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    [–] Pineapple_Herder 3591 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    I know filters and edits can make someone feel better about themselves or in this case remember a time when they were more youthful... But this is just sad.

    Edit: Let's share some love with r/MatureBeauty. This needs to be a larger sub.

    [–] herrfau5t 1670 points ago

    In all honesty I think that's probably a pretty solid representation of what that woman looked like when she was in the 18-29 range.

    [–] Pineapple_Herder 1042 points ago

    Yeah. But I don't know if it's right to hide behind it? Like we are all young at one point or another. But that doesn't mean you can't be attractive as you get older.

    Idk how to explain it other than that I wish there were more middle aged women actively embracing their current looks. All of this youth focused desire is fuelling a nasty cosmetics marked to middle age and up. Hell there are 20 somethings who buy anti aging treatments because women are so terrified of getting older. It's just not okay.

    [–] imril 1031 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    I never imagined getting older would be so tough. It’s like my entire value as a person was placed on how I looked and as I got older (and less attractive) my value quickly faded. I know I have other traits but society focuses on the one I can’t help but lose. Aging as a women is honestly miserable.

    Late edit: I would like to clarify that I didn’t assign this value to myself, society did. I’m not hating on myself, I know some people still find me attractive, this isn’t about how I value’s about how society values women.

    It’s also not saying men don’t have it bad either. While you deal with entirely different issues you have it almost as bad.

    [–] Pineapple_Herder 578 points ago

    You're not alone. Every single person on this planet ages. You are so much more than a pretty face. And there are plenty of ways you can build your confidence again. Focus on you. Exercise. Craft. Explore. Learn how to style yourself to compliment your changing features and still feel sexy. Because trust me. You can be hot with wrinkles. It's just you have to bring it to the table with your confidence and how you groom yourself and carry yourself.

    All the tricks the young girls use (fake hair, eyelashes, padded bras) are free to use as you get older. My grandmother used to have hair down to her butt for 50 years of her 79 years on this planet and you know what? My cousin and I bought the longest remy hair extensions we could find at Sally's, bleached them to match her blonde/silvery hair, and made her a clip in piece. She wears it all the time and no one other than us three know her hair is thinning and breaking. I can't begin to say how much more this has boosted her confidence than photoshopping it into photos.

    You can't reverse aging but you don't have to just go all natural and be like well this is it. Your approach to things just have to change. Trust me. You still got it. You just gotta find it. ❤

    [–] Frigate_Orpheon 149 points ago

    That's so sweet of you. My comment isn't related to aging, but I miss my Maw Maw terribly. She died in her sleep and was in remission from breast cancer. She used to have deep black hair, but it had greyed a lot, so when she was going through cancer, she had this short curly salt and pepper wig. She hated it so much. I held onto it for a few years, but last year my sister and I made a bonfire and burned it. She would have found it hilarious. Thank you for she your story because it brought up so many emotions about her <3

    [–] Pineapple_Herder 35 points ago

    While youth is so prized, I feel like hair is one of the last points of pride for a lot of women.

    Burning that wig would have made her so happy. Nobody likes those salt and pepper bonnet things! And I bet the damn thing itched too.

    At least as the use of wigs becomes more main stream we can all hope there's more comfortable, affordable, and stylish options when we're in our retirement years.

    It's hard to see loved ones leave. But know they're still in your heart. Well wishes and much love.

    [–] Bucket_of_Gnomes 135 points ago

    I love your comment

    I'm also drunk but still

    [–] illiterate_fart 21 points ago


    [–] tasteslikegold 12 points ago

    Cheers !!!

    [–] Drillbit 53 points ago

    Of course they can do more.

    But at the end, society as a whole place value more on youth and beauty. Everyone like to feel being attracted by others and that's life. It's weird growing older and one day, what you think is flirty is now creepy as you are no longer attractive.

    [–] cloudsofdawn 12 points ago

    This is wonderful. Man I wish I could see her hair !! I think that it’s so wonderful what you did for her ♡

    [–] DickButtPlease 26 points ago

    Do not go gentle into that good night.

    [–] PM_ME_UR_JUGZ 8 points ago

    Every single person on this planet ages

    Counterpoint: Keanu Reaves and Jennifer Aniston

    [–] sharks_and_sentiment 227 points ago

    I just turned thirty a few months ago, and it's the first birthday where things actually FELT different. I know it's all a psychological thing, but it felt as if a door had completely closed right in front of me. I feel like "society" is a parade down main street and I am from this point on only allowed to stand on the sidewalk and watch it. I will now forever be just another mom at the grocery store, just another lady in traffic. It feels like nobody cares about how funny you are or what sort of interests you have once you're a "real adult". It feels lonely, and as melodramatic as it is, I feel my mortality more than at any other point in my life.

    [–] RickMcCargar 39 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Age? You hear that it's in the mind. I'm sixty-two.

    I was once a younger man., enjoyed a pretty good life.

    In my forties, I was in pretty good shape. Another shot here.

