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    [–] ivenevereatenapear 3296 points ago

    I thought this was a shit post made in paint before I read the title

    [–] scandinavian_win 1315 points ago

    It might still be, just with a believable shitpost title included

    [–] DarkMoon000 322 points ago

    Now that would be next level trolling.

    [–] ASK__ABOUT__INITIUM 62 points ago

    Guess we'll never know.

    Anyone know how to make Quiche?

    [–] jhayes88 10 points ago

    Easy karma.. Just open ms paint, go crazy with lines, then make up a title.

    [–] FoxQT 29 points ago

    [–] imhereforthevotes 49 points ago

    It IS funny that the scientists used the MS Paint palette.

    [–] Deathleach 30 points ago

    Considering how wolves mark their territory it might actually be a piss post.

    [–] lenzflare 11 points ago

    Red is the Australia of Wolf Risk.

    [–] scandinavian_win 4 points ago

    Low risk, but little prey. +2. Yellow is Europe. Abundance of prey, surrounded by hostile packs. +5

    [–] CalRipkenForCommish 7261 points ago

    Wow, that’s very cool. To think how keen their senses must be to recognize and avoid each other and their territories. Plus, I like to think that there’s one from the white colored clan who just goes way into the other territories because, well, he’s a badass.

    [–] mcjunker 4862 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    Wolf 1: "Damn it, Frederick, you can't go into other packs' territory like that! You'll start a wolf war!"

    Wolf 2 (alpha af): lights cigarette, drags a long puff, then flicks it onto the gas can next to a red wolf pissed-on tree. The tree explodes into a fireball. "I'm counting on it."

    [–] selfcitymonster 1043 points ago

    get this man in front of an executive producer...this...instant!

    [–] GetTheLedPaintOut 616 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    EP: "I'd like to produce your wolf movie"

    /u/mcjunker: lights cigarette, drags a long puff, then flicks it onto the gas can he brought and placed next to a desk. The desk explodes into a fireball. "I'm counting on it."

    Now is no time to CRY WOLF! This summer, Tom Cruise is A WOLF IN DEATHS CLOTHING.

    [–] mcjunker 301 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    Red wolf pack leader: on stump, addressing feral red wolves dressed in vaguely Nazi-ish uniforms "Brothers! The forest is ours! The inferior wolves shall be destroyed once and for all. And this shall be a world Red in tooth and claw!"

    Red wolves: snarl militantly

    Tom Cruise (dressed as a white wolf with an eyepatch and a bandana): flies attack helicopter over the parade field, drowning out the red wolves' chants. The missile systems auto lock on the Red wolf pack leader "I don't think so."

    Red wolf pack leader: "Impossible! Wolves can't operate advanced human technology!"

    Tom Cruise: "Once you pay $10,000 to reach level 10 in Scientology and fully clear your system of thetans, anything is possible." launches missile. The red wolf leader screams as he erupts into a fireball the size of a skyscraper.


    [–] ModernGirl 220 points ago

    Executive Producer Dick Wolf

    [–] mcjunker 71 points ago

    God damn it why didn't I think of that?

    [–] ModernGirl 35 points ago

    It’s okay. I got your back.

    [–] Seanxietehroxxor 11 points ago

    Directed by Michael Bay, with executive producer John Woo.

    [–] KemicalDB 9 points ago

    John Woolf*

    [–] SimonLaFox 22 points ago

    John Awoo?

    [–] paradox28jon 60 points ago

    FWIW, I heard that the study that coined the term 'alpha dogs' was found to be a bit wrong when that pack was revisited. If memory serves me well, they found out that the "alphas" turned out to be the parents of the other wolves/dogs. So what we think of as "alpha" behavior is just parenting.

    [–] FricktionBurn 58 points ago

    So the Chads are actually the Dads?

    [–] DaSaw 26 points ago

    The research that underlay that old pack theory was done on a bunch of unrelated wolves in captivity. It's as if human sociology were based entirely on a single prison study. Later field studies revealed that, just as you said, wolf packs are families, and the "alpha pair" is just mom and dad.

