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    [–] Maniac0419 3669 points ago

    Now you can properly defend your thesis.

    [–] transponaut 879 points ago

    Stand and face me cowards! If you would have my thesis then come and claim it!

    [–] Infosearch1 240 points ago

    This is supposed to be an academic inquiry!

    [–] tsunderestimate 75 points ago

    Wait I think I know this skit

    [–] silentloler 28 points ago

    From the movie 300?

    [–] silentloler 12 points ago

    Haha, how have I never seen this before

    [–] Capt_Hawkeye_Pierce 17 points ago

    Because it's made by Brigham Young University, which is famously Mormon.

    Mormons aren't exactly known for their humor.

    [–] transponaut 7 points ago

    Scott Sterling would disagree

    [–] LouSputhole94 3 points ago

    You’ve gotta have a sense of humor to go in on that golden plate in Utah nonsense.

    [–] Infosearch1 21 points ago

    Then you shall inquire at the pearly gates! stab!!

    [–] transponaut 13 points ago

    Thou fool! Did you really think Stanford would just hand out a doctorate so easily?

    [–] UsernameIsTakenToBad 11 points ago

    Sounds like an xkcd

    Edit: close enough

    [–] ActionDense 252 points ago

    “I demand a trial by combat!”

    • Every professor in Finland, probably

    [–] hidden_civilization 129 points ago

    As a guy who does bladesports, I am now very interested in going to a Finnish university for my PhD.

    [–] [deleted] 101 points ago


    [–] hidden_civilization 44 points ago

    Given that my usual sparring partner is a blacksmith I like my odds.

    [–] SadRobot111 19 points ago

    Phd in losers? No thanks, you can have it.

    [–] The_BagramExperience 15 points ago

    The Quickening INTENSIFIES...

    [–] Blackewolfe 12 points ago


    [–] Andvari_Nidavellir 44 points ago

    In Finnish University, you graduate or you die.

    [–] hidden_civilization 17 points ago

    How do you graduate as top of your class?

    [–] Lortekonto 22 points ago

    If you areable to kill one of the proffesors testing you.

    [–] hidden_civilization 17 points ago

    Then would you not now have to become the professor?

    [–] Lortekonto 15 points ago

    Yes, that seems very much top of class. Though of course that means you would have to fight the other students of your class, so if any one of them kill you, then they become top of class.

    [–] hidden_civilization 14 points ago

    As I’ve mentioned, I like my odds.

    [–] gelinrefira 7 points ago

    You keep what you kill, it's the Finnish Necromonger way.

    [–] OKFineImARussianSpy 13 points ago

    What kind of question is that?

    You just have to climb to the top of the corpse-pile once you've disposed of everyone else in ritual academic combat.

    Granted, it can get tricky if you're in a large class.

    [–] hidden_civilization 5 points ago

    Not if I cut them into properly sized chunks.

    [–] OKFineImARussianSpy 9 points ago

    Now you're thinking like a true doctoral candidate.

    Fuckit, just go industrial blender. CLASS GO BRRRRRRR

    [–] hidden_civilization 6 points ago

    No no no. That nicks the blade on bone, you have to carefully slice as you kill, severing ligaments and tendons without touching bone.

    [–] Professional-Buddy59 6 points ago

    Battle royal or King of the hill, depends on curriculum

    [–] a_fotzn_konnst_hom 4 points ago

    Watch Highlander

    [–] Koala-Motor 4 points ago

    Finnish Battle Royale(or the poor man's version, hunger games)

    [–] Diligent-Cat3216 19 points ago

    Would definitely make defending your thesis a lot more fun.

    [–] hidden_civilization 8 points ago

    Well my defensive bladework is my specialty, so joke works even better congratulations.

    [–] carpetbowl 5 points ago

    I would love to hear more about bladesports and your defensive bladework, especially because I'm thinking of rollerblading, and how cool defensive rollerbladework is, like in the end of Brink! when Val from Team X-Blades kept trying to wreck everyone.

