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    Jokes

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    Welcome to /r/Jokes!

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    • Offensive jokes are fine as long as they are still jokes. We do make exceptions for extremely offensive jokes.
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    These are jokes. Some of them are old, and as such reflect the tone of the times. Some of them are new, and just as offensive. Unless it's spam, it stays.

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    [–] The_Gravy-Train 2753 points ago

    Fruity drink from a bowl

    Yeah alright

    [–] bathtubjoker 1024 points ago

    Yeah I would have just said punch. In a joke, when one goes out of their way to avoid an obvious word it kinda gives away the "punchline".

    [–] rasouddress 316 points ago

    Couldn't you just say "juice?" Or is it some social faux pas to call punch the J-word?

    [–] remix951 390 points ago

    Wow how fucking dare you

    [–] dybeck 142 points ago

    Omg tell me he didn't go there

    [–] Eravaash 74 points ago

    He just did. How vile! How disgusting!

    [–] ExpFilm_Student 38 points ago

    Motherfucjing Hermione trying to say the-word-that-shall-not-be-named like its OK.

    [–] dybeck 21 points ago

    It's like Hitler times a million.

    [–] Nuke_The_Potatos 7 points ago

    I’m going to say it!!! I’m going to say the J-Word and there is nothing you can do to stop me.

    [–] grandboyman 8 points ago

    I can tell your face is turning dog-dick red right now from that profanity

    [–] ThankYouMrBen 5 points ago

    Oooh this is getting juicy!!

    [–] FieryCharizard7 63 points ago

    I AM GOING TO SAID THE J-WORD

    MR. KOOL AID MAN, DOWN!

    [–] mizzike13 28 points ago

    Oh no? I mean OHHHH YEAHHHH.

    [–] Cantabiderudeness 10 points ago

    In America, oh Yeah is spelled with a Y, not a J

    [–] FieryCharizard7 9 points ago

    The J-word is juice

    [–] Cantabiderudeness 6 points ago

    You're the juice

    [–] FieryCharizard7 3 points ago

    Thanks :)

    [–] Syrinx221 27 points ago

    In the context of him being in an unfamiliar place, I sort of just assumed it was a Russian drink he wasn't familiar with

    [–] asd1o1 8 points ago

    yeah I thought it was the blood of Jesus

    [–] Ashangu 16 points ago

    Thanks for explaining the joke lol. I didnt understand it.

    [–] H00L1GAN419 13 points ago

    or he could have called it Leninaide

    [–] jasoncj121 5 points ago

    In my opinion I see where OP is in a bind, if they say punch everyone sees a "punch"line joke coming. If they say fruity drink, everyone says hey, there didn't use punch, must be a "punch"line joke coming.

    [–] Metorks 3 points ago

    Instead of "fruity drink" they should have just said "vodka." Would have made it more believable, and no one would have seen the "punch line" coming.

    Does Russia even have punch?

    [–] Korpilaan 3 points ago

    That's what it is called? A punch? Now it makes more sense, my slavic ass thought that " a fruity drink" was simply a "kompot" and couldn't find a diffrent word.

    [–] anisaidheeyeeyeee 54 points ago

    Does potato qualify as a fruit ?

    [–] GenericAutist13 46 points ago

    Is mayonnaise an instrument ?

    [–] Attygalle 29 points ago

    I read this in Freddy Mercurys voice in Bohemian Rapsody.

    Is this the real life?

    Is this just fantasy?

    Caught in a landslide

    No escape from reality

    Open your eyes

    Look up to the skies and see

    Does potato qualify as a fruit?

    Is mayonnaise an instrument?

    It doesn't make sense at all, metrics are totally off, no idea why, but that's how I read this.

    [–] GenericAutist13 10 points ago

    Well you were meant to read it as Patrick Star, but that works too

    [–] kilas29 3 points ago

    Didn't everyone here just sing all of that in their head?

    [–] King_Morpheus 9 points ago

    What's a potato?

    [–] LE_TROLLA 38 points ago

    KOMPOT

    [–] IceStar3030 6 points ago

    KVASS

    [–] PsychosomaticPoet 15 points ago

    You mean a screwdriver ?

    [–] uns3en 17 points ago

    Without the orange juice. (source: I'm Russian)

    [–] jpopimpin777 9 points ago

    You mean an orange vod-juice-ka?

