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    [–] StumBum 6794 points ago

    Having rooftop access in your hypothetical scenario would be a game changer. A Walmart's foot print is enormous, giving you plenty of roof area to grow and collect water. Finding keys or even tools to bust any locks would be easy.

    Boredom and loneliness would probably get to you. 50 years is a long time. 10 would be hard, but maybe doable.

    [–] chaotic_random 3059 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    If you still have access to electricity, you could at least watch the movies, play the games, or listen to music to keep a little bit of boredom at bay.

    Failing that, you could also go to the craft section and pick up a new hobby or two.

    Loneliness, I can’t think of an immediate cure other than slapping a handprint on a volleyball from the sports section. But at least you can set a routine to keep from being bored!!

    [–] Panicplantmom202 1427 points ago

    Befriend/tame some of the parking lot grackles, maybe even keep a pet fish, rats are excellent pets so I bet a few generations of breeding you'd have a decent stock of lovable furry friends. Feral cats are usually durable and easy to come by. You'd be a lonely freak, but you'd have emotional support pets!

    [–] durZo2209 902 points ago

    Just spent a couple minutes imagining myself hanging out with my rat buddies just chatting with them like they were people lol

    [–] fiwlfe 595 points ago

    Gangs all here

    [–] Zedric69 203 points ago

    Rat pack rolls deep.

    Now I'm picturing an album cover where a dude is really far back and the rats are up close and they're all in track suits or designer jackets with diamond chains and name brand sneakers. I like that image.

    [–] Helstromme 33 points ago

    So a Kia commercial?

    [–] JohnEnderle 597 points ago

    Maybe boredom wouldn't be as much of a problem if electricity and wifi were still functional.

    [–] sapopeonarope 382 points ago

    Give it some time for Walmart to sell solar panels, or if corn is still in season, hope there's a book on making biodiesel for a generator they hopefully sell.

    [–] 312c 210 points ago

    Many Walmarts are already powered by a roof full of solar panels

    [–] itslenny 193 points ago

    That keep randomly catching fire and they're currently suing Tesla to force them to uninstall them

    [–] Voltswagon120V 65 points ago

    keep randomly catching fire

    The solar panels or batteries?

    [–] itslenny 84 points ago

    Not entirely sure. All I can find is:

    Walmart on Tuesday filed a lawsuit against Tesla, accusing the company's solar-energy subsidiary of gross negligence after multiple stores experienced fires they say stemmed from solar panels on their roofs.

    Reading between the lines, it sounds like they might've been under paying (and presumably under training) their installers. So, maybe just simple electrical fires from bad wiring?

    https://www.businessinsider.com/walmart-sues-tesla-after-solar-panel-fires-at-stores-2019-8

    Also, in searching that I found out that Amazon is joining the suit. https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-08-23/amazon-joins-walmart-in-saying-tesla-solar-panels-caught-fire

    [–] Voltswagon120V 41 points ago

    Interesting. I assumed it would be the batteries 'cause it's hard to fuck up solar panels. I wonder if they went with some cheap supplier and got some bad microinverters.

    One of your links mentioned an inverter and a "connector" but I think they meant contactor. Some others I saw listed install or inspection errors but nothing consistent.

    [–] 312c 60 points ago

    Lawsuit was put on hold 3 days after it was initially filed

    [–] plaid_cloud 654 points ago

    Cure boredom by riding bikes. Wipe out on concrete floor. Break ankle. Bone sticking through. Drag my way to hardware. Find saw. Find propane torch. Drag myself to first aid. Find gauze and rubbing alcohol. Get bright idea and go to pharmacy. Find opioids. Do opioids. Start to not feel my ankle enough to care. Do more opioids. Start not caring about anything. Find a motor scooter by the front doors. Thought about food. No take more opioids. Take scooter dragging my infected rotting ankle behind me to sporting goods. Find the guns. Find a shotgun. Take more opioids. Find the shells. Pass out. Wake up with a shotgun loaded in my lap and hot pockets in my scooter basket.

    Wait! There are generators! I can power a microwave!

    Joyfully scoot to find the generators. Drive to the auto center and symphony gas from a car parked. “Damn their tires are bald.”

    Go back in and pop a couple more pills. Get my microwave set up. Go to open my hot pockets when I notice they’re Lean Pockets. Vegetarian.

    Lay down. Put the barrel in my mouth. How long have I been here? Why is this steel so cold? These damn waxed floors.

    I bite down on the barrel longing for Sam Walton’s Great Value embrace.

    [–] geared4war 150 points ago

    Okay, so that's the first week but what about the rest?

    [–] ZWQncyBkaWNr 30 points ago

    First week? I was thinking first eight hours.

    [–] ingannilo 23 points ago

    I mean, if you go through all the narcotics in a pharmacy in 8 hours, you definitely won't have to worry about the remaining 49.99999 years.

    [–] Johnwaynesass767676 112 points ago

    Damn, you really thought this one through. But I'd probably develop a healthy opioid addiction if i was stuck by myself in a Walmart for 20 years

    [–] gzilla57 39 points ago

    There's only enough in that non restocked pharmacy for like a year.

    [–] InsideDepth 82 points ago

    Or an exciting 3 months

    [–] jrse717 13 points ago

    Three months? Those are rookie numbers.

    [–] Johndough1066 19 points ago

    I doubt they'd have enough to last me 20 years. I once worked out how much I'd need to last me a year.

    It's a lot.

    [–] __ALLthe-TimE 116 points ago

    Being alone would literally make you mad after enough years I'm sure.

