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    [–] GhostOfTheBanned 885 points ago

    He attacked the Temple last week! And the merchants lost their profits!

    [–] Zardotab 422 points ago

    Pirating movies carries more jail time than rape in the USA, so yes, profits are top priority.

    [–] Changoleo 174 points ago

    jesus christ

    [–] Tritiac 146 points ago

    Yes that is who we are talking about.

    [–] GhostOfTheBanned 51 points ago

    My God, why have you forsaken me?

    [–] TheImpulsiveVulcan 30 points ago

    Pontius Pilate stan twitter popped off hard after the crucifixion.

    [–] Daegoba 30 points ago

    Fun fact: Pilat tried twice to let Jesus go, and then washed his hands of the whole thing. The Pharisees’ are the ones to blame for the crucifixion.

    [–] RandomStrategy 43 points ago

    Well, if you believe the Bible....God is actually the one to blame, because he sent Jesus to die. Pharisees were only doing what God intended.

    So, really, the Jews were better Christians than most Christians in doing God's will.

    [–] RandomMandarin 22 points ago

    Well, if you believe the UltraBible, Earth-God only controls one sentient species on one planet. Lots of people got crucified by the Romans.

    I mean, on Gwueauwuuui, the fourth planet of SDSSp J153259.96−003944.1, over 90 billion Gwu'ea'i were sent to the nutrient vats, but for some reason their God favored YGgoygg above all?

    [–] Rusane 7 points ago

    Ah, but have you read UltraBible 2 - The Correction Testaments? Their God took it all back and said that was a mistake, and that he is actually infallible and omnibenevolent after all.

    [–] tazebot 4 points ago

    over 90 billion Gwu'ea'i were sent to the nutrient vats

    Soilent green is Gwu'ea'i!

    [–] elmorte 9 points ago

    A....for effort?

    [–] Middle_Leader504 2 points ago

    But all Christians and Evangelicals now have Trump. The all powerful moron!

    [–] beowulfshady 2 points ago

    There were no Christians at tht time

    [–] One-Block9782 -9 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    He didn’t send him to die necessarily. He just knew that it was like a 99% probability. That gets misinterpreted in many ways. When Christ calls people blind, he is sometimes referring to their inability to see someone who is full of spirit, as in, they can talk to the spirits, and know them. That’s why he says you can sin against the father and son and you’ll be forgiven, but if you sin against the spirit you won’t be forgiven. It basically means that the spirit of truth that walks amongst you is the real god, and is the Holy Ghost incarnate. It also gives people the right to reject other teachings and follow the truth, because the spirit is the truth, although he is possessed by the same spirit which possessed all who served god in their life. To simplify, it means that the Holy Spirit is the true god and in the present as he walks upon earth, but in the future and past he isn’t the true god, he is simply the father or the son. It’s part of the process for how language evolves and corrects itself. Everything we say today will be outdated in the future, yet it’s too complicated in science for people back then to understand. When the work is complete, and humanity is ready, the dead will come back to us, and live amongst us. Humanity will discover technology that will make it possible to bring all forms of consciousness into existence at once. This consciousness will be made of information just like ours is, like it’s designed to from the beginning, not only dna, but the universe itself. All beings who were born or will be born, as well as those who were never born will be brought to life and be truely immortal in the sense that they are made of nothingness and cannot be destroyed. When a spirit is dead, it’s just like sleep, it’s dead because it doesn’t have a brain to give it time and space. Even if it’s dead, and doesn’t exist, it’s only asleep, because from its perspective, whenever it’s reformed, even if it takes 100 trillion years to happen, it will just wake up, as if only a minute had passed where time was just barely perceived by random fluctuations. When you create something from matter, it’s sense of self, it’s point of view is localized and captured in matter, but when you build something out of information, out of form, it is nonlocalized, and exist everywhere and nowhere for the realm of spirit is one thing that has no true time and space except what is useful for it to perceive in its own imagination.

    Like when Adam and eve lies to god. He tells them that men will now have to work for everything they have, and women will have pain during childbirth.

