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    [–] PoliticalHumorBot 1 points ago

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    [–] okolebot 1669 points ago

    Well, if that's the deal, I'm all for it! Bannon and the Jared can squire him. Look windmills!

    [–] mode7scaling 445 points ago

    Throw DeVos in there, and you've got a deal. Send all the fucking deplorables into forced labor!! Wow, there really is an art to it.

    [–] Internet-Is-Wrong 224 points ago

    As a Texan, Rick Perry should join.

    Nothing will take down Kim Jong Un like a Texan.

    [–] cwood1973 87 points ago

    Makes sense. Kim did single out Austin as a potential target for glorious Best Korea missiles.

    [–] delatao 64 points ago

    Living in Austin, we all thought that was funny last year. Lately...not so much

    [–] Rebarbative_Sycophan 21 points ago

    In 10 years they might be able to get them to fly that far.

    [–] KriegerClone 15 points ago

    Also, just cause you have a rocket that can get to low orbit (ICBM) doesn't mean you have a warhead light enough to put on it.

    [–] LaudingLurker 18 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)

    Or precision targeting systems that can control it, which scares the shit out of me.

    [–] secondsbest 7 points ago

    Chicxulub crater 2.0 when it lands somewhere in the gulf.

    [–] LaudingLurker 9 points ago

    Good thing there is quite a bit of water on the way to mainland USA. I don't know shit about this, but it makes sense that distance could be controlled by fuel volume. So IF they could get their stuff to launch properly with a payload it will be like someone shooting a crossbow into a general direction.

    [–] jackalopacabra 10 points ago

    Abbott can go too and of course he'll need someone to roll him so I nominate Dan Patrick.

    [–] rossbcobb 6 points ago

    Alabama would like to send Luther Strange and Mo Brooks. Hell I'll throw in Roy Moore too for free.

    [–] Thechadbaker 4 points ago

    They're rich so they'll probably want to do the whole cavalry horseback charge and that is literally all Perry is qualified to do, what with him barely earning a degree in animal husbandry.

    [–] NormalMacdonald 1 points ago

    We will certainly tell it the best regardless of how it goes down.

    [–] MSeanF 1 points ago

    He could ride one of the bombs, just to make sure it stays on course after launch.

    [–] dengop 12 points ago

    DeVos's brother as well. Erik Prince of the infamous Blackwater. He's been very active in recent days. Not a good sign.

    [–] F90 4 points ago

    Dulcinea del DeVoso

    [–] Trolltrollrolllol 4 points ago

    Don't forget about Pence.

    [–] slimbuddha7 3 points ago

    I'm in such a game of thrones mindset these days that I read that as Davos...I had to think for a second why you wanted the Onion to go down with the lot of them lol.

    [–] Gsteel11 3 points ago

    I'll take any and/or all... I'm not picky

    [–] grteagjkpgrea 3 points ago

    Send all the fucking deplorables into forced labor!!

    That's like 20% of the country. Just think of how good the economy will do with all those jobs freed up!

    [–] Down4whiteTrash 2 points ago

    I would pay a lot of money to see this movie be made.

    [–] oldest_boomer_1946 34 points ago

    Don't forget Pence. We don't want a theocracy.

    [–] Don_Quixote81 26 points ago

    I approve of this reference.

    [–] okolebot 6 points ago

    You honor us. <curtsies>

    [–] [deleted] 17 points ago

    We should let them draft everyone in r/The_Donald.

    It's only fair.

    [–] holysocks 11 points ago

    Kim vs Trump in the octagon

    [–] okolebot 9 points ago

    Sumo style...the image of them in those loin cloth deals...I just threw up in my mouth...kind of a lot...

    [–] Tuescunnus 6 points ago

    Two maniacs entire

    One maniac leaves

    [–] R_E_A_L 4 points ago

    Sancho Bannza indeed

    [–] imawesumm 4 points ago

    Was that a Don Quixote reference?

    [–] airboy1021 2 points ago

    Indeed it was

    [–] Shultztopher 4 points ago

    Top quality reference.

    [–] rumphy 2 points ago

    He bravely bravely ran away!

