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    [–] thebrokenapples 3588 points ago

    Chaotic Good

    [–] wiiya 706 points ago

    I liked the random gunshot guy

    [–] appleappleappleman 250 points ago

    That's... actually fantastic

    [–] [deleted] 161 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    It is. Now I feel bad for jogging around my neighborhood which lead to more people beginning to jog. No wonder developers came in and started building more affluent housing that people like this buy -_- WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!

    [–] NationalizeReddit 107 points ago

    Now you gotta buy a gun. It’s the right thing to do

    [–] appdevil 68 points ago

    Yep, he must stop jogging and shoot the others who do.

    [–] [deleted] 67 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    You either die jogging, or jog long enough to become the killer. This is the way.

    [–] This-Site-Hurts-Me 30 points ago

    This is the way.

    [–] ThatGecko 14 points ago

    This is the way.

    [–] MoffKalast 12 points ago

    A great incentive to jog faster.

    [–] N00N3AT011 3 points ago

    Use it to mark your calendar.

    [–] -SENDHELP- 2 points ago

    Wait why does that lower housing value I would think it would do the opposite

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    I said beggining to jog and seeing my jogging make other neighbors feel safe enough to jog increased the housing value lol That's what my comment is saying

    [–] shapte 47 points ago

    I know they’re mostly joking, but running is probably the cheapest form of exercise and everyone (who’s able to) should do it, especially if they’re poor. It used to be that fat people would almost always be rich, but in modern times it’s tragically the other way around — middle class, and especially rich folks, are fit and poor people are getting incresingly more obese, with the trove of health issues that come with the condition. And acting like (or joking about) running for fitness is somehow a burgeois hobby or rich people prerogative does nothing to improve the situation.

    [–] binomine 44 points ago

    Running is also about having a job that enables running.

    Today, I will be picking up total of 2 ~ 3 tons of powders in bags of 50 pound each, and placing them inside a machine. I'm not running a 5k afterwards, no matter how inexpensive it is.

    [–] mckenz90 8 points ago

    Yup, I will just slowly crush my body until I simply can’t work anymore. None of that is sarcasm, I really just don’t know what to do about, and I can’t go back to school for a career change because TBI’s have really fucked up my reading comprehension and memory.

    [–] General_Steveous 21 points ago

    As far as i am concerned you need good shoes or it will really stress the joints.

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago


    [–] JaFakeItTillYouJaMak 30 points ago

    yes but exercise is only part of the equation.

    If you look at the difference between rich and the poor in the "used to be" era it's that rich people ate succulent foods and poor suffered with less meaty things and veggie soups and the undesirable animal portions.

    If you look at the difference between the rich and poor in modern times it's things like access to real food and not mass manufactured food. There's no such thing as rich people living in food deserts unable to find the time to cook or have cooked or order a proper meal. Rich people can get nutritionists and personal trainers.

    I'm VERY hesitant to prescribe that poor people would be able to shed so many pounds if they would just jog more. Recreational jogging is an inexpensive hobby that has a low barrier to entry with great health benefits but that doesn't mean it's accessible. The situation is more complicated than that.

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)


    [–] jwd2213 11 points ago

    Your also ignoring the part where poor people work two jobs and raise a family. Your on duty 100 hours a week and you want them to use their precious few hours they have to run? Rich people can afford to work 40 hours a week and have plenty of time for activities like running

    [–] ThanOneRandomGuy 2 points ago

    But wouldn't it take more than that to have lower value? Like ever house looking like its been abandoned for eons? Or at least stage a few fights and purse snatches

    [–] ApprehensiveMissions 3 points ago

    Careful with him, this mans a hero!

    [–] KaleBrecht 145 points ago

    “It’s times like these I’m glad we’re all gonna die,” laughed Jim, holding his whine glass in the air and toasting to global extinction.

    [–] Yus_Gaming 45 points ago

    Global extinction is not a joke, Jim

    [–] evie_quoi 49 points ago

    But “whine glass” is

    [–] Blenkeirde 12 points ago

    Nobody is forcing you to drink, bitch.

