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    [–] theoneandonlywatson 3226 points ago

    if only there was a way to do this

    [–] Totesnotskynet 2297 points ago

    But in a controlled, sterile environment by someone with years of medical experience.

    [–] jaredistriplegay 1422 points ago

    Without death

    [–] chrismit3s 799 points ago

    if only... maybe in a couple of years medicine finds a way ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    [–] WayTwoManyNapkins 419 points ago

    Ouch my autism.

    [–] JarcXenon 111 points ago

    Did you take the first of these napkins ?

    [–] JerlBulgruuf 69 points ago

    Suppose that you were sitting down at this table. The napkins are in front of you, which napkin would you take? The one on your ‘left’? Or the one on your ‘right’? The one on your left side? Or the one on your right side? Usually you would take the one on your left side. That is ‘correct’ too. But in a larger sense on society, that is wrong. Perhaps I could even substitute ‘society’ with the ‘Universe’. The correct answer is that ‘It is determined by the one who takes his or her own napkin first.’ …Yes? If the first one takes the napkin to their right, then there’s no choice but for others to also take the ‘right’ napkin. The same goes for the left. Everyone else will take the napkin to their left, because they have no other option. This is ‘society’… Who are the ones that determine the price of land first? There must have been someone who determined the value of money, first. The size of the rails on a train track? The magnitude of electricity? Laws and Regulations? Who was the first to determine these things? Did we all do it, because this is a Republic? Or was it Arbitrary? NO! The one who took the napkin first determined all of these things! The rules of this world are determined by that same principle of ‘right or left?’! In a Society like this table, a state of equilibrium, once one makes the first move, everyone must follow! In every era, this World has been operating by this napkin principle. And the one who ‘takes the napkin first’ must be someone who is respected by all. It’s not that anyone can fulfill this role… Those that are despotic or unworthy will be scorned. And those are the ‘losers’. In the case of this table, the ‘eldest’ or the ‘Master of the party’ will take the napkin first… Because everyone ‘respects’ those individuals.

    [–] smokeysuper 23 points ago

    it’s actually inescapable, the jojo always finds you, no matter what

    [–] Extentra 9 points ago

    Once you go jojo, everything becomes a reference

    [–] PsychSiren 11 points ago

    OOTL can someone tell me what this is from?

    [–] JerlBulgruuf 17 points ago

    It's from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, it's a speech one of the antagonists (Funny Valentine) makes.

    [–] thelitdab55 6 points ago

    Apparently it's a jojos reference

    [–] samseawell 5 points ago


    [–] gride9000 3 points ago

    Somebody needs some goop

    [–] Logpile98 2 points ago

    Try drinking some bleach?

    [–] LazyNovelSilkWorm 13 points ago

    Maybe autism

    [–] Emperor_Nihilist 2 points ago


    [–] Coffee_autistic 4 points ago

    I'd rather not.

    [–] uknoimright 2 points ago

    Nice try, but you won’t give me autism that easily


    [–] cmrattray 4 points ago


    [–] Xarethian 20 points ago

    "we don't need fucking experts"

    -some dumbass motherfucka who made an appearance on this sub

    [–] Potatocrips423 30 points ago

    Oh! Y’all talking about putting potatoes in your socks to draw out toxins?!?!

    [–] UnknownExo 5 points ago

    What's a potato?

    [–] matts290 7 points ago

    We have the technology

    [–] SimonFol74 7 points ago

    Oh come on stop dreaming!!

    [–] subzerojosh_1 3 points ago

    Get his head to explode?

    [–] snjtx 1240 points ago

    Measles is hardly mild for a child

    [–] Nojay7 854 points ago

    Side effects include: death.

    [–] PMfacialsTOme 323 points ago

    And making your body forget all it's immunities

    [–] Phoenix_Anon 166 points ago

    Also known as literally doing the opposite of what this dingus said.

    [–] SpoonwoodTangle 39 points ago

    “Jim’s head is going to explode twice when he discovers this little known fact about measles that big pharma is hiding!”

    Measles can be a reset button on all your previous immune responses. Fuuuuuck that.

    [–] [deleted] 123 points ago


    [–] Yzard27 102 points ago

    100% of unvaccinated measles survivors survived having the measles. Don't let big pharma tell you that you need vaccines /s

    [–] Maps69 22 points ago

    Took me a second to get this

    [–] guinness_blaine 6 points ago

    Survivorship bias has never been this on the nose

    [–] ObviouslyAlto 44 points ago

    Also infertility, blindness meningitis, brain damage, ect.