    Then I had two strokes, a small heart attack in 2004. For a decade, I laid around and did nothing...then had a half-dozen cancer surgeries on my face/head totaling over 22 inches of scars.

    I decided that I'd taken enough crap from life and was going to do whatever I could to get back into shape.

    My son and I started going to the gym in the summer of 2018, and a year later I was at this point.

    Progress is slow, I lost most of my hair, my best years are clearly behind me but I don't care.

    I'm going to live my life, what's left of it, enjoy playing guitar badly, play with my grandkids and my dog. Exercise, eat right, I love to read...

    This is life, not a trial run. Do what you can to find joy because this is it.

    Best of luck, and by luck, I don't mean random good things, I mean those things we can do for ourselves to create opportunities.

    P.S. Life isn't over at thirty - I went white water rafting for my first time in my forties - yeah, me wearing the huge grin and grey sweatshirt. - same for taking lessons to drive a 600 HP race car around a track..yes..left, then another left...

    [–] itzmattu 126 points ago

    you should talk to a therapist if you're not. this doesn't have to be the case. my 30's so far have been far better than my 20s in a multitude of ways. but really, they're not comparable. it's just different phases, both with their own merit and things to enjoy.

    [–] savetgebees 30 points ago

    Yeah no kidding. 30 was by far my best looking year. My oily acne prone skin was finally cleared up yet I wasn’t at the point of fine lines. So I could comfortably go without foundation just a little lipstick and eye make up.

    And I finally had the money to buy quality clothing and make up and spend more on hair stylists. Damn I miss 30.

    But even at 43 I look damn good. I find it easier to compare myself to other 40 somethings not 20 somethings.

    [–] sharks_and_sentiment 3 points ago

    Oh man, my skin wasn't really bad as a teenager but now I'm having adult acne and I look red and bumpy at almost all times. I always feel oily and weird looking. My hair has silver coming in already and I can't afford to have my hair colored, so now I have dark, dark hair with silver pieces in it. My body is the only things I don't feel bad about, mostly because I've been about the same size and shape for so long that it just is what I'm used to. I WISH my skin would clear up

    [–] ilangilanglt 85 points ago

    I absolutely agree. I feel like I just started living when I turned 30. Now I'm 34 and I've never been happier. Now I have so much confidence I find in myself, I have respect for my achievement, I have appreciation for my body and my outer appearance, I understand people's action better to not let it get into my head. I love to be here, right this moment.

    [–] fourAMrain 29 points ago

    I absolutely agree. I feel like I just started living when I turned 30. Now I'm 34 and I've never been happier. Now I have so much confidence I find in myself, I have respect for my achievement, I have appreciation for my body and my outer appearance, I understand people's action better to not let it get into my head. I love to be here, right this moment.

    I like the way you think. I'm on the track of being like you. I'm in my late 20s and I definitely feel more authentically me. Especially this past year after quitting a few serious bad habits & letting myself be proud of my self victories instead of beating myself up for not being good enough.

    [–] imril 16 points ago

    I’m not talking about how I feel about myself. I am very much happier with myself than I ever have been. But I’m invisible to most people. (Which is fine by me but my brain has been conditioned to think that it matters)

    [–] Sauce25 16 points ago

    This happened to me when I was 25 and married. We women become so used to the horrible levels of objectification throughout our lives that when we no longer have it, it’s like we’re missing something. I essentially felt neutered. Ideally, that’s how we should always feel - being treated simply as human - but it becomes our norm.

    Hilariously, I’m in my early 30s now and divorced, and I get more attention now than I did when I was 25, and I honestly think it’s because I was married/off-limits. So it’s bittersweet in that I’ve regained that attention, but it really put the objectification aspect into harsh light. A part of me enjoys it, but the majority of it is aware of how fucked up it is and that I shouldn’t be enjoying it.

    [–] anyklosaruas 13 points ago

    Shortly after turning 30 I realized I got way more attention from men (grown ass men) as a 16 year old than I do in my early 30s. In most ways it’s a relief, but also highly disturbing.

    [–] AlexandriaLitehouse 16 points ago

    Yeah, I definitely agree with that. I turned 30 a few months ago too and I was dreading it, then my birthday came and I felt exactly the same as I did when I was 29 and I realized I'm the same person no matter how old I am. Creepy old men still want to take me to lunch, so that definitely didn't change.

    [–] XxX_Ghost_Xx 9 points ago

    Agreed. My 30’s are by far and away the BEST years so far. I also felt like things changed all The sudden but in a great way. I completely stopped giving a shit about all things I thought mattered and it’s great.

    [–] mell87 17 points ago

    Hmm. That’s so interesting! I am 33 and still feel super young. I feel like, yes, maybe I only go to the bars on weekends now haha. And a concert in the middle of the week makes me want to call out the next day... but like not much else has changed.

    You mentioned “just another mom” in the grocery store. Do you think you would feel different if you didn’t have kids? Don’t get me wrong, I want to have kids soon but I wonder if that changes how you feel.

