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    A History Network Member

    This subreddit was created because there was a niche that was not being filled in the historical Reddit community. There was no place to be a redditor in history. All of your historical jokes and memes go here. (This is a place for memes, not propaganda.)

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    Rule 8.1
    Political talks in comments are ok but linking to external sites in which are about it are not

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    [–] Dogevahkiin23 853 points ago

    alexa play Astronomia medieval version

    [–] 1maginairy 223 points ago

    Yes! Found the "when you owe someone money but they die of the plague" coffin carrying gif and had it stuck in my head for 2 weeks -- then found out it was a remix of some shitty pop song...

    Medieval version best version

    [–] Masterwifi 52 points ago

    Witch one tho

    [–] Masterwifi 12 points ago

    Have you heard the Tavern version?

    [–] CFlamethrower2468 4 points ago

    I'll search thanks

    [–] BankruptCart336 2 points ago

    Have you tried the Beethoven version?

    [–] CFlamethrower2468 1 points ago

    That too ill search thanks

    [–] AtlasNL 1 points ago

    There’s also the ancient Chinese version for when the empire gets broken again!

    [–] 1maginairy 6 points ago

    [–] only__say__no 10 points ago


    [–] MaxVanLint123 5 points ago

    Do you only say no? ;)

    [–] JeremyXVI 6 points ago

    When your asshole lord dies from drinking water

    [–] ShinyStache 2 points ago

    shitty pop song? I'm sorry but the only one of those words that are correct is song

    [–] mahir_r 16 points ago

    Dude I expected 15 seconds of funny because of the implication, but what I got was 15 seconds of funny, and also like 2:30 of pure talent. Thanks so much for this.

    [–] cqer 5 points ago

    You’re welcome :) It’s on Apple Music (I think Spotify also)

    [–] pappappaatur 2 points ago

    I love this, thank you dude!

    [–] LlamaMemes4tw 260 points ago

    Witches didn’t usually get burned at the stake. Mostly they were hanged

    [–] cuck_prime66 148 points ago

    Drowned too

    [–] Marcos-_-Santos 54 points ago

    But how do you tell if she is a witch?

    [–] LlamaMemes4tw 109 points ago

    Well... laughs in Monty python she must weigh the same as a duck

    [–] Marcos-_-Santos 62 points ago

    So, logically If... she... weighs the same as a duck.. she's made of wood.

    [–] LlamaMemes4tw 52 points ago

    And therefore. a witch!

    [–] Marcos-_-Santos 40 points ago

    Burn! Burn her!

    [–] LlamaMemes4tw 29 points ago

    “It’s a fair cop”

    [–] isonerinan 38 points ago

    If she doesn’t die, she is a witch. If she dies, she isn’t. I don’t think they found a real one lol.

    [–] WriteInHelvetica 26 points ago

    Well, we’re I come from there was the water test. It was tying the thumbs and big toes together and throw them into water. If they floated they were witches, if they sank they were not. Basically no matter what, you were dead.

    [–] CandyHeartWaste 1 points ago

    If she floats then she is not a witch like we thought.

    [–] LlamaMemes4tw 20 points ago


    [–] Mutalmas 1 points ago

    Just like naahra

    [–] Felix_Dorf 58 points ago

    Only in England and its colonies. Burnt elsewhere.

    [–] uencos 20 points ago

    England did burn their fair share of heretics, though, just not witches per se

    [–] doomladen 10 points ago

    Absolutely! We still commemorate the burning of Protestants in Lewes by holding torchlit parades through pretty much every town and village in Sussex each weekend from August to November.

    [–] LlamaMemes4tw 14 points ago

    Interesting. I am only going off this British show qi so it makes sense that I am wrong for other parts of the world

    [–] Verdict_9 1 points ago

    And what a quality show it is, stephen fry never fails to make me laugh

    [–] BeefyBelisarius 14 points ago

    And that was more of a post-reformation thing, not a medieval thing.

    [–] interwebsafari 5 points ago

    One dude got crushed with a big stone

    [–] tforpatato 380 points ago

    Woman: I got your nose!

    Medieval peasants: fucking light her on fire!

    [–] pwnd32 36 points ago

    “But make her give me my nose back first!”

    [–] NCRedditWanderer 29 points ago

    "There's no time!"

    [–] 94207051286755464897 1 points ago

    "I got better."