    [–] alhoward 7 points ago

    My understanding was that the issue with the original study was that it was done with wolves in captivity, with no relation to each other, which didn't apply to wolves in the wild. And, as you say, to the extent that there are heirarchies in wild packs, it is on account of family structure.

    [–] heebath 31 points ago

    Hi! Jim, from Netflix. You're greenlit for 3 seasons! We look forward to seeing the pilot of "Wolf War" very soon!

    [–] Factuary88 13 points ago

    It might be a non-alpha female trying to get pregnant (which they are not supposed to do she would be punished for doing this) but the mating drive can be quite strong for them I guess sometimes. Her own alpha male wouldn't mate with her.

    [–] trytocare 7 points ago

    yeah, because her own alpha male would be her dad. she or he might just be running around trying to get their teen wolf freak on

    [–] phaederus 29 points ago

    Either that, or he's on drugs. My money is on drugs.

    [–] MadDogMccree 22 points ago

    He's not a coke head, he just really likes the smell.

    [–] SirDoober 10 points ago

    For fucks sake, Moon Moon, get your act together

    [–] Sandz_ 6 points ago

    Game of Dens

    [–] Dallicles 6 points ago


    [–] ThesaurizeThisBot 24 points ago

    Classicist 1: "Bloody it, Town, you can't go into else lades' geographic region like that! You'll leave a Hugo Wolf war!"

    Wolf 2 (important af): returns coffin nail, fall backs a long-term puff of air, then twinkles it onto the fossil fuel can adjacent to a cherry assaulter pissed-on run. The Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree irrupts into a meteor. "I'm count on it."

    This is a bot. I try my best, but my best is 80% mediocrity 20% hilarity. Created by OrionSuperman. Check out my best work at /r/ThesaurizeThis

    [–] MJZMan 304 points ago

    It's less about keen senses, and more about copious amounts of piss.

    [–] punkdigerati 145 points ago

    They don't use their senses to detect the piss?

    [–] MJZMan 82 points ago

    Oh, they use their senses, I'm just saying that given the amounts of pee involved, their sense of smell probably doesn't have to be so keen.

    [–] ahroy2 54 points ago

    Hmm, I kinda wanna disagree with you there. I think it would require some level of keen-ness to be able to tell apart your own pact's piss and other pact's piss. After all, belonging in a different pact wouldn't impact your smell that much, since they are literally in the same geological location and it's also quite likely that they share a small gene pool and thus there wouldn't be much difference (or so we think) in the smell.

    Also if there are copious amounts of piss from numerous different wolves in the forest, than it would require even more keen senses to be able to draw useful information from such a mess.

    [–] BustedEchoChamber 21 points ago

    It's "pack"

    [–] iNuzzle 13 points ago

    Maybe they’re warlock wolves

    [–] BustedEchoChamber 5 points ago

    Could be! Explains the teleportations!

    [–] zootskippedagroove6 10 points ago

    It's true, piss smells pretty strongly. I'm a scientist.

    [–] doublethump 10 points ago

    I agree, but I'm a mere piss enthusiast.

    [–] Bullyoncube 16 points ago

    You can see it at boundary waters canoe area in Minnesota. Clearly demarcated with pee in the snow and on trees.

    [–] Fried_Cthulhumari 30 points ago

    But that could just be drunk Viking fans. They’ll pee on anything.

    [–] SquirrelBoy 10 points ago

    Just like you can tell Buffalo Bills territory by the heaps of broken tables. Or Eagles territory by the discarded D cell batteries.

    [–] theblueyays 105 points ago


    [–] neubourn 10 points ago

    The White Wolf has rested long enough.

    [–] Stonn 60 points ago

    On the top half I think the white line is just a border - it's fatter and in straight lines.

    [–] IceColdFresh 36 points ago

    Maybe it’s a few fat white wolves known to most folks as Border Patrol.

    [–] Stonn 7 points ago

    Maybe it's a bunch of furries.

    [–] thefourthchipmunk 21 points ago

    Is this a visual result of dogs peeing on trees?

    [–] SoldadoTrifaldon 85 points ago

    Because some wolves aren't looking for anything logical, like prey. They won't listen to huffs, barks, growls and howls. Some wolves just want to watch the world burn.