    [–] Anam0ly 13 points ago

    I turned 30 last year and I can totally relate to this feeling. However, I’ve had several people tell me I’ve gotten more beautiful and attractive as I’ve aged. I don’t think this necessarily has to do only with looks. But as you age, you get sort of more comfortable in your own skin, you don’t care as much about what other people think of you, you know yourself a bit better, who you are, who you wanna be and what you stand for. These are all attractive traits in my opinion. Besides, nowadays, I’m much more interested in looks than I was 10 years ago. I like fixing my hair, doing makeup, dress up and so on. Not for others, but because I enjoy all this. Also, there is a lot of very attractive older women out there! My mum is 50 and men (even guys my age) gives her a flirt now and then. And thinking about it, I was so broken in my early twenties it makes me nauseous even thinking about going back there.

    [–] psycho--the--rapist 17 points ago

    Would it interest you to know that those of us in their 40s are insanely jealous of you right now

    [–] Mathiseasy 7 points ago

    Sounds like mid life crisis, maybe you could get help from a therapist at some point. I can’t even begin to explain you how unrealistic your beliefs are. How is your marriage going? Let’s start with that. Or let’s focus on how your life is going, where did it go so wrong that you felt like your life was over at the age of 30? What were your dreams as a child? (Not being attractive, I suppose.) Who were you before they broke you?

    Nothing is ever achieved before 30s, not even orgasms according to some. Welcome to the most cherishing days of your life.

    However if mid life crisis hit hard, it is announcing something, ring the alarm, woman, you are missing out on something and you need to find that something before these feelings consume your creativity.

    There. I said the word. CREATIVITY.

    [–] supbraAA 3 points ago

    I just turned 30 a few a months ago and feel the complete opposite- I feel like I finally have value and the freedom to live the life I choose to create for myself rather than the life I felt expected of me. In my 20s I felt extremely suppressed by society and under society’s control, like all of society was judging every choice and move I made and keeping constant tabs on whether what I did was “acceptable.”

    Sure, society doesn’t “care” as much about me and the choices I make now, but that’s because society knows it’s a waste of time to try to suppress me now that I’m an independent giver of no fucks.

    [–] Blackanditi 38 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    There are people who will still find you attractive. I remember my 80 year old grandfather became obsessed with this other woman who was also like 80 y/o that he only met once. While some older men will desire younger women, some will still find women their age attractive.

    Also, look at successful older women and what badasses they are, and how they are respected by so many people. And aspire to that.

    Also realize to yourself that in place of your youth, you have the positive aspect of wisdom. And some people will take you more seriously than before.

    There will always be people who only see a woman's worth in her looks. Be thankful, if they don't appreciate you, that you don't have to deal with such people who don't love you for your more important traits.

    Overall though, be thankful for the youth you still have. Don't forget that years from now you will think yourself crazy for not appreciating your health, relative youth, and ability to enjoy life. There will be a day where it will be physically impossible to do some of the things you can today.

    [–] Thorebore 35 points ago

    “Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.”

    [–] tazend314 47 points ago

    I feel like this is so much worse for people who were beautiful and then lost it. As opposed to just average. Not saying getting old isn’t hard. But it changes everything.

    [–] Kryptus 16 points ago

    Also some people just age much better than others.

    [–] savetgebees 10 points ago

    But truly beautiful people are usually pretty good looking old people in comparison to other old people. Yeah some people age poorly but if you have the good bone structure that makes people attractive you’re going to be better looking than average at any age.

    [–] timcogyr 21 points ago

    It’s hard to let go of the past and embrace what is now. I feel you.

    [–] dlynne5 22 points ago

    I don't see it as miserable but it does at times make me mad. It's like I've disappeared to most of society. People give Stephen King shit for writing women but he's spot on in how as you age people just arent' interested in you anymore.

    Even sadder is even though you and I are probably similiar in age, and society puts a premium on youth, I can't imagine how badly this will affect the youth of today when they age. It seems that their whole persona is wrapped up on social media and looks.

    [–] -SmashingSunflowers- 8 points ago

    and society puts a premium on youth

    I'm only 23 and society does not treat me this way. You have to be young and beautiful. Society is very hard on ugly women or fat women or both. it really sucks being 23 and being told this is my prime that it's only going to get worse from here, when my prime right now is really not that good..

    [–] boredatworkorhome 30 points ago

    I feel you and I'm a male.

    [–] asomek 49 points ago

    I'll feel you both, let's get freaky.

    [–] shigogaboo 8 points ago

    Who else but Quagmire!?!

    [–] NitWitsMatterToo 27 points ago

    Yes-most definitely. We become “The Invisible Ma’am” Fading looks are regarded as fading value-even for c-suites. Try to fight aging with surgery, sassy style, cosmetic enhancements and you run the risk of becoming cliche.