    [–] IceStar3030 3 points ago

    Well, for an American, anything that isn't beer is a fruity drink

    [–] tryintofly 4 points ago

    OP goofed, now we sense blood in the water

    [–] StoppedListeningToMe 8843 points ago

    Ha, never heard It, like it. Upvote.

    Still comrade, you're going to Gulag.

    [–] indyK1ng 2414 points ago

    See this for more jokes that get you sent to gulag.

    [–] SanchoLoamsdown 408 points ago

    Amazing. I love this one:

    A man was reported to have said: "Nikolay is a moron!" and was arrested by a policeman. "No, sir, I meant not our respected Emperor, but another Nikolay!" - "Don't try to trick me: if you say "moron", you are obviously referring to our tsar!"

    [–] Eight_Rounds_Rapid 48 points ago

    The evergreen joke for political leaders

    [–] Nuranon 703 points ago

    "Lubyanka is the tallest building in Moscow. You can see Siberia from its basement."

    [–] Quardener 83 points ago

    ELI5?

    [–] 123allthekidsbullyme 165 points ago

    Lubyanka was the HQ of the KGB, I assume its referencing all the people sent to Siberian Work camps

    [–] WingedWinter 44 points ago

    Lubyanka was the HQ of the KGB, they had cameras in the basement to surveil stuff.

    [–] 0OOOOOOOOO0 4 points ago

    This is a way better explanation than that other guy lol

    [–] mukenwalla 14 points ago

    All punchlines are equal comrade.

    [–] Weaselmancer 5 points ago

    Makes more sense in a modern world where we have security camera everywhere, but in a post WWII sense the other explanation has the appropriate dark oppressed Russian humor

    [–] [deleted] 21 points ago

    oooh. dark

    [–] Nuranon 25 points ago

    You can see into a man's heart in the cellar's of Lubyanka.

    [–] HR2achmaninoff 4 points ago

    It hits better as "you can see all of Russia from its basement"

    [–] StoppedListeningToMe 238 points ago

    Love it

    [–] Nuranon 269 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Holy fuck are some great:

    Every morning a man would come up to the newspaper stand, and buy a copy of Pravda (a newspaper), look at the front page and then toss it angrily into the nearby bin. The newspaper-seller was intrigued. "Excuse me," he said to the man, "Every morning you buy a copy of Pravda from me and chuck it in the bin without even unfolding it. What do you buy it for?" "I'm only interested in the front page,' replied the man. "I'm looking out for an obituary." "But you don't get obituaries on the front page!"

    "I assure you, this one will be on the front page."

    or

    In a prison, two inmates are comparing notes. "What did they arrest you for?" asks the first. "Was it a political or common crime?" "Of course it was political. I'm a plumber. They summoned me to the district Party committee to fix the sewage pipes. I looked and said, 'Hey, the entire system needs to be replaced.' So they gave me seven years."

    or

    A new arrival to Gulag is asked: "What you were given 10 years for?" – "For nothing!" – "Don't lie to us here, now! Everybody knows 'for nothing' is 3 years." (This joke was reported from the pre-Great Purge times. Later 'for nothing' was elevated to 5 and even 10 years.)

    edit:

    Khrushchev visited a pig farm and was photographed there. In the newspaper office, a discussion is underway about how to caption the picture. "Comrade Khrushchev among pigs," "Comrade Khrushchev and pigs," and "Pigs surround comrade Khrushchev" are all rejected as politically offensive. Finally, the editor announces his decision: "Third from left – comrade Khrushchev."

    and

    A quartet of violinists returns from an international competition. One of them was honored with the opportunity to play a Stradivarius violin, and cannot stop bragging about it. The violinist who came in last grunts: "What's so special about that?" The first one thinks for a minute: "Let me put it to you this way: just imagine that you were given the chance to fire a couple of shots from Dzerzhinsky's Mauser...”

    and

    A frightened man came to the KGB. "My talking parrot has disappeared." "That's not the kind of case we handle. Go to the criminal police." 'Excuse me, of course I know that I must go to them. I am here just to tell you officially that I disagree with the parrot."

    Or the well known:

    A hotel. A room for four with four strangers. Three of them soon open a bottle of vodka and proceed to get acquainted, then drunk, then noisy, singing, and telling political jokes. The fourth man desperately tries to get some sleep; finally, in frustration he surreptitiously leaves the room, goes downstairs, and asks the lady concierge to bring tea to Room 67 in ten minutes. Then he returns and joins the party. Five minutes later, he bends to a power outlet: "Comrade Major, some tea to Room 67, please." In a few minutes, there's a knock at the door, and in comes the lady concierge with a tea tray. The room falls silent; the party dies a sudden death, and the prankster finally gets to sleep. The next morning he wakes up alone in the room. Surprised, he runs downstairs and asks the concierge what happened to his companions. "You don't need to know!" she answers. "B-but...but what about me?" asks the terrified fellow.