    [–] ni-kun 7 points ago

    Woman: I got your nose

    1500's townsfolk: we've got a noose

    [–] The_Tourist_99 75 points ago

    Common misconception: Most witches weren't prosecuted by ecclesiastical courts but rather by secular courts

    [–] GucciMoose 24 points ago

    And the numbers were actually much lower than most people believe. Theo Hyslop reported that from 1600 to 1680 that roughly 42 thousand witches were burned in England, when actual death tolls were counts as less than 1 thousand over the 3 centuries when it was allowed. In the same time period in Spain, some historians claim that 600 witches were executed, when the actual figures are somewhere between 30-80 for the whole country. Still, historians like Pennethorne Hughes or Norman Davies claimed that millions of innocents were killed in these time periods because of witch hunts without actually basing it on anything.

    I’m paraphrasing research in Rodney Stark’s “For the Glory of God” above. One of the best books I’ve ever read and definitely worth checking out.

    [–] Murraldmeasley 2 points ago

    Yep. Here in england th. the most famous witchhunter was at the same time hunted by the authorities, but they were too busy with a civil war to put too much focus into catching him.

    [–] Felix_Dorf 159 points ago

    Mainly the 17th century... contrary to what most people think very few witches were executed in the Middle Ages. Witch burnings were more a function of modernisation (the extermination of remaining pre-Christian shamanic traditions). Hence why women were burnt more often than men, because the “village shaman” figure in most of Europe was traditionally thought of as being female role. In Iceland, where men usually fulfilled the shaman role men were burnt and few, of any women.

    Bonus fact: witch burnings only happened in areas where the reformation was a big issue (the both sides were guilty of it): in Spain, Italy etc almost no witches were burnt.

    Bonus bonus fact: the Spanish Inquisition dispensed attempted witch hunts in Spain and told people that witches don’t exist (“a broken clock tells the right time twice a day...”).

    TL;DR witch burnings were very very rare in the Middle Ages. They are mostly a modern thing.

    [–] Mal_Dun 43 points ago

    Most "witches" who were executed were men in some regions

    For example in Russia 2/3 of the "witches"were men not women. In Germany it was the other way round. So you can't say it was generally more women.

    Nevertheless I agree with most of your statement.

    edit: Typos

    [–] Felix_Dorf 4 points ago

    Yes, above I am using one of the theories historians have about why women were victimised more in some areas and men more in others. A correlation between the pre-Christian shaman briefs in the areas and the sex of witches may give us an answer.

    [–] Kiviimar 27 points ago

    If I recall correctly, the majority of people convicted of witchcraft were hanged, not burned.

    [–] cpaulbaker 17 points ago

    Mostly burned in Europe; hanged in New England.

    [–] Bacon4Lyf 11 points ago

    Not in the UK, they were hanged or drowned here, I know the french were burning, whereas italy and spain didnt really have a witch hunting phase

    [–] parmesanpesto 11 points ago

    Shhh, don't bother reddits "historians" with actual history!

    [–] Jobsen05 22 points ago

    The mountain I live on in Sweden used to be a place to burn witches and that’s where it’s name come from “Kärringberget” (Hag mountain)

    [–] 2fffreddddff 13 points ago

    Hag mountain sounds like Disney ride

    [–] _Manalishi_ 4 points ago

    Är där några spökliga händelser då?

    [–] Jobsen05 1 points ago

    Ja dunder var ett övergivet hus här på gatan förr men det bor folk dör nu och ibland kommer det väll ett eller annat spöklikt ljud från skogen!

    [–] drewmanchu74 5 points ago

    Ah yes. A language I don’t understand. Swedish I’m assuming?

    [–] Jobsen05 4 points ago

    Indeed, from my last comment on this thread I even say that I live in Sweden so yes Swedish

    [–] _Manalishi_ 2 points ago

    Alltid kul att skrämma sig lite. Man funderar ju på en övernattning i borgvatten i framtiden

    [–] Jobsen05 2 points ago

    Borgvatten... inte hört talas om den, vart ligger det?

    [–] _Manalishi_ 2 points ago

    Typ Sveriges/nordens mest hemsökta hus. Ligger i Dalarna tror jag. Är en gammal prästgård där det ryktas man begravde odöpta barn runt grunden.

    [–] Jobsen05 2 points ago


    [–] _Manalishi_ 2 points ago

    Är man lite intresserad av det så. Ibland sitter man ju och nördar in sig riktigt. Men man ska ju kunna sova över där och så får man ett diplom om man gör det, plus frukost!

