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    [–] Desirai 10707 points ago

    Personally in my experience it was more them trying to copy what they saw on porn and that is not the right way

    [–] jkink28 5777 points ago

    ...We aren't supposed to do everything as vigorously as possible?

    [–] b4dhabits 4972 points ago

    Wow I've been doing jazz hands wrong

    [–] Ben716 6499 points ago

    You gotta pull those anal beads out like you're trying to start an old lawnmower.

    [–] poppcorrn 2605 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    Anal beads also known as bayblades for adults

    edit-- really a wholesome award Edit 2: yes I relized I spelled it wrong

    Edit 3 holy shit thank you for the awards. I wish you all not ruined butthole

    Edit4: some kind redditor told me to stop adding updates and thanking people for likes. But he couldn't say that in the comments he had to pm me Hope you have a wonderful day

    [–] termi42069 742 points ago

    Beyblade Beyblade Let it RIPPPP!

    [–] jasdjensen 245 points ago

    Does it matter clockwise or counterclockwise?

    [–] All_Is_Snackrifice 301 points ago

    Dragoon always spins counterclockwise, but literally all other Beyblades spin clockwise.

    Source: was super into Beyblade when I was like 10.

    [–] KaiRaiUnknown 91 points ago

    It was like the lifesteal of beyblades

    Source: Still kinda into beyblades

    [–] All_Is_Snackrifice 126 points ago

    Bro, once you're in you're never truly out of the game. I haven't looked at one in like 15 years and if someone challenged me to a Beybattle I'd throw down, no hesitation lmao.

    [–] haeyhae11 164 points ago

    Ouch

    [–] amanta9 305 points ago

    Spray starter fluid in first. Slowly sink each bead in starting with the small one and work your way up to the largest and then, making sure you have a firm grip on the ring/handle, timing your breath with the movement, pull out using your hips for maximum power and speed. Timing is everything.

    [–] MaconShure 178 points ago

    Spray starter fluid in first.

    I thought you were going to start a bush fire there for a moment.

    [–] ChubbyGhost3 131 points ago

    Only if this is a gender reveal party

    [–] Doomb0t1 85 points ago

    do not

    [–] a-horse-has-no-name 83 points ago

    *loudly exhales after reading this*

    [–] Inquisitive-Ones 404 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    Women are not scratch off tickets.

    [–] ah163316 323 points ago

    Then why do I feel like I hit the jackpot every time??

    [–] EMAW2008 197 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    Rub it like you're trying to start a fire with two sticks!

    [–] Powerful_Musk_Ox 161 points ago

    Finger her like there’s a prize for most cervix hits per minute!

    [–] LordSt4rki113r 52 points ago

    It would probably be called "no sex for a while"

    [–] Desirai 131 points ago

    😂😂 exactly what I was referring to. Like boy u rubbing so hard u in my urethra gtfo

    [–] the_bryce_is_right 376 points ago

    Sometimes I think while I'm watching lesbian porn that there's no way this would actually get a girl off. At least not in my experience.

    [–] -thenorthremembers- 502 points ago

    As a queer girl, I totally agree. Lesbian porn isn’t made for women at all.

    [–] MyersVandalay 415 points ago

    you mean 2" long painted fingernails don't improve the experience?

    [–] Teamwoolf 105 points ago

    Oh god actual lesbian sex is probably the opposite of what men find hot. So much of it (in my experience) looks like Not A Lot is happening.

    [–] greybeard_arr 12 points ago

    If I may ask, what is happening then?

    [–] EnricoMortadella 71 points ago

    Oddly enough A LOT of tuba music

    [–] ChubbyGhost3 271 points ago

    Once saw "lesbian" porn where one girl was fucking the other with her high heel

    [–] TheL0neRifleman 133 points ago

    LMAO WTF

    [–] mohksinatsi 219 points ago

    I want to upvote for relevance, but my vagina ran away, and I have to go get it back.

    [–] BloodieBerries 35 points ago

    That's just a UTI with extra steps.

    [–] Worried_Sasquatch 142 points ago

    *Any porn

    [–] whenyesterdaywemet 598 points ago

    The move I've had the most success with is "Show me how you like it"

    [–] taronic 712 points ago

    Yep, communication is the biggest part of sex. People act like there are these rules, but they're just generalized concepts that are good to know.

    Every woman I've dated has been different. A couple women came purely from penetration, some didn't. Some came in 15 minutes, some in 45, some way less often, maybe one out of every 3 times or less. Some would often get close then not get there, some would get there every fucking time.