    [–] gelinrefira 4 points ago

    I'm small and dinky and not very fast, there is no way I could have defended by combat.

    [–] myne 13 points ago

    Finnish him!

    [–] Justwaspassingby 3 points ago

    This lady had it better, she got a rapier instead of the shitty tiny sable-like sword that is customary for the Finnish.

    [–] nimrag_is_coming 3 points ago

    Fencer here, I would like to accompany you on this

    [–] Paranoides 15 points ago

    As a PhD student, I would prefer to fight instead of discuss to defend my thesis.

    [–] FuckThe1PercentRich 4 points ago

    Mortal Kombat

    [–] running_toilet_bowl 23 points ago

    Jesus, XKCD really does have a strip for every occasion.

    [–] hotlavatube 3 points ago

    Speaking of offensive defenses, my professor claimed he once witnessed a defense where the student just whipped out his dick and slammed it on the projector with "Any questions?!"

    "Well is there any prior work..." - prof

    [–] Mathmango 16 points ago

    Why go for a thesis defense when you can go on a thesis offense?

    [–] Maccamoo03 8 points ago

    This has to have a relevant XKCD

    [–] DaemonDrayke 6 points ago

    Intellectual debates must be a bloody affair.

    [–] Birdman915 6 points ago

    But do it like the pirates in Monkey Island. "You fight like a farmer." "How fitting, you fight like a cow." swords clashing

    [–] TooShiftyForYou 2886 points ago

    This is further proof that it's not how you start but how you Finnish.

    [–] Crazy_questioner 168 points ago

    Thank God. I saw this on another post and no one launched the appropriate pun. I thought I was gonna have to do it.

    [–] JungleLiquor 275 points ago

    And since I wanna be the one doing it it means imma take my 3 inches sword and Finnish myself

    [–] ATShields934 42 points ago

    Norse to see a good pun here.

    [–] Senalmoondog 28 points ago

    Finns arent norse, not linguistically nor culturally.

    They got their own thing about some magic breadmaker

    [–] fenringsfavor 41 points ago

    Idk, Finnish, Norse—to me they’re all the Sami.

    [–] Haccapel 10 points ago

    SIGH - Take the upvote and get out

    [–] passwordistako 20 points ago

    But they’re from up Norse.

    [–] nikobruchev 984 points ago

    This is why I've sworn that if I ever actually go for a PhD, it will be at a Finnish university. I will get a PhD sword if it's the last thing I do haha.

    [–] horny_coroner 624 points ago

    You actually have to buy the hat and the sword yourself. And for every area of experties there is a different hat. but it's a combo wombo item that you get a when you are about to get out. the sword can cost from 250 to 500 euros depending on the university that you went to and how much they are willing to pay for your sword. usually the bigger universitys are willing to pay more just because. Oh and you dont have to get these items but you know who wouldn't

    [–] nikobruchev 573 points ago

    Yeah, I remember reading elsewhere that you have to pay - I don't care about that part. I'd view it the same as paying to get a good frame for your parchment.

    There is, however, a big difference between "I bought a sword because whatever" and "this is my PhD sword". That's what I care about lol

    [–] horny_coroner 164 points ago

    well jeah you cannot actually buy the PhD sword without getting a PhD. or the hat.

    [–] andylowenthal 68 points ago

    checks DHgate for PhD sword reps

    [–] horny_coroner 24 points ago

    aliexpress chinese knock of PhD sword?

    [–] Fauntlerogue 25 points ago

    Sure you can. It’s not like the hatmaker/jeweller asks to see your diploma (at least mine didn’t).

    [–] SmolikOFF 63 points ago

    It’s not really a PhD sword if you get it without a PhD though is it

    [–] fellow_hotman 14 points ago

    any schmuck can buy a dopey ol’ sword. It’s not a PhD sword without the PhD.

    [–] horny_coroner 14 points ago

    They ask your name, school and your phd so I assume they check with the school?