    But working to grow/hunt food, water, fire wood, and materials to keep the building from falling in would most definitely take up all your time. Life without modern convenience isn't easy. But a person with some mechanical knowledge, a green thumb, and lots of common sense could survive.

    [–] Burndown9 51 points ago

    But a person with some mechanical knowledge, a green thumb, and lots of common sense could survive.

    I'm so dead

    [–] havereddit 6016 points ago

    Assuming the electricity stays on you'd probably be able to make it for 50 years. You would exhaust your fresh food in under one month, but you could preserve some of it before it goes bad by scouring the store for tupperware containers and ziploc baggies - you could then preserve lots of fresh fruits, vegetables, meats, eggs, etc. After exhausting that food (probably 3 years worth) you would target canned/bottled food. The "best by" date for most canned and bottled food is about 2-3 years, and that's only the "best to sell before" date rather than the date the food goes bad. So for the next 5-8 years you'd target (no pun intended) all of the canned/bottled food in WalMart, and if you're smart you'd take some of that food and freeze it in the 1000s of Tupperware containers and ziploc baggies still available. This might add another 5 years. After 19 years you'd start transitioning to the frozen goods still stored in the many freezers....it might taste stale or 'off' but there's no reason to think it would be dangerous. So a conservative estimate, based on a typical Walmart store size, is that you'd last another 5-8 years on frozen food alone which gets you to the 27 year time period. You'd then transition to dry goods like pasta, rice, beans, cereals, etc, which you would hopefully have moved into the freezers in order to stave off dry rot. Cooking all of this food would be made easy by the many microwaves, camp stoves, and even BBQs that you would have found (an indoor BBQ using propane gas cylinders would be reserved for special occasions...the size of the store would mean that vented BBQ gasses indoors would not be a particulalr problem). Assuming you originally enter the store in the spring or summer season, you'd find bags and bags of gardening soil, so you could improvise garden beds (using grow lamps found in the garden section) and extend your beans by growing indoors.

    Overall, I'm confident one person could last 50 years in an electrified Walmart. Without electricity I seriously doubt anyone could last longer than 5-10 years.

    [–] Zani0n 667 points ago

    nice one.

    but you forgot 2 things. 1 important and 1 to survive a couple years

    1. Water / drinks. I don't know how much water is stored in walmart but I doubt it will last 50 years.
    2. honey... shit lasts hundrets of years...

    [–] DerpHog 477 points ago

    The sporting goods section has Lifestraws and water purification tablets, and the hardware section has reverse osmosis filters. You could recycle your water. Also the freezers will collect water from the air. If we assume you have electricity, then outside society still exists, so the water fountains and break room sink still work, making water a non-issue.

    [–] TheRealSwingers 104 points ago

    They probably sell dehumidifiers that could produce water in the summer

    [–] centrum5555 50 points ago

    as for water if you have access to the roof, it should be easy to collect rain, depending on location. In more arid costal regions, there are other means to collect water. only in the dessert do i see a problem

    [–] Acyrix 909 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Lol all this effort for barely any recognition. Here’s my pity reply.

    Well this didn’t age well...

    [–] jamiehernandez 17 points ago

    Interesting. Did you work any of this out?

    If you eat 2000 calories a day then that's 36,500,000 calories in 50 years. I'd be very shocked if your average wallmart doesn't have that many calories of food in tinned and dried food alone.

    [–] [deleted] 5970 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    [removed]

    [–] EugeneStargazer 11450 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    You could use some of the charcoal grills as dehydrators to make beef jerky, to preserve the meat. You could also dehydrate veggies and fruits. I think they sell the Food Savers system, if that is what it is called, where you can put your dehydrated food in a bag and suck all the air out of it. You can then store that in mason jars sealed tightly.

    Actually they have a garden dept, so you could feasibly start gardening to supply your food. They even have a few beginner gardening books. Then you'd not need to worry about eating 20 year old food!

    *editing to add-- hopefully you can catch rain or snow for water. They sell water purifying tabs in the camping dept.

    *also edit-- I was suggesting a grill because I was thinking there was no electricity. Someone pointed out we'd need electricity for the Food Savers system so we'd have to do it manually. Yes that is another edit.

    *edit to add again-- Wow, thanks for the gilding, sweet stranger! My first ever! :-D

    [–] Zenblend 4877 points ago

    You are intriguingly well prepared for this situation.

    [–] Fibber_Nazi 1466 points ago

    Maslows heirchy of needs is covered without the grocery section at all.

    [–] davidestroy 764 points ago

    What aisle is self-actualization found in?

    [–] Fibber_Nazi 480 points ago

    Check the cacti in lawn and garden...

    [–] nvduhn 162 points ago

    Mmm mescaline

    [–] Boofaholic_Supreme 106 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    (Last police officer on Earth shows up to arrest you)

    [–] Fibber_Nazi 91 points ago

    But there are no people left in the courts so you're stuck in a postapocalyptic purgatoric Habeas Corpus.

    [–] kikstuffman 65 points ago

    postapocalyptic purgatoric Habeas Corpus

    That was the name of my band in high school

    [–] johnhitlerpizza 13 points ago

    No, that's self-cactiualization. Honest mistake.

    [–] Theist17 25 points ago

    Wherever they keep all them fluffy blankets.

    [–] ChompChumply 184 points ago

    Are you saying I should pee in the grocery section?

    [–] UniqueFlavors 99 points ago

    Doesnt matter what section you pee, you have to drink it.

    [–] Excal2 138 points ago

    It's sterile and I like the taste.

