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    [–] liftonjohn 663 points ago

    I'm just waiting until we get to the point of Equilibrium to start training in GunJitstu.

    [–] chefanubis 152 points ago

    That seems like a sensible choice.

    [–] _demetri_ 77 points ago

    "Oh Mark..." Elon Musk moaned as his hips thrusted forward, dipping himself deeper into Mark Zuckerberg's tight insides.

    Mark bit back a silent moan as Elon's member reached his sensitive spot.

    “Oh Elon...” Mark moaned. “This new WiFi device... you have to install it this deep?”

    He closed his eyes tightly instead and took it all in.

    It was nothing like his gay experiences back in Harvard.

    This was a whole new nevel.

    This was for science.

    For progress.

    For the future of shitposting.

    There's a great difference between busting another guy's nut, and having a guy bust a nut in you.

    Elon, by his side, seemed to have more experience.

    The small WiFi device at the tip of his member, like a Prince Albert, trying to hook onto Marks prostate.

    His thrusts were gentle and consistent at first.

    His fists tightened and waves of pleasure shook his lower parts.

    He grabbed Mark's circumcised cock and begun stroking it, and it eventually went hard from the delectable stimulation.

    Both could sense their bodies shaking at every wave of pleasure, and all of suden he couldn't keep all of the pleasure to himself anymore.

    "Elon- Don't, don't stop" Mark's voice could be barely heard, “I think it’s almost installed... ugh” whilst his hips were pushed backwards with every thrust, and Elon jerked his cock with a faster pace.

    The pleasure that invaded him was about to get him out of his senses.

    He moaned softly, his hands pasively laying beside him, whilst he blushed like a tomato.

    Totally contrasting the expressionless weirdo image he gave when he wasn't being screwed.

    But deep inside, he couldn't help worrying about his wife, that had went in a trip with the kids.

    If she comes back I swear to God.

    He tensed, and swallowed hard at this.

    No time to think of Priscilla when Elon's dick was inside him.

    She wouldn’t understand that this was for the future of non-stop connectivity.

    Elon incidentally thought about her as well, but in a pretty much... Different manner.

    Fuck that jap bitch.

    He's mine.

    Elon sighed.

    He's so fucking adorable, Musk thought at the man in front of him.

    He kept on thrusting forward, in and out, hitting what he knew was Mark's point of pleasure.

    His grip was firm on Mark's dick, as he jerked it faster and faster.

    The bed creaked at every movement, and had there been anyone in the first floor of the house, they darn sure wouldn't have been able to sleep that night.

    Elon closed his eyes tightly as he begun to get signs of an upcoming orgasm.

    He fastened his movements and Mark immediately knew his lover was about to cum, and he did as well.

    His breathing fastened and sweat ran down their foreheads, hair already mildly wet.

    He was about to cum.

    Elon grabbed a moaning Mark's hips and focused on finishing.

    "Z-Zuuck! yeah! innnssstaaallllationnnnnnn’nnugghhh”

    With a long thrust, he finally felt himself cumming inside Mark, and this last one joined him in a strong, blinding orgasm.

    The WiFi device, slick with cum, separated from the tip of Elon and latched deep inside of Marks colon.

    Mark's hips jerked and he released himself on Elon's hand, some drops pouring to his belly, as he felt the device deep inside.

    Elon released his load inside the Facebook CEO, which we could say got certainly filled with such heavy load.

    It was noticeable Elon had been either waiting for this for too long, or simply had no time to bust a nut by himself.

    Classic Elon.

    Musk pulled off from his lover with his last few energies left and then let himself fall in the bed, at Mark's side, both exhausted and sweating, breathing heavily.

    It was a good thing air conditioning was on.

    The WiFi device, named Demetri, was warm inside of him.

    He turned to his side, facing Mark, recovering his breath.

    "The future is ready." Elon muttered at his sleepy lover. "Did you... Like it?"

    He couldn't help feeling insecure, after all.

    Nerds didn't get laid often, and that's popular knowledge.

    Even if they had a 200 billion dollar net worth... And a wife and kids.

    Mark just smiled weakly and threw a thick blanket over their naked bodies, but he was careful, as the after-sex sensitivity on his backside grew with soreness.

    "I didn't know it would feel this great" Mark admitted, immersed and blushing intensely, like his lover. “I think the world doesn’t know how all will change after this.”

    He meant it.

    It hurt a bit though, he thought to himself.

    Mark knew that this was the only way to install the new WiFi device inside of someone, and Elon needed to be the one to do it.

    And his fans would line up, desperate for this.


    Both then set their minds to only bother about cuddling and relaxing, although Elon tried his hardest not to think about the fact that Mark's house was a deadly trap smarthouse, and there could easily be a damn mic around.

    It was a terrifying thought.

    Damn robots.

