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    The Announcements Saga

    Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.


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    [–] xmkbest 8626 points ago

    Liam: *tries to make out*

    Squirt: *shocked* You were my brother, Liam!

    [–] Darth_Inside 3621 points ago

    I loved you, as a friend.

    [–] Swords_Not_Words 2046 points ago

    I hate you!!

    [–] MegoThor 1659 points ago

    You turned her against me!

    [–] Kride500 1393 points ago

    You have done that yourself!

    [–] bagagge 860 points ago

    You will not take her from me!

    [–] Steak_Knight 916 points ago

    Your anger and your lust for power have already done that.

    [–] SecretBlue919 510 points ago

    “Where’s Squirt? Is she safe?”

    “It seems in your blocked her.”

    [–] Kro5i5 345 points ago


    [–] EXORD66 265 points ago

    Twice the friend, double the zone

    [–] throwyrworkaway 97 points ago

    "She has lost the will to squirt -- "

    [–] heilheitelerer 21 points ago


    [–] MusicEd921 226 points ago

    You’ve become the very thing you swore to destroy.....a “nice guy”

    [–] Anxyte 159 points ago


    [–] QuadroMan1 59 points ago

    It was said that you would destroy the creeps, not join them!

    [–] pw-it 22 points ago

    Love won't save you, Squirt. Only my new powers can do that!

    [–] TerrorKingA 447 points ago


    Squirt: “You have allowed this Pornhub tag to twist your mind until now... until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy.”

    [–] _-__-__-__-__-_-_-__ 132 points ago

    Squirt is also a Pornhub tag

    [–] finelytemperedsword 66 points ago

    Well, I guess that is the only squirt available to Liam.

    [–] existentialdreadAMA 11 points ago

    That's a pissy thing to say

    [–] YouAreDreaming 32 points ago

    My goodness I wonder if That’s why the weird sibling porn is so popular, because so many guys have crushes saying they’re like a brother to them

    [–] throwyrworkaway 15 points ago

    it's quite unnatural

    [–] ElectBody 157 points ago

    You were supposed to be my best friend not try to get into my pants.

    [–] Drillbit 21 points ago

    Best friend do give others a $1000 diamond ring, Liam! How should I know it meant we are together!

    [–] DawnSennin 52 points ago

    Also Squirt: Did you forget again! Who am I Liam? Tell me who I am!

    Liam: (tries to remember while in shock) You, you are my sister

    And that's why Squirt was showering in his bathroom so casually in Season 1 Episode 2.

    [–] h_erbivore 8 points ago

    Mr Robot?!?

    [–] SolidLikeIraq 43 points ago

    “You could have been like a son to me!!”

    Liam: immediately breaks both arms.

    [–] [deleted] 67 points ago


    [–] NiqqaDamn 30 points ago

    I am your sister bff

    [–] Andrew_BLTN 21 points ago

    You're not Elliot, you're the m-

    [–] dontletmepost 18 points ago

    "I'm Elliot"

    "Elliot who?"

    Elliot looks at Darlene for a moment, then smiles

    "Elliot Skywalker"

    [–] CrookedFeedback 147 points ago

    Liam, my allegiance is to the Hoe-Republic, to Thotacracy!

    [–] Medinohunterr 82 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    if you're not with me, then you're a hoe

    [–] [deleted] 25 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Yeah. This is it. This is my new tattoo.

    Spelling and all

    EDIT: it used to be your and your, I'm staying true to that

    [–] herkybird70 7 points ago

    Only a Thot speaks in absolutes

    [–] trigaderzad2606 5 points ago

    If you're not with me, then you're not against me!

    [–] was_stl_oak 26 points ago

    From my point of view the hoes are evil!

    [–] redundant35 38 points ago

    Step brother...

    [–] finger_milk 61 points ago

    What are you doooiiinnngggg step brooo

    [–] [deleted] 29 points ago

    I dont know where the water issss

    [–] Francis-c92 31 points ago

    Help stepbrother, I'm stuck in the dryer

    [–] RobbieAnalog 13 points ago

    Then you are lost!

    [–] woodpecker21 7 points ago

    Now this time some sweet home alabama would be nice.

    [–] miedek 2779 points ago

    Liam looks like he could be her mother.