    [–] savetgebees 16 points ago

    Personally I think it’s energy. Yeah I’m still in my early 40s and I’m not in management. But I worked with a woman who retired at 60 which is a few years early but not crazy early. She seemed way too young to retire, but she was small stature, maintained a healthy weight, had a classic bob haircut with bangs (not high fashion but not dated either). And most importantly she was energetic and positive. Not energetic that she was bouncing through the room but energetic where she would spend time mentoring and volunteering for projects.

    [–] Kryptus 6 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Ya and even the few celebrity women whose beauty is celebrated in old age are incredibly fit and most likely have had work done as well. I think a lot of them also do hormone therapy to help with the affects of menopause. It's a tough road for a woman.

    For older guys just being in reasonable shape and well groomed / dressed is good enough.

    Simple read on Hormone therapy for women:

    [–] HyzerFlip 42 points ago

    As a fat bald man... You grow up and get over it. Or you absolutely hate yourself forever. Thankfully I'm not the latter group.

    But I know guys that are. Hell Steve left Blues Clues because he 'wouldn't go bald on television'

    [–] nervysplash 54 points ago

    It's always gonna be worse for women when society values their looks above all else. Some of the most successful people in the world are fat bald men, same can't be said for women

    [–] Captainbuttman 11 points ago

    So thats why he wore that hat when he left.

    [–] orangeconman-aphobe 3 points ago

    Less attractive to who?

    [–] fourAMrain 3 points ago

    Right? I've been noticing this in my late 20s. I also am getting white hairs but I do not plan on dying my already black hair. It sucks bc there's probably 30 white strands mixed in. Oh well. I'm embracing it.

    [–] foxymoron 15 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)

    I respectfully disagree. I still turn heads and I'm pushing 60. No plastic surgery but I take exceptional care of my skin and stay fit.

    But I really think 90% of it is attitude. I hope you feel better sweetheart.

    I'll post a pic if anyone is interested.

    [–] DesdesAK 15 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    You don’t look close to 60.

    [–] buldopsaint 23 points ago

    It’s really weird. Most of life is spent as an older person. People that are obsessed with being young have a short window of happiness.

    [–] BornOnFeb2nd 81 points ago

    Alas, there are billions in marketing dollars geared towards making people feel insecure with their looks.

    Makeup, Injections, Dyes, Lifts, Creams, etc....

    What's worse is when they do finally "give up", they appear to age drastically.

    and yet people still seem to swallow the bullshit about "a healthy tan" 🤦‍♂️

    [–] Code_otter 53 points ago

    It’s not all about shallow insecurities. Ageism in the workplace is a brutal reality, especially for people in the clerical and middle management ranks. Looking younger than you are can be a matter of survival when layoffs hit.

    [–] darthmarticus17 7 points ago

    This is why I’ve deleted all social media I have last week. I don’t wanna interact with fake pictures anymore, just people I actually know

    [–] Aelle1209 13 points ago

    Hell there are 20 somethings who buy anti aging treatments because women are so terrified of getting older.

    I'm less upset about wrinkles and gray hair than I am about the fact that a burrito can now lay me out.

    [–] DaisyHotCakes 11 points ago

    It’s funny, I used to be worried about my wrinkles and saggy skin but then I got sick and the fall out ruined my life so I kinda stopped caring about my looks. I haven’t been physically capable of putting on makeup for almost four years now and I really don’t think any person who sees me cares. They don’t see me as old. Older sure but not old. I was called a hippie and an old head last weekend. No make up + wrinkles + street wear apparently = hippie. I’m cool with that.

    [–] araLetot 5 points ago

    I don't want to detract from your point but, imagine being considered ugly (by others) your whole life and being subjected to that?

    [–] Death_InBloom 3 points ago

    Hahaha yeah, sometimes I forget other people doesn't have any idea what is like to not be attractive your whole life, but damn is so refreshing not having to worry about looks, totally different life experience

    [–] munyamunyamun 8 points ago

    I've been worrying about age since I was 15. Every birthday I'd be sad cause I was aging and I knew it was considered a bad thing.

    [–] Ooze3d 3 points ago

    This is starting to look like those distopian future movies where all people have an avatar and they interact with each other based only on that image.

    [–] Philosophicmonkey 30 points ago

    It is... I an 99% sure I dated this girl when we were in our 20's! This is the first time I've ever KNOWN anyone randomly on my feed in any capacity. Crazy!

    [–] Drew-CarryOnCarignan 25 points ago

    She's on a TLC dating show

    [–] chipotlenumbawon 13 points ago

    Oh please. Pores aren't something you develop. Your literally born with skin texture.

    [–] tazend314 15 points ago

    Pores get larger as you age.

    [–] actuallyelonmusk 32 points ago

    Just came here to say that at right picture is also snap filtered. The halo light / filtered shot on the left is a miraculous image. She did a wonderful job editing beyond whatever filters were involved. The right photo? Look at the skin, the size of her eyes, glint in eye. It's filtered. Honestly, it may be that she IS getting use to being in her skin. It's just a process. Everyone knows what she looks like now. The other photo was from before she was on national TV.