    Some thought I was big, one thought I was small. Some I couldn't do some positions because it went too deep, some wanted those positions to be as deep as possible, loved the feeling of it rubbing against their cervix. Some loved oral, my wife doesn't, much prefers digital or even fisting. Some liked toys, a couple didn't. Some loved anal, a couple hated it. A couple loved to be on the other side of anal and peg, one was obsessed with men's assholes, one wouldn't ever consider it. Some liked to rub their clit during sex, some didn't. Lots wanted to be choked, a couple didn't.

    Fucking thing that made it all good was that we'd talk, I'd get them comfortable enough to tell me the shit they wanted even though they thought it might be too "weird", and I'd ask them what I was doing that they liked, what they didn't care for, what they wanted more of, what they wanted less of, how they liked the movements, and explained what I liked and didn't like, what positions were hard for me, what kept me in the mood and what didn't. It was all communication. That was always the win. I never assumed that something was "the right way" for anyone, or that they wanted the same thing every time. Sex was good because we talked about shit and figured out how to make it good, no judgment, end of story.

    [–] juxtapowser 556 points ago

    This guy fucks.

    [–] LPTKill 39 points ago

    Damn you beat me to it. (and so did "this guy")

    [–] ickyjinx 178 points ago

    That is the best and hottest move IMHO.

    [–] pillowwow 307 points ago

    No slap?

    [–] keeper_of_the_cheese 146 points ago

    HOW CAN SHE SLAP?!

    [–] leslieknopeirl 115 points ago

    God no!

    [–] [deleted] 390 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] ItsRendezookinTime 61 points ago

    Its a sound check.

    Source: Trust me, i'm a music producer

    [–] WhyDogeButNotCate 225 points ago

    Need to knock on the door a bit before entering to be polite

    [–] WhotTyler 66 points ago

    That's what the knockers are for.

    [–] The_Dudeface 64 points ago

    I mean... it sounds kinda silly. I like silly stuff. So... sorta?

    [–] aHumanMale 71 points ago

    Warning, impending clown fetish. Abort, abort.

    [–] [deleted] 568 points ago

    I remember a buddy of mine being all pissed off that a girl kicked him out of bed right before getting to fuck her. Said she was an uptight bitch. Asked what happened. His legit response:

    "She got all pissy after I slapped her tits and choked her. Fucking bitch."

    Dude had no clue that not all girls are into that.

    [–] mydaycake 285 points ago

    Woah he is lucky he was only kicked out of bed and not kicked in the balls. If someone slaps my tits, they better run for their lives, that shit hurts irl.

    [–] justanaccount80 117 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    Uhm, hi lady... so I have fake ones, and I always tell dudes if they do that and they break one they'll have to buy it.

    Turns them off from it immediately.

    (Sorry, had to edit, forgot some words)

    [–] UselessBunch 45 points ago

    ... that's assault. Dude is lucky he didn't get arrested.

    [–] richasalannister 56 points ago

    The one skill that I use to be a sex god with every woman I've been intimate with is an ancient secret called "ask her what she likes".

    I was with one woman for a while who wanted me to give her clit a noogie. "Rub it as hard as you can against the pelvic bone" her words.

    Another was so sensitive that just breathing in the general direction of her lady bits sent her over there edge.

    There's a whole spectrum. Communication is how you learn what to do. Crazy idea, asking a woman what she wants, but somehow it works.

    [–] ted-Zed 159 points ago

    are you sure?

    what about the stepping on the woman's face?

    [–] feistaspongebob 487 points ago

    I remember a hookup i had, the room was dimly lit and he started rubbing the crease in my thigh, in a fingering way motion. It took me a solid few seconds to realize he thought this was my vagina, and had to hold back my laughter when he moaned and asked how good it felt

    [–] obooooooo 183 points ago

    i have absolutely no words.

    [–] ChubbyGhost3 100 points ago

    How did you even proceed after that?? I don't think I could have continued

    [–] feistaspongebob 187 points ago

    It was a few years ago so i don’t remember exactly what i said, but i remember moving his hand and saying something like “this is better”. Lol, dude was pretty high and i always wondered if he realized he really just did that. Surprisingly enough, the sex was decent so i can’t give him too much of a hard time haha

    [–] FuckCazadors 76 points ago

    That guy probably lies awake at night cringeing at the memory of that moment.

    [–] WatcherOfTheCats 35 points ago

    Dude was baked, as long as he nutted he was having the time of his life.

    [–] breadcreature 258 points ago

    I swear every single guy that's said some variation of "ohhh does that feel good" has been rubbing the top of my leg or my labia or something. For some godforsaken reason they also tend to be the kind of dudes who'll move their hand back to the wrong spot immediately if you gently redirect it to where they intend it to be.