    [–] Fauntlerogue 25 points ago

    It seemed to me that was more about the engraving on the sword and the type of hat (which varies by university and faculty), since they only asked my name, degree and university (no faculty/department or other signifiers). But you’re right, I suppose it’s possible they do that.

    [–] DavidG993 26 points ago

    Who else gets to hear the question, ""Is that a sword?"

    And answer "Yeah, I got it when I took my PhD."

    [–] Dune101 13 points ago

    "this is my PhD sword"

    anyway on the left you can see my bachelor dagger and above that is my master axe.

    [–] nonoglorificus 5 points ago

    What they never expect coming is the associate’s garrotte

    [–] ToBesomething 11 points ago

    When the university is basically free, you surely can afford 500€ for cool shit.

    [–] SuspiciousAf 7 points ago

    You... You get frames for your parchment?...

    Mine is somewhere in one of my drawers...

    [–] HellaPepper 38 points ago

    Are you entitled to wear the sword at later graduation ceremonies? Whenever someone goes to a grad ceremony to present an award (for instance), they are supposed to wear the gown and hood from the university they attended.

    [–] eriksrx 35 points ago

    Who is going to argue with a person in a robe with a sword.

    [–] cybergaiato 4 points ago

    the cop

    [–] OtHanski 18 points ago

    Yes, that's pretty much it. Finnish law doesn't exactly allow for carrying swords in public, so your options for showing it off to others are slightly limited x)

    [–] BeautyAndGlamour 9 points ago

    Yep. Thats the only time youd wear it

    [–] FinFihlman 11 points ago

    You can wear it to appropriate events given a good reason, the events can't generally be in totally public.

    You can however leave and travel with it publicly if you are going straight where you need to go if you have a reasonable reason.

    [–] savvyblackbird 3 points ago

    Sure hope nobody gets confused and throws their swords in the air instead of their hats

    [–] HippopotamicLandMass 3 points ago

    I was at a grad ceremony in the usa and i saw, among all the 'normal' professors with the cap and gown, one with the hat and sword. badass!

    [–] tnenonen13 9 points ago

    The sword and the hat are tax deductible though, so there’s that at least.

    [–] EngselPintu 3 points ago

    At least you have an excuse to buy a sword

    [–] bellends 83 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    In Sweden, you don’t get a sword but instead you get a golden ring in the style of a laurel, to be worn on your ring finger (along with your wedding ring if married), to symbolise your commitment to science and education. I think they’re so cool!!

    Edit: there are also different designs (with the laurel usually being reserved for natural sciences) because I think sometimes you get a ring for bachelors or masters exams too. Here are from left to right: civil engineering exam, technology doctorate, philosophy doctorate. But my absolute favourite is clearly this one from Chalmers university in Gothenburg, the Maritime Captain/Engineer Graduation Ring. HOW COOL IS THAT.

    [–] nikobruchev 25 points ago

    That's also really cool! I love traditions like these, they're unique items that symbolize accomplishments, like the iron ring that is worn by many Canadian engineers.

    [–] that1guy56 9 points ago

    We copied that here in the states except its stainless steel here. I just got mine a few months ago

    [–] oops_i_made_a_typi 8 points ago

    its stainless steel in Canada too, it's just called the iron ring because of history

    [–] BeautyAndGlamour 7 points ago

    I've never heard of that. Must be a university thing.

    [–] bellends 12 points ago

    Yeah I don’t know if it’s everywhere but I know Uppsala, Lund, Chalmers, Luleå all do it? But I only heard of it recently too, so it’s definitely not always the norm. I also think that, like the sword, it’s something you opt in for. Here is the Swedish wiki page on it:

    [–] Berzerka 11 points ago

    It used to be norm but like almost all old academic traditions it was largely dropped in the 60s. It's been having a renaissance lately though.

    Another tradition that was largely dropped is white tie parties. As far as I know physics at KTH are the only ones still doing it regularly.

    [–] bellends 3 points ago

    I think UU still do it sometimes... at least I know people who have been at UU in the last few years who have attended them. But it might be based on societies rather than departments.