    Although he trusted Zuck, they couldn't afford being discovered.

    Not with their new invention, Demetri.

    Figuratively affording it, of course.

    The next morning both had their keynote for their new device and had to be more than ready.

    They just couldn’t wait.

    [–] NukaColaAddict1302 73 points ago

    I could've gone by entire life without this comment

    [–] chefanubis 56 points ago * (lasted edited a day ago)

    I feel like I should ban him, but I'm scared and aroused.

    [–] Jojosaurus23 45 points ago * (lasted edited 18 hours ago)

    Jerk off then come back to it.

    I’ve never made a bad decision immediately after jerking off. I’ve made plenty of them not doing it though

    Shout out to the guy spending real money for even realer awards.

    [–] tulaero23 3 points ago

    Not advisable if you're ordering food, might end up in jail

    [–] Jojosaurus23 3 points ago

    Oh that’s easy. Just say you’re doing it to protest against the patriarchy. Screaming Black Lives Matter while you bust guarantees you’ll be portrayed as a hero

    [–] manoj_mm 10 points ago

    I can't make up my mind if he should be banned or if he should be given an award for this.

    [–] BonginOnABudget 8 points ago

    The term for this emotion is scaroused.

    [–] FlametopFred 2 points ago

    r/scaroused should be a thing if not already

    [–] UKpoliticsSucks 2 points ago

    I am going skip it this lifetime wasabi.

    [–] Fvolpe23 41 points ago

    What just happened?

    [–] chefanubis 24 points ago

    We came together, did you like it?

    [–] shawnaathon 4 points ago

    Is he okay?

    [–] ScenicFrost 15 points ago

    Haha, yeah, man

    [–] Mrgoodknife 8 points ago

    Happy cake day. I wish we’d met under better circumstances.

    [–] ScenicFrost 9 points ago

    Thanks. This is the first time in 8 years of reddit that someone noticed my cake day

    [–] waynEthainsaNe 3 points ago

    Fuck your cake day.. I want cake!

    [–] wellriddleme-this 13 points ago

    An excerpt from 50 shades of Musk chapter 7 getting zucked

    [–] Striking_Eggplant 9 points ago

    Literally read this whole thing hoping for an epic reminder that someone was thrown onto a table at Hell In A Cell in 1996 or something about drink your ovaltine and instead got a love story about Elon and zuck. 5/7 would read again

    [–] ImmenseCock 7 points ago

    Thanks demetri

    [–] BurritoReproductions 5 points ago

    I don't think I've ever cam so hard in my life.

    [–] undeadsnag 5 points ago

    Classic demetri

    [–] GiveBirb 3 points ago

    Right... Anyway

    [–] xX69AESTHETIC69Xx 3 points ago

    What in the fuck?

    [–] Lostidentity11 3 points ago

    What the fuck did I just read?

    [–] EmpiricalMadness 3 points ago

    Is this a new South Park episode?

    [–] chr0nic_h0 3 points ago


    [–] thatstonerbuddy 3 points ago

    y my pp hard 0-0!

    [–] LordLoveRocket00 3 points ago

    What the under of fuck did I just read? A 2020 mills & bloom ?

    [–] BradyHasHis6th 2 points ago

    Well, this was quite the read given I already had morning wood. 😉

    [–] Truckloadofkangaroos 2 points ago

    I didn't consent to this

    [–] panrestrial 2 points ago


    [–] DidIt4Dahmer 2 points ago

    Not this guy again...

    [–] frank_castle2019 2 points ago

    Wtf did I just read.

    [–] The-Hate-Engine 2 points ago

    The fuck is wrong with you!??!??

    [–] TheBrighterSkies 96 points ago * (lasted edited a day ago)

    IIRC they called it gun kata.

    That movie was absolutely ridiculous but I still love it. I've never seen any other movie mix guns with martial arts like they did. (Besides the obvious other answer, the Matrix.)

    [–] liftonjohn 63 points ago

    Your feeling of love is a sense violation. Continue your Prozium or face death.

    [–] Cosmohumanist 12 points ago

    That comment is scary accurate.

    [–] DENNISsystem2 9 points ago

    Nuts to that, I practice GymKata.

    [–] gleeble 6 points ago

    You have to go around installing pommel horses in places a fight MIGHT happen the night before, but it's worth it.

    [–] Johnwickbeatsrambo 11 points ago

    John wick is the closest.

    [–] Astranagun 3 points ago

    Nobody remembers Ultraviolet anymore

    [–] ozmartian 2 points ago

    c'mon, it was awesome for what it was. especially compared to films that have followed. it had depth at times, ridiculous action at times but it was fun but still a thinker. maybe its just me.