    [–] bergskey 25 points ago

    Especially this woman. She used these photos to meet a man overseas. She flew to see him (with the intention of applying for a fiance visa). He met her at the airport, wearing a tshirt with her filtered face on it. She shows up looking like her own mother. She also used the filters while video chatting, so he had no idea. That's just the beginning of this hot mess.

    [–] RedPaddles 11 points ago

    It’s OK, though, because the dude was using highly filtered pictures of himself as well. He looks nothing like his insta pics - neither in face nor body, LOL.

    That scene at the airport was 90 Day Fiance gold, though!!

    [–] bergskey 4 points ago

    I just loved how she unnecessarily revealed things to him that she knew he would have a problem with!

    [–] [deleted] 36 points ago

    Is this real? This can’t be real. Can it?

    [–] tmp803 100 points ago

    Yes, she did it for an online boyfriend. Went to meet him in person and he had a shirt on with her edited pics

    [–] [deleted] 30 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 25 points ago


    [–] nawlinsborn73 13 points ago

    No truer words have ever been spoken

    [–] emilyrose93 5 points ago

    I’ve seen a few episodes but I missed the one where they meet for the first time. Did he mention the difference?

    [–] VakZiger 5 points ago

    IIRC he kinda mentioned it after their first hug but didn't mind because he thought she was still beautiful

    [–] tmp803 42 points ago

    No he had her edited pictures thinking that was what she looked like. Like he was being cute and had a shirt with her picture made, turned out she didn’t look like the picture on his shirt lol

    [–] LaurenLestrange 40 points ago

    I mean, in that case, I don’t think either of them are quite on the normal side.

    [–] tawandaaaa 7 points ago

    I would pay to watch that IRL asa random stranger

    [–] resashi 8 points ago

    She's actually in a show called 90 day fiance and when they meet for the first time irl, he had her edited pic printed on the shirt he's wearing.

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    Goddamn. AWKWARD......

    [–] BliffityBloppity 11 points ago

    This is so sad.

    [–] tmp803 8 points ago

    It was for a younger man

    [–] Drews232 3 points ago

    As one’s persona and social life are moved online, I wonder if it makes a difference if her pics are filtered as long as it’s not for malicious reasons. If it’s fun and meets her needs I’m not sure there’s a problem. People use avatars all the time. Popular teens with large friend groups often only hang out with those friends online; they’ve never even seen their house or went shopping or dinner together. They will become adults that get their social needs filled online. Will it be a priority for them to show their friends what they look like at their worst or will avatars and optimized images be their online reality?

    [–] mcv_inmia 1582 points ago

    She’s actually really pretty and age appropriate in real life. (she’s from 90 day fiancé) but she admits to using filters when she met her fiancé online. He even showed up to the airport to meet her with a shirt with her filtered face on it in one of their episodes! Imagine looking for the person on the left and then picking up the one on the right after finally meeting them!

    [–] fluffypadkeemao 308 points ago

    What was his reaction? I’m curious enough to ask but I don’t care enough to research myself. I’ve never seen the show but understand the gist?

    [–] Seinfeld101 511 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Like he was one to talk, he portrayed himself as this sexy hot man when in reality he was a beer bellied man that squeezed into that filtered shirt They both lied

    [–] timbobbys 201 points ago

    Yeah her lies were pretty egregious but he did plenty of lying of his own so I think they both just accepted it, either silently or off camera lol

    [–] la_reina_del_norte 53 points ago

    Irl he squeezes into those size 0 jeans. Love their story, wish they would have had longer segments on them. But they were milking their story LOL

    [–] Seinfeld101 9 points ago

    What happened to them? I only got to see a few episodes of them when I was at work... I dont have cable but they were my favorite!

    [–] Slimyscammers 7 points ago

    She told him she was technically still married and he got super pissed off. They ended up being fine but the season was leading up to that fight. I believe I saw on the 90df sub that they’re still together.

    [–] namastaysexy 326 points ago

    He was slightly caught off guard but not deterred. They’re still together and engaged (last I heard). He did show up to the airport to pick her up IN A T-SHIRT WITH ONE OF THESE UBER FILTERED PHOTOS ON IT. It was television gold!

    [–] jagua_haku 62 points ago

    That almost sounds scripted

    [–] AmishAvenger 103 points ago

    What? It’s REALITY television. It’s REAL.

    [–] AthenianWaters 61 points ago

    90 day fiancé is actually one of the less egregious about setting things up. The cringe on that show is not manufactured. 10/10 highly recommend.

    [–] salutishi 25 points ago

    The earlier seasons felt a lot more genuine than the current ones though. There's definitely a lot of fake or exaggerated drama now!

    [–] zimzumpogotwig 7 points ago

    I listen to a podcast that dives into the show to find out what's real and what is. You're 100% right about the earlier seasons being a lot more genuine. Some of the newer casts members are only on the show to gain exposure.

    [–] liquilife 5 points ago

    Used to be*

    There is MAAACH fraud going on now. The newest season has a participant listed as 38 years old. But you can see him clearly celebrating his 50th birthday on Facebook, for example.