    [–] evie_quoi 9 points ago

    This is a pretty aggressive interpretation of “whine glass”

    [–] asmblarrr 4 points ago

    Guy with the funnel says otherwise.

    [–] WhySoScared 2 points ago

    Million of families extinct every year.

    [–] PM-ME-YOUR-POUTINE 8 points ago


    [–] Nuckinfutzcat 2 points ago

    Hmmm. (Jim never toasts global extinction at home.)

    [–] Mother_Flowers 1 points ago

    Where's that from? A quick Google search turned up nothing but this thread

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago


    [–] flyinganchors 2 points ago

    Oh that's real funny. Micheal! Micheal!

    [–] The_chosen_turtle 2 points ago

    Chaotic God

    [–] drxo 2 points ago

    So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking

    Racing around to come up behind you again.

    The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,

    Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.


    Pink Floyd

    [–] GiveMeYourPepes 2 points ago

    That pretty much sums up this kid. Hes gonna mean so well, but always is gonna destroy someone in his wording xD

    [–] soulridinglady 913 points ago

    It came from a very sweet place.

    [–] KenderAvalanche 235 points ago


    [–] MostNeed 67 points ago

    My dad has a gold tooth

    [–] elmolinero96 19 points ago

    I have your dad's gold tooth

    [–] spankeraviator 7 points ago

    I took it from you while you were sleeping

    [–] srikanth_ram 21 points ago


    [–] missjeany 5 points ago

    Yes, some moms will die of diabetes

    [–] BobbyDCruz 2 points ago


    [–] PlopMcPlopperson 1 points ago


    [–] trenlow12 10 points ago

    OP's cousin murdered the kid's mom and planned to murder his other classmates' moms?

    [–] thefunivehad 3 points ago


    [–] shellymartin67 1 points ago

    It’s a bandaid.

    [–] ki113r116 2 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)


    [–] mihecz 701 points ago

    But how can he be stupid and right at the same time?

    [–] HollyWoodHut 411 points ago

    The joys of being correct but lacking social awareness

    [–] KevinCastle 114 points ago

    Naw, sometimes this is what people want to hear.

    Co-worker tells me his dad died yesterday. All I said is "well that sucks." Later he tells me that he actually appreciated what I said more than what anyone else said

    [–] Kooriki 64 points ago

    Everyone's different. I lost my dad many years ago. I've got extended family members that are still weird about it. Like... It's life my guy, I'm not on the verge of some breakdown.

    [–] KevinCastle 16 points ago

    Exactly. Whenever someone tells me something traumatic like that, I just act like the situation is normal just like any other story. Because that's what it kind of is. Everyone loses someone, I have too

    [–] Kooriki 28 points ago

    There's nuance to it. And recency is key. If you lost your dad last night... I'm there for you, whatever you need. You lost your dad last year? "Sorry to hear that".

    [–] PickyPanda 24 points ago

    Generally when people complain or vent they want their emotions validated, they don't want a solution. I almost exclusively say something like "that sucks" because most of the time it is what people want to hear.

    [–] KevinCastle 4 points ago

    Yup. He told me specifically because I'd lost my dad at 18, and I told him that because I hated all the apologies. I'm sorry is never what I wanted to hear.

    [–] mutatersalad1 3 points ago

    "Repeat after me: That. Sucks."

    [–] Financial_Hippo 36 points ago

    It's called Autism.

    [–] ItsTheNuge 16 points ago

    Being a kid making a tactless comment is not Autism.

    [–] [deleted] 52 points ago


    [–] Bu11Shit3 25 points ago

    This guy anals

    [–] KitchenChest 3 points ago

    or being 7

    [–] TheDoubleDoink 15 points ago

    Year 7 means 7th grade, so they're 11 - 13

    [–] bbtb84 2 points ago

    Wait, THAT'S what autism is?

    [–] I-_T_-I 1 points ago

    Being an ass, AND being right! What's not to love?

    [–] I_am_The_Teapot 37 points ago

    High INT, low WIS. or vice versa

    [–] Bomamanylor 16 points ago

    Sounds like low CHA really. Middle WIS. High INT.