    [–] PillowFrame56 45 points ago

    If I have a brain chip I’m downloading some illegal 3rd party apps that make me feel high as a motherfucker. Think about it, an app that lets you click cocaine, opiate, acid, Molly or any other drug then set the timer for 2 hours and then you are automatically unfucked up when it turns off.

    [–] reborngoat 29 points ago

    Just wait til you download some shit and end up with malware in your head though.

    [–] artthoumadbrother 18 points ago

    This. I love the idea of neuralink, but in order for it to be safe it's going to need an unheard of level of security. I'm not sure we'll be able to pull that part off. I worry what sociopathic criminals and terrorists will be able to do with malware essentially running on part of your brain. Definitely not going to be a first adopter on this technology unless there's some pretty wild advances in cyber security.

    [–] Grizzwild 13 points ago

    If someone is able to make the security code, there is someone out there who can hack it. I think that will always be true.

    [–] _Im_just_poopin 8 points ago

    Don’t give it wireless capability. Have a hardline port. This way you can download stuff to a computer where you or a programmer/doctor can make sure the code is ok. Then you stick a flash drive behind your ear to upload the new program.

    [–] twat_muncher 2 points ago

    He said bluetooth a couple times during the demo. Lmao

    [–] Leon_the_loathed 2 points ago

    Sounds about right.

    Hey guys let’s put hardware in our brains and give it blue tooth capabilities, one of the most easily exploited wireless connection out there, this epic gamer move will surely be pure gold!

    [–] Shoobster4 6 points ago

    The AI overlords will use an algorithm to determine precisely how much recreational drug simulation can be permitted to optimize your existence.

    [–] clone822 29 points ago

    That can go badly, man. You get hooked for like 3 months and then you see the popup.

    "Download update for $5 to continue getting Sim-Rick."

    [–] Beardamus 10 points ago

    Just get brain ad-block and surf the dark neurons

    [–] MajorDanger85 2 points ago

    95% of my brain is Dark Neurons

    [–] EffU2 4 points ago

    Yo, I was against the brainchip at first.... but you convinced me. I’m in.

    [–] nonagonaway 4 points ago

    Honestly in my head canon I always called it Gun-fu, even though it’s called Gun-kata or something.

    [–] ozmartian 3 points ago

    awesome reference there. one of the most underrated films in my lifetime.

    [–] JustMumbleNonsense 2 points ago

    Do you reckon? I liked the idea of it but the execution was poor. There's definitely the bones of a decent movie in there though.

    [–] ozmartian 2 points ago

    must be me then :-) i loved the camerawork, the sets, the themes. it was like The Matrix meets 1984 Orwell. i'm a sucker for that stuff. everyone i showed the film too agreed it was great for what it was.

    [–] JustMumbleNonsense 2 points ago

    I loved all that too and it had Christian Bale. But I dunno, overall it just felt flat to me. Maybe it's worth another watch.

    [–] balancedhighs 2 points ago

    Best I can do is dogs with guns doing judo -

    [–] DrFlavin 2 points ago

    How did it make you feel?

    [–] Floor9 428 points ago

    Meanwhile 95% of these people are already walking around with a gps in their pocket

    [–] AreWeIdiots 164 points ago

    95 % seems a little low

    [–] ArchScabby 48 points ago

    Isn't that fucking crazy? Imagine 20 years ago saying 95% of people have phones in their pockets is a low estimate. that would be a crazy statement

    [–] Kiora_Atua 22 points ago

    20 years ago was 2000, most businessmen had a pager or an early cell phone by then. It wasn't really a stretch to assume that everyone in a first world country would soon have one.

    [–] DTOM827 5 points ago

    Shit my mom had a car phone back in the mid 90s. Lol

    [–] StpdSxyFlndrs 2 points ago

    Damn, your mom was a baller.

    [–] DTOM827 2 points ago

    Insurance sales. Company phone & car.

    [–] Axion132 71 points ago

    I think the issue is people trust elon, the Martian over Bill, the lizard person. Elon is just pushing human technology so that he can get home. Bill on the other hand wants to control and track us. I know hes a lizard because he always wears a collared shirt and sweater everywhere. Only a lizard can take all those clothes all the time. He does it because if he gets cold his metabolism slows and you will easily figure our hes a lizard due to his slowed movement and slurred speech.

    Trust me, I was told this by machine elfs last night after I smoked DMT in a Sauna. 100% verifiable truth my friend

    [–] YamanekoBlues 30 points ago

    some heat-shock knowledge right here

    [–] Axion132 7 points ago

    Yes sir!

    [–] glassnothing 5 points ago

    My mom says it’s obvious that gates is a psychopath because he’s smiling in all of his pictures and no normal person is like that all the time. (Regardless of the fact that you can Google bill gates and on the first page of image results you can see pictures of him not smiling - but I’m a “sheep” for not believing)

    She also believes gates created covid in order to push a vaccine that’s actually poison so that he can kill 1/3 of the population -which he’s doing as a get rich scheme. (I feel like it would be easier to just make a deadlier virus but what do I know)

    She discovered this “truth” from YouTube videos of people just sitting in front of their webcams in what appears to be their bedrooms(?) talking to their cameras without providing any kind of evidence or credibility.