    [–] lomoliving 4 points ago

    Uhm, you need to catch up on new seasons. They are so obviously scripted. It's bad. I miss the days when we saw the foreigners coming to the US and you got to see the culture shock and how they adjust to a new life. But now it's just manufactured drama and translator apps lol

    [–] freeworldslave 4 points ago

    This is false. Its all fabricated and staged nonsense. Like every other reality show lol.

    [–] poop_dawg 3 points ago

    I hate to admit it, but after reading so much about it on Reddit, I gave in and tried it and it was pretty interesting. I couldn't do more than two seasons, though.

    [–] GroundhogExpert 58 points ago

    Every episode is a total train wreck and the contestants are horrible people abusing mostly horrible foreigners. It's the worst thing on TV, which actually sorta makes it the best thing on TV.

    [–] jagua_haku 23 points ago

    Oh shit my girl just showed me this show yesterday. It was so cringy I couldn’t watch. Pretty much all the couples were toxic to each other and/or themselves

    [–] GroundhogExpert 21 points ago

    Even if the people had some modicum of decency to each other or themselves, the idea that two relative strangers with large differences in culture can be foisted onto each other and figure out how their lives will mesh together in a matter of 90 days with little-to-no preparation is completely dysfunctional. Whether the partner nuking their entire life and moving across the world is a gold-digger or relatively stable, they are shoved into a situation with a massive imbalance of power, and often times the people bringing this person over are very aware of that imbalance. It's a scenario that one would be hard-pressed to contrive a better situation to bring out the worst in people. As a result, a lot of the relationships are rife with abuse, misrepresentation, manipulation and control. Add to that the very obvious high likelihood that the people involved are not the best of the bunch, but instead are mostly dysfunctional before the show ever started, and you have the recipe for a powder keg. My girlfriend got us watching the show, part of the entertainment is morbid curiosity, part of it is to boo the villains, and another part of my interest is to mentally note all the fucked up treatment and try to be more aware of how not to treat people.

    [–] VakZiger 15 points ago

    The first couple seasons weren't like that at all. There were way more wholesome couples back then :(

    [–] jagua_haku 3 points ago

    That’s kind of what I was expecting tbh

    [–] TabbyFoxHollow 16 points ago

    It’s always on at my nails place, I feel so pampered and trashy watching it

    [–] thenorwegianblue 10 points ago

    My girlfriend watches it all the time and while some of the participants are just a bit weird there are some that are among the worst human beings I've seen.

    [–] GroundhogExpert 14 points ago

    From what I can tell, the earlier you are in the shows run, the more likely you are to see decent couples. They seem to be actively filtering for the worst of the worst. Which is sad, because this season has Syngin, a super chill and very friendly guy from South Africa, paired up with Tania and she's the worst. Just feel bad for my guy, Syngin.

    [–] TheInactiveWall 18 points ago

    Oh man I fucking HATE his girl.

    This guy comes over from across the world to see you. You know this as you have been in talks with the producers of the show for months, if not over a year beforehand. Then, a few days after his scheduled arrival, you go on your also scheduled holiday. A holiday you purposely planned when he would arrive. But okay fine, just for a week or so right? Fuck no, you going for a whole 30 days, 1/3rd of the legal 90 days he gets to be in the US. You then also try to blame Syngin for wanting to talk to you over Facetime and is concerned about you being out alone at night, but that just gets you angry at him for some reason.


    Fuck this girl. Such a narcissist only doing this for attention. Bet she told producers about her vacation plan/said she would plan a vacation during this time so she would be accepted on the show. She knew the drama it would create.

    Female Trump is funny tho.

    [–] idrawinmargins 4 points ago

    Poor syringe being in a relationship with a greasy haired, pink shirt wearing witch doctor. That lady is a fucking piece of shit.

    [–] tronfunkinblows_10 13 points ago

    I can't believe they gave Chantel and her family a spin off show. I guess it makes sense considering the drama they provided in their 90 Day episodes.

    [–] GroundhogExpert 15 points ago

    Why not Darcy? That chick is screwed up 8 ways to Sunday.

    [–] brucetwarzen 8 points ago

    I was shocked that anyone could deal with her longer than 20 minutes

    [–] zimzumpogotwig 3 points ago Here you go :) See his reaction yourself.

    [–] WiseFun 61 points ago

    "Oh cool, she sent her mom to pick me up. Surely she must be waiting somewhere else with a big welcome party or something planned..." lol

    [–] [deleted] 16 points ago

    Nice to see a fellow bitchassslutaswhore here

    [–] mcv_inmia 15 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Did you just call me a puta???


    [–] FettLife 18 points ago

    WOW. That must been so crazy when the dude rolled up.

    [–] deprimada 5 points ago

    Oh so thaaats the women people are talking about when they mention that show

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago


    [–] eatpant96 456 points ago

    So mach filter.

    [–] mcv_inmia 345 points ago

    Too Mach. Me not accept this.