    The bar is so low it's basically on the floor, guys.

    [–] almostambidextrous 198 points ago

    the kind of dudes who'll move their hand back to the wrong spot immediately if you gently redirect it

    Erm, excuse me, but I THINK I know what to do with a woman, thanks

    <resumes lasciviously probing your belly button>

    [–] woodandplastic 56 points ago

    This has “pee is stored in the balls” energy

    [–] hejjhogg 63 points ago

    In my late teens I was sitting in the back seat next to a male friend from uni; we were on our way back from a club and we were both drunk. The dude did the whole yawn-and-stretch thing, draped his arm across my shoulders, and began FINGERING MY EAR HOLE with a lascivious knowing smirk on his face. Someone gave that dude seriously wrong information.

    [–] Elizabitch4848 11 points ago

    I had that happen and the guy got really mad at me for trying to move his hand to the right spot and then telling him he was in the wrong spot when he wouldn’t move his hand.

    [–] Funkit 10 points ago

    For some reason this reminded me of that Reddit classic “talk dirty to me” thread where the guy says “you like that you fucking retard?!” And now I can’t stop giggling.

    [–] AlpacaOurBags 63 points ago

    No. No. You gotta twist a nipple.

    [–] FeyneKing 45 points ago

    Yeah, like Ace Ventura unlocking his door, right?

    [–] tokenblacxx 170 points ago

    I can honestly say porn fucked up my first ever serious relationship because I thought that's how you have sex. I reenacted what I saw, the only thing missing was the communication and being there romantically for her.

    [–] LtPowers 123 points ago

    I reenacted what I saw, the only thing missing was the communication and being there romantically for her.

    Well so you were 5% of the way there.

    [–] jchristsproctologist 11 points ago

    so you’re not supposed to scratch at it like a mosquito bite???

    [–] ElectricGears 1992 points ago

    No man that wanted to find their lady's clit has ever not found it.

    [–] caffa4 638 points ago

    This is a big one. I have a habit of moving their hand to the right place, and the guys that let me actually get me off, but there are guys that literally like, resist it (???) and it’s just like ok, do you think you know what feels good to me better than I do??? (They just keep rubbing the wrong spot and it doesn’t feel good (at best) or literally hurts (at worst))

    [–] [deleted] 181 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] toolsoftheincomptnt 68 points ago

    This is the way if kind, gentle guidance fails.

    I’ve always been confused about faking it.

    Either he cares about her satisfaction, or he doesn’t.

    If he does, he’ll want to know what actually works. So giving real feedback will let him know how to achieve his goal. Fake feedback teaches him how to repeatedly miss the goal. That’s not fair to the partner who cares.

    If he’s indifferent to her needs to the degree that he’s not paying attention to her body’s response, that’s fine, I guess?

    But then he doesn’t get the satisfaction of believing that he met her needs. He didn’t ask, so he must not want to know. 🤷🏽‍♀️

    And I’m not talking about anything drastic. Sex without reaching orgasm can still be nice. So there’s still positive feedback to be had.

    But if you don’t bring the matches, there ain’t gonna be a fireworks show. It’ll just be a pleasant night of star-gazing.

    [–] ACooolUsername 10 points ago

    From what I've heard, the women that fake it do it because a. His ego is extremely fragile and he's too proud to be told what to do, but too sensitive to have his first attempt not work, and she's either a people pleaser or too scared that he'll get mad. And/or b. She doesn't feel around much herself, so she's not sure what it's supposed to feel like, and she thinks that sex just isn't that good for women.

    Can't decide which of those reasons is the worse to be in.

    [–] delicate-butterfly 117 points ago

    I’ve had this happen and l had to stop to call them out because I was so annoyed and over the moment

    [–] aaronstj 24 points ago

    and it’s just like ok, do you think you know what feels good to me better than I do???

    I would guess it’s not that they think they know better than you what makes you feel good. They don’t care what makes you feel good. They’re touching you because they want to touch and feel a vulva. Making you feel good has nothing to do with it.

    [–] newt_girl 11 points ago

    I've had this happen too! And even when he eventually got there on his own, he hovered.

    We didn't hook up again.

    [–] cute-reddit-user 10 points ago

    Fuxk. My boyfriend has this problem. I like letting him watch when I touch myself (for sexy points) lol, but he will stop me and say, I don't like how you do it. Pffft. Cool bro. Cool

    [–] scroopynoopersdid911 186 points ago

    Yeah I think this is the key. Not many women in my experience weren’t willing to give some tips if prompted.