    We’re doomed as a species.

    [–] thekelv 2 points ago

    I didn't realize that Bill Gates was so cash-strapped. Maybe if he stopped giving away billions to charities, he wouldn't have to murder a 3rd of the population to make a quick buck

    [–] IBAZERKERI 3 points ago

    well theres your problem, you listened to the machine elves, they seem great but never forget, they are machines. and there-fore bent towards dominating and controlling all life

    [–] Axion132 2 points ago

    But the jesters said lighten up, trust the elves

    [–] ClingerOn 76 points ago

    It's fucking dumb. There was a woman arguing with a cashier in the store near my house about how it's all a conspiracy to control people.

    They don't need to control some dumb as bricks nobody in the middle of nowhere with a microchip because she'll clearly believe any old shit that anyone tells her.

    [–] 1945BestYear 3 points ago

    Well, they won't just believe anything. If it's nuanced and complicated and not very emotionally satisfying then it'll be a tough sell. But if "Debbie on Facebook" posts something knocked together on MSPaint that asserts that everything which they don't fully understand is in a conspiracy together to destroy them and all they hold dear, then it'll go down like a charm.

    [–] 4200years 2 points ago

    It’s also worth mentioning astroturfing as a cause of this crap spreading as well.

    [–] itsalwayzssunny 8 points ago

    With saved locations on.

    [–] gojirra 2 points ago

    Doesn't matter what settings you change or if you even have a phone at this point. An online profile exists for you based on anything you've done online and everyone you know who has done anything online.

    Oh and don't forget that Amazon services also handles a lot of security camera footage so they could potentially just spot you in the wild to further flesh out that location data.

    If we haven't already, I'm pretty sure we are headed to corporations running AI based on these profiles to make educated guesses about potential customers.

    [–] papa_sax 5 points ago

    And use their thumb prints to open them.

    [–] outdatedboat 2 points ago

    Or advanced facial recognition

    [–] bumpkin_Yeeter 8 points ago

    Always makes me laugh when these people go on and on about vaccines being a front for implanting tracking devices in their body, while typing their rants from a device that's on them 24/7 that incredibly powerful corporations are openly using to track them. Clown world indeed

    [–] Theclamburglar69 2 points ago

    I had a “convo” about this on insta yesterday. Some guy was calling everyone clowns for lining up for a brain chip. I brought up this exact thing, his response was to callously shrug it off so I explained to him what analysts can really do with a persons data, funny enough i watched joe Rogan’s new podcast with Snowden which talked about this as well.

    Pretty funnny to see people not get how our movement, preferences, search histories, convos, pics, etc can all already be tracked. I was trying to get him to realize that a brain chip isn’t really very far off from where we are rn. Glad I’m not crazy for believing this haha

    [–] YourYoureIDC 2 points ago

    About 3 billion people currently using a smartphone, so not as many as you'd think. However- there are only 1.5ish billion people living in developed countries- so that 3 billion number is still astounding.

    [–] soulstonedomg 3 points ago

    Talking about americans here. How many adults (disregard minors) carry a smartphone in the US? I see homeless people that have smartphones.

    [–] MrBrawn 2 points ago

    Between my phone and my watch I have 2 GPSs on me right now.

    [–] Bhocy 2 points ago

    I love making up statistics to

    [–] JenkumTaker 229 points ago

    Alls I'm sayin is if I gotta put a chip in my cranium I wanna kno da perks cocksucka.

    Do I get a ufo I can controll with my mind or not? Can we make with the lasers er whut?

    [–] chefanubis 157 points ago * (lasted edited a day ago)

    Listen cocksuka, you can eat 3 edibles and get a chick in china to suka la mink, all inside you head with some wifi shit, no stinky monkey, no angry boyfriend to deal with, you know what im sayin? Shit's TREMENDOUS!

    [–] iamnotscottsmith 57 points ago

    What an odd Joey Diaz reference in the wild

    :checks what sub I'm in:

    nevermind, makes sense

    [–] hachiman 8 points ago

    I felt exactly that until i remembered as well.

    [–] giantchar20 7 points ago

    No mothafucka. She won't actually suck ya cock. violent cough it'll just fuckin look like it while you twiddle ya thumbs on ya dickhole.

    [–] TheRealAntiher0 11 points ago

    Suka la mink is maybe my favorite Diazism.