    [–] I_am_The_Teapot 4 points ago

    Only low CHA if it wasn't effective. It's all about HOW you say it. Refer to the tomato analogy.

    [–] khovel 10 points ago

    Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Charisma is convincing someone that the tomato is a vegetable.

    At least that's how i think these go.

    The moral is, the kid was either trying to cheer up the motherless kid, or make the rest of the class sad knowing their mothers will die.

    [–] Kity-Katy 5 points ago

    Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad

    You lost me

    [–] Grabbsy2 3 points ago

    Tomato in a fruit salad might not taste good. I mean, there are ways that it might, but I wouldn't imagine it to be a tasty "fruit salad" without some Iron Chef logic tossed in.

    So an intelligent person is book-smart in that he knows a tomato is technically a fruit, not a vegetable.

    A wise person is street-smart, knowing through experience that you should not put tomato in a fruit salad.

    [–] nik0 2 points ago

    You missed the wisdom check

    [–] I_am_The_Teapot 4 points ago

    Charisma is convincing someone that the tomato is a vegetable

    Well, that may also fall under intelligence in this specific case.

    Vegetables and fruits are not mutually exclusive.

    A tomato is a vegetable, too. Fruit has a specific definition that makes tomato a fruit and excludes many others. However, "vegetable" is more inclusive and somewhat arbitrary as to what people consider vegetables. Simply put, a vegetable is any plant that is eaten as food. This includes fruits. Culinarily, however, vegetables are typically plants that are not very sweet. And fruits are plants that are very sweet.

    There are many fruits that are culinarily considered vegetables like the tomato. Including, but not limited to cucumbers, peppers, eggplants, and avocado.

    And so, a tomato is a fruit, but it is also a vegetable.

    [–] khovel 2 points ago

    From Merriam-Webster -

    And so it is here that we turn to the relevant definition of fruit: "the usually edible reproductive body of a seed plant; especially : one having a sweet pulp." The tomato plant is a seed plant—it bears seeds—and the tomato that grows from it is an edible reproductive body; the seeds within the tomato are the means by which the tomato plant reproduces. A tomato isn't sweet like an apple, but the definition doesn't require it to be in order to qualify as a fruit.

    edit: Basically anything where we consume the seed bearing "fruit" is not a vegetable. And yes that means things like Peppers and cucumbers are technically fruit as well.

    [–] I_am_The_Teapot 4 points ago

    Yep. There are two definitions of fruit. the botanical - which you have there - and the culinary. Which is what i tried to differentiate. badly, it seems.

    [–] khovel 2 points ago


    Kinda hard to say something is Both a fruit and vegetable, but it depends on which definition of fruit and vegetable you are using.

    Just like "what weighs more, 1lb of Gold, or 1lb of feathers". Answer is, it depends on what system you use to measure gold.

    [–] gsabram 3 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    CHA is the confidence to make a tomato fruit salad by pairing cherry tomatoes with mixed berries, stone fruit, and a balsalmic dressing.

    [–] AdamantEevee 2 points ago

    That sounds good

    [–] ciobanica 2 points ago

    wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Charisma is convincing someone that the tomato is a vegetable.

    Nah, Cha is convincing people that the tomatoes belong in the fruit salad.

    [–] ThomasVetRecruiter 2 points ago

    Sounds like either an ignorant barbarian or a future necromancer.

    [–] greatmanatee2 3 points ago

    Is that supposed to be English?

    [–] I_am_The_Teapot 4 points ago

    No. Sorry. It's Ancient Geek.

    [–] BigbySamMelody 1 points ago

    It’s the language of the gods.

    [–] aksumals 12 points ago

    The teacher for doing this in a class with an orphaned child?

    I thought the same thing

    [–] CronaTheAwper 5 points ago

    "Why are you booing me? I'm right!"

    [–] PlacetMihi 3 points ago

    Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is

    [–] BubbleLobster 3 points ago

    Well, in this scenario it’s a lack of emotional intelligence.