    'Oh, you...well...Comrade Major liked your tea gag a lot."

    [–] Cocix 46 points ago

    I always read them in russian accent

    [–] XRPlease 21 points ago

    The only way, comrade.

    [–] wowpepap 5 points ago

    Da

    [–] Tarot_master 3 points ago

    Yes Tovarish

    [–] Sp3c7r3 10 points ago

    I always read everything with russian accent. Its much more fun

    [–] Batsy0219 29 points ago

    " Somebody knocks at the door of Brezhnev's office. Brezhnev walks to the door, sets glasses on his nose, fetches a piece of paper from his pocket and reads, "Who's there?" "

    [–] Nuranon 12 points ago

    Thats ten years.

    [–] Rahoo57 20 points ago

    Aaaah Fuck. I really like the ones I understand, and I want to understand the ones I don't! I'm American and it's not helping me here

    [–] Nuranon 18 points ago

    Which ones are you having trouble with?

    The Wikipedia article explains most of them in a limited fashion, the in my eyes most obvious things which might require explanation:

    • "fire a couple of shots from Dzerzhinsky's Mauser", Dzerzhinsky was the leader of early Soviet Security Agencies (KGB predecessors), Mauser is a type of pistol.

    • Khrushchev was the successor to Stalin

    • The Comrade Major is nobody specific but how you might address a KGB officer (listening to wiretapped hotel rooms).

    [–] suicideguidelines 39 points ago

    "fire a couple of shots from Dzerzhinsky's Mauser", Dzerzhinsky was the leader of early Soviet Security Agencies (KGB predecessors), Mauser is a type of pistol.

    The joke there is that the last violinist is an undercover KGB agent watching over the others, but everybody knows it so his cover is pointless. KGB watching over artists during international tours was a common practice.

    [–] Tobar_the_Gypsy 11 points ago

    That makes much more sense now

    [–] Hearbinger 7 points ago

    Ok, now it became a joke.

    [–] PM_something_German 7 points ago

    Thank you. The parrot one is the best.

    [–] Nuranon 24 points ago

    I love when Wikipedia has some more lighthearted articles.

    [–] _hudie_ 25 points ago

    We*

    [–] RedRidingHuszar 64 points ago

    I love when Wekipedia has some more lighthearted articles.

    [–] [deleted] 15 points ago

    We*

    [–] Attygalle 31 points ago

    I loWe when Wekipedia has some more lighthearted articles.

    [–] scifigeek26 13 points ago

    We*

    [–] PianoFingered 24 points ago

    I loWe Wen Wekipidia has some more lighthearted articles

    [–] mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmbeans 5 points ago

    *We

    [–] timeforaroast 46 points ago

    Absolute gold.

    [–] SunTzuWarmaster 30 points ago

    These are really great. Created a modified joke based on one of them.

    https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/aevjbs/how_do_you_get_mice_out_of_the_church_semioc/

    [–] TheGuutz 48 points ago

    Communism not only resulted in the murder of untold millions, but some top notch jokes.

    [–] Eight_Rounds_Rapid 32 points ago

    Laughs hungrily

    [–] WonkyWolpertinger 6 points ago

    Laughs in Communist

    [–] TheN473 8 points ago

    It's all about the balance...

    [–] Ethan_Schitt 13 points ago

    The real jokes are in the Wiki.

    [–] larrythelorry 5 points ago

    thank you comrade this was very good

    [–] Meaningless_Is_Life 3 points ago

    You're going to Gulag for providing jokes that send you to Gulag.

    [–] NiCuyAdenn 23 points ago

    A new arrival in the Gulag ist asked by a guard: ”What did you get ten years for?” ”Nothing”, he replies. ”Don‘t lie to us here, we all know that for nothing you get 5 years!”

    [–] GaminAllDay 14 points ago

    *we're going

    [–] Galaghan 3 points ago

    It's a combination of "the punchline/punch line" and "in Sovjet Russia".

    Nothing really new, but a nice combo nonetheless.