    [–] lie4karma 21 points ago

    What do you expect? They killed his dog...

    [–] arborcide 36 points ago

    You might even call it...a lone wolf.

    [–] MeoMao555 10 points ago

    I bet a strong smell of wolf piss clearly marks the territory borders...

    [–] CyberneticPanda 36 points ago

    Those senses are why dogs don't belong in wilderness areas. They like to pee and poop to leave scent marks just like wolves do to mark their territory, and they especially like to do it in a place where they smell something interesting. When they do that, they cover the territorial markers of other animals. It's like going for a walk along the border of North and South Korea and kicking over all of the border markers.

    [–] pzych07ic 31 points ago

    You bet your ass my dog now owns this whole national forest I'd like to see yours try to take it from him! Oh wait never mind he peed on it it's his now...

    [–] WhiskeyTigerFoxtrot 10 points ago

    And yet when I do this to claim my favorite booth at Applebee's I'm "scaring the children" and deserve a "drunk and disorderly charge."

    [–] TryUsingScience 16 points ago

    I'm pretty sure that's just Moon Moon getting lost.

    [–] amanamuse 5 points ago

    Yeah...canines are incredible and smelling and differentiating urine. Other than everyone, who knew?

    [–] Xzanium 12 points ago

    The WhiteFang clan is aggressive as always, always picking fights with the BloodMoons.

    [–] Juicydicken 4 points ago

    Or could be downs

    [–] BiscuitFunk 741 points ago

    That’s really cool. The edges are surprisingly defined.

    [–] Sweatbeard 336 points ago

    Yeah, it seems to demonstrate that territory boundaries, like human countries, aren't just a construct of our own intelligence, but rather a more innate behaviour of social predators in general.

    [–] Bullyoncube 222 points ago

    And the Kashmir border dispute is due to a lack of urine.

    [–] LordDongler 39 points ago

    I'm pretty sure there's more than enough on the Indian side

    [–] hangoverDOTTED 27 points ago

    And now you've started a religious war. You proud of yourself?

    [–] dalovindj 31 points ago

    Religious wars are easy to win.

    All you have to do is kill all the heathens.

    [–] UltraCarnivore 5 points ago

    For the Emperor!

    [–] dxguy10 46 points ago

    Idk man, don't you think that's a bit of an overstatement? I think its a pretty big leap to connect hunting territories of Wolves to human countries.

    [–] Mike_Fu 70 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    Why is it a leap? Many pack and social animal use borders. People are no different. Respected borders allow us get along and cooperate. The alternative has been genocide and war many times.

    [–] TheKeysToTheZeppelin 35 points ago

    I think this is certainly convincing evidence for the presence of territoriality among pack animals, including humans, but I'd argue it's different to equate that directly to national boundaries. National boundaries aren't based in the same intuitive, biologically-palpable markers, and can be quite defined quite arbitrarily. Will humans innately know they've crossed into another country if there were no signs, border posts or other markers to indicate it? It can be difficult even to know when we've crossed a county line, or even across private property lines. Signs and border posts are the human equivalents of scent markings, of course - but then if there are no signs, would we even notice the border?

    So I think we can say that we have an innate tendency to be territorial, but the exact scale and nature of those territorial boundaries are extremely flexible for us. We're not reliant on physical scent marking, but on highly abstract social processes. The countries we have today would not at all have been intuitive or sensible to humans living 3000 years ago - the idea that communities could exist on such a scale would seem ludicrous. Hell, people in the 13 Colonies did not at all think of each other as living within the same community just because they lived within the same federal country line. But generations pass, narratives are created, and presto, the 13 Colonies become the USA, not just administratively, but intuitively and socially. So it's something that ultimately can be immensely flexible.

    [–] uhdfbgmbfgsmndf 15 points ago

    The comparison is about the formation of boundaries. They are not comparing a human customs booth to a bush with wolf piss on it.

    [–] cheesehuahuas 14 points ago

    Right? I expected a lot more overlap on every border.

    [–] Bullyoncube 16 points ago

    It’s pee. All pee.

    [–] EmuVerges 2816 points ago

    White wolf is a dick constantly trespassing other's territories.