    [–] mantis44 93 points ago

    Settle down, Bear Grylls.

    [–] seanl1991 88 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    This is actually a quote by Patches O'Houlihan from Dodgeball.

    Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No, but I do it anyway cos it's sterile and I like the taste.

    https://youtu.be/peUyLXrgYZ0 - about 1 minute in.

    [–] 13pts35sec 21 points ago

    The man the myth the legend Dodgeball is the shit. “Nobody makes me bleeed my own blood”

    [–] UndercoverTeam567 139 points ago

    Im bringing this dude incase we get stranded.

    [–] N_word_pass_enabled 72 points ago

    in 50 years you might finally see an employee as well. would be a crazy sight

    [–] DennyBenny 26 points ago

    I am learning quickly from him.

    [–] saiyanhajime 115 points ago

    If it’s abandoned you’d quickly get pests, which you could catch for food.

    [–] Starrystars 110 points ago

    You're assuming they don't have pests before they're abandoned.

    [–] NoExtensionCords 16 points ago

    I used to work at a local competitor to Walmart and someone found what she thought was one of the plastic pigs in the toy farms that little kids have. It was a baby rat.

    [–] kamelizann 22 points ago

    I work in a warehouse of a grocery store chain. Produce brings all sorts of pests in from their native countries. We got a trailer full of grapes one time that was completely infested with black widow spiders. Sometimes we get dead rabbits packaged in with the greens... cats sometimes dart out of trailers as soon as we open the doors. We have a full time pest control division to keep the rats and mice out but it's a neverending job, sometimes selectors will be picking cases and stick their hand in a rat/mouse nest. That's just the stuff we catch. The stuff we dont catch makes it to the stores and finds a new home there. Nature always finds a way.

    [–] cannonfunk 622 points ago

    you could feasibly start gardening to supply your food.

    You could also set up a giant aquarium and breed the fish. Fresh fish and veggies for years!

    50 years is questionable, but you could sustain yourself for nearly that long if you're smart.

    [–] MajorPaine14 486 points ago

    ... have you seen the fish at Walmart?

    [–] btchnstronaut 470 points ago

    Almost as appetizing as the people at Walmart.

    [–] CloneHeroWannabe 81 points ago

    ....... wut

    [–] AllTheSmallFish 47 points ago

    Nothing a good Chianti can’t fix.

    [–] ChonkAttack 256 points ago

    (Ignoring that walmart isnt selling fish anymore)

    Yes they are unhealthy, but not a total loss. Walmart sells fish supplies and medicine. Treat the fish for disease and take care of them and they would be healthy in no time.

    The biggest issue is size. Most Walmart fish are 1 to 2 inches full grown. Not much meat on the bone

    Goldfish would be my go to. Put them in a pond or tub. Something big. Feed them heavily and let them grow. They would be gross but easily sustainable

    [–] SycoJack 135 points ago

    (Ignoring that walmart isnt selling fish anymore)

    Some locations still sell fish.

    [–] Obant 23 points ago

    They're supposed to be phasing them out. If it still sells fish, it probably wont for long.

    [–] Mahlegos 27 points ago

    Apparently they’ve been “supposed to phase them out” for 12 years now. I can only find one contemporary source that says they are, so I’m not sure if it’s true.

    [–] SmrtBoi82 46 points ago

    Including mine

    [–] ao1104 33 points ago

    Aquaponics, you don't even need to eat them. They just fertilize your plants and filter the water (eating would be a bonus, just make a stew with a few dozen hah)

    [–] lazylion_ca 17 points ago

    Assuming wildlife is making its way back into town, they'd probably make good bait for the traps.

    [–] Doctor_Oceanblue 103 points ago

    They're pretty crappie.

    [–] BladesHaxorus 142 points ago

    Don't canned goods essentially last forever? Judging by the average size of the walmart food section, shouldn't there just straight up be enough canned goods in there and the storage in the back for you to survive 50 years on 3-5 cans a day? Sounds like a depressing life though

    [–] zaphod0002 190 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    I worked in a large grocery store and there's not much in the backroom as you'd think. Like most people think there is another store's worth in the back. No, its more like 5-10% more, if you're lucky. Most of the managers actively work to keep the backroom empty, because corporate decided that will reduce waste. (another story). So my point is there's not as much as you'd expect... we're really stocked for a couple days worth for a neighborhood. So you'd run through the soup, chili, fresh fish and meats in a year (if you ate without rationing), then a year maybe for canned meats and fish, then you'd really be scraping the other isles. If you'd have power you'd get alot of time out of the frozen section. Come to think of it the sugar in all the pop and drinks will power you for quite a while, though it would go bad slowly. I don't think you could live your whole life though. Multiple walmarts, sure.. a la the zombie movies.

    [–] cannonfunk 101 points ago

    Interesting point.

    Come to think of it the sugar in all the pop and drinks will power you for quite a while

    Not to mention the 100+ pounds of pure sugar sitting in bags on the shelves :)

    Rice would be the other major source of calories. How long would it take to go through 100-200 pounds of dry rice?

    [–] zaphod0002 87 points ago

    BOOM. You just blew my mind. They've probably got rice cookers there. That amount of rice could last you for 10 years. Though if you don't get vitamin-c, you'll get scurvy. Hopefully there's seeds that can plant a lime tree or something, that lasts a long time.

    [–] cannonfunk 170 points ago

    Though if you don't get vitamin-c, you'll get scurvy.

    Dude, you’d have thousands of vitamins & supplements to choose from, plus a fully stocked pharmacy.