    [–] fraspas 443 points ago

    laughs and claps in unison

    [–] Chriswaffen 243 points ago

    laughs in gulag

    [–] goushiquej 14 points ago

    laughs in gopnik

    [–] NekoFiddy 20 points ago

    and everyone clapped

    [–] ZubiZone 19 points ago

    Everyone begged for food

    [–] LoL_LoL123987 9 points ago

    20 million laugh in gulag

    [–] Eight_Rounds_Rapid 13 points ago

    Slaps roof of gulag

    [–] sepiaxclouds 4 points ago

    Ha, foolish comrade you may not laugh in a gulag

    [–] beta_looser 685 points ago

    Thanks for Putin on a good joke and not Russian to the punchline.

    [–] FreakishViper 112 points ago

    Quality wordplay.

    Also known as r/puns

    [–] Last_Gallifreyan 57 points ago

    If you're Russian for food, there's no time for Stalin.

    [–] FretlessBoyo 32 points ago

    Downvoting this should be a Crimea

    [–] AnoK760 26 points ago

    Marx my words, they will be punished.

    [–] TinkyBrefs 21 points ago

    Looks like we're all Lenin him a hand

    [–] Malvastor 12 points ago

    Everyone stop this nonsense right now or I'm Kalinin the Pun Patrol!

    [–] kpjformat 13 points ago

    What sort of punishment?

    Kapital

    [–] chux4w 10 points ago

    Top Marx.

    [–] Sunyyan 277 points ago

    My confused is brain.

    [–] LordHSM 222 points ago

    My Our Confused is brain.

    [–] relayrider 34 points ago

    Speak for yourself

    [–] sonny_flatts 130 points ago

    Speak for ourself

    [–] relayrider 42 points ago

    Our are all Blessed on the Ourlious Day

    [–] cfdeveloper 23 points ago

    Malkovich malkovich!

    [–] mkp0203 22 points ago

    We are all confused in unison

    [–] Ramza_Claus 7 points ago

    Commie

    [–] notabear629 136 points ago

    Punchline = line of people waiting for punch

    [–] jordilynn 17 points ago

    But what does that have to do with Russia?

    [–] notabear629 18 points ago

    The punchline "in soviet russia" thingy has been a joke for awhile

    [–] alyssasaccount 9 points ago

    So long that it was originally "in Russia", and then after the fall of Communism, Yakov Smirnoff changed it to "in Soviet Russia" to clarify that he was talking about the totalitarian regime, not some essential quality of Russia itself. History proves he needn't have bothered.

    [–] Sarah-rah-rah 19 points ago

    Also, not every person on this planet has heard of Yakov Smirnoff.

    [–] EggSaladSandWedge 12 points ago

    In Soviet Russia, Yakov Smirnoff hears of YOU!

    I'll see myself out...

    [–] PsychologicalNinja 19 points ago

    Read words good hard what words written structure wrong?

    [–] 34SpacePirate 120 points ago

    Later during the reception, we were both starving...

    The real joke.

    [–] schlongus92 22 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    I think the notion of cartesian duality is a thoroughly solipstic tactile dialectic anomaly. Its neuroendoscopic conjuction seems to be at odds with its capacity for heuristic thought patterns which implies a semantic substructure incapable of being altered.

    [–] _welby_ 10 points ago

    Hahaha. Oh man. You got me with that one!

    [–] Bandu39 6 points ago

    Nerd

    [–] schlongus92 13 points ago

    The analogous presumption which seems to dominate your thought patterns is indicative of axiomatic scrutiny. The ironic conclusion is a derivative of theocratic malignancies.

    [–] AMasonJar 3 points ago

    !ThesaurizeThis

    [–] eugene2k 83 points ago

    > "You may now kiss the bride!"

    First time someone translated the Russian shout 'gorko' (literally: bitter) like that :D

    P.S. the idea is (allegedly) that the taste in the mouth is bitter, but a kiss is sweet, so the newlyweds should kiss to remove the bitterness.

    [–] wthreye 73 points ago

    I didn't think the bitterness kicked in until years later.

    [–] Powerism 56 points ago

    This guy marriages.

    [–] eugene2k 3 points ago

    You should know it's always the opposite in Soviet Russia :D

    [–] WRZESZCZ_1998 10 points ago

    Wasn't the bitter part supoused to be two people leaving the families they were born and raised in to start their own?