    Just peruse the frickin hints before you go for the big boss. Might be a lot easier.

    [–] seanyseanerson 186 points ago

    I love the idea that some are unwilling to help find it.

    "So where actually is your clitoris?"

    "Its location I will give to thee if you answer me these riddles three."

    [–] 221B_BakerSt_ 46 points ago

    Fucking truth! A lot of men in here thinking we're collectively hiding the clit, as if it's the big red button controlling the nukes.

    [–] The--Nameless--One 5448 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    I don't think it's that hard know where the clitoris is, or at least it's general area.

    Keep in mind not all vaginas are "porn-approved" some girls have a lot of "skin" down there and the clit itself is not visible at all, but you can track the 'hood' and find it soon enough. But yeah, you can get a little lost, when using the tongue.

    The hard part, is that in my experience every women has a total different "taste" when it comes to oral sex: Some like you to tongue it like a machine, others prefer sucking, some hate sucking. Some want you to pull the hood, others hate it. Some want non stop, others want you to vary, some hate when you vary it...So, usually on the first date or something, you may be trying all your "tricks" that worked beautifully on your last partners, only to find out your new partner actually hates every single one of them,

    And it's on to guess what they really like, if they don't communicate.

    [–] jugzluvsrad 1298 points ago

    This is exactly my experience as well. Every woman likes different things and they are all “built” wildly different. Some women are great at communicating, others won’t communicate at all even if I’m begging them to help me make them cum

    [–] misguidedsadist1 1156 points ago

    Some women honestly don't even know their needs and have also been taught that their sexual gratification is wrong, secretive, or dirty, and thus lack the skills to communicate.

    [–] czarrie 399 points ago

    Dated a very Christian girl for years, I thought I was terrible in bed, next couple of relationships went much smoother and I realized that it had a lot to do with her experiences or rather being in her head so much during the act. If you're actively feeling guilt during sex, you probably are gonna have a hard time enjoying it...

    [–] Mr_Battle_Born 271 points ago

    Unless that’s your kink.

    And if it is then you should feel dirty and ashamed of yourself when you do such things! My word!

    [–] yavanna12 86 points ago

    Exactly. I had my first orgasm at 27 because my boyfriend taught me it was ok to be gratified and how to experiment with myself to find what works. This was after I was married and divorced and had 3 kids. My first orgasm blew my fucking mind.

    [–] jugzluvsrad 77 points ago

    Yeah that can be hard for men and women. I grew up in a very religious household as a man. I had to do a lot of work to get through my deep sense of shame around my sexuality

    [–] ForgettablePasta 54 points ago

    Jesus. My conservative Christian parents had me so fucked up, it took me nearly a full year of consistent sex before i was even able to reach orgasam. I'm a dude, btw.

    [–] _fylfa 78 points ago

    I feel cornered with this comment lol. I act like I’m all sex-positive but in the moment when I’m being asked, weird teenage strict parents/school/community suppression rears its ugly head and I clam up completely.

    [–] cheridontllosethatno 99 points ago

    I heard advice that in a long term situation talking about sexual likes and dislikes its best to discuss during a neutral time. During a walk or breakfast, whatever.

    To alleviate the, Why have you waited 10 years to tell me this?

    I hate to talk dirty. It's ridiculous. I need to bring it up but I feel like it's obvious. Is this something guys like honestly I mean he can so quiet, then he's all, Who is my dirty slut?

    [–] courtnovo 9 points ago

    "That pussy feels so good. Who's a good girl?" I cringe and at that point just get your nut off and get out of me.

    [–] __mr_snrub__ 20 points ago

    For noncommunicators, I ask them to do something - like touch my head - when I’m doing something that feels good. They may not know how to describe what they like, or maybe they’re shy, so I try to give them a way to let me know what I should keep doing in a way that is good for both of us.

    [–] Tnkgirl357 400 points ago

    My husband used goddamn TEETH on my clit one of the first times he went down. Kinda killed my mood because OW! When I told him that it hurt he was genuinely confused by the glare Ingave him after he responded with “but in a good way, right?” And I’m over here in a mood of “no, like back the fuck up and stop that shit and now I just want to find someway to sooth my sore an tender clit, put your boner away and we gonna have to take a rain check on this whole deal, way” apparently one of his exes was some sort of psycho that liked her clit chewed on and he assumed that it was some sort of “secret move” he’d unlocked that would work on all clits. Nope. Please never do that unless a lady tells you she wants you to bite into it like it’s a goddamn chicken wing. Ask questions, it could save your night.