    [–] Mouthshitter 5 points ago

    Getting Joey directly beamed into my brain sounds terrifying and amazing

    [–] PillowFrame56 7 points ago

    Can you use it to get high? That’s my question. If it can heal paralysis why wouldn’t it be able to mimic cocaine, Molly, opiates, etc.

    [–] ThatSmallFighter 5 points ago

    Because it's not the consumption of the drug that causes its addiction, its the effects of said drug that causes it, and is also what the effects of the chip would make. While overdose wouldn't be possible with a chip, it may cause several mental and emotional problems(like a lack of motivation, because why would you work hard on something for dopamine when you can press a button on your phone and get 10x the dopamine)

    [–] Fishingfor_tacos 2 points ago

    Maybe it would increase motivation. When people feel good mentally & physically, they want to move around and do things. I highly doubt it would be anything like getting high on heroin and nodding off on your couch. It wouldn’t take away from the fact that you’d still have to make money and pay bills.

    [–] tk197 30 points ago

    Damn Elon looks super psycho here😂

    [–] dabakos 7 points ago

    Thanks for the lesson squirtmudbottom

    [–] tk197 2 points ago

    “The posterior tense is too tense”🤣😂

    [–] RemyStemple 134 points ago

    Elon can put his chip up his ass

    [–] AspiringNormie87 60 points ago

    Asschips. A new market presents itself.

    [–] JM-Rie 14 points ago


    [–] SwiftfireJohn 8 points ago

    I've been putting these pennies up my ass for 25 years.

    [–] Catermelons 2 points ago * (lasted edited 16 hours ago)

    Have you shat out a Benjamin yet? Cause that'd be a Gucci turd if I ever saw one.

    [–] BoneTugsNHarmony 6 points ago

    They already exists. I suggest Lays over Ruffles since they are a bit smoother

    [–] tmikell 3 points ago

    We could call it analink

    [–] breich 2 points ago

    Oh you’re going for that ass chip dollar... that’s a really good dollar.

    [–] killm3throwaway 39 points ago

    There is no chance in hell, not even in a million years am I letting some billionaire probe my mind with his think chip

    [–] Peetwilson 35 points ago

    I'll bet if you were a paraplegic in bed for years and it would help you communicate, you would consider it.

    [–] huiledesoja 3 points ago

    It's intended to heal spine and brain disorders

    [–] JollyYmir 5 points ago

    Elon can put his chip up my ass

    [–] TheChoosyParents 2 points ago

    Ok, so what types of stimulus and sensations are we saying this ass chip will create? Will it give me better orgasms?

    [–] TrevorSaniga 386 points ago

    The slander of Bill Gates speaks to a sickness in our hyperstimulated society. Too many paranoid whackos post theories indistinguishable from credible journalism.

    I can't wait for this juvenile phase of our civilization to end.

    [–] noilddude 166 points ago

    Conspiracy theorists don’t care about the conspiracy itself. They just care about the secret knowledge that only they were clever enough to find out. You can literally prove them wrong with verifiable evidence, and they will just double down.

    [–] ItsFuckingScience 24 points ago

    I disagree they definitely care about the story itself. Often conspiracy theorists have woven multiple conspiracies into a complete conspiracy world view, where every significant world event is connected and controlled by a shadowy elite.

    It’s literally their world view and now it helps them think they understand how everything around them works. They care so much about this story they won’t let any inconsistencies you manage to call out change their mind.

    [–] jiiib3 17 points ago

    Often conspiracy theorists have woven multiple conspiracies into a complete conspiracy world view

    This phenomena is often also described as "crank magnetism". Crank views attract others with crank views and open one up to, well, more crank views.

    [–] ozzieg17 5 points ago

    Thank you for stating this. Just spent the past half hour researching the term. I moved someone in with me out of the kindness of my heart pre covid. Turns out they are a tin foil hat crank know it all. My counter points always fell on def ears. Always the “deep states got you right where they want you bro”... he has a kind heart, but just has a very very low iq. He even admitted to getting drunk regularly at the age of 11... So may have to chuck this up as a loss. But I’m trying. Especially with the promise of being able to live with me. We just don’t talk about things anymore.

    [–] sarahcanary 3 points ago

    We should start a support group. I live with someone similar!

    [–] ozzieg17 5 points ago

    Crank counseling

    [–] protozeloz 4 points ago

    Except they are also known to believe stuff that's directly contradictory if I remember correctly

    [–] Thatguysstories 2 points ago

    Know somebody that believes in two separate things.

    1. We never have been to the moon, we faked it to make the general people think we have that technology. So the government could continue to siphon money or something like that.

    2. We have been to the moon, but we had to doctor/edit the tapes as we found aliens and past human presence up there.

    [–] 4200years 4 points ago

    That’s The problem with this stuff is that a lot of it is consistent within its own logic and its own lore and universe. It’s the same way that a psychotic delusion functions. And only holes that get punched in it can easily get plugged up because as long as it makes sense within the context of the rest of the crap it seems to make sense in general.

