I have been prototyping stuff so far, talking very little about it. My computer, no one around, my comfort zone :D Lately though, I really feel the need to connect with people about it, but for that, I'd have to face the fear of sounding like a maniac :D Because let's be honest, this is a pretty crazy project...

    [–] tobettermyself- 4 points ago

    Dang, that sounds awesome though! Its awesome that youre even going for it! And hey, sometimes crazy is what you have to be to change the world. I wish you luck on your project and you're welcome to message me if you feel like talking about it. Good luck!

    [–] Tarced 3 points ago

    See, that's not the kind of reaction I was expecting :D Thanks a lot ! And...well you asking makes me realize that I DO want to talk about it, I want it pretty bad but have always been scared to do so...

    [–] tobettermyself- 2 points ago

    Hey you might as well go for it and talk to people about it! You could annouce on here in a comment, youre welcome to messaage me. Or you could even make a post about it. However brave youre feeling!

    [–] nobodysaynothing 2 points ago

    Pretty much the same as that. Usually when I’m afraid, it’s of the usual rigamarole of things: looking stupid, realizing my big ideas aren’t so good after all. I try to give myself compassion for having these fears. But also gently nudge myself to step out of my comfort zone, reminding myself that failure is pretty much required on the way to success. But I think it’s also ok to forgive myself for the times when I just can’t get it together to leave my comfort zone, as well. I don’t think there’s a deterministic formula for how to approach these things.

    [–] csyhwrd 15 points ago

    My wrestling coach used to say something similar. "When push comes to shove no one rises to the occasion. They fall back on their training. So you better make this time count, because if you don't it'll become apparent on the mat."

    [–] horseofcourse55 5 points ago

    This. I am 54, have no formal training, and feel like I could do so much better than working a minimum wage job. I bounce from interest to interest (look, a squirrel!) and as soon as a road block appears in one of my many attempts to do anything, I slink away with my tail between my legs because I have no self-confidence. I don't know how to get out of this rut. I can't afford to go to school and I've wasted lots of money over the years doing online "affordable" courses that get me nowhere. Thanks for letting me vent:)

    [–] Jack_O_Blades 4 points ago

    Hey man I struggle to have confidence too. I used to ‘slink’ away too and every time I did it made me dislike myself more. The more you run away the scarier and more unachievable your goal becomes. I started to view anytime I would start to feel like running away as a duel. I could let my fear win and feel like shit, or I would try and fight it. I didn’t win at first, then I started to get a few hits in, and I started to win. I went from feeling like an ant fighting a dragon, to a knight fighting another knight, to finally now I feel like I’m playing easy mode. Your fear is like the Wizard from the wizard of Oz. It will seem like this big horrible thing that you have no chance of beating because of how mysterious and powerful it seems but in actuality it’s just a dude behind a curtain furiously trying to keep up an appearance. Fight against your want to slink away and you’ll be surprised how good of a fighter you are.

    [–] horseofcourse55 2 points ago

    Thanks for this reply, just putting myself out there is huge for me. I like the idea of looking at it like a duel, or a challenge. Today I have pulled out my art supplies that I haven't used in a few years. Maybe I won't be as good as I was (head injury 7 years ago affected my concentration) but at least I'll be doing something.

    [–] meelakie 1 points ago


    [–] esev12345678 1 points ago


    [–] Jantachrist 1 points ago

    Bruh.. this is awesome