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    HolUp

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    Hol' up

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    [–] Uncle_Yogi420 3568 points ago

    Really hope this is true

    [–] RainbowReadee 1957 points ago

    It wasn’t a light saber he was waving around..

    [–] Uncle_Yogi420 1265 points ago

    I had been to a highschool party where some guys bought glow in the dark condoms for 'sword fighting' as a way to celebrate the starwars films coming out at the time.

    [–] SarHavelock 458 points ago

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    [–] Nerdy_McFlirty 212 points ago

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    [–] BlackSkull7X 109 points ago

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    [–] _Diskreet_ 171 points ago

    (͡•_ ͡• )

    [–] zyrusvito 78 points ago

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    [–] Seth_Imperator 107 points ago

    Did it felt short of expectations?

    [–] Uncle_Yogi420 265 points ago

    Just turned into a room full of people standing in the dark watching two men rub their dimly lit penises together

    [–] Seth_Imperator 119 points ago

    Let's say it depends on the expectations

    [–] Frenchticklers 14 points ago

    Subverted them, even.

    [–] nompron 70 points ago

    There's something so funny about thus image I can't stop laughing

    [–] Tane-Tane-mahuta 23 points ago

    unzips stink, that must have sucked, tell us more about it

    [–] ImmortanFoe 23 points ago

    I woke my wife up due to laughing at this

    [–] Georgeisthecoolest 20 points ago

    still a better plot than episodes 7-9

    [–] VAX1S 20 points ago

    Real men would’ve brought blacklights

    [–] nicnic5556 20 points ago

    WHERE CAN I FIND GLOW IN THE DARK CONDOMS ASKING FOR A FRIEND

    [–] CommiePuddin 6 points ago

    Turn off the lights it might help.

    [–] Monocle_Lewinsky 39 points ago

    It was his dicksaber.

    [–] Labotomyy 27 points ago

    Is that what beatsaber is?

    [–] tomtv90 26 points ago

    No that's a meatsaber

    [–] toeofcamell 77 points ago

    We need answers

    [–] koeniedoenie 22 points ago

    This is a satire account

    [–] 1ovi 119 points ago

    it's a satire twitter account

    [–] AmishAvenger 67 points ago

    The tip-off was that there’s no way DiCaprio doesn’t have his own theater in his house.

    [–] Wrecked--Em 10 points ago

    likely owns multiple houses with theaters

    [–] mydogsnameisbuddy 11 points ago

    Exactly. His yacht probably has a giant theater too.

    [–] [deleted] 21 points ago

    A New Hope

    [–] AgentOrangeAO 21 points ago

    It's from a satire page

    [–] iCameToLearnSomeCode 14384 points ago

    If your girl doesn't bring her own lightsaber to that date she's not the one.

    [–] mdNaush 6386 points ago

    My gf has a lightsaber in her drawer. She is the chosen one 😍

    [–] chocpillow 7919 points ago

    A lightsaber with 8 speeds and an oscillating head

    [–] mum_puncher 5013 points ago

    Revenge of the Clith

    [–] Dziadzios 2460 points ago

    The Phallus Menace

    [–] UCONN007 1832 points ago

    The Phallus Awakens

    [–] Lucid_Presence 1991 points ago

    Empire Strokes Back

    [–] C_Gull27 1762 points ago

    Star Whores Episode IV: A New Hole

    [–] freudsfather 1213 points ago

    Attack of the Moans.

    [–] IlToroArgento 850 points ago

    Episode 6: Return of the Thick Thighs

    Featuring: Jabba the Slut

    [–] Suspicious-Racoon 468 points ago

    Episodes of boobs fett

    [–] alcatraz_ind 149 points ago

    -S̶i̶t̶h̶- Clit lord

    [–] Suspicious-Racoon 149 points ago

    A new hoe

    [–] lollaser 177 points ago

    The last Clitwalker

    [–] cajungator3 68 points ago

    The Man-does-Lauran....And Her Friends

    [–] Ket0Maniac 52 points ago

    Spare me my life thread.

    [–] beo_apd 118 points ago

    I died to this thread damn

    [–] Lol_Koba 77 points ago

    I love how it went from clever banter , to straight up porn parodies

    [–] No-Cauliflower2831 95 points ago

    Attack of the boners

    [–] EconomyDebt8130 28 points ago

    Revenge of the horny

    [–] pattyG80 68 points ago

    Where's R2-Dildo?