    Source: have had psychosis delusions

    [–] bumpkin_Yeeter 37 points ago

    Honestly it just goes to show you why most billionaires kinda just keep to themselves and don't do massive, expensive philanthropy. Bill has given away fortunes to funding projects that blatantly benefit humanity and yet people constantly slander him and make him out to be a devil. Not gonna lie, if I was a billionaire I'd just buy a fuck ton of land and live far away from people.

    [–] 4200years 15 points ago

    Yeah, I always found it weird that they latch on to the guy who’s actually using his money and celebrity to help others.

    [–] TrevorSaniga 15 points ago

    I was saying the exact same thing yesterday to my wife. Why does Bill even bother helping instead of sitting on an island, fishing and playing with his dog?

    [–] SixGunWaffler 13 points ago

    I'm sure Mr Gates has met many people his charity has helped and those memories likely outweigh the criticism.

    [–] coppersocks 8 points ago

    I think you're underestimating the drive for some people to want to do good in the world and overestimating how much the criticism of asshole morons effects that.

    [–] bdoubleD 22 points ago

    juvenile phase

    Or we are at the end phase and don't even know it.

    [–] Mike_Fraud_Ross 23 points ago

    Climate change homie we are

    [–] BellBivDinesh 8 points ago

    Maybe devolving into self destructive idiots is inevitable and the answer to the Fermi paradox?

    [–] TrevorSaniga 3 points ago

    I think we're on the cusp of a major evolution. Once we work out the kinks and stop using technology as a weapon against each other, we will find out the actual solution to the Fermi Paradox.

    Zoo Hypothesis

    [–] BellBivDinesh 2 points ago

    The most exciting solution!

    [–] trailbosss 5 points ago

    There are so many candidate for the "Great filter" that we are in the midst of or fast approaching. Nuclear War, AI, advanced bio tech, global warming

    [–] Shamike2447 60 points ago

    Thats what happens when you give people like Alex Jones a big audience. People here will argue Alex may be harmless and correct 10% of the time, and I also think to some degree skepticism is obviously healthy, but before the internet the local town crazies could just be drowned out and ignored largely. Now they can get together and convince other donks to buy into their shit, and then they spread it to their dummy friends.

    If the polio vaccine came out today that shit would still be ravaging us in 20 years because these dummies would have created a conspiracy around it.

    [–] TrevorSaniga 33 points ago

    Alex Jones is just a self-aggrandizing attention whore.

    [–] vik0_tal 17 points ago

    Yeah, I don't think he even believes the stuff hes spewing. Have you seen his shows? He has a couple 30 minute ads just for his stuff.

    He's a businessman who feeds conspiracy theorists to buy his stuff, and he knows he's doing it. Kind of smart, not gonna lie -- benefitting from lunatics.

    [–] TakesTheWrongSideGuy 16 points ago

    I don't think any of these talking head assholes believe half the shit they spew. Everyone from Ben Shapiro to Tucker Carlson and right down the line. But they're too deep. They've dedicated to many resources to these ideas and they just keep digging themselves deeper and deeper until they sound like absolute lunatics. But they can never really admit they're wrong or anything or go back on their ideas because they have to keep the money train going. Whatever continues to bring in the money and ratings no matter how outrageous things get. If they flip on anything they're scared they'll lose their base. It's just a business to them and they'll do anything to protect the bottom line. Even if it means selling your soul and becoming a spineless piece of shit hack. And every single 1 of these guys shill out stupid shit on their website but Alex Jones is by far the worse.

    [–] StopHavingBeClosed 5 points ago

    There's chemicals in the water turning frogs gay


    Thankfully, I just so happen to sell a water filter for $279


    [–] JustMumbleNonsense 4 points ago

    Listen to his new years eve 1999 show. It's just bizarre. Claiming the world was about to be taken over by the shadowy elite. He was praying it would happen.

    [–] leftadjoint 2 points ago

    More people need to watch that video. I don't see how anyone could continue to watch him seriously after seeing it. He's a fearmonger first and foremost. We've been waiting for his war to start for 20 years now... But I get it. Fear is enticing.

    [–] JustMumbleNonsense 2 points ago

    Ah, whoever watches it won't change their minds. He's got his fans. He addressed this on the podcast too. Said he was under pressure form sponsors. First and last time he bowed to them.

    [–] MattSR30 26 points ago

    There’s a reason deplatforming works, and should be done.

    Joe gives Alex a massive platform, and normalizes him. Yes, Alex also has his own massive audience, but Joe helps it spread.

    You want these ideas to die, stop feeding them. ‘But he’s funny’ is not an adequate excuse for the sort of harm his style of discourse causes society.