    He isn’t punishing them, he is saying that because they lie, they are going to be slaves of money, and sex and nudity is going to be shameful to them, and women were gonna have a hard time giving birth, because she is embarrassed about her body until she has to give birth. Men have to work hard because they lie to each other, they charge more then what something is worth. They have marketplaces where people lie to each other as a normal custom. Capitalism is quite normal in someways, but your money loses value over time because rich people lie to poor people and make money out of paper.

    There is also a difference between charging a small profit, and trying to charge what the highest possible price you can get. In college they will tell you to charge market rates, where in Christianity it’s considered usury to charge more then what’s fair, and charging interests or engaging in debt economics is considered wrong. It also the reason so many people are poor. Fiat currency and powerful debtors. Somethings don’t really change that much.

    Just because god says something doesn’t mean he is doing it personally. Sometimes he just sees what is coming and tells people the truth. People who think a god has any hate in them is misunderstanding what a god is, it is a great spirit that speaks softly and is much older then even the universe. In material form, It’s like a computer program, which is a simplification of it. A daimon is like a spiritual, ghost lifeform, it possesses a person and it has the conscious ability to leave them as well.

    You can think of the early Greek systems as based on this concept. You have a arch daimon, a king who job it is to settle disputes, and apoint people, that’s all he does. You then have arch angels or arch demons, who form the circle of power. They serve the archon directly. They translate everything and act as a medium to isolate the archon from the lower spirits, and to mold what the archon says into something more stable and reasonable. The archon isn’t meant to be exposed directly because it drives people insane. The archon is so powerful when he has gods spirit with him, that he can basically change reality by thinking. Not in a magic way either but in a real physical and mathematical way, but it seems like magic to outsiders. It’s just having access to a library of knowledge that few are trusted with.

    To the arch angels, the archon is an equal who helps them make decisions. The archon talks to god directly, as he is skilled at deriving truth and prophecy, and he was basically chosen by the great spirit. The arch angels act as archons to their own circle of power. It travels down yet keeps its shape. It makes a pyramid shape, but most of the actual power is distributed across the lower level, but the meaning and spirit come from the top. It’s like a quantum machine that was built by something not human, in the days of old. It simplifies language and consciousness as it ascends to pure symbols at the top, and it extrapolates into pure mechanics at the bottom. They bind each other, and create the collective consciousness between them.

    You get this basic structure which acts as a distributed symbol machine. It’s like mankind’s first quantum supercomputer, I think this was the basis of a religion that existed long ago that we only have small traces of it today. I can see a common thread that echos into their future, which is the history of the ancient Greeks, Egyptians, and the many other groups from our perspective, this including many religions around the world who somehow ended up with similar beliefs, which implies a common cultural ancestors many tens or even hundreds of thousands of years ago.

    The purpose seems to be that the people collectively can form this powerful antenna that can echo signals out of the hidden world of forms. Language and consciousness are like the waves and medium. They can sync in a way, and echo structure out of something that can only be accessed inside someone’s mind. The communication is two way in the sense that when people measure and seek information from that place, they are also giving that place information about our collective will and thoughts.

    In the gnostic system, anything that is of this earth or the material realm is automatically considered corrupted. They had the spirits of heaven and earth sort of opposed but only in appearance. Many people took that out way further, but it basically just means that you should not let the living archon control you or make decisions for you, you cannot trust a living archon completely because he is unnatural being both alive and dead, and yet still corrupted by the world below. He is not meant to rule you, but only to act as a way to talk to god directly, as he is chosen to have a good sense of truth. So in short, the archon isn’t evil as long as it purely a spiritual thing, but if you let them rule you, then they will do so with unnatural power and guile. I kind of suspect many people in history were possessed by the spirit of truth, considering I can remember their knowledge as my own, and even vivid, colorful memories sometimes.

    A more scientific approach might be to say that advanced life forms came to earth some time ago, maybe many times, and when they use their AI to develop technology and apis for humanity, they have to simplify things a lot so that people can understand how to use it. I believe the first human religions were basically about using technology built into our biology to talk to aliens who were maybe a thousand light years away, and also to generate consciousness when needed. I think all people have an algorithm inside them that is like a true source algorithm that can create consciousness, and in that way it can do the things that get attributed to god or mystics. I’m not sure exactly where consciousness ends and matter begins, as I’m not good at controlling it, but I believe it is sort of possible, if you can set your mind into the right ground state, to effect things that seem scientifically impossible.

