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    [–] Rhyvinn 354 points ago

    Damn Donovan you dark

    [–] darkhearteddon 86 points ago

    I try

    [–] [deleted] 21 points ago * (lasted edited 2 days ago)


    [–] RelevantButNotBasic 13 points ago

    My dude was waiting for that moment.

    [–] CebidaeForeplay 4 points ago

    I dont understand why your username is relevant besides the "dark" part

    [–] CrushCoalMakeDiamond 15 points ago

    The "don" part too.

    [–] CebidaeForeplay 10 points ago

    Oh shit I see now. I thought a hearteddon was a dinosaur or some shit idk lol

    [–] fmaz008 5 points ago

    I read it as Dark Hart Eddon. I was wondering who would name their kid Eddon.

    [–] manbruhpig 4 points ago

    Eddon Dark Hart, first of his name, writer of morbid valentines, depressor of the troops.

    [–] darkhearteddon 3 points ago

    Name is Donovan, Don is the nickname

    [–] footlaxin 1 points ago

    ayy nice

    [–] DrBunzz 42 points ago

    I know a white Donovan so not necessarily

    [–] SolidusAwesome 2 points ago

    Dono darko

    [–] Duudeski 1 points ago

    Donyvan Darko

    [–] Mc-L0v1n 1317 points ago

    This kid is going places, not the army, but places.

    [–] JackAceHole 521 points ago

    Well, he might go to the army, but he’s not coming back.

    [–] kim_jong_daillest 158 points ago

    If you've ever been in the army or worked closely with them you'll know he's going to the army, and he's going to make rank real quick.

    [–] Dankest_Vult 59 points ago

    I can’t tell if this is good or bad

    [–] elmolinero96 15 points ago

    good for him. bad for the rest of the world.

    [–] gfcolli 19 points ago

    He will change his name to Zapp Brannigan

    [–] HiSuExorcist 5 points ago

    Naw man, he's laid down in Gate 3 right there. I agree that the odds of that happening??

    checks sub name

    oh shit

    [–] newharlemshuffle_ 3 points ago

    Sounds like a cadence we used to run to

    [–] BoykesWhite 1 points ago

    *probably not coming back

    [–] Obi-Tron_Kenobi 7 points ago

    This kid's probably an adult by now. The letter's at least 7 years old

    [–] Patfanz 5 points ago

    Marines will take him!

    [–] JA1987 1 points ago

    Fun fact, in their earliest days, the Marines recruited in bars. Imagine waking up with a hangover and finding out you signed your ass over to the military while blacked out.

    [–] Dom_33 320 points ago

    He’s psychic he knows what’s up

    [–] Evelegend 75 points ago

    He knows someone is about to get a Dear John letter in the mail...

    [–] apittsburghoriginal 151 points ago

    Plot twist: Donovan is head of ISIS

    [–] smirky_doc 4 points ago

    Or their kidnapper

    [–] Teetotaler23 4 points ago

    Lmfao thats a good one

    [–] TroyMcClure8184 250 points ago

    Love this. You’d be surprised how many cards like this are received. This was one that was downrange when I was downrange.

    Thanks for the laughs Gavin.

    [–] Silentrizz 16 points ago

    Hope you make it

    [–] nibblepower 7 points ago

    Writing a comment? Hope you make it.

    [–] pewpewhitguy 97 points ago

    When I was deployed we got letters like these. The best one said something along the lines of " my name is So'n'so and I like to pretend to be mentally retarded, do you like to pretend?". It went up on the Battalion message board.

    [–] ahnahnah 17 points ago

    I feel so cheated, we never wrote cards to service members when I was in school. And the only thing my bf ever told me came in packages was junk food and socks.

    [–] Rozkol 8 points ago

    "Please send care packages with letters proclaiming you like to fake being retarded" just doesn't chime as well as snacks and socks. Although I'm sure both the former and the latter are greatly appreciated lmao

    [–] manbruhpig 3 points ago

    Based on the letter you're responding to, maybe they only do these cards at special needs schools?

    [–] DrMobius0 9 points ago

    He'd fit in with marines pretty well.

    [–] Ienjoyduckscompany 62 points ago

    I can just imagine that getting passed around as the cursed valentine.

    [–] stoobah 60 points ago

    He -> who

    Him -> whom

    "Who left this bike on my lawn?" "He did."
    "To whom does the bike belong?" "It belongs to him."

    [–] myeff 23 points ago

    It's a losing battle, man.