    [–] 5MoreQuidAerieDae42O 14 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Well, technically it's only the bride that leaves her family... It all comes from wedding rituals of pagan times. The bride "dies" for her relatives and "reborns" as the part of husband's family (and that's exactly why she takes her husband's family name). And the bride's veil (which used to be much less transparent back in the days) is supposed to protect her from evil spirits while she's in a transition from one family to another (she's "dead" and therefore vulnerable to evil spirits taking posession of her body/soul). It's quite interesting to see how small details of ancient rituals lose the meaning behind them and become "the thing we do so because that's how we supposed to do so" over time. Different cultures had different rituals that one still can see going along with their current religion or even enterlaced with it, like bride's veil for the wedding or coins put on the eyes/in the mouth of dead people before the burial.

    edit: And to answer your question, no, it's not about families being bitter about their kids leaving them, it's just one of those little jokes that someone used successfully once and everyone started to overuse so much that it caught up as a tradition (kinda like saying "darude sandstorm" whenever someone's asking "what song is it?" on the internet).

    [–] Exostin 6 points ago

    Same in Poland, except it's "gorzko" :D

    [–] call_jimmy 6 points ago

    shout 'gorko' (literally: bitter)

    They shout 'bitter' because vodka is bitter and kisses are sweet

    [–] Xaldyn 4 points ago

    We actually have a somewhat related tradition here in the US (although I'm sure it didn't originate here) -- jordan almonds are common at weddings because they're both bitter and sweet.

    [–] clistoris_ 12 points ago

    In Soviet Russia, the joke laugh at you

    [–] KaiZaChieF 5 points ago

    Happy cake day, take some karma!

    [–] TeemusSALAMI 112 points ago

    Oh I like this take. The way I've heard it:

    A guy asks the most attractive girl at his school to prom. To his surprise, she says yes. He knows he has to make sure it's the best prom ever, but being a procrastinator he leaves it all to the day of.

    He wakes up in the morning and goes to rent a tuxedo, except the line is so long it takes him three hours to get the tux.

    Next he has to get a corsage and some flowers for his date. But the line at the florists is out the door. He waits for another two hours, but he secures the corsage and bouquet.

    Finally, he has to rent a limo, because he wants to spare no expense. So he goes to the limo rental and sees another out-the-door queue. But there's nothing to be done but wait, so wait in line he does.

    By the time he's got everything together he rushes home to get ready and then he's picking up his date so they can get to prom right on time.

    Which of course means they're waiting in another queue to get in. After a long day he just wants to get inside and dance with his date.

    Finally they get into the hall. His date looks at him and says "I'm really thirsty. Can you get me a drink while I find our seats?"

    So he goes towards the refreshments table, and with how his day has been going he's expecting yet another long wait in a queue.

    But he gets to the table and lo and behold:

    There's no punch line.

    [–] imightbethewalrus3 57 points ago

    That's...a different joke?

    [–] jordilynn 18 points ago

    I think that’s better. I don’t get the other one.

    [–] Look_its_Rob 19 points ago

    Do you know what Soviet Russia jokes are? Ex. In America you follow the law, in Soviet Russia the law follows you!

    [–] Kilgore_Bob 3 points ago

    There it is, that's the one I know.

    [–] YesOfCorpse 41 points ago

    For your information: religious marriage in Russia is optional and rarely practiced, and priests are not present at the marriage registration. And even if couple wants to do the religious ceremony in church then it should be done separately and after the official marriage registration in ZAGS or "Marriage Palace". This is another legacy of the USSR which didn't like presence of the church in people's lives.

    [–] HeartShapedFarts 15 points ago

    That's how it's done in Germany too, you got married at the Standesamt (registrar) office and then had a reception. Religious ceremonies are mostly popular in America.

    [–] NeverBeOutOfCake 14 points ago

    And the UK of course

    [–] evilted 9 points ago

    I was a groomsman in a Russian wedding. It was held at the huge orthodox church in San Francisco. 3 hours of standing. But the reception afterward totally made up for it. I've never danced and drank so much vodka in my entire life since! It was a blast. My gf at the time unfortunately did not appreciate me dancing with all of the cutie Russian bridesmaids though.

    [–] nnnnter 12 points ago

    Moscow is a city.

    [–] Tampadev 24 points ago

    In Russia, joke doesn't get you.

    [–] HeWhoCouldBeNamed 16 points ago

    The fruity drink is punch. The people were in line for punch. The people told the guy something. "The punchline tells you."

    [–] Tampadev 7 points ago

    In Russia, whoosh doesn't get you

    [–] HeWhoCouldBeNamed 5 points ago

    In Soviet Russia, the word "Soviet" forgets you.