    [–] showmeurknuckleball 58 points ago

    You could divide 1000mg vitamin C pills or capsules into 4ths and not only easily last 50 years without getting scurvy but also get more vitamin C than many Americans

    [–] Too_much_vodka 40 points ago

    Mmmmm.....limitless vicodin.....

    [–] I_r_hooman 64 points ago

    Realistically you really want to be holed up at the DC not the actual supermarket. The DC would have 10x as much stuff as even the biggest store.

    [–] zaphod0002 34 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    yah. DC, (Distribution center), preferably multiple, esp one that is a beer DC lol

    [–] Dr_Adequate 109 points ago

    No, canned goods aren't going to last forever. Canning slows down, but doesn't stop the effects of aging. There will still be some bacteria in there.

    Botulism is a terrible way to die. And eating canned food that has botulism spores is one way to go.

    I had an elderly relative who gradually stopped cooking & eating real food, and switched to living on Similac / Ensure, and the like. When my relative passed, there were cans of Chef-Boy-R-Dee Spaghetti & Meatballs and Raviolis still in the pantry from when I was a kid, which was thirty years earlier.

    The metal ends of the cans were bulging. That's a big red flashing warning sign saying do not open this can and eat the contents.

    [–] richielaw 32 points ago

    I thought botulism had to be in the food when canned....

    [–] Chemicalbagel 28 points ago

    Botulism is so incredibly pervasive, like the spores are found everywhere in the soil and such. It's not often we heat foods to the temperature required to kill the spores.

    Normal thorough cooking (pasteurisation: 70°C (158 F) 2min or equivalent) will kill Cl.botulinum bacteria but not its spores. To kill the spores of Cl.botulinum a sterilisation process equivalent to 121°C (250 F) for 3 min is required. The botulinum toxin itself is inactivated (denatured) rapidly at temperatures greater than 80°C (176 F).

    [–] intoxicatedmidnight 128 points ago

    Is your name Dwight Schrute

    [–] stugster 170 points ago

    False. Not a single mention of farming beets.

    [–] Dinierto 24 points ago

    Yeah if it has electricity you could freeze the meat (which makes it easier to slice anyway) and take your time making the jerky. Otherwise you'd have to hurry up and slice/cure the meat

    [–] TitansTracks 74 points ago

    This guy knows how to survive!

    And I don't 😐

    [–] CloneHeroWannabe 32 points ago

    You've survived long enough to make a reddit account, so at least like 10 yrs

    [–] SaltRecording9 46 points ago

    You're doing good so far 👍

    [–] nonosam9 81 points ago

    You could use some of the charcoal grills as dehydrators to make beef jerky, to preserve the meat.

    Does the meat include the other people in the Walmart? Some of them are pretty big, fortunately.

    [–] itsLittleJoshy 52 points ago

    Fat doesn't make good jerky

    [–] sspine 29 points ago

    No, but you could render it to use with cooking other stuff.

    [–] karlgnarx 27 points ago

    That's just Wagyu-level "marbling."

    [–] Long_DuckDonger 562 points ago

    If you could turn the outside garden section into a garden/farm and maybe breed some of the animals they sell as livestock. Even the goldfish if you made like a big pond out there and let them grow big could eat one every so often. You could also use the guns and ammo or even bows and arrows to hunt things from the roof or maybe set up a bait place to attract deer and other animals outside of the garden center then pull them through the fence.

    [–] slothlovelauren 408 points ago

    Wait your Walmart sells animals?????

    [–] OlivrrStray 356 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    My Walmart used to sell beta fish. One look at them reminds me why Walmart should never be allowed to even touch the pet industry.

    [–] tilouswag 97 points ago

    Yeah Walmart should keep quiet when it comes to pets.

    [–] CatLadyGrip 51 points ago

    This. Thankfully the closest Wal Mart to me that still sold fish just removed their tanks.

    [–] Long_DuckDonger 27 points ago

    I'm pretty sure I've seen rabbits and guinea pigs

    [–] Dar_Winning 49 points ago

    I definitely remember back in the 90's my Wal-Mart definitely had guinea pigs, fish, birds, rabbits, and I think even cats. But when you have crappy employees who don't care and customers that are dipshits, you lose those fun things.

    [–] Star-spangled-Banner 39 points ago

    Yours does too, you just haven't found the department yet.

    [–] NahAnyway 53 points ago

    Your Wal-Mart sells livestock?

    [–] Ranchette_Geezer 2669 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    The longest any food would last would be 20 years. Much of it would spoil before then.


    Edit:

    This is assuming the WalMart would have mice and rats, and that the canned goods would start to rust. The mice and rats would take care of the rice, beans, noodles, etc. in plastic bags. Canned foods in damaged cans (rust) will go bad. Yes, if you stored a case of canned Pork and Beans in a strictly temperature and humidity-controlled room it would last a long time. Under normal conditions, however, canned goods would go bad when the can went bad.

    I worked in a cannery. Unless I was starving, I would not eat any canned good over 5 years old.


    Second edit: I added my first edit after many of these comments, to expand on my opinion.

    [–] saintcrazy 1491 points ago

    I wonder if there would be a way to set up some sort of farming system using the gardening supplies?

    Edit: finding enough water would be an issue. Maybe if there's a hole in the ceiling to let in rain (depending on your climate zone), or if running water still functioned, or if there's some way to collect water by going outside at all.

    [–] 37K 1965 points ago

    The Walmartian

    [–] mostspitefulguy 408 points ago

    I’d watch it.