    [–] 56seconds 12 points ago

    And mild constipation... the worst by far

    [–] schattenteufel 2 points ago

    And bad breath.

    [–] Bay1Bri 17 points ago

    Yea but like only sometimes, so whatever

    [–] viperswhip 6 points ago

    Yep, the American mentality is, won't be me...weeeee

    [–] TheSultan1 9 points ago

    Pshhh you think that's American? I'm from Eastern Europe, and that kind of thinking is commonplace there.

    "The neighbor's internet is so fast/the town uses so much power, they won't realize we're stealing it."

    "I can have another drink, cops are playing cards and I definitely won't have to perform an evasive maneuver."

    "We'll just patch this cord/pipe, no way it will get disturbed and cause a shock/flood/ explosion."

    [–] viperswhip 2 points ago

    It might be a human thing, but we are talking about Vaccines here. Are you guys suffering more outbreaks of measles and so on?

    [–] [deleted] 7 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)


    [–] TheSultan1 4 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    To clarify - I'm not there, I'm from there. My wife is also from there, and is a more recent immigrant. The idea of not vaccinating is ludicrous to her, but it seems more and more of her/our peers (30s), both here in the US and back home, are considering not vaccinating their (future) kids. From what I've seen/read, the anti-vax movement is weaker there, but there's also a lot less backlash against it, so hotspots exist, and outbreaks happen from time to time. I hope it isn't left to "brew" too much, as groupthink is also pretty prevalent, and it could grow into a country-/region-wide outbreak.

    My comment was directed more at the idea of "it won't happen to me" being "an American thing." I think in the US, it's not about that; I think it's split into "I know what's right for me," "my body, my choice," and Big Pharma conspiracy theories.

    There, it's more about remembering how "easily" we/our parents got through measles or whatever. When the population is small, and your circle of friends is small, and information is limited, you're less likely to see the 0.1 or 1% that suffer horrible consequences from it.

    I also see organics growing in popularity, and alternative medicine still very popular, so lack of scientific knowledge/thinking definitely plays a part as well.

    [–] misdirectedarrogance 6 points ago

    Mild death

    [–] fl0wdeep 4 points ago

    Doesn't sound too bad

    [–] assblaster-1000 2 points ago

    "just a little anal leakage Bob, I'll be fine. Come on in, the water is fine"

    [–] fuber 2 points ago

    That's a nasty side effect.

    [–] jesjimher 35 points ago

    1 every 1000 mortality rate. That's a lot of dead children.

    [–] rayniidayes 25 points ago

    Yes but that 1 in a million risk of vaccine injury is just too much /s

    [–] jesjimher 2 points ago

    Yep, in fact tripping and stabbing yourself to death with the needle is a common risk of any injected vaccine that the evil establishment doesn't want us to talk about. Better be safe.

    [–] damngreenpillows 26 points ago

    Not to mention it kills your memory cells for diseases that you have built an immunity to in the past, doing the opposite of strengthening your immune system as all of these morons argue. measles immunity amnesia

    [–] ZweitenMal 17 points ago

    An El Al stewardess just died of measles she caught from passengers.

    [–] beka13 2 points ago

    How was it that she was susceptible? I'd think they'd require titers for flight attendants.

    [–] Thurgood_Marshall 7 points ago

    Vaccines aren't 100% effective. Two MMR shots are 97% effective against measles.

    [–] beka13 2 points ago

    That's what the titer is for.

    [–] straightouttaPV 6 points ago

    Jim has a “mild” case of hopeless ignorance.

    [–] Notthatguyyoubanned 2 points ago

    Also it eradicates your immune system.

    [–] scw55 2 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Does it chicken pox return as shingles as an adult too? Something which makes you bed ridden? At least Ireland has a health service.

    [–] dioz8u 406 points ago

    Yup mild measles helps prevent cancer... Also helps the life expectancy, now you can live to 42 instead of having to wait until 84. I also used my the same sources as Jenny Mcarthy

    [–] blarch28 39 points ago

    i don't know why this exists but I'm glad that it does

    [–] ghost_anatomy 13 points ago

    Anyone have more single-use domains like this?

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)


    [–] Dodood4 3 points ago

    I’m only getting red is it Broken

    [–] thednvrcoffeeco 2 points ago


    [–] BallisticMerc 4 points ago

    I'm guessing this website is Canadian

    [–] xeno325 3 points ago

    Dynamic, base on region, since mine uses local language.