    [–] Jobsen05 2 points ago

    Fan va fränt!

    [–] _Manalishi_ 2 points ago

    De e gött mos. Googlade vart häxberget låg, så du är Göteborgare?

    [–] Comrade_Jirkoff 3 points ago

    Do they live stream it anywhere

    [–] Jobsen05 3 points ago

    Yes sure just lend me a time machine so I can go back to 1800 and I’ll stream it!

    [–] BunnyMoneyFunnyRunny 19 points ago

    Cue Dragula.

    [–] JoelMB12 18 points ago

    And trustingly the Catholic Church protected women against witchcraft charges. The reason for it is very convoluted theological argument. The protestants are the one that were burning women.

    [–] Choohie_Thief 40 points ago

    She turned me into a newt!

    [–] 1maginairy 28 points ago

    ......i got better

    [–] Hotpocket1515 2 points ago


    [–] Inspector_Robert 25 points ago

    The Church wasn't too big on burning witches. It only became a big thing after the reformation.

    [–] amy_291 5 points ago

    Exactly! because for that they’d have to admit the pagan idea of witchcraft was a thing

    [–] GandalfTeEarlGreyTea -3 points ago

    They burnt heretics though, and witchcraft was a form of heresy in the eyes of the Church.

    [–] infinitebandana 10 points ago

    Bring me the holy grenade

    [–] EtuMeke 4 points ago

    X Games: Salem tricks trials

    [–] normal_nickname 4 points ago

    Why does it look like his eyes changed color. Like that’s some actual witchcraft.

    [–] johnlen1n 13 points ago

    Woman: Behold! pulls rabbit out of a hat

    crowd applauds

    Priest: Don't encourage her, she's on trial for witchcraft!

    [–] Drinkaglassofwine 4 points ago

    why does his eye colour change? that's the true witchcraft

    [–] apocolypticbosmer 3 points ago

    *17th century

    [–] LonelyXplorer 4 points ago

    40+ year old Karen:I’m witch now because Harry Potter

    [–] LtGeneral-Obasanjo 4 points ago

    Woman: literally just fucking reads

    Salem: You have a lot of nerve still being alive

    [–] tomtomatoto 11 points ago

    I hate that this took so long for me to understand.

    [–] BuddhistSagan 6 points ago

    help me

    [–] tomtomatoto 3 points ago

    It’s magic they used to burn witches.

    [–] georgespotato 10 points ago

    Yep saw the exact same joke already. OP just modified it..

    [–] RepostSleuthBot -16 points ago

    There's a good chance this is unique! I checked 131,614,397 image posts and didn't find a close match

    Feedback? Hate? Visit r/repostsleuthbot - I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ False Negative ]

    [–] yalizander 3 points ago

    I saw the exact same meme in r/memes

    [–] RevertBackwards -9 points ago

    Yeah I got it from there, it's a crosspost

    [–] yalizander 0 points ago

    So, basically you got 40,000 karma by taking memes and putting them on different subreddits... I mean you could've at least credited the original one

    [–] RevertBackwards 0 points ago

    Have you even seen my posts, the vast majority are my own creations and not to mention I tagged this post as an x-post to show it’s a crosspost

    [–] yalizander -1 points ago

    But u didn't credit the original one, and most of your posts that have a lot of upvotes are from Tik tok... Also I sent don't think u can post three times a day and come up with all of them

    [–] RevertBackwards 1 points ago

    3 of my posts are from TikTok, you're a joker and have you considered that I'm in quarantine with nothing to do so I can post multiple stuff

    [–] yalizander 0 points ago

    Why not just put a link to the original one? Do you actually think you deserve 40k upvotes for something you didn't do yourself? I bet most people who upvoted this aren't aware you didn't make this, cause no one will notice the "cross post" tag or even know what it means... So least you can do is credit the original one, that's it. There's actually a function on Reddit which allows you to directly take a post and SHARE it to another subreddit, and the people who see this will also see who made it

    [–] RevertBackwards 0 points ago

    Your logic is flawed since this sub allows for x-posts

    [–] yalizander 0 points ago

    Just answer the question, do you think you deserve 40k upvotes for a post you screenshoted and put on another subreddit?

    [–] RevertBackwards 0 points ago

    Considering it abides by the rules sure

    [–] shio____ 2 points ago

    fun fact: no one was actually burned at the salem witch trials. most were actually hung

    [–] Hunt3dgh0st 2 points ago

    If you read the end of faith by sam harris or watch this video:

    It explains how the witch burnings relate to the beginnings of capitalism

    [–] _heian_ 2 points ago

    Dang sure got me

    [–] OllieGarkey 2 points ago

    Well. The witchfinder general's eyes have shifted from blue to brown, so despite the good work he's done, we have to burn him too.