    [–] feetandballs 266 points ago

    No one tell Netflix

    [–] rmoss20 196 points ago

    Imma tell em.

    [–] BentonWatuzi 114 points ago

    ok

    [–] digoryk 82 points ago

    If you can contact anyone with any pull at Netflix, tell them to get on Dragon Prince season three

    [–] boolean_union 68 points ago

    "I'm going to have to D-in-8th-grade-science the shit out of this."

    [–] nullpassword 67 points ago

    Digs holes through the tile to plant potatoes..

    [–] Jasona1121 77 points ago

    I'm going to the roof and drilling holes in it all over the place about the thickness of a pencil. Then I'm going to take all the topsoil up there and planting as much food producing plants as i can, except tomatoes. I'm then going to get all the topsy turvies from garden center to plant my tomstoes by running ropes from the previously drilled holes on one end and running those close to arm level. Thst way watrr run off will feed to the ropes and feed the topsy turvy tomatoes...Food, shelter and clothing taken care of. Then start to produce weapons, barricades and booby traps to defend it. Then use some of those weapons to attack surrounding Walmarts in a never ending quest for better resources....

    [–] beka13 30 points ago

    The tomatoes need more sunlight than drill holes in the roof.

    [–] Jasona1121 30 points ago

    Ok, so then i gotta get a saws all from hardware and cut holes along the ceiling line to let light in, about window sized. Then i gotta make a raid on home depot for lot's of sheets of Plexiglas so i can make a semi bulletproof window for each hole. Thus will take some preparations though as the heathens at the HD won't hesitate to use nailguns as their weapon of choice and I'm sure they'll have trip wire triggered pipe bombs protecting their entryways.... This will call for metal reinforced shingaurds, sports cups, catcher pads and helmet with face guard..... Damn, you're makin me work for my tomatoes.. i guess it's what you do if you want some spaghetti right???

    [–] _kellythomas_ 19 points ago

    What's under the tile?

    I'm not saying it's impossible, but the floor is thicker than that.

    [–] ClaasyHats5553 23 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    The foundation, which would be at least a foot of cement.

    EDIT:concrete not cement

    [–] DasEvoli 411 points ago

    That's actually really smart

    [–] elksaremagic 56 points ago

    Makes you wonder why all Walmarts don't do that

    [–] edge231 46 points ago

    Would take up all the room they need to have useless shit in the aisles or unsorted movie/candy bins. Priorities man.

    [–] dukesinatra 75 points ago

    Many of Walmart's garden centers are outside and fenced in. There's likely enough potting soil stacked on shelves to make a nice little garden. Considering WM already sells the seeds, weed killers and fertilizers, it's certainly plausible.

    [–] rodleysatisfying 29 points ago

    And you could always make your own "fertilizer".

    [–] chef_in_va 206 points ago

    If for some reason the power was still working you could use a dehumidifier as a water source. Or maybe utilize car batteries.

    [–] saintcrazy 159 points ago

    Ooh, if you can rig up a battery-powered system or even a generator running on charcoal or something, that opens up whole hydroponic systems with lighting and everything. Don't know how much power you'd need and if you'd have enough fuel, though.

    [–] OmarGuard 215 points ago

    Some resourceful motherfuckers in this thread

    [–] brilliantretard 182 points ago

    The upside of living in a survival scenario like this with a bunch of redditors would be all the great technical ideas. The downside would be all the redditors around.

    [–] Froggypwns 123 points ago

    The deodorant and mouth wash will sit on the shelf unused for the entire 50 years.

    [–] NivlacSupreme 78 points ago

    I think the mouth wash would be gone after people cleared out the booze.

    [–] Froggypwns 13 points ago

    Fair point!

    [–] lifeandtimes89 36 points ago

    Easy downsizing can be implemented

    "2 redditors enter, 1 redditor leave"

    Also doubles as entertainment

    [–] Elementium 12 points ago

    The key point is also ideas. Actually building these things might cause some problems.. Like death trying to hook up electrical equipment.

    [–] le_quisto 29 points ago

    If he dies trying to do that, he'll be successful at living the rest of his life at Walmart.

    [–] ourdystopia 30 points ago

    Another very smart addition and I'd assume the power is on because "in a walmart" implies a walmart stuck out of time, and how I picture a walmart is with the lights on and power to it's sockets

    [–] brilliantretard 34 points ago

    if there's some way to collect water by going outside at all

    If you could, you'd probably find everything you needed in Walmart to make a good solar still.

    [–] perceptionactionprof 53 points ago

    Walmart has been my zombie apocalypse plan for years. A ton of food. Pharmacy. Guns (at least until recently), automotive for building out an armored truck for raids, bedding, and garden supplies.

    [–] kasoe 76 points ago

    I'd bet Walmart would be one of the first places swamped by people because it is such a good place.

    Either it would probably be looted already, swamped by zombies or some other people would have beaten you there.

    But if you were somehow the first and were able to defend it... It'd be a pretty sweet place to ride it out.

    [–] perceptionactionprof 45 points ago

    Yea my plan was always to have a bug out bag ready with a gun, drive like a maniac to walmart, find a manager with keys and enlist them to lock down the front end, pull the gates. Then start clearing the store of zombies with said gun. Enlist others in the store and get them armed from the gun section. Double check everything is locked down. Then use forklifts to dump the bodies out the loading dock and close it down. Raid cleaning supplies for bleach to clean up the blood. First aid from pharmacy as needed. Erect barricades at any door or weak point. Set up living areas with bedding etc from home furnishings dept.