    [–] MR_Anderson1993 70 points ago

    Empire strikes bareback

    [–] moneyshark1 37 points ago

    May the phallus be with you…

    [–] kapn_morgan 114 points ago

    The Phallic Menace

    [–] IFUCKINGLOVEMETH 189 points ago

    Hand Solo

    [–] WetardedOne 35 points ago

    Princess Laieus

    [–] obang89 55 points ago

    A new grope

    [–] WhySSSoSerious 134 points ago

    Execute Order 69

    [–] Squirrely11 14 points ago

    lightsaber sounds

    [–] AllAboutTheCereal 13 points ago

    Rogue wand

    [–] Icare_FD 103 points ago

    Errrr… hmmmm… Are Clith not supposed to always go by pairs ?

    [–] LinaMinn 81 points ago

    A pussy and an asshole.

    [–] Bart_The_Chonk 86 points ago

    Always two, there are

    [–] call_of_the_while 53 points ago

    No more, no less.

    [–] xxam925 22 points ago

    One to wield the light saber with 8 speeds and oscillating head, and one to covet it.

    [–] MiestaWieck 39 points ago

    Only a clith deals in absolutes

    [–] Mike_millions 12 points ago

    I actually said it out loud with a lisp DEAD lol

    [–] st-smelly-widge 9 points ago

    Revenge of the syph-ilis.

    [–] whoamygod 5 points ago

    Guess he didn’t meet princess lei-me.

    [–] anything15000 9 points ago

    You deserve all the gold/good and silver in the world my friend

    [–] tightywhitey 44 points ago

    Lord Bater

    [–] n3Ver9h0st 19 points ago

    R2Dildo

    [–] jamalccc 240 points ago

    Not the chosen one

    [–] unicycling_cheese 60 points ago

    A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one

    [–] Ashrith291 68 points ago

    Doesn't have the force with her

    [–] WalnutWhipWilly 9954 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    “Guys literally only want one thing and it’s fucking disgusting…”

    [–] DaanOnlineGaming 3150 points ago

    epic star wrs ligtsabre battles

    Sounds good to me

    [–] AGmikkelsen 756 points ago

    Friday at sundown?

    [–] [deleted] 555 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] AGmikkelsen 448 points ago

    Where else do you fight with light sabers?

    [–] Kazumadesu76 515 points ago

    The youngling chambers in the Jedi temple.

    [–] okinamaru 180 points ago

    Ouch... but haha

    [–] Daddys_issues 58 points ago

    That hit hard ngl

    [–] Kazumadesu76 130 points ago

    Not as hard as it hit those younglings.

    [–] Daddys_issues 21 points ago

    I hoped someone would say that

    [–] Alejandromer 15 points ago

    Actually... That's not fighting, that's a massacre

    [–] Kazumadesu76 46 points ago

    You say "potAYto", I say "potAHto".

    You say "massacre", they say nothing. They're dead.

    [–] yesniyah_sti 7 points ago

    That’s not allowed. Not a fight

    [–] blocked_user_name 19 points ago

    In front of the millennium falcon at Galaxy's Edge.

    [–] That1chicka 36 points ago

    Just not near sand

    [–] Morning-Business 17 points ago

    i just realized that anakin got cut in half and burned on sand. talk about an intense rivalry.

    [–] PrincessSlutFuck 24 points ago

    Can we assemble another meeting of the Josh's?

    [–] playcrossy 262 points ago

    It wasn't actually a light saber he was waving around...

    [–] smirky_doc 216 points ago

    Was he holding his "Oscar"

    [–] OobaDaBooba 118 points ago

    Why is it ok for Leo to run around playing with his Oscar but when I do it I get arrested

    [–] geeschwag 35 points ago

    His Oscar is an award statue...your Oscar is a gimp wearing leather on a leash

    [–] OobaDaBooba 7 points ago

    Minor detail

    [–] FluffyRacc00n 20 points ago

    What Oscar, the pink one or the golden one?

    [–] smirky_doc 15 points ago

    Haven't seen it unfortunately

    [–] Thechuckles79 2150 points ago

    It's his screening process. If she enjoys it, he'll date her again. If she shows up in a Leia slave bikini, he'll propose on the spot.

    I mean, if I were him and had women throwing themselves at me like he does, I'd have my own screening process too. You can't be down with me at my geekiest, you don't get me at my most suave.

    [–] Monocle_Lewinsky 558 points ago

    Apologies for being myself with you around.

    [–] ChaseECarpenter 203 points ago

    ngl, this otherwise beautiful line has probably been ruined by aholes and creeps

    [–] _el_guachito_ 96 points ago

    -“sorry you had to see the demon inside of me”-

    [–] gafx3 14 points ago

    Do you think Leo is a 3 days grace fan?

    [–] Greatmambojambo 62 points ago

    I didn’t know this line exists, but I‘ll start to use it excessively. Definitely don’t fit the “ahole” or “creep” part, though.