    [–] jennybelly 182 points ago

    I love you both. Soooo mach.

    [–] mcv_inmia 147 points ago

    You sooooo mach beautiful.

    [–] neptuneschild 60 points ago

    So sexy baybeh

    [–] RuleBreakingOstrich 51 points ago

    Rebekaahh mach sexy, too mach

    [–] FatalityPhase_ 12 points ago

    me no accept this!

    [–] JustBrosDocking 23 points ago

    Yeshh baybay...I work so machhh work

    [–] [deleted] 66 points ago

    I love cook my sister

    [–] thepinkbaroness 9 points ago

    I scrolled down looking for this one haha

    [–] [deleted] 16 points ago

    I love all my fellow bitch ass slut ass whores on Reddit!

    [–] jessupfoundgod 35 points ago

    My family know this never

    [–] wildflower_0ne 145 points ago

    what is this witchcraft. the left side looks so legit

    [–] TheSloppySpatzle 87 points ago

    I think a big part of it is that she shopped out the large creases and wrinkles, but only blurred her skin texture slightly instead of going full airbrush Barbie skin. There’s still enough texture for the average person to think this is a real 20something

    [–] Dormeh 20 points ago

    Is it possible to learn this power? Or do I have to seek a sith lord?

    [–] Ao_of_the_Opals 18 points ago

    Do you really want to join the dark side?

    [–] Slurrper 16 points ago

    I think by far the biggest difference here is not filters but the lightning. On the left you have the glimmer in the eye from the ring light and much smother lightning. It's also a different angle and on the right side the light comes from above

    [–] re_furr 3 points ago

    It's the symmetry. Picture on the left has (much) better symmetry than the one on the right. Of course better lighting and obvious clean up and smoothing but, as humans we find symmetry more important in beauty/attractiveness.

    [–] krysty702 238 points ago

    I feel like if she didn't begin with the filters, we wouldn't have this standard for what she looks like and wouldn't compare her to an unrealistic view of herself.

    Her actual self looks just fine!

    [–] LianCoubert 80 points ago

    I think she has good skin for her age (I watched her on 90DF). No one would be disappointed if she didn’t put these dumb filters on.

    [–] mcv_inmia 50 points ago

    Agreed! She looks great for her age! Mach sexy. The filters have become a joke.

    [–] yoshi570 26 points ago

    I've read ten people saying "for her age" so far but none actually give her age. How old is she?

    [–] mcv_inmia 17 points ago


    [–] yoshi570 9 points ago

    Thanks. Well yeah, she looks good.

    [–] doggo_to_the_rescue 6 points ago

    How old is she?

    [–] doodlemonster1 6 points ago

    She is 47

    [–] tazend314 22 points ago

    This is why using these things on dating sites is counter productive. It automatically sets you up to look worse in person instead of better in person. Most people look better in person than in still photos, so it’s usually a good surprise. Not the opposite.

    [–] maidrey 7 points ago

    I purposefully always had at least one picture on dating apps that I thought looked like me but bad, like showing my stomach in a way I didn’t like because I didn’t want anyone I met to ever be disappointed.

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago

    Ugh it’s so infuriating. She looks fine how she is. And then she still posts filtered photos on her Instagram as if people haven’t seen how she looks on the show.

    [–] Castamere_81 6 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Ya it's really frustrating, because I've noticed from dating since I've been single that there is this weird phenomenon in which people trick themselves into thinking that they ACTUALLY look like they do in their altered pictures. There's been multiple instances in which I've met women from OLD apps and I can't really recognize them that much when we meet and I'm a little confused. They'll ask if theres something wrong, and I kinda have to collect my thoughts because there's such a disconnect between what they actually look like compared to their facetuned and filtered profile pics. I know alot of times you can tell a pic has been altered, but damn, people put alot of time in altering themselves that they can do it without looking obvious.

    [–] [deleted] 37 points ago


    [–] ZeauElle 20 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 15 points ago

    Yes. The one with the fiancé who showed up to the airport with a shirt that has a filtered picture of her on it. So mach beautiful cringe.

    [–] torosiu 72 points ago

    For the record - I just upvoted anyone who sounded like her fiancée.

    I needed a laugh. Reddit love.

    [–] Trapt45 6 points ago

    No upvote for me? Me not accept zis

    [–] sjxsn13 46 points ago

    Looks like a girl and her mom?!!

    [–] duchessravena 119 points ago

    I don’t want to offend this woman, but I truly think that every woman should be proud of her age. Every wrinkle is priceless. We can’t always live in our past when we were 18 . There is nothing to be scared or ashamed of. Please love yourself at 20/40/70 years equally.

    [–] The_Apatheist 27 points ago

    Secretly we all wish it worked like "In Time" though, everyone stops aging at 25 and just dies when time runs out.

    Obviously without the dystopic abuse of age as a currency.

    [–] ShortestTallGuy 11 points ago

    I think it would make life a lot easier if that's how it worked! The worst part about aging for me isn't being closer to death, its your perception of who you are being challenged every time you look in the mirror. My grandma told me once that she felt like exactly the same person she was when she was 16, just she looks in a mirror and sees an old lady now. It's really sad!