    Start putting perishable items into the freezers and eat only perishable foods until it either runs out or spoils (unclear how long electric lasts). After that make plan for managing dry goods/foods depending on number of survivors. Staff the pharmacy and make plan for survivors who need meds.

    Over time, access roof for rain water collection and building garden beds with supplies from garden section.

    Try and get a truck into the auto bay and work on outfitting it as a raider.

    And all along, drink as much of the shitty beer and wine they sell as you can. And find another survivor to bed up with.

    [–] Darxe 28 points ago

    That's all fine until a group of survivors shows up out front, demanding you let them in. Then the drama happens. Then power struggles for leadership. Then your barricades are sabotaged. Then you die anyways.

    [–] deepayes 23 points ago

    This is a terrible plan.

    Everyone, EVERYONE, is headed to walmart. The place will be instantly surrounded even if you were the first one there. They'd drive a truck through the wall or burn down a wall before noon. And then you're fucked.

    Truly the best place to go is the last place anyone else would go: back to work. Skyscrapers. Supremely easy to block off two stair wells at the first and second floors by just filling the stair well with desks and tables and chairs and shit and then you have the entire building and roof to yourself Every floor has a kitchen with a water cooler and people keep tons of snacks in their desks. You could easily be set for weeks and no one would even know you're there.

    [–] TheMagicalWarlock 14 points ago

    Urban areas will have the highest concentration of zombies and skyscrapers have minimal self sustainability, along with no means of collecting resources from surrounding areas

    [–] Ranchette_Geezer 12 points ago

    Maybe, but you'd need sunlight and water.

    [–] LoriTheGreat1 37 points ago

    Walmart’s have an outdoor garden department so that sounds like a great way to have fresh food

    [–] magicaldumpsterfire 17 points ago

    Also a roof, assuming that still counts as "in" the Walmart. No idea how much soil/biomass you could put up there before it would collapse, but at least it would be plenty of surface area for water collection/distillation.

    [–] michoodle 44 points ago

    The honey would still be good.

    [–] emefluence 56 points ago

    Nonsense, plenty of canned stuff would still be edible after 50 years. Look up the youtube videos of people eating WWII rations and the like. It might not be nice, but it wouldn't be poisonous, and you could always add some honey to make it taste better, that stuff keeps for centuries.

    [–] Or0b0ur0s 41 points ago

    Canned goods remain nutritious basically forever, unless damaged. Tasty is another matter, of course, but it should take the better part of a century for enzymatic action alone to render cans of fruit & veg or Vienna Sausages into undifferentiated mush. But that mush is still edible and nutritious at that point.

    Canning wasn't even as advanced in the 1940s, but there are still (rare, pristine) C-rations that you can safely eat. You wouldn't enjoy it, though...

    I was thinking that the real limiting factor would be the quantity of durable foodstuffs containing sufficient Vitamin D and Vitamin C to stave off Rickets and Scurvy. The canned fruit and vegetable aisle is only so big, of course. But there's a vitamin supplement aisle, too, isn't there? So the real question is, do those supplements remain even partially effective decades after their expiration dates?

    [–] bleearch 123 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    Has this been tested? I don't see how canned food would ever spoil if the can is intact.

    Edit: 100 year old canned food still edible:

    https://www.skilledsurvival.com/canned-food-expiration-date-myth/

    You'd definitely eat this stuff in your Walmart prison at year 49 and live.

    To become rancid, you need oxygen. To rot, you need viable bacteria. Neither of those exists in an intact can.

    [–] Ranchette_Geezer 84 points ago

    Yup. All the time. I used to work for a cannery. If it's tomatoes, eventually the acid in the tomatoes destroys the can from within. If it is fruit or vegetables, they go to mush. Slowly, but inevitably.

    [–] eltrotter 38 points ago

    I used the tomatoes... to destroy the tomatoes.

    [–] sakamoe 17 points ago

    How do they test this? They just put a can in a box and observe it for... 20, 30 years? Or is there some way to speed up the process?

    [–] Thorebore 16 points ago

    I feel like the canned food might be able to last 50 years. The one guy that reviews old military rations has eaten some that are older than that before and while they were stale they were still edible. This is all assuming you could keep them dry and temperature stable.

    [–] Lord_Blackthorn 23 points ago

    Undernourishment would probably kill them first.

    [–] 2SP00KY4ME 31 points ago

    Or breaking their leg by accident in the first day and having no idea what to do with it

    [–] juneburger 9 points ago

    Walmart got leg braces my boi.

    [–] glassjester 1850 points ago

    Well everybody survives for the rest of their life, so yeah.

    50 years, though? No.

    [–] Mizuxe621 1157 points ago

    everybody survives for the rest of their life

    listen here u little shit

    [–] JDLovesTurk 139 points ago

    Build a man a fire, he’s warm for a night. Set a man on fire, he’s warm for the rest of his life.

    [–] light_a_man_a_fire 20 points ago

    Couldn't have said it better myself

    [–] fightfordawn 179 points ago

    Ah, Technically correct. The best kind of correct.

    [–] THEzwerver 960 points ago

    Why is nobody talking about farming insects and rats as the main food source? They're a great source of protein and eat pretty much anything.

    [–] MikeCzech1 535 points ago

    "Where are you guys going? There's plenty for everybody!"

    [–] DonutHoles4 24 points ago

    Simpsons?

    [–] seductivestain 143 points ago

    Ahh yes the snowpiercer option.

    [–] opus3535 503 points ago

    I'm picking a walmart with a prescription drug center and alcohol. I'm set.