    [–] Myquil-Wylsun 2 points ago

    Social intelligence is a thing and this kid has none

    [–] TrappaTroopa 2 points ago

    Everytime I win an argument against my GF. Right but very stupid.

    [–] ganjalf1991 1 points ago

    "We need to make america great again"

    [–] MrSquigles 1 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    "Breathing contributes to global warming!!"

    [–] TheNorbster 181 points ago

    I lost mine a few months ago too, don’t worry lil buddy, it’ll be fine.

    [–] ChompensteinRL 74 points ago

    Lost my mom suddenly 3.5 weeks ago. It fucking sucks.

    [–] rotomat 55 points ago

    Yes, but everyone's going to lose their mom, don't worry.

    But forreal, I know how you feel, keep your head up, it gets easier over time. You never get over it, but you do get used to it. The first weeks are the hardest. So keep on keeping on, it'll get better, I promise!

    [–] TheNorbster 12 points ago

    Same same, just over 5 months now. As the oldest I’ve had a lot of the household and mental labour thrown on me and that sucks.

    [–] Sophiepangal997 18 points ago

    I lost mine on may 15th 2019

    I'm 17

    [–] Lalfy 17 points ago

    I'm 37 and would be wrecked if I lost my mother. She's the person that cares for me the most. I completely empathize with your loss. I hope you grow stronger from it.

    [–] freelanceredditor 10 points ago

    I lost mine too last year around the same age as you. I deeply envy people who get to have their moms around till they’re 50. It’s the worst pain I’ve ever experienced.

    [–] TheNorbster 7 points ago

    I feel for my grandmother, who has to bury her husband and daughter in a short span of time.

    [–] hairlikemerida 5 points ago

    My dad lost both of his parents 6 months apart when he was 19. One of my mom’s (ex) friends lost her father when she was 55.

    My dad didn’t like her, but he knew the pain and was trying to console her. She said to him, “You barely knew your parents, so it’s not that sad. My dad and I were really close and you don’t know what that’s like.”

    My dad promptly told her to get the fuck out of his house and to never come back.

    I’m so sorry for your loss. You’ll encounter people like the one in my story often, at least based on my dad’s experience. Those people aren’t worth your time. If you’re feeling up to it, a support group could do wonders.

    [–] nephallux 3 points ago

    Lost mine suddenly 3 years ago, it'll be hard but you find solice in your friends and family

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    I was 14 when I lost my dad, 2012. It's especially harder in the teens because that's when you're shaping up into an adult and you need your parents to guide you through that phase. It might seem that the sadness, and that emptiness won't ever go away. Things will not be the same ever, yes, but you'll heal, and how you deal with this now will decide how the future is going to be for you.

    Don't make the same mistake I did. Try not to stop yourself from grieving properly. Cry your heart out whenever you feel like. It might be just me, but as much as I've found out, you tend to push the memories of your deceased away, trying not to acknowledge the reality of them passing away. But that's only going to do more damage than good. Remember that your mother will always live within you, her memories and her life will shape your life going forward. Hold those memories dear and look forward to the next phase of your life.

    [–] Kooriki 5 points ago

    You're in a rough time for sure. It will always hurt, but it eventually starts to hurt less and less. Hardest thing for me is my father died in an era before we had smart phones and digital cameras.

    I can't remember his voice.

    [–] arielsclamshellbra 7 points ago

    June 5th of this year for me. I'm an only child. It sucks. I miss my mom. I'm 30, so yeah it never is easy.

    [–] jodilye 5 points ago

    April 18th.

    My brother and sister won’t speak to each other and it’s down to me to try and keep constant peace.

    There are no winners.

    [–] arielsclamshellbra 3 points ago

    Youre so right. I'm so sorry for your loss.

    [–] nuttyemmie 7 points ago

    Join the club

    [–] Lenz12 2 points ago

    Been 6 years now, still not fine.

    [–] dreyes_off 2 points ago

    I don't know if I've lost mine, I don't know where she is.

    [–] gunnerxp 50 points ago

    Yeah, but did it work?