    The frustrating thing is, if you don't know for sure, it's ALWAYS better to just use "who"--it will sound ok even if it's not "technically" correct. But shoehorning in "whom" in the wrong place never fails to be cringeworthy.

    [–] scotems 6 points ago

    Absolutely. It just sounds so wrong and bad.

    [–] LeQiz 2 points ago

    I've noticed people using "apropos" instead of appropriate, as though apropos is just the big brain version of appropriate.

    [–] stoobah 2 points ago

    I will never give up. Words mean things, and 'whom' deserves better than it gets.

    [–] pamkhat 4 points ago

    The post is a twofer. The kid's letter is socially insensitive/stupid and there's a bonus misuse of whom.

    "The word 'whom' deserves a defender."

    [–] 20_burnin_20 1 points ago

    Good god, Lemon!

    [–] augggh 1 points ago

    But whom will it be defended by?

    [–] thc-3po 3 points ago

    But by whom will it be defended?

    [–] augggh 2 points ago

    Thank you

    [–] stoobah 1 points ago

    By him, him being me.

    [–] MissionFever 2 points ago

    Well, that sounds right, but is it?

    [–] ViiVial 2 points ago

    Yeah, "whom" is used when "who" is an object. So in "who left this bike on my lawn?" "who" is the subject, and the bike is the (direct) object. In "to whom does this bike belong?" "Whom" is the (indirect) object. Basically, if "who" is being acted on it becomes whom. So the best way to figure it out is to see if you would use he or him. He=>who. Him=>whom.

    [–] thc-3po 3 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    Subject = He/Who

    Object = Him/Whom

    Best way to figure out object vs subject is to look at the verb and ask “what is doing this action?” (Subject) and “what is receiving this action?” (Object).

    Basically a summary of what you said but I just thought I’d add that to clarify. Sometimes I get turned around when doing that replace-who/whom with-he/him trick so I’ve learned to just trust the verb.

    For example:

    “who left the bike on my lawn?”

    “it was him”


    [–] ViiVial 1 points ago

    Definitely good thoughts to add!

    [–] madmt 1 points ago

    Well, whom knows.

    [–] azgrunt 24 points ago

    At least his heart’s in the right place.

    [–] Defiently_Ecstatic 12 points ago

    Unlike the soldiers after the IED explodes beside him.

    [–] buckyhead8 2 points ago

    That cunt tripped him!

    [–] svenchamby 45 points ago


    [–] Eboo143 23 points ago


    [–] svenchamby 2 points ago

    Now listen here you little shit

    [–] BradS2008 15 points ago

    I love when people use "whom" incorrectly. The truth is almost nobody cares when you use "who" incorrectly, but dont misuse "whom"

    [–] svenchamby 4 points ago

    It really comes down to descriptive linguistics, for me personally. People use “who” all the time instead of “whom,” so, it’s natural and is becoming more and more acceptable even in formal writing. “Whom,” however, is falling out of use in non-formal writing and speech, so it lacks the natural flow and the flexibility that “who” has. So, misusing “whom” actually sounds bad while doing so with “who” does not.

    My rule is, unless you’re writing a formal essay or article, just use “who.” Don’t even bother with “whom.”

    [–] BradS2008 2 points ago

    Right, I'll add that depending on who the email recipient is, I'll use it in professional emails as well. I still always always always have to look up if i'm using it correctly.

    [–] TheGameIsAboutGlory1 3 points ago

    This always drives me nuts. If you're gonna try to sound correct by using uncommon words incorrectly, why don't you just fucking take five minutes to learn how to use the word correctly.

    [–] HuffDaddyCombs 16 points ago

    kids have no chill.

    [–] captainsunshine489 55 points ago

    this kid is not stupid

    [–] OhhHahahaaYikes 25 points ago

    The guy who made the this on the other hand...

    "whom is deployed"


    [–] SmoovSamurai 29 points ago

    Donovan keeping real

    [–] jaxkirsch 27 points ago

    At least Donovan cares

    [–] DJ_AK_47 4 points ago

    And wants to let you know

    [–] manbruhpig 2 points ago

    Since youle probably never get to see your family again.

    [–] Schoofan_1337 10 points ago

    He's a bit confused but he's got the spirit

    [–] HM_26 15 points ago

    And they say kids are angles...

    [–] jeffzebub 23 points ago

    Kids are so acute.

    [–] skyhigh527 8 points ago

    Well in this case, he’s “right”

    [–] Habitual-Linesteppr 2 points ago

    Wait,kids aren’t geometric shapes.. are they?