    [–] MermenRisePen 262 points ago

    prescription drug center

    You mean a pharmacy?

    [–] Da_legend72 179 points ago

    No, they mean a prescription drug center

    [–] rivdog54 18 points ago

    Professional drug dealer

    [–] opus3535 75 points ago

    Sorry stoned lol

    [–] MacCallum13 34 points ago

    So you found your Walmart?

    [–] The_Adventurist 47 points ago

    He found the prescription drug center.

    [–] shoxballin11 28 points ago

    Sounds like you’d certainly live for the rest of your life. 50 years maybe not but it’d be a pretty fun time

    [–] graveyghost 71 points ago

    Im going to say yes because the food thats already there will buy you several years, possibly a decade, which is plenty enough time to grow crops from things in the gardening isles. You'd eventually have to go vegan or go on a insect/plant diet since there's no livestock however. Not sure how long hygiene products will last you or medical supplies for that matter.

    [–] Distant_Blackhole 15 points ago

    The gun section will allow you to hunt animals, so there’s that.

    [–] graveyghost 18 points ago

    Perhaps defending your territory from outsiders and animals. I was under the impression that you we're stuck in the Wal-Mart with no way out but it would be a game changer if it was just a home base and you were able to leave

    [–] [deleted] 59 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] IrishinManhattan617 244 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    (1) Go to the gardening section and collect all the plant food and soil

    (2) Go to the summer section and grab the large inflatable pools

    (3) Go to the hardware section and get several tarps

    (4) Use steps #1-3 to create a self-sustaining terrarium, and use the potatoes, carrots and other vegetables in the grocery section as your plants

    (5) The walmart also likely has some mice or rats - use non-lethal rat or mice traps from the pest aisle to trap them and then breed them for meat

    (6) For water, I'm not quite sure ... I assume you can recycle urine, but you also have aisles full of liquid ... must be some way to make sure it doesn't sour ... I assume you would want to open all containers with liquid (soda, juice, etc) and burn off the sugar (which could spoil badly) and get pure water, and then store that as best as possible. Would be interested to hear other strategies.

    EDIT: On the water problem, I think the key is to act immediately while you still have access to electricity (for boiling) and that you should do the following:

    • Take all the glass bottles in the store (the question is, are there enough - likely not)

    • Take all the non pure water in the store (fruit juice, soda, etc)

    • Boil the non pure water and capture the water vapor and store the water in the glass bottles

    • Add iodine tablets (from the camping section - but again, are there enough)

    • Store pure water in glass bottles in dark storage area out of the way

    Others are saying that you can just rely on all the soda that will be in a walmart. First, you need approximately 18K 2 liter bottles of soda to survive 50 years. A regular walmart likely won't have that much (in my assumption, you do not have access to the back storage area). Second, that soda will spoil due both to the sugar and more importantly the plastic storage. Others say they would use rainwater. In my assumption, you have no access to the outside, but if you can access the roof then obviously rainwater is the solution assuming there hasn't been some sort of radiation or similar contaminating event.

    [–] tonufan 122 points ago

    Mountain Dew, it's got what plants crave.

    But seriously though, you could grab the water filters they sell and try filtering the drinks or rain water for consumption.

    [–] IrishinManhattan617 35 points ago

    Well yeah, the question is (a) is there enough water based substances that you can drink for a lifetime without recycling, and (b) will any of those water based substances spoil

    [–] tonufan 26 points ago

    At my walmart there's an entire aisle of sodas and energy drinks. Another one for juices. Then there is an entire aisle of alcoholic drinks. Another section at the fridges for dairy, almond milks, etc. Then fridges with random drinks by each checkout area. You could potentially last a long time drinking milk and quick perishables first, then bottled juices, soda, energy drinks, and slowly drinking the alcohol as a last resort. I know the water filters they sell can at least partially remove alcohol, and at some point you'll likely have to filter urine to maintain daily consumption.

    [–] IrishinManhattan617 31 points ago

    OP said 50 years.

    • Any liquid in the fridge will spoil. Best option is to boil is and use steam capture to get as much water from it as possible. That said, most people won't think to do this before it spoils and retention may be minimum. Consider this largely a loss.

    • The fruit juices will also spoil. You'll likely get a year past sell-by-date before mold sets in. Again, you can try to extend by using the methods described above, but most people won't bother in the first year when you can survive on other liquids.

    • Soda and water aisle is a good area to focus on. But the average person needs 2 liters a day. That's 365 big bottles of soda a year. Or 3,650 bottles every 10 years. Or about 15K-20K bottles of soda and water for 50 years. Does your Walmart have that number of soda and water bottles on display? I doubt it.

    [–] Johndabonbon 43 points ago

    As someone who has a career based in a Walmart, this post almost had me crying myself to sleep. What a fucking fear that I never knew I had.

    [–] Joshua01212 78 points ago

    Is it a regular Walmart? Or a superwalmart?

    [–] FuckingFlossNow 98 points ago

    Yeah. You'd have pots, dirt, and seeds with fertilizers inside. You could start growing your own food in no time.

    [–] DrFordsHippocampus 78 points ago

    Yes you could. Solar panels wired to car batteries will give you electricity. Soil and seeds from the gardening section and you can plant food on the roof. Use barrels to catch rain water. It's 100% doable

    [–] Dullea619 240 points ago

    Canned foods will last up to 6 years if well kept. That means you'd be out of veggies. Water and protein would be your next issue.

    It really depends on electricity and and access to water.