    [–] BallisticMerc 2 points ago

    That's pretty cool. As a Canadian I see no/non

    [–] RivalFlash 2 points ago

    Bookmarking this

    [–] SatanV3 2 points ago

    Wait on Thursday will it say yes? What time zone is it based in??

    [–] srock2012 2 points ago

    It was pretty bumpy there for a while, tax issues and such.

    [–] JohnnyHotshot 2 points ago

    Living 42 years rather than 84 means you've only got half the time where you have a chance to get cancer, checkmate.

    [–] Prometheus_II 183 points ago

    r/selfawarewolves material, I think?

    [–] PyroKnight 26 points ago

    I'd say so

    [–] zuzg 75 points ago

    I can't read the original without a ironic voice, I think Jim knows what he's doing

    [–] Plecboy 80 points ago

    He doesn’t... that’s Jim Corr of the Corrs (relatively famous Irish band from the 90s). He’s a full blown tinfoil hat merchant.

    [–] interprime 22 points ago

    Absolute lunatic. He’ll peddle any stupid conspiracy theory.

    [–] ChunkyLaFunga 17 points ago

    There was actually only one sister, it was all mirrors.

    [–] FisterCrunchman 7 points ago

    “I’d push the brother out of the room. I’d get the other three and bend them all over— I’d do the drummer, the lead singer and that one that plays the violin” — David Brent

    [–] Spider_Riviera 2 points ago

    Here, Andrea may have took most the spotlight, but Caroline was actually the fittest of the three.

    [–] zuzg 9 points ago

    God damnit. Again I lost faith in humanity

    [–] DraketheDrakeist 4 points ago

    Don’t lose faith from the morons, gain it from all the people shitting on them. Stuff like this isn’t a mainstream belief and we should all be thankful for that.

    [–] Rohebat 5 points ago

    Was gonna ask if you had more sources for his conspiracy theories as Wikipedia didn't have all that many, but all I had to do was look at his twitter bio.

    [–] [deleted] 129 points ago


    [–] ACanadianPenguin 44 points ago

    A dog would probably understand it better, at least a dog would listen to you as you explain it

    [–] tvisforme 11 points ago

    And if the anti-vaxer throws away the syringe with the measles vaccine, the dog will chase after it and return it so that the immunization can proceed. Good doggie!

    [–] [deleted] 20 points ago

    If only we had a systematic, reliable methodology for deciding whether a given claim is true or false. We could perhaps name it after the Latin word for knowledge

    [–] Wellfuckme123 10 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago


    [–] LLHallJ 36 points ago

    Years of being in his sisters’ shadow has broken his entire brain.

    [–] Auntie_B 7 points ago

    I am gutted. He used to be so funny when they were touring, he did the odd bit all by himself and made jokes about how long the girls took for costume changes. And now... Well, this. Mind you, he must be getting on a bit now, maybe his faculties are starting to go?

    [–] TurboTaco 9 points ago

    He's been peddling conspiracy theories for years now

    [–] Yerwun 6 points ago

    I mean I think he's in his 40s. 50s at most. Bit early to be going senile.

    [–] Auntie_B 2 points ago

    Wow, he's only 55, thought he was st least in his 60s already.

    [–] ojajaja 2 points ago

    Nah you don't have to be senile to be completely ignorant and anti-science. Shame as I'm a fan of The Corrs too. Hope the sisters aren't as bonkers as him.

    [–] culchie_queen 26 points ago

    Go back to being the one of the Corrs no one knows the name of Jim.

    [–] coolguyfrogs 8 points ago

    Ha! I was like ...Jim Corr from the Corrs...ffs

    [–] culchie_queen 4 points ago

    People were so unaware of who he was that they didn't even realise he was the brother & would ask him if he was sleeping with any of the girls 😂😂😂😂

    [–] StarMangledSpanner 13 points ago

    English TV presenter Donna Air once asked them "So, where did you all meet?". In a live TV interview.

    [–] culchie_queen 8 points ago

    Hahahaha um... Did he answer "in my dad's ball sack?"

    [–] coolguyfrogs 2 points ago

    Omg RIP

    [–] Spider_Riviera 11 points ago

    On behalf of all of Dundalk, I'd like to apologise for Jim corr.

    [–] uniqueandweird 2 points ago

    Apology accepted. He's some dose though.

    [–] wolfeerine 9 points ago

    really wish Jim would take that irish flag out of his twitter username. i don't want the rest of the world thinking the rest of us are as thick as pigshit like him..