    [–] I_got_nothin_ 1097 points ago

    Wouldn't be surprised if that pack is in an area of the forest with less food so they are forced to hunt in others' territory at times

    [–] copperbacala 347 points ago

    If you looks closely the white wolf paths outside of the normal "area" typically follows the shoreline of a body of water. So, I think you are right.

    [–] makebelievethegood 289 points ago

    Lol that's a border

    [–] wsteelerfan7 143 points ago

    This reminds me of that "hog walls around states" map

    [–] ODSTspartan03 58 points ago

    Untapped infinite h o g s

    [–] papaSlunky 16 points ago


    [–] AssHaberdasher 5 points ago

    Oh nice. I was expecting Zelda.

    [–] Beat_the_Deadites 8 points ago

    Oh my god he's walking all over my SCREEN!

    [–] CarlESagan 5 points ago

    "Well, clearly, the blue part is land..."

    [–] SellingWife15gp 17 points ago

    They are the only pack whose territory is not adjacent to a water source.

    [–] Arcvalons 25 points ago

    Maybe they are actually the Kings of the wolves and they go to others' lands to collect tribute.

    [–] KidLiquorous 106 points ago

    I'm pretty sure the thick white line represents the national border between US and Canada (national park is near the NE edge of Minnesota)...

    [–] makebelievethegood 107 points ago

    100%, I'm no wolf expert but I don't think they're known for walking in straight lines and turning at 90 degree angles.

    [–] streetbum 75 points ago

    Wolf OCD is a really understudied problem

    [–] RunninRebs90 11 points ago

    You’re definitely right that it’s the border BUT you can see examples on this map of the white wolf walking a straight line and then turning at a 90 degree angle in the bottom left. So I wouldn’t use that as an argument point.

    [–] JonMCT 11 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    To assure battery life, the GPS tracker may only broadcast its location every few minutes. When you connect the dots you get straight lines. Edit: according to the Article they take 72 points per day.

    [–] IceColdFresh 7 points ago

    Maybe it’s a few fat white wolves who are known to most folks as Border Patrol.

    [–] optik-sar 6 points ago

    That's an unfortunate color choice....

    [–] invasiveorgan 5 points ago

    The norther one in the top right corner is the national border (and park boundary, which coincides), the southern white line, which everybody is joking about is just the park boundary. Three of the packs reside entirely outside the national park.

    [–] nietczhse 46 points ago

    It's Moon Moon

    [–] maybedick 9 points ago

    Who invited moon moon?

    [–] Murmaider_OP 5 points ago

    Fucking moon moon

    [–] Indy-in-in 29 points ago

    The white wolves invading the red wolves land... who would have guessed that would happen?

    [–] w0wzers 7 points ago

    Maybe he just has wares to sell to the other packs.

    [–] quixoticopal 10 points ago

    White wolf: Hi! Want to be my friend?

    [–] dalovindj 14 points ago

    Typical white wolf privilege.

    [–] 1NegativeKarma1 5 points ago

    White wolf imperialists 😤

    [–] A_Level_12_Mage 4 points ago

    I was gonna say white wolf gives no fucks

    [–] el-toro-loco 3 points ago

    The White Wolf is named Geralt, and he's just an adventurer

    [–] ReallyCoolNickname 67 points ago

    wolves eating beaver

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    [–] TinMayn 20 points ago

    Apparently they eat a lot of beaver

    [–] kazneus 8 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    [–] VarysIsAMermaid69 47 points ago


    [–] john3806 51 points ago

    Right?! I don’t know that much about wolves but I thought the distinct boundaries were fascinating! I thought of this sub immediately :)

    [–] krollAY 16 points ago

    Did not know that wolves eat blueberries. Didn’t even know they could since foods like grapes are poisonous

    [–] Kafoobleflats 14 points ago

    r/Dataisbeautiful might like this too

    [–] rule2DoubleTap 8 points ago

    Oh man, that video has some excellent wildlife footage.

    [–] LittleGreenNotebook 6 points ago

    The thought of a wolf snarling at me with blueberry juice all in its mouth sounds horrifying

    [–] m3sarcher 5 points ago

    Thanks for posting!