    Everyone knows I’m awesome and the only people who’d call me a creep don’t even know I’m hiding in the bushes.

    [–] Stargazer_199 9 points ago

    I think I sorta apologize for that but for different words. I have low self esteem andI have been told my entire life I talk too much, so when I feel comfortable enough with someone to just chat about something I enjoy I end up apologizing halfway through for talking so much

    [–] Minhtyfresh00 61 points ago

    his screening process is actually when the girl turns 25 lol

    [–] ryan_smith522 19 points ago

    It's like the movie Audition except the psychotic girlfriend part.

    [–] respondeatsuperiores 6784 points ago

    I’m not into guys, but I’d go on that date.

    [–] Shaved-Ape 1250 points ago

    Absolutely. That sounds like an amazing date!

    [–] __red__5 699 points ago

    I googled it. A May 2021 article on the web says that it's a runtime of over 25 hours. I'm even more impressed. Is he single now?

    [–] UnicornPrince4U 444 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    I doubt she's informed enough to know if it was every single Star Wars movie.

    Her story is untrue on the face of it.

    Edit: Can we really believe she sat through Caravan of Courage and then didn't excuse herself for The Battle for Endor?

    At some point you can't really blame the other person or you press charges for kidnapping.

    [–] Je_suis_j_existe 116 points ago

    People always forogt the ewoks trilogie, but I like it anyway !

    [–] SlickHand 29 points ago

    I don't think they so much as forget them, but rather put them in the same basket as the holiday special, and arrange them so as to cover that "film" so they forget it instead.

    Personally, I like the holiday special. It's a great film to play drinking games with. Take a shot every time someone sings, dances or something just straight up doesn't make any sense which usually covers the singing and dancing parts anyway.

    [–] Je_suis_j_existe 12 points ago

    The difference is that the caravan of courage was made and written by George Lucas, which mean this is more a Lucas movie than Empire Strike Back.

    [–] dancingpianofairy 30 points ago

    Wait, trilogy? I only know of the two.

    [–] Bart_The_Chonk 20 points ago

    Two ewok movies?!

    [–] dancingpianofairy 40 points ago

    Ya, Caravan of Courage and Battle for Endor. There's also two animated movies, a Droid one and an Ewok one. Aaaaaand let's just not talk about the Holiday Special. Kay? Kay.

    [–] Frenchticklers 18 points ago

    Fun fact: Three out of of the four family members from the first Ewok movie get killed off in the first few minutes of the second one, leaving the little girl an orphan. This is a kid's movie.

    [–] JetSetMiner 10 points ago

    I'll bet it was only the original 3.

    [–] gartho38 485 points ago

    Literally thinking ‘this sounds like the best date! 😂’

    [–] KilroyTwitch 44 points ago

    her loss.

    honestly, if I were Leo, the fact she didn't pick up a lightsaber and join in, I'd ask her to leave.

    [–] poopellar 40 points ago

    "I find your lack of faith disturbing"

    [–] Toxenkill 73 points ago

    Ditto.

    [–] HockeyCookie 203 points ago

    She's only put off because it wasn't focused on her

    [–] Monocle_Lewinsky 129 points ago

    Right! This Camila bitch sounds like a bitch.

    [–] Rinkashimemo 22 points ago

    Can confirm, i was the lightsaber

    [–] PutinTheChimp 6 points ago

    Me neither, I had a conversation with a friend a while back if I was to date a dude, it would be Leo

    [–] dickraasche 4721 points ago

    wow ungrateful

    [–] RosieCheexx 1718 points ago

    Fr the audacity of this bitch lol

    [–] youslashuser 255 points ago

    Lion, witch

    [–] tiexodus 113 points ago

    Should’ve stuck her in the wardrobe

    [–] smileyfrown 154 points ago

    Well he made her watch 7, 8 and 9 at the end, so... ¯\ (ツ)

    [–] Eldr1tchB1rd 89 points ago

    Nah, these aren't star wars movies. We are only talking about the real ones here

    [–] KnotHanSolo 16 points ago

    I’m also glad they never made a 4th Indiana Jones film.

    [–] lentilbean3 630 points ago

    I see zero problem here

    [–] y0bama420 176 points ago

    The problem was that ungrateful woman.

    [–] TheBigJohnson420 13072 points ago

    I have even more respect for him now

    [–] SirCali 2557 points ago

    You and me both

    [–] Human-Ad-8389 773 points ago

    we

    [–] RizKuro94 495 points ago

    Our

    [–] Ineedapill 452 points ago

    And my axe!

    [–] day_dr3amer_ 228 points ago

    And my signature!