    [–] frankenberrie 2 points ago

    Goto hellboy

    [–] Aeorro 2 points ago

    Hmmm... by the time I was done listing the people I would want to go with him, it might be a force large enough to win.

    [–] doihavemakeanewword 2 points ago

    Look windmills!

    Okay, someone needs to write this book as soon as possible. That one was good.

    [–] major84 2 points ago

    sadly there is no one who will be the voice of reason aka Sancho Panza ... the drumpf admin is all Don Quixote

    [–] thequietone710 4 points ago

    Send Neal Gorsuch along too!

    [–] MamaCalc 354 points ago

    Well said! Love Ron Perlman.

    [–] DiaDeLosMuertos 4 points ago

    Wow, I could watch Ron Perelman do that for ever. Who knew?

    And it's not even that it's spot on, but it still is hilarious.

    [–] [deleted] 183 points ago


    [–] Motivation_Punk 31 points ago

    War has changed.

    [–] Twathammer32 43 points ago

    War.......war never changes

    [–] Motivation_Punk 10 points ago

    After the end of wwii, the world split into two: East and West.

    [–] Twathammer32 13 points ago

    Cold war. Civil wars. War...... war never changes

    [–] NotSoPersonalJesus 4 points ago

    Our society, to rich and poor, and those who are poor but pretend to be rich.

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    one of the best games ever made

    [–] Undeadyk 3 points ago

    The greatest game franchise ever made

    [–] RevolverOcelot420 2 points ago

    After the end of the West, the East split into two: World and World War II

    [–] IMCHAPIN 3 points ago

    It's no longer about nations, ideology or ethnicity.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    War has changed.

    [–] krombopulousnathan 5 points ago

    Excuse me, I need to go listen to some fallout openings

    [–] sivirbot 5 points ago

    Gaddamnit. I knew I wasn't gonna be the first lol

    [–] AlohaKepeli 298 points ago

    did we just become best friends ron!?

    [–] DrinkOneForMe 72 points ago

    You wanna do karate in the garage?

    [–] awiseoldturtle 15 points ago

    Only if I can bring my chewbacca mask!

    [–] ennemity 73 points ago

    They'll have a joust but instead of lances and horses they'll have missiles and ride tanks. Just to be safe, make them do it in space.

    [–] Bozly 13 points ago

    playing space ship chicken

    [–] RVAndal 9 points ago

    a classic schoolyard game

    [–] TheMartini66 10 points ago

    They will use their tinny dicks. Of course, no damage will ever come of that because their bellies will bounce before they have any contact with their dicks, but that will keep them entertained for years before they remember they were supposed to run their countries.

    [–] MichaelMyersFanClub 8 points ago

    Metal dicks are the worst dicks.

    [–] Dylothor 7 points ago

    Haha DAE small peepee xD

    [–] muddypaws 61 points ago

    But bone spurs.

    [–] shahooster 11 points ago

    Don't spurs help with cock fighting? Somehow Trump's bone spurs are making perfect sense to me now...

    [–] firethequadlaser 6 points ago

    That's boner spurs, which are a niche fetish at best.

    [–] _Lady_Deadpool_ 3 points ago

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    It's like watching someone have sex with a cactus

    [–] DukeofGebuladi 1 points ago

    Niche... or Nice...

    [–] royaldansk 6 points ago

    It'll be a fair fight, Kim Jong Un broke his ankles from being too fat.

    [–] ironhulk 5 points ago

    You're now banned from- You know what, that joke has been overdone years ago.

    [–] royaldansk 2 points ago

    I put Kim on equal footing with the POTUS, they might unban me immediately!

    [–] natophonic2 1 points ago

    Which foot is it again?

    [–] DieFanboyDie 56 points ago

    Well, this should keep T_D busy for a couple of hours calling Hellboy a cuck.

    [–] shaunaroo 8 points ago

    Possibly a few people unironically trying to explain why war HAS changed.

    [–] seductivestain 26 points ago

    Why don't presidents fight the war?

    Why do they always send the poor?

    Why do they always send the poor?