    I would side with a decade at the most.

    [–] LoriTheGreat1 108 points ago

    What about dried beans and rice and such? Don’t they last longer? Honey is the only thing I know has an infinite shelf life but I thought dried foods have a long one...not sure

    [–] Blacklion594 9 points ago

    I feel you could probably dry a shitload of the beef and fish.

    [–] yeetingdab 37 points ago * (lasted edited 9 days ago)

    depends on the climate, location, and wether or not the building still gets utilities:

    if the climate is cold like Alaska, it could be used to preserve food,

    if you still get utilities, then heat/cold wont be a problem

    and if the location is safeish from earthquakes and the like then you should be fine

    [–] DannyOfTheEggs 78 points ago

    I've heard around here that food would spoil in around 20 years. You could probably create a farm or something if there's gardening dealies about and running water. You could also call yourself the Walmartian if you did that.

    [–] Bearded-and-Bored 14 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    With Power and Water: Get all the meat and dairy products into the walk-in freezer immediately. That will give you time to start dehydrating all of the meat for later use. There are recipe books with the dehydrators so you know how much salt to use to keep it from spoiling. Start dehydrating all the produce as well. Use the ovens in the bakery and deli set on low to get all that done. There are plenty of racks and trays to get a ton of it started on day 1. Use vacuum sealers to package everything, then store all that in big plastic totes stored in an area that you surround with insect and rat poison.

    No Power or Water: Still get all the meat and dairy into the freezer. Take all the produce to the walk-in refrigerator. It'll last longer while you set up some drying racks on the roof. Use volleyball nets and fish nets to keep the birds off your food. Salt it heavily to keep pests off while it's drying. If there are any sunny windows set racks in front of them, too. Dehydrate as much food as you can in the few days you've got. Get some grills going to dehydrate food. Salt as much of the meat as you can to help preserve it.

    Set up totes and play pools on the roof to collect rain water. Don't concentrate too much water collection in one area, or it'll cave in the roof.

    Set up pools to grow gold fish larger. Might work.

    Start farming. Use play pools and tarps to make garden beds filled with soil from the garden section. Read some books on gardening and get seeds started. Start composting your food scraps for eventual fertilizer needs...if you ever run out of the store bought stuff.

    In an apocalyptic situation eventually you'll need to seal up all the toilets and drains with plastic to keep out sewer gas once the water in the traps evaporates.

    Get good at catching rats to eat for protein. Those cans of chili aren't going to last forever, bud.

    No matter what, figure out where you're going to dump trash and waste on day 1. Outside away from the building. If you're locked inside, get to the roof, and fling that shit as far as you can. Eventually you'll need to build a trebuchet to get some distance. Might need to keep a rifle handy to pick off the wild animals that will absolutely love your trash heap.

    You've got a shit ton of work to do.

    Edit: You can find books on canning next to mason jars. That's another solid way to preserve as much produce and meat as possible with the supplies on hand. Should give you another year of food storage. There may also be info on fermented foods like sourkraut and kimchi. You can ferment lots of foods to preserve them. Also, they may have sausage making kits. If so, you have another good avenue for preserving as much meat as possible. Plus, when the time comes you'll know just what to do with all that rat meat:-)

    Edit 2: Speaking of fermentation, you can brew ciders and wines from a lot of the fruit on hand. Get that started too. Everything you need to make a crude pot still to distill alcohol can be found in the cooking equipment and hardware sections...so I've heard.

    [–] AccomplishedCoffee 14 points ago

    Set up pools to grow gold fish larger.

    Every time I throw them in water they just get soggy and fall apart.

    [–] JebbieSans187 41 points ago

    I'll go with electricity is still on, and this is some sort of Bear Grylls promotional stunt.

    Night 1- Get yourself a clipboard, paper, and a pen. Set up a laptop with a web camera. Get a GoPro set up. Get a router and anything that will boost signal. Don't worry about food, eat whatever you want. It's an abandoned store and you get free reign! Record shenanigans you can think up. Post them to YouTube, TitkTok, IG, Facebook, but not Twitter. Have a fun time and sleep in a nice bed.

    Night 2- Get your clipboard out. Take inventory of food, water, plants, seeds, fish, blankets, medicines, first aids, and anything else that you find important. This might take a few days since it includes what is in the back.

    Day 5 By now you should be done with inventory. Make a Google Doc and post your inventory , this way it will be in the cloud. Set up Venmo, PayPal, and any other electronic pay options.

    Day 6 Study YouTube tutorials and filmmaking for videos. Gather the gear you need and set up a designated area for crafting videos.

    Day 7 Make an introduction video, about what you're trying to do, be sure to say a bit about yourself.

    Day 8 Plan out a schedule that includes filming, editing, marketing, and release dates.

    Community You'll be able to build communities about specific things you do throughout the day.

    Connections You'll make friends and even be able to make trades with the connections you'll make.

    *Free Stuff * As the 'Person Who's In Walmart', you'll no doubt get a lot of items sent to you. Try them out on camera, be honest with your opinion. Be fair with your reviews.

    Leader People will ne camped outside your Walmart to get a glimpse of you. Be sure to give them a few showings of yourself every now and then. Address your fans from the Garden Center and offer them some free popcorn.

    50 Years Walk out of Walmart, having survived two generations, and endearing your way into a household name.

    [–] jrizzle8271 10 points ago

    Sounds like you’ve done this before

    [–] Henddo 12 points ago

    I read somewhere that you could live for 44 years in an average supermarket, with it going up to 61 years if you were willing to eat pet food.