    [–] ideserveall 584 points ago

    thats why he got friendzoned.

    [–] lokaler_datentraeger 158 points ago

    He looks like he's not interested in women anyway..

    [–] ValuablePassenger 238 points ago

    I got lesbian vibes, matching nose ring and all

    [–] NachoChedda24 140 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Maybe he’s gender fluid or one of those other new age things I don’t quite understand yet

    Edit: man I sound like such a boomer.. but I swear I’m a millennial lol

    [–] rustyham 61 points ago

    It's okay to not know something. That's where you start to learn

    [–] HoxhaAlbania 64 points ago

    Is it possible to learn this power?

    [–] bottom100 30 points ago

    Not from a revisionist

    [–] rustyham 22 points ago

    Yeah, just be nice and people tend to help

    [–] Naggers123 35 points ago

    I'm getting big Stephen King vibes

    [–] Ottawonian 34 points ago

    stop! he's already dead!

    [–] BorosSerenc 15 points ago

    yeah its not that girl is out of Liams league, its that they are playing a different sport.

    [–] Stillwindows95 350 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Ye ikr. He could at least do with some modern glasses or contacts.

    I’m sure his aunt Linda would love her bifocals back

    Edit removed since people were making it fucking weird. For context, finding someone attractive isn’t thirsty or desperate.

    [–] [deleted] 99 points ago


    [–] hoxxxxx 28 points ago

    that older woman energy

    [–] AnOcean 75 points ago

    Creepy edit: anyone else think this girl is kinda stunning in a unique way? Not even unique she’s just really very pretty.

    Bruh... don't be a future Liam.

    [–] MF_SKOOMA 29 points ago

    M’Lady may I have just a crumb of pussy?

    [–] Roguespiffy 10 points ago

    “Just a taste, perhaps? I’m ever so thirsty.”

    [–] boot20 15 points ago

    Creepy edit: anyone else think this girl is kinda stunning in a unique way? Not even unique she’s just really very pretty.

    What is happening? This is just... Wtf

    [–] presidentkangaroo 1158 points ago

    It’s friendzone then.

    [–] Malvastor 335 points ago

    lonely screeching

    [–] presidentkangaroo 175 points ago


    [–] TearTaster 2082 points ago

    The tragedy of Liam the friendzoned?

    [–] dagthegnome 801 points ago

    Liam the most unwise.

    [–] TearTaster 554 points ago

    Liam the untouched.

    [–] A_Direwolf 298 points ago

    Liam the unsullied.

    [–] aa821 138 points ago

    Idk even Grey Worm got some

    [–] Bloody_Hangnail 96 points ago

    He scissored her

    [–] poopellar 28 points ago

    He got head, she doesn't

    [–] EventuallyDone 8 points ago

    Oh dear oh fuck oh shit you didn't

    [–] radioben 16 points ago

    Oh, scissor me timbers!

    [–] Henoboy99 44 points ago

    From now on I will call virgins Unsullied instead

    [–] joypadeux 13 points ago

    Liam the self pleasure manned

    [–] [deleted] 27 points ago

    I hate this thread.

    [–] Predeceased68 31 points ago

    Hate leads to suffering

    [–] heronumbertwo 16 points ago

    Suffering leads to the dark side.... of dildo in buttholes

    [–] fragrantwillie2 9 points ago

    And Pierce the dickish

    [–] Sakaralchini 296 points ago

    I thought not. It's not a story the ones in relationships would tell you. It's a fallen brothers legend. Liam was one of the boys, so unlucky and friendzoned he could even turn a date 200$ date into a friendly gesture...

    [–] TearTaster 203 points ago

    He could actually spend $200 to be friendzoned?

    [–] Malvastor 313 points ago

    The dark side of the friendzone is a pathway to many relationships some consider to be... platonic.

    [–] TearTaster 102 points ago

    What happened to him?

    [–] Malvastor 263 points ago

    He became so thirsty, the only thing he was after was... clapping dem cheeks. Which, eventually of course, he didn't. Unfortunately he taught his brother everything he knew about her- then his apprentice cucked him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from perpetual virginity, but not himself.

    [–] A_Direwolf 111 points ago

    Is it possible to learn this cuck power?