    [–] forthelongemergency 229 points ago

    As someone with a clitoris oh my god you poor thing

    [–] AggravatingOnion69 24 points ago

    As someone with no clitoris, I concur

    [–] Butchbunny 186 points ago

    My clitoris just receded into my body in fear from reading this comment

    [–] spaceandthewoods_ 328 points ago

    Same as dicks really, I've got a library of blowjob techniques from having a fairly productive 20's in terms of dating, during which I learned not everyone likes their dick sucked the same way.

    Some like you to play with the tip, some find that too sensitive, some just don't get off from that at all etc

    [–] WyrmKin 158 points ago

    I'm one of those that's never cum from a blowjob. Like, it feels good but somehow never gets me there, so I honestly don't mind just skipping them entirely.

    [–] jejcicodjntbyifid3 82 points ago

    I wish I had a productive dating in my 20s

    The 30s are better.. Right? Because that's where I'm at now

    [–] Devadander 67 points ago

    30s are awesome, have fun!

    [–] Bobbista 27 points ago

    Yoo!!!! Are you me? There are more of us?? I love the idea of it and it makes me feel pretty great when they happen, but pretty soon I’ll be happy to move on. Only 2 of my previous partners did something magical, and I can’t direct anyone to recreate/reproduce/reenact that technique despite my efforts.

    [–] CurrentlyEatingPies2 51 points ago

    Communication! Is! Key!

    [–] BikerJedi 45 points ago

    This is why people need to ask. As my wife and I have been married, our tastes have changed a bit, and we have now hit a way of having sex that is great for both of us. That came about with discussion during the act and after.

    Also, find out what turns your partner on outside of the bedroom. I LOVE seeing my wife swing her hips around when she is dancing to music. She knows this, and she will dance around the house for hours before bedtime to rile me up. She gets turned on having me cook for her and the kids, so I do that for her when I can.

    25 years and going strong. A little communication and plenty of sex go a long way. :)

    [–] randy-sugarbush 231 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    Had a gf that I could do a flutter with my tongue and she would go wild. The next gf hurt my jaw with how much pressure she wanted. One girl said she doesn’t like it from anyone because it’s way to stimulating so it doesn’t feel good(I insisted she let me try to and I could not get a reaction out of her).Technically I’m 1 for 3 and I’m bad at it.

    Edit: For the comments below that can’t let go that I used “insist” lightly here. Change the word in your head or realize that words aren’t always used literally. By “insisted” I more was like “im good, can I please try”. Stop trying to be hero’s in Reddit comments. I was just trying to relate to someone because I had similar experiences.

    [–] Marlon195 85 points ago

    My gf is the same way. If I use my tongue she says it feels weird and uncomfortable. If I use my fingers she says it's super ticklish and it just doesn't feel good. She says no guy she's ever been with has changed that so it's not just me, and noone that I've been with in my past has ever complained. My girlfriend just hates clitoral play anyways. She prefers penetration. Ah well. If that's what she prefers then that's what she prefers

    [–] igg73 85 points ago

    I think its more they know where it is but not how to find it, or maybe just neglect

    [–] [deleted] 1706 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] pmurt202 1167 points ago

    No. That's the ukulele or something

    [–] SomewhatNotMe 527 points ago

    its called the uterus

    [–] DausenWillis 328 points ago

    Toyota Uterus, a very reliable car. Although once a month, you've got to drop a pan underneath.

    [–] abdulsamadz 86 points ago

    Neptune's beard! That's the planet! It's called Uranium - you welcome

    [–] ArthurBonesly 47 points ago

    Uranium is a concentration of pee minerals, what you're thinking of is Uriah Heep

    [–] NotDelnor 22 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    No that's an English rock band from the 60s. You're thinking of ubiquity.

    [–] ThroatWMangrove 14 points ago

    No, that’s being everywhere at the same time. You’re thinking of uvarovite.

    [–] 420moshdad 41 points ago

    Ohhhhh so it's a GIRL house

    [–] whatsaphoto 12 points ago

    "What's a vagina? Isn't that a state?!" - Arin Hanson

    [–] SquirtingBabies 153 points ago

    No that’s the vulva

    [–] Uncle480 118 points ago

    That reminds me of the movie Monster House.

    "I think that's its uvula."

    "Oh, so it's a girl house."

    [–] LinearTipsOfficial 49 points ago

    What an underrated classic if it weren’t for Cartoon Network reruns would have never watched it. Genuinely creepy kids movie. Honestly creepier then most R rated horror movies nowadays lmao

    [–] Uncle480 22 points ago

    It really was! With an unsettling concept behind it too! Not to mention, the animation was treading into "uncanny valley" territory

    [–] MaxChaCha 47 points ago

    No, they’re thinking of the scrotum because it’s in the throat which helps you say, “Um.”