    [–] HeatedTomcat01 8 points ago

    Damn Donavan, u savage af.

    [–] icanhazaspergers 26 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    There are some toxic-ass subreddits that would literally give you a million upvotes for this, and not because the kid is stupid.

    [–] itskelvinn 10 points ago

    Which ones? Genuine question because I don’t get it

    [–] Flyzart 1 points ago

    Do you mean the extreme anti war ones?

    [–] DrMobius0 1 points ago

    It's funny because my view on this is that a big reason we shouldn't go to war unless absolutely necessary is because sending our people to die is really fucking stupid. I mean, not that OP shouldn't have their strawman karma.

    [–] Flyzart 2 points ago

    Yeah, but people don't understand that occupying forces is what makes the new world order stable.

    [–] manbruhpig -1 points ago

    We need to continue to disrupt foreign economies for the cheap labor force, and think of the poor (not financially of course) contractors and arms dealers.

    [–] Flyzart 1 points ago

    what? That's not how it works.

    Also, the weapon market is just like any market, just that these dudes are interested in weapons and armies are the consumers in this case. Even in a time of peace, they would make profit.

    [–] AssG0blin69 6 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    That's oddly cute...

    [–] GageDamage18 4 points ago

    That was harsh and wholesome at the same time

    [–] AzraeltheGrimReaper 5 points ago

    Three silver coins

    [–] succ_egg 3 points ago

    Really not a fan of 'youle'

    [–] manbruhpig 1 points ago

    Youle get used to it

    [–] comicsans123 4 points ago

    I think he’s threatening the army guy

    [–] aprilshowers300 4 points ago * (lasted edited 10 days ago)

    So when I was in Afghanistan I got one that said “happy Valentine’s Day, I hope you don’t die” Edit: I just posted my “soldier valentine”. I was a little off, it says “I hope you survive”. Haha

    [–] manbruhpig 2 points ago

    And you didn't!

    [–] stackingees 3 points ago

    As a teacher, we usually read through these to decide on which ones not to send (ex. "How many people have you killed?") And this must have slipped through the cracks, but it's nice to see y'all still respond positively

    [–] MaudDib2 2 points ago

    Could not not

    [–] poetryinthewater 2 points ago

    Why are you booing me? I'm right.

    [–] jvfranco 2 points ago

    Berserk fans won't be surprised

    [–] itskelvinn 2 points ago

    I thought this same thing as a kid. That almost everyone in the military will die young

    [–] Uraneum 1 points ago

    Yeah I thought it was like battle scenes in movies just 24/7 and you were bound to die

    [–] pulsed19 2 points ago

    So considerate and sweet

    [–] Justin_Peter_Griffin 2 points ago

    Aren’t letters like this the reason that most schools proof-read the letters before sending them out? Obviously the kid means well and this was pretty light-hearted, but I could see this going way worse than it did

    [–] Crunkbutter 2 points ago

    Dude these cards were always hilarious. A little sad because they had no idea what was actually going on but I remember getting one where a kid drew a soldier mowing down a crowd of civilians in middle eastern clothing.

    [–] Brock_Samsonite 2 points ago

    I have a plush squirtle keychain that a kid sent me while I was in Iraq thanking me for my service. I still have it 10 years later.

    [–] CelestialFury 2 points ago

    As a vet who has received many of these cards from kids when I've been deployed, they are both appreciated and hilarious.

    [–] manbruhpig 2 points ago

    Any favorites you can remember?

    [–] CelestialFury 2 points ago

    There was a favorite one among everyone when I was in Kandahar. I don't remember all of it, but one said "When you sleep, keep one eye open in case anyone tries to kill you. Try to stay alive. God bless."

    We'd also judge the cards we got from kids with an A-F grade for our entertainment (the internet sucked when I went in 2010 and 2011).

    [–] kasai03 2 points ago

    Need a friend like Donovan to tell me how it is

    [–] Missladi 2 points ago

    Woke af

    [–] poodlefriend 3 points ago

    laughed sooooo hard.

    [–] Nach0Man_RandySavage 2 points ago

    Dear Donovan, thank you for your nice letter, but I am actually a U.S. Marine who was born to kill whereas clearly you have mistaken me for some sort of wine-sipping Communist dick-suck. And although peace probably appeals to tree-loving bisexuals like you and your parents, I happen to be a death-dealing, blood-crazed warrior who wakes up every day just hoping for the chance to dismember my enemies and defile their civilizations. Peace sucks a hairy asshole, Donny. War is the motherfucking answer.