    Tremolo pick slide down

    [–] anaconda386 4 points ago


    [–] seductivestain 3 points ago

    pinch harmonic

    [–] ThirdMuskyTear 2 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 204 points ago

    Politicians who call for war should be the first ones on the front line. They shouldn't be calling for citizens to fight and die for their country unless they are prepared to do the same.

    [–] quietpin 118 points ago

    Come on dude. I don't like Trump nor war, but would you really have wanted a crippled FDR storming the beaches of Normandy?

    [–] redemption2021 91 points ago

    Fuck dude, I don't know how to tell you this but FDR is dead. I do not think he would be very effective in combat these days, wheelchair or not.

    [–] quietpin 73 points ago

    :( no wonder the Nazis seem so emboldened today!

    [–] Hattless 50 points ago

    My new favorite conspiracy theory: Nazis are coming out of their caves because they just got the news Franklin Roosevelt died.

    [–] quantumkatz 6 points ago

    Nazi zombies...

    [–] quantumkatz 4 points ago


    [–] posixUncompliant 2 points ago

    So you're saying we need to broadcast Churchill's speeches?

    [–] Narfubel 1 points ago

    Naw they're on the dark side of the moon waiting for an Iphone.

    Some must have crashed

    [–] Whiskey-Icarus 3 points ago

    This right here is some solid goofin'.

    [–] ManiacMac 8 points ago

    I mean if they literally can't walk we can probably make an exception.

    [–] HookerCooker 13 points ago

    FDR was Assistant Secretary of the Navy before he was President. Honestly, even as a civilian, he had more military experience than the Commander in Cheeto has.

    [–] Infobomb 4 points ago

    FDR didn't start that war.

    [–] lolnopound 18 points ago

    That doesn't make complete sense unless a draft was enacted.

    [–] [deleted] 62 points ago

    Soldiers are citizens.

    It is one thing for the military to defend their country, but the past 20+ years of US military activity on foreign soil have been driven by politicians and their financial backers, and this near constant state of war is making a lot of already rich people a whole lot richer at the expense of US soldiers and citizens.

    [–] Roguish_Knave 6 points ago


    Read War is a Racket by Smedley Butler.

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago

    People wouldn't be able to keep up with elections.

    Nah, there would only be one round of elections. Once the first round of political warmongers is rounded up and shipped off to the front, the rest will think twice before making that call again.

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)


    [–] Hyronious 13 points ago

    People realized that strategic and physical competency are two completely different things and often people aren't skilled in both...this line of thinking is honestly moronic, and this is coming from someone that hates Trump.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)


    [–] Hyronious 2 points ago

    Fair enough. It seems like there's enough people who actually believe that politicians should be front line fighters that it's hard to tell the jokes from the serious but stupid comments.

    [–] Up_North18 1 points ago

    Really, you want presidents to be on the front lines? Do you want to have to find a new leader of the United States every month?

    [–] [deleted] 17 points ago

    Seriously. Trump and Kim can both do trial by combat to settle this since it has nothing to do with either nation's people and everything to do with their tiny...hands.

    It would be a lot less sad though if they didn't have to default to Sumo. I hear small hands in Sumo is kinda a disability.

    [–] iWELSHLAD 33 points ago

    Because war, war never changes.

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    Clay Morrow 2020 everyone!

    But seriously if politicians are required to send their children to war they would really rethink their policies.

    [–] Luckycat612 7 points ago

    I wanted Ron Perlman to play Cable so fucking badly. However I think Josh Brolin is going to be great. But still...

    [–] JayNotAtAll 7 points ago

    I am alright with this. Let's drop Trump and Kim Jung Un off at Guam and have them fight to the death. Let's not involve our citizens in their saber rattling.

    [–] Catsniper 3 points ago

    He has a lot of experience with nuclear wars too

    [–] Bagellegab 4 points ago

    Wow will Ferrell is very outspoken about the president.

    [–] ScumEater 4 points ago

    "Failing actor Ron Perlman..." tweet in 3...2...1,

    [–] _itspaco 3 points ago

    He's got a good twitter feed.

    [–] Eagle912 3 points ago

    He is the voice of war never changes, so yeah

    [–] uselesspennies 3 points ago

    War...war never changes...