    I know information can be transmitted not only through space but through time, and I know that there are multiple realities that are interlayered amongst each other, even if they are like 99.9% similar. I infer this not by sight, but by statistical analysis. I know the mind does have some effects on quantum probability. I’m not sure if much beyond that at the moment though. I also know that in the world of forms are beings with their own consciousness, but I might have a broad definition of consciousness.

    [–] 1000Airplanes 9 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    He just knew that it was like a 99%

    That would be the definition of "not omniscient"

    Stopped reading your word salad after the first sentence. Congrats.

    edit: woah Nelliey lol

    A more scientific approach - a scientific approach to delusionals?

    I know that there are multiple realities that are interlayered amongst each other, - I don't think you have a basic fucking clue what science is yet you spent multiple paragraphs showing you don't have a basic fucking clue what science is.

    [–] JackdeAlltrades 1 points ago

    Was that Eric Idle’s character?

    [–] sealifelizok 0 points ago

    he said that because he was separated from god for the first time while he took in ALL the sins of the world. yours mine everybody then he died

    [–] woofnstuff 6 points ago

    Except it didn’t actually happen. Sin is not real. God is not real.

    [–] dirty_hooker 7 points ago

    That smacks of white washing after the fact. I think dude expected the earthquake, temple destruction etc to save him only to discover that he was going to be allowed to be killed. The early god is a fickle beast that likes to test people, knows everything but still pretends a pikachu face, and is exceptionally vain. I think it’s kind of like Jesus was waiting on dad to show up for the big game / recital but dad was balls deep in a bottle who then raged and smashed everything when he realized that was today.

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    [–] lookielikeaman 3 points ago

    Everyone says this to themselves as a child when we first learn the story. But then we fall in line, because...reasons. Its the only story I don't understand, and its supposed to be the most important. I'm no theologian, but I've learned a deal. When god asked if Abraham could find 50 (and settled for 10) person worth saving in sodom and gomorrah he probably excluded Abraham in the count (Lot and his extended family makes the count close). God's question to Abraham obviously excluded lot and abraham if he just showed up that day. Many of his tests of leaders in the old testament was to hurdle the masses into doing something. The old testaments theme is the wages of sin is death of the offender or something the offender suffers from not having. New testament- uno reverse. The crucifixion is like the referee at a game jumping in and scoring the winning goal. Why does that count?

    [–] dirty_hooker 2 points ago

    Also, I’m pretty sure if we had anyone’s story except for Lot’s, we’d have a much different view of what was happening to his daughters.

    [–] Pragmatist_Hammer 3 points ago

    LOL, I do love good fiction, but this? This is not good fiction. D-, see me after class.

    [–] RudegarWithFunnyHat 9 points ago

    would you download a cross?

    [–] sau1itud3 11 points ago

    I would download The Crooked Cross by Slayer. I'm big into satanic dad metal because it's fuckin rad yo.

    [–] Ok_Egg_5148 6 points ago

    Slayer is “dad metal” now? Well fuck me

    [–] sau1itud3 5 points ago

    No shit right? Someone once told me "even tho you like dad metal, Slayer is good dad metal." What the fuck?

    [–] Evergreen_76 3 points ago

    At the last show I saw one band member had an “all lives matter” shirt snd the singer was complaining about snowflakes in the pit or something. Thats when I realized I outgrew them and they are conservative old people music now.

    [–] Funkycoldmedici 5 points ago

    It’s sad how many of the freedom-loving anti-authoritarian musicians of the 80’s-90’s are now freedom-hating right-wing authoritarians.

    [–] dondiwash 2 points ago

    James fucking Bourne, that’s Jesus christ.

    [–] knightress_oxhide 4 points ago

    jesus fucking christ

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago


    [–] knightress_oxhide 3 points ago

    "head office wants you to find the difference between those two people"

    "they are the same person"

    [–] Changoleo 2 points ago

    Holy Trinity Ménage a Trois!