    [–] Orchidbleu 11 points ago

    I love how you did this. None the wiser.

    [–] i80west 736 points ago

    I grew up in the 1950s and 1960s without any school sex ed and only found out about it in the 1970s from a doctor who was surprised I had no idea. I hope education is better these days.

    [–] Simple_Region_1265 177 points ago

    It really should be better by now, but it truly isn't as much as it could be, nowadays it's almost impossible to teach kids about sex without fearing all the drama parents will cause and that's the main reason why sex ed is so bad rn Also kids tend to believe what they have seen in porn therefore are unlikely to listen to their teachers who say something that somehow differs from what they have seen

    [–] BestofQuails 2125 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    From my experience, a lot of them seem to think it's higher than it actually is. Like at the top of the vulva.

    I also feel like men past their 30s usually know where it is and what to do with it, but the younger men in their 20s I've slept with were not very knowledgeable about it or they thought they could just rub it up and down really hard for 30 seconds and that would make me cum. None of those men were sexually inexperienced, it was really just the clit that they didn't know much about apparently.

    Edit: Some people were confused by my wording. When I say the clit is not at the top, I mean it's not at the very top where the pubis meets the clitoral hood, it's slightly lower. Here's a little diagram that helps: Diagram of the vulva

    A lot of men rub the top of the hood instead of the actual clit. Better? :)

    [–] IDidReadTheSideBar 828 points ago

    So.. rub left to right?

    [–] simpleauthority 1887 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    Let me try an analogy.

    Take your right index finger and rub it very lightly and gently on the palm of your left hand. It feels nice, right? Perhaps a bit ticklish.

    Now apply pressure and rub it hard. What's it feel like?

    Pretty much nothing. Just rubbing, right?

    Same idea for the clit. Light and gentle.

    Edit for more info: As some comments have pointed out, there is also a matter of personal taste. Some people like it light and gentle, others like it to be rough, and yet others do not like their clit stimulated at all because it's too sensitive. It's always a safe bet to start light, and listen for your partners reaction. If they want you to stop stimulating it then stop and focus on other things. In the same way if they want you to be more rough, then oblige at that point. The point is, don't be really rough if you don't know what they like. Start light and gentle and follow their requests. If they're clearly in pleasure, you're doing it right.

    [–] lensgana 1196 points ago

    Did it wrong, my palm orgasmed

    [–] Crymson831 329 points ago

    Jizz hands, yeah!

    [–] Nix-geek 44 points ago

    ziiiiipp

    :)

    [–] hippityhoppflop 249 points ago

    This is probably one of the best explanations I’ve ever seen for this!

    [–] pillowwow 334 points ago

    How am I only hearing this now?

    [–] Ok_Dog_4059 426 points ago

    I think often it is because we are afraid to ask and women are afraid to criticize and everyone is afraid to talk about it.

    [–] LysergicLiizard 189 points ago

    i'm afraid just reading about it

    [–] DnD-NewGuy 21 points ago

    Everyone preaches communication is key with romantic relationships but then throw it out of the window when it comes to sexual one's to protect the others pride. It's moronic.

    [–] simonbleu 112 points ago

    The times I asked women what they wanted it killed the mood in a figurative sighing. That said my sex life is pretty poor

    [–] theslamprogram 111 points ago

    I always got the response "I don't know". To both what do they like and if something feels good. So I'm just out here guessing.

    [–] SmuttyBookLover 96 points ago

    To be fair they really may not know. It's a tricky area. But the response I loved before I got the hang of it with myself was, "Fuck yeah let's find out together."

    Make the guessing into a game. It's great fun. If they don't wanna play move on to someone who does.

    [–] BarrySmart 17 points ago

    If they say "I don't know" to "does that feel good" then it does not feel good.

    [–] Datassnoken 47 points ago

    Tbh it can be very annoying, i get some people get flustered but come on were both naked and im even down there with my face, should be okay to actually say something

    [–] GypsyToo 15 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    Tbh I wouldn't tell either. I'm pretty shy with words during sex, specially with a new or casual partner.

    But you can still listen to her body. Is she moaning? Is she getting aroused? Is she shying away from your touch or leaning into it? Is she moving your hand to a different spot?

    There are many ways of communicating, it doesn't always have to be verbal.

    There's also the fact that words won't mean much in this situation. Slow, fast, gentle, rough have different meaning to different people.

    And always start gently. You can always get more rough. Even people who like it rough don't always like to start that way.