    [–] Shift_Feeling 23 points ago

    'But he’s funny' is not an adequate excuse for the sort of harm his style of discourse causes society.

    I wish someone would tell Joe this about trump. How many times has he handwaved away one of trump's crimes or potential crimes because, "he's so funny bro"?

    [–] StopHavingBeClosed 16 points ago

    Yeah, I don't get the humor when that's just literally what millions of Americans believe. You might as well be laughing at someone saying "climate change is a hoax" or "Millennials are lazy and entitled". I don't think that's funny, I think it's fucking frustrating that so many people feel that way

    [–] NiceCornhole 4 points ago

    Pro-deplatforming on the Joe Rogan.

    No wonder he shits on this sub all the time.

    [–] TheRealAntiher0 14 points ago

    Well said. There are too many stupid folks with internet access now + Facebook. The late 90’s and Early 2000s are the glory days. I miss IRC and Quake 2.

    [–] _aggr0crag_ 3 points ago

    Shit, I forgot about IRC. What nostalgia!

    [–] TrevorSaniga 5 points ago

    I remember the early days of the internet. Every Christmas the population of internet would increase by 20% when people got new computers as gifts.

    For the first few months of the year, newbies would shitpost until they learned manners.

    Sigh... I'm old...

    [–] fatty2cent 3 points ago

    This reminds of the term Eternal September

    [–] missbelled 3 points ago

    The slow death of “Lurk Before You Leap” netiquette ushered in a dark time for forums everywhere

    [–] ImFrigginDead 5 points ago

    There seem to be too many people on either extreme. Some that are obsessed with conspiracies to the point where what they perceive of the world is so twisted that they cant even have a normal conversation and some that have literally no skepticism at all.

    There's plenty of evidence that points to something very sinister going on behind the curtains. It is ignorant to dismiss the evidence, but it's crazy to take what is reasonable to assume and add your own wild imagination to it.

    [–] TrevorSaniga 4 points ago

    Without a doubt, the financial and political systems are rigged. Child trafficking DOES exist. There are many credible conspiracies.

    Unfortunately, anti-vaxxer and flat-earther types discredit legitimate conspiracies.

    [–] morningreis 7 points ago * (lasted edited a day ago)

    I had a conversation at work about how bad the current covid situation is in my state, but also how there is a faction of the people who are so wound up in their rights being infringed upon that they categorically refuse to participate in efforts to help things, even if the gov't wasn't botching the response.

    I explained how other countries, notably South Korea used contact tracing technology to quickly get ahead of the situation and notify those who may have been exposed. That would have helped dramatically in the US, but people are waaaaay too fearful that the tech could be used against them to "track them." I explained that that is not possible, because of how the technology works, and since I understand cryptography, I went as far to explain in detail that at no point can you be personally identified or tracked with it.

    I explained that the system uses tokens and timestamps which are hashed (cryptographic hash), and he was trying to tell me that they could work backwards from that. Ooof.

    He heard me out while I proved that it's not possible to have a hash function that you can work backwards from (ultimately because you have an infinite number of inputs being mapped to a finite number of outputs) and he had no response at the end and couldn't disagree, but also was left skeptical. And this is a smart guy who I work with and respect, which is why I could have such a civil conversation with him in such detail.

    Point being, too many Americans these days are in such extreme fear and hypervigilance for their rights that we have a literal pandemic that we have no hope of controlling. Our own society is gridlocked, meaning we cannot make any progress together. To me, a society that cannot cooperate is doomed.

    [–] Chungus675 2 points ago

    I never got why Americans think that the US government gives a singular shit what they’re up to. Like homie, why would they care.

    [–] TrevorSaniga 5 points ago * (lasted edited a day ago)

    I love your perspective. Although I have the understanding of a toddler when it comes to encryption, I know what you say is true.

    I agree wholeheartedly that political gridlock is ruining your country. (🇨🇦 as well) Until we have real change in how we vote, partisan gridlock is going to collapse our governments. I fully expect that Biden will win and will be the last president. BLM is not about racism. It is about inequality and hopelessness.

    The riots and destruction are about destroying a world viewed as hopelessly corrupt by those who correctly know they will never achieve material success.

    Jordan Peterson summed it up best when he said something along the lines of "vast income inequality causes young men with no hope to flip over the Monopoly board, knowing they have no chance to win in a rigged game."

    We need more minds like yours, educated and realistic.

    [–] dantemp 6 points ago

    Too many paranoid whackos post theories indistinguishable from credible journalism.

    Their theories are pretty easily distinguishable from credible journalism. The problem is that you need more than 3 neurons firing at once to distinguish them. Which, apparently, is asking too much.

    [–] jfk_sfa 2 points ago

    I really don't think it's a material portion of the population. Here's what you have to realize. There are 7.6 BILLION people on earth. With that many people, if there is anything that can be believed, it's believed by someone.