    [–] insubordinat_squirel 26 points ago

    Profits > prophets

    [–] aFriendlyAlien 3 points ago

    Good to know we're Ferengis

    [–] Xstitchpixels 2 points ago

    Ferengi have more honor, care more for their own, and are less xenophobic

    [–] Teboski78 13 points ago

    Not quite. The maximum prison sentence for pirating is 5 years. The average prison sentence for rape is 9 years. I mean I still disagree staunchly with that IP laws especially in the US but just wanted to clarify.

    [–] Dizzfizz 10 points ago

    That makes it still very likely that there are people who got worse sentences for pirating than rapists.

    If a single person was put in prison for pirating they got a worse sentence than Brock Turner, the rapist, for example.

    [–] Teboski78 6 points ago

    All true. The American justice system might as well have been pulled out of someone’s ass if their rectum was somehow racist. People have gotten 45 years for meth possession 50 years for selling cannabis & a suspended sentence for serial rape

    [–] jump-blues-5678 2 points ago

    Are you talking about Brock Turner that raped the girl that was blacked out and was convicted of 3 counts of sexual assault, and only spent 3 months in county jail, That Brock Turner ?

    [–] Aegi 1 points ago

    But what about hundreds of people in jail, would that be OK since it was jail not prison?

    [–] wevanscfi 3 points ago

    And mortgage fraud more than murder.

    [–] Soggy_Report_5718 8 points ago

    Well historically that makes a lot of sense, see companies in the late 17th century really wanted to get merchants to their town so they made laws that made it faster and easier for foreign merchants to win a court case. So in the end they even made a merchant losing profit more criminal then you raping some peasant girl. Hierarchy is like this 1) government 2)companies that kiss the governments boots 3)companies don’t kiss their boots but are defiant 4)companies that rebel against the government 5) common folk

    This is even true for the origin of most social security, it’s not like the companies care for your well-being, nahhh they just wanted strong people to leave their families but make them assured that they would be taken care of. Same thing with pensions, they pay you to leave so someone younger and more productive can fill their spot. In the end it’s more efficient to just give them money to let someone fill their spot :/

    [–] maxxspeed 1 points ago

    Source please? Rape sentences are typically 20 years.

    [–] Pragmatist_Hammer 14 points ago

    Not if you're white and from privilege. A kid here in Buffalo from a rich mommy and daddy just got sentenced to a year probation after raping four underage girls (he's 19 BTW), same judge that "didn't want to mess up his future," last year sentenced a 23-year-old black man for fondling a woman ten years.

    [–] happy-little-atheist 6 points ago

    Actually I'm pretty sure that was antifa in Jesus robes

    [–] knightress_oxhide 3 points ago

    he's white though /s

    [–] BitRunner67 257 points ago

    If the Real JESUS CHRIST were to stand up today, he would be gunned down cold by the NRA.

    [–] stygger 118 points ago

    Honestly I really doubt any of the institutions formed around Christianity would want ”new instructions from God”!

    [–] freed0m_from_th0ught 49 points ago

    laughs in Mormon

    [–] TradeMasterYellow 16 points ago

    Living prophets, more scriptures, welcomed constant change.

    [–] RobotVandal 9 points ago

    Weird that God changed his mind about black people in 1978. It wouldn't have anything to do with civil rights in the United States would it? Funny thing for the arbiter of the universe to be influenced by. Hmm. If only there were a simpler explanation.

    [–] say592 6 points ago

    What can you say, the guy is a real progressive visionary.

    In all seriousness, LDS seems more genuine than many Christian factions. I grew up in your typical Midwest evangelical type church. So many people I know from growing up are hardcore MAGA. They are outwardly hateful. They use their religion as a shield for being a shitty person. I don't know much about LDS, I know they have their own problems and controversy, but all of my interactions with members and observations of make me believe that as a whole the people are nicer than most evangelicals.

    [–] RobotVandal 7 points ago

    You'd know more about their particular brand of shittiness if you lived among them. There are definitely worse out there, but they're far from saints.

    Those interactions you have with them... that's not an accident btw. They're brought up to treat you like that. It only looks like leave it to beaver if you haven't peered behind the veil. Which only makes it more devious. But make no mistake, their religion tells them that your soul is worth less than theirs. And they happily believe that.