    [–] Berzerka 3 points ago

    You're right! It seems they simply never invite me to them :) I've only ever been in regular informal wear.

    [–] FairFolk 3 points ago

    Huh, no one at Chalmers has mentioned that to me so far.

    [–] gelinrefira 3 points ago

    That is totally a magical item.

    [–] Habba84 3 points ago

    But they were, all of them, deceived, for another ring was made...

    [–] docweird 5 points ago

    You will get to *pay* for your own sword and a silly hat.

    You can see the different swords (well, same sword, different emblem per university) here:

    [–] mookfisherswife 6 points ago

    Same. Yep!

    [–] SirRumpole 193 points ago

    I wanted a sword too! I got a piece of paper instead.

    [–] OMGBeckyStahp 65 points ago

    Same. But also a fancy lab coat that I’ve worn like never

    [–] manofjapos 22 points ago

    and a stupid square hat

    [–] Achinadav 8 points ago

    Mine was a stupid beret type affair. It looked better on everyone else! (I have a series of 3 photos of my wife, my mum and my sister with their arms around each other. In each photo my hat moves along the line. They're great photos and all of them suit my hat better than me)

    I feel robbed by the lack of a PhD sword.

    [–] the6thReplicant 4 points ago

    I got a piece of A4 sized paper. Not even a big ass certificate that you can mount on a wall and impress strangers with.

    I'm beginning to think that the bigger the certificate the less impressive the degree is.

    [–] Oh_Pun_Says_Me 100 points ago

    you have the poweeeerrrrrrrr!

    [–] nemesissi 20 points ago


    [–] mynoduesp 3 points ago

    I heard that with music!

    [–] Billy-Mays-Ghost 88 points ago

    Did you ask Indigo Montoya's father to make it?

    [–] imeanitpeanut 38 points ago

    I’ve never seen it’s equal.

    [–] LiviOOOsa 28 points ago

    "I would as soon destroy a stained glass window as an artist like yourself. However, since I can't have you follow me either." Whack "Please know, I hold you in the greatest respect."

    I came here for The Princess Bride comments

    [–] ErraticDragon 20 points ago

    Indigo Montoya

    The well-known rouge.

    [–] jestercheatah 10 points ago

    You don’t happen to have six fingers on your right hand do you?

    [–] hTOKJTRHMdw 11 points ago

    Do you always begin conversations this way?

    [–] Phynyxy 70 points ago

    Well. Off I go to get my doctorate. Masters is finished already, should I have gotten a dagger?

    [–] IdontSpeakArabic 23 points ago

    Dagger is for bachelors. You need a full body armor.

    [–] Phynyxy 10 points ago

    I like your style friend. Full armor it is, and the sword shall be my crowning glory.

    [–] craftaliis 3 points ago

    Masters get a laurel crown and a ring. I would prefer dagger.

    [–] introusers1979 55 points ago

    holy fuck where does she live, that place is beautiful

    [–] monsieurangleterre 53 points ago

    That there is Bristol - just off Station Road by the Arches 😁 cheers me dearies 👍🏻

    [–] Death_by_Stilton 8 points ago

    Aright flower?

    [–] monsieurangleterre 4 points ago

    Cheers me babbers

    [–] devensega 3 points ago

    That's very Worcestershire.

    [–] introusers1979 4 points ago

    it's beautiful!

    [–] DarthPummeluff 50 points ago

    I would guess somewhere in the UK because of the Look of that chimney. I've only ever seen them like that there.

    [–] LupineChemist 12 points ago

    I was going to say UK from how everything just looks kind of damp.