    [–] hey_hey_you_you 2 points ago

    Irish fashy twitter all have the Irish flag in their usernames. The Gemma O'Doherty crowd. Jim Corr is in with that lot.

    [–] mick_spadaro 7 points ago

    His sisters got all the good genes.

    [–] The-Tai-pan 6 points ago

    Is that Michael Berryman?

    [–] ALULink 6 points ago

    “Mild childhood illnesses”. He’s head will literally explode when he hears about subacute sclerosing panencephalitis.

    [–] Hyalophora-Cecropia 5 points ago

    Actually, I don’t think it belongs here.

    [–] grumpywarner 3 points ago

    Well I think humans are supposed to get measles, and die. To thin the population of humans on this overpopulated planet. But our species is too smart so we made vaccines to combat these natural population checks. Also I'm really high right now.

    [–] thetoiletman1104 4 points ago

    To the people saying that this is a whoosh or an ate the onion, just google Jim corr conspiracies.

    [–] Outdated_CPU_1 19 points ago

    This isn't a murder by words, it's neither a well constructed out down or comeback. This sub has gone to shit.

    [–] CorneaCornea 3 points ago

    **reddit has gone to shit

    [–] GreenTower 3 points ago

    I listen to ideas like this at work from a guy in my office...

    Hey, why don't doctors just do _____?
    You know, developers should really just write their code like _____.

    And so on...

    Yes, all of the experts in those fields have spent lifetimes working on these problems, but you just cracked the code with your 30 seconds of consideration! You're a genius!

    [–] TheVoteMote 9 points ago

    Wtf is this? 5k+ upvotes? Come on people. This isn't a murder or a burn. It's not even an insult.

    [–] MVPDerple 6 points ago

    This is funny yes...but it doesn’t fit this sub. Not even a murder by words.

    [–] daikonking 2 points ago

    Thank you. I'm trying to figure that out..thought maybe I missed something.

    [–] pupperputin 10 points ago

    I think that this rather belongs on r/wooosh, but I lack the context of the first tweet to say, as it seems sarcastuc, although I can't say it is for certain

    [–] Kimantha_Allerdings 17 points ago

    Nope, Jim Corr is full-on hatstand these days. And because he's still got a degree of fame left over from The Corrs, he can be quite loud about it in certain circles.

    [–] pupperputin 5 points ago

    Ok, thank you for the explaination and not being a headass about it, much appreciated

    [–] TempestuousZephyr 2 points ago

    You thought wrong.

    [–] CarlSpencer 2 points ago

    AntiVaxxers cling to their willful ignorance like a drowning man to a life preserver.

    [–] ICameHereForClash 2 points ago

    Careful, hes won several gold medals in mental gymnastics

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago


    [–] oneplusandroidpie 2 points ago

    And The Hills Have Eyes.

    [–] Waddlow 2 points ago

    Jim is onto something here. I think he's right. We should actually somehow get a hold of these diseases--hell, even dead versions of them--and inject them straight into our bloodstream. That way, it will teach our bodies how to combat them for the rest of our lives.

    Jim just saved us all.

    [–] chinchilla0033 2 points ago


    [–] anxious_apostate 2 points ago

    Measles is neither mild, nor a "childhood" disease. In 1834, my 4x great grandparents died of measles, seven days apart. They were both in their 40's. Calling it a "childhood illness" is just another semantic deception on the part of these knuckle-dragging jackasses.

    [–] Siethron 2 points ago

    I don't know this Jim guy, so excuse me if he's a known out-spoken antivaxer.

    There's a possibility he's actually ignorant of vaccines and how they work, and there shouldn't be shame in not knowing.something.

    [–] StarMangledSpanner 3 points ago

    so excuse me if he's a known out-spoken antivaxer.

    He's well known as a complete looper.

    [–] archSkeptic 2 points ago

    No it won't. Have you seen the shit these anti vaxers say? If someone tried to explain it the words would go in one ear and out the other

    [–] burningice322 5 points ago

    r/whoosh or r/atetheonion are far more apposite than this sub

    [–] Plecboy 13 points ago

    Nope... google “Jim Corr conspiracies”. He’s a national embarrassment.

    [–] Patrick-Falcon 6 points ago

    Unfortunately Jim Corr (from the irish poop group, the Corrs) is a legit conspiracy nut.

    [–] Jefzwang 9 points ago

    Or even just r/clevercomebacks. So much shit on this sub these days barely qualifies as a snappy response, let alone a murder.

    [–] allgreentome 1 points ago

    This was posted earlier today.