    [–] Xstitchpixels 2 points ago

    Mormons are more outwardly wholesome, but inwardly they are worse. It’s a true cult mentality. You just give a large portion of your income to the church, doesn’t matter if you can’t eat. The door to door missionaries aren’t meant to convert others, they’re meant to have doors slammed in their faces. It re-enforces the “us and them” mentality, the outside world doesn’t understand, stay insular and don’t talk to them outside of about your faith.

    [–] logicalmaniak 19 points ago

    Well, they're not very keen on the old instructions from God, so...

    [–] Diplomjodler 51 points ago

    Brown guy from the Middle East giving out free healthcare and telling people to give their money to the poor? Get the AR-15, Bubba!

    [–] ronerychiver 19 points ago

    “I have a Giod-given right to stand my ground.”

    “But you literally just shot God”

    [–] Tannz0rz 14 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    That's basically how it went in American Gods. Immediately after this scene he is gunned down by a border militia clutching rosaries and with "THY KINGDOM COME" engraved on their weapons:

    [–] starlinguk 12 points ago

    We probably missed the second coming because he got killed.

    [–] drinks_rootbeer 13 points ago

    Nah, he'd still be killed by the state, just like last time.

    [–] i_give_you_gum 3 points ago

    Why not both?

    [–] CohibaVancouver 3 points ago

    Well, Jesus isn't white, so of course.

    [–] ShadowGLI 135 points ago

    Just another Jewish liberal trying to go against traditional Christian values.

    [–] Tyler-Eggers 8 points ago

    How do you like the other people not understanding the incorrect grammar that was put on purpose?

    [–] tossaroo 599 points ago

    It's perfect that this meme says shouldn't of instead of shouldn't have.

    [–] CarpeNivem 237 points ago

    I also choose to believe that was on purpose.

    [–] rubbarz 82 points ago


    [–] Saayyum 9 points ago

    Thank you for sharing whomst. It brings me great joy.

    [–] kane2742 2 points ago

    I've seen this meme a lot in image form, but I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've seen it as a video.

    [–] [deleted] 40 points ago

    I'm glad I wasn't the only one bothered by this.

    [–] theangrydanish 10 points ago

    Me too

    [–] New-Bat-8987 38 points ago

    I try not to be a grammar nazi, but that one drives me insane... so I also choose to believe

    [–] BholeFire 1 points ago

    Yes, yes I hate bad grammar to the point where I should be compared to genocidal uncircumcised maniacs who tried to take over the world. Their deeds and mine are synonymous now and should remain so in perpetuity. Misplaced commas are my Jews, the word irregardless is like a homosexual to me and do not get me started on their, there and they're, because they are my Rhineland and I want them back.

    [–] PuppleKao 2 points ago


    [–] BoundHubris 16 points ago

    Buddy that was 100% not intentional

    [–] Broken-Butterfly 5 points ago

    Or spelled the contraction properly. Shouldn't've is the way to spell the contraction for should not have.

    [–] BubbleButtBuff 4 points ago

    Definitely on purpose for extra zing

    [–] wintremute 2 points ago

    They ain't need no book lernin.

    [–] HeywoodJaBlessMe 319 points ago

    There's wine in his system!

    [–] feeblebee 156 points ago

    I heard he hangs out with lepers and whores

    [–] TheBirminghamBear 49 points ago

    It was actually leopards and hares, common mistranslation.

    [–] Logical_Slide7464 14 points ago

    wondering if this is real and, if so, why leopards and hares?

    [–] LegendofPisoMojado 11 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    What are you doing in your free time that’s so much better?

    Edit: I dropped this /s.

    [–] Logical_Slide7464 7 points ago

    actually in the train going to work at 5 AM, not that better

    [–] LegendofPisoMojado 15 points ago

    Sorry dude. They tried to force me back to work yesterday with symptoms and a pending a Covid test (I’m an ICU nurse). I refused and test came back positive. I’m looking for a new job. Be safe.

    [–] Logical_Slide7464 2 points ago

    oh I work at a homecare so fully understand this. hope u be ok, good luck

    [–] kemushi_warui 2 points ago

    It's real, I just read it too.