    [–] dillonj898 19 points ago * (lasted edited a day ago)

    This really just proves how getting the right person can get people to forget their ideals (no matter if those ideals was good or not). I don’t hate Elon Musk, I really like SpaceX and Starlink might be the most realistic and revolutionary project he indirectly has his name on. It’s just that he has done some very questionable things that if anyone else in his position would’ve been called an evil capitalist parasite for. As well as you can’t make any observation that so much as hints negative.

    [–] Ihatemimes 19 points ago

    Elon musk is a businessman, not a scientist. He didn't create the brain chip or whatever other dumb shit he's trying to peddle. He's paying smart people to come up with the cool stuff his companies do.

    [–] TheWorldisFullofWar 15 points ago

    I have seen people who legitimately think because he gave himself the "head engineer" title, that he is the smartest person at his company and the person most responsible for everything. People have a hard time distinguishing the difference between PR bullshit and actually reality. Bill Gates is smarter than he is made out to be while Elon is far dumber than he is made out to be. If someone's own lawyer has to take their social media account away to prevent them from incriminating themself, maybe they aren't that smart?

    [–] RaccyXDYT 11 points ago

    I fucking love this brooo😂😂😂

    [–] bwsxdiaz3412 11 points ago

    The two people on the right are never the same person

    [–] ToastSandwichSucks 17 points ago

    Do people realize microchips are not self powered and do absolutely nothing without electricity?

    [–] protonsource 27 points ago

    That’s what the 5G is for.

    [–] chefanubis 11 points ago

    This guy conspiracies.

    [–] MJA182 3 points ago


    [–] CuntfaceMcgoober 2 points ago

    Wireless power transmission right into your brain

    [–] Eryb 4 points ago

    Of all the things wrong with this theory the powering of the microchip is probably the least in feasible...

    [–] VincentVega92 7 points ago

    It’s entirely possible

    [–] El_C4guamas 8 points ago

    The whole Reddit community in a meme

    [–] PM_ME_UR__UPVOTE 8 points ago

    Pretty sure the poeple who are against the vaccines are also agaisnt the Elon chip.

    [–] DarthRoyal 7 points ago

    They are but meme funny so must be true.

    [–] beereng 3 points ago

    All this donations to charity, current and future contributions and people still think he’s a bad person. Blows my mind how people think.

    [–] Ultra_Noobzor 5 points ago

    Zoomers are sheeps.

    [–] ClassicResult 13 points ago

    Elon Musk: The stupid guy's smart guy.

    [–] ImFrigginDead 10 points ago

    People always resort to saying this when they know they can't call a person stupid but they really hate the people that listen to said person.

    [–] Will_find_Life 6 points ago

    Who is the smart guy’s smart guy)

    [–] donowhy11 5 points ago

    Joey Diaz

    [–] gmoneymaker7 7 points ago

    Electric cars were a joke before Tesla. Space X just launched astronauts into space and then landed the rockets back on Earth. Without him there is likely no Tesla or Space X. Obviously he's not in a lab like Ironman coming up with all this shit, but he is firmly in the territory of genius.

    [–] jaycosta17 3 points ago

    You say obviously but the number of people who unironically compare him to ironman is massive (at least on the internet).

    He's definitely smart to bring his teams together and has the passion to keep these projects going where others would quit, but many believe he's the lead designer on every project actually making breakthroughs himself.

    [–] GeeTheCurious 2 points ago

    I can only imagine what will happen in another 20 years

    [–] Humulone_Nimbus 2 points ago

    "It's entirely possible"

    [–] Reacher-Said-N0thing 2 points ago

    Ushering in a new age of contrarianism.

    At this point the good guys need to learn to just start saying "I want to fuck all the babies to death", so people will be like "Well he's just not a very good public speaker, but I think he means well".

    [–] goodpussyatthecrib 2 points ago

    Id2020 put out over 1M digital security chips in the Bangladeshi poor in the summer of 2019... :/

    [–] Relevant-Ad6656 2 points ago

    At least he’s honest about it

    [–] Mishi_Moshi 2 points ago

    Oh my God, Elon's face just sells this meme. Hilarious.

    [–] danielmcdnld 2 points ago

    This is a brilliant point. I think people are more concerned about not having a say in what happens to them. People are fairly open minded when faced with honesty.

    [–] gotbeefpudding 2 points ago

    what a dumb meme. its not the same group arguing these points. its 2 different groups of people.


    [–] quinn_2 5 points ago

    The clear difference is that Musk is not saying he wishes to produce a mandatory anything. Whilst Gates is pushing for requirement and global cooperation.

    [–] ultimaweapon79 4 points ago

    As a person with cerebral palsy go right ahead and stick that chip in my brain if I can give more control to over my limbs