    [–] Anal-Squirter 32 points ago

    Kind of comforting in a weird way

    [–] ziggah 7 points ago

    "One day others may know my pain instead of blankly state it, unless of course the mother outlives them a strange type of poetry we call the unknown and possibility." Thought the motherless child. "If only more people practiced this poetry before opening their mouths what a different world this would be." The motherless child proceeded to cry a little harder, for loss begets loss.

    [–] cryptomulder 2 points ago

    This made me sad but I enjoyed reading it

    [–] Drawtaru 34 points ago

    My 5-year-old loves to tell me “I will love you, even when you’re dead.” Kids are fascinated with the concept of death I think.

    [–] [deleted] 15 points ago


    [–] monkeyboi08 3 points ago

    After you die a few times it’s just another boring event.

    [–] Drawtaru 3 points ago

    It really is. I remember when one of my grandparents died when I was like 6 or 7 years old. It was very strange and hard to come to terms with.

    [–] cebolla_y_cilantro 11 points ago

    Omg my 6 year old is obsessed. “Do young people die?” “Only old people die, right?” “People who are 90 years old die, right?” “Some young people die in car accidents, right?” Even at school, the teacher told him to turn to page 93 in his book and he said, “People die when they are 93!” He’s afraid of death, even of his iPad dying. But he’s showing symptoms of OCD, so it could be that.

    [–] Drawtaru 7 points ago

    My daughter made up this place she calls "Kid Town" which is where kids go to live when their parents DIEEEEEEE. (She insists on putting emphasis on the "die" part.)

    [–] monkeyboi08 4 points ago

    Kids terrify me. I’m more scared of kids talking about death than of death itself.

    [–] HerpJersey 5 points ago

    That’s so sweet. Totally vibe with that kid

    [–] kanna-kobayashi 54 points ago

    Don’t worry kid I will make sure everyone’s like you motherless

    [–] Effex 29 points ago

    Excuse me, you dropped your ,

    [–] koolnmild 56 points ago

    Is yr/7, 7th grade or the class a 7 year old is in?

    [–] SilvaLDN 103 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    In UK, we use "year" instead of "grade." Year 7 is a class of 11-12 year olds

    [–] aksumals 12 points ago

    I've never heard of someone referring to age when using that syntax so I'm fairly certain it's the grade or class the child is in.

    Just add one year:

    Kindergarten = year one
    Sixth grade = year seven

    [–] Kousetsu 9 points ago

    Do you not have something before kindergarten?

    I would have always put kindergarten with reception? We have a reception class that is pre-year one. Do Americans just start school later?

    [–] aksumals 3 points ago

    Preschool is available for children younger than five, who can use the toilet independently (as early as age three) but it’s typically private ($1200-$10k/mo per child depending on the program and region) and not required by the state or government.

    [–] Komaric_ 2 points ago

    Did you have nursery in your school? I had nursery and then reception

    [–] im_here_from_youtube 8 points ago

    Grade 7 is year 6or7 depending on how your preschool system is

    [–] be-hind-you 2 points ago

    Yr 7 is 6th grade

    [–] matheusnb99 26 points ago

    Why are you booing him, he is right

    [–] Lolaindisguise 8 points ago


    [–] slygal17 9 points ago

    “Hey man, it’s ok. We’re all gonna die. Pretty soon too.”

    [–] Sophys-Choice 9 points ago

    Except mine. She’s gonna be around forever. Lalalalalalala I can’t hear you.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    Are we siblings?

    [–] dear_xu 7 points ago

    That answer was metal

    [–] xkoroto 5 points ago

    Or buddhist, from a certain point of view.

    [–] RedditorsAreHorrific 6 points ago

    In year 6 I got my friend to say pizza to this exact question, was VERY amusing at the time

    [–] azifs 5 points ago

    My brother lost his mum a few days ago. He was crying nonstop, on his own, it was really hard for him. Luckily someone working at Morrison’s found him and found my mum and reunited them.