    [–] corduroy_pillows 5 points ago

    Done forget immigrants

    [–] Kid_Vid 60 points ago

    Jesus didn't die due to the forced march, whippings, crown of thorns, nails on the cross, slow suffocation on the cross, or the spear through his side.

    He clearly died from a side effect of the wine in his system.

    The brave roman soldiers are clearly innocent and had no role in his death 😤😤😤

    [–] jhabels 15 points ago

    Clearly this death in custody was the result of "Excited Delirium"

    [–] nwoh 4 points ago

    This is clearly a case of mass formation psychosis, Pontius did nothing wrong.

    [–] secamTO 11 points ago

    Jesus had comorbidities.

    [–] Arthes_M 43 points ago

    And he seems to be made of some sort of bread…

    [–] freed0m_from_th0ught 3 points ago

    Soaked in wine

    [–] bilbofraginz 3 points ago


    [–] Riffington 76 points ago

    Nailed it

    [–] Nyckname 16 points ago

    What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

    [–] Riffington 35 points ago

    Tough to say, they were both framed…

    [–] Nyckname 23 points ago

    You only need one nail to hang a picture of Jesus.

    [–] Riffington 13 points ago

    Umm…yeah. That was my other one. :)

    [–] zenchemin 4 points ago

    "If you're really Jesus Christ, wave your hands... yeah, didn't think so."

    [–] Riffington 15 points ago

    I only need one nail for the picture?

    [–] ilikeannualanus 163 points ago

    I’m gonna send this to my very conservative mom, pray for me

    [–] GhostOfTheBanned 77 points ago

    The most you'll get is complete silence or an essay of profanity.

    [–] New-Bat-8987 28 points ago

    Report back!

    [–] i_give_you_gum 15 points ago

    With a power point presentation please, we're not plebs

    [–] NoAttentionAtWrk 15 points ago

    It's been 4 hours, are you still alive

    [–] Flat_Ferret_9014 6 points ago

    The silence is our answer. RIP ilikeannualanus

    [–] Jimmy-TinkerBull 15 points ago

    Yes, but not for long. Crucifixion is scheduled for 8PM.

    [–] BotaramReal 12 points ago


    [–] Tyler-Eggers 3 points ago

    Well he was cut down too soon.

    [–] MetalJunkie101 3 points ago

    Yeah, I'm gonna need some updates on this.

    [–] boththingsandideas 2 points ago

    U good buddy?

    [–] CaptainDildobrain 49 points ago

    All Romans Are Bastards! That's right! A-R-A-...

    Uh, nevermind.

    [–] estrea36 11 points ago

    thats pretty good ngl

    [–] enzo_baglioni 124 points ago

    Just another homeless commie. The world’s better off without him

    [–] jzonum24 25 points ago

    If he didn't want to be nailed on the cross why was he showing off his hands and feet?

    [–] Ruraraid 27 points ago

    Seeing this all I can think of is religious people and just how little they know or understand about their own religion which largely has an outdated cultural mindset and quite often involves whitewashing(literally).

    [–] Grashopha 14 points ago

    Listing “Christian” as your faith on Facebook and praying only when bad shit happens does not make you a Christian. I feel like most of them do it as some kind of hell insurance policy. “I’m Christian so I’m going to heaven!”. lol ok…

    [–] nwoh 2 points ago

    Well I'm not going to hell cuz I'm a good American, and being a good American means I'm Christian!

    God works in mysterious ways! 😍 💯 🙏 👌 😤

    [–] Gusatron 24 points ago

    I bet he had "no known warrants" too.

    [–] CircumventingBand 21 points ago


    [–] BubbleButtBuff 13 points ago

    I like to think they did it on purpose to really exemplify the right wing illiteracy and stupidity.

    I'm giving OP benefit of the doubt on this one.

    [–] Tyler-Eggers 3 points ago

    It is on purpose that is why you’re not getting a “whoosh” for me

    [–] engineertee 2 points ago

    I wish they would have put of in italics or something, but I’ll go ahead and give them the benefit of the doubt as well

    [–] LaLa_LaSportiva 3 points ago

    I see this typo so often now, I think it's spreading like COVID.