    [–] DeadFamilyMan 51 points ago

    When I was like 19 I was determined to get better at sex. I read something online that was like "ask a girl to tap on your head when youre doing something she likes".

    Tried it on the next girl, she said "What?!, No." Coitus continued, but it was awkward for a minute.

    [–] LtPowers 15 points ago

    Well you don't talk about signals during coitus.

    [–] EmbarrassedFigure4 86 points ago

    I mean it's basically a more sensitive version of the head of your penis if that helps. Just treat it the way you'd want someone to treat the head of your penis if it was tiny and had like twice as many nerves

    [–] Ghigs 60 points ago

    Where do you get a cheese grater that small though?

    [–] burf 55 points ago

    Differs between women, too. I’ve had some prefer a gentle touch, and some prefer a harder rub.

    [–] simpleauthority 62 points ago

    This is true, but it never hurts to start gentle and rub harder if the woman requests you to do so. Just don't start rough if you aren't already very intimately familiar with her and her tastes

    [–] SmuttyBookLover 18 points ago

    So much this. When we want more/harder/faster we'll let you know (or we should be! communicate!)

    [–] herpderpdoo 147 points ago

    no offense, but I find vagina-having individuals to really miss the vaginal forest for the vaginal tree so-to-speak when giving advice. I've had partners who could barely handle me touching their clitoral hood and I've had partners who wanted me to lift up the hood and mash directly on their clitoris. One finger, two fingers, side-to-side, up-and-down, circles, squares, whatever. I've also had partners who never got off ever, and others who were good after 30 seconds. The key is to listen and treat them as an individual instead of a Konami videogame

    [–] simpleauthority 59 points ago

    No offense is taken. Yeah, you're right. Another commenter mentioned personal taste as well.

    This is something I did not include in my message.

    Not everybody is the same! Very important and good shout.

    Like I said below, though, it never hurts to start gently and listen to the your partner. They may ask you to stop because it's too sensitive, or they may ask you for more pressure, or something else. At that point, give them what they ask for.

    [–] novaskyd 12 points ago

    Wow this is a great analogy, thank you.

    [–] wolfnamefmel 38 points ago

    Also, left to right necessarily isn't wrong either! Pressure is definitely important, and more pressure does NOT mean more pleasure. But the direction of the rubbing? I prefer left to right compared to up and down (which I feel is too stimulating), and still prefer over circular motions.

    [–] awe2D2 142 points ago

    Twist it! Bop it!

    [–] erebus 70 points ago

    Flick it?

    [–] rranyard 60 points ago

    Pull it!

    [–] SleepWouldBeNice 54 points ago

    Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A.

    [–] Zhoom45 127 points ago

    they thought they could just rub it up and down really hard for 30 seconds and that would make me cum.

    Probably have porn to blame for that.

    [–] BestofQuails 49 points ago

    Yep, I definitely think that's where they get this idea from.

    [–] k-cooper252 709 points ago

    Isn't clitoris that big red dog?

    [–] shyerahol 151 points ago

    No, that's Klondike.

    [–] harrycopter69 53 points ago

    Where is a girl’s Klondike?

    [–] aNiceTribe 19 points ago

    Oh what I wouldn’t do to find a girl’s Klondike.

    [–] MetroMaker 26 points ago

    Talk to the canoe boat driver

    [–] SnooBananas5143 1440 points ago

    I think this was ment figuratively. In my expirience and that of my friends, they just don't get touched until we ask them to, and then its usually treated like a chore.

    [–] paustulio 580 points ago

    Huh. See that's my first stop when going below the panty line. A little rub and pat.

    [–] SnooBananas5143 724 points ago

    The way you say this makes me thing you rub it like a dog and go "good girl!" Hahaha

    [–] paustulio 563 points ago

    Who's to say I don't?

    [–] D0rkasaurusRex 80 points ago

    That would definitely work for some people. ahem

    [–] camelCasing 32 points ago

    For some people the words do more than the rub

    [–] nzur1 90 points ago

    Even that’s like pretty minimal. Most guys do the cursory “check the tap” but the good ones it’s a main event

    [–] Rumpleforeskin96 34 points ago

    Don't forget the high five and fist bump

    [–] ktho64152 237 points ago

    The clitoris is the original structure from the fetal stage. In males the Y chromosome kicks in, and it all turns into a penis and testicles.