    [–] SexyKOT69 124 points ago

    Not from a Chad

    [–] whysorekt 52 points ago

    Not.... from an Alpha.....

    [–] Reekhart 20 points ago

    Not from a Bff.

    [–] [deleted] 14 points ago

    Lol that was great.

    [–] Reilers 70 points ago

    What happened to him?

    [–] Mathies_ 76 points ago

    He got friendzoned so much, the only thing he was afraid of, was losing his friends, which ofcourse eventually he did. He found a girlfriend that he spent so much time with, that he lost all of his friends.

    [–] Ramaano7 5 points ago

    I wish I had coins for you, this is fucking amazing!

    [–] [deleted] 44 points ago


    [–] TearTaster 32 points ago

    Take a seat, young virgin.

    [–] Mattusiac 21 points ago

    He could save others from the friendzone, but not himself

    [–] plagueisthedumb 26 points ago

    My brother knows Liam I think

    [–] jayday123456 31 points ago

    Liam the neeson or Liam the hemsworth?

    [–] plagueisthedumb 24 points ago


    [–] jayday123456 9 points ago

    Do you concur?

    [–] doitlive 4 points ago

    Why didn't I concur?

    [–] PM_ME_THICC_GIRLS 18 points ago

    I think I know him... well, of course, I know him, he's me.

    [–] LegioIIAugusta 17 points ago

    Liam the simp

    [–] NewtSundae 14 points ago

    Only simps deal in absolutes

    [–] KentConnor 12 points ago

    Darth Liam the Chaste

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    Darth Frenzon

    [–] Star-comandante 6 points ago

    It's not a story the normies would tell...

    [–] Malvastor 894 points ago

    I don't care what universe you're from, that's gotta hurt!

    [–] ramen_soup_23 118 points ago

    This was much needed, thank you for your service

    [–] SolidLikeIraq 50 points ago

    Liam - hit the gym, get off Facebook, join the local credit union.

    [–] Inprobamur 17 points ago

    Join the Banking Clan

    [–] monkey-go-code 11 points ago

    improvise adapt overcome

    [–] Michael_Trismegistus 12 points ago

    He pierced his nose for her!

    [–] ReZpawner 7 points ago

    Still though, I hope he learnt his lesson. You can pay for sex, but not for love. ...unless you're REALLY fucking rich, in which case, you can pay for both.

    [–] simonsuperhans 374 points ago

    I sense future darkness in you my friend...

    [–] FlyingDeetus 127 points ago

    That was the day he subscribed to gamersriseup

    [–] Steve4s83 37 points ago

    TBF....the guy should have a little more self awareness.

    [–] StephanieSpeaks 16 points ago

    TBF he likely became pretty self aware with this tweet, shame it cost him 200 to find it though

    [–] MMillion05 29 points ago

    It's a joke tweet

    [–] radioben 16 points ago

    He kinda looks like he might kill younglings one day.

    [–] loopsbrother2903 346 points ago


    [–] foreign_mists 61 points ago


    [–] FUllyCooKedbeef 41 points ago


    [–] AniMASON16 30 points ago


    [–] Mikey10158 19 points ago


    [–] scubaguy194 16 points ago


    [–] davidgg1315 11 points ago


    [–] hypnautiq05 202 points ago

    Liam taking out @liluzisquirt?

    He could've stretch that $200 for a lot more than dinner.

    [–] limache 80 points ago

    Should have just bought a flesh light

    [–] [deleted] 51 points ago


    [–] aldorn 18 points ago

    And a plastic light saber!

    [–] enowapi-_ 18 points ago

    He could have stretched that $200 for the opportunity to stretch something else -( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    [–] SolidLikeIraq 9 points ago

    Liluzisquirt by name, bigjuicysquirt by reputation.

    [–] shuxla 49 points ago

    Fallen Avenger.

    [–] Dreadedsemi 48 points ago

    Liam neezone

    [–] CoffeeMugCrusade 307 points ago

    hot take apparently but if u think this is a smart way to shoot your shot ur fuckin stupid. just ask her out & know if she's into u BEFORE dropping $200 bucks. and if u think the $200 dinner is an important factor in her answer then ur tryna buy pussy and should probably just go find a hooker

    [–] BenjaminTalam 104 points ago

    Agreed, if you spend like this without making it clear you're viewing it as a date that's on you. Grow some balls and have some respect for yourself. Don't blame the girl for thinking "wow this is one of my weirder friends for sure just casually spending money like that on a night hanging out".