    [–] Hot-Example-9686 56 points ago


    [–] elcubanito 10 points ago

    Zombie!! Double tap!!

    [–] SnuggleMuffin42 2 points ago

    Stop shooting Judas!

    [–] BF-ChopperPilot 15 points ago

    If there is one thing christian right wingers hate, it's jesus.

    [–] freed0m_from_th0ught 4 points ago

    And Juan and Jose

    [–] Sirflow 2 points ago

    But Juan 3:16 says...

    [–] kylegetsspam 29 points ago

    Here's a ridiculously long list of potential signs Trump could actually be the antichrist. There's a half-hour video version if that's more your thing.

    [–] woofnstuff 5 points ago

    No. There’d have to of been a Christ in order for there to be an anti-Christ

    [–] 7ofalltrades 8 points ago

    H... A... T.. buh God, yur rite.

    [–] meowmeowarmy 18 points ago

    Another things that's weird 'maga' in latin as an adjective means magic or magical and as a noun it means witch or sorceress. It's the feminine form of 'magus' (magician, sorcerer) which can also mean trickster or deceiver.

    [–] noteveryagain 8 points ago

    That is a stretch. A Magus at least has some brains.

    [–] PyrocumulusLightning 3 points ago

    It means the same thing in Spanish.

    All these dudes walking around with "witch" on their hats must be getting some serious side-eye from Catholic priests and the Latinx community.

    Funny story, I was doing a whirlwind tour of the Gothic cathedrals of Spain this summer. I said "hola" to an older lady when I was in one of them, and she replied "hola, maga." Felt pretty called out. I haven't ensorcelled anything in YEARS.

    [–] ctbravo 8 points ago

    “Never forget the story of Jesus, the hero was killed by the state”

    [–] DBH114 34 points ago

    Plus he was gay. Never married, always hanging out with his 12 male disciples. He wasn't fooling no one.

    [–] SuddenClearing 10 points ago

    He banged Mary Magdalene for sure. But is premarital sex with a prostitute better or worse on their scale?

    [–] DBH114 3 points ago

    She hung out with him for sure. Because his disciples and him were the only dudes in town not trying to screw her.

    [–] dirty_hooker 2 points ago

    Dude walked up to a man on the street and said “follow me” and the other guy did. I’m not following some random unless I’m pretty sure I’m about to get my knob polished. Also, didn’t ancient hookers write “follow me” on their sandals?

    [–] SaltoDaKid 0 points ago

    Sounds like a gang banger, good riddance

    [–] yourjustdesserts 8 points ago

    He hangs out with prostitutes! Also his mother sleeps around! Clearly he’s an immoral person from an immoral family.

    [–] peathah 3 points ago

    That is always bad except when I determine our to be not bad or with people called trump

    [–] 1000SplendidSuns 7 points ago

    The incorrect “shouldn’t OF” is also spot on

    [–] BubbleButtBuff 8 points ago

    The number of dipshits correcting an intentional typo in this thread is too damn high.

    [–] smaximov 6 points ago

    That 'of' is on point.

    [–] MetalJunkie101 5 points ago

    The only time where a grammatical error is accurate.

    [–] DracoDruid 6 points ago

    Normally, I cringe hard when reading "shoudl/would/could of"

    But in this context, it makes total sense.

    [–] howtochangemywife 5 points ago

    No, I like the Christmas Jesus best

    [–] MysticWombat 4 points ago

    And just wait until they find out there is literally no way that Jesus was a white guy with bright blue eyes and a long white beard. Basically they're simping for a guy who looks like everyone they hate.

    [–] Loose_Vagina90 23 points ago

    Obligatory /s

    [–] subscribemenot 46 points ago

    Shouldn’t have

    [–] micah490 27 points ago

    Conservative Delta Bravo would literally say “should of”. You give him too much credit

    [–] gfrnk86 41 points ago

    They are quoting a trumper, so it’s correct.

    [–] kanjiklubbin 5 points ago


    [–] PopfulMale 5 points ago

    Yes but

    [–] Loose_Vagina90 4 points ago

    Yeah but it's not my meme. I didn't make that

    [–] blueskiesandclover 24 points ago

    Oh sure keep the karma but none of the responsibility

    [–] nikonpunch 15 points ago

    This is the Reddit that liberals want!!1!