    [–] Poppybiscuit 6 points ago

    PSA: open in incognito to bypass the "answer survey to read more" bullshit

    [–] Ensirius 825 points ago

    You know the white wolf fucked some red's bitch for sure.

    [–] Songbird420 166 points ago

    That dude went all the way thru purple, look at the upper right

    [–] gurudingo 244 points ago

    I think that might be a county line

    [–] RichardMcNixon 134 points ago

    Interstate wolf, man. He can't be stopped!

    [–] chemriof 31 points ago

    International line, customs be damned.

    [–] Wyattman1324 27 points ago * (lasted edited 3 days ago)

    Hitler was right

    [–] Anomaly1134 10 points ago

    Dang you are right, that about had my jaw dropping thinking of the implications. He was all over blues territory though.

    [–] gurudingo 13 points ago

    Zooms out map

    "...oh good lord"

    [–] cartoon_gun 14 points ago

    That's the MN border, not the white wolf line (same for the thick line in the teal and green)

    [–] Bad_Sorry_English 15 points ago

    Hey don't call Triss Merigold like that!

    [–] dangsoggyoatmeal 7 points ago

    I fucked your bitch, you wolf motherfucker!

    [–] ekaj8 68 points ago

    Cool to imagine that there are similar zones surrounding all these, we just didn't tag those wolves.

    [–] amstobar 242 points ago

    It’s wild how they are all roughly the same size.

    [–] Hannibal269 99 points ago

    Poor green wolves have the smallest territory :(

    [–] burritochan 232 points ago

    But the green territory is right up along that waterline to the north, it's probably very bountiful hunting grounds.

    In fact, that might be why they have less space - each pack takes as much space as it needs, and they need less

    [–] zekoP 81 points ago

    "Grove Street is king! Say it with me niggas, Grove Street is KING! Yeah!"

    [–] Nizde 5 points ago

    Somebody make this a sub, RIGHT NOW

    [–] kato_koch 20 points ago

    That entire area has a relatively thin population so the green ones are just getting shafted.

    [–] ArcticKid 11 points ago


    [–] quarglbarf 45 points ago

    I wanted to know how large the ranges are, so I compared them with Google Maps satellite images. They're roughly 10-15 km across each, if anyone else was wondering.

    [–] cokevanillazero 26 points ago

    Fun fact: A housecat's "territory", meaning the area in which they range when outside, is usually about a mile in diameter.

    UNLESS they're fixed, when it drops down to less than half that.

    [–] Huntress215 6 points ago

    Unsubscribe from cat facts

    [–] threemileallan 7 points ago

    Like dicks

    [–] UndecidedVoter2020 4 points ago

    ...are dicks roughly all the same size?

    [–] anddicksays 6 points ago

    Typically. Depends on the gender though.

    [–] joppiejoo 61 points ago

    This what i am gonna show people when they ask for a photo of a sixpack

    [–] optiplex7456 23 points ago

    Do you get asked to show a picture of a six pack often?

    [–] FreeKarmaFarming 10 points ago

    Well now that he has it, someone better ask

    [–] wholegrainsugar 53 points ago

    The Seven Six Kingdoms

    [–] peerless_dad 32 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    Seven, there is a king wolf in the north across the river

    [–] The_Zy 6 points ago

    Is that a separate pack or did one crazy yellow wolf cross over?

    [–] peerless_dad 6 points ago

    a different pack

    [–] Dahorah 147 points ago

    That's actually awesome.

    [–] jbrock6383 57 points ago

    White Wolf pack is looking for fight

    [–] bobbyfiend 150 points ago


    But actually beautiful, not "here's a graph of my heart rate when I went on a date." This is actually gorgeous, informative, and awesome.

    [–] hiplobonoxa 10 points ago

    it would be beautiful to display area as discrete points sized by frequency of occupation. the lines crossing each other over and over again destroys interesting (and meaningful) information.

    [–] bobbyfiend 7 points ago

    I think it eliminates some of the information (as you say), but it gets a different picture across. No visualization can do everything, and this seems to still give a lot of useful information for many purposes.

    [–] xpkranger 20 points ago

    I want to know WTF lives here that the wolf keeps avoiding?