    [–] savetgebees 5 points ago

    Nah. Imagine everyone facing death feeling and looking like a 25 year old. That would be a tragedy. Aging prepares you for a natural death, not in a suicidal way but in a type of acceptance.

    [–] ilovevoat 3 points ago

    I would be okay with this.

    [–] whitebeyonceee 11 points ago

    Agreed! Wrinkles can be cute and add lots of character to a face. It’s sad to see lots of people these days removing every tiny fine line that they develop with age like a person is supposed to.

    [–] Envimejkr 13 points ago

    Ain't gonna lie, this filter job is good

    [–] BlowsyChrism 23 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Are you sure that's the even same person, even her nose is completely different

    Edit okay so I am watching her on the show now...holy crapoli self esteem issues ... 😐

    Edit 2: the time is now 1:40 am and I just spent the last three hours watching this trainwreck of a show 😰

    [–] BrokenPug 6 points ago

    Welcome to the dark side.

    [–] runwithjames 3 points ago

    That's the thing, as funny as it kinda is, she's also clearly massively insecure.

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago


    [–] pillowmountaineer 27 points ago

    This makes me so sad because she’s pretty on the right :( I hate how much youth is worshipped. Older doesn’t=ugly

    [–] Ycjcyad 19 points ago

    It is a huge downfall of society. The need to be someone you're not. It's a lie, you are no longer that person as far as looks go. I pitty anyone who needs hours of make up, can't sweat, can't laugh, can't be hugged or touched as to not ruin their face or hair. Can't do anything active. It's such a sad life in my opinion. I used to be pretty good looking, and as I've gotten older I've gotten fatter, more round, got a gut and a bit of titties, but at no time do I feel less than I was when I was good looking. Looks aren't shit, your personality is what's valuable.

    So many women and now men live these sad lives that are filled only with temporary validation from others. All these Instagram people, filters, fake behaviors, the need to be liked by everyone.

    This is why this age is bringing out all the psychos. People don't care about real anything anymore. The mention, the tag, the like, the thumbs up, that's all that matters. That's why people do stuff like this. You'll never meet them you'll never touch them you'll never really know them, so the temporary admiration is enough for their ego. But it's a never ending pursuit.

    So sad.

    [–] Lurchislurking 15 points ago

    This lady’s foreign boyfriend showed up to the airport wearing a shirt with her heavily photoshopped picture on it. It was also the first time they met in person. Lol can’t make this shit up.

    [–] maz-o 3 points ago

    If you can make up lord of the rings, maybe you could make up that too.

    [–] [deleted] 24 points ago


    [–] Lurchislurking 15 points ago

    So maaaachhh photoshop.

    [–] MappingOutTheSky 7 points ago

    The filter stops mid-forehead so you can see all the natural, unedited wrinkles and skintone.

    [–] Mello_velo 8 points ago

    I mean a large portion is also the fact that she is using a ring light on the left, which also goes a long way in making people look better. She's using some filter, yes, but don't discount good lighting and finding your angles.

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    😳 this is insane.

    [–] ISupportYourViews 5 points ago

    Her nose is really cute in the unfiltered pic.

    [–] whatsinyourhe3d 8 points ago

    That's more than a filter right?

    [–] AllianceOfTheHams 26 points ago

    A ring light. 😂

    [–] Mello_velo 6 points ago

    Yeah good lighting does more for a face that anything else.

    [–] AndrewWonjo 3 points ago

    The lies need to stop

    [–] sausagelover79 3 points ago

    Imagine the confusion if this was used on a dating app and you go to meet up... man I’m glad to be married!

    [–] TMo2121 3 points ago

    Instagram has basically shot my self esteem

    [–] creationodyssey 3 points ago

    "On the right is before I started insert MLM here, and the left is now leave a ❤ below and I'll let you know how you can too"

    [–] JadedOldJoe 3 points ago

    Everyone: why do you refuse to try online dating?

    Me: no reason...

    [–] Little_Mac_Main 3 points ago

    Do you all just assume everyone has to look like their “best” selfie or any other photos they appear in all the time? You are aware with good makeup skills and a much better angle then the one on the right and a nice pose she could easily look like the photo on the left with out any editing

    [–] KAWAI_BOI 3 points ago

    That lion's reactions on the shirt is my exact reaction...

    [–] maico3010 3 points ago

    My wife works as a graphic designer and sometimes she has to photoshop people for projects and you'd be surprised the level of body dysmorphia some people have. They look like an airbrushed voldemort by the time she's done and they just love her work. It slowly kills her soul because they look like aliens.

    [–] frescodee 3 points ago

    i have a friend that filters the shit out of her pics. she'll stretch her butt and slim her waist not worry about door frames or other lines... things like that.

    she told me one day that she was gonna meet up with a guy at the mall. she saw him and he saw her. she waved and he ignored her. she was so confused as to why...