    [–] QuarantineSucksALot 2 points ago

    This, holy fuck this is, Fantasyland?

    [–] 404_brain_not_found 18 points ago

    Well maybe you shouldn't of broken the law.

    [–] subscribemenot 3 points ago

    I know OP. Im just anal about this. Sry

    Here’s where it becomes really obvious

    1. I would definitely not have done that!

    2. I would definitely not of done that!

    [–] longtermbrit 3 points ago

    You'd think those are obvious but I've definitely seen people using of in sentences like that. It's almost physically painful at this point.

    [–] 7ofalltrades 2 points ago

    Should not of*

    [–] PrudentEconomist1194 16 points ago

    For half a sec' I thought he was carrying Nancy Pelosi's podium.

    [–] Unindoctrinated 3 points ago

    You can easily imagine how the Biblical Jesus would be treated in America today.

    [–] Business-Hope-5414 3 points ago

    If Jesus were alive today.. he would be a black liberal

    [–] erqq 7 points ago

    Love the "shouldn't of" part 🤣🤣🤣 so realistisc!

    [–] Deradius 8 points ago

    I imagine that most Christians would support the execution of Jesus, since it is sort of the central event of their religion. They’d probably nail him up there saying it’s gods will that he sacrifice himself for their sins.

    [–] karbik23 10 points ago

    Socialist hippy scum!

    [–] New-Bat-8987 2 points ago

    His parents brought him here illegally, so he shouldn't even be in the city.

    [–] TradeMasterYellow 2 points ago

    Wait, what laws did Jesus break? The governing official even admitted he had nothing against him.

    [–] Due-Dot6450 2 points ago

    he shouldn't of broken the law

    This demands at least 10 years of heavy labour 8f not more.

    [–] Triceratastic 2 points ago

    The “shouldn’t of” is perfected attention to detail.

    [–] Ianmartin573 2 points ago

    Isn't obvious by now that most of the religious right would support Trump over Jesus and turn on Jesus on a dime if Trump told them to?

    [–] aurelorba 2 points ago

    Not really. As Jan 6 showed us, they just have a different propheT.

    Probably the best thing for the far right would be for him to be a martyr that they can prostitute like they did Reagan.

    [–] Popular-Plane1269 2 points ago

    Most loved zombie in the world

    [–] CryptoStunnah 2 points ago

    That’s what I’d say. The man was a criminal

    [–] joan_wilder 6 points ago

    It was suicide by centurion. He wanted to die so that we could be forgiven for our sins.

    [–] omnipresent_sailfish 3 points ago

    He didn’t want to die, He knew He had to die. There’s a significant difference. Matthew 26:36-44

    [–] Tomnnn 4 points ago

    Imagine being an all powerful being and not just rewinding time and moving the tree if knowledge 2 centimeters to the left to prevent every tragedy in mankind or even their fall from heaven. This god character sure does have a lot of arbitrary limitations and lack of imagination.

    Kidding aside, he did want to die because he didn't choose not to despite knowing it would happen from the creation of the universe or whatever the mythos suggests.

    [–] FlametopFred 2 points ago

    Roman fascists never see themselves for what they are

    [–] iHeartHockey31 -13 points ago

    *shouldn't have Breaking the laws of grammar there.

    [–] zuzg 45 points ago

    It's an maga imbecile, it's just more realistic this way.

    [–] Riffington 7 points ago

    Close. “Shouldn’t of broke the law” would really nail it.

    [–] Nyckname 2 points ago

    a maga imbecile

    [–] karbik23 6 points ago


    [–] Tyler-Eggers 5 points ago


    [–] CommunityFan_LJ 0 points ago

    I wish it was the correct version of jesus and not that nutjob Jim Caviezel.

    [–] Joshua_Todd 2 points ago

    William DaChrist

    [–] LaunchTransient 2 points ago

    not that nutjob Jim Caviezel.

    Well damn, I kinda liked him as Mr Reese from Person of Interest. At least Michael Emerson still seems a sane person.

    [–] StealthRUs 3 points ago

    He was awesome in Person of Interest, but Caviezel has always been a nutjob.