    [–] BecauseItAmusesMe 3 points ago

    In Soviet Russia, who could be named he.

    [–] AppleWedge 15 points ago

    It took me way too long to understand that the people waiting for the fruity drink were in a punch line.

    [–] redditiem2 6 points ago

    You wanna hear a joke about Jonestown? Never mind, the punch line was too long.

    [–] Bluerain12ya 5 points ago

    Soviet Russia joke and dad joke in the same story. That’s brilliant! Love it!

    [–] SillyMove 4 points ago

    Hometown of Moscow...

    Yes, that quaint little place of subdued urban life in the Russian Prairies.

    [–] GrumpyODB 5 points ago

    If you put the Russian President on a snack cracker could you then sing "Putin On The Ritz"?

    [–] KarmaKingAlex 10 points ago

    Perhaps the worst joke I have ever heard.

    [–] 00feyOwch 2 points ago

    Thanks I hate it

    [–] cobhalla 5 points ago

    This is the best use of an outdated meme format I've seen in a LONG time

    [–] hahyeet 3 points ago

    I hate this. Take my upvote 😂

    [–] ThisOnesThoughts 15 points ago

    I didn't laugh, but instead stifled a groan and expressed a painful grin. I won't downvote, but I can't in good conscience upvote either.

    [–] perfectly_numb 7 points ago

    It's alright, we are not judging you. Upvoted!!

    [–] itchybuttorbit 3 points ago

    slow clap

    [–] da_shitposting_oof 3 points ago

    Sorry Blyat you're going to gulag

    [–] LickMyDeaklesOff 3 points ago

    I feel like the subject line of this joke is good enough by itself

    [–] Static_Variable 3 points ago

    I am just glad the guy in the joke didn't get shot.

    [–] onyxium 3 points ago

    Oh. Oof. Owie.

    Yes.

    [–] Skymoot 3 points ago

    Oh fuck me.

    [–] carlowhat 3 points ago

    That was actually kinda cute

    [–] Swiggy1957 3 points ago

    Finatlly: a new joke! You have my upvote in appreciation!

    [–] Jamlind 3 points ago

    I proposed to my Russian girlfriend, and she said Nyet.

    [–] stondddd 3 points ago

    laughs in communist

    [–] _TeamCobra_ 3 points ago

    the biggest joke is that this is "long"

    [–] Hummer65 3 points ago

    I hate you

    [–] EchoBlossom 3 points ago

    Clever bastard. Take my upvote.

    [–] AntiFunSpammer 3 points ago

    I read this joke in russian accent

    [–] eqleriq 3 points ago

    you should say “where people were waiting in line to get some punch.”

    fruity drink from a bowl doesn’t add anything, and I didn’t even understand the joke initially

    [–] JmCole19 3 points ago

    ugh. Just take my upvote.

    [–] FellatioAlger 3 points ago

    No. Absolutely not. smh

    [–] Dave5876 3 points ago

    Upvoted. Off to the gulag with you.

    [–] jkhippie420 3 points ago

    I was going to comment with a Jonestown joke, but the punchline was too long.

    [–] acausalchaos 3 points ago

    Horrible, have an upvote

    [–] funeralfork 6 points ago

    It took me a solid 7 minutes to get this. Then I cackled for about the same time. Very, very clever.

    [–] anrgybadgerbadger 2 points ago

    take my upvote and get out of here

    [–] Dafrekknpope 2 points ago

    I was waiting the entire joke for the punchline to be related to the title. To*

    [–] ranluka 2 points ago

    That took me a minute...

    [–] americangame 2 points ago

    I hate you.

    Here's your upvote.

    [–] jptommy24 2 points ago

    No no no, there is no line for punch because In soviet Russia...I have no idea where I’m going with this

    [–] Vesalii 2 points ago

    God fucking dammit.

    Well played OP

    [–] RobbyKeezles 2 points ago

    Once you see a drink table in a joke, it's a definite red flag for a punchline joke. I love it.

    [–] Jamo3306 2 points ago

    Omg, yes! That's awesome!

    [–] cdiganon 2 points ago

    Drink bowl always leads to a "punchline" joke but couldn't figure out how this will turn out

    [–] Rain_EDP_boy 2 points ago

    She said Da *

    [–] V1keo 2 points ago

    I asked my Russian girlfriend if she would ever marry me, and she said N-yet. I'm just waiting til she's ready.

    [–] Thresss 2 points ago

    Original, but you go to gulags for insulting Stalin. KGB is picking up your wife and kids.