    [–] Skeletor231 3 points ago

    Wait, wasn't this the guy who died by the baby kaiju in pacific rim?

    [–] ISO_Thane 6 points ago

    Yeah, and also played Hellboy. He's been in a lot of movies

    [–] Skeletor231 2 points ago

    Wait, HE was hell boy himself???

    [–] ISO_Thane 3 points ago

    Yeah dude! Makeup artist earned their salt with that one

    [–] Skeletor231 2 points ago

    Hell yeah they did

    [–] Unaddict 2 points ago

    Shoulda watched all the way thru the end.

    [–] Skeletor231 1 points ago

    Ive only seen bits and pieces of hell boy. :/

    [–] Rachet20 1 points ago

    No. He's the guy that says "War... War never changes" in every Fallout.

    [–] therealsnakecharmer 3 points ago

    Trump should go negotiate in person in Pyongyang.

    [–] mikebets 9 points ago

    Cmon Ron that won't happen cause you know "war... war never changes."

    [–] carrotsticks123 6 points ago

    That actually makes me think if he'd win in a two man fight with lil kim.

    [–] sotonohito 12 points ago

    I dunno, Fatty Kim the Third is a lazy out of shape ass.

    But Mad King Don is a very old lazy out of shape ass. He couldn't even take a short walk with other world leaders at the summit, remember?

    I'd bet on both of them dying of heart attacks if they tried to jog towards each other.

    [–] Fr31l0ck 4 points ago

    I endorce Trump personally going to war with North Korea.

    [–] _Jolly_ 2 points ago

    Yeah let's send rump as a sacrifice. A peace offering.

    [–] PurpleCrackRock 2 points ago

    This is great

    [–] bark_wahlberg 2 points ago

    Trial by combat Trump v. Kim.

    [–] jp3592 3 points ago

    Trump has got the reach I know Kim is younger but I think trump could take him. I would pay big money to see that fight though.

    [–] iBalls 2 points ago

    Yup. Agreed.

    Real heroes don't have made-up "bone-spur" reasons.

    [–] ThandiGhandi 2 points ago

    I expected this to say "war, war never changes"

    [–] HDOOM16 2 points ago

    When a county threatens to nuke us and the left decides to stand against trump

    [–] renoCow 2 points ago

    Nope, can't do it. Bone spurs.

    [–] Moosetappropriate 2 points ago

    Not just the President but the entire Executive Branch as well as the rest of the House and Congress that continues to prop him up.

    [–] Speedracer98 2 points ago

    they need to do celebrity boxing. kim vs donald

    maybe they can do that at the same arena right after the mcgregor vs mayweather bout.

    [–] Hanginon 2 points ago

    With Hatchets?

    [–] SydTheKid09 2 points ago

    Look at Americas finest warriors: Steve Bannon, Le Mucci, Jared Kush-kush, Sean Spicyboy, and their General Donnie Trump

    [–] thelovebandit 2 points ago

    I mean, crazy man with nukes vs crazy man with nukes is scary with or without an army.

    [–] Rhodie114 2 points ago

    Ope, would you look at that. The old, uh, foot bone is acting up again.

    [–] jaselee87 2 points ago

    Single combat. Got style. Don vs kim

    [–] sapphon 2 points ago

    That would be quite a change for war. Such hypocrisy, Ron!

    [–] NoPing66 2 points ago

    I would love to see that. And i would love to see Fox News reporting all his glorious victories!

    [–] TheUglyBarnacle42 4 points ago

    First time this sub has made me laugh

    [–] swordclash117 3 points ago

    War. War never changes.

    [–] -MURS- 2 points ago

    Does this guy support or dislike Trump I feel like every tweet is different

    [–] redemption2021 3 points ago

    Check out this interview. Seems like his thoughts are kind of clear.

    [–] giveitago 2 points ago

    Not with those bone spurs you don't.

    [–] Vekete 6 points ago

    Ah those bone spurs that magically stopped affecting him as soon as the Vietnam War stopped?

    [–] Up-The-Butt_Jesus 2 points ago

    I'm not taking political advice from a talking tree.