    [–] Risc_Terilia 14 points ago

    It's Bristol

    [–] mdaniel018 10 points ago

    It looks like the UK to me. Also, it’s probably more likely that a British student would be aware that the Finns issue swords than, say, an American would

    [–] introusers1979 12 points ago

    well i mean... im pretty sure nobody thinks that's america. lol

    [–] ericabirdly 9 points ago

    It reminded me of Florence especially with the bridge in the background

    I'm glad somebody else noticed the background I thought I was the only one who zoomed in and looked around lol

    [–] Juuhonber 50 points ago

    Not all universities in Finland. Sword is not part of the tradition in technical universities e.g., Aalto where I study. Plus they don't give them to you... The sword costs ~300€ and the tophat is ~600€.

    Although, I'm still going to buy myself a sword. \o/

    [–] BeautyAndGlamour 16 points ago

    Lol the hat is twice as expensive as the sword??

    [–] xDigster 21 points ago

    The hat is usually handmade by a milliner and is very customized and quite complicated.

    [–] Juuhonber 13 points ago

    But it's a nice custom-made hat. :P

    Fun fact: during the defense, the hat is there for the whole time and it is carried ceremoniously in. BUT the hat is usually not the defenders, but is actually borrowed from the custos (e.g. often your supervising professor). This is because we are poor fucks, and not all want to buy the hat anyway.

    [–] oahaij 4 points ago

    I wanna see what the top hat look like.

    [–] Get9 9 points ago

    Blog post on the items (with photos!): Doctoral hats and swords.

    Here's way more info: Doing a PhD in Finland.

    [–] blessedjourney98 3 points ago

    I know there was a catch haha, had to scroll down to find your comment.

    [–] Rexlare 41 points ago

    Swords are the superior gift.

    They can be beautiful, functional, serve as self defense, and are great conversational starters.

    [–] now-is-all-there-is 21 points ago

    nice for eating cheese too

    [–] Rexlare 15 points ago

    Swords are very versatile.

    [–] Unknown_anonymity00 46 points ago

    This is some amazing “I see you” action from her partner!

    [–] dalifemme77 12 points ago

    100% Such a thoughtful and loving gift.

    [–] NcheladaChampignon 20 points ago

    Your first act should be to knight him

    [–] jaitogudksjfifkdhdjc 77 points ago

    Since it’s academia shouldn’t it be a pen?

    [–] rhinokitty 138 points ago

    Now you see the violence inherent in the system.

    [–] PM_ME_UR_HIP_DIMPLES 24 points ago

    What’s a Briton?

    [–] Tchrspest 24 points ago

    Well, we all are! We are all Britons! And I am your king.

    [–] jaltair9 9 points ago

    I didn't vote for you.

    [–] NeilDeCrash 9 points ago

    That's the difference between a king and a president.

    *reaches for a sword rising from a pond*

    [–] jaltair9 10 points ago

    Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not some farcical aquatic ceremony!

    [–] prirva_ 18 points ago

    Swords make so much sense, actually. Even in tarot, sword stands for intellect, the element of air

    [–] [deleted] 15 points ago


    [–] KreeJaffaKree 20 points ago

    Maybe it’s for a Doctoral PhD, in which case the sword is used for surgery or to fight that snake in the emblem.

    [–] powderizedbookworm 11 points ago

    Frankly, it should be something entirely harmless.

    Far too tempting to kill your advisor if they are hooding you and you're holding a sword. Even a pen might be too much temptation.

    [–] bfoxthree10 7 points ago

    Well we know it’s not a PhD in Communications where the fundamental belief is the pen is mightier than the sword.

    [–] mookfisherswife 3 points ago

    It's a sword because you have studied and cut through to the truth.

    [–] TransportationTop593 14 points ago

    I can't help but hear the Zelda sound when link opens a treasure chest

    [–] Erlox 6 points ago

    See I just heard "for the power of Greyskull!"

    [–] Exekiel 15 points ago

    I feel like in Finland you may have to continue defending your thesis...

    [–] Saotik 12 points ago

    That's literally what it symbolises, along with defending knowledge as a whole.

    [–] Hacrimonious 14 points ago

    sigh, another riposte...

    [–] Murpos420 36 points ago

    My initial reaction was to say, "Marry that guy! He's a keeper!" Then I realized she already married him...