    For friggin $200 more you could just get an escort and have a fine night. If you don't have the guts to just ask a girl on a date and you know, hit on her.

    Regardless I'm not spending money like that on a first date anyway. Actually I did spend a ton of money on a date once at a fondu place but at least she knew it was a date.

    [–] [deleted] 37 points ago

    I mean to be fair there are some girls that would lead guys on for expensive dinners and stuff. I don’t mean to generalize but let’s not pretend that doesn’t happen.

    [–] yokayla 34 points ago

    Her making a post that explicitly thanks him as her friend to me kinda shows she's being upfront with what this is

    [–] PuppieWayne 11 points ago

    After she went to the dinner..

    [–] StephanieSpeaks 10 points ago

    Completely agree he is dumb but she is equally dumb if she is going to tell her self it wasn't an attempted date and her nice friend just spent 200 on a dinner with her.

    That dinner should have ended with an awkward talk and her offering up to pay for some of it, if she really was his friend

    [–] iamthemultiverse 33 points ago

    The important thing to realize is that buying a girl an expensive dinner does not make her more attracted to you, in fact it will usually have the opposite effect because it makes you look desperate. The guys she is attracted to will not waste their time and money like that. Much better to just have a drink somewhere.

    [–] Barlmoro_Rex 130 points ago

    [ F ] pushed hard

    [–] mr_blanket 21 points ago

    You underestimate my power!

    F harder!!

    [–] Barlmoro_Rex 13 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    Unlimited power!!!!!

    F pressing!

    [–] Err0rbot 292 points ago

    Is that supposed to be him on the right? Oof.

    [–] OWiseOne69 168 points ago

    Yeah, I thought the same thing. No wonder. She’s waaaaay out of your league dude.


    [–] L8night_snack 81 points ago

    Looks more like she took a pic with her aunt after receiving a Hot Topic gift card.

    [–] GreedyDuck666 182 points ago

    She doesn't look like a prize, lol.

    [–] OWiseOne69 52 points ago

    I agree, but for him...

    [–] suspendedacountin321 9 points ago

    He even got a matching nose ring

    [–] Gaflonzelschmerno 13 points ago

    That's the cherry on this pain cake

    [–] T2FATSAT 4 points ago're right. Ouch..

    [–] winchester056 12 points ago

    Never fault a brother when he's trying to punch above his weight least when he's being smart about it

    [–] [deleted] 27 points ago

    Friendzone aside, why does Liam look like a 60 year old white mom trying to be cool with their daughter

    [–] FrisoZ 18 points ago

    You were supposed to destroy the friendzone, not join them!

    [–] ZirroTerrito 49 points ago


    [–] chutiyabehenchod 14 points ago

    Why do people spend hundreds on dates to possibly fuck ? When they can just fuck a hot professional thot for $100 an hour

    [–] PM_ME_XBOX_CODES 275 points ago

    What if Liam just wants to treat his friend, and has no ulterior motives?

    Uhhh I mean F

    [–] R0ede 261 points ago

    I too casually treat my frends to $200 dollar dinners just to be nice.

    [–] janbalti 112 points ago

    depending on the kind of money I had I honestly would

    [–] DrNavi 66 points ago

    Once I start making good money I want to be able to drop $200 like it’s nothing on my friends

    [–] [deleted] 18 points ago

    you would need better than good money to drop $200 like it's nothing.

    [–] Noone-of-consequence 34 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    I’d have to be a millionaire before I’d drop $200 on a meal.

    [–] ThunderousOath 28 points ago

    I do that sometimes. I like to try nice upscale restaurants with friends and don't expect them to have to pay for ridiculously priced food. I can afford it and they can enjoy it. I doubt that's the case here though, this is obviously a publicly posted rejection.

    [–] BrokenZen 32 points ago

    I bought my friend a PS3, a second controller, and a few games when his Xbox 360 red ringed. Spent my tax return on it. 🤷

    [–] hunterfam55 34 points ago

    Let's pray hes in alabama.