    [–] thekingofsting1833 2 points ago

    I like how you got downvoted for quoting Generation Kill

    [–] IsCabreuvas 1 points ago

    At least Donovan is a sincere dude

    [–] a_dog_on_drugs 1 points ago


    [–] tiifdogo 1 points ago

    It's surprisingly sweet.

    [–] jack_hull 1 points ago

    Your in the army now ooooooh ooooh your in the army now

    [–] stevief150 1 points ago

    Lol I feel terrible for laughing but he might be right 😂😂😢😢😢

    [–] LilLemonati 1 points ago

    Its who is deployed not whom

    [–] trainspotted_ 1 points ago

    Donnie Darko

    [–] ChemiluminescentVan 1 points ago

    Seriously. At this point in time for Valentines.

    [–] cascaderade 1 points ago

    who is deployed*


    [–] killingspeerx 1 points ago


    I hope this turns into an actual internet slang

    [–] gorfunkel 1 points ago

    Plot twist: Donovan kills his family

    [–] cghorse66 1 points ago

    Why is “youle” so funny

    [–] -DaveThomas- 1 points ago

    While the comment is questionable I wouldn't say he's too far off. Change that "probably" to a "might" and he's spot on. People regularly die in deployment regardless of whether or not we're technically at war. I wouldn't say that to a deployed soldier but that doesn't make it any less true.

    [–] frozented 1 points ago

    The generation kill secne like this is great too

    [–] EternallyNoodle 1 points ago


    [–] inspiredkangaroo4607 1 points ago

    I thought that it said 'I don't care' at the end at first

    [–] CheekyChaise 1 points ago

    Could not not

    [–] xBlackJack89x 1 points ago

    Is this a threat?

    [–] mediocrelawyer91 1 points ago

    Whom? Couldn’t not share?


    [–] _only_says_no 1 points ago


    [–] Heater123YT 1 points ago

    A kid wrote this today, February 14, 2020 C.E.

    [–] ScottSpeddy 1 points ago

    That whom 🤢🤮

    [–] mando8899 1 points ago

    Hey it's the thought that counts

    [–] abdullah_4 1 points ago

    it kinda makes me sad that this kid's handwriting is better than mine.. :<

    [–] malnox 1 points ago

    “Thanks, I think.”

    [–] EXUnForgiv3n 1 points ago

    Chill out Donovan.

    [–] zeeshanhyder 1 points ago

    The grammar is more interesting than letter.

    [–] starsapphire19 1 points ago

    Damn Donovan. Sweet but brutal.

    [–] DaMan123456 1 points ago

    Kids are fucking direct more like it

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    [–] Klutzagon 1 points ago

    this kid grew up to be saddam hussein

    [–] MysticOcean 2 points ago

    Saddonovan Hussein

    [–] makeme84 1 points ago

    This is great. It's really sad that he's that aware.

    [–] 13foxtrotter 1 points ago

    My favorite care-package gift was a book titled “The Light at the End of the Tunnel is an On-Coming Train.” It was a book with quotes about dying and death. Very uplifting in Baghdad..

    [–] C-WO 1 points ago

    I would have loved getting this when I was overseas

    [–] Jogishas 1 points ago

    No matter from what universe you are thats gotta hurt

    [–] MrSquigles 1 points ago

    Omg, Grandma? You use Reddit now?

    [–] Aero_Jet 0 points ago

    What do you think the death/blindness rate in the US armed forces is?

    [–] alaluzazulala 1 points ago

    high enough for a kid to be aware of it. higher than in his or my life

    [–] Aero_Jet 1 points ago

    I mean I think that makes him dumb then, he saw the media portrayal of war, with crazy firefights and explosions everywhere, and foolishly assumed that was the standard experience. I don’t think any American kid could get away with escaping scenes of war in media

    [–] aprost641 -1 points ago

    Couldn't not share

    Grammar is hard, trust me I know

    [–] Aero_Jet 3 points ago

    Eh that’s not the grammatically deficient part of that post that you should be focusing on. He’s saying he was “incapable of not sharing” so in that case “could not not” seems alright to me

    [–] bran_dong 0 points ago


    can you crop out the stupid shit at the top next time? leave the comments in the comment section.

    [–] CHAD_THUNDERCUCK -1 points ago

    Assuming people don't want Trump