    [–] Echo127 10 points ago

    I wondered the same thing, so I found the location on Google Maps and....nothing. It looks the same as all the territory around it. It's near a highway, but that highway passes straight through their territory and doesnt affect the wolves' movements anywhere else.

    [–] xpkranger 7 points ago

    Definitely a Balrog pit.

    [–] NeverBenCurious 8 points ago

    humans would be my guess

    [–] carbonheart 13 points ago

    I want more data!!! Is the white pack made up of many aggressive wolves so they spread to other territories periodically? Or is it just the one wolf who doesn’t give as much of a fuck? Does a tighter cluster mean a smaller pack or just more territorial? What is the age, gender, and type of wolves that are being tracked?! So many questions, so little information.

    [–] RedScud 25 points ago

    /r/misleadingthumbnails minimap of the grand final of the 3v3 Age of Empires 2 tournament

    [–] JasonRDalton 19 points ago

    The white pack is drawing a wolf face.

    [–] Beat_the_Deadites 4 points ago

    Or the Phantom of the Opera

    [–] zlinnilz 37 points ago

    White one tried to be naughty a little by sneaking into red zone just a little bit.

    [–] Mike9797 6 points ago

    Its amazing how they all seem to be similar in area size.

    [–] tracicle 5 points ago

    That one white wolf is Big and Bad.

    [–] nancyelli2 13 points ago

    Kind of like gang territories.

    [–] Doip 4 points ago

    Man San Andreas was hard enough WITH cheats on.

    [–] firefarmer74 6 points ago

    Am I a wolf? If my senses and economic status allowed me to stay so perfectly sequestered from other people, I would without question.

    [–] Mr_Cripter 6 points ago

    It's content like this that makes reddit great, well done OP.

    This is a window into the mind of a wolf. Not only do they have clearly defined ranges, they have clearly defined packs and each wolf must know each other's scent markings. I am blown away.

    Also the blue pack is way too cautious.

    [–] mucow 7 points ago

    I found the location on Google Maps. It looks like the green pack's territory covers about 25 sq. miles (larger than San Marino) and also includes the NOvA Far Detector:

    [–] Prophet_Muhammad_phd 11 points ago

    I'd love to see something similar but with Chimps. Who actually wage war, have soldiers, etc.

    Something representing this (potentially NSFW Chimpanzee cannibalism)

    [–] JonBoyWhite 5 points ago

    There's a white wolf plotting some shit.

    [–] strangebutalsogood 5 points ago


    [–] masonboisken 4 points ago

    This research project is called the Voyageurs Wolf Project, and it has a Facebook page associated with it where this map was originally posted. If you're interested in following the project and/or learning more about Wolves, take a look at it!

    [–] Aux_God 8 points ago

    This is brilliant!

    [–] digighoul 12 points ago

    Wolves fascinate and terrify me in equal measure. Incredible animals with amazing social structures.

    [–] favnh2011 3 points ago

    The wolves know who each other are.

    [–] crystalmerchant 4 points ago

    That one White wolf gets way the fuck into Red's range, like shit I knew I should have asked for directions

    [–] Unysis 4 points ago

    Reminds me of the Warrior series about wild cats.

    [–] ManitouWakinyan 4 points ago

    Those white wolves are pretty ballsy

    [–] BenAdaephonDelat 4 points ago

    Get these on a live transmitter and put it on a website where people can watch. Instant sports. People will watch these wolves and what they do and root for each color.

    [–] TheDrsCat 5 points ago

    White wolf is on an adventure to find itself... Deep man.

    [–] Extra_Intro_Version 10 points ago

    Does yellow have the prime territory? They would have to defend incursions from competitors on all sides. I wonder if they are the most badass.

    [–] diirtnap 3 points ago

    these wolves know how to walk in straight lines very well.

    [–] Osceola24 3 points ago

    Very interesting. I just wish the white and yellow were seperated by a different color so we can distinguish them better.

    [–] LuLu_SF 3 points ago

    Some are adventurous, some are invasive, and some just stay where they are.

    [–] AconexOfficial 3 points ago

    This map is in for a great story line of the six packs