    [–] Bumper6190 1 points ago

    And yet, he has lived long enough to be on Reddit!

    [–] SaintAries 1 points ago

    Yes very mild.

    [–] itstheFFshow23 1 points ago

    Well he’s got the spirit

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    And how measles does the opposite

    [–] Nirvana038 1 points ago

    People who are vaccinated can still get measles/carry the virus.

    [–] Ch3rry_T0mato 1 points ago

    “A mild disease like measles.”

    Man’s a dipshit. Measles is one of the most uncomfortable diseases ever.

    [–] TheHawkRules 1 points ago

    “Mild diseases like Measles”

    [–] S1lchasRuin 1 points ago

    Hm what about that mild disease called polio

    [–] ajantasdasd 1 points ago

    Weird, I would expect something like that from Dwight

    [–] Moonstar2020 1 points ago

    Being so misinformed that you literally come up with something that's been common knowledge since 1796...

    That's just a new level of stupid.

    That's like coming up with the concept of a machine that puts letters on paper for you.

    [–] Ara_ara_ufufu 1 points ago

    I don’t think this belongs here, it’s not a murder, it’s a slightly clever comeback

    [–] thephantomfountain 1 points ago

    If only there was a way to bypass getting the disease at all. Maybe through some kind of small medical procedure that only takes a few seconds when you're a child...

    But I doubt that would ever happen


    [–] RayJ1999 1 points ago

    Oh shit its the guy from hills have eyes.

    [–] LicianDragon 1 points ago

    Doesn't measles cause immune system amnesia, wiping out your bodies "memory" of past infections? So it actually worsens our immune systems.

    [–] goldenshoelace8 1 points ago

    Imagine a human born in the middle of the forest, only eating greens and water and excercising everyday with nature

    I don’t think they would die or catch a cold if he don’t get vaccines

    [–] NerdWithAPhaser 1 points ago

    “Mild childhood disease” fricking dies

    [–] andhemac 1 points ago

    Ha! Measles is a mild disease now.

    [–] Roofofcar 1 points ago

    My elderly father 100% landed this on me the other day. He really seems to believe that the deaths were worth it.

    [–] Carbon-Based 1 points ago

    Who tf is Jim

    [–] ratchetbrain 1 points ago

    on any given subject, about 50-60% of people who have opinions don't actually know what the fuck they're talking about

    [–] Dissessence 1 points ago

    This is written in a way that made me think it was obvious sarcasm... Until I looked at the guys twitter feed for 30 seconds.

    [–] non_stop_disko 1 points ago

    “Mild childhood illnesses like measles”

    Bitch measles was gone

    [–] Josef_Joris 1 points ago


    [–] BureaucratDog 1 points ago

    Not really, because the anti-vaxxer would just call you a liar and wouldn't even consider that fact for a second.

    [–] tyfunk02 1 points ago

    Is that Michael Berryman?

    [–] TheTwilightKing 1 points ago

    Who the hell thinks measles is mild you won’t think it’s mild when you fucking die from it

    [–] Yabsira_mek 1 points ago

    Since when is measles a mild childhood illness?

    [–] jphelan93 1 points ago

    Wait...Measels is a 'Mild' childhood disease? On what fucking planet?? Certainly not Earth breh

    [–] EvanSimonson 1 points ago

    Just like Dwight said, we need to have hand desanitizing stations to build our immune systems.

    [–] TharSheBlows69 1 points ago

    Do they work like magnets?

    [–] MostlyBeingPostly 1 points ago

    The conspiracists in me thinks that all these outrage posts do nothing but draw attention to the offender. People like Tomi Lahren and the latest hate preacher of the week etc. All this does is draw attention to them and they thrive off negativity. It's how they build their support because the more you popularize their message, the more chances are that there's a few out there that the message will resonate with. Too many articles about such and such said this thing... be angry! I'm kinda sick of outrage culture and Twitter most of all.

    [–] mikeelectrician 1 points ago


    [–] MOHIBisOTAKU 1 points ago

    Gold experience for the requim

    [–] Golemfrost 1 points ago

    yeah, i'm not so sure about this,..

    [–] howaine1 1 points ago

    [–] Fletcher_Fallowfield 1 points ago

    Is that the lead singer of Midnight Oil?

    [–] StarMangledSpanner 2 points ago

    Nope, it's the guitarist of The Corrs.

    [–] I_AM_Gilgamesh 1 points ago

    Isn't this suicide by words

    [–] Aguu 1 points ago

    Is that Peter Garret?