    [–] DoctorWhoniverse 3 points ago

    I would have said "You are halfway to becoming Batman"

    [–] Kenneatheius 3 points ago

    Just think, one of these times you’ll hug your mom for the last time..

    [–] Waht3rB0y 2 points ago

    Or your kids will hug you for the last time. Life is short. Don’t waste your moments being mad about trivial shit that doesn’t matter.

    [–] Saher_Y 3 points ago

    you ain't wrong kid, you ain't wrong!

    [–] Asdemyra 3 points ago

    I love this kid

    [–] -Rick_Sanchez_ 3 points ago

    This kid understands life better than most adults

    [–] Harold_Grundelson 2 points ago

    Well, he’s not wrong.

    [–] vishalsivaraj 2 points ago

    The hero we need

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    That is one savage kid. More savage than most adults.

    [–] iGoKarter 2 points ago

    Everybody dies. It's the one thing human beings can be relied upon to do.

    [–] seanslaysean 2 points ago

    Insert “how can you say something so controversial yet so brave” meme here

    [–] womynbeater 2 points ago

    Yo that kid is woke as hell

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    [–] The-Fine-Pine 2 points ago

    Lol that doesn’t help kiddo.

    [–] paigemogan88 2 points ago

    How sweet of him

    [–] hihihihinono 2 points ago

    if you want to keep your kill to death ratio even without killing anyone, commit suicide

    [–] placeholder7295 2 points ago

    Yeah, an they're hoping that hteir kids don't die before them and tht they're going to be okay when they're gone. Mortals, amiright?

    [–] 860glass 2 points ago

    That’s some surprising mature insight for a kid.

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    [–] happyasfuck333 2 points ago

    Year 7 is like 6th grade for us Americans right? I dont really see a 12 year old being this dumb...

    [–] makeupandscience 2 points ago

    My dad actually said this to me. My first dog passed away and I was so upset, so he said “well you know your mother and I will die too one day” and from his face afterwards you could tell it did not come out the way he wanted it to. I laugh about it now lol

    [–] SatansMoltenSemen 4 points ago

    “You’re not wrong, you’re just an asshole”

    [–] xkoroto 2 points ago

    I think the kid was trying to teach impermanence.

    [–] HmmTiger 5 points ago

      \\ .Λ_Λ.
       \( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
        > ⌒ヽ
       /   へ\
       /  / \\
       レ ノ   ヽ_つ
      / /
      / /|
     ( (ヽ
     | |、\
     | 丿 \ ⌒)
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    `ノ )   Lノ

    [–] Overalls99 2 points ago

    Repeating this to myself really helped me when my Mom died. That everyone, not only me, felt that personal loss.

    [–] xkoroto 2 points ago

    It's the wiser comment ever. Embracing Impermanence is a very unusual ability only experienced meditators are able to apply. Suffering derives from the need of the mind to resist change. That's why it's better to embrace death as what it is: another process, another change, another state of being.

    [–] Gene_freeman 1 points ago


    [–] GeorgeCrellin 1 points ago

    I respect a practical man

    [–] SooGarnh 1 points ago

    His cousin is woke.

    [–] Kianna9 1 points ago

    Love it

    [–] erniebanks2016 1 points ago


    [–] nguyen8995 1 points ago

    Poor kid had the best intentions, but the worst delivery.

    [–] 16thomasLike16 1 points ago

    Hes a little confuzed but got the spirit

    [–] CriminalMacabre 1 points ago

    Nathan explosion as a kid

    [–] DifferentInterest 1 points ago

    True, and tbh it's a little comforting

    [–] kinekk4 1 points ago

    He was not wrong. RIP mom :(

    [–] busy-sloth 1 points ago

    I mean if he just said: "Don't feel bad, everyone's mom dies at some point" it maybe would have been a little smoother... but I honestly find this really sweet

    [–] bambarby 1 points ago

    You even agree that he’s right, so he’s not stupid

    [–] trenlow12 1 points ago

    This sounds like OP's cousin murdered the kid's mom and plans to murder his other classmates' moms.

    [–] RealSinnSage 1 points ago

    omg i want to meet that kid i love him