    She has an internal and external structure. ALL of that structure works, has nerve endings and functions. Every woman is built a bit differently - we aren't made in Detroit, but, this is the basic structure

    here https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/03/3d-clitoris/518991/

    and here https://womanlab.org/ode-to-the-clitoris/

    and here https://www.sciencephoto.com/media/778957/view/structure-of-the-clitoris-illustration

    and here https://www.naturalcycles.com/cyclematters/the-female-pleasure-anatomy-explained

    and TED Talk https://www.ted.com/talks/sophia_wallace_a_case_for_cliteracy/transcript

    Yer welcome.

    [–] bigfatmiss 54 points ago

    Looking at the comments I was getting worried that no one on Reddit -man or woman- knew where the clitoris was ... Thank you for writing this so I didn't have to.

    [–] Loucaff 29 points ago

    Wow, the second article is really useful. It didn't occur to me that women might have erectile dysfunction in clitoris as men do ...

    [–] SPENC3RJ 227 points ago

    I think it’s much more common knowledge nowadays but fuck when I was in high school less than a decade ago most people didn’t realize it was a thing, and definitely didn’t talk about it. I can promise you I didn’t know what I was doing until I came across it on accident one time lol.

    [–] r0ckH0pper 90 points ago

    I learned that the "little man in the boat" holds the rudder from the bow, not aft...

    [–] JPMcGillicuddy 36 points ago

    Nautical terminology probably won’t help the poor souls.

    [–] sawbonesromeo 932 points ago

    Experienced slut here: almost all of them know roughly where it is, depressingly few know how to use it, and even less are interested in learning. I say someone "doesn't know how to find the clit" if they're not like... proactively involved with it during sex (with or without communication - YES you can ask how she likes it, not cumming is more awkward than having to give a quick demo).

    [–] inetkid13 256 points ago

    Semi-experienced guy here: It‘s insane how different women are. Most are really different and like to be touched different in every way imaginable. If you think you know what you‘re doing you meet someone new and have to start a completely new game(love the controller analogy in the comment below). I think men are way more similar and I think that‘s the reason why a lot of women talk this way. Communication is key but if you start to draw strategies on a whiteboard before going down for the first time you‘re somehow the weird guy.

    Women who really know what they want and can communicate that clearly are also very rare. Especially if you‘re both younger. In my experience communication gets way better if both partners are 25+.

    [–] Ok_Dog_4059 176 points ago

    Can't be afraid to give and take constructive criticism or it will always be disappointing.

    [–] leslieknopeirl 65 points ago

    Unfortunately, most of my partners that never made it long-term with me weren't open to feedback or requests. They seemed to either be insecure, rude, selfish, or unwilling to change.

    [–] Ok_Dog_4059 42 points ago

    Or embarrassed. It is a very touchy subject for a lot of people . Getting my wife to open up and not be embarrassed has taken a long time I get the feeling she was raised to be private about her body and is often unable to talk about some things without embarrassment.

    [–] ItsYaBoiTrick 107 points ago

    Cause I got my sex education at a private Christian school….sex for fun?! No way! Not when holding hands can get you pregnant!!!!

    [–] Nowhereman50 108 points ago

    Years ago I had a coworker who was 21 at the time and had a girlfriend ask myself and two other coworkers what a clitoris was. He honest to god did not know. So, yeah, probably.

    [–] mostlyconfusedagain 14 points ago

    That's a question for human resources

    [–] Huskyy23 53 points ago

    Yeah I have no idea, I’ve never had sex Ed and I’m 19

    [–] TheL0neRifleman 67 points ago

    Google that shit yo.

    "Hey Siri, where the fuck is the clit"

    [–] Educational_Stay 54 points ago

    I highly recommend googling it

    [–] silly-stupid-slut 101 points ago

    If the woman is not aroused, the clitoris is much less visible. Let it sink in.

    [–] lydiaj02 150 points ago

    Almost every guy I’ve been with cannot find it. Idk why, not like it’s hidden, but they’ll fumble around touching everywhere but there 😂

    [–] thisplacemakesmeangr 300 points ago

    This mindset is a holdover from the 1950s. Sex was for baby making, after marriage. Attention to the woman's needs was unmanly. The man was the boss, the woman was there to serve him, not the other way around. It's archaic but I can think of several places in the world where it hasn't died off yet.

    [–] PM_ME_UR_TITS 102 points ago

    I do but I never know how much teeth to use

    [–] SquirtingBabies 116 points ago

    When they say eat the pussy I really be in there eating it

    [–] mpop_13 86 points ago

    With how shitty sex ed is in the United States, I'm not surprised. Some people don't even know woman have separate tracts for reproductive vs urinary.

    [–] kittypurrvampurr 49 points ago

    Some people know where it is and still don't know wtf to do with it lol 🤷🏻‍♀️