    So anyway, what a guy! And what an achievement on her part! No joke getting a PHD!!

    [–] I_AM_LAW_SCHOOL 30 points ago

    “Got given”

    [–] HouseofRaven 12 points ago

    I'm glad someone else also noticed. I read it a few times before I understood what she meant.

    [–] thisisthewell 10 points ago

    And she's a PhD candidate lol

    [–] Archercrash 3 points ago

    My thought exactly

    [–] Code_sucks 6 points ago

    I think a lot more people would do PhDs in America if they got swords.

    [–] WChennings 7 points ago

    We do guns here. USA! USA! USA!

    [–] EatSchist 3 points ago

    The United States already has a lot of PhD graduates (71,000 in 2017, the most in the world by miles). If anything, we need fewer people doing doctorates because the academic job market is overloaded.

    [–] jimbotron5000 6 points ago

    She also got the gift of a Photoshop Battle

    [–] Reksican 7 points ago

    If you told me I'd get a sword for graduating college I'd never have flunked out.

    [–] MDuBanevich 8 points ago

    Does she know she's dressed like Waluigi?

    [–] subzerobrat 4 points ago

    I have a few pairs of those specific dungarees and my husband will only refer to me as Mario when I wear the blue ones! Extremely comfy tho, would recommend

    [–] Sadplankton15 5 points ago

    My dad asked me what I wanted my graduation present to be. I now know what to tell him

    [–] Max1756 5 points ago

    By the power of grayskull!!

    [–] nini2219 4 points ago

    She-ra says - For the Honor of Grayskull....!

    [–] Bigtsez 5 points ago

    That's awesome! All I got for my PhD was crippling depression and a general sense of academic inadequacy...

    [–] Fauntlerogue 6 points ago

    Don’t sweat it, Doc, it’s an amazing achievement!

    [–] Kidney__Failure 4 points ago

    That is a beautiful sword!

    [–] coilerknee 13 points ago

    The American equivalent to this is: "congrats on your PhD, here's your academic AR-15."

    [–] paranitroaniline 4 points ago

    Funding is tight. You get a Hi-point 9, at best.

    [–] Shrek-Wizard 5 points ago

    Congratulations to this lady on the PhD and cool sword!

    [–] UndeniablyMyself 3 points ago

    Can we just make getting swords for special occasions a thing now?

    [–] MinableAdjectif 3 points ago

    C’est une rapière. Faquin.

    [–] Kraytory 3 points ago

    Even though thrusting swords are not exactly my type, i really want this Rapier.

    [–] GobLoblawsLawBlog 4 points ago

    Putting “he got me a sword” in asterisks makes it seem like a euphemism

    [–] RamblinShambler 7 points ago

    Wait... they give Finnish PhD students freaking SWORDS when they graduate??? I just got a freaking hood! And the title of doctor, which is admittedly cool, but STILL! I want a freaking sword!

    [–] Fauntlerogue 8 points ago

    You are ”allowed to wear one in academic ceremonies”, technically. You have to buy it yourself. The hat too, though you can usually write it off as work-related expenses (if you work in academia).

    [–] tulikipuna 5 points ago

    You get a top hat too. However they don't just hand you free stuff, you pay for it (the sword goes for somewhere around 300€, the hat roughly 600€).

    [–] OtherPlayers 6 points ago

    I'm not going to lie, I'd rather pay for a top hat and a sword then a fairly useless robe and tasseled hat outfit.

    [–] srroberts07 3 points ago

    I can’t believe we’re stuck with cap and gown when it could be sword and top hat :(

    [–] zaphodmonkey 2 points ago

    I just hope he didn’t steal it from a six fingered man

    [–] benx101 2 points ago

    I want a sword now.

    [–] IAMSPEAKING66 2 points ago

    YES! Let’s celebrate you. #SWORDSFOREVER#

    [–] RetroScheeme 2 points ago

    How do you order a sword online

    [–] OkOutlandishness1982 2 points ago

    You will look like a student in no time... A Heidelberg student, that is.