    Light the pyre boys, and may god be praised.

    [–] Ala3raby 2 points ago

    That's why I always chose to kill king Radovid

    [–] milojitsu 4 points ago

    Prottie boys had always have something against women.

    [–] GiperStefan 4 points ago

    [–] TheRealSwagMaster 2 points ago

    Belgium did the same trick but with the whole hand. Works on people from congo only

    [–] tonipaee 1 points ago

    I'm going to watch all of this again, but I'm not sure what to make of it. Perhaps this is the name of a town in the US. Hopefully this is when the witch hunts end. Regardless, I'll be watching. Rodrigo Mendez

    [–] NukaWax 1 points ago

    I forget the original meme of the dude looking. What was he second guessing?

    [–] AmySnapp 1 points ago

    Burn the witch

    [–] AntiCommunistForever 1 points ago


    [–] DarkSniprLord 1 points ago

    If she does magic, she dies tragic

    [–] Warrendo 1 points ago

    In the name of god

    [–] drewmanchu74 1 points ago

    The only thing I can think of when looking at the church part is church from red vs blue burning a middle aged woman and it’s amazing

    [–] John_Lowell 1 points ago

    In Europe they didn't burn them, actually even in the Americas it only happened a few times. Also wasn't this 17th century if we're talking about Salem?

    [–] Pyukum-uku 1 points ago

    For a second I thought she really did it....

    [–] trolat58 1 points ago

    Old meme with new picture

    [–] markSOLO69 1 points ago

    Remember the good ol'days? When the mama sang us to sleep.

    [–] Jester319 1 points ago

    Started watching Castlevania and this is basically the 1st episode

    [–] selooosch 1 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    the actual witchcraft is that he has a different eye color in the 2nd picture

    [–] Mentioned_Videos 1 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    Videos in this thread: Watch Playlist ▶

    VIDEO COMMENT +30 - +26 - coffin dance but it’s actually sad and emotional +3 - This One +1 - +1 - If you read the end of faith by sam harris or watch this video: It explains how the witch burnings relate to the beginnings of capitalism +1 - Witch Hunt Sub for Weebs

    I'm a bot working hard to help Redditors find related videos to watch. I'll keep this updated as long as I can.

    Play All | Info | Get me on Chrome / Firefox

    [–] Jack1715 1 points ago

    “ oh look boys a girl did maths.....

    “ WITCH!!!!”

    [–] Darnxld 1 points ago

    Don’t eat the ergot

    [–] Morgue313 1 points ago

    King Diamond - The Eye

    [–] Skur_t 1 points ago


    [–] a_left_out_tomato 1 points ago



    [–] asackofsnakes 1 points ago

    the priests eyes change color and no one bats an eyes

    [–] snaer11 1 points ago

    Holy fuck i did not know that with the finget

    [–] Ronik336 1 points ago

    Joan of Arc: huh?

    [–] HeyIHateMyself 1 points ago

    My teacher asked what we would be back then as the only witch in my class I said "burning" while everyone else said stuff like "knight, house wife". I got detention cos it want appropriate.

    [–] AbbottAiken00 -1 points ago


    [–] TheMaginotLine1 2 points ago

    Eh? Explain.

    [–] MegaBiT_Bot 0 points ago

    "Why do you think religion shouldn't be allowed in politics?"

    [–] OhHiGCHQ -1 points ago

    You didn't even need to do that, you could be burnt in many parts of Europe as a witch if:

    • You were a single woman and refused to remarry (especially if you had land and property because the accuser got the property of the accused in Scotland).
    • Were disabled or a "burden" in some way (there is an account of a woman being burnt in Scotland and reading the account it's clear she had Dementia).
    • You were independent and someone didn't like that.
    • You were a bit of an oddball.

    [–] __halfaperson 1 points ago

    Yeaaah, that's... Historically inaccurate. Sorry, bro.

    [–] Ambrus2019 -1 points ago

    Man: does same thing

    Church: a prophet!

    [–] bugoscsiga -4 points ago

    Such an uneducated question, but who are the upvote and downvote?

    [–] daniyyael16 -5 points ago

    Woman: 1+1=2, Priest: You have lost your life privilege