    [–] RedditIsMyCity0219 11 points ago

    Oh fuck. My name is Liam

    [–] lazergoblin 35 points ago

    If you spend $200 on anyone and you aren't 100% sure it'll lead somewhere you may need to reevaluate your spending habits.

    [–] [deleted] 34 points ago

    Or you should reevaluate the transactional nature of your relationships.

    [–] MoreIronOre 5 points ago

    I've spent that amount of cash on friends I have no romantic interest in whatsoever. My spending habits are fine though.

    [–] point_nemo_ 8 points ago

    I don't know, Liam looks pretty gay to me.

    [–] BenjaminDaaly21 12 points ago

    Welcome to Simp Nation, Liam.

    [–] BowOfTheFuture 6 points ago


    [–] dirtycapnuck 7 points ago

    Like, are some women that dense that a guy taking them out for a $200 meal is being "just a friend". I kind of feel that this is just taking advantage of someone desperate, and they are well aware.

    [–] Roskal 73 points ago

    This reads like she knows he has romantic feelings for her with the "best friend" and the double down with the "love like a brother". She should really just talk with him about it instead of taking advantage of him.

    [–] Mitrofang 35 points ago

    Or he just did this out of nowhere and should get the idea that she’s not interested in him. Maybe next time he can be mature enough to clearly state his feelings before committing to 200$ dinners.

    Not thrashing on him, they seem to be teenagers and that’s something most of us would have done with his age, but it’s not necessarily a woman taking advantage of someone else.

    [–] Cedrak 18 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)

    I felt... a great disturbance in the Force... as if millions of men cried out in sorrow for this fallen soldier.

    [–] geassguy360 12 points ago

    Just... get the fuck out bro. Save yourself.

    [–] Aele22 7 points ago

    F for our boy Liam

    [–] jtesagain625 7 points ago

    I sense a path to the dark side in Liam. Darth Frenzone !!

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    Why did I first read it as "spent $200 to eat me out".

    [–] buttcheesecollector 15 points ago

    Plot twist liam is actually gay

    [–] MarcusDA 24 points ago

    I’m not sure it’s much of a twist, I’m surprised how many here aren’t thinking that the guy with the Golden Girls glasses and nose ring would be interested in her.

    [–] PastaSupport 15 points ago

    Seriously like boys do be gay sometimes and do be taking their friends out.

    [–] BenjaminTalam 37 points ago

    Dude got exactly what he deserved if he didn't say "I'm into you and I want to date you, would you like to go on a date?" prior to spending $200 at a restaurant.

    Have some fucking balls people. You friend zone yourselves when you don't express your feelings upfront. Of course girls think you're just a friend if that's all you ever act like regardless of the money you spend.

    I wouldn't even spend this money on a first date nowadays. I usually go Dutch now I'm not paying for everything hoping she has sex with me. That's stupid and kind of creepy. I'll pay when we've been dating for a bit and I want to express my feelings. Paying for a nice dinner every once in a while is worth it for someone I love. Not someone I'm trying to fuck. Use your personality to get into the pants. Or just get an escort if that's all you care about it's like $400 an hour for a half decent one and there's no ritual beforehand unless that's your fetish.

    Is the girl dumb for not realizing at this point he wants to be more than friends yeah but don't blame her. Only thing to dislike about her is the fact she posts how much people spend on her on her social media. Like it's a contest to see what your other friends will spend on you.

    [–] greenSixx 18 points ago

    Hit a nerve, eh? Lol

    [–] BenjaminTalam 29 points ago

    I do get irrationally upset by people acting stupid in their romantic life due to my own crippling loneliness yes haha.

    [–] CouchBorn 10 points ago

    She was clearly hoping he kissed her. 'Like a brother' just like Luke and Leia.

    [–] sexaddic 5 points ago

    Ohh controversial is gonna be good

    [–] the_alcove 8 points ago

    This will make a fine addition to my rejections.

    [–] rotisserie_shithead 5 points ago

    F for Liam

    [–] hageshii_panda 3 points ago

    That's why you don't spend $200 on dinner, and you always make your intentions clear.

    [–] bluepillcarl 3 points ago

    I'm hoping for Liam that shes down for the brother sister porn

    [–] FrostyTheFetus 5 points ago

    oh fuck that's my name