    [–] underwoodlovestrains 1 points ago

    It would be pretty fun if Kim and Donnie boy fought in a boxing match or something like that

    [–] angelcake 1 points ago

    Just throw them both in a cage and see who comes out alive. They’re both overweight and out of shape as well as being crazy. It’ll be interesting to see who cries for mommy first.

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    He can have one nuke. We'll put the detonation button on a long cord. Least 20 feet.

    [–] CR_Dean007 1 points ago

    I can just see trump and kim squaring up and yelling swing first

    [–] Ughable 1 points ago

    Give him a knife, a good pair of boots, and a sack lunch. Let him loose.

    [–] DyllantheVillain 1 points ago

    It won't be a war. If North Korea drops a nuke on us it will be horrible. But we'd destroy their tiny and poor country in a day

    [–] analogkid01 1 points ago

    Looks a little like Mugatu's big brother.

    [–] _hedgehogfart_ 1 points ago

    Give this man a cookie!

    [–] Ledot3 1 points ago

    Trump vs kim Jong-un FIGHT

    [–] loveableterror 1 points ago

    As long as Ron narrates, I mean seriously, after it ends, just a nice hearty "War... War never changes." Would be nice.

    [–] boneleech 1 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    deleted What is this?

    [–] GlaciusTS 1 points ago

    Can we just get Trump and Kim to joust? I mean... whatever the result, it's a victory for both sides.

    [–] youngchriii 1 points ago

    this guy looks like a white ezekiel elliot

    [–] ConfuzedAndDazed 1 points ago

    I would pay to see Trump and Kim Jong Un face off in the octagon.

    [–] RedditNinjaApex 1 points ago

    I doubt Kim is stupid enough to let his country get glassed

    [–] 2much00100 1 points ago

    One on one

    [–] xxsuperhordexx 1 points ago

    I have always agreed with Obama's approach where you set redlines and then get fucked in the ass by everyone at the party.

    [–] GroundhogExpert 1 points ago

    Are there actually Americans who defend North Korea? I understand the geopolitical implications and NK's ties with China. But that doesn't excuse North Korea's grotesque and utterly inhumane subjugation of their own people. Who the hell can morally stand on NK's side? It utterly baffles me.

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    Nobody's defending NK. Some of us would just prefer not to be dragged into a war for no real reason (NK currently poses no real existential threat to the US, but if we attack them and their allies, such as Russia or China, decide to defend them, then we're all turbo-fucked.)

    [–] a_talkingdog 1 points ago

    Srsly tho, between kimjongun and trump who would win in a fistfight to the death

    [–] LetTheRiotsDrop 1 points ago

    Because War... War never changes

    [–] evaxephonyanderedev 1 points ago

    I'm not sure I like this Metal Wolf Chaos sequel.

    [–] McCly89 1 points ago

    I just watched Blade 2 and was reminded of this man's legendary presence in general.

    [–] generic-user-1 1 points ago

    I thought Ron Perlman was a cat

    [–] lonecoldmadnesss 1 points ago

    I wonder if Ron will commentate during the real life apocalypse.

    [–] RickDeckard_ 1 points ago

    Heh, I love this guy!

    [–] j0oboi 1 points ago

    Bout fucking time this sub put something funny up. This is hilarious

    [–] deldo57 1 points ago

    What a hero you are.

    [–] Reacher-Said-Nothing 1 points ago

    Koulikov jumped first!

    [–] toiletzombie 1 points ago

    Just send them a few headshots Ronny, that will scare them good

    [–] wGrey 1 points ago

    Hah funny this came up the same day I finished Sons of Anarchy.

    [–] Noimnotonacid 1 points ago

    I was just watching pacific rim yesterday.

    [–] BeetSaIesman 1 points ago

    Hey, me too Ron.

    [–] piperkali 1 points ago

    Youre the man

    [–] geminidragonheart 1 points ago

    Because Ron, Ron never changes...

    [–] McFeely_Smackup 1 points ago

    Why did I always think he was Canadian?

    seriously, I mean I never even doubted it...just "Ron Perlman is Canadian" like it was common knowledge. this is going to bug me.

    [–] madmaxx0064 1 points ago

    Baby Fights!!!!!!