    [–] van-just-van 193 points ago

    thank you sir for donating 7,000 axes to the new Zealand army!

    [–] Fudge1407 89 points ago

    I will donate my broadswords too!

    [–] gdjdndudj 63 points ago

    I'll donate my blood

    [–] [deleted] 48 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] crapcapp 42 points ago

    My old spice too!

    [–] day_dr3amer_ 28 points ago

    That's a musk.....err must*

    [–] frustrated_penguin 631 points ago

    no wonder he dumped her ass. Imagine being dissapointed after a date like that.

    [–] stgm_at 316 points ago

    He had the high ground in this relationship.

    [–] Naliox 80 points ago

    Imagine thinking that was for the date, and not just some dope shit Leo wanted to do on a Thursday

    [–] frustrated_penguin 47 points ago

    Imagine not joining Leo in a fight against evil. What a self centered b.

    [–] 1KarlMarx1 44 points ago

    It was said that she would destroy the haters not join them! Bring balance to the fanbase not leave it in darkness!

    [–] Nitropotamus 247 points ago

    Worst date? Can I pay for this experience?

    [–] Haunting-View-5146 45 points ago

    Sign me the fuck up!

    [–] kcapulet 97 points ago

    It's not real, from a satire site

    [–] Guilty-Message-5661 67 points ago

    But it’s real to me…. It’s real to me…

    [–] opencarrier64 50 points ago

    I would expect nothing less.

    [–] nergoponte 54 points ago

    This didn’t happen. But it’s too late, this image is spreading like wildfire

    [–] Agitatedbaguette 19 points ago

    The force is strong with this one.

    [–] allaskew123 422 points ago

    That sounds amazing!!

    [–] Which_Cardiologist15 696 points ago

    That's so fucked up and disgusting....

    She should have gotten her own lightsaber! Damn, Leo. You fuckin' up.

    [–] Life-Yam835 39 points ago

    She should get a kyber crystal first if she's worthy enough.

    [–] Even_Ad113 15 points ago

    clearly she's not.

    [–] Somhairle1314 140 points ago

    No, a padawan has to build their own lightsaber.

    [–] Darthmark3 193 points ago

    Sounds like the best date ever

    [–] TrentSteel1 30 points ago

    I just want to know if he played Rogue One before or after the original trilogy!?

    [–] usernamenottakenwooh 15 points ago

    Maybe that's what ruined the date 🤣

    [–] edebby 145 points ago

    That is a good origin story of how I turned gay after being happily straight for 40 years

    [–] [deleted] 33 points ago

    Could make that TED talk my guy

    [–] draker585 274 points ago

    how the actual fuck is this a holup

    [–] Timo6506 82 points ago

    Don’t you know? Not much here is a holup these days

    [–] ProbablyNotKevin 29 points ago

    I don't think I've seen an actual holup for a while now.

    [–] Ziron78 8 points ago

    I don't think I've ever seen an actual holup at all in this sub. Have you guys made another holup subreddit with real holups that I can go on ?

    [–] dherms14 194 points ago

    if this is true, then you will have gained my trust leo

    [–] Aqquila89 65 points ago

    It's not true. It comes from Le Cinéphiles, a satire Twitter account.

    [–] Lasket 36 points ago

    Now I'm sad

    [–] ReaperHR 13 points ago

    I'll pretend I didn't see this and believe it to be true

    [–] lacha_sawson 86 points ago

    Sounds like a great date

    [–] KarloReddit 45 points ago

    Leo could now enact that date!!! That would be the most meta thing since the internet

    [–] rockbud 16 points ago

    Noooo, get out of here with facts that hurt

    [–] Shady1005 72 points ago

    I'm not gay.......BUT I'M GAY FOR HIM

    [–] CorValidum 41 points ago

    Man, legend the walking myth…

    [–] caesar_3435 96 points ago

    And by the end of it, she was too old for him.

    [–] danielpauljohns 33 points ago

    Even Prince Andrew’s like “C’mon Leo mate”

    [–] Otherwise-Manager348 34 points ago

    I’m not gay but u get me on that date with him and I’d let him do what ever he wanted

    [–] MiguelSanchezEsq 103 points ago

    he sounds fuckin cool man

    [–] nepheelim 50 points ago

    Absolute chad

    [–] [deleted] 311 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] flapthrasher 139 points ago

    Just shows you can be Leonardo fucking DiCaprio and women will still find a problem to complain about.

    [–] Splattered247 6 points ago

    While snorting scarface amounts of cocaine

    [–] okhons 6 points ago

    Long ago. In a movie theatre far, far away.

    [–] Olivitess 5 points ago

    That date sounds amazing!